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[banging]
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[Jeremy] Now, alcohol licence.
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This is to say we've applied
to West Oxfordshire District Council
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00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,400
to use the premises, here.
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To update the floor plans.
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- Bar on the first floor.
- Yes.
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You need to show all points of serving.
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- [Jeremy] By the 27th of August.
- [Charlie] Yes.
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Which would imply that they will give us
the licence by the 27th of August.
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00:00:31,840 --> 00:00:32,960
Yes.
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00:00:33,160 --> 00:00:34,200
But you're gonna now say,
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"What happens for the days
prior to the 27th of August?"
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[Charlie] Because we're gonna open
before that, aren't we?
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- No.
- [Charlie] The 27th,
15
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- that's after the Bank Holiday weekend.
- [Jeremy mumbles]
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No, it isn't.
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- Yes, it is.
- Is it?
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00:00:50,480 --> 00:00:51,280
[Charlie] Yes.
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00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,800
- No, the bank holiday's on the, erm...
- 25th.
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00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,000
- Yeah.
- Oh.
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I thought it was the following weekend.
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No.
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We've got a week less
to get this place ready than I thought.
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I thought the bank holiday
was the 31st. It's the 25th.
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00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,200
[Charlie] Correct. Yeah.
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[record scratching]
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[bang]
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["Mama Weer All Crazee Now"
by Slade playing]
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I've just found out
the day we were planning on opening,
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we're actually opening
a week before that.
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[Jeremy] August Bank Holiday is normally
the last weekend in August,
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but this it isn't.
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It's a week earlier this year.
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Fucking hell.
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[Jeremy] I'm really sorry about that.
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[Jeremy] Sorry, sorry.
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[music continues playing]
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[Jeremy] Everyone involved
in getting the pub open
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had already been working at a fair lick.
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But, thanks to my inability
to read a calendar,
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they now had to really get
the hammer down.
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[Jeremy] Fucking hell, white-van-tastic.
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[Jeremy] Keir Starmer may not know
what the working class is,
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but I do, and look at it!
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[music continues playing]
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[men shouting]
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[music fading]
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[soft folk music]
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[Jeremy] Over at the farm,
Kaleb was on a deadline too,
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00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:44,000
because the crops were now ready
to be harvested.
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00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,240
But he was stuck in his office,
unable to get going
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till Mother Nature said so.
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So, hopefully next week,
if the weather...
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Let's have a look at the weather.
If the weather's good,
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we can get into the spring barley.
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There's so many weather apps on my phone,
it's unreal!
57
00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:02,440
[laughing]
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00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:04,880
I just look at the one
that I want to look at now.
59
00:03:05,040 --> 00:03:07,720
Like, I just set 'em all to Egypt,
it's really good weather.
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00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:09,800
Right, Monday's good.
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Tuesday's then wet. Wednesday's wet.
Thursday's wet.
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Shitting hell.
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I'll give Charlie a quick buzz.
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[dial tone]
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- Charlie?
- [Charlie over the phone] Yeah?
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[Kaleb] I was just making a plan.
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00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:27,840
So, next week's pretty much
a no-go for wheat, I would say...
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- Because have you seen the weather?
- [Charlie] Yeah.
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It looks wet all week.
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- [Charlie] We have... Seven...
- [breaking up]
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Yeah, it will. It...
On the spring barley,
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- because that week's...
- [breaking up]
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- And therefore the next...
- [breaking up]
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00:03:44,480 --> 00:03:46,560
[communication breaking up]
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My phone's got like zero...
My office... I need a new office.
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00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,080
Literally, if I walk
anywhere on this farm,
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I've got signal. I walk into my office,
I've literally got one bar.
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[communication breaking up]
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[beeping]
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I actually have no idea
what just happened.
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I'm just gonna do what I wanna do.
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I don't know why I called him.
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I'm the farm manager.
I get shit done, don't I?
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[Jeremy] Meanwhile,
I was heading to the pub.
85
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,360
And it's fair to say
I was in for a bit of a shock.
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[Jeremy] What? What the fuck?
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Well, this is the only way in.
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I just...
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[Jeremy] What are they doing?
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Hi, mate. Do you know how long
this is gonna be closed for?
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[road worker]
I wouldn't know off the top of my head.
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I'm assuming it'll be till the 23rd
as it says over there but I'm not sure.
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I've only been put on this today.
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23rd of August
and we're opening that day?
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[road worker] I wouldn't know.
I'm a trainee. I just do what I'm told.
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Steady, steady.
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[Jeremy] After getting to the pub,
there was another problem.
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00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:57,840
[Jeremy] Hmm...
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00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:02,200
[Jeremy] The canopy I'd ordered
instead of the overpriced umbrellas.
100
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,120
Erm...
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[sighs] Christ.
102
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:11,320
[Jeremy] It's made this dining room
unbelievably dark.
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[Jeremy] Bollocks.
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That could be an expensive mistake.
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00:05:27,280 --> 00:05:28,720
[soft music playing]
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00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,760
[Jeremy] On the subject of money,
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his cheerfulness then arrived
with one of his budget updates.
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[Charlie] Erm,
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Wi-Fi,
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00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:39,720
the dedicated line.
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[Charlie] Monthly rental?
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£1,000 a month.
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- [Charlie] There's a giga...
-£1,000 a month?
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Yeah, on a 12-month contract.
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[Jeremy] Jesus.
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Parking wardens have come in.
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- Yeah?
- Six people here,
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£200 each a day, £1,200 a day.
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It's about £40,000 a month.
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00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:02,880
- Yeah, that's ridiculous.
- [Charlie] It's not sensible, is it?
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00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:04,960
[Jeremy sighing]
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00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,240
You know my sort of pessimistic budget
on how much this was all gonna cost?
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I think we might have breached that.
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Hmm. Erm...
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Let's hope people come.
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[Jeremy] This brought me
to my next point.
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- Roadworks.
- [Charlie] Yeah.
128
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,480
- According to the sign outside...
- [Charlie] Yeah.
129
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:27,280
- [Jeremy] They last until the 23rd.
- [Charlie] Yes.
130
00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:29,280
We're opening on the 23rd,
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so nobody will be able to come here.
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Erm, I'm gonna speak
to the contact because,
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I'm not quite sure why they've shut
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00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:38,440
the actual junction off the roundabout.
135
00:06:38,600 --> 00:06:39,760
[Jeremy] Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
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00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:41,040
So you're going to talk
to the roadwork people?
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00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,000
- [Charlie] Yeah.
- This tent is my responsibility
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00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,680
and I'm gonna have to do something,
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00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:47,240
'cause there's no light
in that room anymore.
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00:06:47,400 --> 00:06:49,400
[Charlie] Well, the lights are on,
and you can't see any...
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00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:50,480
Yeah, okay, there's electrical light.
142
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:53,200
But that room's always been
so bright and sparkly.
143
00:06:54,320 --> 00:06:55,640
It also feels a bit...
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00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:58,720
I can't imagine you like
this sort of thing.
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00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,080
I mean...
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00:07:02,720 --> 00:07:03,520
I...
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I didn't think, "Wow, that's nice."
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00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:10,360
And I do often think,
"Wow, that's nice" to some things!
149
00:07:10,520 --> 00:07:13,400
"I didn't think, 'Wow, that's nice.'"
150
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,200
["Just Dropped In" by Kenny Rogers
& The First Edition playing]
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♪ What condition my condition was in ♪
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00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,280
[Jeremy] Given the pressing need
to make up for my calendar cock-up,
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all hands were needed on deck.
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00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,840
And since it was still
too wet to harvest,
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Kaleb came over
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00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:35,920
to help me and Mark the brewer
demolish the old bar.
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I want the pennies out of it. [laughing]
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♪ I just dropped in ♪
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♪ To see what condition
my condition was in ♪
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♪ Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah ♪
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♪ What condition my condition was in ♪
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00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:54,160
♪ I pushed my soul... ♪
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Oh no, Lisa!
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00:07:56,440 --> 00:07:58,040
[Jeremy] No, Lisa, don't do that.
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00:08:00,480 --> 00:08:03,080
[Jeremy] As the old bar was taken apart,
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00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,200
the engine room of the pub, the kitchen,
167
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,640
was starting to come together.
168
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:13,640
♪ I got up so tight, I couldn't unwind ♪
169
00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,760
♪ I saw so much, I broke my mind ♪
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00:08:17,920 --> 00:08:19,520
Nice. Nice one.
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00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:24,320
♪ To see what condition
my condition was in ♪
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[Jeremy] And in the surrounding
countryside...
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[bleating]
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The farming cooperative we'd formed
were rounding up the animals
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that would soon go through that kitchen.
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[farmer] Hey-ya. Hey-ya.
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00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,640
[music fading]
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00:08:50,160 --> 00:08:52,400
[Jeremy] A couple of dry days later...
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- [Jeremy] This field?
- [Kaleb] Yeah, let's go this field.
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00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,760
[Jeremy] It looked
like we could finally start harvesting.
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00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,120
[Kaleb] Two, down low.
182
00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,840
[Jeremy] And even though
I was very busy at the pub,
183
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,400
I wasn't gonna miss that.
184
00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,000
[Jeremy] This needs to be below 15?
185
00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:11,200
- [Kaleb] Yeah, so 14.5 is what we want.
- [Jeremy] Yeah, 14.5, that's right.
186
00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:16,800
- Test?
- Yeah.
187
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:17,880
Here we go.
188
00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:21,440
[Jeremy] Right, we want it
to be less than 14.5.
189
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:23,480
[beeping]
190
00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,040
- [Kaleb] Hm!
- [Jeremy] 15.6, that's not bad, actually.
191
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,960
Right, well, why don't I go to the pub?
192
00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:29,840
Yeah. I'll keep checking it
and let you know, yeah?
193
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,320
Yeah, as soon as it's dry.
194
00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:33,640
- You promise you'll let me know?
- [Kaleb] Yeah.
195
00:09:34,360 --> 00:09:35,680
- [Jeremy] I'll see you later then.
- [Kaleb] Yeah.
196
00:09:35,840 --> 00:09:37,600
[Jeremy] My phone will be on.
197
00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:40,520
[soft folk music playing]
198
00:09:40,720 --> 00:09:43,680
[Jeremy] As soon as I arrived at the pub,
199
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:48,880
Mark the brewer whisked me off to see
our brand-new, hi-tech beer pumps.
200
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:51,560
- [Jeremy] Do these excite you, Mark?
- [Mark] They do, actually.
201
00:09:51,760 --> 00:09:53,000
[Mark laughing]
202
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:56,000
I can actually see!
Your beard is vibrating!
203
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,080
[Mark] It's just going...
204
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:59,160
- [Jeremy] Eight different types of beer.
- [Mark] Yeah.
205
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,240
- [Jeremy] Four will go through that one.
- [Mark] Four through, and four that one.
206
00:10:01,400 --> 00:10:02,960
[Jeremy] Why is it so good?
207
00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:06,600
We don't need to clean... I said
we need to clean our lines once a week.
208
00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:07,600
Yeah.
209
00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:10,080
This kit allows you
210
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,440
to not clean lines for four to six weeks.
211
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:14,680
So imagine all that beer you're saving.
212
00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,360
- So we're saving?
- Saving beer.
213
00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,400
So how long are the pipes here?
214
00:10:18,560 --> 00:10:21,440
[Mark] I think it was 15 foot to the bar
and then 20 foot that goes up.
215
00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:22,760
So it's not, like, too bad.
216
00:10:22,960 --> 00:10:24,560
- But we've got narrower pipes.
- But we'd still be losing with eight...
217
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:27,200
We'd still be losing every time
we clean them every week?
218
00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:28,400
[Mark] We would.
219
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,600
[Jeremy] 40 pints a week we'd be losing.
220
00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:31,880
And then with these...
221
00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:35,000
- We don't have... Yeah, we literally...
- We lose them once a month?
222
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:36,160
[Mark] Yeah.
223
00:10:36,320 --> 00:10:37,680
[Jeremy] Mark may have been excited
224
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:41,400
by what looked
like airline-loo baby-changing flaps,
225
00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:44,200
but not as excited as I was
226
00:10:44,360 --> 00:10:46,360
when Nick the chef called me over
227
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:51,000
to show me the first draft
of our new all-British menu.
228
00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:53,360
Sausage rolls and pickled...
Pickled eggs!
229
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,480
[Nick] Pickled eggs, yeah.
230
00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:55,720
[Jeremy] I like that.
231
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:58,920
Chicken liver pâté, that's good.
Pressed ham and piccalilli.
232
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:00,800
[Jeremy] Gammon steak.
233
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:03,280
Gammon, bubble
and squeak, parsley sauce. It's really...
234
00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:06,960
- [Nick] It's hard for those guys to...
- I'm aroused at those words.
235
00:11:07,760 --> 00:11:08,800
So excited!
236
00:11:09,640 --> 00:11:11,400
[Sue laughing]
237
00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,880
[tense music playing]
238
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,640
- [device beeping]
- 14.3.
239
00:11:18,840 --> 00:11:20,240
[Kaleb] Bang on. So it's go time.
240
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:21,720
Let me ring Simon quickly.
241
00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:25,680
[rock music playing]
242
00:11:30,880 --> 00:11:31,960
Here we go.
243
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,520
- [Simon] We're off.
- [Kaleb] Harvest 184.
244
00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:42,720
So, we need Jeremy with his grain cart.
245
00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:44,080
Nah, leave him.
246
00:11:45,680 --> 00:11:47,160
Leave him at the pub. I haven't told him.
247
00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:48,960
He wanted me to tell him, to be fair.
248
00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:50,200
He's not coming?
249
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:51,400
- No.
- [Simon chuckling]
250
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:52,720
[Kaleb] I don't know, yeah.
251
00:11:52,920 --> 00:11:54,640
It's easier when he's not here.
252
00:11:55,720 --> 00:11:59,080
[rock music resuming]
253
00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:01,280
Here we go! First load.
254
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,360
[shutter clicking]
255
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:28,400
[rock music fading]
256
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,240
[Lisa moaning] Oh, my God.
It's going to be September soon.
257
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,400
Summer didn't start
until June this year, did it?
258
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:38,160
[Jeremy] Well, we've only had
about four days this year.
259
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,280
- I don't think it's been that bad.
- [Jeremy] What?
260
00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:41,920
[Lisa] What?
261
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,080
Fucking Kaleb.
262
00:12:47,520 --> 00:12:48,880
[Jeremy] Oh. Fucking hell.
263
00:12:56,440 --> 00:13:00,960
[Simon over radio] That was doing
over 7.7 tons a hectare just there.
264
00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:04,320
- [Kaleb over radio] That's good going.
- [Simon over radio] Yeah.
265
00:13:04,520 --> 00:13:07,040
[tense music playing]
266
00:13:12,920 --> 00:13:16,680
[Jeremy] I'll fucking kill him.
I'm gonna... Every bone in his crotch.
267
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:21,120
It's the best day of the year, harvesting.
268
00:13:23,760 --> 00:13:25,800
Right, where the bloody hell is he?
269
00:13:26,760 --> 00:13:27,560
There he is.
270
00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:29,280
There he is.
271
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:31,440
[tense music stops]
272
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,160
Ugh...
273
00:13:49,600 --> 00:13:51,240
[Kaleb] Hi, mate. How are ya?
274
00:13:51,400 --> 00:13:53,920
[Jeremy] Here's a tip
from an older, wiser man.
275
00:13:54,680 --> 00:13:57,280
If you're gonna try
and do the harvest without me,
276
00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:00,440
don't put pictures of yourself
doing the harvest on Instagram.
277
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,320
Oh fuck. I forgot about that!
278
00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,440
[Kaleb] Why was you on Instagram anyway?
You should have been working over there.
279
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,960
[Kaleb laughing] What?!
280
00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:10,200
[Jeremy] Behold my genius.
281
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,960
[whirring]
282
00:14:16,640 --> 00:14:20,120
[Jeremy] An agricultural
Stannah stairlift. Anyway, listen.
283
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,440
I am cross with you.
284
00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,240
I was gonna tell you.
I just wanted to get going
285
00:14:24,440 --> 00:14:26,920
- and make sure it was okay.
- You've done a whole field without me.
286
00:14:27,120 --> 00:14:28,920
Yeah, nearly done 20 acres, yeah.
287
00:14:29,080 --> 00:14:29,880
[Jeremy] Without me.
288
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:31,400
- Yeah.
- [Jeremy] When were you gonna tell me?
289
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,440
[laughing] When I'd finished the barley!
290
00:14:36,040 --> 00:14:38,800
Fucking wanker.
Honestly, I can't believe he'd do that.
291
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,040
[Jeremy] Kaleb's treachery aside,
292
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:46,320
I was now back in my happy place.
293
00:14:46,680 --> 00:14:49,200
[epic music playing]
294
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,880
This tractor's better. It's taller,
295
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,960
so I can see
into the trailer more easily.
296
00:15:00,080 --> 00:15:01,200
[Simon] Ah!
297
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:09,240
[Jeremy] Back at the yard, the barley
would be stored in our new stone barn.
298
00:15:11,560 --> 00:15:15,400
Oh. The cattle crush is gonna make this
very tricky.
299
00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:17,720
[Jeremy] Oh, dear.
300
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,800
[Jeremy] That is a narrow opening.
301
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,720
- [banging]
- [Jeremy] Shit.
302
00:15:32,480 --> 00:15:33,960
What the fuck have I just hit?
303
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,160
This is a proper emergency.
I've hit something.
304
00:15:41,320 --> 00:15:43,760
And my Stannah stairlift
has gone fucking...
305
00:15:43,920 --> 00:15:46,600
Oh! Jesus fucking Christ!
306
00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,320
[Jeremy] Oh...
307
00:15:50,640 --> 00:15:52,280
[Jeremy knocking]
308
00:15:53,640 --> 00:15:55,840
Fuck! Fuck, fuck.
309
00:15:57,600 --> 00:16:02,400
First time we've ever used the barn and
he's left the fucking cattle shed out.
310
00:16:02,560 --> 00:16:04,680
The cattle crush,
so I can't get anything in.
311
00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:06,640
Lazy ginger.
312
00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,960
Move the fucking cattle crush.
313
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,520
Why can't he ever do anything?
314
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,840
[rattling]
315
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:33,560
[engine roaring]
316
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:34,680
[Jeremy] Right.
317
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:38,640
Oh...
318
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:41,640
Now we've got a problem.
319
00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,160
I actually mean this.
320
00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,080
- [Kaleb] What's that?
- [Jeremy] I am pissed off.
321
00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:50,200
- [Kaleb] Why?
- I actually am pissed off.
322
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:51,480
- [Kaleb] What's happened?
- Well, because
323
00:16:51,680 --> 00:16:53,680
the cattle crush should have been moved.
324
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,040
It should. Kaleb, they should.
325
00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:58,720
But the cattle crush is there 'cause
we were TB testing two days ago.
326
00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,680
I know, but when you're actually trying
to reverse a tractor this size...
327
00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:03,280
I've twatted into the wall.
328
00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:05,640
I've had to move the cattle crush.
I'm 63.
329
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,960
I've had to move the cattle crush
on my own to get this in there.
330
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,280
[Kaleb] Well, I don't... [sighing]
331
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,120
[Jeremy] No, seriously.
332
00:17:14,280 --> 00:17:16,760
I think we should have been
loading the barley
333
00:17:16,920 --> 00:17:20,240
into the cattle barn
because it's going in a day or two.
334
00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,600
Yeah, that's why we were putting it
in that shed there.
335
00:17:22,800 --> 00:17:24,240
That is fucking difficult
getting it in there.
336
00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:25,800
I just turned in like this.
337
00:17:25,960 --> 00:17:28,080
[Jeremy] I know, but look at the size
of your tractor. It's like an ant.
338
00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,120
Yeah, I know. Well, you shouldn't have
bought a massive tractor.
339
00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:33,480
You should have cleared away
the cattle crush this morning
340
00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:36,240
in preparation
if we're gonna use that barn.
341
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:37,880
I'll go and unload.
342
00:17:39,840 --> 00:17:42,040
He does not like being told what to do,
that boy.
343
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,280
Fucking millennials.
344
00:17:49,800 --> 00:17:52,360
Did you hear the word "sorry"?
No, I didn't either.
345
00:17:56,800 --> 00:17:57,880
He's a twat.
346
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,880
If anything else is in the way,
let me know, okay?
347
00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,960
Oh, I better move that fucking twig.
348
00:18:12,080 --> 00:18:13,360
Just in case.
349
00:18:17,560 --> 00:18:19,280
[upbeat folk music playing]
350
00:18:20,040 --> 00:18:23,120
[Jeremy] The rest of the afternoon
was a continuing saga
351
00:18:23,280 --> 00:18:24,560
of man and machine...
352
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:26,480
not in harmony.
353
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,760
- [banging]
- [Jeremy] Shit.
354
00:18:31,560 --> 00:18:33,000
I've had it a day.
355
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,960
[Lisa] No, down one foot. Oh. Yep. Ooh!
356
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:37,080
- [cracking]
- [Jeremy] Ooh! Fucking hell! No! Ah!
357
00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:38,880
- [Lisa] Okay, okay.
- [Jeremy] Ah! My fucking leg!
358
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,800
- [Lisa] Bring it up.
- [Jeremy] Shit. Fucking thing.
359
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:45,280
- [Lisa] I don't think that works.
- It doesn't work. It's fucking useless.
360
00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,880
[Jeremy] My favourite time of the year
was now very far from that.
361
00:18:56,720 --> 00:18:58,120
[soft music playing]
362
00:18:58,280 --> 00:19:01,480
I was feeling bad
about losing it with Kaleb,
363
00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,840
about my cattle-crush tantrum,
364
00:19:05,800 --> 00:19:09,000
and the fact that everything
I would normally find funny
365
00:19:09,160 --> 00:19:10,960
was now just winding me up.
366
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,040
[soft music continues playing]
367
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,520
Basically, doing the harvest
and the pub at the same time
368
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,840
was proving to be a bit much.
369
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:27,120
[sighing softly]
370
00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,760
I'm just tired out.
371
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:35,080
[softly] What is it?
372
00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:38,560
[whispering] A sandwich... for you.
373
00:19:42,800 --> 00:19:45,640
Don't, don't, don't, don't!
No, I mean it.
374
00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:47,560
[Jeremy] It's bloody
nearly taken my leg off.
375
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:50,840
Who made this? Lisa?
376
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:52,080
Yeah.
377
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:53,320
Thank you.
378
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:57,480
Mmm.
379
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:01,280
[Jeremy] When was the last time
you did a moisture-o-test?
380
00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,080
This last load. 13.2. Dry.
381
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:06,040
- It's getting drier.
- Hmm.
382
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,720
[soft rock music]
383
00:20:08,880 --> 00:20:12,320
[Jeremy] This meant we could keep going
well into the evening...
384
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:15,560
with the failing light ensuring
385
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:19,280
man and machine
remained well out of harmony.
386
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:23,680
Lisa came
and kindly gave me the ham sandwich.
387
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,960
Er... Whoa. Help.
388
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,760
Er, there was a...
389
00:20:29,920 --> 00:20:33,640
Hang on, I have to go, there's a drone
that's just crashed into the combine.
390
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,280
[Simon over radio] A drone
has just crashed into the combine.
391
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:39,840
[Simon] Er...
392
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:42,040
Er...
393
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,640
[Jeremy chuckling] God...
394
00:20:45,080 --> 00:20:46,200
[sighs]
395
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,840
Did I forget to salute
a magpie this morning?
396
00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:58,320
[Jeremy] Predictably,
it rained again overnight,
397
00:20:58,480 --> 00:21:02,200
which meant that in the morning
it was too wet to harvest.
398
00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,440
["China Grove"
by The Doobie Brothers playing]
399
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:09,720
So, the pair of us went back
to help at the pub.
400
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:13,920
{\an8}[music continues playing]
401
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:14,920
They're going in there.
402
00:21:17,360 --> 00:21:19,480
[Jeremy] It was a blur of busyness,
403
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,760
but we had ticked off
one of the most critical jobs.
404
00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,040
If you connect it up to that metal,
we'll pick it up over here.
405
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:27,040
[beeping]
406
00:21:27,200 --> 00:21:30,000
[Jeremy] Because we now had
a proper water supply.
407
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:31,560
Yeah, you got it! Wey-hey!
408
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,640
[Jeremy] Alan had made a deal
with a neighbouring farmer
409
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,840
to tap into his main supply.
410
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:42,720
If I carry on in the corner, I'll have
a look with you in a minute to find that.
411
00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:44,000
Yeah, to find that pipe.
412
00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:46,360
[Jeremy] And then his lads
had connected that
413
00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,760
via about a mile of pipe, to the pub.
414
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:56,400
[Jeremy] This is the water tank.
415
00:21:57,560 --> 00:22:01,040
We have water and the water
looks pretty clean and nice to me.
416
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:02,640
Brilliant.
417
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:06,240
[Jeremy] All of this meant
that Alan's men were busy.
418
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,080
Get that cleaned up then, Darryl.
419
00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:09,680
So what I'm thinking, K...
420
00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:11,480
[Jeremy] So Kaleb and I decided to get on
421
00:22:12,040 --> 00:22:14,920
with some smaller inside jobs.
422
00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:17,320
I think it needs
to be quite close to the wall, like that.
423
00:22:17,520 --> 00:22:18,880
- [Jeremy] Am I right?
- [Kaleb] Yeah.
424
00:22:19,480 --> 00:22:20,360
[Kaleb] Where's the chain, though?
425
00:22:20,520 --> 00:22:22,080
We're gonna put it in the middle.
426
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:24,440
- [electric drill whirring]
- [Kaleb] Whoa.
427
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:27,000
[Kaleb groaning] Make a mark.
428
00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,920
[Kaleb] Yeah, but the chain, look.
Look, the chain's not...
429
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:31,600
- Yeah, it's gonna be in the middle.
- [cracking]
430
00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:33,280
- [Jeremy] You've broken it.
- Yeah.
431
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,560
[Kaleb laughing]
432
00:22:37,640 --> 00:22:38,440
It's broke.
433
00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,840
I know it's broke. I just heard it.
434
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:44,360
- [Jeremy] Right, fire it up.
- [Kaleb] Ready? On.
435
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:46,280
[Jeremy sighing]
436
00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:47,600
[Kaleb] The good thing is
it's only the arrow.
437
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:49,240
[Jeremy] There's no good thing.
438
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,120
[soft rock music playing]
439
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,920
[Jeremy] On balance,
it was probably for the best
440
00:22:56,120 --> 00:23:01,080
that neither of us had been asked to help
build the enormous Grand Tour tent...
441
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:07,000
Which, thanks to the sterling work
of the professionals,
442
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,920
was now erect
and ready to be filled with things.
443
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:16,400
[Jeremy] This has been
to the Arctic Circle, Californian desert,
444
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:19,080
Johannesburg, Rotterdam.
445
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,480
It's been all over the world, this tent.
And now it's here.
446
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,640
[Annie] Hello.
447
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,400
[Jeremy] It's big, isn't it?
It's bigger than I remember it.
448
00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:28,400
It's huge.
449
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,800
- [Annie] There's just not much in it yet.
- [Jeremy] No.
450
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:32,440
- [music resumes playing]
- [worker] Easy!
451
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,560
[Jeremy] Work could now begin, though,
452
00:23:34,760 --> 00:23:37,960
on the installation
of my off licence and butcher's shop,
453
00:23:38,120 --> 00:23:41,120
which would be called "Hops & Chops".
454
00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,920
And with that going in,
it was time to meet David.
455
00:23:47,320 --> 00:23:49,480
- My personal favourite.
- And how long...
456
00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:52,280
[Jeremy] Who'd be supplying
meat for the pub as well.
457
00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:55,320
[David] I'm thinking
counter in the middle,
458
00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,200
so like a whole sirloin or a whole fillet
459
00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,920
that can then be portioned and steaked,
460
00:24:00,920 --> 00:24:03,320
with a bit of theatre as well.
Customers love that.
461
00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,400
[Jeremy] Okay, erm,
product tray displays.
462
00:24:06,600 --> 00:24:09,400
Is it like... Is it AstroTurf
they put in a butcher's counter?
463
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,440
Yeah, you could put AstroTurf in.
I probably wouldn't.
464
00:24:13,000 --> 00:24:15,000
I'm thinking something like fresh kale.
465
00:24:15,840 --> 00:24:17,120
Fresh kale every day.
466
00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:20,040
You put it in between the meat,
and it makes the meat pop.
467
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,360
- It brings the meat out.
- Yeah, that's a...
468
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:25,040
A use for kale at last.
469
00:24:25,240 --> 00:24:27,440
[Jeremy] We then moved on
to an important topic
470
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:30,840
that was becoming increasingly vexing.
471
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:34,920
- Now, British produce.
- Yeah.
472
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:39,680
When I got the "British" memo
come through, that was...
473
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:41,040
So I had this rule,
474
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,720
which I said we're only going
to sell stuff that was grown
475
00:24:43,920 --> 00:24:47,080
- or reared, no Coca Cola, no coffee.
- Okay.
476
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:49,920
[Jeremy] I've started to understand,
as time has gone on,
477
00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:52,880
just how bloody difficult that is.
478
00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,720
- Yeah, okay.
- [Jeremy] You can't have gin and tonic,
479
00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,480
'cause tonic: quinine.
480
00:24:57,640 --> 00:25:00,760
You can't have gin and bitter lemon,
because of the lemon.
481
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:02,000
No gin and orange.
482
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:04,040
The only thing you can have
is gin and water.
483
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,880
And apparently,
that's not a popular drink.
484
00:25:07,280 --> 00:25:09,800
- Okay, so thinking meat related.
- [Jeremy] Yes, quite.
485
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:11,400
- Pepper.
- [Jeremy] Black pepper.
486
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:14,520
That goes in
a lot of meat-related products.
487
00:25:14,720 --> 00:25:17,600
[Jeremy] Black pepper, I appreciate,
is a serious issue.
488
00:25:17,800 --> 00:25:20,360
If someone was growing black pepper
in this country,
489
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:21,920
we will buy your black pepper,
490
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:23,960
not imported black pepper.
491
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,000
But at the moment no one is, so...
492
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,240
- And preservatives.
- [Jeremy] Yeah, that's...
493
00:25:29,760 --> 00:25:32,080
Preservatives. That's gonna be one.
That's gonna be a hard one.
494
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:36,160
Meat looks rank
if you don't use it. Is that right?
495
00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,320
It... As meat gets processed,
it gets oxidised.
496
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:42,840
As soon as it gets oxidised,
then you've got three-day shelf life.
497
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,560
Which is fine for the burger van
498
00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,960
because you're turning it over
so quickly.
499
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,320
But from a shop point of view,
500
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:52,240
that pack of burgers are gonna sit...
501
00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:53,640
So if you don't use preservatives,
it starts to look...
502
00:25:54,560 --> 00:25:55,600
- [David] It does.
- Brown.
503
00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,920
It could get back to a customer's fridge,
two days later,
504
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,680
someone opens their fridge door and...
505
00:26:03,080 --> 00:26:04,400
think, "Christ.
506
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:05,840
- Can't eat that."
- "I bought a corpse."
507
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:06,800
[David] Yeah.
508
00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:09,480
And the preservatives
are not made in the UK.
509
00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:10,520
[David sighs]
510
00:26:10,680 --> 00:26:13,160
[David] I think
that is gonna be a real hard one.
511
00:26:14,280 --> 00:26:17,080
I mean, everybody wants to be
an Instagram influencer.
512
00:26:17,280 --> 00:26:19,120
Nobody wants to invent...
513
00:26:20,520 --> 00:26:21,520
Stuff that we need.
514
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,120
[Jeremy] Preservatives for meat.
515
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,000
- Probably not high on their...
- [Jeremy] I think
516
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,320
there's enough Instagram influencers now.
517
00:26:29,360 --> 00:26:31,440
- Need more meat people.
- [Jeremy] We do.
518
00:26:31,640 --> 00:26:34,200
[epic music playing]
519
00:26:34,360 --> 00:26:37,640
[Jeremy] The conversation with David
had been a worry,
520
00:26:37,800 --> 00:26:40,560
and there was no time
to think of a solution
521
00:26:40,720 --> 00:26:45,440
because with the clock ticking,
I was being bombarded with questions
522
00:26:45,840 --> 00:26:48,120
from everyone.
523
00:26:48,600 --> 00:26:50,240
I need to speak to you and Charlie
524
00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:53,160
about how food supply
is actually gonna work.
525
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:54,960
Because it's not just pigs, cows.
526
00:26:55,120 --> 00:26:58,080
It's flour, it's sugar,
it's potatoes, it's veg.
527
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:00,640
And are you happy with the chairs?
Not these wooden hard ones.
528
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,720
- We're liking the ropey ones.
- [Jeremy] Erm...
529
00:27:03,920 --> 00:27:05,400
We gotta plant this hedge
round here or not?
530
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:07,400
- [Jeremy] Yeah.
- What, do you want it dug in properly?
531
00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:10,880
You need a shipping container? Why...
532
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:13,880
- [Jeremy] Honestly?
- [Mark] We need a place to put our stock.
533
00:27:14,080 --> 00:27:17,760
But it's gonna look like Felixstowe docks
if we have another one, honestly.
534
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:19,760
How do you feel about defibrillators?
535
00:27:21,040 --> 00:27:23,640
- Erm, there's a question about power.
- What?
536
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,360
[Annie] I need to talk to you
about gin as well.
537
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:26,560
- [Jeremy] Gin?
- Yeah.
538
00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:30,320
How do you feel about an antler
chandelier in the carvery room?
539
00:27:30,520 --> 00:27:33,560
Who am I dealing with to make
the interior of this kitchen food-safe?
540
00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:35,360
[Jeremy] What?
541
00:27:35,560 --> 00:27:38,040
Shall we just get two sizes
of picnic benches then?
542
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:41,880
- I'm not even sure two sizes now.
- More like a garden vibe on the grass.
543
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,160
[Sue] The only thing is,
the circular are 540.
544
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,320
Oh, and the good thing
about that garden furniture is it is...
545
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,800
When you've got so many questions,
546
00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,080
it's hard to focus on anything properly.
547
00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:57,680
'Cause I'll just get a question:
"What shall I do about the floor?"
548
00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,760
I'm halfway through the floor, Mark says,
"I need another shipping container."
549
00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:07,080
[Jeremy] To try and drown out
the relentless questioning,
550
00:28:08,040 --> 00:28:11,800
I decided to get involved
with the loudest job going.
551
00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:14,760
[electric saw whirring]
552
00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,560
[Jeremy] Removing
the dangerous and wonky trees
553
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,920
from the old dogging site.
554
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:33,320
Once the trees were down,
I moved in with the Robo mulcher.
555
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:34,520
[Jeremy] Here we go.
556
00:28:35,520 --> 00:28:36,680
Good!
557
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,560
[Jeremy] My second-favourite machine
in the world.
558
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,040
And yes, you heard that right,
559
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:50,840
because I now had
a new favourite machine in the world.
560
00:28:51,520 --> 00:28:54,520
[epic music playing]
561
00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:55,800
- [Jeremy] Right, are you ready, Kaleb?
- [Kaleb] Yeah.
562
00:28:56,600 --> 00:29:00,800
[Jeremy] Welcome, everyone,
to the Tree Stumpinator.
563
00:29:02,160 --> 00:29:05,320
[epic music continues playing]
564
00:29:05,480 --> 00:29:06,360
[Jeremy laughing]
565
00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,720
Check it out!
566
00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,440
[Jeremy] You're gonna have to get one!
567
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:13,200
[Kaleb] The sound of it!
568
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:16,320
[crushing]
569
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:20,440
[Jeremy] Where's the next one?
570
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:22,480
[Kaleb] There's one here.
571
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:28,880
[Gerald speaking indistinctly]
Two kittens, he said...
572
00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,360
This is the most satisfying thing
I've ever done.
573
00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:36,440
[Jeremy laughing]
574
00:29:37,240 --> 00:29:39,720
It won't actually pull it round then,
Kaleb,
575
00:29:39,880 --> 00:29:41,960
when it's right down in a foot deep, hey?
576
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:46,040
[Jeremy] Once I'd minced all the stumps,
577
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,080
I moved on to another wood-based job,
578
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:53,280
only this one was much more delicate.
579
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:55,720
- [soft music playing]
- [electric drill whirring]
580
00:29:55,920 --> 00:29:57,520
What's your idea for this?
581
00:29:57,720 --> 00:29:59,000
The whole roof is this.
582
00:29:59,160 --> 00:30:00,480
[Lisa] And then you're gonna put
fairy lights around it?
583
00:30:00,640 --> 00:30:02,480
Yeah, and then you run
fairy lights through it.
584
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:05,600
- [Lisa] The lights aren't...
- [Jeremy] Shit.
585
00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:06,600
You've moved.
586
00:30:06,760 --> 00:30:10,400
[Lisa] Were any women involved
in doing this practically?
587
00:30:10,600 --> 00:30:15,200
[electric drill whirring]
588
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,240
[Jeremy] What the fuck?
589
00:30:16,440 --> 00:30:18,880
- So now...
- [Jeremy choking]
590
00:30:20,720 --> 00:30:21,720
[Lisa] Is that sawdust?
591
00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:23,720
[Jeremy] I've got
so much sawdust in my eyes.
592
00:30:23,880 --> 00:30:25,440
What size clip would you like?
593
00:30:27,440 --> 00:30:30,440
- [Jeremy] Right, here we go.
- [Alan] Keep it straight.
594
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,920
[Jeremy] I feel like Michelangelo.
595
00:30:35,480 --> 00:30:36,800
[Gerald] That'll do, Jeremy, I think.
596
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,200
- [Gerald] Oh shit.
- [Jeremy] Oh, you wanker.
597
00:30:41,400 --> 00:30:43,400
[laughing]
598
00:30:44,400 --> 00:30:47,360
[soft music playing]
599
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:51,280
{\an8}[Jeremy] With opening day
fast approaching,
600
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,600
{\an8}the sand was now falling
through the hourglass
601
00:30:54,760 --> 00:30:56,600
at an alarming rate.
602
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,800
But given the stop-start nature
of the weather,
603
00:31:00,680 --> 00:31:03,520
Kaleb and I had to take
our harvesting opportunities
604
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:05,600
whenever they came along.
605
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:07,920
- [Jeremy] Have you got all the kit?
- [Kaleb] Yeah.
606
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,400
[Jeremy] And today was looking hopeful.
607
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:13,760
Let's have a listen.
608
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,280
- [machine grinding]
- Go on then. Do your guess.
609
00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:17,960
[machine grinding]
610
00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:22,120
- 15.4.
- Okay.
611
00:31:22,280 --> 00:31:24,120
I'm gonna do it listening, okay?
612
00:31:24,280 --> 00:31:25,480
[grinding]
613
00:31:28,360 --> 00:31:30,000
I'm gonna say 15.7.
614
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:32,520
[beeping]
615
00:31:33,200 --> 00:31:35,560
Ooh. Fucking hell. Let's go!
616
00:31:35,720 --> 00:31:37,560
Let's not show
the ladies and gentlemen that.
617
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:39,000
No. What did you reckon? 14?
618
00:31:39,160 --> 00:31:40,320
Yeah, I said 14.1.
619
00:31:40,480 --> 00:31:42,280
- Yeah, I said 14, so.
- Yeah, we're both...
620
00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:45,120
- Basically. 14.1.
- [Kaleb] We're basically...
621
00:31:45,280 --> 00:31:46,080
[Kaleb] Nailed it.
622
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:47,800
I don't know why
we even bother coming out testing it.
623
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:51,800
Exactly, we just... This morning,
I thought, "There is no dew."
624
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,520
[Jeremy] Right, tractors then.
625
00:31:54,960 --> 00:32:00,280
[Jeremy] Back at the yard, I climbed once
more into the rural "Millennium Falcon".
626
00:32:01,160 --> 00:32:02,360
Air con back on.
627
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:05,560
It's so quiet and subtle,
you'd barely know.
628
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,440
[air blowing]
629
00:32:07,600 --> 00:32:08,560
Yeah.
630
00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:11,280
[beeping]
631
00:32:11,720 --> 00:32:14,760
[Jeremy] Now I've got a Service Alarm,
a red Service Alarm,
632
00:32:14,920 --> 00:32:17,360
to go with the yellow Armrest Alarm.
633
00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,360
And this funny blue thing,
which looks like it might be AdBlue
634
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,520
or air conditioning, I don't know.
635
00:32:23,680 --> 00:32:25,320
- Armrest Alarm.
- [beeping]
636
00:32:26,400 --> 00:32:27,720
Fucking hell.
637
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:28,800
[beeping]
638
00:32:28,960 --> 00:32:30,600
Stop beeping!
639
00:32:30,760 --> 00:32:32,280
[beeping continues]
640
00:32:32,440 --> 00:32:35,920
This was a catastrophically bad buy,
this tractor.
641
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:39,520
I am going to get my silver tractor
out of retirement
642
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,040
because it's better than this one.
643
00:32:43,920 --> 00:32:47,040
[Jeremy] The plan was to mop up
the remaining barley.
644
00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:51,280
But our hopes for a good yield
were not high
645
00:32:51,440 --> 00:32:55,960
because in this field,
the weeds had run amok.
646
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:00,480
[Jeremy] Look at it.
647
00:33:01,920 --> 00:33:03,000
I mean, that...
648
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,000
That's supposed to all be barley.
649
00:33:05,160 --> 00:33:08,000
Look at the green weeds everywhere.
650
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:10,040
That's bloody awful.
651
00:33:10,760 --> 00:33:13,520
[soft music playing]
652
00:33:17,720 --> 00:33:21,240
[Jeremy] Charlie had already said that
because of this year's terrible weather,
653
00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:24,760
we should be happy
if we got five tons per hectare.
654
00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,520
But as the afternoon wore on,
655
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:33,080
it was clear we wouldn't even get that.
656
00:33:34,920 --> 00:33:37,320
K, do you want me to tell you
the yield or not?
657
00:33:37,960 --> 00:33:39,280
Not really, no.
658
00:33:40,360 --> 00:33:41,840
0.9 of a ton.
659
00:33:42,280 --> 00:33:44,760
1.9 a ton a hectare?
660
00:33:45,160 --> 00:33:47,760
[Simon over radio] No, not 1.9, 0.9.
661
00:33:48,680 --> 00:33:50,640
Jesus Christ.
662
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,560
- That is...
- [beeping]
663
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:56,040
That's why my tractor's
beeping at me all the time.
664
00:33:56,240 --> 00:33:58,600
It says,
"You are wasting your time doing this.
665
00:33:58,760 --> 00:34:00,440
You haven't grown anything."
666
00:34:03,920 --> 00:34:06,920
[soft music playing]
667
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:09,760
[Jeremy] With the weather holding,
668
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:12,320
we kept on harvesting
through the next day
669
00:34:14,160 --> 00:34:15,840
and into the evening.
670
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,920
But the effort
of juggling the pub and the harvest
671
00:34:24,240 --> 00:34:27,000
was now wiping me out.
672
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:33,960
I've had about
no more than four or five hours of sleep
673
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:36,760
for the last ten days.
674
00:34:39,280 --> 00:34:40,640
I'm knackered.
675
00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:43,720
Two days of harvesting.
676
00:34:47,440 --> 00:34:49,360
And then back to the pub.
677
00:34:57,960 --> 00:34:58,920
Close that.
678
00:34:59,080 --> 00:35:00,560
Phone on silent.
679
00:35:02,160 --> 00:35:04,760
[sighing] Nobody can get at me.
680
00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:13,760
[soft music playing]
681
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:17,080
[Jeremy] However,
this was a brief respite.
682
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:22,040
Because the following morning,
the first phone call of the day
683
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:25,960
put me straight back
on the conveyor belt of stress.
684
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,760
- [dial tone]
- [chiming]
685
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:30,400
Hi, Annie?
686
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:31,840
[Annie] I'm just leaving the pub.
687
00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,640
- Hello.
- How's it going?
688
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:38,040
Er, it's a bit stressful.
We are to the wire now.
689
00:35:38,240 --> 00:35:40,320
The toilets
aren't gonna make it here in time.
690
00:35:40,480 --> 00:35:44,400
Erm, and when they do get here,
they're gonna be on a crane.
691
00:35:44,560 --> 00:35:47,120
Erm, and we won't get them in
if the place is full of cars.
692
00:35:47,280 --> 00:35:50,280
And then there's a day's worth
of plumbing needed to fit them.
693
00:35:50,480 --> 00:35:54,160
We've got no toilets for everyone.
There's only the two in the pub for...
694
00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:57,360
There's only the two in the pub
and we've got nothing for the tent.
695
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:59,680
And we've got nothing for,
you know, anyone else.
696
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:03,560
Okay, no, no, well, okay, look...
I'll get on that. Yeah.
697
00:36:03,720 --> 00:36:06,600
- [stutters] What are the other problems?
- [Annie] And then,
698
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:08,360
we've had no electricians.
699
00:36:08,520 --> 00:36:11,320
There were power surges going on
in the tent yesterday.
700
00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:13,560
They're still stuck over in the pub.
701
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:18,560
[tense music playing]
702
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:24,000
[banging]
703
00:36:30,840 --> 00:36:33,880
The problem is the trades
just haven't finished.
704
00:36:34,040 --> 00:36:35,440
They're nowhere near finished.
705
00:36:36,040 --> 00:36:40,040
The wiring.
The sound system. The electrics.
706
00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:42,680
We haven't hung a picture. We haven't...
707
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,440
Carpentry, joinery.
Everything isn't finished.
708
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:47,920
We haven't cleaned the carpet.
709
00:36:48,080 --> 00:36:50,040
I mean, we're just miles away.
710
00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:52,720
[tense music continues playing]
711
00:36:52,920 --> 00:36:54,520
[Jeremy] The priorities were clear.
712
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,520
One, get the new bar built.
713
00:36:58,480 --> 00:37:02,360
Two, get the electricians
and fitters out of the kitchen
714
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:05,560
so Nick could start prepping food.
715
00:37:06,960 --> 00:37:11,320
And three, get the joiners and decorators
out of everywhere
716
00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:16,880
so Sue and Rachel
could turn this building site into a pub.
717
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:23,840
If you have all laid-up,
low-level tables,
718
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:26,040
it looks like just walking
into a dining room.
719
00:37:26,240 --> 00:37:27,560
So we are having that here.
720
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:30,960
The twinkly light off the glasses,
looks great, looks nice and organised,
721
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:34,240
and this is where you'd come
with your mum for lunch or whatever.
722
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,640
If you walked into that bar, you want
to see it all buzzing, don't you?
723
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:39,240
- Yeah.
- You've got people standing at the bar.
724
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:40,200
The dog.
725
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:41,640
You've got people standing
in the central, a dog on the floor.
726
00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:44,280
And then you've got
high and low seating in that room.
727
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:48,280
- [tense music playing]
- [banging and whirring]
728
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:53,600
[Jeremy] Over the next 24 hours,
work went on at a furious pace.
729
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,720
[Alan] Come forward a bit. Whoa.
730
00:37:57,920 --> 00:38:01,840
Then we need to come round square, so
when the tractor's up it's dead square.
731
00:38:03,920 --> 00:38:05,360
Well, we're cooking on.
732
00:38:06,040 --> 00:38:07,480
[whirring]
733
00:38:11,800 --> 00:38:14,720
[Jeremy] The electricians, however,
were seriously struggling
734
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:16,520
to get the kitchen operational.
735
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,320
Have you any idea when
you're gonna be finished in the kitchen?
736
00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:21,520
- Today.
- [electrician] Today.
737
00:38:21,680 --> 00:38:22,960
- 100%?
- Yes.
738
00:38:23,120 --> 00:38:25,560
You really, really, really, really...
I'm doing it, Nick,
739
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:26,560
I'm doing it.
740
00:38:33,360 --> 00:38:36,040
[Jeremy] Come the end
of another knackering day,
741
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,760
I was secretly praying
742
00:38:37,920 --> 00:38:41,360
that it'd be too wet
to do an evening harvest.
743
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:43,800
But it wasn't.
744
00:38:44,320 --> 00:38:45,960
So I had to go to the yard
745
00:38:46,800 --> 00:38:48,840
and fire up the Lambo.
746
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:53,000
- [yawning]
- I am tired.
747
00:38:54,760 --> 00:38:55,840
[yawning] Excuse me.
748
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:57,240
Opening a pub
749
00:38:59,200 --> 00:39:01,600
and doing a harvest simultaneously...
750
00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:07,320
Yeah.
751
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:14,000
[Jeremy over radio]
How are we looking, Simon?
752
00:39:15,560 --> 00:39:17,400
Er, it's about 80% full, I think.
753
00:39:20,840 --> 00:39:23,040
Now then, a nighttime load.
754
00:39:27,920 --> 00:39:30,040
[beeping]
755
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:40,000
Right.
756
00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:43,040
This could be an all-nighter.
757
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:46,600
[Jeremy] And it was.
758
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:55,840
[soft music playing]
759
00:39:56,000 --> 00:39:57,280
Which meant that in the morning,
760
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:01,680
I was beyond frazzled.
761
00:40:03,040 --> 00:40:05,560
I need you out of this kitchen now.
762
00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:06,840
- Okay.
- [Jeremy] Now.
763
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,440
[Jeremy] How long do you need?
I was told you'd be finished last night.
764
00:40:10,600 --> 00:40:12,640
[electrician] Er, another hour or two.
765
00:40:12,800 --> 00:40:15,800
No. I was promised
you'd be finished last night.
766
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:18,640
- We can't get the kitchen open...
- [electrician] Right.
767
00:40:18,840 --> 00:40:21,080
[Jeremy] Until you get this finished.
768
00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:24,600
I mean, look at the fucking wiring.
769
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:26,880
- [Jeremy] Sorry about this.
- We did agree yesterday that...
770
00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,720
I was told, 100%,
they would be finished last night.
771
00:40:30,880 --> 00:40:33,640
He said, "We will be finished",
last night.
772
00:40:33,800 --> 00:40:35,600
I've just been told it's an hour or two.
773
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:37,160
[tradesman] Who told you that?
774
00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:42,040
Can we verify that "finished" for us to
cook in this kitchen is no ceiling tile?
775
00:40:42,240 --> 00:40:43,560
Like the doors back on that.
776
00:40:43,720 --> 00:40:45,560
- [Jeremy] Yeah.
- Like food-safe finished.
777
00:40:45,720 --> 00:40:47,960
- We need to prepare food in here.
- Yeah, not like that.
778
00:40:48,120 --> 00:40:50,400
- This isn't just like, "Yeah, okay."
- [tradesman] That's the electricians.
779
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,920
No, it's fine. From our end,
we don't give a fuck whose it is, so.
780
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:54,120
[Jeremy] Alan?
781
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:55,880
[Nick] We've already
lost one day of prep.
782
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:58,320
We've gotta be finished and out
of here by 10 o'clock this morning.
783
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,880
[Jeremy] Rachel and Sue
were in the same boat as Nick.
784
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:06,240
If we had the luxury of time we would do
a deep clean, unpack the furniture,
785
00:41:06,440 --> 00:41:08,720
put it in place.
We're up against it, aren't we?
786
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:11,760
So we're gonna get the furniture out
to label up the table numbers
787
00:41:11,920 --> 00:41:14,720
in order to programme the tills
so people can take an order.
788
00:41:14,880 --> 00:41:17,560
- [Jeremy] Even though the floor's a mess?
- [Sue] Yeah.
789
00:41:17,760 --> 00:41:19,400
Power, why have we got power surges?
790
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,480
In the tent,
apparently, there's power surges.
791
00:41:21,680 --> 00:41:24,520
It will be at the moment 'cause
we're still finishing all the faults.
792
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:27,800
- [Alan] We've got 200 amps to share.
- [Jeremy] We've got 50 going down there.
793
00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:29,120
[Alan] Yeah, that's it, we've got...
794
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:31,280
And I don't know
what a power surge is,
795
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:34,080
but it sounds like they've got 50
and then 10 and then 100.
796
00:41:34,280 --> 00:41:36,920
That's 'cause it's faulty up this end
and we're just trying to suss that now.
797
00:41:38,480 --> 00:41:41,720
[soft music playing]
798
00:41:43,600 --> 00:41:45,280
[electrician] Can you press it?
799
00:41:45,480 --> 00:41:46,880
[electric drill whirring]
800
00:41:50,440 --> 00:41:53,640
[Jeremy] The electricians
were true to their word this time,
801
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:57,440
and by mid-morning
had vacated the kitchen
802
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:00,800
so it could be filled
with cooking people.
803
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:04,400
Nick? 11 o'clock.
804
00:42:04,560 --> 00:42:06,080
Yeah, fantastic.
805
00:42:06,240 --> 00:42:07,680
[tradesman] It's been a long time.
806
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:10,200
"She's breathing, captain.
She's breathing."
807
00:42:10,400 --> 00:42:11,640
[Nick] I've got the onions. Let's go.
808
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:14,640
[Jeremy] And not before time,
because soon,
809
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:19,080
members of the farming cooperative
started to arrive with supplies.
810
00:42:19,520 --> 00:42:21,000
- [Jeremy] Eggs?
- For you.
811
00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:23,960
- [Jeremy] There was Mr Cacklebean.
- [farmer] Where would you like 'em, sir?
812
00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,240
[Jeremy] In the kitchen.
813
00:42:25,440 --> 00:42:27,480
- Hey, Emma. How are you?
- Morning.
814
00:42:27,640 --> 00:42:29,080
[Jeremy] Emma from the dairy.
815
00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:31,640
- So this is milk?
- So this is your milk, yeah.
816
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,200
[Emma] Better get it in the fridge.
817
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:35,960
[Jeremy] And Imogen
from the vegetable farm.
818
00:42:36,680 --> 00:42:39,080
- Ta-da!
- I brought you some potatoes.
819
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:41,400
[Jeremy] Good news.
820
00:42:41,840 --> 00:42:44,720
Ahem. I bring you potatoes.
821
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:46,680
[Nick] Wonderful. Well done, mate.
822
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,480
Nick? How often will we need
deliveries of this size?
823
00:42:50,640 --> 00:42:54,000
[Nick] I think when this is rolling along
properly we'll get through
824
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:55,360
more than half a ton a week.
825
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:58,760
I think we're probably looking
at about seven fifty kilo a week.
826
00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:00,880
This makes me so happy though,
827
00:43:01,080 --> 00:43:02,600
to actually, after two years,
828
00:43:02,760 --> 00:43:06,280
when I first spoke to Imogen
about can we get a cooperative going,
829
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:09,720
to actually have you delivering potatoes
to our restaurant.
830
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:11,320
- [Imogen] Yeah.
- Is...
831
00:43:11,480 --> 00:43:13,400
It just makes my heart sing.
832
00:43:13,960 --> 00:43:15,600
But we're here to back British farming.
833
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:17,400
We're having to use British black pepper.
834
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:18,360
[Imogen] British black pepper?
835
00:43:18,520 --> 00:43:19,960
That's... How much is it? £100?
836
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,960
-£100 a kilo.
- As opposed to ten.
837
00:43:23,760 --> 00:43:26,160
There'll be no black pepper
in the mashed potato then?
838
00:43:26,560 --> 00:43:27,560
- Oh no, there will.
- Probably a bit.
839
00:43:27,720 --> 00:43:30,120
- There'll be Cornish-grown, like...
- Dink!
840
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:31,080
Dink!
841
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:33,400
[Nick] Here we go.
842
00:43:34,920 --> 00:43:35,720
Wakey wakey.
843
00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:37,960
[upbeat music playing]
844
00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:42,800
[Jeremy] At lunchtime, the newly
recruited staff started to arrive.
845
00:43:43,000 --> 00:43:43,800
Hi!
846
00:43:44,320 --> 00:43:46,000
[Jeremy] And in order
to get them settled,
847
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:51,160
Sue and Rachel gave them
a Gen Z-focused HR pep talk.
848
00:43:52,480 --> 00:43:56,360
The main thing I'm after is a massive
smile, a positive mental attitude,
849
00:43:56,560 --> 00:43:59,120
a can-do attitude, and camaraderie.
850
00:43:59,320 --> 00:44:02,800
We're all in it together and we're all
trying to make it successful, aren't we?
851
00:44:03,200 --> 00:44:07,360
And we do want you to feel really secure
and able to do your jobs really well.
852
00:44:07,960 --> 00:44:12,440
[Jeremy] I then decided to add
a few motivational words of my own.
853
00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,680
One thing I cannot stand is gormlessness.
854
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:21,200
And I don't want
slovenly oiks leaning on things.
855
00:44:21,960 --> 00:44:26,280
Erm, this is designed
to back British farming.
856
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,040
If anybody wants a Coca Cola,
they can fuck off.
857
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:32,600
Okay? It's all good, locally grown food.
858
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:35,000
I'm afraid that costs a bit more.
859
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:36,880
You're gonna get people going "'Ow much?"
860
00:44:37,560 --> 00:44:39,520
[Jeremy] If you could just say,
861
00:44:39,720 --> 00:44:42,520
"Listen, fuckwit, if you wanna go
and eat shit grown in Indonesia
862
00:44:43,120 --> 00:44:44,120
full of sawdust,
863
00:44:44,280 --> 00:44:46,880
plenty of other pubs around the place
that can help you out with that."
864
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:48,480
Erm...
865
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,840
Good, good. Well, listen, have fun.
866
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,680
["Alright"
by Electric Light Orchestra playing]
867
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:00,240
{\an8}[Jeremy] With the extra hands on board,
we all got back to work.
868
00:45:01,320 --> 00:45:02,120
Over there.
869
00:45:02,320 --> 00:45:05,880
♪ The gold veranda in the dark
has gone... ♪
870
00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:10,400
[Jeremy] And soon, the canopy people
arrived to remove my folly.
871
00:45:11,360 --> 00:45:12,600
[Jeremy] Yeah, sorry about this.
872
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:14,480
♪ No better time to leave the ground ♪
873
00:45:15,120 --> 00:45:17,400
♪ And maybe try to understand... ♪
874
00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,720
[Alan] Let me see to this. Go steady.
875
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:23,840
Just check that end's in the right place.
876
00:45:24,600 --> 00:45:25,840
- [man] All right? All right?
- [boy] Yeah.
877
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:27,240
[Alan] All right, boys,
that's it, that's it.
878
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,120
- [Rachel] Amazing.
- [Alan] Oh yeah.
879
00:45:32,680 --> 00:45:34,000
[Jeremy] By late afternoon,
880
00:45:35,360 --> 00:45:37,400
with the new budget umbrellas
881
00:45:37,600 --> 00:45:40,400
making the decking
look like a proper terrace...
882
00:45:40,840 --> 00:45:42,760
[Jeremy] That's so much better.
883
00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:47,320
[Jeremy] I suddenly realised
that the pub's signature showpiece
884
00:45:47,920 --> 00:45:50,000
was nowhere to be seen.
885
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:51,760
[dial tone]
886
00:45:54,520 --> 00:45:57,080
- [Richard over the phone] Hello.
- Hammond.
887
00:45:57,280 --> 00:45:59,120
- [Richard] How are you?
- It's me. All right. How are you?
888
00:45:59,280 --> 00:46:01,400
[Richard] Er, very well, thank you.
Very well indeed.
889
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:03,000
Er, it's amazing I've got a signal.
890
00:46:03,160 --> 00:46:05,400
I'm in the Himalayas. So, erm...
891
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:06,960
I'm sorry, you're where?
892
00:46:07,160 --> 00:46:09,360
[Richard] Yes, I'm riding motorbikes.
893
00:46:10,200 --> 00:46:13,440
So how... No, I'm not interested
in your holiday.
894
00:46:13,600 --> 00:46:15,720
- What about my tractor...
- I'm also 11,000 feet.
895
00:46:15,880 --> 00:46:18,840
- I don't...
- Remember when you ate Viagra?
896
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:22,000
- [Richard speaking indistinctly]
- Where is my tractor?
897
00:46:22,200 --> 00:46:23,360
Are we gonna get the tractor today?
898
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:27,960
[Jeremy] Luckily, Buttons' men
were not work-shy motorbicyclists.
899
00:46:28,440 --> 00:46:31,040
And an hour later, they arrived.
900
00:46:31,240 --> 00:46:33,520
[soft music playing]
901
00:46:37,440 --> 00:46:38,360
[Jeremy] Look at that.
902
00:46:38,880 --> 00:46:40,720
[Kaleb] Holy moly!
903
00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:43,320
- Is it chromed?
- Yeah.
904
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,160
- [Kaleb laughing]
- It's chrome paint.
905
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:48,440
Wow!
906
00:46:48,600 --> 00:46:51,000
I've never seen Richard Hammond
do a good job.
907
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,200
And I suspect he hasn't
'cause he's in Nepal.
908
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:55,960
So his guys have done it.
909
00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:58,640
- But isn't that a fucking roof feature?
- It looks amazing.
910
00:46:59,280 --> 00:47:01,000
It seems such a waste
to put it in the pub.
911
00:47:01,400 --> 00:47:03,600
- But hanging from the ceiling?
- I know but...
912
00:47:04,720 --> 00:47:05,920
Looks awesome!
913
00:47:06,480 --> 00:47:09,200
I mean, very few pubs have these.
914
00:47:09,360 --> 00:47:11,640
- Well, from a ceiling.
- Look, he's even got his advert on it.
915
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:14,560
- Look at that.
- He is a tragic little man, isn't he?
916
00:47:15,760 --> 00:47:16,960
[soft music playing]
917
00:47:17,680 --> 00:47:19,960
- [Jeremy] Oh, look at it.
- Oh, there's loads of room, isn't it?
918
00:47:20,160 --> 00:47:20,960
[Jeremy] Yeah.
919
00:47:28,240 --> 00:47:30,400
{\an8}[Jeremy] But there was still
plenty of work to do.
920
00:47:30,600 --> 00:47:33,240
{\an8}And we'd be going well into the night.
921
00:47:34,440 --> 00:47:36,840
But over the last 48 hours,
922
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:41,560
this incredible team of people
had pulled off a miracle.
923
00:47:44,240 --> 00:47:46,400
- [Jeremy sniffing] Mmm!
- Masher.
924
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:48,320
- [Jeremy] That's for the crumble?
- Yes.
925
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:49,760
[Jeremy] Apple crumble.
926
00:47:50,520 --> 00:47:51,960
[Jeremy] Oh, look!
927
00:47:52,160 --> 00:47:53,120
Wow!
928
00:47:53,640 --> 00:47:55,840
[Lisa] Aw! Arya and Sans!
929
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:57,880
[Jeremy] Richard Ham!
930
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:01,480
[Lisa] Richard Ham!
With his little black eye!
931
00:48:01,680 --> 00:48:03,360
[soft music continues playing]
932
00:48:04,160 --> 00:48:06,400
- [Jeremy] Oh, wow.
- Look. Look.
933
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,600
[Jeremy] We've got
an actual butcher's shop.
934
00:48:08,800 --> 00:48:10,920
- But check out this meat.
- Holy Mother of God.
935
00:48:11,320 --> 00:48:12,720
[Lisa] Isn't that beautiful?
936
00:48:13,800 --> 00:48:16,680
[Jeremy] We then went
to look at Lisa's new farm shop.
937
00:48:16,840 --> 00:48:19,080
- [Jeremy] Ta-da!
- [Lisa] Rather nice, right?
938
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:20,760
- Candles.
- [Lisa] So in the morning,
939
00:48:20,920 --> 00:48:23,680
this will all be bread and pastries.
940
00:48:23,840 --> 00:48:26,040
And you can actually sell your scents,
941
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:30,360
without having West Oxfordshire District
Council shouting at you, and T-shirts.
942
00:48:34,280 --> 00:48:36,680
- Is anyone upstairs?
- [Rachel shouting] Yeah!
943
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:39,960
Can you just turn my tree lights on?
944
00:48:40,600 --> 00:48:41,520
That's got...
945
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:45,720
And God said, "Let there be light,"
946
00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,600
and there was light, and it is beautiful.
947
00:48:50,320 --> 00:48:52,800
Tractor's up. Bar's...
948
00:48:53,000 --> 00:48:54,880
Optics are up! That's brilliant.
949
00:48:55,080 --> 00:48:57,960
I mean, this is... We're gonna have this
ready by tomorrow lunchtime?
950
00:48:58,120 --> 00:48:59,920
- Oh, yeah.
- [Jeremy] Yeah, it's definite?
951
00:49:00,120 --> 00:49:02,960
[Jeremy] I mean,
okay, the carpet's filthy,
952
00:49:03,120 --> 00:49:04,520
that's a mess,
953
00:49:04,720 --> 00:49:09,000
but it's looking like a pub in here
954
00:49:09,160 --> 00:49:12,400
and it's looking
like a restaurant in there.
955
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:15,360
So I know this is...
I'm probably tempting fate here,
956
00:49:15,520 --> 00:49:18,720
but I am cautiously optimistic
957
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:20,720
that this will be ready
958
00:49:22,080 --> 00:49:23,800
by midday tomorrow.
959
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:25,400
[banging]
960
00:49:26,120 --> 00:49:27,400
{\an8}[Jeremy shouting] Music off!
961
00:49:27,600 --> 00:49:29,240
[groaning]
962
00:49:29,440 --> 00:49:31,840
- [chatter]
- [Jeremy] Oh, my giddy aunt.
963
00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:34,960
[chef] Oh, fucking heck, no.
964
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:37,120
Power cut. Fans are dead. No gas.
965
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:39,000
[Jeremy] Jesus.
966
00:49:39,520 --> 00:49:41,960
[dramatic banging]
967
00:49:43,360 --> 00:49:45,520
[soft music playing]
77137
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