All language subtitles for meet_the_browns_s04e10_the_candlelight_dinner

Corrie, they're running the other one
back -to -back just like they did the

other one. I like this.

Get the door, Corrie.

You closer.

Oh, look at this. Ah, look at this. He's
got a gun.

Corrie, you closer now. You get the
door.

When you think about that, when you're
old and alone in a nursing home getting

sponge bag by a lady named Earl.

That's me, Corrie. You're going to leave
me by myself.

Hey. Hey, Corrie.

Hey, Corrie. Rob.

Hey, Earl.

Oh, hey, Colonel, are you living?

Oh, no, the young folks called it
swagger.

The doctor called it a bruised hip.

Hey, did you go to Edna's vet and get it
checked out? No, fat in the box.

This fool went roller skating and fell
down.

This meat was almost paid for.

Colonel been pulling all kinds of crazy
stunts since Nate died.

You lost another friend?

Boy, they dropping like flies.

You know what? I'm going to have to stay
away from you.

I'll fool around and be next.

The last time I saw Nate, he was making
a bucket list.

Oh, what's a bucket list?

Well, it's a list of things you want to
do before you die.

Oh. He should have put stay alive on the
top of his.

Now the colonel is making all kinds of
stupid lists for all the stupid things

always wanted to do.

Stupid.

Colonel, is that where you escaped?

Yeah, I've always wanted to roll bounce
once in a lifetime.

Yeah, you did roll and bounce.

Oh, what's next? A jerry curl and
parachute bounce?

Hey, you know I've always wanted a jerry
curl.

Add that to the list.

Well, you might want to add grow hair
before that.

That's ridiculous.

Tell him, Brown.

Tell him. Well, I wanted a curl myself.

Oh, Lord. So what stopped you?

I went bald in the third grade.

I was the only kid that had a bottle of
hair growth tonic and an apple in my

lunchbox. Hey, it's not too late, Brown.
Join me. From now on, let's live each

day like it's our last.

If I had to wake up next to Edna, I'd
wish every day was my last. You're Mr.

Brown.

about what? You don't notice nothing
different?

New old shirt?

Curly, guess again.

New cologne, because your last one
smelled like hot garbage.

That was French. That show how much you
know. It was hot garbage.

My new do?

Well, it's a don't. You're just jealous
because your hair ain't silky and curly

and flammable.

You look ridiculous.

What are you doing?

I told you, me and the Colonel are going
to start a bucket list.

And this is what you came up with? A
jerry curl?

Yes, Paula.

I never had one before.

Well, you never had a daughter with a
brand new car either.

How about you start with that?

Well, if my daughter got her credit
score up, then I could have a daughter

a brand new car. How about that?

Paula, you know what I always wanted to
do?

Right here.

What? I always wanted to eat an egg raw,
just swallow, like on that movie,

Rocky. Really?

Yeah, I just always wanted to do it. You
know, he was a fighter.

Well, the only thing you fighting is O
.H.

I think I can do it.

I think I can do it. You think I can do
it?

God, you can do it. You got it, you got
it. You ready? No, you ready?

You were supposed to lock the door. You
were supposed to lock the door.

Did you saw anything?

Well, I hope not.

I'm in the middle of doing that little
thing that you do, you know?

Baby, look.

All we can do is act natural.

Acting natural is what got us into this
mess.

Hey, Joaquin.

Hey, buddy.

Hey.

Sorry I scared you guys.

So are we.

He startled her. What are you doing up?

Well, I couldn't sleep, so I went to ask
you if I could have a glass of milk.

Is that all?

Could I have a cookie?

Baby, you can have a whole box of
cookies, okay?

Get you some.

Whole box?

Yeah. I'll get sick.

Jeez, you guys are so irresponsible.

Oh, that was close.

You know what?

Maybe it's time we had the talk with
Joaquin. The talk?

Yeah. Oh, wow.

I remember the first time I walked in on
my mother.

Were you traumatized?

No, just kind of amazed that the
chandelier could hold her.

We need to try that.

Look, look, look at your daddy.

What you think, Corrie? Look what you
think.

You look like Breezerada.

Corrie, don't be disrespectful to your
daddy.

You need not to be disrespectful to
yourself.

Presenting Silly Vanilli.

Smokin'. Yeah.

Y 'all act like y 'all been smokin'.
Hey, you don't look too bad yourself,

Brown. Yeah, you know. Yeah.

Y 'all look like fools. That's what you
look like. Well, I mean, so did

everybody with a curl.

Now it's our turn.

It's our rite of passage. Kind of like
when you layin' your eggs on the way

to the swamp.

Colonel, give me some juice. Hit me one
time. One time.

Hit me two times. Two times.

Hey, make it funky. Hit me three times.
Three times.

What you hit me for? I'm trying to knock
some sense into you.

Whatever you do, don't let him hit down.

The colonel got grease all over our
night's furniture.

You sure that wasn't that rabbit you was
gnawing on last night?

Hey, that's okay, bro. Hey, we're
working our way down the list.

Oh, there's more?

Yes, we still got a...

booze and march with the penguins. Swim
with the sharks.

Oh, you keep that up. You gonna be
sleeping with the fishes.

Brown, did you get the motorcycle?

Yeah, I rented it. It's out back.

All right.

Motorcycle? Yeah, that's on the list,
too. We want to ride a motorcycle and

Eartha Kitt.

Eartha Kitt?

Eartha Kitt is dead.

Shut up.

We better take that off the list. No,
don't take it off. Just put a laugh.

Oh, this is a beauty, Brown.

Yep, just like in the movie. Yeah.

Look at that, Colonel.

Oh, that baby's sturdy.

Hey, baby, you gonna wish us luck?

No. I just want to know if your
insurance policy is paid up.

Start up. Start up.

Listen to me, Mr. Brown.

he's sipping through a curly straw would
you rather i got him a beer

thanks could

i get a cookie he wants a cookie will

you're the one who's not mature enough
for this conversation.

What conversation?

Uh, conversation about the birds and the
bees, Joaquin.

Oh, I'm sorry. This gets me every time.

Gets him every time.

Joaquin, we need to talk.

Go on, baby.

Joaquin, when a man and a woman really
care about each other, there

are many ways that they can show it.

Like a kiss?

Like a kiss?

Like a kiss.

Exactly. Oh, I see Brianna kissing all
the time. You what? You what?

Yeah, she practices on her pillow all
the time.

However, when a grown woman and a grown
man who are

married, when they really, really like
each other,

motorcycles okay core we'll be right
there look i don't know but they're at

hospital so come on uh all right look we
gotta go uh your sister's

upstairs go get brianna we'll be right
back

I can't believe you two would do
something so irresponsible.

And where'd you get these cute little
outfits?

You look like Dumb and Dumber.

More like Rick James and Little Richard
after a fight. And nobody wants one.

That's a good one. That's a good one.

That's all right. Just kick a man while
he's down. Just kick him.

I don't care if you're up or down. I
just want to kick you.

Well, look, good thing is you two are
going to be just fine.

Could you two please take it easy from
now on?

Well, look, Sasha and I are going to go
and have our little talk with Joaquin.

You first.

You first. You first.

Will y 'all just go up and talk to the
boy?

Anyway, Colonel, this is your fault.

Yes, I think you dropped activate on the
tie.

My fault? This little bell?

That side cocking handled the weight of
a man twice my size. Yeah.

If the weight is spreaded evenly, you're
built like a ball, Brown.

You shouldn't talk about my
shortcomings. You know I got a thyroid

Oh, how many thyroids did you eat?

Ain't it time for the colonel to saddle
you up and ride you home?

Well, at least we didn't get a ticket.

Well, the cops say ain't no crime in
being stupid.

If there was, you'd have been put down
years ago.

Seriously, you two could have hurt
yourselves.

I know, Cora. I thought I was going to
see the Lord.

But he told me it wasn't my turn.

And, Cora, by the way, I talked to the
Lord, and he said, quit asking him for a

husband. It's too late.

Oh, Edna, your name come up, too. I
asked the Lord, I said, you know, Edna,

said, never heard of her.

I told him, don't worry about it.

She's going the other direction, to the
lower room.

Well, Edna, y 'all can stop all that
bucket list nonsense.

Stop? Hey, we're at the time of our
life.

Yeah, I've never gone so fast in all my
life. My hair was just blowing in the

wind. Because it was in your hand at the
time.

It was still blowing, though.

Idiots need to stop all this death wish
talk.

You know what? If I had to wake up next
to you every morning looking you in your

face, I would wish somebody to death me,
too.

All right, that's enough. I'm not going
to sit here.

and watch you kill yourself with this
little butterball.

You leaving, Edna? That's right. That's
the first thing on my list. Get rid of

Edna. Check.

Oh, no, no. That's enough, Brown.

Edna, don't go.

Yeah, slow your rolls, dude.

Come here, baby.

My whole life, I've been answering
people and fulfilling responsibilities.

This is the first time that I've been
able to do what I want and waking up

to you.

It's what I want. It's what I like.

Oh, Colonel, that's so disgusting.

He kissed that horse right in the mouth,
Corey. Look,

maybe the Colonel has a point.

Miss Edna, if a man hadn't fulfilled his
lifelong dream, you don't want to be

the one who's stood in the way, do you?

I guess you have a point.

Come on, baby, let's go home.

Wait, wait, but what's next on the list?

Skydiving!

Yes!

Skydiving? Oh,

you out of your colorblind mind, you are
not going skydiving, Mr. Brown. Okay,

Kirby, you're not from the city and
trying to tell me what I can do. All I

to do is stay black and die.

Well, that's exactly what you're going
to be doing if you go skydiving. And you

are not going skydiving. Well, that's my
dream.

Well, you better wake up. You shut up!

Well, we'll have parachutes, and I've
already talked to an instructor.

Yeah, and he told me we can keep the
goggles.

And put it inside both y 'all's caskets.

We ran with the bulls.

Is this gonna take long?

No. Sweetheart, Will's gonna start
talking any minute now.

Right, Will?

I'm thinking.

Am I in trouble? Because whatever you
thought I did, it wasn't me.

It was Brianna.

No, sweetheart, you are not in trouble.

Uh, Joaquin, you know you weren't always
here, right?

Well, you gotta bring up foster care,
man.

It's not a threat. Sorry. That's not
really what I meant to say.

Okay.

Everybody in the world is born.

Born.

You know what I'm saying?

I think Brianna was hatched.

Are you funny?

Continue,

Will.

You know what?

I'm just going to get right to it. Do
you know where babies come from?

Is she serious?

I mean, what kind of doctor are you?

How do ladies' stomachs? Duh.

So do you know how they get there?

Yeah, how they get in the stomach. In
the stomach?

Okay, I done heard enough. I've been
sitting there listening to y 'all

trying to tell this baby about the birds
and the bees.

It's a mess.

I suppose that you could do better? Yes,
I can and I will. Sit down, nurse.

Walk on, come here.

Do you know where babies come from?

No. Do you want to know where babies
come from?

Not really.

Okay, good. Go play.

Walk on.

When you're ready, will you talk to your
people?

Okay. All right.

There we go.

Mr. Brown, what was that?

What you mean, what was that? That was
me telling him. He don't want to know.

I had... Like pie charts and graphs and
stuff. You know what I'm saying?

We were ready.

That boy wasn't ready to hear that, and
y 'all wasn't ready to tell him.

When he ready, he'll let y 'all know.

And by the way, if you keep your door
locked, you won't have to deal with this

mess. Y 'all doing all the, uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,
uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh,

uh.

for the big day?

Who are you?

Oh, name's Mel.

We fly guys.

I don't know if I like that.

Well, Brown, this is the skydiving
instructor I invited to Moulton, so you

feel more comfortable with our dive.

Mel, this is my friend Leroy Brown.

Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr.
Brown.

Yes, it's a pleasure. Are we going to
dive?

That all depends, bro.

Depends. Depends?

You mean tell me we're going to use that
for the dive?

No, bro, that's just some skydiving
humor.

Well, it ain't funny.

Well, I also brought by some paperwork
for you guys to fill out.

Oh, what's all that? What the?

Oh, you know, they're just some reforms
relieving us of any liabilities in case

of, you know, accident, injury.

Or even untimely death.

When is death timely?

Well, fortunately, we've only had one
fatality. Okay, now, wait, wait, wait.

What's fortunate about a fatality?

I think it's like an old dude. Oh, like
you guys.

Maybe you know him. Named with Nate
Tompkins.

Nate Tompkins? Wasn't that your friend?

Well, that's how I found out about him.
Sky Diamond was on Nate's list.

Yeah, um, Nate didn't make it, bros.

Um... Yeah, I think the one, two, three
pull was just a little too much for that

little dude.

What? He couldn't count to three? Well,
Lake stuttered. Oh, yeah.

Yeah,

yeah. He didn't make a... No, he didn't.
Listen, bro, I think I just found out

what you can take off our list.

Oh, yeah, okay.

Well, you do know that there are no
refunds, right, bro?

I think I just found something to
replace that on the list.

What's that?

Be down to dive, instructor.