All language subtitles for jpod_2008_s01e03_emo_tion_capture

Previously on J -Pod. Hi, I'm Ethan
Jarlowski.

I work here in the J -Pod. Podsters, I'd
like you all to meet Stephen Lefkowitz.

He is the new vice president in charge
of vision and he will be overseeing you.

It's the third person medium -scale
sandbox world comprised of suburban

malls, libraries.

What we need is a talking turtle.

This is your crisis?

I know.

Is she fine or what?

You are the husband of my mother. You're
my dad.

Ellen Steele, from my algebra class, is
not the one. Can I help you? Please. I

need to see my son, Ethan. He hasn't
been answering his cell phone.

Who's Cam Paul?

If you have to ask, you don't want to
know. They can have all my clothes, just

not my sneakers.

You're such a good friend.

Oh, man.

I am so on fire, it is scary.

And the reason for the flames is... Hey,
dig this.

I'm printing snap -knock body parts with
this bi -curious lesbian I met online.

Oh, my God. Come here. Check these out.

Come on.

Huh?

Wow, so you're into lesbians.

I love the challenge of it.

Plus, they're going to catapult me onto
the list of top ten players of

Vancouver, so... Top ten what?

Players. It's a sexual conquest site
with ongoing ratings and featured

I'm currently number 14, but I have yet
to crack the top 10.

How will lesbians help you do this?

Let me help out here. The fastest and
highest points scored are earned by

getting a lesbian off the carpet and
onto hardwood.

Yep. Get huge numbers for every
conversion. Yeah. And for ladies of a

age, there is the Cougar League. Of
course. I'm still 10 years too young to

cougar. Yeah.

Breeza Puma.

A cougar kitten, if you will. She's
still in training.

Guys, why not just lie and say you made
it with, like, ten dykes?

John, please.

All right, there's a player code of
honor. Getting caught falsifying

ugly and shameful.

I'm going to earn my ranking. Thank you
very much. And this tasty little crumpet

is going to land Daddy on top.

Hey, guys, it's time for the focus group
meeting.

More treats from my afternoon delight.

Oh, hello.

Sushi, konnichiwa.

Jeez, cowboy, do you ever even ask me my
name?

Uh, no.

No, no dinners, no movies, no pretending
to care about our cat.

Pure, anonymous, casual encounters.

Get it, Addie.

It's not easy.

Jim, it's me, Ellen.

I'm going crazy without you.

Ellen, what did I tell you? I won't live
without you. Of course you can. I know

it won't be easy, but you can do it.
You're strong.

I'm not strong.

I'm a bowl of jello.

And you're the spoon. I know. I'm a hot
guy. I'm the package.

I get it. But there must be other guys
out there less married than me.

I love you because you're an actor, but
acting hasn't crushed you yet.

You're like a newborn baby trying to
find its voice for the first time.

Pure and clean. I do plan on getting a
speaking role someday, you know.

You're so dedicated to your art.

And I'm so dedicated to you. We're meant
to be together. I just know it. Jim,

the moths! Their little wings aren't
moving!

Ellen, I've got to go now, okay? Be
strong.

Yes, Jim.

I'll be strong.

You want more?

Lousy focus group results? I'll give
them to you.

I've had better turtles poking out of my
butt.

I wanted blowtorches, gang warfare, and
gnarly wipeouts. Instead, I got turtle

road rash.

Three words for this train wreck.

Needless turtle.

Steve, it sounds like our test players
are not connecting with the turtles.

Well, if our focus groups don't like
Dwight... Caitlin, then we re -focus and

make them like Dwight, right? Why would
you even bother testing a game that's

four and a half months into development?

Because I'm a leader, Ethan, and because
we're behind schedule. But we don't

have any approved designs. We have no
idea who our target market is, no clue

what game engine we're going to use. You
know who's at fault here, Ethan?

It's we. We need to get back on the
right track.

We need to put the us back into the we.

Okay, well, we think the game is about
skateboard carnage.

And this talking turtle buddy just...
No, no, no, no, no, no. There'll be no

more discussion about the turtle. My son
Connor wants the turtle in the game.

Well, as we've already told you, the
talking turtle buddy... Nikuma?

Where did you... Gang, meet the Nikuma.
Product of the one -time only

collaboration between Nike and Puma.

Production was halted because of
creative differences. Only 50 pairs of

were ever made.

47 of which were lost when a freight
container fell overboard in a storm off

Aleutian Islands in 1995.

They're worth like 12 grand.

Only three pair remain.

And someone at this table is going to
win this pair right here.

Stephen Sons is filmed in front of a
live studio audience.

Mom, Connor, check out these Nikumas.
Watch your language.

No, Mom, these are Nikumas, and they're
only the best shoes ever made, and Steve

got them for me.

Cool. What a sweet, thoughtful man you
are, Steve.

Thanks,

Dad. I mean, Steve.

Um, Steve?

Can I call you Dad?

Sure, Ethan.

As long as Connor can call you bro.

And I can call you son.

You bet, Dad!

Son. Dad.

Bro. Son. Dad. Oh, you man.

Gang,

we need to ramp up the violence factor
in board action so that people like our

turtle buddy. So what I'm doing is I'm
holding a contest.

in which each of you members of my J
-Pod Idea Lab will be pitted against

other in the motion capture studio. And
whoever can give me the most violent,

innovative action sequence wins those
shoes.

I'm going to have to disqualify myself,
Steve.

Why's that?

Last weekend, I was at a brand -name
cola tasting seminar at the Brentwood

Picked up a bad case of carbonated
bladder.

Oh, that sounds painful. I'm sorry to
hear that.

Yeah, I can't compete either. I have a
ladies' issue.

that I can discuss with you after the
meeting. No, no, no, that's perfectly

fine. You're still going to take care of
the techie motion capture stuff,

though, right?

Yeah, Steve, that's my job. That's my
girl. Anyone else?

I'm a coder. It's not my domain.

Ethan's our gore specialist.

Ethan, I trust you're going to enter?
Yes, sir.

I'm going to enter.

Great!

Well, make me proud, son.

I mean, Ethan.

Okay, so let's make some... kick -ass mo
-capture, and may the best podster

prevail. Okay, so on three.

One, two, three, scene!

Hello?

Carol.

So sorry to bother you at home. I
wouldn't normally pester you like this.

just that... Yeah?

I'm worried about Ethan.

Introducing a turtle character into
Bordex isn't going so well, and I'm

he might become discouraged.

Ethan has so much talent.

He just needs a little boost.

How can I help?

We're holding a motion capture contest.

Okay.

Whatever it is, I'm sure it's just
terrific.

Well, I was wondering... If you'd like
to maybe judge the entries, it'd be

wonderful to have you back here and get
your own guards, and the building just

comes alive when you're in it.

Stephen.

Judging people, what fun!

When's D -Day? This afternoon.

She wants to pick up her toy first.
Nice!

Sounds like the makings of a loving,
committed, and fulfilling relationship.

You're the type who likes to stick
around in the morning and cook a little

breakfast, huh?

You have a point.

Rabid kitten death count, huh? How about
I strike a Mongolian goldfish pose and

whack you with a running scarecrow next
time? I'll shield myself with an

illusory terror wall, then strike with
my enlightened dragon nerve pinch.

Then, when you're on the ground begging
for mercy, I will slit your gut like a

wild boar and feast on your entrails.
Dude, where's this coming from? Why the

hell are you so bent on taking this away
from me?

My sneaker collection is the only thing
in my life that hasn't been run over by

a truck.

Ethan, it's not just that I want to meet
you.

Well, that would be fun.

The fact is... I have to have an
operation.

Oh, my God.

That's awful. What's wrong?

It's hard to talk about.

An absorbed twin. An absorbed twin?

Ethan, scientists now believe that
roughly one pregnancy in 20 begins as

But in most cases, one embryo simply
absorbs the other. The absorbed twin is

about the size of a rice grain and goes
undetected throughout the lifetime of

the surviving twin.

However, sometimes chemical triggers
activate a growth spurt, causing the

absorbed twin to grow within its adult
carrier.

Where's yours located, Caitlin?

Up here on my left shoulder.

I've known about it for years, but...
Well, it's starting to grow.

I think it's entered puberty.

It's growing hair? Does it have a tooth?

Oh, my God, you're an instant menage a
trois. It's a boy.

So? Can I touch it?

Yeah, right here.

Yeah?

No, feel that.

That's her bra strap. I just want it
removed.

Well, then get it removed. Go to any
hospital and they'll remove it. I can't

afford the operation. I'm American.

And your Canadian medical hasn't kicked
in? No.

Oh, that sucks, eh?

Bummer.

Damn. Cam just moved from number eight
to number three.

Cam Fong is the man.

How do you know Cam Fong?

Cam Fong?

Also known as Cam Bam Thank You Ma 'am
is one of VanCityPlayers .com's most

honored members.

He's been in the top ten for years. His
lesbian conversion rate is unparalleled.

I know Cam Fong.

Really? You do?

Yeah, and I'd be careful. He's one shady
dude with a knack for human trafficking

who happens to be my dad's ballroom
dance partner.

Cool.

I'm gonna go pick up my old nunchucks at
my parents' place.

So how does a ballroom dancer make the
top ten?

I bet you anything, he talks about his
feelings.

Women are powerless when confronted with
a man discussing his feelings.

Yeah, but that leads to relationships,
and who wants that?

I've had lots of relationships.

These days, I want to focus on having a
kick -ass overall life.

Hey, Mom.

Hi, honey.

Have you seen my old nunchucks, martial
arts stuff around here?

Uh, up on the shelf with your other
boxes.

Can you please take some of those away
with you today, too?

I'll do it on the weekend.

I have a crazy week at work. I have
to... Capture emotions?

You mean motion capture.

How'd you know about that?

Young Steven called me this morning.

Mom, could you please make friends with
people who aren't my boss?

I'm grown up. I need my own life.

Did you tell Steve about the fact that I
dream of owning a pair of Nikuma

sneakers?

Don't drag me down.

into the sordid underworld of men who
collect sneakers.

Believe me, I would never dream of
mentioning it outside this house.

A man collecting shoes, it's just not
right.

Honestly, Ethan, you could have had a
pyramid of beer bottles lined up in your

window sill like other boys, but know
that it was shamelessly overpriced

shoes, carefully lined up in display
cases like fine china for everything.

The problem with that is...

All the ridiculous money from those
sneakers probably subsidizes every crack

in America.

Mom, let it go.

I just wish you would spend the same
amount of energy and affection on a

relationship with a girl.

Believe it or not, right now, shoes and
girls have everything to do with each

other.

Hello.

It is my fifth hang -up call today.

Ethan, I love you, but please leave.

I need some Carol time.

Fine.

Hey, Mom tells me she's been coming down
to your work, checking you out at the

office. I'm proud of you, too, you know,
making all those video games.

I want to be more involved in your life.

Really? You would?

Mm -hmm.

Especially that motion capture thing
you've been talking about.

You need actors for that, right?

Mm -hmm. So I come down, check you out.
You set the old man up with an audition.

Ah, you want a part in a game.

A speaking part.

Make your dad's dream come true.

Want a drink?

Rum and Gatorade.

Gatorade has those electrolytes. They
combat any possible negative effects of

the booze. Dad, it's 11 a .m.

Creme de menthe and soda?

Hello.

I miss you so much, Jim. Where have you
been?

I have been prepping for a role, and you
must not call me here.

I love you, Jim.

I need you here with me. There's nobody
like you.

I need you.

You're the devil.

No, you're a rock star. You're Bam Bam.
You're Bam Bam from the Flintstone Green

Chap. I need some Bam Bam, Jim Jam.

Ellen, your Mr. Right is just around the
corner, and you will find him, I

promise. Even if you never find him.

I gotta go. Bye.

Dad, what you just said to Ellen didn't
make any sense.

It's how I said it that's important.

Hello.

Mary on the line. Those pesky crank
callers.

Listen, I need you to take me to the
store. There's a big one -day -only

towel event, and there's no limit per
customer.

Jim, they will never be this cheap
again.

Right away.

Ellen is out of control. She's totally
stalking you, Dad.

Cool, huh?

Ethan, think about it.

I mean, your dad has a 28 -year -old hot
stalker chick.

How many of your friends' dads can say
that?

None. Get rid of her, Dad. She's going
to do something scary, guaranteed.

No problemo. I got this under control.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Ow. Okay.

Yeah.

Cam Fong.

Hello, number two son of Jim Jarlowski.

You and I have some business to discuss.

Earlier today, a package arrived at
Neotronic Arts containing extremely rare

sneakers.

Nykumas, how do you know about this?

Are they the size 10 high tops?

Yes. Excellent.

Get them for me.

Why would I get them for you?

Because I need the original in order to
make knockoffs so I can flood the

market. But my friend needs those shoes
to pay for an operation.

This contains all of your financial,
medical, and educational records.

If I give this disc to my team of highly
trained computer experts, you will

cease to exist.

You're taking my identity hostage?

No buts, ni kumas.

You pulled from dance with my father.
You're practically family now. And you

would not help out a family member?

That saddens me.

Nyakumas, Ethan, it is a matter of
honor.

Tell me more about Ledby and Johnny. You
grew up surrounded by them?

The ones I grew up around aren't the
lipstick type.

They're more into overhauling diesel
engines and installing storm windows.

No lipstick?

The younger, more radical lesbians are
dressing like sorority girls, you know,

hair scrunchies and knee socks just to
annoy the older ones like my mother.

Some are even going on the wiener as a
political act to really torture the old

guard.

You guys talk about lesbians like
they're zebras in a wildlife

Nobody asks to be made the way they are,
Brie.

Cowboy, I'm maybe not the guy to ask for
advice in the romance department.

Not much personal experience.

A little experience.

Shut up.

You mean you're a... Shh.

Tell one person I'll hack your credit
rating back into the Dark Ages.

Or you could be my first protege.

Okay?

First thing to learn, get yourself a
velour tracksuit.

All right? It's been proven if you can
get a woman to touch your clothes,

there's a 63 % chance you're going to
see some action.

Really? Yeah, it's a fact backed by hard
scientific evidence.

That's her.

Oh, my dear God. What is it? She bought
remote -controlled vibrating panties.

Remote -control what?

One dozen cell phone vibration modules
are linked in parallel inside the panty

lining to create a polyorgasmic
experience.

Okay, so she wants me to meet her, M -E
-A -T, at the Churley Burger on

Marine Drive.

Maybe I'm not yet ready for your world,
cowboy.

Nonsense.

Here.

I'm going to hook you up with my
personal shopper, Xavier, and he's going

you up with some touchable duds. I'm
going to get you started, little player.

Huh? Knuckle, knuckle, knuckle.

Hey, buddy.

Hey.

I was going to win those shoes for you,
but now... What are you talking about?

When I went to my parents' place to get
my nunchucks for the motion capture

sequence, I got grabbed by two of Cam
Fong's thugs and tossed into his

limousine. Cam Fong knows about the
Nikumas. One of his operatives must have

told him about the shipment.

Anyway, Cam told me that if I don't get
him those Nikumas so he can bootleg

them, he's going to obliterate my
identity.

Gosh, Ethan.

Were there leprechauns dancing to sea
shanties in the background during the

scary shakedown?

That's the worst lie I have ever heard.

Besides, I don't need your help to win
this.

Well, good, because I can't help you.
Because you want the shoes.

Yes. No, it's complicated.

It's simple.

You're acting like a selfish creep, and
I am going to win those shoes.

You all know the drill. The silver
markers on the body's articulation

record idiosyncratic bone movement.

The way you walk.

is exactly what we see in the virtual
world, whether you're Dwight the Turtle,

Skater Dude, or Malkoff.

Let the virtual beatdown begin.

Ah, good.

More witnesses to the destruction.

Sorry, I'm late, guys. Oh, the lure.

It's so soft -looking.

John Doe, it's so nice.

It's like fur.

Like a delicate woodland creature.

Ethan, you should pick one of these bad
boys up. Why? So you can distract me

with your constant fondling? You wish.

Besides, as soon as Steve sees my
tribute to the classic 90s game show

Gladiators, those nycomas are as good as
mine.

American Gladiators. Oh, the excitement
that was Powerball, the Atlasphere, and

Breakthrough and Conquer.

My heart -stopping homage to the cinema
stylings of Stephen Chow and his 2004

Golden Globe -nominated martial arts
masterpiece Kung Fu Hustle is guaranteed

win me those sneakers.

Isn't homage French for stolen?

Fancy. Your absorbed twin is bilingual.

The remote for the panties is in the
left hand of the clown's release statue.

Yes, it is.

I'll return the cart. I'll pull around
and pick you up. Okay.

Ah!

You just gave me a stroke. Carol's here
with me. Are you freaking nuts?

Freaking nuts about you, my sweet?
You're so deafening.

Yeah,

that's the problem. You just see me as a
pretty face. I'm a talent, too, and

you're going to see that. Now get out.

See?

Okay,

little miss, I can do better than you.

I'm director here. We're going to
capture a series of Stephen Chow -like

which will string together into a
totally kick -ass sequence.

Breathe. Good to go, Ethan.

Make Mr. Chow proud.

First move, the screaming orchid.

That was pathetic.

Sounds like young grasshoppers
experiencing fear.

I mock your weakness.

Now, come at me.

With the imperial chopstick rebuke.

Oh, my God. Did I hurt it? I mean, you?
You did

that on purpose. No, it was an accident.

Right. First, you lie about Asian
gangsters, and now you're hitting me

cheap shots.

Chondo, what the hell is this?

It's to protect your absorbed twin.

He'll soon be dead, but he shouldn't
have to spend his last days on Earth in

pain.

I want my operation, damn it.

Ellen, my wife's coming back. You

understand? Out.

Jim, I love you. You're my everything.

Without you, I might as well not exist.
I try and picture a world without you.

I know, I know.

Sweetheart, I'm going to call you
tomorrow noon, okay?

Really? Yeah.

for true, really.

Or I'll tell Carol everything.

Oh, Jim.

I can live again.

No, no. You gotta go. I mean it. Go.

Go.

Out.

Jim, I've been waiting for ages.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought you were
coming around here.

Sis, you are the sunshine and joy in my
life. I can't imagine a world without

you.

That is the sweetest little pick -me -up
I've ever had. I love you so much.

It even took the time to cut out each
individual letter.

You deserve that, sweetie.

Hey, Dudley.

How was your casual encounter of the bi
-curious kind?

Don't judge me, John.

What are you talking about?

Oh, man.

Oh, cowboy.

Look at me.

Something's not right. I can tell. What
happened? What is it?

Well... You see... Jennifer!

Cowboy! Since when is my sister a
lesbian?

And what are you doing hooking up with
random guys on the internet? You make it

sound so sleazy, but when you hook up on
the net, you brag.

Oh my God, this is going to make me a
bad writer for the rest of my life. You?

What about me? I pleasured myself to
your images. I'm the one wearing

panties. Get out your PDA. You have to
erase every email, picture, text,

message, any evidence that this ever
happened. Done.

I thought I couldn't even look at you.

Me, you either.

I know the color and diameter of your
nipples.

I know your ten favorite positions.

family is a disaster.

What do you expect when our parents die
in a murder? It was the worst Christmas

ever.

You want to get touched up with me?

You know what?

Yes.

Okay, Caitlin.

It's time to take us on a journey deep
down into the darkest core of the

park. Ethan, I'm Lace, and you're Turbo,
and we're going toe -to -toe on a

gladiator -on -gladiator joust.

Now raise your pugil stick and let's do
this. Should I swig some moonshine

first? Do not mock the proud American
gladiator heritage.

It's single -handedly... Whoa!

Clean up in aisle five.

Rematch! I wouldn't have guessed you
guys were into the rough stuff.

Shut up, Bree.

Ready? Oh, please.

Hey, where are you taking that shoe?

Shoe?

Chub. Even I saw that one coming, E.

You're already dead. Those Nikumas are
mine.

Oh, Ethan, you're so wrong.

You see, you're the trailer park.

And I'm the tornado.

And the only people who know about this
are me, Jennifer, and you.

Promise me you won't say anything.

I think each of our secrets cancels out
the other.

Don't take it so hard, man. It was a
fluke accident.

Your mojo just needs a little me time.

I'm never having sex ever again.

Life is now meaningless.

Cam, it's Jim.

Jim, my man.

What's shaking?

I'm in a fix here. I've got a stalker
and she's out of control.

Oh, really?

Stalkers are great fun.

Not this one. Not anymore.

She's got psycho on me. I need your
help, buddy.

Relax, relax.

What's her name?

Ellen. Ellen Steele.

She's in the book. She drives a purple
Toyota.

Consider it done.

Want to come meet me at the spa for a
four -handed melon rub?

No, I'd love to, but I've got an
audition at Neotronic Art right after

done with his silly competition.

We'll go together.

I love a good competition.

Bree, are the sequences loaded onto the
master server?

Ready. I'm going to show these in no
particular order, and on my honor, Carol

has no previous knowledge whatsoever as
to whose is whose. Right, Carol?

One caveat, the graphics, they're good,
but they're not finished quality. This

is just for judging purposes only.

So, Carol, on three, judge.

One, two, three, judge.

Carol? You young people work so hard and
are just so imaginative.

Second sequence.

That was just so moving and so clever.

Do I smell a winner here, Carol?

Yes, Stephen. I think maybe you do.

Because I was born in the year of the
dragon, I choose Sheldon Suckers.

Congratulations,

Ethan. That's what I'm talking about.

Survival of the fittest. You know, I
think I'm going to put both of these in

special feature section of the Bornex
game. And if these puppies don't test

well, then my name isn't Steve.

Ben.

Way to go, Potters. Fantastic job.

Congratulations. You did a great job.
Good, healthy competition.

Listen, as a token of the company's
appreciation, Carol, would you like to

grab a little dinner?

Oh. Oh, Stephen, I really shouldn't.

Oh, okay.

Well, okay.

Yeah? Okay, let's go.

Good job, guys.

Caitlin, I didn't have a choice.

I'm glad you got your shoes.

What fun season. Thank you.

Email.

Would someone send me email?

I could send you email.

Then I'd have to get one of those email
machines now, wouldn't I?

I was hoping you'd say that.

For me?

Now you're in the loop, Carol. And I
took the liberty of downloading all of

Ethan's old e -mails off the master
server. That's how I found out he liked

speakers.

Gotta keep tabs on the troops.

Thoughtful of you, Stephen.

I can't wait to read them.

Let's go back to my place for a drink.

No.

Let's go bar hunting. I love this urban
music. It makes me feel so young and

poor. I know a place that's got some
rock and reggae. Let's check it out.

woo -hoo!

Tim?

Is that you?

You can accept these. You won them fair
and clear.

No, I insist.

Your mo -cap sequence was brilliant.

I'll find another way to raise the
money.

Look, take these, and you won't need to
raise the money. Okay? Just take them.

I'll take them.

Camphong.

Hi, Susan.

You were telling the truth.

Dad, how did you get past security?

I bribed them. We're here for my
audition.

Dad, it's almost 10 p .m. No one's
holding auditions now.

Besides, that's not how it works.

You have the shoes.

How about that disc?

These Nikumas are knockoffs.

Shoddy ones at that.

How can you tell?

Courier is the world's most boring font.

A real Nikuma uses the Arial font.

Much more interesting.

It's true.

Courier does suck the joy out of any
word it touches.

Jim, let's go get some drinks.

Damn good idea.

Caitlin, don't worry. We'll find a way
to raise the money to remove your

absorbed twin.

Absorbed twin?

Is this absorbed twin male?

Um, yes.

Absorbed male twin.

Nature's most potent aphrodisiac.

Condensed testosterone that drives women
crazy.

Well, I guess that explains the violent
mood swings.

Chinatown Free Clinic. Tonight at
midnight.

Dr. Chan will remove your surplus
brother.

Uh, I, uh... Well, we appreciate it, Mr.
Fong.

Ken Fong, can I please have your
autograph? My friends over at the Puma

Cougar League never believed that I met
you in a genuine non -sexual social

situation. Ah, Cougars.

So abundant.

So experienced.

So... Pragmatic.

Thanks.

Mr. Fong, I just wanted to say you're my
inspiration.

Kambam, thank you, ma 'am. I'm
impressed.

You know my player alias.

I was a player once myself.

I'm Cowboy.

I used to be. The Cancer Cowboy?

That was me.

Nonsense.

Once a player, always a player.

Jim, let's go drinking.

Let's go, Cam Ben.

Uh, Mr. Fong, about my identity, the
disc, uh...

Great.

Now I'm a man with no Nikumas and no
identity.

Cam Fong's right, man.

You can take the player out of the game,
but you can't take the game out of the

player. You're not a player anymore?

Did we miss something?

No, I... I didn't miss anything.

Reed.

What? I need your help.

Actually, Cowboy needs your help.

Just listen.

Sometimes I feel like my sneakers are my
only friend.

All right.

Yeah?

Oh, dear.

Oh,

dear.

Trust me, man, you're going to want to
see this. Really, John, I just want to

home and I want to toss up and I want to
forget yesterday ever happened. I think

this will help you forget.

Ladies, may I present this evening's
focus group leader, Cowboy, an executive

here at Neotronic Art.

Cowboy enjoys working with power tools
and discussing his feelings for hours at

a time while preparing dinners that
aren't at all fussy.

preferring instead hearty, earthy fare
like tortilla chips and salsa.

Cowboy, take it away.

You owe me for this.

Are they really all vicarious?

After a few drinks, every woman is
vicarious.

Thank you, John.

Hi there, ladies.

Look, I'm going to be real here, all
right?

This focus group stuff is really just a
bunch of paperwork.

But I, on the other hand, have a
Neotronic Arts client card.

Why don't we all just check off the
excellent, the very good boxes in this

little survey forum here, and I escort
all of us to a little karaoke spot that

know about.

Private rooms, unionized barmaids, a
little touch of leather.

John and I here will be your caring and
most sensitive hosts, please.

Let's just all gather around.

And touch.

A

landmark

arrest was made this evening when
Stephen Letkowitz... A senior executive

city's largest video game company was
the first to be pulled over for

Vancouver's new anti -distraction law,
passed recently to discourage drivers

from using cell phones and PDAs while
driving.

Letkowitz, pictured here, was charged
with a DUII, or driving under the

influence of information, for trying to
read email while operating a vehicle.

Thank you.