All language subtitles for Meet the Browns s04e27 The Home Alone
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1
00:00:04,490 --> 00:00:06,770
The show after this got to be the best
one.
2
00:00:11,190 --> 00:00:12,690
Look at that.
3
00:00:13,130 --> 00:00:14,190
Shut up.
4
00:00:14,410 --> 00:00:15,129
Hey, bro.
5
00:00:15,130 --> 00:00:16,370
I brought back your blender.
6
00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:17,730
That ain't mine.
7
00:00:18,670 --> 00:00:21,450
Wait a minute. You're trying to get away
from Edna again, ain't you?
8
00:00:21,890 --> 00:00:22,890
Yep.
9
00:00:25,070 --> 00:00:26,070
Still watching the game?
10
00:00:26,430 --> 00:00:27,570
No, it's been called.
11
00:00:28,110 --> 00:00:31,410
On the count of what? On the count of
I'm watching something else. I want to
12
00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:34,530
watch the game. I'm watching this. Well,
I want to watch the game. This might
13
00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:35,530
happen. Hey, Colonel.
14
00:00:35,910 --> 00:00:36,910
Hey, Will.
15
00:00:37,210 --> 00:00:38,450
How was the funeral?
16
00:00:38,830 --> 00:00:39,970
Oh, kind of dead.
17
00:00:43,450 --> 00:00:46,410
It's not nice to make fun of dead
people.
18
00:00:46,650 --> 00:00:49,190
Yes, because you could be married to the
Crypt Keeper.
19
00:00:51,310 --> 00:00:52,310
So who died?
20
00:00:53,230 --> 00:00:55,410
A really beloved volunteer from the
hospital.
21
00:00:55,730 --> 00:00:56,730
What was his name?
22
00:00:57,630 --> 00:00:58,670
John. James.
23
00:00:59,190 --> 00:01:00,470
Stevie? What?
24
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,970
No, his name was David.
25
00:01:03,210 --> 00:01:04,769
Oh, that's right, David. David, that's
it.
26
00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:08,410
No, it wasn't. I know, I'm just making
it up.
27
00:01:09,030 --> 00:01:10,350
So how did he die?
28
00:01:10,670 --> 00:01:15,390
Oh, you know, actually, he had a rash on
his knee. The man died from a rash on
29
00:01:15,390 --> 00:01:16,390
his knee?
30
00:01:16,530 --> 00:01:19,890
Well, he was scratching it when he got
hit by a bus.
31
00:01:20,150 --> 00:01:21,150
Oh.
32
00:01:22,700 --> 00:01:24,340
Poor guy's funeral was terrible.
33
00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:28,840
It was terrible. Wasn't it? I know. If
he would have seen it, it would have
34
00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:29,840
killed him.
35
00:01:33,300 --> 00:01:35,300
You know that sounds stupid, don't you?
36
00:01:35,540 --> 00:01:39,240
What about the only decent thing was the
family portrait they used in the
37
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,680
program? Uncle Brown, do we have a
family portrait?
38
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:44,640
Yes, we just took one. What are you
saying?
39
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,260
Yes, I keep it right here.
40
00:01:47,540 --> 00:01:49,500
Yes, this thing is just brand new.
41
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:52,960
Look, look right there.
42
00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:55,560
Who's the baby?
43
00:01:55,700 --> 00:01:56,880
Oh, that would be me.
44
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,660
Wait a minute.
45
00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:00,740
How old is this?
46
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:06,360
Is that a stagecoach? Yeah, it is. Kind
of old, ain't it?
47
00:02:06,580 --> 00:02:07,840
Yeah. Oh, wait a minute.
48
00:02:08,780 --> 00:02:09,919
Is that my mom?
49
00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:12,760
Oh, how cute. She was so innocent.
50
00:02:13,060 --> 00:02:14,660
Please, your mama wasn't innocent.
51
00:02:14,900 --> 00:02:15,900
She was drunk.
52
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,000
Look at her eyes. Bloodshot red.
53
00:02:18,540 --> 00:02:21,420
Your mama went from Jack and Jill to
Jack and Coke.
54
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:25,380
I guess we do need to take another
family portrait.
55
00:02:25,920 --> 00:02:28,820
Yeah, maybe you can get Michelangelo to
paint this one, too.
56
00:02:29,300 --> 00:02:31,620
And maybe you can get out of my face and
go home.
57
00:02:32,100 --> 00:02:34,700
Oh, here comes Edna. Yeah, come on in,
Edna. Here she comes.
58
00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,360
Yeah, come on in. Trot on in here.
59
00:02:38,660 --> 00:02:40,860
Works every time. He's scared of the
Beastmaster.
60
00:02:49,290 --> 00:02:50,450
your favorite color, huh?
61
00:02:50,710 --> 00:02:52,030
Uh, purple. Why?
62
00:02:53,390 --> 00:02:59,390
Oh. Ha -ha. Are you gonna get me a
jacket or a shirt, hmm? A coffin.
63
00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:03,690
Okay. Uh, I'd rather have a shirt.
64
00:03:05,810 --> 00:03:08,630
Is this what you've been doing? Planning
my death?
65
00:03:08,870 --> 00:03:09,990
Oh, no, sweetie.
66
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:11,710
Planning our death.
67
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,710
How about we just plan to stay alive?
68
00:03:18,160 --> 00:03:20,820
Will, I'm just trying to be prepared for
when the time comes.
69
00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:24,100
Baby, we're young and healthy.
70
00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,280
We got time, okay?
71
00:03:26,660 --> 00:03:28,840
We are young and healthy, right?
72
00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,600
Yes, Will, for now.
73
00:03:30,980 --> 00:03:33,600
But after going to poor Earl's
funeral... James.
74
00:03:33,820 --> 00:03:35,080
Roger. What?
75
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:36,460
You know what, whatever.
76
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:40,640
Will, do you know that most people don't
get a chance to plan their own funeral?
77
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:42,620
And I don't hear them complaining.
78
00:03:42,940 --> 00:03:44,760
That's because they're dead. Exactly.
79
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:47,720
Okay, listen.
80
00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:52,970
Do you want our final resting place
determined by Brianna and Joaquin? Why
81
00:03:53,390 --> 00:03:55,970
They flushed their last pet down the
toilet.
82
00:03:56,610 --> 00:03:58,250
So what's wrong with that?
83
00:03:58,510 --> 00:03:59,690
It was a poodle.
84
00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:02,510
All right.
85
00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:05,430
Let me see these caskets again.
86
00:04:05,690 --> 00:04:10,130
Okay. Now these are comfy and classy.
87
00:04:10,370 --> 00:04:13,390
Okay. And people are just dying to get
in these.
88
00:04:14,590 --> 00:04:15,790
You're not taking this seriously.
89
00:04:16,870 --> 00:04:17,870
I'm playing.
90
00:04:18,029 --> 00:04:21,149
Okay, okay, okay. I'll take that one.
91
00:04:21,450 --> 00:04:22,950
That's a girl's casket.
92
00:04:23,310 --> 00:04:28,390
Okay, and why is it a girl's casket? Oh,
let's see, Will. Because it has pink
93
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,450
shack carpeting and a vanity mirror.
94
00:04:30,990 --> 00:04:33,990
So what? I'm going to be dead anyway.
95
00:04:35,850 --> 00:04:37,630
Besides, look how expensive they are.
96
00:04:38,330 --> 00:04:39,450
It's crazy.
97
00:04:39,910 --> 00:04:40,910
Oh!
98
00:04:42,290 --> 00:04:43,450
We can rent them!
99
00:04:45,260 --> 00:04:46,640
We get ripped caskets.
100
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:51,260
Who don't rip caskets, Will?
101
00:04:51,500 --> 00:04:52,500
Yes, they do.
102
00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:58,380
Okay, look. So, during the service, you
have a fancy little casket, and then
103
00:04:58,380 --> 00:05:02,140
after everybody's gone, they just throw
you in a pine box. You don't even know
104
00:05:02,140 --> 00:05:06,780
the difference. Oh, I will know the
difference, Will. Baby, it won't matter.
105
00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:08,400
You'll be dead.
106
00:05:14,770 --> 00:05:18,030
Okay, look, you're not going to be able
to enjoy the casket.
107
00:05:18,470 --> 00:05:21,570
All right, Plies, think about all the
money I'll save.
108
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:24,590
And who said I would die before you?
109
00:05:25,270 --> 00:05:26,270
Come on, baby.
110
00:05:26,510 --> 00:05:29,550
The way you be putting down that bacon,
you don't play. I mean, come on.
111
00:06:15,150 --> 00:06:18,190
She got a point. I'd be out of this
piece.
112
00:06:21,110 --> 00:06:22,750
Could you put me down now?
113
00:06:23,070 --> 00:06:24,190
Oh, sorry, son.
114
00:06:24,490 --> 00:06:25,490
There you go.
115
00:06:25,830 --> 00:06:26,830
Okay.
116
00:06:27,290 --> 00:06:30,450
Now that I have your undecided
attention... What?
117
00:06:31,230 --> 00:06:32,490
There is an emergency.
118
00:06:34,130 --> 00:06:35,130
What? What?
119
00:06:35,870 --> 00:06:38,770
I have signed us all up to take a family
portrait.
120
00:06:41,130 --> 00:06:42,250
Call me when there's a fire.
121
00:06:42,910 --> 00:06:43,910
Okay,
122
00:06:44,170 --> 00:06:46,030
everybody who pay rent around here, you
can go.
123
00:06:46,610 --> 00:06:49,310
Everybody who pay rent on time, around
here.
124
00:06:50,790 --> 00:06:52,490
Exactly. That's what I thought.
125
00:06:53,770 --> 00:06:56,810
Okay, Mr. Brown, what you got? What you
got? I know you ain't going nowhere
126
00:06:56,810 --> 00:06:58,710
because you're too nosy. I am not.
127
00:06:59,250 --> 00:07:00,250
Watch me.
128
00:07:04,170 --> 00:07:05,870
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
129
00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:08,050
What you got? What you got? What you
talking about? All right.
130
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:12,620
I made an appointment for all of us to
take a family portrait today.
131
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,100
Today?
132
00:07:14,220 --> 00:07:15,220
Yes, today.
133
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:16,620
Not tomorrow.
134
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:20,960
Why put off today what you can do
sometime later today?
135
00:07:21,500 --> 00:07:23,140
Something like that takes planning.
136
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:26,880
Yeah. And I need to get a face full if
I'm going to take pictures. Yeah, I'm
137
00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:27,880
going to need a new outfit.
138
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:28,960
And I'm going to need a haircut.
139
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:31,040
Okay, what's your excuse, Lumiere?
140
00:07:31,420 --> 00:07:32,800
I just don't want to do it.
141
00:07:33,380 --> 00:07:34,460
Great. Okay,
142
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:36,340
hold it right there.
143
00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:43,300
Now, I hear... your complaints and
excuses and there's just one problem i
144
00:07:43,300 --> 00:07:49,280
care because the photographer is on his
way right now he'll be here shortly so
145
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:54,740
be ready uh by the way carl uh here's
your prepaid credit card what are you
146
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,760
doing with my car you may want to put
some more money on that i signed it for
147
00:07:58,760 --> 00:08:05,700
you too yes oh i found it next to your
wallet in your purse under your bed
148
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:13,460
Okay, get everything ready.
149
00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:16,480
I'm coming.
150
00:08:18,340 --> 00:08:21,200
I said I'm coming. Stop knocking on the
door like that.
151
00:08:21,740 --> 00:08:23,420
Oh, no wonder you was hoofing it.
152
00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:24,680
What y 'all want?
153
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:27,040
Oh, hey, Cora told us about the family
portrait.
154
00:08:27,940 --> 00:08:31,300
Again, I say, what y 'all want? Oh, stop
playing around.
155
00:08:31,940 --> 00:08:36,659
We're here to be in the picture. Yes.
Uh, the pet studio is down the street.
156
00:08:37,020 --> 00:08:39,520
Oh. Well, make sure they get your good
side.
157
00:08:39,970 --> 00:08:41,150
Around 10 -10.
158
00:08:42,150 --> 00:08:43,150
You like that?
159
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:44,750
Yeah, my baby got joked.
160
00:08:45,250 --> 00:08:47,830
Now, your baby got that fat is what she
got.
161
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:53,670
Look, this is a family portrait, and
only my loving and sweet family is going
162
00:08:53,670 --> 00:08:54,329
be in it.
163
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:57,570
Ridiculous. All right, why don't we have
to keep talking about our deaths? It's
164
00:08:57,570 --> 00:08:58,449
part of life.
165
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:02,110
No, it's not. That's why it's called
death. Well, you're not making any sense
166
00:09:02,110 --> 00:09:04,910
right now. I am making plenty of sense.
What kind of nurse are you? Whoa, whoa,
167
00:09:04,910 --> 00:09:05,629
whoa, whoa, whoa.
168
00:09:05,630 --> 00:09:07,370
What, are you two having problems?
169
00:09:07,570 --> 00:09:08,570
Yes. No.
170
00:09:08,940 --> 00:09:11,120
He doesn't think I need my hair done.
171
00:09:11,320 --> 00:09:15,360
What? Who is going to see the back of
your head while you're laying in a
172
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:18,260
Sasha, you do need a little perm around
the edges.
173
00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,300
Your split ends even got split ends.
174
00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:23,840
I'm ready.
175
00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,720
You ready for what? Freak neck?
176
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:32,960
I told you. You need Jesus and a bigger
shirt.
177
00:09:33,200 --> 00:09:35,600
And you need to go upstairs and find the
rest of that outfit.
178
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:36,880
Yeah, that's right.
179
00:09:37,020 --> 00:09:39,780
And, Joaquin, how did you get so dirty?
What is this?
180
00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:41,880
You need to be asking Brianna that.
181
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:46,900
What? Are you serious? You're a little
snitch. You just said I'm a snitch. You
182
00:09:46,900 --> 00:09:50,340
need to calm down right now. You can't
talk about anybody.
183
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:51,600
Hey, everybody.
184
00:09:54,020 --> 00:09:55,740
Great cook -em -up.
185
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,940
What? You look like Escapado.
186
00:09:59,380 --> 00:10:00,380
What happened?
187
00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:04,260
I just had a facial. You paid somebody
to do that.
188
00:10:05,420 --> 00:10:11,120
I've seen better looking P .O .W.'s.
Barbara, you look like some Lord have
189
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:13,200
got attacked by, oh my God.
190
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:16,500
Barbara, you look, girl, you need some
cream.
191
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,020
Yes,
192
00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:29,040
you do.
193
00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:30,920
It's not that bad.
194
00:10:31,680 --> 00:10:33,520
Kind of reminds me of pizza.
195
00:10:35,020 --> 00:10:36,200
With extra red sauce.
196
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:38,620
Shut up.
197
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:39,800
You shut up.
198
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,340
Is that real? Oh, of course.
199
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,260
I would die if I looked like that.
200
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:50,780
Oh, and then I guess we'd have to bury
you in a platinum casket.
201
00:10:51,760 --> 00:10:54,360
You know what? I don't want to take a
picture with him.
202
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,320
Whatever. I'm out of here.
203
00:11:07,020 --> 00:11:07,739
Well, hey, Brown.
204
00:11:07,740 --> 00:11:09,480
You still got up.
205
00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,740
What about my family portrait?
206
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:13,520
They just still got up.
207
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,760
I said, what about my family... Y 'all
didn't hear me the first two times?
208
00:11:17,620 --> 00:11:21,900
What? Who ordered some beautiful
memories to go?
209
00:11:23,240 --> 00:11:24,280
This is ruined.
210
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:33,500
So, after I completed the police academy
and...
211
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:39,480
Spend the next 20 miserable years as a
forensic investigator until the late
212
00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:44,820
nights and paranoia and nicotine
addiction took its toll.
213
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:51,120
My wife left with my best friend and my
dog, and boy, I sure miss that dog.
214
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,120
Your turn.
215
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:54,240
Oh, snap, yeah.
216
00:11:54,660 --> 00:11:57,120
Okay, you smoke?
217
00:11:58,580 --> 00:11:59,580
I'm 10.
218
00:11:59,960 --> 00:12:01,920
Oh, you're a drinker, huh?
219
00:12:02,300 --> 00:12:03,300
No.
220
00:12:04,110 --> 00:12:05,110
Good for you.
221
00:12:05,290 --> 00:12:06,910
Yeah, I didn't start till I was 11.
222
00:12:07,830 --> 00:12:11,210
Mr. Brown, you just saying that so we
can take that picture? No, Carver, I'm
223
00:12:11,210 --> 00:12:13,490
telling the truth. Your face is barely
noticeable.
224
00:12:14,870 --> 00:12:15,910
Carver, you look fine.
225
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:17,110
Ask the photographer.
226
00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:21,050
Whoa! He needs some morning lights and a
side order of breadsticks.
227
00:12:21,430 --> 00:12:24,970
See, I told you, Mr. Brown. No, Carver,
I'm telling you, he's just playing.
228
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:26,490
Right, Mr. Photographer?
229
00:12:28,570 --> 00:12:29,750
You're just playing, right?
230
00:12:30,330 --> 00:12:34,290
I'm paid by the hour with a three -hour
minimum, and, uh... Well, when I'm on
231
00:12:34,290 --> 00:12:36,750
the clock, I'll tell you anything you
want to hear. It's not even noticeable.
232
00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:38,030
Do you smoke?
233
00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:39,610
No. What? I don't know about smoke.
234
00:12:40,790 --> 00:12:44,370
Oh. I got some homework to do. Hey,
thanks for listening.
235
00:12:45,030 --> 00:12:47,450
Have he been boring you with his little
stories again?
236
00:12:47,810 --> 00:12:49,770
It's okay. He just needed to vent.
237
00:12:50,810 --> 00:12:51,810
Stay strong.
238
00:12:52,550 --> 00:12:53,550
Sure thing.
239
00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:56,890
Mr. Brown, maybe you could get a rain
check for the photo shoot.
240
00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:59,230
Okay. I didn't think about that, Carl.
241
00:13:00,490 --> 00:13:01,490
Excuse me.
242
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,640
Is there anything I could do to get a
rain check?
243
00:13:04,860 --> 00:13:05,860
Yep.
244
00:13:06,180 --> 00:13:08,660
But it would actually take it for you to
make it rain.
245
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,420
How about if I just actually make you
bleed?
246
00:13:12,940 --> 00:13:13,879
Mr. Brown.
247
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:14,880
From your ears.
248
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,800
Nope. I'm still going to have to charge
you the full price.
249
00:13:19,840 --> 00:13:20,840
Hey, everybody.
250
00:13:21,820 --> 00:13:23,100
I won't be out too late.
251
00:13:23,500 --> 00:13:25,020
Wait a minute. Where do you think you're
going?
252
00:13:25,420 --> 00:13:28,680
Oh, I figured since I was all dressed
up, I might as well hit Jamie's party.
253
00:13:29,080 --> 00:13:32,620
The only thing going to be getting hit
is you if you try to go out in this come
254
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:33,620
-get -me dress.
255
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:34,599
Don't worry.
256
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:35,219
Don't worry.
257
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:36,220
Oh,
258
00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:38,380
yeah. She's clean, all right.
259
00:13:38,660 --> 00:13:39,599
Uh -oh.
260
00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,400
Except for a little plaque around that
back molar.
261
00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:45,440
What?
262
00:13:45,500 --> 00:13:48,640
I can't do this, Mr. Brown. Corby, will
you go ahead? I'm not going to keep
263
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,840
begging you. I done begged you, and I
ain't finna beg you. Well, okay, good.
264
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,720
Please, Corby, come back.
265
00:13:54,220 --> 00:13:55,740
Please, I ain't too proud to be.
266
00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:56,960
Okay, okay.
267
00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,370
All right, all right, all right. We
got... company. Don't worry. I'm used to
268
00:14:00,370 --> 00:14:01,650
begging. Begged with my wife for years.
269
00:14:01,950 --> 00:14:02,950
What did she do?
270
00:14:03,150 --> 00:14:04,350
Well, she finally left.
271
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:09,130
Is there a moral to this story, sir? Uh,
do you smoke?
272
00:14:09,470 --> 00:14:10,470
I don't know about smoke.
273
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:16,170
Carver, what if something happened to
your daddy and this portrait is the only
274
00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:18,930
thing you had to remember me by? Okay,
Mr. Brown.
275
00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:23,970
I'll have some concealer. Maybe I can
cover this up. Cover up what, Carver? I
276
00:14:23,970 --> 00:14:25,190
don't even see nothing on you.
277
00:14:25,550 --> 00:14:26,990
You look fine to me.
278
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:30,560
She gonna need some spackle for that.
279
00:14:30,780 --> 00:14:31,780
And some grout.
280
00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:35,000
Okay, let me talk about my own family. I
don't need you.
281
00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:37,620
I mean, leprechauns gave their lives for
that, too.
282
00:14:41,740 --> 00:14:42,740
Hey.
283
00:14:43,540 --> 00:14:44,540
Nice night.
284
00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:45,880
Yep.
285
00:14:46,180 --> 00:14:47,180
What are you doing?
286
00:14:47,820 --> 00:14:48,940
Making funeral arrangements.
287
00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:50,880
Without me?
288
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,140
Because of you.
289
00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:54,539
All right.
290
00:14:54,540 --> 00:14:57,900
Okay, maybe I got a little freaked out
planning all this, but then I got to
291
00:14:57,900 --> 00:14:59,850
thinking. It's better to be prepared.
292
00:15:00,310 --> 00:15:01,310
Oh, honey.
293
00:15:02,830 --> 00:15:07,050
Plus, if we don't plan, we'll probably
be buried in matching Cadillac coffins.
294
00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:12,350
Who would do something that stupid? Not
us. Welcome to Cadillac Coffins. Choose
295
00:15:12,350 --> 00:15:14,510
from cherry, oak, walnut. Oh, I know you
did.
296
00:15:15,390 --> 00:15:17,010
You know, I was just checking it out.
297
00:15:18,170 --> 00:15:21,590
Checking it out because I know you
wanted to be buried in style and I
298
00:15:21,590 --> 00:15:22,590
save money.
299
00:15:23,710 --> 00:15:25,030
Cadillacs? Really?
300
00:15:26,410 --> 00:15:27,410
Well, they were...
301
00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:28,730
Cheaper than a Mercedes.
302
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:32,750
Well, I want to save money, too.
303
00:15:33,310 --> 00:15:34,149
You do?
304
00:15:34,150 --> 00:15:37,250
Yes, but I still don't want to end up
like a Jew.
305
00:15:37,870 --> 00:15:38,870
What's his name?
306
00:15:40,270 --> 00:15:41,390
What is his name?
307
00:15:41,590 --> 00:15:42,590
I don't know.
308
00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:45,710
Okay, well, then we're in this together.
309
00:15:47,310 --> 00:15:48,490
Yes, in this situation.
310
00:15:49,250 --> 00:15:50,510
Not a double coffin, right?
311
00:15:50,770 --> 00:15:51,910
They make those?
312
00:15:53,730 --> 00:15:54,730
I'm just kidding.
313
00:15:55,020 --> 00:15:59,360
I'm kidding, baby. I'm kidding. All
right? So, look, why don't we just
314
00:15:59,360 --> 00:16:00,360
burial plot?
315
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:01,680
Oh, that's easy.
316
00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:06,380
I'm going to be buried with the rest of
my family in Mount Meadows.
317
00:16:06,860 --> 00:16:07,860
Mount Meadows?
318
00:16:08,060 --> 00:16:10,500
Yeah. Isn't that where they've been
jacking headstones?
319
00:16:11,100 --> 00:16:12,440
Why not Evergreen?
320
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:15,260
Don't you mean Nevergreen?
321
00:16:16,300 --> 00:16:18,580
No, you might as well put me in a
landfill.
322
00:16:22,340 --> 00:16:23,380
I'm not serious.
323
00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:26,930
Oh, I mean, I'm not... Well,
324
00:16:28,110 --> 00:16:32,230
you know what? How would you like it if
I spread your ashes over three miles of
325
00:16:32,230 --> 00:16:34,150
garbage? You like that?
326
00:16:35,370 --> 00:16:36,390
My ashes?
327
00:16:36,730 --> 00:16:38,430
I'm dirt? Yes, you're dirt.
328
00:16:38,650 --> 00:16:41,470
To dust we shall return, and that's
where we're going, buster.
329
00:16:42,950 --> 00:16:43,950
Ha!
330
00:16:47,930 --> 00:16:52,160
All right, so... Oh, I got several
choices here for backdrops. This is
331
00:16:52,160 --> 00:16:55,020
your family day at the beach. Uh, we
don't like the beach.
332
00:16:55,820 --> 00:16:58,060
How about, uh, your American flag?
333
00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,940
How about you keep moving on?
334
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:04,200
All right, so maybe we could, uh... Oh,
really?
335
00:17:04,520 --> 00:17:09,880
Oh... Uh, maybe not. Uh, you know, we
could... We could just do the, uh, white
336
00:17:09,880 --> 00:17:10,799
background here.
337
00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:14,400
Okay, just do a white background. Just
do something white. Do you have any
338
00:17:14,400 --> 00:17:16,839
backgrounds of women killing their
husbands, huh?
339
00:17:19,389 --> 00:17:20,470
Let me check my truck.
340
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:23,950
Okay, you can't be... You're serious?
341
00:17:25,310 --> 00:17:27,130
Oh, this is going to be a mess.
342
00:17:28,010 --> 00:17:29,810
Oh, so you finally run him off, huh,
Brown?
343
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:32,930
No. He works about an hour.
344
00:17:33,610 --> 00:17:36,930
And in 15 minutes, my deposit is going
to be gone and I ain't going to have
345
00:17:36,930 --> 00:17:39,130
nothing to show for it. Oh, really now?
346
00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:41,850
Brown, look.
347
00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,610
Yeah.
348
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:47,290
Now I can sell you this one.
349
00:17:47,590 --> 00:17:49,690
I'll call it failure.
350
00:17:50,130 --> 00:17:54,010
Or a picture is worth a... How much is
it getting you for anyway?
351
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,510
That's why you had a heart attack last
year.
352
00:17:59,190 --> 00:18:01,430
Now, what does that have to do with what
I just said?
353
00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:04,610
Nothing. It's just the meanest thing I
could say right now. Move.
354
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:06,730
Look, have you seen that?
355
00:18:07,230 --> 00:18:11,430
Uh, yeah. And I'm regretting every
second of it. Well, she said she was
356
00:18:11,430 --> 00:18:14,410
over to help Cora get ready for the
picture. Well, she ain't here right now.
357
00:18:15,090 --> 00:18:16,090
Well, how do you know?
358
00:18:17,029 --> 00:18:21,010
Cuz, I got ears like a beagle and I got
a heightened, you know, oh.
359
00:18:21,530 --> 00:18:22,530
Ta -da.
360
00:18:23,550 --> 00:18:24,550
What do you think?
361
00:18:24,830 --> 00:18:26,370
Ugly, that's what I think. What?
362
00:18:26,710 --> 00:18:27,770
Oh, not you, Carter.
363
00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:31,170
Girl, you look good. Like, you should be
taking pictures right now.
364
00:18:31,750 --> 00:18:36,410
Okay, everybody, come on, we're gonna
take pictures right now. We're running
365
00:18:36,410 --> 00:18:37,410
of daylight.
366
00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:38,990
We're inside the house, Mr.
367
00:18:39,230 --> 00:18:42,390
Brown. Uh, Carter, can I do this? You
gonna let me, let me, let me run the
368
00:18:42,390 --> 00:18:43,390
picture show.
369
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:46,630
All right, as long as I don't have to
take your picture next to the little
370
00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:50,090
smarty pants. Just as long as I don't
have to stand next to him.
371
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:55,230
Okay, Sasha, you stand right over here.
Come on, right over here. You stand
372
00:18:55,230 --> 00:18:59,910
right there. And, nephew, you stand in
the back. Your head is huge.
373
00:19:00,170 --> 00:19:01,330
You got like a dome.
374
00:19:01,790 --> 00:19:02,790
Stand right there.
375
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:04,610
Why come, Embryona?
376
00:19:05,230 --> 00:19:07,350
Where do you want me to stand? In
traffic.
377
00:19:08,750 --> 00:19:11,110
Can you even spell traffic?
378
00:19:11,330 --> 00:19:12,530
Of course I can.
379
00:19:15,590 --> 00:19:16,590
I don't have anything to prove.
380
00:19:17,610 --> 00:19:19,210
Okay, you two down front.
381
00:19:19,410 --> 00:19:21,450
You walk home, you go over there. You
stand right there.
382
00:19:21,750 --> 00:19:23,430
Okay, and I'll stand next to Carmen.
383
00:19:23,850 --> 00:19:24,850
Right here.
384
00:19:30,150 --> 00:19:31,250
I'll stand right here.
385
00:19:31,530 --> 00:19:32,530
Down in front.
386
00:19:33,950 --> 00:19:34,950
Marvin.
387
00:19:35,330 --> 00:19:36,790
That's the dead guy's name.
388
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:40,210
Who cares? I'm still mad at you.
389
00:19:41,190 --> 00:19:42,190
Hello.
390
00:19:43,830 --> 00:19:48,280
What do you want to... Oh, I got the
best place for you. You can camp out
391
00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,500
in the front of your own cave.
392
00:19:49,780 --> 00:19:52,860
Mr. Brown, we're caught on Andar just
like Ken.
393
00:19:53,300 --> 00:19:56,160
Well, Ken, you asked them to leave. Bye.
394
00:19:57,360 --> 00:20:00,220
Okay, you can stay. Just don't block my
good time.
395
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:02,000
I never knew you had one.
396
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:07,640
Oh, and I got a perfect spot for you.
Come, Cora, you step up a little. Cora,
397
00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,800
step up. And you step right behind her.
Make sure you block her shot.
398
00:20:11,040 --> 00:20:12,040
Okay, we're ready.
399
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,660
Say cheese, everybody.
400
00:20:14,260 --> 00:20:15,260
Cheese!
401
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:17,440
Wait a minute. Something is missing.
402
00:20:18,540 --> 00:20:22,560
All right, I couldn't find the wife
killing husband posters, so how about
403
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:26,080
kittens? Hurry up. We only have two
minutes left. Oh, and that's the lights
404
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:27,080
in my car.
405
00:20:36,430 --> 00:20:37,970
So you got everything ironed out?
406
00:20:38,230 --> 00:20:40,930
Only thing needs ironing is the back of
Brown's neck.
407
00:20:41,530 --> 00:20:42,850
And your beard hair.
408
00:20:43,150 --> 00:20:45,530
Hey, hey, you can't talk to my woman
like that. Okay, okay.
409
00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:47,790
Here I am. Five, four,
410
00:20:48,550 --> 00:20:50,630
three, two, one.
29372
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