All language subtitles for meet_the_browns_s01e01_brown_meadows

Dropkick me!

Dropkick me, Jesus!

I want you to step and dropkick me!

Dropkick me!

Yeah,

come on in, Cara.

Oh, it looks wonderful in here. You're
doing a great job.

decorating the place, fixing it up. My
daddy would be so proud of me, won't you

think, Carver? Yes, I know he would.

So how'd you learn how to do all this
stuff?

I went to the store, Carver, and I
picked up the whole DVD box set of This

Hood. This Old Hood?

Yeah. I've never heard of that show. Oh,
that's a show on TV.

They teach you how to wire up stuff with
duct tape and electric cords and stuff.

Oh, my.

Carver. You know, I went to that store
and them people treat me so rude at that

store. I went and I asked that girl, I
said, do you have the clap?

The what?

The clap. I told that girl, give me the
clap. She said, I ain't got no clap. I

said, you're a liar.

What you need the clap?

She didn't even know she had the clap.
She had the clap? Yeah, I gave my dear

the clap for Christmas.

You did?

You want the clap, Carl? No, I don't
want the clap.

Carver, you can get the clap. It's easy.

What are you talking about, the clap,
Mr. Brown? You have to explain to me.

Carver, you slow.

You've seen it on TV.

Oh, you're talking about the clapper.

That's what I said.

Well, I ain't got time to sit around
here and talk to you all day, Carver. My

vision of making this into an old folk
home, the Bible say if you build it,

they'll come.

That's what I'm going to do. I'm going
to build it. You feel?

Well, Cora, let me get back to work. I
got to finish rewiring this house. Wait

minute. You're going to rewire the whole
house yourself?

Yes, Cora. I was rewiring this house,
and I hit one of them wires on that

and that thing just... Just like that.
Just got all in me, Cora.

Boy, I just felt the power of God like
the Holy Ghost was in me.

Now, I think you should call an
electrician. It'll be safer. Oh, no, no.

Cora, it's just this electric fuse box
in the closet here. Okay. I know what

doing. I know how to handle this. Okay.

There you go.

Wait a minute, Mr. Grant. Well, I'm
going to get on out of here because

going to need somebody to identify the
body after the fire.

What if I move this? What happens?

I told you to stop following me that I'm
married.

I'm sorry. You're just so beautiful.

Okay, but aren't you married?

Yeah, but...

You're like the sexiest woman I've ever
seen.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you gotta go.

Okay.

I know you're married, but, um, would
your husband mind if I

wrapped my arms around you like this?

Oh, he might.

I bet you he'd lose his mind if I kissed
you, huh?

Like this?

I, I...

Y 'all stop all that. Honeymoon is over.

Quit that.

I'm going to pour some water on y 'all
like they've been doing dogs.

How you doing, Uncle Brock? I'm good,
nephew.

Nephew. You almost lost your uncle.

What happened?

This will come home. Y 'all hold me. I'm
coming.

Y 'all almost lost me. What happened? I
was doing the fuse box because, you

know, the lights always be going out.
And then I seen a big light and I start

going to the light.

Like this. And we started doing a live
concert. And James Brown was doing his

thing. And come up. And I said, oh,
Lord. And me and Pearl Bailey did a

Yeah. And then y 'all started doing
freaky stuff. And I came back from the

light.

Nephew, just feel me. Don't you feel?
Oh, yeah.

Everybody. All right.

I feel better. And I feel like my hair
is growing back. Is it?

Yes. Yeah. Definitely. It is. Oh, Lord.

I just feel like I'm shivering all over.
Hi, Mr. Brown.

Oh, Sasha, Willie, I'm so glad you're
here.

How are you?

Well, as a social worker, they always
throw me into a million things, and I

don't know what to do. Down the street
at the senior citizen's home is on fire,

and I really need a place for the
residents today. Is everybody okay?

Yeah, no, thank God. But do you have any
room over at your hospital?

Oh, wow, I'm not sure about that, but...
Oh, oh, Mr.

Brown. is about to open up a senior
citizen home, so maybe they can stay

Mr. Brown, can you take a few people?

Well, maybe one or two. I'm still
working on the place, so... Thank you,

Brown. One or two.

Come on in, everyone.

Well, you had already had them, like I
said, yes.

Make yourself at home.

One, two. That's good.

Oh, there's more, Mr. Brown.

What the devil?

You smoke, don't you?

Lord Nelson Mandela.

Yes.

Lord, ain't that that lady from, uh,
what's the movie? The Titanic?

Yes, Lord.

George Foreman, look at you.

Lord, look at, uh, okay, now, what y
'all like, a circus?

For the last time, lady, I'm telling
you, we

don't have no elevator. This ain't the
Waldorf Historica.

Hey, Stella.

You got a minute?

Oh, Lord.

What can Brian do for you?

I need a bed tonight. Which one is your
room?

Third room on the left. Why?

I'll see you there. Oh, really?

A man my age shouldn't have to go
through nothing like that. Hey,

listen up, Irene.

Before I start to knock, what the...

Now, we're going to have a situation on
our hands if I don't use the head in the

next 30 seconds.

Use the what?

Oh, never mind.

I'll just do it in the bushes again.

He is so stupid. I just... Oh, Mr.
Brown, we got big problems.

Okay, look, most of these folks don't
have their medicines with them, and they

need to get some rest.

What do you want me to do?

You know what else, Mr. Brown?

We need to get these people something to
eat.

What?

It's just too much going on. I just need
to gather my thoughts. I need to take a

break or something.

Yes.

Hello.

I'm Robin Robinson.

I run the retirement home down the
street.

Oh, okay.

How's the fire coming along?

Oh, it's almost out. I do thank you so
much for letting my residents stay here

while we wait.

Oh, that's no problem. You know what?
They can stay. I'm opening up my own

retirement home. A what?

No, no, no, no, no. You see, these
people are my clients. I run a business.

Do you even have a license?

Oh, no, I'm not driving nowhere. I don't
need a license.

I'm going to ride my bike.

Look, I am the only facility in this
area, and there is no way I'm going to

allow you to compete with me.

My daddy told me from heaven to take
care of these old people, and that's

I'm going to do. He is up there with the
Lord.

dancing on the devil's head. And what is
your daddy doing? What's your daddy

doing?

Okay, look. Really.

I'm not going to argue with you.

Once everything's cleared for us to go
inside, I will be back to collect my

residence.

Good day.

Thank you.

Excuse me. I don't want to be rude to a
lady. Well, hold this.

Brown Meadows is officially open. Y 'all
are welcome, welcome, welcome.

Right. Yes, you're welcome.

Hey, sugar, I just turned your sheets
down.

I'm the chocolate on the pillow.

She can't stay. She got to go.

Told you I can't do chocolate. I'm
diabetical.

So from now on, we don't clean our teeth
in the dishwasher, right?

Yeah. All right.

Woo! Okay, this place is insane.

I know.

Okay, let's get this over with.

Whoa, man!

What are you doing?

In the court, we always started with the
hernia check.

Step aside, son.

I want her to check my hernia.

Uh, sir, that won't be necessary. Just
have a seat. All we're doing is checking

your breathing and blood pressure. Make
sure you didn't inhale any smoke this

afternoon. Oh, smoke, smoke.

I tell you, I said in the hoot in the
name.

Covered with napalm head to toe.

Smoked two packs of cigarettes.

Now that was some smoke.

Got a pretty healthy pulse.

And now it's racing.

Sweetheart, can you come here a second?

Hey, babe, what's up?

Now it's racing again.

That's all, sweetie. We just wanted to
look at you one more time.

Love you.

You're just fine. Trust me. I understand
what you're going through. She does the

same thing to me all the time.

Yeah, son.

You're a lucky boy.

Thank you, sir.

What she need is a man.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey, sir, that's my
wife.

Uh, Sasha.

Carmen want to talk to you about
something. Hey, Sasha.

Wow, everyone's really filling in.

All that's missing is a bingo game.

Oh, Mr.

Brown, I was talking with some people
over at City Hall, and you will need to

get a license.

Why everybody keep asking me about a
license? I'm not driving nowhere. I

need no license.

I'm riding my bike. If we need to go
somewhere, we'll take a bus.

Right.

Well, why don't I get the process
started for you? Okay. How many people

accommodate? Oh, we can... I got rooms
everywhere. I got room here, room there,

there, room everywhere, room, room.

You remember how Nora put all them
people on the ark?

I can get that many people in here. Two
by two, let them come.

Oh, and that army man, let him sleep in
the garage. He crazy.

I'm a Marine, you maggot. I'll start
gouging it.

You don't want to do that.

Mr. Brown, I'm going to get this
started, and Sasha, I'm going to call

later. Okay, I'll walk you to the door.
You know that Marine guy, he crazy.

Is this the examination room?

I'm ready to be examined.

Yes, ma 'am. I'm the nurse.

That's my husband.

And I'll be doing your exam.

You're married?

Yes, ma 'am.

Are you happily married?

Yes, ma 'am.

In that case, I don't really need an
exam. I'm fine.

I'm going to keep both of y 'all.

I'm going to keep you.

And I'm going to keep him.

Because he got them big old ears. I want
him to see if he can fly.

Hey, Butterball.

Yeah, store it.

Or bring it over here.

Note to self.

Get rid of them off the island right
now.

Oh, y 'all just... Yes.

There he is. Come on, slap the cuffs on
him. For the last time, lady, I'm not a

cop.

Although I do like to dress up like one
from time to time.

But this isn't about me.

Are you Leroy Brown?

You can see me?

Yeah, I can see you, Mr. Brown.

Oh, me no speak it English.

Yo estoy the license committee.

I understand you're trying to open a
senior facility here, is that right?

Yes, yes.

No, no.

All these people are going to need to go
back to Miss Robinson's facility, all

right? You're going to have to get
certified before you can proceed.

Ha! That's right.

We're shutting you down, Brown.

What do you mean, shutting me down? I
just wanted to start a retirement home.

Mr. Brown, you're going to have to get
handicapped accessibility.

You're going to have to get more
bathrooms.

You're going to have to get a full -time
staff. Wait! Go down!

You've got to have a prune juice
dispenser.

I'm kidding about the prune juice,
folks.

Yeah, but you got to get all those other
things. The law is very clear about

that. That's right.

You're going to need all those things.

And since the fire is out, we'll be
going.

Come on, everyone. Time to go home. Come
on, people, quickly.

Move!

Not you two.

Ah, yes, these two. No, no, no, no, no,
no, no. You see, this one right here, he

likes to use the bathroom in my rose
bushes.

And this one right here.

She left a candle burning amongst her
lingerie and was the reason the fire

started in the first place.

They're both evicted.

Ta -da!

Wait! You can't just invite somebody
else to somebody else's house.

You.

You need to stay out of my way.

Stop saying words with H.

Got to burn my eyebrows out, girl.

What you been chewing on feet?

can't just invite somebody to somebody
else's house and have them to stay. That

man is about to eat me out of the house
at home.

Mr. Brown, you wanted some residents,
now you have two.

I didn't want them two. Why not them
two?

Because he crazy and she nasty.

Nasty? She is nasty, Cora.

Why would you say she's nasty? Because I
was coming out of my room and she had

went by the bathroom and Cora, I looked
up and she's standing in there just...

I'm out of the door.

Uh -oh.

Boys, bring in my luggage. The heat in
here is making my hair absolutely limp.

This is the retirement facility.

Cora, rich lady, watch this, watch this.

This is Brown Meadows. How can I help
you?

Who met you, Bree?

I'm Miss Daisy LaRue.

Oh, what up, fool?

The Miss Daisy LaRue of stage and
screen.

Kurt, is that one of the ladies from
Golden Girls?

I'd like to freshen up. Could you show
me to the penthouse?

Penthouse? We want to know. Uh -huh.

I'll show her to the penthouse.

She rich.

The penthouse.

Sweet. Sweet. Up there. Sweet.

Be a good boy, Brown.

And help the bellboys with my luggage.

Oh. But keep your eye on them.

Particularly the black one.

Mr. Branson.

Are you going to take that? Yes, I'm
going to take it. She got money.

I'll break her down like a fraction.

Okay, who are you?

We live in the frat house next door.

I think the sprinkles fell off that
lady's donut, you know?

Oh, okay. Well, take the luggage on up
there.

Hey, uh, black one.

I'm watching you.

You just got out of jail, didn't you?

How many people cornbread you steal?

Boss, I want some cornbread.

I'm about to go buy some old white lady
food, some rich white lady food, like

some crumpets or some Captain Crunch
head or something.

Mr. Brown, I want to talk to you about
this day in the room. We don't know

anything about her. Well, Cora, I just
want to keep her.

Mr. Brown, she's not a puppy.

We need to find out more about her.
Well, Cora, you don't know anything

them. You're letting them stay.

Well, I... That's right. You don't know
their real name. What's their real name?

Exactly. You don't know nothing. If they
can stay, she can stay.

She's mine.

Whose is whose?

Miss LaRue was due at my facility and
you stole her. Stole? Do you see a

white woman with red hair around here
anywhere?

Yes. She's right there.

Oh. Oh, her.

What is all the commotion?

Miss LaRue, I'm Robin Robinson, and the
taxi brought you here by mistake. Now,

my facility is just down the street. Why
don't you just come along with me? Come

on. No, you don't want to go down there.
Got mold and roaches and rats as big as

Brown.

Plus, she's a mean and evil witch.

The only reason why she threw me out is
because her husband slept with me.

And he keeps coming back for more.

Well, darling, there's been a change of
plan.

I have decided to stay here.

I like these people.

And if you have a problem with that, you
can call my agent.

Well, then, I'll just have to call the
inspector again.

Oh, I don't think you want to do that.

Out with all the violations at your
place.

Oh, please.

Move out of my way, Rambo.

You know if she call the inspector,
everybody gonna have to leave.

Yeah, but she won't do that.

Well, if she do, where you gonna go?

I don't know, bro. I don't have no
family.

I'm a widower.

You died?

No.

My wife died.

Just like half your brain.

What about you, Miss Edna? You have any
family?

Oh, no, sweetie.

And children?

None.

Here I am at 40 years old in this house.

Well, sweetheart, do you think a 65
-year -old woman could look like this?

Use your brain.

Well, you gotta admit, she do look good.

I'm surprised she don't have no kids.

Why would you say that?

Because she nasty.

Father, she is nasty.

Yeah, and I reckon nasty.

You and y 'all are such a nymph of
poverty acts.

Y 'all gonna turn brown metals into a
swinging club.

Brother, I got to take a shower. I feel
violated.

Well, Colonel, I guess we're gonna be
one big happy family.

Come here and stab you with this broom.

Oh, you ain't gonna stab nobody with no
broom.

I got two knives.

I'll take a bacon sandwich.

You want cheese with that?

No, cheese.

Cheese stopped me up. Well, that's why
they got prunes, Brown.

Prunes you stopped me up.

Well, it look like you need an enema.

I got a garden hose out back.