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Previously on J -Pod. J -Pod's actually
the best of all worlds. Play your cards
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00:00:05,060 --> 00:00:06,900
right, you can do as much or as little
work as you want.
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00:00:07,120 --> 00:00:08,120
Who's J -Pod?
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00:00:08,440 --> 00:00:11,620
If you have to ask, you don't want to
know, trust me. You're a ballroomer?
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00:00:11,900 --> 00:00:13,060
Nothing compared to you.
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00:00:13,300 --> 00:00:14,300
Hello, girl.
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Stephen. Girl, when can I see you?
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This fixation on my mother's getting a
little spooky, Stephen. I've never been
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willing to do anything for someone. When
I look into your eyes, I see the woman
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00:00:23,300 --> 00:00:24,218
I loved.
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Come back.
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Kevin is a feeder.
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00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:27,860
Good to go, Ethan.
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Greetings, comrades.
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00:00:37,980 --> 00:00:39,640
Yes, it's true.
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Your favorite little girl is finally 29.
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And I hope you remembered.
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Let the gift -giving begin.
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00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,440
Seriously, I expect greatness from you
guys.
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00:00:55,760 --> 00:01:00,000
There's a board exit window open on your
computer, Bree. Click it. See what the
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birthday pixie brought you.
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My, what an attractive and intelligent
-looking character she is. Hey, isn't
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00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:12,700
that a burger franchise that also caters
to kids' birthdays?
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Hey, is this a video birthday card?
Morning, everybody.
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Come over. Do you want to see this?
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00:01:27,760 --> 00:01:29,180
Something good could happen, see?
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00:01:29,740 --> 00:01:30,740
Wait a sec.
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00:01:34,840 --> 00:01:38,480
Finally, some real beef at the Charlie
Burger.
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You guys are just packing.
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I love it. Beautiful.
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I know they're just electrons, but
they're hot.
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Think that's all we programmed?
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There you go.
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I love my video cards. Thank you.
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Thank you.
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And you.
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00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:18,340
And... Caitlin would have helped, but we
came up with the idea after she left
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for night school.
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00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:21,640
I've got a great birthday present for
you.
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00:02:21,900 --> 00:02:22,900
It's not scary.
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00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,960
I don't remember seeing a Porsche up
there.
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00:02:31,180 --> 00:02:32,860
Hello? Nathan.
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00:02:34,510 --> 00:02:38,110
Sexually explicit photos of your father
having a gay, torrid love affair with
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00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,370
that Chinese mafia kingpin he danced
with.
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00:02:40,870 --> 00:02:41,870
Mom.
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00:02:42,150 --> 00:02:43,150
Mom,
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Cam Fong is like the biggest ladies' man
on the planet.
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He and Dad just like to ballroom dance
together as far as it goes.
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00:02:50,530 --> 00:02:56,350
And things have been going so well
between us lately, too. Mom, Dad is not
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00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,950
having a torrid gay affair with a
Chinese mafia kingpin.
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00:03:00,830 --> 00:03:02,110
Oh, no. I have to go.
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00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:06,720
You can't bring that in here. What are
you talking about?
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The one thing I got from my relationship
with the clown is the ability to twist
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whimsical novelty balloons into minidog
shapes.
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00:03:16,380 --> 00:03:19,700
Aw, are you afraid Bree's gonna like my
present better than yours?
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00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:23,640
It's not that. You don't understand. You
can't bring helium in J -Pod.
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00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:40,080
Like your predecessor here, Evil Mark,
he brought in helium once as well.
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Evil Mark!
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00:03:41,560 --> 00:03:45,220
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark! Mark!
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00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,100
Okay, get up.
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00:04:09,060 --> 00:04:15,580
He died of helium -induced hypoxia.
Right there,
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where you're standing.
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00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:23,320
Well, I tried.
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00:05:02,810 --> 00:05:06,010
Caitlin. We should have told you how
evil Mark died. This never would have
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00:05:06,010 --> 00:05:09,690
happened at Apple. Who dies inhaling
helium? You people are aliens.
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00:05:10,270 --> 00:05:11,990
Let me help you with that. Oh, I am
fine.
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00:05:13,850 --> 00:05:15,550
Hurry back. There's cake in the lounge.
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00:05:16,890 --> 00:05:18,130
I'm not trying to feed you.
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00:05:24,670 --> 00:05:26,470
Ethan's in this building. Yeah, right
below.
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00:05:26,690 --> 00:05:28,830
Same layout, too, except for the spare
bedroom.
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00:05:29,180 --> 00:05:33,020
1 ,200 square feet, but with your player
in style, it'll feel like 1 ,500 easy.
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00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:35,660
That's nice.
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00:05:35,840 --> 00:05:38,520
Well, the place is available if you want
to move in now.
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00:05:41,380 --> 00:05:46,900
I like it. It's got a room down the hall
here for when I get sole custody of my
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00:05:46,900 --> 00:05:47,759
son Connor.
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00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:52,620
Yeah, and if you need help moving, Ethan
will help you. He takes care of the
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place for me. That's why I let him live
here rent -free.
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00:05:54,680 --> 00:05:55,680
Oh.
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00:06:00,380 --> 00:06:01,620
Mom? Greg, I'm worried sick.
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00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:05,500
I was gathering laundry, and I found
sexually explicit photos of your father
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00:06:05,500 --> 00:06:09,100
having a gay torrid love affair with
that Chinese mafia kingpin he dances
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00:06:09,300 --> 00:06:12,020
Mom, Dad is not phoning Kampong.
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00:06:12,660 --> 00:06:13,840
Hang on, that's my other cell ring.
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00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,040
Your cougar line?
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00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,880
Can't you date a woman under the age of
40? Is wanting grandchildren such a
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00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:20,660
crime? Yeah, look, I'm giving you the
feed, Mom.
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00:06:20,900 --> 00:06:22,080
Hey, baby, guess what I'm doing?
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00:06:22,340 --> 00:06:25,520
Yeah, I'm showing that condo you and me
made all our little movies in.
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00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:28,320
I'd be into it, but there's another guy
here. It's kind of awkward.
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00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:30,420
Carol?
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00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,420
Hello, Stephen. Carol, I think I found
my new condo.
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00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:38,860
It's got a peek -a -boo view of English
Bay, and there's a decent -sized bedroom
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00:06:38,860 --> 00:06:42,160
for Connor far, far away from the master
bedroom. And best of all, Carol, it's
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00:06:42,160 --> 00:06:45,460
right above Ethan's. Can you believe
that? We'll be just like a family.
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00:06:46,560 --> 00:06:47,560
How interesting.
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00:06:47,800 --> 00:06:51,240
I need you to help me decorate, Carol. I
need you to give me some of that Carol
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magic.
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00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:56,840
Stephen, decorating is something you
need to do for yourself.
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00:06:57,100 --> 00:06:58,740
It's your start -over space.
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Please. No!
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00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:07,480
This is an oasis from the conflict of
your former life.
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00:07:07,780 --> 00:07:10,200
I need that. I need that, Carol. I need
an oasis.
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00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:15,240
And I need to get back to my computer. A
man in Nigeria emailed me. He needs
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00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:16,320
help with a banking task.
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00:07:17,580 --> 00:07:18,960
Be creative. Be fresh.
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Be Stephen.
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00:07:31,650 --> 00:07:32,650
Connor?
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Connor, I'm home.
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00:07:37,110 --> 00:07:38,110
Hey, buddy.
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I got you the most amazing birthday
present.
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00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:47,030
Connor?
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00:07:51,310 --> 00:07:52,310
Did you?
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00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:57,990
I'll take it.
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00:08:04,490 --> 00:08:05,490
Are you nuts?
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00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:06,910
Why are you coming at me with a knife?
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00:08:07,870 --> 00:08:11,230
We're trying to see if there's any way
to carry a large knife across the room
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00:08:11,230 --> 00:08:12,230
without looking psycho.
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00:08:12,630 --> 00:08:13,630
And?
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It's impossible.
120
00:08:15,430 --> 00:08:16,430
Want to try?
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00:08:18,830 --> 00:08:22,230
Where is she who shall not be named in
her helium death tape?
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00:08:23,050 --> 00:08:24,130
Get rid of the evidence.
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00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:27,850
And look, guys, I know she's only been
here a few weeks, but let's go easy on
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00:08:27,850 --> 00:08:28,850
her.
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00:08:28,970 --> 00:08:31,230
Ethan, why don't you just tell her how
you feel?
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00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:35,380
Yeah. Surprise her at the prom during
the slow dance.
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00:08:35,620 --> 00:08:38,860
Yeah, I'm Molly Ringwald. I wish Judd
Nelson and or Rob Lowe would just tell
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00:08:38,860 --> 00:08:40,380
how they felt about me. Yeah.
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00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:41,900
Roger!
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00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:56,100
This is... Bree, it's your birthday?
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00:08:56,540 --> 00:08:58,740
Yeah, the guys made it for me.
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00:08:58,960 --> 00:08:59,960
Happy birthday.
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00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:02,970
Thanks. For he's a jolly good fellow,
why not just use the birthday song?
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00:09:03,610 --> 00:09:04,589
Copyright issue.
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00:09:04,590 --> 00:09:08,030
The old lady who owns the song wants
something like $100 million of pop to
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00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:11,370
it. It's insane. She's like the most
vicious copyright enforcer on the
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00:09:11,750 --> 00:09:16,050
I want the birthday song embedded into
Bordex for my son Connor. His birthday's
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00:09:16,050 --> 00:09:18,750
coming up, too. This card will be my
secret message to him.
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00:09:19,250 --> 00:09:21,870
Yeah, but Steve, John Doe just said it
was a fortune.
140
00:09:22,110 --> 00:09:23,110
Yeah, so?
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00:09:23,570 --> 00:09:25,410
All that money just for a secret
message?
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00:09:26,130 --> 00:09:27,130
Swing a deal.
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00:09:27,730 --> 00:09:29,030
Okay, podsters, gotta go.
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00:09:29,450 --> 00:09:30,450
Remember...
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00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:35,040
Joy, mirth, laughter, child's love. Oh,
and Ethan. Yeah?
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00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:37,140
I bought the condo upstairs from you.
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00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:40,600
What? Greg sold it to me. We're
neighbors.
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00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:53,060
Carol, I just want to spend the day
hanging out with Cam Fong.
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00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,700
Hanging? What's hanging?
150
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,760
Is that a new slang for something
unspeakable?
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00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,820
You know, you are so paranoid.
152
00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,120
Honey, I've made a blueberry crumble.
153
00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:05,200
It's in the oven. It's ready in minutes.
154
00:10:05,660 --> 00:10:06,820
Oh, that sounds great.
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00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:08,280
I gotta go.
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00:10:09,020 --> 00:10:10,860
I made a rose water whipped cream.
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00:10:14,060 --> 00:10:16,080
Dinner is at 7 .30.
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00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:22,240
Jim, I think you're pussy whipped.
159
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:25,640
No, I'm not pussy whipped.
160
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:29,460
But guys who are, how do they do it?
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00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,940
Simple. Get another wife or two.
162
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:34,640
My father had four.
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00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,060
He was divorced that many times?
164
00:10:37,440 --> 00:10:40,200
No, he simply had four wives at the same
time.
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00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:45,080
If he was in the doghouse with one, he
was fine with three others. It is a
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00:10:45,080 --> 00:10:46,080
terrific system.
167
00:10:48,860 --> 00:10:50,420
I think you need cheering up.
168
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,300
I have an idea.
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00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:56,280
You are going to give yourself a throat
holiday.
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00:10:58,160 --> 00:10:59,160
Driver.
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00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:06,520
Having a bad moment, Bree?
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00:11:09,400 --> 00:11:13,400
Yeah, well, my birthday card and it's
being corrupted by Steve.
173
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:17,240
Well, for what it's worth, we all love
you.
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00:11:18,620 --> 00:11:19,860
Thank you, John Doe.
175
00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,040
Well, pay it forward, Bree.
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00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:27,020
That is the stupidest expression ever
invented.
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00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,060
Caitlin Joyce from Neotronic Arts.
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00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:36,160
I'm calling to discuss licensing the
birthday song.
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00:11:36,620 --> 00:11:38,520
If someone would please call me back.
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00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:41,960
Hey,
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00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:48,180
everybody having a good time here?
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00:11:48,460 --> 00:11:50,020
Right? Thank you.
183
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,380
Yes, yes. That was an old classic.
184
00:11:52,580 --> 00:11:54,460
Like my friend Camp Pong here.
185
00:11:55,370 --> 00:11:59,490
Uh, make sure you don't miss out on
those Roman Gatorade shots the girls are
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00:11:59,490 --> 00:12:03,630
circulating with, and I still have a
karaoke sign -up sheet, okay? Lots of
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00:12:03,630 --> 00:12:04,710
left there. Hey!
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00:12:05,810 --> 00:12:06,810
Cam Fong.
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00:12:07,330 --> 00:12:08,670
Who are all these people?
190
00:12:08,950 --> 00:12:11,350
What the hell are you doing in my
apartment?
191
00:12:11,590 --> 00:12:14,070
Ethan, no need to have a hissy fit here.
192
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:18,870
Cam Fong's favorite karaoke room is
being fumigated, so we thought.
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00:12:19,410 --> 00:12:24,030
Dad, this is my friggin' apartment, and
you've turned it into a drunken hazing
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00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:25,030
ritual.
195
00:12:25,200 --> 00:12:26,200
Get out of here!
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00:12:28,220 --> 00:12:32,640
Oh, well, excuse me, Ethan. I don't
remember busting you when you and your
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00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:36,540
buddies used to show up, drink my
alcohol, which, incidentally, they
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00:12:36,540 --> 00:12:41,200
down. Bar girls, a double vodka tonic
for this young liquor thief.
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00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,660
Ethan, it is your turn to sing?
200
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,840
No. Nope.
201
00:12:48,540 --> 00:12:49,540
I'm going to bed.
202
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:51,800
Hi.
203
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,980
Hi, I'm Ethan. I'm a big pussy with no
sense of humor.
204
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,420
Hello, this is Ethan speaking.
205
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:06,460
If I were a real man, I would come out
and bow in disgrace before my hard
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00:13:06,460 --> 00:13:07,460
-working father.
207
00:13:13,580 --> 00:13:15,860
Mom thinks you and Cam Fong are having a
gay affair.
208
00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:17,860
Oh, very funny. Maybe she's right.
209
00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:21,520
Tomorrow I'm telling her I caught the
two of you wearing tiny leather vests
210
00:13:21,520 --> 00:13:22,560
shopping for Spice Fracks.
211
00:13:23,180 --> 00:13:24,180
Gay.
212
00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:25,960
Such ridiculousness.
213
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:28,540
Show tune, Ethan?
214
00:13:36,660 --> 00:13:38,320
One drink.
215
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,200
Yes! Party, party! Hello,
216
00:13:43,380 --> 00:13:46,380
this is Caitlin Joyce calling again from
Neotronic Arts.
217
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,680
I know I've left a lot of messages, but,
uh, hello?
218
00:13:52,010 --> 00:13:53,930
Hello, uh, is this an actual human
being?
219
00:13:55,090 --> 00:13:57,050
Hi, uh, thank you for answering.
220
00:13:57,250 --> 00:14:00,810
This is, uh, Caitlin Joyce calling from
Neutronic Arts. Uh, do you have a
221
00:14:00,810 --> 00:14:01,810
second?
222
00:14:10,910 --> 00:14:11,910
Let's do this!
223
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:19,370
And now, in an act of atonement for all
his crimes committed against his
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00:14:19,370 --> 00:14:24,200
parents, Ethan Jarliski will sing us his
version of Air Supply's classic power
225
00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:25,960
ballad, All Out of Love.
226
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,120
Back your performers.
227
00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:54,600
Get this whole thing on tape.
228
00:14:55,020 --> 00:14:59,280
By this time tomorrow, this fool's
behavior will be seen everywhere on
229
00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,080
Beautiful day out today, partner.
230
00:15:11,620 --> 00:15:12,620
Huh?
231
00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:14,120
Sure.
232
00:15:14,820 --> 00:15:17,320
Yes, sirree, nothing could possibly go
wrong on a day like today.
233
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,060
Cowboy, what are you doing out here?
234
00:15:21,680 --> 00:15:22,680
Just waiting for you, pal.
235
00:15:23,820 --> 00:15:24,880
There's something I want to show you.
236
00:15:27,060 --> 00:15:29,200
There's some kind of general meeting I
forgot about.
237
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:33,860
It's been in a constant loop since 6 a
.m. this morning.
238
00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:38,920
How did this even happen?
239
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,080
I want to make this river bank the best
in the world.
240
00:15:54,980 --> 00:16:00,580
After you make it, I will give you a
bowl of soup. I order you to do it now.
241
00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:21,660
Excuse me. Excuse me.
242
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:31,220
I can't be too late so
243
00:16:31,220 --> 00:16:33,740
that I can't go wrong.
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00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,520
He's collapsed in a puddle of his own
vomit.
245
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,860
The number three viral clip on earth.
246
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:44,960
Congratulations, buddy.
247
00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:48,480
Carol, I've only slept here one night.
248
00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:55,820
And, well, Not to be the nosy neighbor,
but... But, uh... Boy, there sure
249
00:16:55,820 --> 00:16:58,820
was a... A bit of a racket coming
upstairs from Ethan's place last night.
250
00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:02,820
Racket? Was it a Carol might get a
grandchild out of that kind of racket?
251
00:17:04,339 --> 00:17:05,380
Good morning!
252
00:17:08,880 --> 00:17:09,880
Steven, I have to go.
253
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:10,739
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
254
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:13,980
Carol, wait. Look, I was going to go out
and buy a few stylish chairs for the
255
00:17:13,980 --> 00:17:14,980
condo. You want to come?
256
00:17:15,339 --> 00:17:19,960
Steven, you're a modern, masculine man.
Some Eames chairs, big art in the walls,
257
00:17:20,079 --> 00:17:23,280
stay away from the ruffles, you'll be
fine. Just don't go all theme on me.
258
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:24,520
Goodbye, Steven.
259
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:29,200
Bye, Carol.
260
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:35,040
Any luck tracing the IP address of
whoever uploaded that clip?
261
00:17:35,560 --> 00:17:37,260
None. What are you doing?
262
00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:40,160
Contacting all two, begging them to
remove my masterpiece.
263
00:17:44,270 --> 00:17:45,690
Meet me in the parking lot, Caitlin.
264
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:47,990
Time to face the music, buddy.
265
00:17:50,530 --> 00:17:51,530
Be right back.
266
00:17:57,930 --> 00:18:02,930
What's up, Mike?
267
00:18:05,370 --> 00:18:09,790
Caitlin, last night I got really drunk
and my dad and I...
268
00:18:11,050 --> 00:18:15,390
I'm having a very special guest today. I
have booked the executive boardroom.
269
00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:17,530
What were you going to say?
270
00:18:17,810 --> 00:18:19,070
Nothing. Never mind.
271
00:18:19,270 --> 00:18:23,070
Hi. Hey, could you do me a favor? After
we've dropped all of these off, could
272
00:18:23,070 --> 00:18:25,070
you get everybody to meet me in the
boardroom?
273
00:18:25,550 --> 00:18:26,550
Sure. No problem.
274
00:18:28,630 --> 00:18:29,810
Good day.
275
00:18:35,870 --> 00:18:39,890
Honey, I need to borrow your dad's stun
gun for half an hour.
276
00:18:40,410 --> 00:18:41,830
Why? Intruder?
277
00:18:42,170 --> 00:18:47,010
No, Cam Fong's gonna record me stun
gunning myself so we can post it on the
278
00:18:47,010 --> 00:18:48,010
internet.
279
00:18:52,030 --> 00:18:53,650
Words fail me.
280
00:18:53,870 --> 00:18:57,530
Oh, it's not what you think. Cam Fong
tells me that there's a TV show in Hong
281
00:18:57,530 --> 00:18:58,750
Kong called White Ghost.
282
00:18:59,050 --> 00:19:02,730
Every week they air the top ten most
popular all -tube videos.
283
00:19:03,050 --> 00:19:06,410
The ones featuring North Americans doing
really stupid stuff.
284
00:19:06,730 --> 00:19:08,770
And he's got a way to rig it so that...
285
00:19:08,990 --> 00:19:11,710
He wins the top $500 prize every week.
286
00:19:12,050 --> 00:19:17,230
And you think people want to see you
stun gunning yourself?
287
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:21,870
Well, I believe people are ready to see
the joyful side of stun gunning.
288
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:27,110
And think of it, it's finally a chance
for me to be on a top -rated TV show in
289
00:19:27,110 --> 00:19:29,050
what is technically a speaking role.
290
00:19:46,179 --> 00:19:49,260
Jim, this was my father's favorite stun
gun.
291
00:19:49,660 --> 00:19:51,960
Just be careful with it.
292
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:53,200
Thanks, honey.
293
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,260
You know, Ethan's already gone viral.
294
00:19:57,800 --> 00:19:58,980
Maybe I can, too.
295
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:04,880
Ethan's viral?
296
00:20:07,400 --> 00:20:12,780
What are we doing here? I don't know.
Caitlin seemed happy. I didn't want to
297
00:20:12,780 --> 00:20:13,780
question it further.
298
00:20:16,129 --> 00:20:18,670
Okay? I'd like you all to meet Lila
Theron.
299
00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:20,810
Hi. Hello. Please.
300
00:20:21,830 --> 00:20:24,590
Lila is the owner of the copyright to
the birthday song.
301
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:29,590
And it just turns out that Lila lives
only 25 miles away from Neotronic Arts
302
00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:30,790
an island she owns up the coast.
303
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:33,890
And she graciously came in today to meet
with us.
304
00:20:34,350 --> 00:20:35,810
So, let's meet then.
305
00:20:36,130 --> 00:20:37,130
Okay?
306
00:20:39,190 --> 00:20:40,190
Here's the deal.
307
00:20:40,710 --> 00:20:44,090
I want $10 million up front and 6 % of
all gross revenues.
308
00:20:44,590 --> 00:20:48,450
plus an option against the purchase and
the right to cancel the entire project
309
00:20:48,450 --> 00:20:50,950
at the end if it doesn't meet my quality
standards.
310
00:20:53,030 --> 00:20:55,270
Caitlin, what's she talking about?
311
00:20:55,910 --> 00:20:57,410
What is she talking about?
312
00:20:58,430 --> 00:21:02,830
You told me you wanted to make Happy
Birthday the video game.
313
00:21:04,550 --> 00:21:10,790
Lila, there's a sequence in a game we've
been working on and we thought it might
314
00:21:10,790 --> 00:21:11,810
be nice to...
315
00:21:14,730 --> 00:21:15,730
Look.
316
00:21:16,410 --> 00:21:20,250
We have coffee and delicious pastries
for everybody.
317
00:21:21,990 --> 00:21:23,110
Excuse me. Sorry.
318
00:21:23,390 --> 00:21:24,390
My mother.
319
00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:25,830
His mother?
320
00:21:26,190 --> 00:21:27,190
Mom.
321
00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:29,210
Mom. Ethan.
322
00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,250
What's this your father tells me about
you being viral?
323
00:21:32,510 --> 00:21:33,509
What are you talking about?
324
00:21:33,510 --> 00:21:38,710
Are you experiencing genital blisters or
running sores located on the perianal
325
00:21:38,710 --> 00:21:42,230
region, the strip of skin that stretches
between the rectum and the forward
326
00:21:42,230 --> 00:21:43,230
genital region?
327
00:21:43,450 --> 00:21:44,830
You mean the video that went viral.
328
00:21:45,190 --> 00:21:47,510
Video? Yeah, you'll see it soon enough.
329
00:21:49,070 --> 00:21:50,310
Is that dad screaming?
330
00:21:51,170 --> 00:21:55,690
Your father's gay Chinese mafia kingpin
lover is taping a film of your father
331
00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:56,690
stun gunning himself.
332
00:21:56,930 --> 00:21:58,290
What is going on with you two?
333
00:21:58,570 --> 00:22:01,730
Everything's fine, Ethan. I'm simply
trying to figure out whether to serve
334
00:22:01,730 --> 00:22:05,530
shiitake mushroom tapenade or goose
liver pate on melba toast at their gay
335
00:22:05,530 --> 00:22:06,530
wedding.
336
00:22:07,270 --> 00:22:10,570
Mom, don't you think you should do
something before he hurts himself?
337
00:22:10,990 --> 00:22:13,990
When I was a teenager, We use my
father's stun gun all the time.
338
00:22:15,090 --> 00:22:18,390
Zafra, too, and the tosh actually gives
the woman a really nice complexion. But
339
00:22:18,390 --> 00:22:19,390
this.
340
00:22:22,350 --> 00:22:26,570
Ethan, I want you to talk some sense
into him, and I want you to do it right
341
00:22:26,570 --> 00:22:28,350
now. Mom, I'm in a meeting.
342
00:22:28,730 --> 00:22:32,230
And I'm in a tizzy. I need some help
here. I really, really do.
343
00:22:33,210 --> 00:22:36,610
Oh, my God, Cam. Fong just crushed my
tomato seedlings.
344
00:22:44,010 --> 00:22:47,590
You see, I can smell a copyright
violation a mile away.
345
00:22:47,890 --> 00:22:50,150
Yeah, but putting the song in the game
would be from the heart.
346
00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:51,810
You know, for the kids.
347
00:22:52,130 --> 00:22:53,170
I hate children.
348
00:22:57,570 --> 00:22:59,890
Guys, I have to step out for a minute.
349
00:23:16,750 --> 00:23:20,110
It's really important to my boss that we
be able to put this song in the game.
350
00:23:20,830 --> 00:23:21,830
Look at me.
351
00:23:21,990 --> 00:23:23,190
Come on, look into my eyes.
352
00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:29,150
Okay. Compared to you, I'm 4 ,000 years
old. And when you get to be this old,
353
00:23:29,250 --> 00:23:30,830
you can read a person like you read a
book.
354
00:23:31,770 --> 00:23:34,510
Honey, I got your act down.
355
00:23:36,090 --> 00:23:37,090
Do you now?
356
00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:38,350
Do you now?
357
00:23:40,050 --> 00:23:41,890
You used to be fat, didn't you?
358
00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:45,390
Huh? Huh?
359
00:23:46,190 --> 00:23:50,930
What? I can always tell a former lord
has. Mila, please.
360
00:23:51,150 --> 00:23:53,870
And you're a real basket case, too, I
bet.
361
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:59,630
You couldn't handle a relationship if it
drove over you with a truck.
362
00:24:02,130 --> 00:24:04,190
I work hard to try to better myself.
363
00:24:04,690 --> 00:24:05,690
Oh.
364
00:24:06,590 --> 00:24:08,970
What do you do other than co -found
royalties?
365
00:24:09,350 --> 00:24:10,990
Oh, touche.
366
00:24:11,710 --> 00:24:13,610
You're a real pleaser, too, aren't you?
367
00:24:14,030 --> 00:24:15,470
Fucking up to all your bosses.
368
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:19,960
Just a big, fat, overstuffed kid that.
369
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:21,200
Oh, my God.
370
00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:23,060
Oh, you.
371
00:24:24,860 --> 00:24:28,440
You're the resident slut boy, aren't
you?
372
00:24:28,840 --> 00:24:30,440
Had enough cheap sex lately?
373
00:24:32,500 --> 00:24:33,820
I can never get enough.
374
00:24:34,220 --> 00:24:35,720
You're afraid of death, aren't you?
375
00:24:37,360 --> 00:24:40,280
Sure you are. Yeah, I can see it in your
eyes.
376
00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:45,100
Your eyes are like two deep wells filled
with drowned toddlers.
377
00:24:45,550 --> 00:24:48,410
You're not going to be happy until you
take death out on a date.
378
00:24:50,570 --> 00:24:52,730
Hey, stop that.
379
00:24:54,410 --> 00:24:55,450
It's not all bad.
380
00:24:57,250 --> 00:25:01,650
I saw you over here smiling, you quaking
blob of fear.
381
00:25:01,890 --> 00:25:03,250
What, me?
382
00:25:03,550 --> 00:25:04,550
What, me?
383
00:25:05,070 --> 00:25:08,070
It's always like that with you fear
girls, isn't it?
384
00:25:08,270 --> 00:25:12,230
Your biggest fear is that your daddy's
going to walk in here and judge you to
385
00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:14,810
an infertile, barren...
386
00:25:15,580 --> 00:25:16,580
Manless failure.
387
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:17,840
You're a monster.
388
00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:19,080
Am I?
389
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:22,680
Hey, virgin, pushing 30.
390
00:25:22,940 --> 00:25:27,580
You make me sick. You'd rather fondle an
Ikea catalog than touch a real woman's
391
00:25:27,580 --> 00:25:28,580
body.
392
00:25:29,420 --> 00:25:30,420
Stop it.
393
00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:34,420
Just stop it right now. What gives you
the right to judge my friends like this?
394
00:25:34,540 --> 00:25:36,540
I can take it, but please leave them out
of it.
395
00:25:37,260 --> 00:25:38,260
I'm leaving.
396
00:25:39,520 --> 00:25:40,520
No, you're not.
397
00:25:42,220 --> 00:25:43,220
Apologize. No.
398
00:25:43,530 --> 00:25:48,550
You idiots dragged me away from my
palatial island estate so you could take
399
00:25:48,550 --> 00:25:52,810
sacred song. What the hell? What are you
doing? I am holding you until you
400
00:25:52,810 --> 00:25:53,810
apologize.
401
00:25:54,490 --> 00:25:56,070
Cowboy, John Doe. John Doe.
402
00:25:59,970 --> 00:26:00,970
Easy, easy.
403
00:26:02,950 --> 00:26:04,870
I am so not apologizing.
404
00:26:09,090 --> 00:26:10,090
Can't keep her here.
405
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,840
Help me roll Old Birthday Lake back into
the J -Pod.
406
00:26:14,560 --> 00:26:15,620
Don't run, you poor dog.
407
00:26:16,020 --> 00:26:17,040
Wait, get the other door.
408
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:26,160
Wait, keep a lookout.
409
00:26:48,650 --> 00:26:49,650
Where's Dad?
410
00:26:49,850 --> 00:26:53,210
Editing a stun gun video at Camp Fong's
secret love nest.
411
00:26:53,590 --> 00:26:54,590
Mom!
412
00:26:54,830 --> 00:26:57,990
Okay, he's with Camp Fong.
413
00:27:00,270 --> 00:27:01,270
Ethan!
414
00:27:03,690 --> 00:27:05,610
What do you think of young Stephen?
415
00:27:06,110 --> 00:27:09,350
Steve, he's dorky in a Ned Flanders kind
of way.
416
00:27:09,550 --> 00:27:11,290
I don't think he's evil or anything.
417
00:27:11,990 --> 00:27:13,210
He's a little bit needy.
418
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:17,370
Ethan, Stephen may be on the needy side.
419
00:27:18,090 --> 00:27:19,890
But sometimes it's nice to be needed.
420
00:27:20,890 --> 00:27:21,890
No.
421
00:27:22,250 --> 00:27:25,850
Mom, I think you and Dad need to start
spending more time together.
422
00:27:26,150 --> 00:27:27,810
Ask Dad for some special attention.
423
00:27:28,050 --> 00:27:29,610
Go out someplace nice for dinner.
424
00:27:30,330 --> 00:27:33,410
Reconnect. Pretend to be interested in
ballroom dancing.
425
00:27:34,030 --> 00:27:38,090
The devil had too much free time on his
hands when he invented ballroom dancing.
426
00:27:38,190 --> 00:27:40,350
No. Mom, no negativity.
427
00:27:40,970 --> 00:27:43,450
Give it a shot. Try and meet Dad
halfway.
428
00:27:46,650 --> 00:27:47,650
You're right.
429
00:27:48,330 --> 00:27:49,330
I'm just lonely.
430
00:27:49,830 --> 00:27:56,530
But, Ethan, I need passion in my life. I
need intimacy. Why doesn't your father
431
00:27:56,530 --> 00:27:57,349
know that?
432
00:27:57,350 --> 00:27:58,350
Mom, stop.
433
00:27:58,530 --> 00:28:00,250
Isn't it something you discuss with your
son?
434
00:28:01,750 --> 00:28:02,750
Cowboy, what's up?
435
00:28:02,850 --> 00:28:04,270
Ethan, I've got a cold red.
436
00:28:04,470 --> 00:28:05,470
Come on, what happened?
437
00:28:07,710 --> 00:28:08,710
Just come.
438
00:28:13,010 --> 00:28:15,530
Mom, stay away from Steve.
439
00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,380
And stop making fire logs out of old
newspapers.
440
00:28:20,660 --> 00:28:23,140
The smoke from burning papers is worse
than throwing them in the trash.
441
00:28:23,920 --> 00:28:24,920
Recycle them.
442
00:28:28,400 --> 00:28:30,280
I believe she's ready to apologize.
443
00:28:31,020 --> 00:28:35,020
Congratulations, you've moved me. Ergo,
you have upgraded your crime from
444
00:28:35,020 --> 00:28:36,920
unlawful confinement to kidnapping.
445
00:28:37,380 --> 00:28:38,420
Ka -ching, ka -ching!
446
00:28:39,000 --> 00:28:40,000
Yes, she's not ready.
447
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:42,000
Intruder alert!
448
00:28:45,020 --> 00:28:46,020
Monsters!
449
00:28:47,210 --> 00:28:51,030
Dare I ask about Connor's video birthday
card, huh? Is it in the game?
450
00:28:51,330 --> 00:28:52,330
How are you?
451
00:28:57,110 --> 00:28:59,910
Is it all wrapped up? Done. It is all
wrapped up indeed, Steve.
452
00:29:00,610 --> 00:29:02,190
Apostres, I love you. I love you to
bits.
453
00:29:03,490 --> 00:29:04,490
What's that?
454
00:29:06,690 --> 00:29:07,690
Oh.
455
00:29:08,590 --> 00:29:10,750
I'm doing a mural for my apartment.
456
00:29:11,270 --> 00:29:14,590
It's a website that lets you print out
images and then you paste them together
457
00:29:14,590 --> 00:29:15,590
to make huge murals.
458
00:29:16,030 --> 00:29:17,030
A mural?
459
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:21,000
Like a big... I like it. Can you send me
the link?
460
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:22,520
Sure, yeah.
461
00:29:22,600 --> 00:29:23,600
Good work, team.
462
00:29:26,620 --> 00:29:27,760
See you later. Bye, Steve.
463
00:29:31,420 --> 00:29:32,420
That was close.
464
00:29:40,580 --> 00:29:43,920
Is that he?
465
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,440
Yeah.
466
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,050
So you really think that... This video
can win me the White Ghost Award.
467
00:29:49,510 --> 00:29:52,670
Indeed. This is a viral video for the
ages.
468
00:29:53,970 --> 00:29:55,330
What music do you want to use?
469
00:29:55,790 --> 00:29:57,830
How about Ethan's song from last night?
470
00:29:58,530 --> 00:29:59,530
I agree.
471
00:29:59,630 --> 00:30:00,830
It shall be done.
472
00:30:01,290 --> 00:30:02,610
Then we're ready to celebrate.
473
00:30:03,090 --> 00:30:04,090
Excellent idea.
474
00:30:04,230 --> 00:30:05,310
How shall we do this?
475
00:30:05,890 --> 00:30:09,570
Let's get hammered and show these porn
stars some real ballroom.
476
00:30:09,810 --> 00:30:12,410
You have chosen wisely, Jim Jarlowski.
477
00:30:12,690 --> 00:30:14,950
You are truly a man of the people.
478
00:30:16,650 --> 00:30:19,570
Add that song to this clip and upload it
onto Altium.
479
00:30:47,310 --> 00:30:48,530
Why'd you want me to rush back?
480
00:30:49,450 --> 00:30:51,390
You don't want to talk to Caitlin about
that.
481
00:31:03,930 --> 00:31:04,930
Caitlin.
482
00:31:07,090 --> 00:31:08,090
Huh?
483
00:31:10,150 --> 00:31:11,150
Good God.
484
00:31:11,790 --> 00:31:12,790
Relax.
485
00:31:13,150 --> 00:31:15,150
Everyone's family is a disaster, not
yours.
486
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:23,040
Uh, in the meantime, we have a problem.
487
00:31:24,180 --> 00:31:25,180
Guys?
488
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,340
Are you crazy nut?
489
00:31:33,020 --> 00:31:36,800
Uh, she totally deserved it. Don't try
and guilt us that way.
490
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:41,160
Guys, you just kidnapped the most
litigious person on earth.
491
00:31:42,180 --> 00:31:46,300
Caitlin, you're an American who's just
committed a serious crime in another
492
00:31:46,300 --> 00:31:49,230
country. They're going to chuck you in
jail and throw away the key.
493
00:31:50,930 --> 00:31:51,930
Oh, dear.
494
00:31:53,670 --> 00:31:55,630
Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.
495
00:31:56,070 --> 00:31:59,310
I really think what you want to do right
now is appeal to her humanity.
496
00:31:59,710 --> 00:32:01,170
Yeah, she doesn't have any.
497
00:32:01,450 --> 00:32:03,430
You need an exit strategy now.
498
00:32:08,130 --> 00:32:09,130
Lila.
499
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,560
I'm about to tell you the saddest story
ever told.
500
00:32:17,780 --> 00:32:18,980
Oh, great.
501
00:32:25,100 --> 00:32:31,920
There was a little girl who grew up in a
trailer.
502
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:35,380
And all she ever wanted was a puppy.
503
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:41,300
And on her sixth birthday, she ran into
the trailer's kitchen area and there, on
504
00:32:41,300 --> 00:32:42,300
the floor...
505
00:32:43,020 --> 00:32:46,300
was a box with a big bow on it.
506
00:32:47,540 --> 00:32:49,540
And she knew it contained a puppy.
507
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:53,520
There were six candles on the cake.
508
00:32:54,680 --> 00:33:00,800
Three were leftover stubs, and three
were just popsicle sticks lit on fire.
509
00:33:02,460 --> 00:33:09,420
She bent over to blow out the candles,
but her father's mullet caught fire, and
510
00:33:09,420 --> 00:33:10,880
there was much screaming.
511
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:16,200
Now, because of the commotion, they
didn't see the approaching tornado,
512
00:33:16,200 --> 00:33:21,980
sucked the trailer up into the air and
dropped it 500 yards away
513
00:33:21,980 --> 00:33:25,540
in the parking lot of a Popeye's
chicken.
514
00:33:26,380 --> 00:33:30,720
Only half of the puppy that was inside
that box was ever found.
515
00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:40,320
And Lila, that little girl, was me.
516
00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:45,020
And that's my happy birthday memory.
517
00:33:46,320 --> 00:33:51,320
Your song has given hope to children all
around the world. They expect their
518
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:52,920
birthday to be happy.
519
00:33:53,940 --> 00:33:57,380
Now, if their birthdays aren't totally
happy, do they go and sue you?
520
00:34:01,620 --> 00:34:08,500
Are we
521
00:34:08,500 --> 00:34:09,500
okay?
522
00:34:11,480 --> 00:34:12,480
No.
523
00:34:17,260 --> 00:34:19,520
Geez, lady, you're a sociopath.
524
00:34:19,860 --> 00:34:24,020
Oh, write it on your check, Tony
Bennett. Hey, I saw your video this
525
00:34:24,020 --> 00:34:25,600
when I was checking out my usual sites.
526
00:34:26,179 --> 00:34:29,739
Very snazzy work. I saw that. It's no
big deal.
527
00:34:33,659 --> 00:34:36,199
Wait a minute. What are you guys talking
about?
528
00:34:37,580 --> 00:34:38,580
Let's tape her up again.
529
00:34:38,840 --> 00:34:41,300
Why don't you just think this is another
song, lover boy?
530
00:34:41,560 --> 00:34:42,580
You need to be quiet now.
531
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:44,380
Well, then take off your shirt.
532
00:34:47,690 --> 00:34:48,690
What next?
533
00:34:51,650 --> 00:34:52,850
This woman is insane.
534
00:34:53,530 --> 00:34:55,250
Yeah, and mean.
535
00:34:56,030 --> 00:34:57,690
Why is she so mean?
536
00:34:57,970 --> 00:35:01,150
Screw my exit strategy theory. We need
an exorcist.
537
00:35:01,430 --> 00:35:02,590
What have I done?
538
00:35:05,790 --> 00:35:07,830
Greg never calls me.
539
00:35:08,510 --> 00:35:11,210
Greg, thank you for ruining my night.
540
00:35:11,490 --> 00:35:15,250
What? Thanks to you and parental guilt,
I had to skip Cougar Night tonight to go
541
00:35:15,250 --> 00:35:16,890
watch you and Dad on some Chinese game
show.
542
00:35:17,340 --> 00:35:18,340
Are you on drugs?
543
00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:19,640
No, not right now.
544
00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:22,360
Your video is competing with Dad's on
Chinese TV.
545
00:35:22,660 --> 00:35:24,300
Since when did you and Dad start making
videos?
546
00:35:24,620 --> 00:35:28,200
Now is not the time to explain why Dad
and I make videos, Greg. It's basically
547
00:35:28,200 --> 00:35:30,100
karaoke gone horribly, horribly wrong.
548
00:35:34,960 --> 00:35:35,960
Ethan?
549
00:35:36,340 --> 00:35:38,120
Greg, you didn't hear anything. Look,
Greg, I have to go.
550
00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:40,320
Ethan, this is probably the weirdest
question I've ever asked.
551
00:35:41,100 --> 00:35:44,680
But do you have a woman named Lila
Theron gagged and screaming beside you?
552
00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:46,520
No.
553
00:35:48,330 --> 00:35:50,530
Maybe. Wait, how did you know that? Oh,
my God.
554
00:35:50,990 --> 00:35:52,630
You've got the cougar gene, too.
555
00:35:52,850 --> 00:35:53,850
Greg, shut up.
556
00:35:54,230 --> 00:35:57,030
Wow, you've even skipped cougars and
gone all the way to jaguars.
557
00:35:57,630 --> 00:36:00,910
Finally, we have something in common.
I'm proud of you.
558
00:36:01,150 --> 00:36:02,150
Where did you meet her?
559
00:36:02,330 --> 00:36:03,330
It's a long story.
560
00:36:03,490 --> 00:36:04,510
Hey, did you film everything?
561
00:36:04,850 --> 00:36:07,790
She loves to watch and be watched.
562
00:36:08,150 --> 00:36:09,150
Oh.
563
00:36:11,130 --> 00:36:12,130
Tell me everything.
564
00:36:14,810 --> 00:36:17,330
Lila, roll around in the money some
more. You're really, really filthy
565
00:36:17,730 --> 00:36:18,930
Money, money, money.
566
00:36:19,230 --> 00:36:21,070
Oh, money, money.
567
00:36:21,790 --> 00:36:22,850
That's mine.
568
00:36:23,090 --> 00:36:25,510
Give me the money. Yeah, give me the
money. Wolf them down.
569
00:36:31,170 --> 00:36:36,030
Cough it out, Lila.
570
00:36:36,410 --> 00:36:37,410
Cough it out.
571
00:36:38,610 --> 00:36:40,410
Take that, you dirty money.
572
00:36:41,010 --> 00:36:42,330
I owe you.
573
00:36:42,890 --> 00:36:43,890
You're mine.
574
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:50,240
Wow.
575
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:55,800
Lila, I want you to promise not to sue
us for kidnapping, not to sue us for
576
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:59,660
psychological damages, and to say I'm
sorry to each and every podster.
577
00:37:01,340 --> 00:37:04,900
This is a complete release, freeing us
from any liability.
578
00:37:06,780 --> 00:37:10,160
Yeah, I'm going to need you to sign
right here.
579
00:37:10,360 --> 00:37:15,600
Or with one click of Ethan's mouth, your
dirty little movie is going to go
580
00:37:15,600 --> 00:37:16,600
public.
581
00:37:17,480 --> 00:37:18,500
You wouldn't.
582
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:24,900
I'm going to untie your arms.
583
00:37:52,759 --> 00:37:54,780
Happy birthday to me.
584
00:37:55,240 --> 00:37:57,580
Yeah, embryos.
585
00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:59,860
Bye -bye, birthday lady.
586
00:38:00,360 --> 00:38:01,360
Nice.
587
00:38:02,980 --> 00:38:03,980
Upload complete.
588
00:38:06,580 --> 00:38:07,580
Where are you parked?
589
00:38:07,840 --> 00:38:08,840
Out in the sticks.
590
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,640
You know, if you got here earlier, you'd
get a better parking spot.
591
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:16,520
Well, if you get here later, we get to
walk together a while longer.
592
00:38:29,490 --> 00:38:30,490
One more minute.
593
00:38:30,810 --> 00:38:31,810
It's not cutting.
594
00:38:31,830 --> 00:38:35,570
The video clips to be judged are shown
during the first ten minutes of the
595
00:38:38,390 --> 00:38:42,330
Dad, what are you doing? Nothing. I just
want to see if tonight is a new law and
596
00:38:42,330 --> 00:38:44,950
order. Put it back to the show. The show
started.
597
00:38:45,390 --> 00:38:48,630
Well, I want to, but I can't find the
right button here. You've got a
598
00:38:48,630 --> 00:38:52,070
remote system. Ethan, take the remote
from Dad. No, I can fix it. Thank you.
599
00:38:52,250 --> 00:38:54,990
Dad, how come you always manage the one
button on the remote that makes the TV
600
00:38:54,990 --> 00:38:58,050
self -destruct? Give me the remote. No!
Jim, you were always doing this. Why
601
00:38:58,050 --> 00:39:00,370
can't you just admit you can't read the
buttons on the remote?
602
00:39:00,570 --> 00:39:02,230
Ethan, take the remote away from your
father.
603
00:39:02,710 --> 00:39:07,190
There. Now you've destroyed Ethan's
coffee table. Are you happy now? What a
604
00:39:07,190 --> 00:39:09,230
goof. I can fix it.
605
00:39:10,040 --> 00:39:15,160
Your TV system, Ethan, is like a Russian
space shuttle. Don't blame my TV.
606
00:39:15,460 --> 00:39:17,860
This should fix it. Dad, we're missing
everything.
607
00:39:18,240 --> 00:39:19,660
Here. Ow!
608
00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:23,580
That hurts! You and your freaking IKEA
furniture!
609
00:39:26,629 --> 00:39:30,430
Never mind. Get out of the way. You
know, the way to fix this is I unplug
610
00:39:30,430 --> 00:39:33,690
TV, we start all over again. No, no, no.
No way are you getting off the hook by
611
00:39:33,690 --> 00:39:36,790
unplugging the TV. You started this
mess, and you're going to fix it like a
612
00:39:36,950 --> 00:39:40,230
Father has already ruined the coffee
table. That's just great. You just bail
613
00:39:40,230 --> 00:39:43,310
when things get a bit tough. Good role
model you are. Don't you sack your
614
00:39:43,310 --> 00:39:45,390
father. What is with this family?
615
00:39:45,630 --> 00:39:49,550
Ethan, families are families, and
they're always messy.
616
00:39:50,990 --> 00:39:51,990
You're terrible.
617
00:39:59,950 --> 00:40:02,270
Way to go, numbnuts. I'm fed up, too,
you know?
618
00:40:02,830 --> 00:40:06,990
I'm gonna go take a monster crap, and
I'm naming it after both of you.
619
00:40:07,230 --> 00:40:08,230
I'm outta here.
620
00:40:09,290 --> 00:40:10,290
Go to my room.
621
00:40:10,530 --> 00:40:11,730
Lock the doors when you leave.
622
00:40:29,800 --> 00:40:36,060
Oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh
my, oh my, oh my, oh my, oh
623
00:40:36,060 --> 00:40:47,480
my.
624
00:41:33,650 --> 00:41:34,650
Hey, Carol.
625
00:41:35,590 --> 00:41:37,550
Something I have to confess to you.
626
00:41:41,790 --> 00:41:45,230
I was wondering when we were going to
have this conversation.
627
00:41:46,850 --> 00:41:52,710
Sweetheart, I am seriously questioning
my dream of being an actor.
628
00:41:54,310 --> 00:41:55,310
What?
629
00:41:55,770 --> 00:41:57,990
I'm just not sure I have the goods for
it.
630
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:03,880
Nonsense.
631
00:42:04,380 --> 00:42:06,720
You are wonderful.
632
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:09,240
Don't you ever doubt yourself.
633
00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:14,540
And please, tell me if you're feeling
low.
634
00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:17,960
Well, when you tell me I'm wonderful,
that works.
635
00:42:20,060 --> 00:42:25,820
All I ask is, you put a lid on your gay
lifestyle?
636
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,380
You really think that Cam Fong and I...
637
00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:33,560
I mean, you think I'm into man -muff?
638
00:42:35,000 --> 00:42:41,860
Well, I... Sweetheart, I'm into you,
like I always have been. I'm into you,
639
00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:45,540
I'm into that, and those, and all that
stuff I've always been into.
640
00:42:45,980 --> 00:42:47,840
Come on, you crazy woman.
641
00:43:49,680 --> 00:43:51,940
Thinking of you till it hurts.
642
00:43:53,180 --> 00:43:55,040
I know you hurt too.
643
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:57,240
But what else can we do?
644
00:43:57,860 --> 00:44:00,140
Tormented and torn apart.
645
00:44:01,560 --> 00:44:05,780
I wish I could carry your smile in my
heart.
646
00:44:06,040 --> 00:44:09,020
For times when my life's been so low.
647
00:44:10,080 --> 00:44:16,320
I'll make you believe what tomorrow
could bring. When today doesn't
648
00:44:25,320 --> 00:44:26,780
I know you were right.
649
00:44:27,320 --> 00:44:30,900
Leaving for so long. I'm all out of
love.
650
00:44:31,300 --> 00:44:35,140
What am I without you? I can't be too
late.
50638
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