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So then I had to leave medical school to
look after my sick grandmother. It was
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a tough, tough decision, but Norma
needed me right up until the end.
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And it was just sort of one thing after
the other, really, but I always felt
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this incredible pull, you know, like
there was a calling, you know, calling
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literally. There was a voice going,
Simon?
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Speaking. Speak of a doctor. All right,
then.
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So this portering thing's all just
temporary, but it's good to see how it
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works down here.
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Sweating it out in the old engine room.
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So what's your ambition? I mean,
obviously it's not all this.
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Well, deep down, right now, I'm secretly
hoping that you shut the fuck up before
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I smash your face in. Cool, right. Okay,
my friend. That's a fistful of genuine
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Chinese Viagra right there. Thank you
very much. Let's go.
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00:01:17,890 --> 00:01:20,190
You're filling Chinese Viagra in
basement corridor?
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No, I'm filling out of date paracetamol
covered in permanent marker.
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Well, that's both illegal and immoral.
And I don't give a shit. When it comes
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portering, there's only one rule.
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When I say stop, you stop.
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Stop! Stop.
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He could have killed me.
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That's Parkman. He's registered blind.
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But you let him drive.
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Whatever that thing was.
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Laundry train. No choice.
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They tried to stop him, but he
threatened to sue them for disability
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Stop!
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You're really not getting the hang of
this, are you?
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Relax.
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He's alive.
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What happened?
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This golf ball smashed into your face.
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I am Tillman.
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I am Simon.
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Oh, scheisse. Your baby bike is broken.
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Oh, no.
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No, it's fine. It's actually a mixed
-mode commuter bike.
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Amazing. High five.
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Can I own a Brompton?
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Yeah.
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I like him.
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He's a cock, which means he needs to
supper all day.
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Co -black, Ben and Gina Paul. Repeat. Co
-black, Ben and Gina Paul.
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What? Co -black.
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He's dead.
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Either that or he's been holding his
breath for the last two hours.
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Dr. Kelly, you called for the porter? I
believe we're dealing with a code black.
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Who's she?
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Simon, new porter.
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I'm delighted to be part of the team.
I'm actually hoping to be a doctor
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00:02:42,690 --> 00:02:45,770
one day. Oh, great. Going to work your
way up. A lot of people do that. Really?
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00:02:45,910 --> 00:02:49,570
No. This is Rabbi Durham. I need you to
get rid of him so that I can fill this
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ward with people who are barely alive.
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Right. Where are we taking him?
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00:02:54,030 --> 00:02:55,630
Well, you could put him in the
paediatric ward.
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00:02:56,190 --> 00:02:57,490
Scare the shit out of the little
bastards.
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Personally, I'd just stick to the walk.
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Whatever you do, he's R .A .P.,
therefore F .E .P. F .E .P.? Someone
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00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:07,700
problem. Have you certified him yet? Oh,
don't tell me. Sorry, teeny bit of an
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00:03:07,700 --> 00:03:08,700
emergency.
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00:03:10,220 --> 00:03:12,360
Right, what seems to be the problem
here?
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Poor man.
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Poor, poor man.
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Hi.
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00:03:29,870 --> 00:03:31,090
Seaman? No, it's Simon.
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You're new here, aren't you, Seaman?
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What's a porter, porter?
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It's my name.
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Porter's my surname.
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Are you okay?
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Someone's put Seaman on my badge.
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No. In permanent marker.
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Okay, so who's going to help me with
this poor soul?
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00:03:49,950 --> 00:03:52,570
Well, will he be needing a full body
wrap and bottom plug?
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He will. Well, seeing as it's his first
day, I'd say that that is a job for
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Seaman. Okay.
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I'm looking for someone who just tried
to commit suicide.
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He goes by the name of Mark.
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00:04:18,930 --> 00:04:21,329
And he needs an X -ray of his rectum.
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You must be Mark.
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00:04:27,230 --> 00:04:28,390
So what happened?
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I took an overdose.
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The packet said take two, three times a
day. But I took three, three times a
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day. Plus the symptoms persisted.
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I didn't consult my doctor.
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Why are we x -raying you, crazy boy?
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I also stabbed myself with this.
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Then I ate the fork.
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This broom?
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I'll never find it.
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00:04:54,600 --> 00:05:01,260
So, apparently, he left medical
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00:05:01,260 --> 00:05:03,460
school to look after his sick
grandmother.
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00:05:04,240 --> 00:05:05,240
That's awful.
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00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:08,610
Can't they just let you back in? I mean,
it's not like you failed all of your
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00:05:08,610 --> 00:05:09,610
exams or anything.
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00:05:09,690 --> 00:05:13,150
No. No, no. In fact, that's exactly what
I said to the dean.
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00:05:14,330 --> 00:05:16,470
So now you're here, working as a porter.
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00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:17,850
You know what?
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00:05:18,210 --> 00:05:22,590
I think your dream will come true. And
that badge won't read Seaman Porter
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00:05:22,590 --> 00:05:23,590
Porter anymore.
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00:05:24,170 --> 00:05:25,330
It'll read Dr.
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Seaman Porter.
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Doctor.
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It's Simon.
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What are you doing?
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Didn't you know?
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Their feet are lucky.
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00:05:36,840 --> 00:05:38,560
You should hold the rabbi's foot, too.
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00:05:39,140 --> 00:05:42,140
I'm not 100 % certain that's correct.
Oh, come on, hold his lucky foot.
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Don't you want to be a doctor?
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Unless he's scared.
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00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:49,200
No, I'm respecting him by not touching
him. It's a sign of respect.
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Oh, it's sweet. You're screaming.
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You know, when I was a student, I kept
thinking I was going to reach out and
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grab him, you know, like a zombie.
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Miss, I'm not nervous.
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As I said before, it's just...
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Yep, he's a middle -class twat. You know
the kids about medical school, don't
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you? All that bullshit about his
grandmother.
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There's a German word for a guy like
him. A young man who is trying too hard
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to impress a female colleague on the
first day of a new job.
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00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:31,100
He's unlikely to keep. You're sticking
up for him? He could be the coolest guy.
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Look at this amazing bike.
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A fucking Brompton.
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This guy.
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To put a spoon up your ass, you must be
pretty unhappy.
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00:06:42,090 --> 00:06:43,470
Well, maybe he's just after the
attention.
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I mean, he's here every week.
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Aren't you, Mark?
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I do kill myself a lot.
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00:06:48,330 --> 00:06:50,970
Why do you think he stabbed himself with
a plastic knife? Maybe he's over
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-ambitious. Or maybe he's just a little
bit mental.
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I prefer troubled.
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She's got it all wrong.
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It's the world that's the master of the
earth. It chooses to ignore your cries
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of pain.
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But I, Tillman, will cure you.
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00:07:05,030 --> 00:07:06,030
Ja!
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00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,240
So anyway, he was talking to me whilst I
was cleaning the slick off him.
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Mostly old person gibberish. But then he
just said the most amazing thing.
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He reached up and he held my hand.
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And then he just stared at me.
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Like he was looking right into my soul.
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And he said, I have seen him.
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I have seen the face of Jehovah.
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And then he just told me the answer to
all of it. You know, love, death.
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I just thought, that is it, you know?
That is so it.
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Rabbi Dolem actually told you the
meaning of life?
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Yeah, totally.
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And it was just so true, you know?
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So simple.
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It was like I was actually talking to
God.
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Wow.
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So what was it?
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What did he say?
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He said... No, hold on.
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00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:08,060
Something about ducks.
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00:08:09,080 --> 00:08:10,080
No.
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Sugar.
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It's totally gone.
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Oh, well, never mind.
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Anyway, there we go. Bottom plugged,
wrapped up, neat and tidy. All yours.
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00:08:23,820 --> 00:08:24,960
Which way's the mortuary?
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Basement, Queen's Building.
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00:08:28,480 --> 00:08:29,480
You're not coming with me?
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No, no, there's just so much business up
here. Two more limp dicks and a guy
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coming for a box of capitals. You do it.
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00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:38,090
Aren't you going to be supervising me
for the whole week? No, you're a
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There's nothing more I can teach you.
Hey, you're like Luke Skywalker if he
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00:08:43,429 --> 00:08:45,190
stayed on Dagobah with Yoda.
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OK.
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Take him, I will.
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Where am I going?
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Just use the force. No, no, I don't know
where I'm going. Frankie, Frankie!
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I don't know where I'm going!
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you doing this?
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Because I want to help you, my friend.
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You still have the gift of life. You
can't just give that away.
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Look at me. I have nothing.
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And I'm a happy man.
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Ask me why.
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Why? Because I live my life like a real
German man.
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Not in a pussy. I appreciate the simple
things.
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Please don't touch me.
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00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,740
I created.
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00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:50,520
A playlist for you. Hard Rock,
Metallica, Rammstein, The Boys of the
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It's on shuffle.
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00:09:54,220 --> 00:09:58,080
And the films of Jason Statham.
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If you were dead, you would never be
able to see these films or the sequels
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00:10:03,880 --> 00:10:05,920
these films ever again.
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00:10:06,260 --> 00:10:07,300
Don't forget that.
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00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:11,520
See you later.
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00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:10,480
Shit, shit, shit.
193
00:12:17,010 --> 00:12:19,050
No, actually, that's not important. Who
is this?
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00:12:19,830 --> 00:12:24,530
That's not important either. Dad, what's
going on? Dad? I'm afraid I have some
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00:12:24,530 --> 00:12:29,050
bad news. Your father is in hospital.
196
00:12:29,330 --> 00:12:30,550
Good. Is he all right?
197
00:12:32,070 --> 00:12:33,210
Well... Are you one of the doctors?
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00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,330
Yes.
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00:12:36,130 --> 00:12:37,370
Yes, I am. I'm Dr.
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00:12:37,610 --> 00:12:41,730
Spock... I'm Dr.
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00:12:42,010 --> 00:12:43,010
Spocklington. That's me.
202
00:12:43,230 --> 00:12:44,230
He's not going to...
203
00:12:49,260 --> 00:12:55,980
I think that... We think that your
father had a heart
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00:12:55,980 --> 00:12:56,980
attack. Is it serious?
205
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,100
I'm afraid so.
206
00:13:00,100 --> 00:13:01,840
In fact, it could hardly be more
serious.
207
00:13:02,060 --> 00:13:03,060
Oh, my God.
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00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,860
Every day I tell him to check his
cholesterol.
209
00:13:05,420 --> 00:13:06,420
He's going to be all right.
210
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,580
That depends... I need to know.
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00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:11,560
...on what you mean by all right.
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00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:14,020
I mean, is he going to pull through?
213
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:16,980
It can have to be more specific. I
mean...
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00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:20,480
Well, how was the last time you saw him?
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00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:24,040
Fine. He had a little angina, but... Oh,
my God.
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00:13:24,660 --> 00:13:27,060
Is he going to die, Doctor? Just tell
me. Is he going to die?
217
00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:28,520
No.
218
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,220
No, I can safely say he's not going to
die.
219
00:13:31,580 --> 00:13:32,920
Thank you. Thank you, Doctor.
220
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:34,900
Can I speak to him?
221
00:13:35,280 --> 00:13:39,140
No. No, because he can't speak. He needs
to rest his voice.
222
00:13:57,390 --> 00:13:58,369
He's listening.
223
00:13:58,370 --> 00:13:59,370
He's on speaker.
224
00:14:44,940 --> 00:14:49,160
You see the problem? What, you
bludgeoned a dead rabbi with his granny
225
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:51,620
attacked me. A dead person attacked you.
226
00:14:52,140 --> 00:14:53,460
Concentrate on the second word of that
sentence.
227
00:14:53,820 --> 00:14:55,780
No, because he wasn't dead.
228
00:14:56,140 --> 00:14:58,320
The lift malfunctioned and then he came
alive again.
229
00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:01,420
Fuck's sake, they all do that. It's
called the death twitch. And there was
230
00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:05,960
malfunction. That was a test. And you
failed. Oh, what? Oh, look, lift key.
231
00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:07,700
Oh, I was in charge all along.
232
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:09,780
This isn't funny, Frankie. We could both
get in serious trouble.
233
00:15:09,980 --> 00:15:10,980
We, no, you.
234
00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:14,980
You grew up semen. It's the simplest
test of nerve, and you go mental.
235
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:19,240
If this is some sort of initiation...
The first rule of portering. Never
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00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,820
the patients, even the dead ones.
237
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,120
I don't think he's dead.
238
00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:26,640
Maybe we should ask Dr Kelly to double
-check. The second rule of portering.
239
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:30,600
We do as we're told, without question.
Let's get the poor bastard back to the
240
00:15:30,600 --> 00:15:32,100
mortuary before someone notices.
241
00:15:33,240 --> 00:15:38,080
Oh, um... Um, there was something else.
242
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:40,750
I thought I should mention it.
243
00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:45,430
When I was moving him, his phone sort of
went off.
244
00:15:45,970 --> 00:15:51,150
Please tell me you didn't answer it.
Again, not deliberate, but I had a
245
00:15:51,150 --> 00:15:58,110
chat with his family, and the upshot is
the daughter still
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00:15:58,110 --> 00:15:59,890
thinks he's alive.
247
00:16:01,050 --> 00:16:03,150
Alive? And she's going to the hospital
now.
248
00:16:03,470 --> 00:16:04,650
Sorry. Fuck.
249
00:16:05,030 --> 00:16:06,470
This is your mess.
250
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:10,700
However, seeing as I'm on my final
warning, I need you to keep quiet and do
251
00:16:10,700 --> 00:16:11,239
tell you.
252
00:16:11,240 --> 00:16:14,780
So they actually cut up dead people for
a living? Yeah, but they treat the
253
00:16:14,780 --> 00:16:16,560
departed with respect and dignity.
254
00:16:16,940 --> 00:16:17,579
We're busy.
255
00:16:17,580 --> 00:16:18,760
Just leave the stiff outside.
256
00:16:22,640 --> 00:16:23,720
Is it Jennifer Aniston?
257
00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:25,540
Oh, uh, no.
258
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:26,980
Just leave the stiff outside.
259
00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,580
This is Tillman.
260
00:16:29,220 --> 00:16:30,280
Open and be there.
261
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,360
Nasty. Really took a chunk out of the
poor bastard, didn't he?
262
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,079
Kids, were it?
263
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,080
Not exactly.
264
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,859
Simon battered him with a mobile. He's
dead.
265
00:17:06,300 --> 00:17:07,680
Bit of a girl, isn't he?
266
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:11,020
I'm sorry, but I don't think feeling
trepidation in the presence of mutilated
267
00:17:11,020 --> 00:17:12,680
dead bodies is in the slightest bit
unreasonable.
268
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:17,690
Christ. Or maybe the property's just
nervous.
269
00:17:18,829 --> 00:17:21,589
Sandwich. Actually, I'm fine for you.
270
00:17:23,089 --> 00:17:25,630
Having a party?
271
00:17:26,630 --> 00:17:28,610
Birthday. One of the pathologists.
272
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:30,490
Death begins at 40.
273
00:17:30,750 --> 00:17:32,190
Took us ages to think of the theme.
274
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:34,030
Yeah, it's really cool.
275
00:17:34,750 --> 00:17:37,410
Looks like you've made a lot of effort.
Oh, I've only just started.
276
00:17:37,690 --> 00:17:42,310
Give me two hours and this place will be
a perfect facsimile.
277
00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:45,100
Of the Judeo -Christian vision of hell?
278
00:17:45,660 --> 00:17:46,960
Can you appear in?
279
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:48,840
Bit of filler.
280
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:50,020
Touch of foundation.
281
00:17:50,980 --> 00:17:52,620
Nick and eyelid from Mr Bull.
282
00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,340
Yeah, it'll be good, isn't it?
283
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,740
How much? 50 euros.
284
00:17:57,260 --> 00:17:59,280
50? We're not having a euro.
285
00:17:59,520 --> 00:18:04,240
Or we could leave it. His family's about
to arrive any minute.
286
00:18:04,580 --> 00:18:06,400
I just don't know where I'm going to
find a bureau de change.
287
00:18:06,760 --> 00:18:10,400
It's not this hour. In return for a
strike of euros, mate. Golf ball.
288
00:18:11,120 --> 00:18:12,120
Till it will be.
289
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:26,360
Didn't mention I'm also scared of
clowns. I'll have to do.
290
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,000
We've only got a few minutes before they
fill this bed.
291
00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:30,960
Lift up his shirt.
292
00:18:31,780 --> 00:18:33,020
Okay, so you understand the plan.
293
00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:36,360
You let him have a quick look so they
all think he's alive.
294
00:18:37,060 --> 00:18:38,520
And then pull the plug.
295
00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:42,000
You put on a show. Rabbi doesn't make
it. Problems often.
296
00:18:44,420 --> 00:18:45,940
Oh, God.
297
00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,620
Calm down. It's too fast. I thought you
wanted to be a doctor.
298
00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:50,960
Believe it or not, I've never tried
to...
299
00:18:51,260 --> 00:18:53,300
re -kill a dead man in front of his
grieving family before.
300
00:18:54,360 --> 00:18:55,780
You've got your disguise on.
301
00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,400
Doctor!
302
00:19:04,380 --> 00:19:05,380
Doctor Spocklington.
303
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:07,320
We spoke earlier.
304
00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:10,360
This is my uncle Mendel.
305
00:19:11,180 --> 00:19:13,600
Doctor Spocklington, Doctor Mendel
Dolem.
306
00:19:14,540 --> 00:19:15,860
Doctor. That is correct.
307
00:19:17,100 --> 00:19:21,290
Now, would that be, um, doctor isn't
very clever, but not, um... actually a
308
00:19:21,290 --> 00:19:24,410
doctor. You mean do I have a PhD? Yes,
are you a PhD doctor?
309
00:19:24,650 --> 00:19:27,990
Well, doctor, while I do have a
doctorate in cerebral remodeling after
310
00:19:27,990 --> 00:19:31,570
injury, I'm also employed as consultant
neurologist at King's Square Hospital.
311
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:36,390
So in full answer to your initial
question, I'm both a real doctor and
312
00:19:36,490 --> 00:19:37,490
very clever indeed.
313
00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:44,510
So pale, doctor.
314
00:19:45,810 --> 00:19:46,990
So desperately pale.
315
00:19:47,250 --> 00:19:48,250
And his tachycardia.
316
00:19:48,590 --> 00:19:52,230
It's a real concern, surely. Speak
English, Mendel. His heart is racing.
317
00:19:54,730 --> 00:19:57,850
I wouldn't worry about that. I don't
agree, Doctor. Have you called
318
00:19:58,610 --> 00:20:00,770
I don't think that's necessary. I'll
probably stop soon.
319
00:20:01,270 --> 00:20:02,270
No, not stop.
320
00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:03,670
It will get better.
321
00:20:04,030 --> 00:20:06,430
Any second now. I still think a
consultation is...
322
00:20:17,870 --> 00:20:24,710
all right i'm fine very calm very very
calm and very very relaxed so
323
00:20:24,710 --> 00:20:30,530
cold dad why is he so cold doctor what
is actually wrong with him very
324
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:34,250
complicated obviously obviously although
elderly care medicine is not my
325
00:20:34,250 --> 00:20:39,430
speciality surely you can indulge me as
a professional courtesy you're concerned
326
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:45,230
about his heart yes exactly extremely uh
we've actually run some tests
327
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:53,500
ECG. Echo.
328
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:56,600
Chem.
329
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,340
Seven.
330
00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:02,720
Pop -a -dom.
331
00:21:02,940 --> 00:21:05,660
Sorry? I said we're doing some tests.
You said pop -a -dom. No, I didn't.
332
00:21:05,720 --> 00:21:09,420
Rebecca, confirm, please. Dr.
Spockington just said pop -a -dom. Stop
333
00:21:09,440 --> 00:21:11,180
Mendel. Not everyone can be on the
spectrum.
334
00:21:11,500 --> 00:21:12,500
I had one.
335
00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:14,280
CT scan.
336
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,360
CT scan. Yep, for his heart. It's a
heart CT.
337
00:21:18,160 --> 00:21:19,920
If they pop it on, that would be
idiotic.
338
00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:28,280
These tests, you must have some results
by now. Yeah, the tests have proved
339
00:21:28,280 --> 00:21:32,580
quite inclusively. In fact, there's very
little doubt that your brother is
340
00:21:32,580 --> 00:21:38,240
very... very... What on earth are you
doing?
341
00:21:40,100 --> 00:21:41,100
He's a heart doctor.
342
00:21:42,300 --> 00:21:43,440
He's having a heart attack.
343
00:21:43,680 --> 00:21:44,700
Dr. Sparklington!
344
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:46,240
Jesus!
345
00:21:47,980 --> 00:21:48,980
My God, it stopped.
346
00:21:51,440 --> 00:21:52,440
Mental hit, not breathing.
347
00:21:52,820 --> 00:21:53,880
I'll do something, Doctor.
348
00:21:55,680 --> 00:21:58,440
Dr. Bucklington, help me. The
defibrillator, quick.
349
00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:02,660
Dr. Bucklington!
350
00:22:31,010 --> 00:22:34,170
Aren't you on a final warning for
selling Chinese Viagra? I don't see how
351
00:22:34,170 --> 00:22:37,110
relevant. Because you're clearly lying
to me. And for some reason, this idiot's
352
00:22:37,110 --> 00:22:38,110
dressed as a doctor.
353
00:22:39,010 --> 00:22:40,250
That rabbi was dead.
354
00:22:40,450 --> 00:22:44,890
But you certified him. I got called away
to see railing guy.
355
00:22:45,170 --> 00:22:48,190
So you didn't actually examine him?
356
00:22:48,550 --> 00:22:53,990
In fact, we're all lucky Dr. Porter was
here to save the day.
357
00:22:56,140 --> 00:22:59,140
All right, what do you want, Mamie
Knopfer? What if we agree never to
358
00:22:59,140 --> 00:23:01,660
any of this ever again? I think that is
an excellent idea.
359
00:23:07,860 --> 00:23:09,260
Thanks for sticking up for me.
360
00:23:10,220 --> 00:23:11,580
Reported. Stick together.
361
00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:12,979
First rule.
362
00:23:12,980 --> 00:23:15,900
I thought the first rule was do exactly
as you say, or was it stop when you say
363
00:23:15,900 --> 00:23:20,100
stop? Okay, the point is, I make the
rules, you just listen.
364
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:22,660
Scheiße. Look.
365
00:23:36,750 --> 00:23:37,750
This is serious.
366
00:23:37,810 --> 00:23:40,230
The love of music is the last thing to
go.
367
00:23:40,510 --> 00:23:41,509
What are we going to do?
368
00:23:41,510 --> 00:23:42,510
I have a plan.
369
00:23:42,710 --> 00:23:47,090
You just have to do exactly everything I
tell you. Got it.
370
00:23:50,810 --> 00:23:52,210
Don't try and talk me out of it.
371
00:23:52,510 --> 00:23:53,670
I've made up my mind.
372
00:23:54,590 --> 00:23:56,170
I'm really going to do it. Good.
373
00:23:57,090 --> 00:23:58,910
I think you should jump.
374
00:23:59,470 --> 00:24:00,550
You think I should jump?
375
00:24:00,750 --> 00:24:03,570
Definitely. What? You heard me. Come on.
376
00:24:04,170 --> 00:24:05,170
Jump.
377
00:24:05,550 --> 00:24:06,730
I will. I'm not joking.
378
00:24:07,050 --> 00:24:09,670
Neither am I. You're right. You're a
piece of shit.
379
00:24:09,890 --> 00:24:11,970
The world would be better off without
you.
380
00:24:12,790 --> 00:24:14,630
Jump. I'm about who?
381
00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:16,950
You want me to push you? Stay away from
me.
382
00:24:18,190 --> 00:24:19,190
Jump.
383
00:24:19,410 --> 00:24:20,950
Jump. Jump.
384
00:24:21,890 --> 00:24:23,110
Jump. Jump.
385
00:24:23,910 --> 00:24:24,930
Come on, guys.
386
00:24:25,570 --> 00:24:26,670
Jump. Jump.
387
00:24:26,950 --> 00:24:30,910
Jump. Jump. Is this really a good idea?
He seems very sure. Jump. Jump. Jump.
388
00:24:31,210 --> 00:24:32,470
Jump. Jump.
389
00:24:32,790 --> 00:24:34,050
Jump. Jump.
390
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,900
Jump, jump, jump, jump, jump, jump,
jump. Come on. Yeah.
391
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:46,200
Was that the plan?
392
00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:47,880
No.
393
00:24:49,280 --> 00:24:53,660
No, he was supposed to get mad at me and
hit me, and then I was supposed to
394
00:24:53,660 --> 00:24:55,840
touch him. It worked a little weapon.
395
00:25:08,270 --> 00:25:10,670
He just came to me when I was falling.
396
00:25:11,590 --> 00:25:14,770
Suddenly I wanted to live, to start
again, to enjoy myself.
397
00:25:16,430 --> 00:25:17,450
To masturbate.
398
00:25:19,610 --> 00:25:21,270
Actually, I was thinking about writing a
novel.
399
00:25:22,450 --> 00:25:23,450
That's good.
400
00:25:25,970 --> 00:25:27,550
They'd all given up on that rabbi.
401
00:25:27,950 --> 00:25:28,950
You didn't.
402
00:25:29,150 --> 00:25:31,450
Why? Maybe because he reminded me of
someone.
403
00:25:32,130 --> 00:25:33,370
Someone who never gave up on me.
404
00:25:34,010 --> 00:25:36,050
Even after the drug, failed marriages.
405
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:37,940
The incest accusations.
406
00:25:38,460 --> 00:25:41,340
Sometimes I wonder why the hell I'd do
this goddamn crazy job.
407
00:25:41,780 --> 00:25:43,180
Maybe it's because you care.
408
00:25:44,380 --> 00:25:45,700
I guess someone has to.
409
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,800
God, I want you. I know.
410
00:26:06,380 --> 00:26:08,160
She makes you like steel, yeah.
411
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:15,780
Lucy, that perfect nose, hair like spun
sugar. The way you imagine her,
412
00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:17,260
prefer go on to taste.
413
00:26:17,760 --> 00:26:19,040
Maybe the first two, yeah.
414
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:23,260
It's totally out of your league, Seaman.
She is Barcelona.
415
00:26:23,820 --> 00:26:27,860
You're just a man on your own, not even
part of a proper team, who's never
416
00:26:27,860 --> 00:26:32,480
played football before and who's got no
legs. That is how far out of your league
417
00:26:32,480 --> 00:26:33,480
she is.
418
00:26:33,620 --> 00:26:35,020
Yeah, but Frankie's right.
419
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:38,140
A woman like her belongs to the doctors.
420
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,600
It's the ancient way.
421
00:26:39,920 --> 00:26:42,340
Yeah, but I'm going to be a doctor one
day, and then we'll be together.
422
00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:46,460
This job isn't forever. I'm not... It's
not what I'm meant to do.
423
00:26:46,760 --> 00:26:47,760
I love this guy.
424
00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:53,040
Nothing can stop him. Ha! Like Arnie in
Terminator. Now we must drink heavy
425
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:54,080
-strength lager.
426
00:26:54,900 --> 00:26:56,820
Um, actually, I don't drink that much.
427
00:26:57,300 --> 00:27:00,260
You know, I'll have some champagne at
Christmas, maybe a toast for the
428
00:27:00,380 --> 00:27:01,960
but there's a general rule.
429
00:27:02,460 --> 00:27:04,580
Insane. Next year, whatever, you don't
take golf.
430
00:27:06,050 --> 00:27:07,550
Actually, all porters play golf.
431
00:27:07,850 --> 00:27:08,910
Tell them we'll teach you.
432
00:27:11,950 --> 00:27:14,570
It's getting late, so I'm going to pop
off.
433
00:27:18,630 --> 00:27:19,630
Shit.
434
00:27:21,850 --> 00:27:22,789
He's alive.
435
00:27:22,790 --> 00:27:26,090
I think the three of us are going to
make a hell of a team.
436
00:27:30,450 --> 00:27:31,450
Yeah.
437
00:27:36,940 --> 00:27:41,020
The new and exclusive hospital set
comedy series Porters continues on
438
00:27:41,020 --> 00:27:45,240
at 10, starring Rutger Hauer. While next
up, it's world -class stand -up comedy
439
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,100
live at the Apollo, hosted by Ramesh
Ranganathan.
31930
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