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1
00:00:01,375 --> 00:00:04,175
You close with your family?
We get on with it.
2
00:00:04,175 --> 00:00:05,765
I have this amazing new partner
out there.
3
00:00:05,765 --> 00:00:07,295
He's really
pushed the company forward.
4
00:00:07,295 --> 00:00:08,615
She's commuting from Finland.
5
00:00:08,615 --> 00:00:10,845
Any friends? Sorry?
6
00:00:10,845 --> 00:00:13,405
Does your little cafe do canapes?
Yeah, it totally could.
7
00:00:13,405 --> 00:00:15,045
And I will hire you to do the
canapes.
8
00:00:15,045 --> 00:00:18,015
Just...a girl with no friends and an
empty heart?
9
00:00:18,015 --> 00:00:20,735
By your own description.
I have friends.
10
00:00:20,735 --> 00:00:22,456
Oh, have you got to go back to
Finland again?
11
00:00:22,456 --> 00:00:24,735
No, Finland are coming here.
Oh! That's easier for you.
12
00:00:24,735 --> 00:00:27,015
Sex didn't bring anything...good.
13
00:00:27,015 --> 00:00:29,225
And what have you found in your
abstinence?
14
00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,735
Oh, God, I fancy a priest.
15
00:00:30,735 --> 00:00:32,045
Thank you so much for helping.
16
00:00:32,045 --> 00:00:35,015
Father, we have a cupcake situation
over here! OK, Pam!
17
00:00:35,015 --> 00:00:36,095
Arm touch.
18
00:00:36,095 --> 00:00:38,695
I'm sorry for your loss. What? Your
baby.
19
00:00:38,695 --> 00:00:39,765
Does Martin know?
20
00:00:39,765 --> 00:00:41,655
You're not supposed to tell anyone
for the first...
21
00:00:41,655 --> 00:00:43,055
You can tell the father.
22
00:00:43,055 --> 00:00:44,735
Yes, Father? Come on, have a read.
23
00:00:44,735 --> 00:00:47,655
And if you ever want to talk about
stuff, I'm here.
24
00:00:47,655 --> 00:00:50,815
You can come whenever you want.
25
00:00:50,815 --> 00:00:52,765
I'd like you to come.
26
00:00:52,765 --> 00:00:55,265
If it helps.
27
00:01:07,095 --> 00:01:09,220
SHE GASPS
28
00:01:14,735 --> 00:01:15,945
Just don't...
29
00:01:15,945 --> 00:01:18,775
..talk too much or try to pretend
you know anything about the company.
30
00:01:18,775 --> 00:01:21,175
OK. And don't be funny
or clever or...
31
00:01:21,175 --> 00:01:22,945
Just don't be the centre of
attention.
32
00:01:22,945 --> 00:01:25,485
These people are very important to
me, so just don't... OK.
33
00:01:25,485 --> 00:01:28,615
..don't be yourself.
34
00:01:28,615 --> 00:01:30,615
I won't.
35
00:01:33,255 --> 00:01:38,255
FLEABAG BREAKS WIND
For fuck's sake.
36
00:01:38,255 --> 00:01:40,535
I know people in this building,
anyone could come...
37
00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:42,785
LIFT PINGS
38
00:01:43,025 --> 00:01:47,275
Hi, Claire. Hello, Leslie.
39
00:01:50,745 --> 00:01:53,370
LESLIE SNIFFS
40
00:01:53,895 --> 00:01:58,895
Oh, that's lovely. What is that?
41
00:01:59,565 --> 00:02:00,895
We have a load of vegetarians,
42
00:02:00,895 --> 00:02:03,495
so make sure it's clear which ones
have meat in them. Loves a crisis.
43
00:02:03,495 --> 00:02:05,255
We have a couple of waitresses for
the drinks,
44
00:02:05,255 --> 00:02:06,695
so if you could hand round the
food...
45
00:02:06,695 --> 00:02:09,255
Put her in a quiet room with a nice
breeze, she'll have a panic attack.
46
00:02:09,255 --> 00:02:13,255
Where is everyone? She's so happy.
God, this is stressful.
47
00:02:13,255 --> 00:02:15,565
Don't be weird about how
big my office is.
48
00:02:15,565 --> 00:02:17,305
What the fuck?
49
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,695
I know. Are you a..?
50
00:02:18,695 --> 00:02:20,495
It's over the top, I know.
51
00:02:20,495 --> 00:02:21,925
OK. Put them on the table.
52
00:02:21,925 --> 00:02:23,135
Not that table.
53
00:02:23,135 --> 00:02:25,466
Ooh. You OK?
Of course.
54
00:02:25,466 --> 00:02:27,615
It's just that it's a big night and
the Finnish partners
55
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:29,775
are here, so it's all a bit...
56
00:02:29,775 --> 00:02:31,975
Oh, check the award.
Why?
57
00:02:31,975 --> 00:02:34,495
Just to make sure it's not pink or
anything horrifically female.
58
00:02:34,495 --> 00:02:35,575
She'll loathe that.
59
00:02:35,575 --> 00:02:37,575
Be careful with it.
It's worth thousands.
60
00:02:37,575 --> 00:02:39,336
It's not pink. Good.
61
00:02:39,336 --> 00:02:41,025
It's perfect. It looks like a sperm.
62
00:02:41,025 --> 00:02:42,855
Your hair looks nice.
Shut up.
63
00:02:42,855 --> 00:02:43,895
OK.
64
00:02:43,895 --> 00:02:45,665
Don't sit on that!
65
00:02:45,665 --> 00:02:47,495
OK, put those on the posh plates.
66
00:02:47,495 --> 00:02:48,975
Put the award behind the microphone.
67
00:02:48,975 --> 00:02:51,725
Oh, and, um...
68
00:02:56,055 --> 00:02:57,575
..thank you.
69
00:02:57,575 --> 00:02:59,255
You've really, er...
70
00:02:59,255 --> 00:03:01,505
Thank you.
71
00:03:02,975 --> 00:03:06,600
Don't play with that.
72
00:03:09,855 --> 00:03:10,895
Oh, that's heavy.
73
00:03:10,895 --> 00:03:12,520
Argh!
74
00:03:15,415 --> 00:03:18,025
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck...
75
00:03:18,025 --> 00:03:19,775
God...
76
00:03:20,775 --> 00:03:23,025
BELL TOLLS
77
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:32,900
SHE GASPS
78
00:03:39,935 --> 00:03:41,295
INDISTINCT CHATTER
79
00:03:41,295 --> 00:03:45,170
Excuse me, excuse me...
80
00:03:48,545 --> 00:03:50,670
SHE SIGHS
81
00:03:57,985 --> 00:04:00,415
Where have you been? Sorry, I
had to get the vegetarian bites.
82
00:04:00,415 --> 00:04:03,385
But it's all fine. You're going to
love them. You're sweating so much.
83
00:04:03,385 --> 00:04:04,905
Sorry. It's attention grabbing.
84
00:04:04,905 --> 00:04:07,216
It's only on one side.
85
00:04:07,216 --> 00:04:10,185
Erm, sorry, this is Sylvia.
86
00:04:10,185 --> 00:04:12,185
She's going to be presenting
the award, so...
87
00:04:12,185 --> 00:04:13,985
..when you hear me introduce her,
get on stage.
88
00:04:13,985 --> 00:04:16,185
Hi. Has this got shellfish in it?
89
00:04:16,185 --> 00:04:18,135
No. Fine.
90
00:04:18,135 --> 00:04:21,015
Four CEOs have been fired.
Two are being taken to court.
91
00:04:21,015 --> 00:04:23,825
I mean, it's just sad.
We felt like a family.
92
00:04:23,825 --> 00:04:26,216
Yeah. Especially sad when you have
to tell your family not to
93
00:04:26,216 --> 00:04:28,105
touch each other up
by the photocopier.
94
00:04:28,105 --> 00:04:30,355
THEY LAUGH
95
00:04:30,495 --> 00:04:32,705
Stop making jokes. I'm sorry, I
can't help it.
96
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:34,825
Well, you can.
Oh, Belinda's coming.
97
00:04:34,825 --> 00:04:36,545
Don't speak to Belinda.
98
00:04:36,545 --> 00:04:39,625
Hello, Claire.
Hello, Belinda.
99
00:04:39,625 --> 00:04:41,466
God, you're tasteful.
Mmm.
100
00:04:41,466 --> 00:04:44,966
Oh, are these meaty?
101
00:04:48,105 --> 00:04:50,625
Say something. Er, no, I think they
have courgette in them.
102
00:04:50,625 --> 00:04:52,825
Oh, I love courgette.
103
00:04:52,825 --> 00:05:00,105
You can treat them appallingly
and they still grow.
104
00:05:00,105 --> 00:05:02,735
She seems lovely.
Yeah, she's great.
105
00:05:02,735 --> 00:05:05,495
So, who are you so nervous about?
I'm not nervous.
106
00:05:05,495 --> 00:05:06,655
I'm being completely...
107
00:05:06,655 --> 00:05:07,775
Claire!
108
00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,650
Oh! Hi!
109
00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:12,425
Oh! God, sorry. I'm so glad you
could come.
110
00:05:12,425 --> 00:05:14,545
Of course. It's my job.
111
00:05:14,545 --> 00:05:17,216
This is my catering. She's the
sister. Hi.
112
00:05:17,216 --> 00:05:20,466
I ate a sausage over there
thinking it was a prune.
113
00:05:20,466 --> 00:05:23,466
15 years of vegetarianism, gone!
Like bang, bang!
114
00:05:23,466 --> 00:05:24,935
THEY LAUGH
115
00:05:24,935 --> 00:05:26,466
We do actually call them bangers.
116
00:05:26,466 --> 00:05:28,015
Ah, that's funny!
117
00:05:28,015 --> 00:05:30,515
Yes, it was.
118
00:05:30,985 --> 00:05:32,735
So, how do you two know each other?
119
00:05:32,735 --> 00:05:34,425
BOTH: We are partners...
120
00:05:34,425 --> 00:05:35,495
Business partners.
121
00:05:35,495 --> 00:05:37,985
Yes, she's been working with me in
Finland.
122
00:05:37,985 --> 00:05:40,375
We don't get to see each other
that much. No, exactly.
123
00:05:40,375 --> 00:05:41,935
I'm a huge...
I'm a big fan.
124
00:05:41,935 --> 00:05:45,560
Thank you. ..admirer.
125
00:05:46,785 --> 00:05:49,096
I'm going to get a drink.
Do you want anything?
126
00:05:49,096 --> 00:05:50,935
Oh, champagne, please.
127
00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:52,655
Oh, off the wagon?
128
00:05:52,655 --> 00:05:54,295
Just when I'm with you.
129
00:05:54,295 --> 00:05:55,825
THEY LAUGH
130
00:05:55,825 --> 00:05:58,065
Let's go fucking crazy
tonight, then.
131
00:05:58,065 --> 00:05:59,565
Hmm?
132
00:05:59,865 --> 00:06:02,375
What did you say?
No, no, I... I was...
133
00:06:02,375 --> 00:06:05,045
No, what did you say?
Oh, just...
134
00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:09,295
I just said, "Let's go
fuck like crazy tonight."
135
00:06:09,295 --> 00:06:10,575
Oh, God.
136
00:06:10,575 --> 00:06:11,950
OK!
137
00:06:14,705 --> 00:06:17,705
NERVOUS LAUGHTER
138
00:06:21,935 --> 00:06:24,346
Shut up. Oh, my God!
139
00:06:24,346 --> 00:06:27,825
He is a very good businessman.
He's just socially sort of...
140
00:06:27,825 --> 00:06:29,705
What's...? Shut up.
141
00:06:29,705 --> 00:06:34,295
Claire! Please don't, please don't.
I can't cope. OK? OK.
142
00:06:34,295 --> 00:06:37,185
What's his name?
143
00:06:37,185 --> 00:06:39,905
What's his name?
144
00:06:39,905 --> 00:06:41,655
Klare.
145
00:06:43,295 --> 00:06:44,920
What?
146
00:06:45,835 --> 00:06:47,985
His name is Klare.
147
00:06:47,985 --> 00:06:49,735
Don't.
148
00:06:50,705 --> 00:06:53,785
Oh, God, I have to announce. OK,
mingle, but don't talk to anyone.
149
00:06:53,785 --> 00:06:58,910
OK. I'm not in love with him. OK.
150
00:07:03,226 --> 00:07:07,346
Hi, everyone. I am very proud
to announce the nominees
151
00:07:07,346 --> 00:07:11,375
for the Women in Business Awards,
sponsored by us here at Hurbots.
152
00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:19,015
Amongst our exceptional women,
we have Georgina Franks.
153
00:07:19,015 --> 00:07:21,890
Belinda Friers.
154
00:07:22,785 --> 00:07:25,195
And another extraordinary woman...
155
00:07:25,195 --> 00:07:28,320
..Klare Korhonen.
156
00:07:29,705 --> 00:07:32,665
Sorry, I think there's
been a mistake, here.
157
00:07:32,665 --> 00:07:35,790
Elizabeth Sawkin.
158
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,275
Congratulations to you all.
159
00:07:39,275 --> 00:07:42,505
Have a wonderful evening. We'll be
presenting the award very soon.
160
00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:45,226
I'm going to introduce Sylvia,
who's going to introduce Belinda.
161
00:07:45,226 --> 00:07:47,555
When you hear me introducing Sylvia,
get her on stage.
162
00:07:47,555 --> 00:07:49,735
It has to go like cockwork.
Like what?
163
00:07:49,735 --> 00:07:52,505
Cockwork. Claire, your brain
is somewhere else right now.
164
00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,275
Sylvia, go!
165
00:07:54,275 --> 00:07:56,150
Sylvia!
166
00:07:56,175 --> 00:07:58,425
SHE VOMITS
167
00:08:01,635 --> 00:08:03,260
Crap.
168
00:08:03,665 --> 00:08:06,865
A huge thanks to Matthew, Mark, Luke
and John for coming up
169
00:08:06,865 --> 00:08:09,995
with this award. And to LinkedIn
for connecting us all
170
00:08:09,995 --> 00:08:11,945
this evening and beyond.
171
00:08:11,945 --> 00:08:15,455
I am so excited to introduce
Sylvia Hamburg,
172
00:08:15,455 --> 00:08:17,665
this year's winner
of Women Who Work,
173
00:08:17,665 --> 00:08:21,025
who will announce this year's
Best Woman in Business.
174
00:08:21,025 --> 00:08:22,505
Sylvia.
175
00:08:22,505 --> 00:08:25,255
What a legend!
176
00:08:34,106 --> 00:08:36,481
I'll do it!
177
00:08:36,745 --> 00:08:39,145
I can do it.
178
00:08:39,145 --> 00:08:43,465
I'm sorry,
it appears that Sylvia is busy,
179
00:08:43,465 --> 00:08:48,275
which shouldn't come
as a surprise, really.
180
00:08:48,275 --> 00:08:51,275
It's been a big year for business...
181
00:08:51,275 --> 00:08:53,106
..particularly women in business.
182
00:08:53,106 --> 00:08:58,356
Men have been pretty hands—on
the past few decades.
183
00:08:58,356 --> 00:09:01,635
I'd like to thank all
the brilliant men and women
184
00:09:01,635 --> 00:09:03,825
for supporting each other here
at Hurbots.
185
00:09:03,825 --> 00:09:05,745
We're a family, really.
186
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:08,185
And if we've learned anything
during the past 12 months,
187
00:09:08,185 --> 00:09:10,356
it's that family really shouldn't
touch each other up
188
00:09:10,356 --> 00:09:14,356
next to the photocopier.
189
00:09:15,975 --> 00:09:19,305
I am honoured to present
this award to this year's
190
00:09:19,305 --> 00:09:23,356
Best Woman in Business...
191
00:09:23,356 --> 00:09:25,075
..Belinda Friers.
192
00:09:25,075 --> 00:09:27,575
Fuck's sake!
193
00:09:50,025 --> 00:09:52,905
Thank you, thank you.
194
00:09:52,905 --> 00:09:55,405
Well, erm...
195
00:09:56,945 --> 00:09:58,995
Well, I was going to say
this is a bit on the nose,
196
00:09:58,995 --> 00:10:01,185
but she doesn't seem to have one.
197
00:10:01,185 --> 00:10:03,155
What were you thinking?
It'll be fine.
198
00:10:03,155 --> 00:10:07,226
It's not fine.
I awarded her with a pair of tits.
199
00:10:07,226 --> 00:10:09,515
Chase her down. Chase her down?
200
00:10:09,515 --> 00:10:11,075
It's a stolen piece of art.
201
00:10:11,075 --> 00:10:13,025
I will deal with the photographer.
202
00:10:13,025 --> 00:10:15,625
Claire!
Oh, my God! You were brilliant!
203
00:10:15,625 --> 00:10:17,385
Thank you, Klare.
204
00:10:17,385 --> 00:10:18,745
I love the joke.
205
00:10:18,745 --> 00:10:21,465
Oh, well, I didn't think
it was that funny.
206
00:10:21,465 --> 00:10:23,745
Can you go, my love?!
I'm just going to...
207
00:10:23,745 --> 00:10:26,155
Take the stairs. OK.
208
00:10:26,155 --> 00:10:29,030
THUNDER RUMBLES
209
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:47,305
I'm trained in martial arts.
210
00:10:47,305 --> 00:10:49,385
It's just the basics,
but it is enough.
211
00:10:49,385 --> 00:10:53,005
I work at Harbots.
Hurbots.
212
00:10:53,005 --> 00:10:55,495
Yes, I ate a courgette
off your tray.
213
00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:57,625
Yeah, it was delicious.
Thank you.
214
00:10:57,625 --> 00:10:59,935
What do you want?
215
00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:01,560
That.
216
00:11:02,325 --> 00:11:05,005
I need to take your award back.
217
00:11:05,005 --> 00:11:06,135
Why?
218
00:11:06,135 --> 00:11:08,295
It's a stolen piece of art.
It's not really an award.
219
00:11:08,295 --> 00:11:09,775
It's all my fault. I can explain.
220
00:11:09,775 --> 00:11:11,525
Is it a long story?
221
00:11:11,525 --> 00:11:13,525
Sort of.
222
00:11:14,885 --> 00:11:18,086
And she still doesn't
know you have it?
223
00:11:18,086 --> 00:11:21,495
That's glorious! I think
you did exactly the right thing.
224
00:11:21,495 --> 00:11:23,855
I think you're the only person
who thinks that.
225
00:11:23,855 --> 00:11:25,265
God!
226
00:11:25,265 --> 00:11:26,955
Women's awards.
227
00:11:26,955 --> 00:11:28,315
Congratulations.
228
00:11:28,315 --> 00:11:31,625
Oh! It's infantilising bollocks.
229
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:33,705
What? Don't you think
it's good that...?
230
00:11:33,705 --> 00:11:35,135
No, no, it's ghettoising.
231
00:11:35,135 --> 00:11:38,545
It's a subsection of success.
232
00:11:38,545 --> 00:11:41,675
Ah, it's a
fucking children's table of awards.
233
00:11:41,675 --> 00:11:43,675
Why did you go?
234
00:11:43,675 --> 00:11:45,515
Because I'd be an arsehole not to.
235
00:11:45,515 --> 00:11:46,795
Miss Friers.
236
00:11:46,795 --> 00:11:49,625
Thank you, darling.
237
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:50,955
Gosh, she's hot.
238
00:11:50,955 --> 00:11:52,265
Yeah.
239
00:11:52,265 --> 00:11:53,705
Are you a lesbian?
240
00:11:53,705 --> 00:11:55,185
Not strictly.
241
00:11:55,185 --> 00:11:56,795
You? Mm.
242
00:11:56,795 --> 00:11:58,055
Do you like old films?
243
00:11:58,055 --> 00:12:01,905
Some. And what's your favourite
period film?
244
00:12:01,905 --> 00:12:03,780
Carrie.
245
00:12:06,236 --> 00:12:07,736
God!
246
00:12:07,935 --> 00:12:10,655
God, you are a tonic.
247
00:12:10,655 --> 00:12:12,525
What do you do?
Are you a woman in business?
248
00:12:12,525 --> 00:12:13,685
I run a cafe.
249
00:12:13,685 --> 00:12:16,685
Oh! Good for you.
250
00:12:16,685 --> 00:12:18,375
Did you make the canapes?
251
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:22,750
No, actually. I stole them.
252
00:12:23,415 --> 00:12:25,245
How old are you? 58.
253
00:12:25,245 --> 00:12:27,525
And you? 33. Oh.
254
00:12:27,525 --> 00:12:29,495
Don't worry.
It does get better.
255
00:12:29,495 --> 00:12:30,575
Do you promise?
256
00:12:30,575 --> 00:12:32,375
I promise.
257
00:12:32,375 --> 00:12:37,096
Listen, I was in an aeroplane
the other day and I realised...
258
00:12:37,096 --> 00:12:41,705
Well, I... I mean, I've been longing
to say this out loud.
259
00:12:41,705 --> 00:12:46,755
Women are born
with pain built in.
260
00:12:46,755 --> 00:12:48,835
It's our physical destiny.
261
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:53,675
Period pains, sore boobs,
childbirth, you know.
262
00:12:53,675 --> 00:12:57,236
We carry it within ourselves
throughout our lives.
263
00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:58,595
Men don't.
264
00:12:58,595 --> 00:13:00,155
They have to seek it out.
265
00:13:00,155 --> 00:13:02,195
They invent all these gods
and demons and things
266
00:13:02,195 --> 00:13:04,315
just so they can feel
guilty about things,
267
00:13:04,315 --> 00:13:07,116
which is something we also
do very well on our own.
268
00:13:07,116 --> 00:13:10,315
And then they create wars,
so they can feel things
269
00:13:10,315 --> 00:13:13,236
and touch each other, and when there
aren't any wars they can play rugby.
270
00:13:13,236 --> 00:13:17,116
And we have it all
going on in here, inside.
271
00:13:17,116 --> 00:13:20,835
We have pain on a cycle for years
and years and years
272
00:13:20,835 --> 00:13:24,755
and then, just when you feel
you are making peace with it all,
273
00:13:24,755 --> 00:13:26,755
what happens?
274
00:13:26,755 --> 00:13:28,065
The menopause comes.
275
00:13:28,065 --> 00:13:32,595
The fucking menopause comes
and it is...
276
00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:35,220
..the most...
277
00:13:36,035 --> 00:13:38,755
..most wonderful fucking
thing in the world!
278
00:13:38,755 --> 00:13:41,875
And, yes,
your entire pelvic floor crumbles
279
00:13:41,875 --> 00:13:46,785
and you get fucking hot
and no—one cares, but then...
280
00:13:46,785 --> 00:13:48,915
..you're free.
281
00:13:48,915 --> 00:13:55,116
No longer a slave,
no longer a machine, with parts.
282
00:13:55,116 --> 00:13:58,555
You're just a person in business.
283
00:13:58,555 --> 00:13:59,930
Oh.
284
00:14:00,525 --> 00:14:01,986
I was told it was horrendous.
285
00:14:01,986 --> 00:14:04,675
It is horrendous,
but then it's magnificent.
286
00:14:04,675 --> 00:14:09,300
Something to look forward to.
287
00:14:11,525 --> 00:14:13,116
You better get back to that party.
288
00:14:13,116 --> 00:14:15,116
Your party. Mm.
289
00:14:15,116 --> 00:14:18,116
It is not a party
until someone flirts with you.
290
00:14:18,116 --> 00:14:20,955
And that's the only really
shit thing about getting older,
291
00:14:20,955 --> 00:14:23,635
is that people don't flirt
with you any more.
292
00:14:23,635 --> 00:14:25,885
Not really. Not with danger.
293
00:14:25,885 --> 00:14:27,755
I miss walking into a room
and not knowing,
294
00:14:27,755 --> 00:14:31,915
and there's a sort of energy,
a dare.
295
00:14:31,915 --> 00:14:35,915
Do not take that for granted.
296
00:14:35,915 --> 00:14:40,315
There is nothing more exciting
than a room full of people.
297
00:14:40,315 --> 00:14:42,195
Yeah, except most people are...
298
00:14:42,195 --> 00:14:43,820
What?
299
00:14:45,315 --> 00:14:47,190
..shit.
300
00:14:48,315 --> 00:14:50,195
Look at me.
301
00:14:50,195 --> 00:14:52,070
Listen.
302
00:14:52,585 --> 00:14:56,015
People are all we've got.
303
00:14:56,015 --> 00:14:57,695
People are all we've got.
304
00:14:57,695 --> 00:15:02,615
So grab the night by its nipples
and go and flirt with someone.
305
00:15:02,615 --> 00:15:07,115
No, that's not what I meant!
306
00:15:09,945 --> 00:15:11,320
Oh.
307
00:15:11,455 --> 00:15:14,615
I wish you were my type.
308
00:15:14,615 --> 00:15:16,915
Take this tart back
to my party and go
309
00:15:16,915 --> 00:15:19,195
and find someone to
actually do that with.
310
00:15:19,195 --> 00:15:20,835
I want to do it with you. No.
311
00:15:20,835 --> 00:15:23,815
Why not? Honestly?
Yeah.
312
00:15:23,815 --> 00:15:25,815
I can't be arsed, darling.
313
00:15:25,815 --> 00:15:29,505
I'm going to go back to my room
and have one more martini,
314
00:15:29,505 --> 00:15:32,435
and if you need anything, call me.
315
00:15:32,435 --> 00:15:34,560
Anything.
316
00:15:35,305 --> 00:15:37,945
You can have whoever you want at
your age.
317
00:15:37,945 --> 00:15:39,415
Except the Best Woman in Business.
318
00:15:39,415 --> 00:15:43,605
Well, that's just because
she's exhausted.
319
00:15:43,605 --> 00:15:44,915
33 isn't exactly...
320
00:15:44,915 --> 00:15:47,375
And what had Jesus done
by 33?
321
00:15:47,375 --> 00:15:48,846
Died? Exactly!
322
00:15:48,846 --> 00:15:53,221
So get out there and flirt.
323
00:16:01,175 --> 00:16:02,895
Here you are! Oh, hi!
324
00:16:02,895 --> 00:16:04,665
Thought you might be
snogging Finland.
325
00:16:04,665 --> 00:16:07,205
Ha—ha! No, just
sorting a few things!
326
00:16:07,205 --> 00:16:08,385
I got her!
327
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,585
Oh!
328
00:16:09,585 --> 00:16:11,305
And Belinda gave me her card.
329
00:16:11,305 --> 00:16:13,695
Oh, that's great!
330
00:16:13,695 --> 00:16:15,745
What? Nothing.
331
00:16:15,745 --> 00:16:17,055
She's furious.
332
00:16:17,055 --> 00:16:18,305
Really?
333
00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:20,175
Yes! It was a great night.
334
00:16:20,175 --> 00:16:24,175
Everything went smoothly in the end,
and everyone loved the canapes.
335
00:16:24,175 --> 00:16:25,535
Really? I'm a dead woman.
336
00:16:25,535 --> 00:16:27,055
Really? Yes!
337
00:16:27,055 --> 00:16:28,535
Really?
338
00:16:28,535 --> 00:16:30,495
Yes! It was a great night.
339
00:16:30,495 --> 00:16:32,415
She's going to blow.
I just have a feeling...
340
00:16:32,415 --> 00:16:33,895
I would've come up with my own joke
341
00:16:33,895 --> 00:16:35,895
if you hadn't put
that one in my head.
342
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:38,025
I have my own jokes.
343
00:16:38,025 --> 00:16:40,585
I am funny, I am interesting.
344
00:16:40,585 --> 00:16:42,435
I knew I shouldn't have
brought you here.
345
00:16:42,435 --> 00:16:44,775
What do you mean, interesting?
You just think you can do
346
00:16:44,775 --> 00:16:47,976
whatever you like, say whatever
you like, steal whatever you like,
347
00:16:47,976 --> 00:16:49,895
kiss whoever you like.
He kissed me!
348
00:16:49,895 --> 00:16:52,106
Oh, I know.
349
00:16:52,106 --> 00:16:54,485
You know?! Then why have
we been spending the entire...?
350
00:16:54,485 --> 00:16:56,715
Because you're fine!
You'll always be fine.
351
00:16:56,715 --> 00:16:59,126
You'll always be interesting,
with your quirky cafe
352
00:16:59,126 --> 00:17:01,155
and your dead best friend.
353
00:17:01,155 --> 00:17:07,055
You just make me
feel like I've failed.
354
00:17:07,055 --> 00:17:12,465
Claire... If you mention the size
of my office, I will scream.
355
00:17:12,465 --> 00:17:16,465
SHE WHISPERS: It's huge.
356
00:17:17,976 --> 00:17:20,935
I just thought we were hanging out.
357
00:17:20,935 --> 00:17:23,615
Just as friends.
358
00:17:23,615 --> 00:17:25,135
We're not friends.
359
00:17:25,135 --> 00:17:28,010
We are sisters.
360
00:17:28,775 --> 00:17:32,400
Get your own friends.
361
00:17:42,976 --> 00:17:45,726
DOORBELL RINGS
362
00:17:50,385 --> 00:17:51,775
Oh, hi!
363
00:17:51,775 --> 00:17:53,335
Oh. Sorry.
364
00:17:53,335 --> 00:17:54,495
I didn't have your number
365
00:17:54,495 --> 00:17:56,495
and you just said come round
any time with G&Ts.
366
00:17:56,495 --> 00:17:58,615
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
I just...
367
00:17:58,615 --> 00:18:01,025
This is a bit embarrassing,
but recently I've been really
368
00:18:01,025 --> 00:18:03,335
enjoying going to
bed at 9:30. Oh, shit.
369
00:18:03,335 --> 00:18:04,665
No, no, it's fine.
370
00:18:04,665 --> 00:18:06,185
I can see G&Ts! Are you OK?
371
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:08,775
Yeah, yeah, I just...
Just fancied a drink and a priest
372
00:18:08,775 --> 00:18:10,335
and a chat, maybe.
373
00:18:10,335 --> 00:18:11,665
Oh, that's my whole job.
374
00:18:11,665 --> 00:18:13,205
We'll have to be quiet, though,
375
00:18:13,205 --> 00:18:16,485
because Pam's a bit of
a sound tyrant in the evenings.
376
00:18:16,485 --> 00:18:17,765
Pam lives here?
377
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:21,390
Yeah, Pam lives here.
378
00:18:23,215 --> 00:18:25,335
So I read your book. OK. Great.
379
00:18:25,335 --> 00:18:27,295
Well, it's got some great twists.
True.
380
00:18:27,295 --> 00:18:29,825
But I just... I couldn't help...
Come on, just spit it out!
381
00:18:29,825 --> 00:18:32,986
..but notice just one or two
little inconsistences. OK, sure.
382
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:35,465
So, the world was made
in seven days.
383
00:18:35,465 --> 00:18:41,856
And on the first day, light came and
then a few days later the sun came?
384
00:18:41,856 --> 00:18:43,106
Yeah, that's ridiculous.
385
00:18:43,106 --> 00:18:44,745
But you believe that?
386
00:18:44,745 --> 00:18:46,135
It's not a fact, it's poetry.
387
00:18:46,135 --> 00:18:48,185
It's moral code.
388
00:18:48,185 --> 00:18:51,825
It's for interpretation to help
us work out God's plan for us.
389
00:18:51,825 --> 00:18:53,625
What's God's plan for you?
390
00:18:53,625 --> 00:18:58,545
I believe God meant for me
to love people in a different way.
391
00:18:58,545 --> 00:19:02,215
I believe I'm supposed
to love people as a father.
392
00:19:02,215 --> 00:19:04,025
We can arrange that.
393
00:19:04,025 --> 00:19:05,465
A father of many.
394
00:19:05,465 --> 00:19:06,765
I'll go up to three.
395
00:19:06,765 --> 00:19:12,335
It's not going to happen.
Two, then. OK, two.
396
00:19:12,335 --> 00:19:14,665
LOUD THUMP
Oh, shit. Pam. She's not happy.
397
00:19:14,665 --> 00:19:19,915
HE WHISPERS: We should go outside.
398
00:19:20,475 --> 00:19:22,866
Do you think I should become a
Catholic? No, don't do that.
399
00:19:22,866 --> 00:19:25,996
I like that you believe
in a meaningless existence.
400
00:19:25,996 --> 00:19:29,585
And you're good for me.
You make me question my faith.
401
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:32,025
And? I've never felt closer to God.
402
00:19:32,025 --> 00:19:33,475
Fuck you!
403
00:19:33,475 --> 00:19:35,305
RUSTLING
What was that?
404
00:19:35,305 --> 00:19:37,505
It wasn't a fox, was it?
I don't know. Is it a fox?
405
00:19:37,505 --> 00:19:39,195
Shine something. Boo! Baa!
406
00:19:39,195 --> 00:19:40,665
Oh, God. I bet it's a fox.
407
00:19:40,665 --> 00:19:43,715
Oh, God! No, I'm not being funny,
foxes have been after me for years.
408
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:45,475
It's like they have a pact
or something.
409
00:19:45,475 --> 00:19:48,996
I'm not kidding. I was on a
toilet, a toilet of a train,
410
00:19:48,996 --> 00:19:51,505
and when the train stopped,
a fucking fox tried to get
411
00:19:51,505 --> 00:19:54,435
through the window of a train!
Its face was in the window!
412
00:19:54,435 --> 00:19:55,996
And once, when I was at a monastery,
413
00:19:55,996 --> 00:19:58,355
I woke up just feeling a bit
weird, like there might be
414
00:19:58,355 --> 00:20:01,555
a fox about, and a fox
was sitting underneath my window
415
00:20:01,555 --> 00:20:04,135
looking up like this,
pointing at me like,
416
00:20:04,135 --> 00:20:09,585
"You, we're watching you.
We're having you."
417
00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:11,355
Lucky God got there first.
418
00:20:11,355 --> 00:20:13,225
Well, yeah.
You could be a fox boy by now.
419
00:20:13,225 --> 00:20:18,795
And we all know
what happened to them!
420
00:20:18,795 --> 00:20:21,670
You OK? I'm OK.
421
00:20:22,435 --> 00:20:23,945
Do you think I'm mad?
422
00:20:23,945 --> 00:20:26,555
Because of the fox thing
or because of the God thing?
423
00:20:26,555 --> 00:20:29,555
You're obsessed.
424
00:20:29,945 --> 00:20:32,025
Do you ever have doubts?
425
00:20:32,025 --> 00:20:36,025
Yes, of course, every day.
It's part of the deal.
426
00:20:36,025 --> 00:20:38,435
I just don't think I could do it.
427
00:20:38,435 --> 00:20:41,560
Especially the...
428
00:20:42,795 --> 00:20:44,355
What?
429
00:20:44,355 --> 00:20:46,155
..celibacy and...
RUSTLING
430
00:20:46,155 --> 00:20:48,126
Oh, it's a fucking fox!
Chill out about the fox!
431
00:20:48,126 --> 00:20:49,275
Ooh! Sorry.
432
00:20:49,275 --> 00:20:53,235
I just don't know
what they want from me!
433
00:20:53,235 --> 00:20:54,985
Sorry.
434
00:20:55,235 --> 00:20:56,746
Celibacy.
435
00:20:56,746 --> 00:20:58,121
Go.
436
00:20:59,075 --> 00:21:01,075
Ijust...
437
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:04,746
I couldn't give up sex forever.
438
00:21:04,746 --> 00:21:07,355
It's just too...
439
00:21:07,355 --> 00:21:09,730
It's too...
440
00:21:09,996 --> 00:21:17,355
Celibacy is a lot less complicated
than romantic relationships.
441
00:21:17,355 --> 00:21:20,235
What if you meet someone you like?
442
00:21:20,235 --> 00:21:22,876
I talk and drink and laugh
and give them Bibles,
443
00:21:22,876 --> 00:21:25,955
and hope they eventually
leave me alone.
444
00:21:25,955 --> 00:21:31,205
What if you meet someone you love?
445
00:21:31,315 --> 00:21:35,815
We're not going to have sex.
446
00:21:36,996 --> 00:21:42,105
I know that's what you think
you want from me, but it's not.
447
00:21:42,105 --> 00:21:44,715
It won't bring any good.
448
00:21:44,715 --> 00:21:47,275
Well, it might...
It won't.
449
00:21:47,275 --> 00:21:49,845
I've been there many times.
450
00:21:49,845 --> 00:21:52,671
Before I found this.
Many, many times.
451
00:21:52,671 --> 00:21:55,546
How many times?
452
00:21:58,742 --> 00:22:00,367
Many.
453
00:22:11,071 --> 00:22:13,671
I'd really like to
be your friend, though.
454
00:22:13,671 --> 00:22:17,742
I'd like to be your friend, too.
455
00:22:17,742 --> 00:22:20,431
We'll last a week.
456
00:22:20,431 --> 00:22:23,181
What was that?
457
00:22:24,031 --> 00:22:25,656
What?
458
00:22:25,711 --> 00:22:28,431
Where did...? Where did you just go?
459
00:22:28,431 --> 00:22:30,031
What?
460
00:22:30,031 --> 00:22:33,951
You just went somewhere.
461
00:22:33,951 --> 00:22:36,576
There. There.
462
00:22:37,872 --> 00:22:40,921
Where did you just go?
463
00:22:40,921 --> 00:22:42,921
Nowhere.
464
00:22:47,281 --> 00:22:48,656
OK.
465
00:22:55,051 --> 00:22:56,051
THEY SCREAM
33152
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