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You've got to admit that these chairs
are so much better.
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I miss the old chairs.
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Are you kidding me? I can see you.
You're like eye level now. Oh my god. I
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the levels though.
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Oh my god. These are so much better.
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I do like the pillows.
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Right? The cushy things? The cushy
things are really cushy. They're good.
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I like those.
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You did good, kid.
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You did good, kid.
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Hey, you know what?
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I'm thinking of becoming a slut.
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What? Yeah, like a hardcore nympho girl
just knows what she wants, you know?
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Okay, but, like, why?
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Okay, you know Brad.
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Oh, Brad, the server who always has the
toothpick in his mouth? Yes, yeah, yes,
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yes. Well, okay, to start it out, you
know that off -color shirt that he wears
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to work? Oh, my God, it looks like a
salmon dyed on a white shirt or
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Yeah, yeah.
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I had to ask him. I'm like, um, dude, is
that a laundry fuck up or did you buy
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it like that? Thank God someone called
him out on that. Good job.
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Yeah. And so like, um, uh, we started
talking about laundry and it just so
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happened that like we do laundry in the
same place.
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So you're like laundry buddy.
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Right. Wow.
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That's amazing.
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Okay. All right. Okay.
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But he's not picking up on it that I
kind of like him and stuff. Hmm. Hmm.
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So, I was thinking of being, like, just
straight up, no games, like, wanna fuck.
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Just saying it out loud, like, Brad,
wanna fuck?
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Right on!
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Okay, I'm totally on board with this!
Okay, so, like, when do you guys work
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together next? Or do laundry or
whatever?
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I don't know, but the thing is, I'm
thinking, like, what about my life,
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a slut? You know, then I'm gonna be a
slut, and people are gonna know about
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And, like, what are the ramifications of
being a slut?
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Oh, yeah.
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There's got to be rams to this, you
know? Like, how does a slut do life? You
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know, like, what are the damages?
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Yeah, like, what's their damage? What's
a slut's damage?
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I feel like we've got to, like, think
this through. We've got to, like,
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it like a scientific... Oh, we should
make a chart. Let's make a chart.
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Yeah, yeah. That's such a good idea.
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Yay! Oh, my God.
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All right, the pros and the cons.
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Of becoming a slut. Of becoming a slut.
This is genius.
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Awesome. Oh, I just thought of a pro.
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Getting laid.
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Getting laid. Well, yeah.
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Yeah. But like, not just like getting
laid, but getting laid like whenever you
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want. Whatever. Like, you don't have to.
I mean, you've got a book or something.
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You've got people lined up. You're a
slut. It's like a touch of a button.
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Whenever you want. So not just getting
laid, but getting laid whenever you
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Whenever. Or, like, getting to the top
of lines at, like, clubs and stuff like
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that. Oh, yeah. Like, if you're a slut,
you get treated, like, so well at a
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club. Yeah.
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Nightclub perks.
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The doormen, they just think she's down.
She's cool. Yeah. Get her.
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Perfect.
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That's a good pro. That's a really good
pro.
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Oh, yeah. Like, you're hot shit.
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In general, people perceive you as, oh,
she's hot. She's cool. You're desired by
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men. So being hot?
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Yeah.
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Yeah. These are great pros.
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Hang on, there's a con.
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What? Guys, you're sleazy.
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Once you're hot, you're always being
sleazed on.
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Oh, man.
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Yeah. You're so sleazy. Yeah, once
you're putting it out there like that.
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And you get, like, weirdos. Like, you
don't get to choose who you're
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Like, there's just, like, these, like,
weird man creatures that, like, surface.
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And you're like, how are you a person?
You're disgusting.
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Right. So, in a bad way. Bad way.
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Sleazy in a bad way. Okay, capital
letters.
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Oh, all caps.
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Yeah. Underlines. Yeah.
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So that's a bad con. Oh, and, like,
you're sort of disrespected. Like,
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don't respect you. You become, like, a
skank. Yep. Like, nobody cares what,
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like, a skank thinks. Yeah. You're just
skanking.
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Skankification.
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Skankification. Write that one down.
That's a con.
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But you know what? Not all... Not all
sluts are not respected. There are some
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sluts who make it all work, who people
love. There's going to be, like, some
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nice, famous sluts. Nice... Yeah. Night
slut.
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Marilyn Monroe.
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Wasn't she, like, a slut? Like, she
slept around Hollywood? Oh, yeah. No,
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Marilyn Monroe was, like, a total
hoebag.
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There you go. Like, a complete whore.
And the people loved her. Oh, yeah. She
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was nice. Everyone loved her. Everybody
loved her. We still love her, you know?
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So what makes that... She's dead.
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That's right. She's dead. Oh, God. I
can't believe I never thought of that.
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That's what it is. Once you die, it
legitimizes all that crazy shit that you
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in your life. Right. So being a dead
slut is legit.
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Yes. Oh, it's like the Van Gogh thing,
right? I mean, like, when he cut off his
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ears? Yes. Like, when he was alive, he
was, like, a total nutjob, but as soon
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he died, he was cool. Everyone was like,
oh, my God, what a genius. Like, we
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were wrong, you know? Yeah, we were
wrong. But, like, during his lifetime,
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they're like, oh, judgy, judgy, judgy.
So right.
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Man, I don't want you to have to die for
it to be okay for you to be a slut.
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That's crazy.
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I don't want to die. Don't die.
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No, I'm not going to die.
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Fuck it. I'm just going to be, like...
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Go up to Brad and just be like, wanna
fuck?
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Who cares?
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Yeah! Who cares?
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Slippery.
9280
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