All language subtitles for jpod_2008_s01e10_the_betty_and_veronica_syndrome

Previously on J -Pod. For those of you
who aren't already aware, I'm the new

executive appointed to oversee this J
-Pod.

Jim? Look, it's... Sarah!

You were always the best mom of any of
my boyfriends. And you, the best of all

Ethan's girlfriends.

Why do you have Steve's DNA?

Steve, we've come to bring you home. Cam
Fong kidnapped you? Got you addicted to

heroin? She made me a course. Sequence.
Hello, stranger.

Sarah.

Good morning, creepy head. I'm making
your favorite, toaster waffles.

Lots of yummy preservatives. Your corpse
shouldn't rot for years.

Not true.

Decomposition begins at the moment of
death as a result of autolysis.

The self -destruction of cells and the
breakdown of tissue by bacteria.

I love it when you talk like you're
still in med school.

Sarah, last night was amazing, but
there's something I have to tell you.

Girlfriend? Yeah. No, I mean, she's not
my girlfriend.

We're just friends right now, but her
name is Caitlin.

I'm not surprised. There's someone else.
You are a total catch.

All I want to know is that I've still
got a chance.

Steve.

The door was unlocked, man.

I was just wondering if you needed a
ride to work.

Steve, this is Sarah. She's, uh... I'm
his ex -girlfriend. All right.

Yeah, Steve. Steve's my boss. I work
with Steve. We work together.

That's where we're going. Yeah, we're
going to work.

I've got a big day ahead of me, too.

Do you mind if I crash it for a few
days? I'm between apartments.

Sure.

Hey.

You hit that?

Nice.

You're high, aren't you?

You're going to kill yourself with that
crap.

Thank you, Lisa Simpson.

Oh, did I hurt your feelings? Here, this
should cheer you up.

This is my wallet. How else am I
supposed to run a car?

Why would you use my car to rent a car?
Because my car is still in the police

impound, man. Look, you want a ride or
not, huh?

Come on, Casanova.

Well, they'd be shocked to see the
thieves back.

Once you get your old job back, Sprite
Quest is as good as dead.

All right, brother. You all right, man?

Alistair Steve. Steve?

Alistair. Alistair. Don't touch me,
infidel. Soon the sewage pipes will

rivers of your blood because I am the
living... ...murder.

And nothing will sway me from my path.
And there will be 70 celestial virgins

waiting on my beck and call.

And those girls will like me for me.

I'll have what he's having.

I can't believe Alistair tried to blow
up N .A. We're lucky he was better at

rock, paper, scissors than terrorism.

I thought they released him from Gitmo
because he wasn't linked to Al -Qaeda.

Maybe when he went in, but prison
changes, man.

So what happened? He was ranting about
sewage systems and rivers of blood.

And then Steve clicked what he thought
was his rental car's key fob and... Wow.

One second Alistair was standing there
and the next he's just an orange dust.

Where is Steve? He didn't fight it, did
he?

No, the cops are taking his statement.

Oh, good.

I can't wait to talk to him.

Cowboy said he's gone all nihilistic and
naked lunchy ever since he got addicted

to heroin. Just when he's high. He's
kind of like Steve McQueen. There's none

that emotion. There's a lot less of
that, like, I need my idea lab.

I still prefer the broken legs during a
Himalayan retreat extreme cuddling

accident story.

Are you okay?

Yeah, fine.

Mama.

How did you get that? Honestly, I'm
fine.

Okay.

Yeah, Mama.

Yes, when I die, you will get all of my
insurance money.

I'm all right, Mom.

Yeah, Ethan was there, but he's okay.

Hey, Pitt.

Yeah, intent is one way to describe it.

Hey, Mom, I'm fine.

We'll let you know. No, I was on the
other side of the park when Alistair

himself up. Oh, thank goodness. When we
heard the news on the radio, we were

just sick.

And why didn't you call us as soon as
you got home from China?

Mom, I was almost killed by a terrorist
today. Could you please cut me some

slack? Yeah, look, anyone else killed?

Steve? Anyone?

Hello, Dad.

You'll be happy to know that Steve is
blissfully unaware that you sold him

slavery. Oh, and he's a drug addict now.
You must be very proud.

Well, we're just so happy that you're
all right, son. Good. And you keep in

touch.

How is young Steven, then? All refreshed
from his expedition?

You could say he's a new man.

And you?

Any... News? Besides the suicide bomber?

You let Sarah into my apartment.

Don't be silly. I had Greg do it. Mom,
stay out of my apartment and my personal

life. Oh, Ethan, haven't you learned
anything from this? You have to have a

proper life, full of dates with nice
girls, or the terrorists have won.

Wow, this whole day has a real ding
-dong, the witch is dead kind of feel to

Tom, will you show some respect? The guy
just died.

Yeah, while trying to kill us.

I mean, that could have been me spotted
along the parking lot.

Could have been any of us.

It was almost you, Ethan.

Well, there's got to be something nice
we can say about Alistair.

Yeah, he was...

Kind of funny in a laugh -at -him -not
-with -him way, I guess.

You could say he died doing what he
loved.

What? He was a suicide bomber.

He always smelled like orange.

Kind of reminded me of Florida.

You know, his disintegration and some
experiences I had in China reminded me

that life is short.

The cancer cowboy must ride. And by
that, I mean have sex!

What happened to your death prophecy?

Yeah, weren't you supposed to die over
there in China?

Even as a ghost, my parents still
managed to let me down.

Now, if you'll excuse me, my knocking
and rocking website awaits me.

Okay, John Doe, um...

Let's go take advantage of the free
grief massages Annie has lined up for

You know, when something like this
happens, you really owe it to yourself

reevaluate things.

So, how about dinner?

I can't right now.

I'm too jet -lagged and freaked out
and...

I need to figure out what to do about
Steve, but... Brain check?

Of course.

Of course.

Steve.

Larry.

Glad to see someone around here is still
alive.

Sorry about your loss.

Don't worry.

Neotronic stock survived 9 -11, survived
this. I was referring to your cousin,

Alistair.

Ah, yes, thanks.

Alistair was a complex person.

I take comfort in knowing that he didn't
suffer.

I expect you want your old job back,
with a raise.

Stockholders hate executives who think
they're on debt and disappear.

No, but they love executives who keep
their offices from blowing up.

Alistair didn't keep any documentation
on Sprite, Quack.

Everything was in his head.

Care to run with it?

What about Vortex?

Do whichever one makes the company the
most money.

You're the weird kid.

Snore. Bree, who keeps calling you?
Nobody.

Ignore.

It's my mother.

You should talk to her. She's probably
heard about the explosion. She's

No, my mother does not worry. She goes
straight from shock to anger. Ugh,

Talk to her.

Hi, Mom.

Yes, I'm a bad daughter for making you
worry.

Ow, yeah, I slapped my own wrist.

Ow. Okay, so if there's nothing else,
I'll, uh... Well, this isn't really a

good week for lunch.

Okay,

I can't wait to see you two.

Yay.

Thanks a lot, Junie.

Lunch with your mother? I can't wait to
meet her.

Being this close to death has made me
realize the importance of family.

What is it?

You just made me vomit in my mouth.

Now I've swallowed it, I'm going to have
to vomit again.

Postures.

Huddle up, please.

Everyone, take a hand.

Crazy morning.

Life.

Death, agony, ecstasy. I just wanted to
say that I'm glad to see that you're all

safe and alive, ready to get back to
work.

Welcome back, Chief.

How was China?

China was, well, you'd know, Brie, it
was a revelation.

I learned a little bit about the world,
a little bit about myself.

Any announcements, Steve?

Yes.

It's just upstairs with the suit.

Sprite Quest is as good as... Released!

What? I'm fast -tracking it.

But Alistair already fast -tracked it.

Well, then we're going to faster -track
it.

Sprite Quest is a solid premise with
mega potential, not to mention the built

-in buzz around the newsworthy death of
its creator. I mean, the freak value

alone will sell 100 ,000 units. It just
needs a little bit more... Turtle.

Steve, you promised you'd kill Sprite
Quest.

Well, we all say things in the heat of
the moment. Ethan, like your ex

-girlfriend this morning, remember? The
one who was sucking your face right off

your skull? I mean, does she really
think she's got a chance of getting you

back, huh?

Casanova?

Excuse me.

Okay, well, back to work then, everyone.

Caitlin?

Caitlin, wait.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

I'm so happy for you.

Don't you think?

Sarah's just an old ex -girlfriend.

Yeah, I do wish I hadn't heard it from
Steve.

Yeah, no.

I appreciate your coming to China to get
me, but I can't just kill Sprite Quest

as a favor to you. I don't care about
the game, Steve. It's the peril. I can

quit anytime I want.

Oh, yeah? Yeah. Whatever happened to the
power now?

You're absolutely right.

This is me quitting heroin.

You're a good friend. I won't forget
this.

By the way, I'll need the new
SpriteQuest demo by the end of the week.

Sarah,

this isn't going to work.

Why do you go out of your way to make
yourself unhappy?

I'm not trying to make myself unhappy.

Ethan, I can read you like a book.

You're feeling guilty about being with
me because you like this Caitlin girl,

aren't you?

No. My mother wants us to get back
together so she can get grandchildren.

She just wants you to be happy.

She knows that when we were together,
you were very happy.

That's making me pretty happy.

Let's stop talking.

Steve, don't hold out on me, man. Don't
hold out on me, all right? Where's my

rig? Where is it? Where is it? You're
quitting, remember?

Stop working out so well, all right?

You just want cash, Ethan, okay? They
want cash. Only I can't use mine because

the X's lawyers will find out about it.
They shouldn't have to use my own money

because I have my own snacks.

Only you won't give it to me. Steve, you
need rehab.

What, are you kidding? Are you kidding?
What, and risk losing custody of Connor?

Uh -uh, Ethan. The X's lawyers would
have a field day to find out I'm in

Whoa, rehab.

I can't do that. They're going to find
out sooner or later.

They always do.

Steve, look at you. You're a junkie.

I am an opium voyager.

Damn it, Steve, cut it out.

I don't want you to die.

Okay, unless Steve is ready to admit
that he has an addiction, our hands are

tied.

We'll find another way.

I can't believe you gave Steve heroin.

You saw him.

Cold turkey wasn't working.

He was climbing the walls with his
teeth.

He needed it.

And he'll need even more of it.

I wouldn't even know where to get it.

Ethan, don't be so middle class.

How is feeding his habit going to help
him?

We'll give Steve a dose every eight
hours, then every nine, every ten, and

until we work him up to a single dose a
day.

Then we'll reduce the amount of heroin
per dose.

It can take up to a year, but it works.

We do the same process when I work with
drug addicts in South America.

I didn't know you worked with drug
addicts in South America.

There's a lot that you don't know about
South America.

A year, huh?

How does that sound to you, Steve?

This is cash for us.

I'll take that as a yes.

Then we're set.

Found the perfect place to take your
mother for lunch. Poo King.

It's supposed to be the best value in
town.

Do you have a discount coupon?

Uh, no. Well, the restaurant has to
offer a discount coupon or my mother

go.

Okay, I'll...

Find a fucking coupon.

Mm -hmm.

Nice.

And the use of Dwight the Turtle as a
punching bag is a not -so -subtle screw

-you to Steve.

So how's Steve, anyway?

Right now, he's high.

What? I thought you were going to help
him quit.

We're trying to weed him off.

We?

Me and Sarah.

Giving drugs to someone who's trying to
quit.

Isn't that like giving an anvil to
someone who's drowning?

We're keeping an eye on him.

Sure you are.

Jim? Yeah?

Look who dropped in to see us.

Steve. Hey, Jim.

What are you doing here?

Well, Jim, Carol, after what happened at
N .A. yesterday, I couldn't help but

think, what if that was me? What if I'd
have been blown up?

I was thinking that myself.

I'll tell you, I realized something,
Jim. I realized that I don't want to die

without a clean conscience.

Oh, Stephen, everyone has secrets. We
don't need to hear yours.

Carol, when we first met, I was new in
town.

My marriage was in ruins. I was lonely.

You were nice to me, and I tried to take
advantage of you.

All right, Steven.

Um, too much truth flying around, so I'm
going to lose it tonight.

Jim, that voiceover job that I gave you,
I only did that to get you out of the

house so that I might spend some time
with your wife. Oh, well, who could

you? Carol's a wonderful woman. That's
why I married her. That's why he married

me.

I have spent a lot of time re
-evaluating my life.

I don't like the old Steve.

And as far as I'm concerned, he's dead.

Good riddance.

Jim, I've taken up enough of your time.

Yes, you have. Thank you.

Carol.

Just kidding.

Thank goodness.

Looks like

Steven

has finally gotten his act together.

What a relief.

Hey, what is it, sweetie? Is everything
okay?

Are we doing the right thing?

You want to be on top?

Caitlin said something today.

She compared giving heroin to Steve with
giving an animal to a drowning man.

Well, if she has another idea, I'm all
for it.

Steve,

you're not getting any more smack until
tomorrow.

Caitlin. What was that today?

Between us?

Some weirdness.

I don't want us to be weird.

Me neither.

I'm Ethan.

Clearly interrupting your evening.

Hi.

I'm Caitlin.

You're the Caitlin that Ethan is always
talking about.

Guilty as charged.

I didn't realize you were staying here
with Ethan. It's only temporary.

But when you have the kind of history
that we have, it doesn't take long to

back into old patterns.

Oh!

I am so glad to see that Ethan is
expanding his horizons.

When we first dated, he didn't have any
female friends.

Friends?

Yeah.

Nice to meet you, Sarah.

I'm going to go. Hey, do you want to
grab a bubble tea? There's a really

place just around the corner. Unless
this is too weird for you.

Let's go.

Why don't I come along?

I've been cooped up with you too much
the last couple of days. I need some

time.

I am totally going to steal that shirt.
Where did you get it?

Well, I can honestly say that I have
never tried that.

Nylon or pleather?

Cowboy.

Gotta go.

I need you to be my boyfriend.

Flattered, but I make the rule never to
pill another man's soil.

Okay, here's the deal. If I scare my
mother with the most horrific boyfriend

imaginable, she might finally give up on
me and leave me alone.

Why not use your real boyfriend?

One, John Doe is not my boyfriend.

And two, John Doe would not have the
same effect on Winnie that you would.

Thanks, Bree.

I hope I can live down to your
expectations.

Trust me.

When Winnie meets you, she will have no
idea what hit her. You're taking cowboy

instead of me?

Hey, relax, buddy. I'm going to be the
boyfriend from hell. I can be the

boyfriend from hell. Well, John Doe, you
can't be a rude, selfish, mildly racist

bastard. Well, I could if you gave me a
chance, you oriental person.

John Doe, please.

Come on.

Doing this for us.

Found your Fooking coupon.

15 % off.

Someone keeping you up late?

Hey, you can't just show up at work like
this. What if I was in a meeting? What

makes you think I'm here to see you?

Ready?

Hey, uh...

I don't think I'm comfortable with you
and Caitlin hanging out. Why?

Because you liked her?

Yeah, I guess.

But she's also your friend.

And if she's a friend of yours, that
makes her a friend of mine, right?

Yeah.

Bye!

Great.

Sarah's going out for lunch with
Caitlin.

Mm -hmm. And that's not good because...
Because it's weird being in the same

room as both of them. Not if you add
nudity into the mix.

Ethan, this is so straightforward. What
you've got is Betty and Veronica

syndrome. The inability to choose
between two women who are friends.

I do not.

Fortunately, there is a very simple
cure.

You choose one or the other, and poof,
the problem is solved.

Uh, aren't you going to get in trouble
for being gone so long? The number of

lunches I've worked through, they owe me
a month off. Hmm.

Although it is getting kind of late, I
should get back.

Do you want to get high first?

Uh, no. No, thanks.

You don't know what you're missing.

Harold's dope is medical grade.

You get drugs from Ethan's mom?

What?

Ethan hasn't set you up yet?

Uh, Ethan doesn't do drugs, Sarah.

There's a lot about Ethan that you don't
know.

Like, it takes him a long time to get
comfortable around someone.

We dated for a year before he walked
around naked in front of me.

Yeah, that's great.

I'm going to go, Sarah.

See you later.

Ethan, I need to become a bad boy.

You're asking the wrong guy for help,
man. You've got two women on the hook.

Let's try the other way around.

I thought when I got back from China,
things with Kate would finally, you

but Sarah.

Man, I always wondered what my life
would be like if she hadn't dumped me.

What do you think?

I'm not the guy who makes the choices,
man. I'm the guy who gets chosen.

That's why I need your help.

Well, if you want to become a bad boy,
you need to talk to Cowboy.

Besides him, who would you recommend?

The baddest dude I know is Cam Farr.

You're right. He'd be perfect.

Hello? Hello, Ethan. How are things?

Bad bet.

Hey, well, to be honest, we think things
could be better. Maybe you can help me.

How do you usually make a choice? Flip a
coin?

Eeny, meeny, miny, moe?

Depends on the choice.

Chocolate or vanilla?

Paper or plastic?

Betty or Veronica.

I see.

Ethan. According to the Young Myers
-Briggs personality tests, there are

different personalities.

On a planet with 6 billion people, you
have about 375 million soulmates to

choose from. Oh, that's not so many.

Very funny. My point is, why limit
yourself to what's behind door number

door number two?

There's always door number three.

hey see you in eight hours probably not
i get the feeling that my visit with

connor is gonna wear me out connor today
apparently stopping a terrorist really

greases the wheels with family court oh
listen don't worry about the sprite

quest demo okay we can put that on the
back burner remember you can always

revise the schedule at any time steve
steve you can't take that gotta go back

work you can't take that before you see
your son

So, young friend of Ethan Jarlowski, now
you need my assistance.

Yeah, I need to piss off my Chinese
girlfriend's mother tomorrow at lunch.

Because? I need to make her know that
she's dealing with a tough guy, not a

wuss. There is no enemy more formidable
than a Chinese matriarch.

And I have had many enemies.

I will help you, John Doe, before price.

Do not insult me.

Thank you, Mr. Pond. I really appreciate
this.

And now, we will retire to my favorite
karaoke bar, where I'm shooting cover

for my Masterpone Theater DVD cases.

Why would we want to... Driver!

So, when you meet her, you have to give
Winnie a really big hug, because she

hates over -familiarity from strangers.

Also, don't wait for her to invite you
to eat. Just dig in.

Okay.

Use your chopsticks as drumsticks. Yeah,
that's really rude.

And, oh, when you're finished eating,
just jam your chopsticks straight into a

piece of food. That way you basically
summon the devil.

Jam it in the devil. Got it. Now, Kit,
what do you think of...

this attire?

Eh, a bit too crazy hobo. How about you
do...

No. Brie, I would do a lot of things.
Short shorts is not one of them.

There.

Yeah, okay. But you look better with
short hair.

I will not wear a bath.

You need facial hair.

There.

Classic cowboy.

Why mess with the formula?

Because. Perfect.

Ethan Jalewski for Steve Lefkowitz,
please.

Yes, again.

Yes, it's urgent. That's why I keep
voting.

How was lunch? Very enlightening.

Steve, it's Ethan again.

Still waiting for that phone call.
Ethan, I'm sure he's all right.

Not Steve I'm worried about.

No, Stephen seemed fine when he was here
the other night.

So polite, such good spirits. I think
that cuddling retreat really did wonders

for him.

Yeah, for once he wasn't bouncing all
over the place like some potty -training

poodle. That's because he was high.

He was high when he came over here, and
he's high right now with his son.

Young Stephen is experimenting with
drugs?

Ethan, I hope he's not pressuring you to
try any.

Now, remember, kids, drugs aren't cool.

You got addicted to heroin in China,
Dad.

The Steve that came over here last
night, he's not the guy you knew.

No, he really wasn't.

We're trying to help him kick his habit.

But it takes time.

We're only making it worse. That's it.
I'm done. I'm not giving Steve any more

heroin. No, you're only going to make
things worse if you cut him off. I know

what I'm talking about.

Yeah, don't squabble.

Ethan, if heroin keeps...

Steven, even keeled. You can't just cut
him off.

It's rude.

You can't be serious.

I mean, it's going to kill him.

Don't be melodramatic, Ethan.

History is full of high -functioning
heroin addicts. Billie Holiday, William

Burroughs, Kurt Cobain.

I'm sold.

You know, if it's a matter of money, our
friend Cam Fong, he could probably come

up with some primo heroin at a very
reasonable price.

Really? Yeah, he's like a member of the
family.

You want me to make that call?

No, Dad, I don't.

Steve, is that a critical juncture? If
you cut off his supply now, who knows

what he's going to do?

Where's your humanity?

Ethan, what has happened to your value
system?

Jim, make that call.

Here's a chance where we can finally
help make a difference.

Right on, Carol.

Mr. Fong, I've been singing and singing
and singing for a long time now,

and I'm sure your crew would like to get
back to work. When are you going to

help me? Do you not remember Mr.

Miyagi in the hit film, The Karate Kid?
I am training you through karaoke.

Karaoke? Track on, track off.

What was the title of the first song I
had you sing?

Uh... Disc 3, track 4. Uh, ZZ Top, Sharp
Dressed Man.

Every girl's crazy about a sharp
-dressed man.

And disc 7, track 12.

Uh, N .W .A., Gangsta, Gangsta. Life
ain't nothing but bitches and money.

Disc 23, track 6.

Uh, Jim Crotty, Bad, Bad Leroy Brown.

Baddest man in the whole damn town.

I see the truth of it.

Every song you have sung has been to
teach you the ways of masculine

independence.

For my payment.

Disc 9, track 15.

Madonna spoke?

Surely to God. No, he... Oh, you're
serious?

Right.

What's that?

What, uh... Speak.

Hey, Cam, Jim.

Jim, what can I do for you? A person
wanted to get some, you know...

Heroin. Just hypothetically, what would
that cost?

Is this for our well -traveled
acquaintance, Mr. Lefkowitz?

It shall be supplied, free of charge.

Oh, Kim, you're a prince.

Strike a pose.

That tastes much better going down than
coming up.

Oh, baby, you're so wacky. How long have
you been seeing this man, Brianna?

We hooked up about a month ago after
they dropped the charges.

The witness recanted.

I was talking to my daughter.

Don't be so uptight, Winnie.

Your father was wise not to come.

You bring shame upon our family.

Yum.

Salted fish.

I'm Bree's other white meat.

You have two boyfriends? No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

These are just friends from work, and we
were pulling a prank.

Surprise! Surprise!

Bree, you big kidder.

We're okay with the fact you're more
than one man can handle. See, Cowboy and

worked out a schedule. He gets the days,
I rock the nights.

What? Oh, Bree, Bree, where are you
going? Stay!

Why does Brianna persist in playing
these games?

Maybe because she's tired of your
judgment. I am her mother. It is my duty

judge her.

And when she is a mother, the cycle of
judgment will continue.

10 % off.

15 % off.

You may not be such a waste of skin.

You, however, are irredeemable.

Yeah, that's part of my charm.

What have I done?

Hey, don't sweat it, bro. Have some of
that.

Oh, cowboy, don't go reading fortune
cookies when you're tucked up. You'll

it too seriously. It'll be a disaster
like always.

You will nurture new life. Yeah.

You will nurture new life.

Nurture new life.

I don't want your flowers, John Doe. You
just tried to convince my mother I was

a slut.

Isn't that what you wanted?

No.

I want my mother to think that I have
bad taste in men. There's a big

difference.

Yeah, but I was a bad boyfriend, wasn't
I?

Look.

I've never wanted to introduce anyone to
my family before, but after the big...

I've realized that I might possibly want
to consider introducing you

to them.

And I kind of actually maybe like that
idea.

But I wrecked that.

Oh, well, don't worry.

You all look the same to her anyway. We
can try again next month.

It's true. True, you're doing drugs.

Is there anything else I don't know
about you? Relax.

It's a repeat. Sarah just dropped it
off.

Is there anyone in your life who isn't
on drugs?

Cowboy does cough syrup.

My mother has a boutique grow -up, but I
think baby aspirin's about as harsh as

she gets.

Then why was Sarah trying to get me high
yesterday?

What? Sarah doesn't do drugs.

You do like to keep your laws.

What else did Sarah say?

Sarah! What the hell?

Hey!

Do you know what the street value of
this is?

We'll be rich.

We.

I do love you, Ethan.

Although, You should know that I can't
have children.

When I was a drug mule in South America,
I had a condom of heroin explode in my

vagina.

So there's no baby through there.

Unless I steal one.

Would you make me the happiest woman on
earth and steal a baby with me?

You had drugs up your...

Why? Because my stomach wouldn't hold
anymore.

I can't believe you're an addict.

Wow,

Ethan.

You sound like that Wendy Whitebread you
work with.

Goodbye, Sarah.

Trigger treat.

Smell my feet.

Give me my damn heroin.

Hey, Ethan.

Ethan.

Time to feed the monkey.

Hey, I hope you enjoy working weekends
for the rest of your life, you selfish

little... Steve, upstairs.

What the hell is this?

Steve, this is your intervention.

Take a seat.

Okay.

Steve.

You're putting your job and your
relationship with your son and your life

line because you refuse to accept that
you're a junkie. I am not a junkie. Yes,

you are. The drugs control you. You
don't control the drugs. No, sorry. Beg

differ, okay? Ask Sarah. Okay, her plan
is working. Steve, Sarah's a junkie too.

What do you mean Sarah's a junkie? Mom,
we're here for Steve right now, okay?

Yeah, well, you know what? Chat amongst
yourselves, okay? Because Steve -o is

done -o.

Everybody gets a chance to speak.

Mom, go ahead.

Stephen.

When you came over the other day to
apologize, you were polite, friendly,

huggy as usual.

And you were hot, Stephen.

Don't try to tell me you weren't.

Sarah cannot be a junkie. That's the
most ridiculous thing I ever heard.

Later, okay?

John Doe?

So I don't really know you that well,
Steve, I admit. But the past few days,

have been...

Less of a complete social reject.

It's true.

The thief that Ethan and I rescued from
China was actually kind of cool.

What was wrong with me before? I was a
nice guy before. You guys liked me.

Caitlin, you liked me before I went to
China, right? Tell him, tell him. My

used to say that if I didn't have
anything nice...

to say about a person. I just shouldn't
say anything at all.

Or go home with them.

So make up your mind, Steve.

Either become a high -functioning heroin
addict or quit.

But stop wasting our time.

Life's too short.

Can you do it, Steven? Can you use drugs
responsibly?

Man, for a second there, I thought you
were going to quit.

It's fucking ridiculous. I don't need
the drugs. I want

the drugs.

Damn straight, it was nice of your
friends to score that bag of horse, too.

Wasn't it?

Can I get a taste?

Hell yeah.

Time to chase the dragon.

Go to town.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh,

God.

Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh,

God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.
Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God. Oh, God.

Wow.

All those lies Sarah told me about you
just to make me lose interest in you.

Issues. Yeah.

Gee, such a Veronica.

You know what? That makes me a Betty.

Okay. Bad analogy.

Bad.

Wait, did you say make you lose
interest?

Maybe.

Can I pick you up on that dinner?

Sure.

Not today.

What? Get back here.

Caitlin Joyce, nobody's Betty.

When she leaves,

she's just asking to be followed.

When she walks out, all she wanted to
be.

My poor thing, she's just asking for it.

And I ain't saying nothing.

She couldn't care less.

Oh, wearing that dress.

Pretty little thing No, no Hot little
thing

Hot little thing who knows it

Don't suppose it would be cool if we
hung out