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1
00:00:01,120 --> 00:00:03,710
Man: We're looking at about
three months in that cast.
2
00:00:03,710 --> 00:00:04,830
I wish that troublemaker
Garcon Fernandez
3
00:00:04,830 --> 00:00:07,330
never set foot
in Springfield Springs.
4
00:00:07,330 --> 00:00:09,170
Although he's
a top-notch surgeon,
5
00:00:09,170 --> 00:00:10,500
especially for someone
with an eye patch.
6
00:00:10,500 --> 00:00:11,620
Mm. Mommy?
7
00:00:11,620 --> 00:00:12,920
Does everyone
have an evil twin?
8
00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:14,880
Oh, Pat.
[ Pats leg ]
9
00:00:14,880 --> 00:00:16,920
If anything, you're the evil
twin and the good Pat is out
10
00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,540
making some other family
very happy.
[ Door opens ]
11
00:00:18,540 --> 00:00:21,380
I dropped those old magazines
off at the hospital for you.
12
00:00:21,380 --> 00:00:23,620
Switched them out
for these newer ones.
13
00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:26,120
"Eight fun projects
for moms and their kids."
14
00:00:26,120 --> 00:00:27,330
Go work
on some of these.
15
00:00:27,330 --> 00:00:28,290
And don't come running
to me for help.
16
00:00:28,290 --> 00:00:29,710
Also got this.
17
00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:30,960
I ran into
a guy from work.
18
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:32,380
He and his wife
just had a baby.
19
00:00:32,380 --> 00:00:33,580
Idiots.
I know, right?
20
00:00:33,580 --> 00:00:35,000
[ Chuckles ]
21
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:36,250
You don't smoke cigars.
22
00:00:36,250 --> 00:00:38,460
I don't read "Family Circle"
either,
23
00:00:38,460 --> 00:00:40,670
but I'll take one home
if it's free.
24
00:00:40,670 --> 00:00:42,500
[ Both chuckle ]
25
00:00:42,500 --> 00:00:44,710
Guess who else I saw out
by the hospital this morning?
26
00:00:44,710 --> 00:00:46,330
Hm?
Joey.
27
00:00:46,330 --> 00:00:47,790
What do you suppose
that chucklehead is up to?
28
00:00:47,790 --> 00:00:49,790
Nothing good
if history is prologue.
29
00:00:49,790 --> 00:00:51,000
Geez Louise,
Frank.
30
00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:53,000
I should tie a bell
around your neck.
31
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,290
Real tight.
32
00:00:55,290 --> 00:00:57,460
So where exactly
was Joey this morning?
33
00:00:57,460 --> 00:00:58,790
I think
it was the corner of
34
00:00:58,790 --> 00:00:59,880
"mind your own
business"
35
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:01,420
and "nobody likes
a snitch."
36
00:01:01,420 --> 00:01:03,210
That sounds like
a dicey neighborhood.
37
00:01:05,670 --> 00:01:07,880
I need to borrow the car
and your Polaroid camera.
38
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,460
[ Sighs ]
39
00:01:10,460 --> 00:01:11,460
Fine.
40
00:01:11,460 --> 00:01:13,420
But no more pictures
of the Millers' dog.
41
00:01:13,420 --> 00:01:14,790
He's not a wolf,
42
00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:16,080
and the city is tired
of calling you about it.
43
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:20,670
That will be one sweet
"I told you so"
44
00:01:20,670 --> 00:01:23,290
when Snowball
eats a baby.
45
00:01:23,290 --> 00:01:25,250
Adult Timmy:
Normally, I wouldn't consider
doing crafts in my bedroom
46
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:27,120
for fear of getting glue
on the sheets...
47
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,500
[ Inhales sharply ]
Oh, crud.
48
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:31,500
...and the resulting thumping
from my mom,
49
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,420
but I had good reason to try
50
00:01:33,420 --> 00:01:35,920
and keep my latest project
top secret.
51
00:01:35,920 --> 00:01:38,380
Hi, I'm Jimmy Dreary,
52
00:01:38,380 --> 00:01:41,920
the only fun and talented member
of the Dreary Family.
53
00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:45,620
[ As Peggy ]
Nobody in this house is allowed
to be fun or talented!
54
00:01:45,620 --> 00:01:47,290
We can't afford it!
55
00:01:47,290 --> 00:01:49,120
As you can see, the TV show
you are watching now
56
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:50,960
was not my first attempt
57
00:01:50,960 --> 00:01:53,000
to exploit my family
for comedy.
[ Laughter ]
58
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,460
[ As Mike ] Hey, don't yell
at the kid.
59
00:01:54,460 --> 00:01:56,710
I want to do it.
I was in the war!
60
00:01:56,710 --> 00:01:58,750
I chose the library
for my venue,
61
00:01:58,750 --> 00:02:01,040
figuring no one at home
would find out about it,
62
00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:02,960
given my mom's
general disdain for books...
[ Door opens ]
63
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,380
...and the people
who read them.
64
00:02:04,380 --> 00:02:07,040
But my family had
a few rogue intellectuals.
65
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:10,830
[ As Billy ]
I'm Billiam, and I'm the dork
in the Dreary Family.
66
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,380
Woman: Come on, honey.
Congratulations
on the show.
67
00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:15,500
Or should I say
"unauthorized hatchet-job"?
68
00:02:15,500 --> 00:02:17,420
Okay, please don't tell
Mom and Dad.
69
00:02:17,420 --> 00:02:18,750
You guys weren't
supposed to see this.
70
00:02:18,750 --> 00:02:20,080
Didn't you consider that
71
00:02:20,080 --> 00:02:22,290
the "weird know-it-all
brother, Billiam,"
72
00:02:22,290 --> 00:02:24,250
who practically
lives at the library,
73
00:02:24,250 --> 00:02:26,290
might be
at the library?
74
00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:28,380
Hanging out in the --
how did you put it --
75
00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:31,290
"'I am a nerd
with no friends' section"?
76
00:02:31,290 --> 00:02:34,120
Read the disclaimer
on the side of my puppet stage.
77
00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,380
"Any similarity
to persons living or dead
78
00:02:36,380 --> 00:02:37,540
is purely coincidental
79
00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:39,460
and a tribute
to excellent puppetry."
80
00:02:39,460 --> 00:02:41,330
Legally,
you can't touch me.
81
00:02:41,330 --> 00:02:45,380
♪♪
82
00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,500
Peggy: Mike, can I see you
a minute?
83
00:02:47,500 --> 00:02:50,170
Unfortunately, my mom
found the glue on my sheet,
84
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:53,710
but hilariously, her mind
went to a very different place.
85
00:02:53,710 --> 00:02:55,750
I pulled this sheet
off of Timmy's bed this morning,
86
00:02:55,750 --> 00:02:57,420
and -- well...
87
00:02:57,420 --> 00:02:58,540
just look at it.
88
00:02:58,540 --> 00:03:00,290
Why?
What am I looking at?
89
00:03:00,290 --> 00:03:03,710
Oh.
You're looking at
disgusting "boy-activity."
90
00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:05,540
What are we
gonna do about this?
91
00:03:05,540 --> 00:03:09,380
I guess put the soap in
and press the buttons?
92
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:10,540
I don't want
to know this about Timmy.
93
00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:12,330
He still has bath toys,
for Pete's sake.
94
00:03:12,330 --> 00:03:14,210
Well, now he has
a different bath toy.
95
00:03:14,210 --> 00:03:15,290
This is unacceptable,
Mike.
96
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:16,500
You tell him
to knock it off.
97
00:03:16,500 --> 00:03:18,540
Well, that's not
something I want to do.
98
00:03:18,540 --> 00:03:20,380
Hey, we have
eight children.
99
00:03:20,380 --> 00:03:22,380
All we do is stuff
we don't want to do.
100
00:03:22,380 --> 00:03:24,670
This was an uncomfortable area
for my dad
101
00:03:24,670 --> 00:03:26,290
because he knew a bit more
about this activity
102
00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:28,290
than he was eager
to admit with my mom.
103
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:30,460
Eddie?
104
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,120
Eddie,
where'd you go?
105
00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:33,540
Eddie: [ Muffled ] Oh, I'm --
I'm in here, Dad.
106
00:03:33,540 --> 00:03:34,710
Just making
a phone call.
107
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:39,120
♪♪
108
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,210
All right.
109
00:03:41,210 --> 00:03:43,250
♪♪
110
00:03:43,250 --> 00:03:44,920
[ Quietly ] I just found
two more spots.
111
00:03:44,920 --> 00:03:46,920
Either you say something
to Timmy or I will.
112
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,170
Fine.
I'll speak to the boy.
113
00:03:49,170 --> 00:03:50,710
I had to pull my church blouse
out of there
114
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:53,790
'cause I didn't want it
mixed up with Timmy's business.
115
00:03:53,790 --> 00:03:55,880
He didn't think my mom
could understand because,
116
00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:57,880
in Dad's mind --
in all our minds --
117
00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,920
she was immune to such
impulses.
[ Washing machine rattling ]
118
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:03,170
If my mother ever did indulge,
119
00:04:03,170 --> 00:04:06,250
she did so with an absolute
lack of awareness or guilt.
120
00:04:06,250 --> 00:04:08,040
[ Sighs ]
121
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,880
[ Washing machine clanking ]
122
00:04:12,750 --> 00:04:14,250
[ Glass rattling ]
123
00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:16,920
[ Box thuds ]
124
00:04:19,750 --> 00:04:22,380
Having seen him
steal Dad's cigar,
125
00:04:22,380 --> 00:04:23,830
Frank followed Joey,
126
00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:26,580
eager to catch him
in some cigar-related mischief.
127
00:04:26,580 --> 00:04:28,040
The old people
only made Joey's behavior
128
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,830
that much more intriguing.
129
00:04:29,830 --> 00:04:31,250
Another piece
of the puzzle.
130
00:04:32,920 --> 00:04:35,420
And nursing homes
have lots of puzzles.
131
00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:38,380
[ Indistinct conversations,
coughing ]
132
00:04:38,380 --> 00:04:40,330
One more bite,
Mrs. Evans.
133
00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:43,170
Let's make that last tooth
earn its keep.
134
00:04:43,170 --> 00:04:44,170
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
135
00:04:44,170 --> 00:04:45,580
[ Camera whirs ]
There's my girl.
136
00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:47,460
Flash me
that pearly white.
137
00:04:47,460 --> 00:04:50,330
Here you go.
[ Camera whirs ]
138
00:04:50,330 --> 00:04:52,250
Be sure to switch off the oxygen
before you light that up.
Mm-hmm.
139
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:53,670
Darlene: Joey.
140
00:04:53,670 --> 00:04:55,290
It's time
for Mr. Franklin's bath.
141
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:57,080
Well, we can
skip the bubbles,
142
00:04:57,080 --> 00:04:59,620
because Mr. Franklin
makes his own.
143
00:04:59,620 --> 00:05:01,670
♪♪
144
00:05:01,670 --> 00:05:04,500
Joey is being kind
to old people?
145
00:05:04,500 --> 00:05:06,290
Old people
can be a lot of fun,
146
00:05:06,290 --> 00:05:08,000
and they always
seem to remember
147
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,750
"when this was
all orange groves."
148
00:05:10,750 --> 00:05:12,120
I find it
hard to believe
149
00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,380
that Joey is suddenly
a decent person.
150
00:05:14,380 --> 00:05:15,790
You're being judgmental.
151
00:05:15,790 --> 00:05:17,830
You can't know
what's in somebody's heart.
152
00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:20,120
I once saw two men
dressed as Easter Bunnies
153
00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:22,420
pummel each other
outside of a nursery school.
154
00:05:22,420 --> 00:05:25,290
On the one hand,
they give eggs to children.
155
00:05:25,290 --> 00:05:26,540
On the other hand,
156
00:05:26,540 --> 00:05:28,460
tremendous violence.
See?
157
00:05:29,500 --> 00:05:30,790
No.
158
00:05:30,790 --> 00:05:32,920
People and bunnies
are complicated.
159
00:05:32,920 --> 00:05:34,120
And when you
make them mad,
160
00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,880
they can both
get racist.
161
00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:38,710
♪♪
162
00:05:38,710 --> 00:05:40,750
[ Cartoon plays
on television ]
163
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:43,210
[ Sighs ]
164
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:44,210
How about you and me
going out back?
165
00:05:46,330 --> 00:05:47,750
Play a little catch.
166
00:05:47,750 --> 00:05:49,920
This was a startling request
from my father,
167
00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,920
who had never before initiated
any sports activity with me.
168
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,170
Was he dying?
169
00:05:54,170 --> 00:05:55,210
Or worse --
170
00:05:55,210 --> 00:05:57,290
was I dying?
171
00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:59,170
♪♪
172
00:05:59,170 --> 00:06:01,710
[ Birds chirping ]
173
00:06:01,710 --> 00:06:04,710
Well, look who got
her hair done, you foxy mama.
174
00:06:04,710 --> 00:06:06,920
You'll be short-circuiting
pacemakers tonight.
175
00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,210
You smooth-talker.
176
00:06:09,210 --> 00:06:11,330
Oh, Mr. Hollis
knows what I mean.
177
00:06:11,330 --> 00:06:13,330
I bet things get pretty
freaky-deaky around here
178
00:06:13,330 --> 00:06:14,580
when the lights
go out at 7:00.
179
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:16,830
Ah, Frank.
180
00:06:16,830 --> 00:06:17,710
Why are you here?
181
00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:19,080
I followed you.
182
00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:20,420
Because I was --
Nosy.
183
00:06:20,420 --> 00:06:22,170
A weasel-faced loser.
Have no life of your own.
184
00:06:22,170 --> 00:06:24,120
I'll admit,
when I discovered you
185
00:06:24,120 --> 00:06:26,460
volunteering
at a nursing home,
186
00:06:26,460 --> 00:06:28,580
I figured you must be
up to no good,
187
00:06:28,580 --> 00:06:30,920
like maybe
stealing catheters
188
00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:32,290
to sell
on the black market.
189
00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:34,330
I knew a guy who bought
a boat selling catheters.
190
00:06:34,330 --> 00:06:37,290
People who need catheters
really need catheters.
191
00:06:37,290 --> 00:06:38,210
They don't haggle.
192
00:06:38,210 --> 00:06:40,040
I then realized,
shockingly,
193
00:06:40,040 --> 00:06:41,920
that you were just
being a very nice person.
194
00:06:41,920 --> 00:06:45,040
You try acting
like this "cool cat,"
195
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:47,750
but doing good deeds for others
with no thought of reward --
196
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:50,670
[chuckles]
that is the coolest thing
any cat can do.
197
00:06:50,670 --> 00:06:53,790
It's no use trying to tell Joey
he's a decent person.
198
00:06:53,790 --> 00:06:55,080
He'll just say
something mean
199
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,040
to try to cover up
what a softy he is.
200
00:06:58,420 --> 00:07:00,830
Angela, this is
my stupid brother, Frank.
201
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:03,420
I'm going to need a hand giving
Mr. Anders a bath again.
202
00:07:03,420 --> 00:07:05,540
[ Scoffs ]
Yesterday, we had
to wrestle him into the tub.
203
00:07:05,540 --> 00:07:07,620
Old coot forgot to take
his seizure medication.
204
00:07:07,620 --> 00:07:09,420
[ Laughs ]
Our clothes
got soaking wet.
205
00:07:09,420 --> 00:07:11,000
They certainly did.
206
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,290
Angela and I had to lie out
in the sun together to dry off.
207
00:07:13,290 --> 00:07:14,540
I fell asleep
for a while.
208
00:07:14,540 --> 00:07:16,920
I know.
I watched you.
209
00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,500
Just to keep
the bees off.
210
00:07:18,500 --> 00:07:19,580
A gentleman.
211
00:07:19,580 --> 00:07:24,790
♪♪
212
00:07:24,790 --> 00:07:25,960
[ Coughing ]
213
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:27,960
You're doing
a great job there, Angela.
214
00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,790
Mrs. Persky, if you're
hanging on, don't.
215
00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:32,790
That is a hairdo
for meeting Jesus.
216
00:07:32,790 --> 00:07:34,620
Don't you listen
to him, Mrs. Persky.
217
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,790
That's how
he flirts.
[ Chuckles ]
218
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:39,500
I knew it.
219
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,580
You're not here to be
a decent human being.
220
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,710
You just want to get
your jollies off with Angela,
221
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:45,500
who is a million times
too good for you.
222
00:07:45,500 --> 00:07:47,080
[ Chuckles ]
Of course she is.
223
00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:50,080
Bad girls are fun,
but turning a good girl bad --
224
00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:51,170
that's when they write songs
about you.
225
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,210
I wrote a song
about you already.
226
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:55,330
It's called
"Joey is Despicable."
227
00:07:55,330 --> 00:07:56,830
I prefer the B-side
to that one --
228
00:07:56,830 --> 00:07:58,540
"Joey Makes Out
With Angela."
229
00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:00,120
Yesterday, during
Mr. Anders' seizure,
230
00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:01,670
I almost made my move.
231
00:08:01,670 --> 00:08:03,040
But then the paramedics
showed up
232
00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:04,750
and killed the vibe.
233
00:08:04,750 --> 00:08:06,170
[ Birds chirping ]
234
00:08:09,790 --> 00:08:11,210
[ Sighs ]
235
00:08:11,210 --> 00:08:12,920
You're a regular
Don Drysdale.
236
00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:14,080
Yeah, he was great
when he guest-starred
237
00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,500
on "The Brady Bunch."
238
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:17,210
He's got a natural,
nuanced acting style.
239
00:08:17,210 --> 00:08:18,880
That's sort of
my stock-in-trade.
240
00:08:18,880 --> 00:08:20,620
I know him
more from baseball.
[ Chuckles ]
241
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,250
So, listen, your mom was
doing your laundry today --
242
00:08:23,250 --> 00:08:24,960
She finally
washed my cape.
243
00:08:24,960 --> 00:08:26,580
[ Ball thuds ]
I'm down
to my rehearsal cape,
244
00:08:26,580 --> 00:08:28,290
and people are starting
to comment.
245
00:08:28,290 --> 00:08:30,000
That's not what
they're commenting on.
246
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,460
[ Sighs ]
247
00:08:33,460 --> 00:08:35,210
Okay.
248
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:37,420
Here's the thing.
249
00:08:37,420 --> 00:08:39,500
Your mom told me
to talk to you about...
250
00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:43,250
...something I really
don't want to tell you.
251
00:08:43,250 --> 00:08:45,000
I knew it!
She shrunk my cape, didn't --
252
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:48,830
No, it's not about
the cape, okay?
253
00:08:48,830 --> 00:08:50,380
But look,
she's not gonna let up
254
00:08:50,380 --> 00:08:52,540
until she thinks I talked
to you about this thing,
255
00:08:52,540 --> 00:08:54,380
so we're gonna
take this ball
256
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:55,500
and toss it
back and forth
257
00:08:55,500 --> 00:08:57,580
and make it look like
a good conversation.
258
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,830
And then we'll go inside,
and you'll say,
259
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,120
"Great talk, Dad,"
right in front of her.
260
00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,460
You got it?
Yeah.
261
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,210
So my motivation
is we had a great talk.
262
00:09:06,330 --> 00:09:08,290
As long
as you say the words.
263
00:09:10,920 --> 00:09:13,040
That was a fantastic
conversation, Father.
[ Door closes ]
264
00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:18,000
[ Whispering ]
I apologize. I kind of
put my own spin on it.
265
00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,380
Mr. Avery, you left your teeth
on your breakfast tray.
266
00:09:25,380 --> 00:09:26,420
You'll need them for lunch.
267
00:09:26,420 --> 00:09:28,380
We're having ribs
and corn on the cob.
268
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:30,580
I don't know
who's planning these menus.
269
00:09:30,580 --> 00:09:32,620
[ Chuckles ]
You'll have to help him
get those chompers in.
270
00:09:32,620 --> 00:09:34,580
And you might want
to pick out the spinach.
271
00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:37,120
Frank, Mrs. Porter needs
her toenails cut.
272
00:09:37,120 --> 00:09:39,880
[ Inhales sharply ]
Ooh, Mrs. Porter's talons.
273
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,500
I noticed
they were getting long
274
00:09:41,500 --> 00:09:42,750
when they cut through
her shower slippers.
275
00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,580
She's asleep,
so now's a good time.
276
00:09:45,580 --> 00:09:46,880
Be careful
not to startle her.
277
00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,170
Our last volunteer
needed stitches.
278
00:09:49,170 --> 00:09:51,710
I'll miss
Mrs. Porter's claws.
279
00:09:51,710 --> 00:09:53,710
You can always hear her
when the mailman comes,
280
00:09:53,710 --> 00:09:56,460
tap-tapping across
the tile floor.
281
00:09:57,710 --> 00:10:06,380
♪♪
282
00:10:06,380 --> 00:10:07,710
My dad was having
second thoughts
283
00:10:07,710 --> 00:10:09,080
about his "talk" with me.
284
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:10,830
Sure, he got my mom
off his back,
285
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:12,620
but he hadn't actually told me
286
00:10:12,620 --> 00:10:14,670
to stop doing the thing
I wasn't even doing.
287
00:10:14,670 --> 00:10:16,210
Hey, Timmy,
288
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:17,380
[muffled] why is
this door closed?
289
00:10:17,380 --> 00:10:19,960
I just wanted
a little alone time.
290
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,380
It was then my dad
decided to quit fooling around
291
00:10:22,380 --> 00:10:25,710
and handle things the way he
should have in the first place.
292
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:27,920
You're asking me to tell
Timmy to stop doing it?
293
00:10:29,250 --> 00:10:31,290
We all know
that's not gonna happen.
294
00:10:31,290 --> 00:10:32,580
But he should at least
have the good sense
295
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:34,380
to be ashamed
about it.
296
00:10:34,380 --> 00:10:37,000
I'm not interested
in making him feel shame.
297
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,380
Why not?
Shame is good.
298
00:10:39,380 --> 00:10:41,000
It's the only thing
stopping this activity
299
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,540
from taking over
his life.
300
00:10:42,540 --> 00:10:44,580
It's hard enough getting
Timmy to do his homework.
301
00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:46,330
I don't want
to give him a complex.
302
00:10:46,330 --> 00:10:48,250
Shame does a lot of damage
to society.
303
00:10:48,250 --> 00:10:50,170
It's the reason
we have society.
304
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:52,000
If Adam and Eve
hadn't felt ashamed,
305
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,540
nobody would've
invented pants.
306
00:10:53,540 --> 00:10:55,620
Because we had pants,
we needed closets.
307
00:10:55,620 --> 00:10:58,170
Closets led to houses.
Houses led to towns.
308
00:10:58,170 --> 00:11:00,540
Boom, we're on the moon
before the Russians.
309
00:11:00,540 --> 00:11:02,460
Shame also leads
to hang-ups.
310
00:11:02,460 --> 00:11:04,710
Our culture's too repressed
about sex.
311
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:06,250
For my money,
312
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:07,620
we're not
repressed enough.
313
00:11:07,620 --> 00:11:09,500
"Sock it to me, baby.
I'm on the pill."
314
00:11:09,500 --> 00:11:11,460
Everybody
"lettin' it all hang out."
315
00:11:11,460 --> 00:11:13,380
I say
tuck it back in.
316
00:11:13,380 --> 00:11:14,750
Especially in front
of your mother.
317
00:11:14,750 --> 00:11:16,290
She doesn't need to know
about that stuff.
318
00:11:16,290 --> 00:11:18,380
He does need to be
more considerate of Mom.
319
00:11:18,380 --> 00:11:19,670
Exactly, she's the one
who has to deal
320
00:11:19,670 --> 00:11:20,670
with the sheets
around here.
321
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,750
And the towels.
322
00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,290
And the vacuum cleaner
attachments.
323
00:11:25,290 --> 00:11:26,170
[ Chuckles ]
324
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,580
Frank: You're one of
God's creatures.
325
00:11:30,580 --> 00:11:32,120
[ Nail clippers snap ]
You're one
of God's creatures.
326
00:11:33,330 --> 00:11:34,540
I mean,
one of his weirder ones,
327
00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:36,500
like one you'd find
in Australia.
328
00:11:36,500 --> 00:11:38,170
Angela: I heard you got stuck
with this grody job.
329
00:11:38,170 --> 00:11:39,920
I don't mind.
Tell you what.
330
00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:41,380
I'll start
on the other hoof.
331
00:11:41,380 --> 00:11:43,040
Oh, poor Mrs. Porter.
332
00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:44,380
Every day,
she gets shorter
333
00:11:44,380 --> 00:11:46,620
and these things
just get longer.
334
00:11:46,620 --> 00:11:47,710
[ Snap ]
335
00:11:47,710 --> 00:11:49,540
You are a very good
person, Angela.
336
00:11:49,540 --> 00:11:50,790
Aww.
[ Snap ]
337
00:11:50,790 --> 00:11:51,960
You too, Frank.
[ Snap ]
338
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,540
Yes, that is
my curse.
339
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,830
Which is why I must
tell you something...
340
00:11:55,830 --> 00:11:57,460
[ Snap ]
...that you won't want
to hear about Joey.
341
00:11:57,460 --> 00:11:58,790
What,
342
00:11:58,790 --> 00:12:00,120
that he's trying
to jump my bones?
343
00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:01,460
[ Scoffs ] Believe me,
344
00:12:01,460 --> 00:12:04,080
I've known slick operators
like Joey my whole life.
345
00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:05,750
[ Snap ]
I know
what all boys want.
346
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:06,830
I don't want it.
347
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:09,170
I mean, until I'm in
a committed relationship
348
00:12:09,170 --> 00:12:10,790
sanctioned by God
and my mother.
[ Snap ]
349
00:12:10,790 --> 00:12:12,670
Maybe we shouldn't
be talking like this.
350
00:12:12,670 --> 00:12:13,750
[ Snap ]
351
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:15,790
I've overstepped,
and I apologize.
352
00:12:15,790 --> 00:12:18,250
No, I'm just worried about
getting a toenail in my mouth.
[ Snap ]
353
00:12:18,250 --> 00:12:21,250
[ Chuckles ]
Trust me, nothing is going
to happen between me and Joey.
354
00:12:21,250 --> 00:12:23,120
[ Chuckles ]
He'll be crushed.
355
00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,040
May I tell him?
356
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:26,880
I'd rather you didn't.
357
00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:29,080
It's what's keeping him
motivated.
358
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:30,380
Joey's good with
the oldsters here.
359
00:12:30,380 --> 00:12:32,580
They love him --
even the ones who don't think
360
00:12:32,580 --> 00:12:34,380
he's a neighbor boy
from their childhood.
[ Snap ]
361
00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:37,170
So he is doing
a good deed for no reward.
362
00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:38,790
He just
doesn't know it.
363
00:12:38,790 --> 00:12:41,460
Unlike you, who's here
for the right reasons...
[ Chuckles ]
364
00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,120
...and even wanted to warn me
about your brother.
[ Snap ]
365
00:12:44,120 --> 00:12:46,460
You are
a sweetheart, Frank,
366
00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:47,880
and much more
the kind of boy
367
00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:49,540
I'm interested
in getting involved with.
368
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:54,000
♪♪
369
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,580
Uh...
370
00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:59,880
Uh, I should go
get a broom to sweep these up.
371
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,830
They could pop the tire
on a wheelchair.
372
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,420
That's the lavatory!
[ Groans ]
373
00:13:04,420 --> 00:13:06,580
♪♪
374
00:13:06,580 --> 00:13:09,040
Hey, little man!
You got a sec?
375
00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,170
What's up?
376
00:13:10,170 --> 00:13:12,580
[ Sighs,
clicks tongue ]
377
00:13:12,580 --> 00:13:14,210
Here.
378
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:17,170
You might want to start
keeping a box by your bed.
379
00:13:17,170 --> 00:13:18,460
In case I have
to blow my nose?
380
00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:19,790
Or any other use
381
00:13:19,790 --> 00:13:22,120
you have no reason
to be embarrassed about.
382
00:13:23,420 --> 00:13:24,750
You're right.
[ Chuckles ]
383
00:13:24,750 --> 00:13:26,620
I can make tissue ghosts
out of these.
384
00:13:26,620 --> 00:13:30,290
Or...whatever else
you feel the urge to do.
Oooh!
385
00:13:30,290 --> 00:13:32,670
Oooh!
Uh, what is important
386
00:13:32,670 --> 00:13:34,210
is that you feel good
about yourself.
Whoo-oo!
387
00:13:34,210 --> 00:13:35,620
I feel great
about myself.
388
00:13:35,620 --> 00:13:37,460
I made this spooky guy
in, like, two seconds,
389
00:13:37,460 --> 00:13:38,790
and it looks
totally real.
390
00:13:38,790 --> 00:13:39,920
Yeah.
Oooh!
391
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,460
Timmy, just listen.
392
00:13:41,460 --> 00:13:42,920
Whoo--oo-oo!
Timmy -- Okay, yeah --
Okay, Timmy, just --
393
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:44,500
Boo!
Cut it out.
394
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:49,790
Look, I know about
your new secret activity.
395
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,960
You do?
Yeah.
396
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,460
Did that rat William
tell you?
397
00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:54,540
No.
398
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,040
You've been
a little messy with it,
399
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,000
and it's not fair to Mom,
who has to clean up after you.
400
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,830
Mom knows?
I don't think so...
401
00:13:59,830 --> 00:14:00,620
No, no, no.
...yet.
402
00:14:00,620 --> 00:14:01,830
Mom can't know.
403
00:14:01,830 --> 00:14:04,170
Well, there's no reason
she has to.
404
00:14:04,170 --> 00:14:06,420
But you know about it,
and you're not mad at me?
405
00:14:06,420 --> 00:14:08,540
God, no!
It's beautiful and natural.
406
00:14:08,540 --> 00:14:10,210
I did the same thing
when I was your age.
407
00:14:10,210 --> 00:14:12,460
I doubt with the same level
of pageantry.
408
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:15,170
That's the spirit!
Celebrate yourself, brother.
409
00:14:15,170 --> 00:14:16,620
Just, you know,
410
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,500
do your best
to keep it private.
411
00:14:18,500 --> 00:14:20,080
But the whole point
is having an audience.
412
00:14:21,330 --> 00:14:22,380
An audience?
413
00:14:22,380 --> 00:14:24,040
I really
feed off their energy.
414
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:26,580
I got a good reaction
when I did it at the library.
415
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:28,460
But they insisted
I do it quietly
416
00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:29,960
and only in
the children's section.
417
00:14:29,960 --> 00:14:31,830
Stop.
418
00:14:31,830 --> 00:14:33,380
What are you
talking about?
419
00:14:33,380 --> 00:14:34,880
My puppet show.
420
00:14:34,880 --> 00:14:37,290
And you're right,
it is natural and beautiful.
421
00:14:37,290 --> 00:14:38,670
I'm gonna
quote you in my flyer.
422
00:14:40,500 --> 00:14:41,880
[ Chuckles ]
423
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:43,120
Eddie: What were
the toenails like?
424
00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,420
Were they like...?
425
00:14:44,420 --> 00:14:46,210
Pointier,
more like Doritos.
426
00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:48,170
Gross.
427
00:14:48,170 --> 00:14:50,920
And then this girl
just...kissed me,
428
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,210
bold as you please.
429
00:14:52,210 --> 00:14:53,790
And I don't even
know her middle name.
430
00:14:53,790 --> 00:14:55,170
Unreal, Frank!
431
00:14:55,170 --> 00:14:56,580
Your first kiss.
432
00:14:56,580 --> 00:14:58,120
It's not
my first kiss.
433
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,620
After her Mediterranean
cruise,
434
00:14:59,620 --> 00:15:01,290
Mrs. Strausser and I
started doing this
435
00:15:01,290 --> 00:15:03,750
sort of European
greeting thing.
436
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:05,580
Elderly cheek kisses with
your neighbor don't count.
437
00:15:05,580 --> 00:15:07,710
I guess it was
my first kiss then.
438
00:15:07,710 --> 00:15:10,790
I'll have to tell my future wife
these lips have a past.
439
00:15:10,790 --> 00:15:12,120
Maybe you'll end up
with Angela.
440
00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,880
Right, a girl
who pounces on me
441
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,080
10 minutes
after we meet?
442
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,880
Nice try,
Mary Magdalene.
443
00:15:16,880 --> 00:15:18,330
Go peddle your goodies
elsewhere.
444
00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:20,120
You said
you liked her.
445
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,380
I do.
446
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:24,170
She's fun, and --
and she's so confident.
447
00:15:24,170 --> 00:15:25,460
But how do you
respect a girl
448
00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:28,120
who just goes around
kissing people willy-nilly?
449
00:15:28,120 --> 00:15:30,790
Look...
450
00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:32,420
every person
is lots of things --
451
00:15:32,420 --> 00:15:34,330
some good things,
some not-so-good,
452
00:15:34,330 --> 00:15:36,380
and sometimes
all mixed up.
453
00:15:36,380 --> 00:15:37,670
You don't want to be
too quick to judge,
454
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,330
especially yourself.
455
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:41,250
Another piece
of advice?
Sure.
456
00:15:41,250 --> 00:15:42,880
Start seeing less
of Ol' Lady Strausser.
457
00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:44,500
Let her down easy,
458
00:15:44,500 --> 00:15:46,000
but that's more about her hip
than anything else.
459
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,380
♪♪
460
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,210
Now that I knew some of
my family were catching on,
461
00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:55,460
I took Lawrence's warning about
not leaving a mess for Mom.
462
00:15:55,460 --> 00:16:02,580
♪♪
463
00:16:02,580 --> 00:16:04,250
Hey, hon!
464
00:16:04,250 --> 00:16:06,080
The dead raccoon
is still in the street
465
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:08,210
in front of
the apartment building.
466
00:16:08,210 --> 00:16:09,540
That's the problem
with renters --
467
00:16:09,540 --> 00:16:11,620
no pride
of ownership.
468
00:16:11,620 --> 00:16:13,830
I found this Sears Catalog
in Timmy's room,
469
00:16:13,830 --> 00:16:15,540
and look
what he did to it.
470
00:16:15,540 --> 00:16:17,210
The pages are
all stuck together.
471
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:18,420
Oh, boy.
472
00:16:18,420 --> 00:16:21,080
And for some odd reason,
it's "women's coats."
473
00:16:21,080 --> 00:16:22,620
Well, at that age,
it doesn't take a lot.
474
00:16:22,620 --> 00:16:23,920
What are we supposed
to do, Mike?
475
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:25,620
Get rid of everything
with a woman's picture?
476
00:16:25,620 --> 00:16:26,920
"Hide the Mrs. Butterworth's
bottle.
477
00:16:26,920 --> 00:16:28,080
Timmy's on the make."
478
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:29,290
Well, if they produced
a better syrup,
479
00:16:29,290 --> 00:16:30,540
they wouldn't need
to sex it up.
480
00:16:30,540 --> 00:16:32,040
The brass
of that kid.
481
00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,290
And after you gave him
that talking-to,
482
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:34,790
he's still in there,
guns a-blazin'.
483
00:16:34,790 --> 00:16:36,250
[ Sighs ]
The thing is...
484
00:16:36,250 --> 00:16:39,210
I didn't really
talk to him, Peg.
485
00:16:39,210 --> 00:16:41,500
You were out there
throwing a ball for twenty
minutes with that klutz.
486
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,670
You better have talked
to him, 'cause that
was painful to watch.
487
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:44,960
I didn't
bring it up with him
488
00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,710
because I don't
really agree with you.
489
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:49,460
You're saying we have
different opinions on this?
490
00:16:49,460 --> 00:16:51,500
I am.
Oh, I guess one of us
491
00:16:51,500 --> 00:16:54,210
wants our kids to grow up
to be solid, tax-paying citizens
492
00:16:54,210 --> 00:16:55,170
when the other one
wants them ending up
493
00:16:55,170 --> 00:16:56,790
in a sex-maniac ward
at the nuthouse.
494
00:16:56,790 --> 00:16:58,250
Look, if we overreact,
495
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,960
we might give him
"a complex," okay?
[ Sighs ]
496
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,170
[ Laughs ]
Look, what Timmy is doing
is normal.
497
00:17:04,170 --> 00:17:05,420
Every boy does it.
498
00:17:05,420 --> 00:17:07,710
It's part
of being a man.
499
00:17:07,710 --> 00:17:08,710
Do you do it?
500
00:17:08,710 --> 00:17:09,920
[ Chuckles ]
501
00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,790
No.
Of course not.
502
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:14,170
But I'm the exception.
503
00:17:14,170 --> 00:17:16,040
And this may
come as a shock,
504
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,210
but I'm pretty sure
our older boys
505
00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:20,210
are blazin'
their guns, as well.
506
00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:22,330
[ Groans ]
They're doing it,
it's part of life,
507
00:17:22,330 --> 00:17:23,920
and, honestly,
it's none of our business.
508
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:25,330
None of our business?
509
00:17:25,330 --> 00:17:27,040
Are we even raising
these kids anymore?
510
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,380
Yeah, but when they
cross that line
511
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,250
into stuff that makes us
sick to our stomach,
512
00:17:30,250 --> 00:17:32,120
it's time to give them
some privacy.
513
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:35,080
Or I could just teach
our child some self-control.
514
00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:36,580
Privacy.
515
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:38,380
Like we're one of those
hoity-toity families
516
00:17:38,380 --> 00:17:40,080
with a lock
on the bathroom door.
517
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:41,580
[ As Mike ] Check out
this microwave
518
00:17:41,580 --> 00:17:43,380
I brought home, kids.
519
00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:47,170
I like it more
than I like any of you.
520
00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:48,670
Mike: [ Muffled ]
Son, your mom and I
521
00:17:48,670 --> 00:17:51,000
and our open eyes
are coming in.
522
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,040
Honestly, there's no way
he's at it again --
523
00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,960
[ Sighs ]
524
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:56,830
One cup detergent, hot water,
regular cycle.
525
00:17:56,830 --> 00:17:57,710
It's your turn.
[ Sighs ]
526
00:18:00,540 --> 00:18:03,170
Hey, can you guys
come back later?
527
00:18:03,170 --> 00:18:05,330
I was thinking
of taking a nap.
528
00:18:05,330 --> 00:18:07,580
Oh, God.
Well, it does
make you sleepy, Peg.
529
00:18:07,580 --> 00:18:09,250
What?
What are we all
talking about?
530
00:18:09,250 --> 00:18:10,710
No, you don't.
Get out, and stay out!
531
00:18:10,710 --> 00:18:13,040
Okay, geez!
I know what
you've been up to.
532
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:14,880
Mom, I really
don't think you do.
533
00:18:14,880 --> 00:18:17,040
Timmy, go ahead, show them
what's under those covers.
534
00:18:17,040 --> 00:18:18,250
-Whoa, whoa, whoa!
-No, no!
535
00:18:18,250 --> 00:18:19,290
It's not what you guys think.
Go ahead.
536
00:18:19,290 --> 00:18:20,210
There's no reason
to hide it.
537
00:18:20,210 --> 00:18:21,790
Oh, my sweet
and gentle Jesus.
538
00:18:24,500 --> 00:18:26,540
Just my puppets.
539
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:29,120
And sorry, I got some more glue
on the sheets.
540
00:18:29,120 --> 00:18:30,670
You've been in here
playing with puppets?
541
00:18:33,330 --> 00:18:34,540
[ Doorbell rings ]
Honestly,
542
00:18:34,540 --> 00:18:36,380
and after
all the fuss you made...
543
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,250
Hi, can I
talk to Frank, please?
544
00:18:41,250 --> 00:18:42,380
[ Dog barking ]
You can.
545
00:18:42,380 --> 00:18:43,670
But it won't be fun
or interesting.
546
00:18:43,670 --> 00:18:44,880
Hey, Frank!
547
00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:46,080
There's a pretty girl here
to see you
548
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:47,460
for no discernible
reason.
549
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:52,670
♪♪
550
00:18:52,670 --> 00:18:55,040
Then you looked at me horrified
and just ran out.
551
00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:56,880
I'm ready to call that
a mistake.
552
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,170
It felt insulting
after Mrs. Porter's toenails
553
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:00,580
that me kissing you
was the thing
554
00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:02,670
that sent you
screaming out of that room.
555
00:19:02,670 --> 00:19:04,540
If you'd be interested
in trying that kiss again,
556
00:19:04,540 --> 00:19:06,040
I promise
this time not to cry.
557
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,290
You cried?
What?
558
00:19:08,790 --> 00:19:10,170
No.
[ Chuckles ]
559
00:19:11,420 --> 00:19:13,380
Isn't Frank
the sly one?
560
00:19:13,380 --> 00:19:15,380
I never pictured him
as a lady-killer,
561
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:17,170
except maybe the kind
you see on the news.
562
00:19:17,170 --> 00:19:19,250
Back away
from the window, Peg.
563
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:22,290
If you think watching Timmy
try to play catch was painful...
564
00:19:22,290 --> 00:19:25,420
We have seen a lot
of horrible things today.
565
00:19:25,420 --> 00:19:26,580
I don't know,
maybe you're right
566
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,330
about giving the kids
more privacy.
567
00:19:28,330 --> 00:19:30,540
Well, it's not so much
for them as for us.
568
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:32,290
Well, you should've said that
in the first place.
569
00:19:32,290 --> 00:19:33,290
I'd have been onboard
right away.
570
00:19:33,290 --> 00:19:34,750
[ Chuckling ] God.
571
00:19:34,750 --> 00:19:37,380
I feel really bad about
the way that I reacted today.
572
00:19:37,380 --> 00:19:39,330
I can be pretty judgmental
about girls,
573
00:19:39,330 --> 00:19:40,670
thanks to my mother.
574
00:19:40,670 --> 00:19:43,420
She set this impossible
standard of excellence.
575
00:19:43,420 --> 00:19:45,670
The mean lady
at the door?
Isn't she great?
576
00:19:45,670 --> 00:19:48,460
What you did bugged me so much,
I couldn't just let it go.
577
00:19:48,460 --> 00:19:50,500
I don't like
to let that stuff build up.
578
00:19:50,500 --> 00:19:51,790
It might make me
do something crazy.
579
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,380
Crazy -- like kissing me again
right now,
580
00:19:53,380 --> 00:19:54,880
when I'm totally
braced for it?
581
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:55,750
More like vandalism...
582
00:19:55,750 --> 00:19:58,040
or shoplifting...
583
00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,420
or burning
my boyfriend's car.
584
00:19:59,420 --> 00:20:01,790
You have a boyfriend?
Ex-boyfriend.
585
00:20:01,790 --> 00:20:03,920
He loved that car.
586
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,920
You should know, Frank,
587
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:09,330
I don't volunteer at the nursing
home just out of kindness.
588
00:20:09,330 --> 00:20:11,500
It's court ordered
for juvenile offenders.
589
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:12,880
Juvenile offend--
590
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,960
I'm not judging.
591
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:16,960
Although it sounds like
there was a judge involved.
592
00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,290
I am on
a better path now,
593
00:20:18,290 --> 00:20:19,960
but if you can't
handle a kiss,
594
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:22,620
you will definitely freak out
over the rest of the package.
595
00:20:22,620 --> 00:20:24,000
A lot of guys
have left me
596
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,380
feeling pretty bad
about myself...
597
00:20:25,380 --> 00:20:27,380
A lot of guys?
598
00:20:27,380 --> 00:20:29,460
Not judging.
Don't burn my car.
599
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:31,040
I am not putting myself
through that again.
600
00:20:31,040 --> 00:20:32,710
Goodbye.
601
00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:34,620
Goodbye, Angela.
602
00:20:34,620 --> 00:20:36,210
Hi, Joey.
603
00:20:36,210 --> 00:20:37,170
Angela.
604
00:20:39,670 --> 00:20:41,210
Congrats, man.
605
00:20:41,210 --> 00:20:44,000
Gotta say,
I'm impressed.
606
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,920
And not too proud
to extend my hand
607
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:46,920
when the better man
wins.
608
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,250
I blew it.
609
00:20:48,250 --> 00:20:50,330
She told me
she's not interested.
610
00:20:50,330 --> 00:20:52,580
And the world makes sense
once again.
611
00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:55,380
♪♪
612
00:20:55,380 --> 00:20:57,170
I keep thinking how we're
gonna have to relive
613
00:20:57,170 --> 00:20:59,540
that filthy milestone
with three more kids.
614
00:20:59,540 --> 00:21:01,290
Four.
615
00:21:01,290 --> 00:21:03,790
Timmy didn't know what the hell
we were talking about today.
616
00:21:03,790 --> 00:21:05,080
[ Groans ]
617
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:06,710
Men are animals.
618
00:21:06,710 --> 00:21:09,290
[ Indistinct talking,
wood chopping on television ]
619
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:16,210
[ Inhales deeply ]
620
00:21:16,210 --> 00:21:18,420
I'm gonna have to go
621
00:21:18,420 --> 00:21:19,790
and put a load
in the wash.
622
00:21:21,540 --> 00:21:24,380
That woman is a saint.
45708
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