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1
00:00:01,634 --> 00:00:03,768
♪ ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
2
00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:06,771
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,839 --> 00:00:10,242
♪ travel down the road
and back again ♪
4
00:00:10,309 --> 00:00:12,210
♪ your heart is true ♪
5
00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:17,049
♪ you're a pal
and a confidante ♪
6
00:00:17,116 --> 00:00:20,519
♪ and if you threw
a party ♪
7
00:00:20,586 --> 00:00:24,523
♪ invited everyone
you knew ♪
8
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,324
♪ you would see ♪
9
00:00:26,392 --> 00:00:29,027
♪ the biggest gift
would be from me ♪
10
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:31,096
♪ and the card attached
would say ♪
11
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:33,765
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,832 --> 00:00:35,500
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,635
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
14
00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:39,171
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪♪
15
00:00:45,144 --> 00:00:48,080
Captioning made possible by
witt/thomas/harris productions,
cbs television network,
16
00:00:48,147 --> 00:00:51,083
And 1992 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
17
00:01:05,531 --> 00:01:07,966
It's gone.
I can't believe it.
18
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,802
30 years,
and now it's gone.
19
00:01:10,869 --> 00:01:14,606
Let me guess--
your short-term memory?
20
00:01:14,673 --> 00:01:16,108
My short-term memory?
21
00:01:16,175 --> 00:01:19,077
Please.
My short-term memory.
22
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,778
Who's the mexican?
23
00:01:22,781 --> 00:01:24,682
Sophia, what's gone?
24
00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:27,552
My purse is gone.
Stolen by some thug.
25
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:29,588
O.K., tell us
what happened.
26
00:01:29,655 --> 00:01:31,590
I'll tell you
what happened.
27
00:01:31,657 --> 00:01:33,091
The economy gets bad.
28
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,093
People resort
to car-jacking.
29
00:01:35,161 --> 00:01:36,194
Car-jacking?
30
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:40,265
Oh, yeah.
I borrowed your car.
31
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:42,867
So they stole my car?
32
00:01:42,935 --> 00:01:44,869
With my purse in it.
33
00:01:44,937 --> 00:01:47,672
They could be anyplace.
The tank was full.
34
00:01:47,740 --> 00:01:49,674
You filled the tank?
35
00:01:49,742 --> 00:01:52,677
Oh, yeah. I borrowed
your credit card.
36
00:01:54,046 --> 00:01:55,280
I can't believe this.
37
00:01:55,348 --> 00:01:57,315
I better call
the insurance company.
38
00:01:57,383 --> 00:01:59,551
We should do
something about this.
39
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:02,053
Maybe I should teach
a self-defense seminar.
40
00:02:02,121 --> 00:02:04,856
I'm a blue belt
in tae kwon do.
41
00:02:04,923 --> 00:02:06,158
A blue belt?
42
00:02:06,225 --> 00:02:08,026
I could teach
some maneuvers.
43
00:02:08,093 --> 00:02:10,795
You could invite
some friends over.
44
00:02:10,863 --> 00:02:13,064
A guy's coming
at me with a gun,
45
00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:15,767
And I can moon him.
46
00:02:16,902 --> 00:02:18,503
How do I look?
47
00:02:18,571 --> 00:02:19,638
Mmm. Fine.
48
00:02:19,705 --> 00:02:21,973
I spent three hours
getting ready.
49
00:02:22,041 --> 00:02:24,409
You can do better
than that.
50
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:27,712
I was thinking
the same thing
about you.
51
00:02:27,780 --> 00:02:29,847
Roland, how do I look?
52
00:02:29,915 --> 00:02:31,716
You look nice.
53
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:34,085
Nice? Rose,
tell them how I look.
54
00:02:34,153 --> 00:02:35,620
Like a glimmering jewel,
55
00:02:35,688 --> 00:02:38,590
A perfect diamond
in a field of darkness,
56
00:02:38,658 --> 00:02:41,025
Flawless, spectacular,
and stunning.
57
00:02:41,093 --> 00:02:43,094
Thank you, dear.
58
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:46,798
You're new
to our little game.
59
00:02:46,865 --> 00:02:48,800
I'd better look my best.
60
00:02:48,867 --> 00:02:51,703
I have a big date
with bobby lee.
61
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:54,872
I don't know
if I mentioned it.
Bobby lee's a...
62
00:02:54,940 --> 00:02:58,343
Cattle baron from austin.
Cattle baron from austin.
63
00:02:58,411 --> 00:02:59,777
Well, he is,
64
00:02:59,845 --> 00:03:04,716
And I think he's going
to ask me a special
question tonight.
65
00:03:04,783 --> 00:03:07,852
I assumed
you were going out 'cause
tomorrow's your birthday.
66
00:03:07,920 --> 00:03:10,054
So that's why
rebecca's coming in.
67
00:03:10,122 --> 00:03:13,191
Daughters love to watch
their mothers get older.
68
00:03:13,259 --> 00:03:15,460
Oh, honey.
I'm sure she's coming
69
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,829
To watch you
get fatter, too.
70
00:03:18,997 --> 00:03:21,499
Uh, no, thank you.
71
00:03:24,837 --> 00:03:27,772
Well, I had
a great time as usual.
72
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,276
B-blanche, there's
something I've been
meaning to ask you.
73
00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:33,745
I'm 42 years old.
74
00:03:33,812 --> 00:03:35,747
Yeah,
you mentioned that.
75
00:03:35,814 --> 00:03:37,649
So you were born in...
76
00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,083
Atlanta.
77
00:03:39,151 --> 00:03:40,518
Right.
78
00:03:40,586 --> 00:03:44,021
Yeah.
Sit down for a minute,
would you, darling?
79
00:03:44,089 --> 00:03:46,791
No, what I wanted to
ask is--look, blanche,
80
00:03:46,859 --> 00:03:49,294
I've been
a bachelor too long.
81
00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:52,230
We laugh
at all the same things,
82
00:03:52,298 --> 00:03:54,399
And we understand
each other.
83
00:03:54,467 --> 00:03:57,869
I don't know. Maybe it's
time to settle down.
84
00:03:57,936 --> 00:03:59,504
Maybe it is.
85
00:03:59,572 --> 00:04:02,607
So...I don't know
how else to ask this.
86
00:04:03,776 --> 00:04:04,676
Blanche...
87
00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,078
I want you
to be my wife.
88
00:04:07,146 --> 00:04:09,514
Oh, bobby lee.
89
00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:10,848
And bear my babies.
90
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:18,122
I just don't know
what to say--what?
91
00:04:19,492 --> 00:04:21,459
I want you
to have my kids.
92
00:04:21,527 --> 00:04:23,828
Oh, my god.
93
00:04:23,896 --> 00:04:25,664
I'm not a young man.
94
00:04:25,731 --> 00:04:27,666
I know your
biological clock's
ticking.
95
00:04:27,733 --> 00:04:29,434
Tick-tock.
96
00:04:29,502 --> 00:04:32,771
So this is something
I want to do right away.
97
00:04:32,838 --> 00:04:33,805
Uh-huh.
98
00:04:33,872 --> 00:04:35,807
Well, bobby lee,
there's something
99
00:04:35,874 --> 00:04:38,777
I haven't been totally
honest with you about.
100
00:04:38,844 --> 00:04:40,612
Well, it seems that--
101
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,615
I know you're not
42 years old, blanche.
102
00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:45,517
I'm 46 years old?
103
00:04:45,584 --> 00:04:46,818
Blanche.
104
00:04:46,885 --> 00:04:49,688
All right,
I'm even older than 46.
105
00:04:49,755 --> 00:04:52,290
I don't care
if you're 56.
106
00:04:52,358 --> 00:04:54,859
I'm not.
I swear I'm not.
107
00:04:55,994 --> 00:04:59,030
I'm not looking for
a 30-year-old wife.
108
00:04:59,097 --> 00:05:00,998
I want to be with you.
109
00:05:01,066 --> 00:05:03,535
What I'm talking
about's not impossible.
110
00:05:03,602 --> 00:05:06,504
I've been a cattle
rancher all my life.
111
00:05:06,572 --> 00:05:09,708
If there's something
I know, it's breeding.
112
00:05:09,775 --> 00:05:13,378
So let's let
those doctors
do all the worrying.
113
00:05:13,446 --> 00:05:16,948
Just tell me you want
to have my children.
114
00:05:17,015 --> 00:05:19,784
Oh, I do,
bobby lee taggert.
I do!
115
00:05:25,690 --> 00:05:27,124
Good morning, everybody.
116
00:05:27,191 --> 00:05:30,494
I have
an announcement to make.
117
00:05:30,562 --> 00:05:31,495
Come on.
118
00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:32,596
Listen.
119
00:05:32,664 --> 00:05:36,534
Bobby lee has asked
for my hand in marriage,
120
00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:38,669
And I accepted.
121
00:05:38,737 --> 00:05:40,103
You did?
- I did.
122
00:05:40,171 --> 00:05:42,640
I don't know
what to say.
123
00:05:42,707 --> 00:05:44,107
I do. Congratulations.
124
00:05:44,175 --> 00:05:45,208
Thank you.
125
00:05:45,276 --> 00:05:47,110
Yeah, congratulations.
That's great, blanche.
126
00:05:47,178 --> 00:05:48,512
Wait a minute.
Wait. There's more.
127
00:05:48,580 --> 00:05:52,983
He also asked me
to have his baby.
128
00:05:58,089 --> 00:06:01,091
And I said yes
to that, too.
129
00:06:04,629 --> 00:06:06,229
You did?
- I did.
130
00:06:06,297 --> 00:06:08,632
I don't know what to say.
131
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:11,101
I do. You're old.
132
00:06:12,270 --> 00:06:14,304
Hey, sophia.
133
00:06:14,372 --> 00:06:16,106
What? She's a fossil.
134
00:06:17,442 --> 00:06:19,309
I am not.
135
00:06:19,377 --> 00:06:21,278
Oh, please.
136
00:06:21,346 --> 00:06:22,780
Come on, blanche.
137
00:06:22,848 --> 00:06:23,781
Sophia exaggerates,
138
00:06:23,849 --> 00:06:26,650
But she does
make a point.
139
00:06:26,718 --> 00:06:31,054
It may be too late
for you to have a baby.
140
00:06:31,122 --> 00:06:33,357
Don't you think
that ship has sailed?
141
00:06:33,424 --> 00:06:35,526
That ship has sunk.
142
00:06:37,629 --> 00:06:41,499
This is because
you lied about
your age, isn't it?
143
00:06:41,566 --> 00:06:42,800
No.
144
00:06:42,868 --> 00:06:45,736
Bobby lee told me
about this grandmother
in california
145
00:06:45,804 --> 00:06:47,571
Who gave birth to twins.
146
00:06:47,639 --> 00:06:50,508
Her husband fertilized
the egg of another woman.
147
00:06:50,575 --> 00:06:52,910
Then they implanted
it in her uterus.
148
00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:54,478
Men!
149
00:07:00,619 --> 00:07:02,987
Blanche, why are you
doing this?
150
00:07:03,054 --> 00:07:06,624
This is all because
of her birthday.
151
00:07:06,691 --> 00:07:09,527
Every year
you try harder
to stay younger.
152
00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:11,862
That's exactly why
you're getting pregnant.
153
00:07:11,930 --> 00:07:13,864
This isn't
about my birthday.
154
00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:16,867
I've met a man
I really care about.
155
00:07:16,935 --> 00:07:19,202
I owe it to him
to try this.
156
00:07:19,270 --> 00:07:22,740
At least try to talk
to him about adoption.
157
00:07:22,807 --> 00:07:26,243
All right. I suppose that's
something we could consider.
158
00:07:26,310 --> 00:07:29,680
Besides, where are you
going to find an egg?
159
00:07:33,618 --> 00:07:36,620
It has to be
a human one, right?
160
00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:45,896
No, rose.
161
00:07:45,964 --> 00:07:49,366
I'm going to give birth
to an 8-pound hamster.
162
00:07:50,869 --> 00:07:55,539
Oh, good luck
trying to get that
into a decent college.
163
00:08:01,746 --> 00:08:04,682
We're going to learn some
basic protective techniques.
164
00:08:04,749 --> 00:08:08,986
Did you know that
anything in your purse
can be a weapon?
165
00:08:09,054 --> 00:08:11,555
It sounds impossible,
but even--
166
00:08:23,534 --> 00:08:26,536
O.K., who threw
the estrogen?
167
00:08:28,239 --> 00:08:32,009
Come on. We're not
moving on until
somebody tells me.
168
00:08:32,077 --> 00:08:34,878
Did you see
who threw this, sir?
169
00:08:34,946 --> 00:08:37,581
I am not a sir.
170
00:08:40,986 --> 00:08:42,953
Do yourself a favor.
171
00:08:44,489 --> 00:08:48,425
O.K., before
we get started, let's
get to know everybody.
172
00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:50,928
Ma'am, could
you come up here?
173
00:08:50,996 --> 00:08:52,930
What's your name, ma'am?
174
00:08:52,998 --> 00:08:53,931
Sylvia.
175
00:08:53,999 --> 00:08:56,934
Sylvia, and why did
you take the class?
176
00:08:57,002 --> 00:08:58,869
My husband
worries about me.
177
00:08:58,937 --> 00:09:00,838
I go on the bus,
178
00:09:00,905 --> 00:09:03,373
And he says
it's too dangerous.
179
00:09:03,441 --> 00:09:06,376
My husband says
that I'm frail and old
180
00:09:06,444 --> 00:09:09,647
And just asking
for trouble.
181
00:09:09,714 --> 00:09:11,982
Fe
- what's your goal
with this course?
182
00:09:12,050 --> 00:09:14,952
I'd like
to put the bastard
through a window.
183
00:09:15,020 --> 00:09:16,754
Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Yeah!
184
00:09:16,821 --> 00:09:18,221
Way to go!
185
00:09:18,289 --> 00:09:19,489
Yeah!
186
00:09:19,557 --> 00:09:21,759
Yeah!
187
00:09:21,826 --> 00:09:25,763
I guess you're ready
for the combat part
of the seminar.
188
00:09:25,830 --> 00:09:27,898
Our attacker today's
mr. Chuy castillos.
189
00:09:27,966 --> 00:09:29,432
Yaah!
190
00:09:29,500 --> 00:09:32,703
I'll get you!
I'll get you all!
191
00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:33,871
Aah!
192
00:09:33,938 --> 00:09:35,906
Chuy exaggerates
a little bit
193
00:09:35,974 --> 00:09:38,909
Because a real attacker
usually approaches
more cautiously.
194
00:09:38,977 --> 00:09:41,912
They might ask you
for the time
195
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:43,480
Or ask for directions.
196
00:09:43,548 --> 00:09:44,648
Oh, dear.
197
00:09:44,716 --> 00:09:46,016
Two rules to remember--
198
00:09:46,084 --> 00:09:47,417
Number one is volume.
199
00:09:47,485 --> 00:09:50,387
Don't be afraid
to make lots of noise.
200
00:09:50,454 --> 00:09:53,057
Number two is never stop
walking. Otherwise,
you'll be a victim.
201
00:09:53,124 --> 00:09:54,457
O.K., let's get started.
202
00:09:54,525 --> 00:09:56,459
We're going to learn
some basic techniques.
203
00:09:56,527 --> 00:09:58,295
Are your pads in place?
204
00:09:58,362 --> 00:10:00,764
Hey, relax.
I'm the michelin man.
205
00:10:00,832 --> 00:10:03,567
I got everything
covered but my shins.
206
00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:04,634
Ow!
207
00:10:07,605 --> 00:10:08,538
Get him!
208
00:10:08,606 --> 00:10:09,539
Get him!
209
00:10:09,607 --> 00:10:10,540
Get him!
210
00:10:10,608 --> 00:10:12,375
Get him! Go!
Get him!
211
00:10:12,443 --> 00:10:13,911
It wasorrible--
212
00:10:13,978 --> 00:10:17,214
All these old hands trying
to rip off a piece of me.
213
00:10:18,183 --> 00:10:19,282
Hi.
214
00:10:19,350 --> 00:10:21,284
Well, how did it go?
215
00:10:21,352 --> 00:10:23,687
Bobby lee has no
interest in adoption.
216
00:10:23,755 --> 00:10:25,689
He wants
his own children.
217
00:10:25,757 --> 00:10:29,226
Well, you're just going
to have to tell him no.
218
00:10:29,293 --> 00:10:32,562
I mean, where are you
going to find an egg?
219
00:10:32,630 --> 00:10:35,065
It has to be someone
you're close to,
220
00:10:35,133 --> 00:10:37,534
Someone whose medical
history you know,
221
00:10:37,602 --> 00:10:39,569
And it has to be somebody
222
00:10:39,637 --> 00:10:42,139
Who'll let you
raise the baby.
223
00:10:42,207 --> 00:10:43,941
Mama!
224
00:10:44,008 --> 00:10:46,977
Oh, look, it's rebecca.
225
00:10:47,045 --> 00:10:47,978
Rebecca!
226
00:10:48,046 --> 00:10:48,979
Oh!
227
00:10:49,047 --> 00:10:51,181
Oh!
228
00:10:51,249 --> 00:10:52,682
I've looked
and looked,
229
00:10:52,751 --> 00:10:56,153
And I can't find
a birthday present
for you.
230
00:10:56,221 --> 00:10:57,687
Don't make me guess.
231
00:10:57,756 --> 00:10:59,689
Tell me
what you want.
232
00:10:59,758 --> 00:11:01,959
Name anything,
and it's yours.
233
00:11:02,026 --> 00:11:03,493
Oh, honey.
234
00:11:03,561 --> 00:11:05,729
Material things
don't matter.
235
00:11:05,797 --> 00:11:09,066
It's what's inside you
that counts.
236
00:11:21,178 --> 00:11:25,081
Oh, good. I'm so glad
you girls are still up.
237
00:11:25,149 --> 00:11:27,016
I need some advice.
238
00:11:27,084 --> 00:11:28,451
Don't wear puff sleeves--
239
00:11:28,518 --> 00:11:31,420
Makes you look like
babe ruth in drag.
240
00:11:31,488 --> 00:11:32,488
Get this.
241
00:11:32,556 --> 00:11:35,658
I asked rebecca to
help me have this baby.
242
00:11:35,726 --> 00:11:38,161
She says she needs
to think about it.
243
00:11:38,229 --> 00:11:39,662
Can you believe her?
244
00:11:39,730 --> 00:11:42,165
You can't get upset
at rebecca.
245
00:11:42,233 --> 00:11:44,167
This is a big thing.
246
00:11:44,235 --> 00:11:47,070
Maybe she doesn't have
an egg to spare.
247
00:11:47,137 --> 00:11:48,637
Oh, please.
248
00:11:48,705 --> 00:11:50,974
The woman's
an easter bunny.
249
00:11:52,609 --> 00:11:54,043
She'll turn me down
250
00:11:54,111 --> 00:11:57,146
'cause she thinks
I ought to act my age.
251
00:11:57,214 --> 00:11:59,749
I'm not old,
and I don't feel old.
252
00:11:59,816 --> 00:12:02,886
You ought to feel
under your neck.
253
00:12:06,156 --> 00:12:08,091
Mama, there you are.
254
00:12:08,158 --> 00:12:11,594
Listen, I've been giving
this a lot of thought.
255
00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:15,098
I really don't think
this is a good idea.
256
00:12:15,165 --> 00:12:18,801
Pregnancies can be
very complicated,
and at your age--
257
00:12:18,869 --> 00:12:20,136
Don't you lecture me.
258
00:12:20,204 --> 00:12:22,438
I'm not here
to lecture you.
259
00:12:22,506 --> 00:12:24,840
Have you thought
how you'll raise
this by?
260
00:12:24,909 --> 00:12:27,210
The same way I raised you.
261
00:12:27,278 --> 00:12:29,078
I' get good people in.
262
00:12:29,146 --> 00:12:32,315
Mama, you're not helping
your argument here.
263
00:12:32,383 --> 00:12:36,519
Anyhow,
you know I don't think
this is a good idea,
264
00:12:36,586 --> 00:12:38,955
But if you're really
so sold on it,
265
00:12:39,023 --> 00:12:41,457
I'll try to give you
what you need.
266
00:12:41,525 --> 00:12:43,960
Rebecca,
that's wonderful.
267
00:12:44,028 --> 00:12:47,363
But no matter
what you say, you're
not a young woman.
268
00:12:47,431 --> 00:12:51,167
Are you sure
you can deal
with a little person
269
00:12:51,235 --> 00:12:53,369
Yelling and
screaming at 3 a.M.
270
00:12:53,437 --> 00:12:55,438
'cause she needs
to be burped?
271
00:12:59,543 --> 00:13:02,478
I only do that
on sausage night.
272
00:13:08,018 --> 00:13:09,018
[moaning]
273
00:13:25,436 --> 00:13:28,471
Good, you're up.
I can't sleep.
274
00:13:28,538 --> 00:13:30,473
Excited about
the big birthday?
275
00:13:30,540 --> 00:13:34,643
I said not to talk
about my birthday.
276
00:13:34,711 --> 00:13:36,912
I'm talking about
junior's birthday.
277
00:13:50,361 --> 00:13:53,129
I'm pregnant?
278
00:13:53,197 --> 00:13:56,232
I don't remember
getting pregnant.
279
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:58,234
How can you not remember?
280
00:13:58,302 --> 00:14:01,237
I went to the
clinic with you.
281
00:14:01,305 --> 00:14:04,073
They gave us
the early bird special--
282
00:14:04,141 --> 00:14:06,142
Ffee, danish,
and two eggs.
283
00:14:17,154 --> 00:14:18,554
You got pregnant, too?
284
00:14:18,622 --> 00:14:20,589
Well, it was your idea.
285
00:14:20,657 --> 00:14:24,127
You said anybody
could do it.
286
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:27,596
I guess I forgot
about all the other stuff--
287
00:14:27,664 --> 00:14:30,633
The morning sickness,
the varicose veins,
the craving.
288
00:14:30,700 --> 00:14:33,202
You know
what I crave most?
289
00:14:33,270 --> 00:14:35,204
What?
- Revenge!
290
00:14:35,272 --> 00:14:37,606
How could you
do this to me?
291
00:14:37,674 --> 00:14:39,608
It isn't my fault.
292
00:14:39,676 --> 00:14:42,545
How could you
do this to my back?
293
00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:45,048
You'd think by now
they'd have something
294
00:14:45,115 --> 00:14:47,350
To take the strain
off our backs.
295
00:14:47,418 --> 00:14:49,618
Oh...
296
00:14:49,686 --> 00:14:52,121
Oh...
297
00:14:52,189 --> 00:14:54,890
Oh...
298
00:14:54,958 --> 00:14:57,460
Oh...
299
00:15:04,334 --> 00:15:07,437
Sophia, how did
you get pregnant?
300
00:15:07,504 --> 00:15:10,039
I shook hands
with warren beatty.
301
00:15:11,641 --> 00:15:14,243
You took me to have
an egg implanted.
302
00:15:14,311 --> 00:15:15,244
I did?
303
00:15:15,312 --> 00:15:17,746
It must be nice
having wheels.
304
00:15:17,814 --> 00:15:20,749
You know what
would be nicer?
Brakes! Brakes!
305
00:15:20,817 --> 00:15:23,086
Somebody stop me!
Somebody stop me!
306
00:15:23,153 --> 00:15:25,588
Here, here, here.
Just sit down.
307
00:15:25,655 --> 00:15:27,090
Have a seat.
308
00:15:27,157 --> 00:15:28,591
You got her?
309
00:15:28,658 --> 00:15:31,094
Wait a minute,
I got her.
310
00:15:31,161 --> 00:15:33,563
I got her.
I got her.
311
00:15:33,630 --> 00:15:34,897
O.K., whoa.
312
00:15:34,965 --> 00:15:36,399
Whoa...
- Whoa...
313
00:15:36,467 --> 00:15:37,900
Here we go.
314
00:15:37,968 --> 00:15:39,034
Whoa...
- Whoa...
315
00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:44,740
So, have
you had the results of
the ultra-sound, sophia?
316
00:15:44,808 --> 00:15:47,510
Yup, and there's
good news. It's a boy.
317
00:15:47,578 --> 00:15:49,212
Oh.
- Oh.
318
00:15:49,279 --> 00:15:50,813
And he's 35.
319
00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,881
Oh!
- Oh!
320
00:15:52,949 --> 00:15:54,850
And he's a dentist.
321
00:15:54,918 --> 00:15:55,851
Great.
322
00:15:55,919 --> 00:15:56,819
Congratulations.
323
00:15:56,886 --> 00:15:58,354
Here, have a toothbrush.
324
00:15:58,422 --> 00:15:59,388
Thank you.
325
00:16:01,725 --> 00:16:05,261
Boy, this baby has me
a little queasy.
326
00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:06,262
Me, too.
327
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:07,963
Whoop. Want
to feel a kick?
328
00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:10,966
Sure.
- How could you
this to me?
329
00:16:11,034 --> 00:16:12,001
Ow!
330
00:16:12,068 --> 00:16:13,436
Hey!
331
00:16:17,841 --> 00:16:20,676
All I said was
anyone can get pregnant.
332
00:16:20,744 --> 00:16:22,145
I didn't mean everyone.
333
00:16:22,212 --> 00:16:23,812
Now she tells us.
334
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,748
What do you mean?
335
00:16:25,815 --> 00:16:27,483
Oh...
336
00:16:34,558 --> 00:16:36,992
I am so ugly.
337
00:16:39,095 --> 00:16:41,063
No, you're not,
roland.
338
00:16:41,131 --> 00:16:42,565
I'm fat. I'm ugly.
339
00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:45,568
I hate myself.
I hate my face.
340
00:16:45,636 --> 00:16:47,069
I hate my body,
341
00:16:47,137 --> 00:16:51,073
But what I hate most are
these damn mood swings.
342
00:16:51,141 --> 00:16:52,375
Oh!
343
00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,377
Blanche also
didn't tell you
344
00:16:54,444 --> 00:16:58,881
You're going to have
to give up sleeping
on your stomach.
345
00:16:58,948 --> 00:17:01,884
I'd give anything
to sleep on my stomach.
346
00:17:01,951 --> 00:17:05,854
It's not like there's
anywhere else you
can carry a baby,
347
00:17:05,922 --> 00:17:06,922
Is there?
348
00:17:06,990 --> 00:17:08,824
Oh...
349
00:17:11,127 --> 00:17:13,028
Oh...
350
00:17:14,998 --> 00:17:19,635
I...I'd give a million
dollars to sit in a chair.
351
00:17:19,703 --> 00:17:21,136
Oh, I'm so sorry.
352
00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:23,038
Oh, this just
isn't right.
353
00:17:23,106 --> 00:17:24,540
Ow!
354
00:17:24,608 --> 00:17:26,041
I'm so sorry, everybody.
355
00:17:26,109 --> 00:17:27,009
I'm sorry.
356
00:17:27,077 --> 00:17:28,010
I'm sorry.
357
00:17:28,078 --> 00:17:29,011
I'm sorry.
358
00:17:29,079 --> 00:17:30,546
I'm sorry.
359
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:32,047
I'm sorry.
360
00:17:32,115 --> 00:17:33,549
I'm sorry.
361
00:17:33,617 --> 00:17:34,983
I'm sorry.
362
00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:36,018
Wake up.
363
00:17:36,086 --> 00:17:38,521
Wake up, sweetie.
It's a dream.
364
00:17:38,589 --> 00:17:39,988
Oh, it is?
365
00:17:40,056 --> 00:17:41,023
Uh-huh.
366
00:17:41,091 --> 00:17:42,525
Oh, thank god.
367
00:17:42,593 --> 00:17:46,061
I think I forgot what
it's like to be pregnant.
368
00:17:46,129 --> 00:17:47,530
I can't do this.
369
00:17:47,598 --> 00:17:50,132
What if I never
get my body back?
370
00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,568
Oh, you'll get
your body back.
371
00:17:52,636 --> 00:17:54,870
It'll just be all
stretched out of shape.
372
00:17:59,876 --> 00:18:02,245
I'm looking for
a sophia petrillo.
373
00:18:02,312 --> 00:18:03,646
Does she live here?
374
00:18:03,714 --> 00:18:06,582
That's her purse.
Where did you find that?
375
00:18:06,650 --> 00:18:09,518
I'm the parking valet
at the hotel next door.
376
00:18:09,586 --> 00:18:12,154
She left her car
with us yesterday.
377
00:18:12,222 --> 00:18:13,822
She valet-parked the car.
378
00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:16,659
That's my purse.
That's the guy.
379
00:18:16,727 --> 00:18:17,660
Get him!
380
00:18:17,728 --> 00:18:18,728
Get him!
381
00:18:20,397 --> 00:18:21,397
Ladies!
382
00:18:21,465 --> 00:18:23,899
Ladies, come on, please,
control yourself!
383
00:18:23,967 --> 00:18:25,401
Ooh, good knee, sophia.
384
00:18:25,469 --> 00:18:27,403
She just hit him like--
385
00:18:27,471 --> 00:18:28,904
Hey, stop that, ladies!
386
00:18:28,972 --> 00:18:31,307
Bad ladies! Bad ladies!
387
00:18:31,375 --> 00:18:32,841
Oh...
388
00:18:32,909 --> 00:18:36,779
Have you had a chance
to talk to bobby lee?
389
00:18:36,846 --> 00:18:37,780
Not yet.
390
00:18:37,847 --> 00:18:39,148
Here he is now.
391
00:18:39,215 --> 00:18:42,151
I don't think
I can do this.
392
00:18:42,218 --> 00:18:45,120
You have to, and
I'll be here for you.
393
00:18:45,188 --> 00:18:47,356
I'll be sticking by you.
394
00:18:47,424 --> 00:18:50,326
I'm glue, baby.
I ain't going anywhere.
395
00:18:50,394 --> 00:18:51,860
Hey, a dime!
396
00:18:51,928 --> 00:18:53,128
Oh!
397
00:18:55,632 --> 00:18:57,065
Hi, bobby lee.
398
00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:58,167
Hey, blanche.
399
00:18:58,234 --> 00:19:01,069
There's something I want
to talk to you about.
400
00:19:01,137 --> 00:19:02,070
Yeah.
401
00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:04,973
It's about us having
a baby, bobby lee.
402
00:19:05,041 --> 00:19:07,876
See, I--I--I just
don't think that--
403
00:19:07,944 --> 00:19:10,879
Blanche, I know what
you're worrying about,
404
00:19:10,947 --> 00:19:13,649
We've got to take
the ll by the horns,
405
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:15,785
And face it--it's true.
406
00:19:15,852 --> 00:19:16,752
It's true?
407
00:19:16,820 --> 00:19:19,689
Then you mean
y-you think that I'm--
408
00:19:19,756 --> 00:19:20,690
I'm sterile.
409
00:19:20,757 --> 00:19:23,459
I--I can't
get you pregnant.
410
00:19:26,596 --> 00:19:29,031
Aw, bobby lee.
411
00:19:29,098 --> 00:19:33,502
I got tested today
and got a really
low sperm count,
412
00:19:33,570 --> 00:19:35,204
It's not
because I'm old.
413
00:19:35,271 --> 00:19:37,239
I'm not old either.
414
00:19:37,307 --> 00:19:39,775
I guess you never
want to see me again.
415
00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:41,310
Of course I do!
416
00:19:41,378 --> 00:19:44,814
But we don't have to rush
into marriage either.
417
00:19:44,881 --> 00:19:48,183
Maybe we just ought
to face the fact
that we're...
418
00:19:48,251 --> 00:19:50,486
That you're...
Approaching middle age,
419
00:19:50,554 --> 00:19:53,489
But, hey, we can still
have fun together.
420
00:19:53,557 --> 00:19:55,725
That would be wonderful.
421
00:19:55,792 --> 00:19:58,026
Oh...Oh...
422
00:19:58,094 --> 00:19:59,562
Boy...And to think
423
00:19:59,629 --> 00:20:06,001
That I got
a whole freezer full
of bull sperm at home.
424
00:20:06,069 --> 00:20:09,004
Well,
water, water everywhere,
huh, blanche?
425
00:20:09,072 --> 00:20:11,006
I'll call you later,
darling.
426
00:20:11,074 --> 00:20:11,974
O.K.
427
00:20:12,041 --> 00:20:13,442
Bye.
428
00:20:15,645 --> 00:20:17,513
Well, where is he?
429
00:20:17,581 --> 00:20:19,482
I want to meet the man
430
00:20:19,549 --> 00:20:21,517
That's going
to marry my mama...
431
00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:22,518
And father my baby.
432
00:20:22,586 --> 00:20:26,021
Well, it turned out
that he was too old.
433
00:20:26,089 --> 00:20:27,690
He was too old?
434
00:20:27,758 --> 00:20:29,191
O.K., I'm too old.
435
00:20:29,259 --> 00:20:31,527
Is that what you
want to hear--
436
00:20:31,595 --> 00:20:34,530
That I'm nothing but
a vain foolish woman
437
00:20:34,598 --> 00:20:37,466
Who refuses
to act her age?
438
00:20:37,534 --> 00:20:40,536
You're
a beautiful, elegant,
intelligent woman
439
00:20:40,604 --> 00:20:43,539
Who doesn't need
to act like a teenager.
440
00:20:43,607 --> 00:20:45,541
Don't you see?
441
00:20:45,609 --> 00:20:49,545
I want you to be proud
of who you are,
442
00:20:49,613 --> 00:20:52,080
'cause, mama, I sure am.
443
00:20:52,148 --> 00:20:55,584
Oh, baby.
I am so stupid.
444
00:20:55,652 --> 00:20:59,054
I've been working
so hard trying
to have another child,
445
00:20:59,122 --> 00:21:01,524
And I've got
one right here
446
00:21:01,591 --> 00:21:03,992
I'll just never
learn enough about.
447
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:07,095
Rebecca jean, how'd you
ever get so smart?
448
00:21:07,163 --> 00:21:09,097
We're only as smart
as our parents.
449
00:21:09,165 --> 00:21:10,165
Oh.
450
00:21:10,233 --> 00:21:13,035
Maybe you're not
my real mother.
451
00:21:13,102 --> 00:21:14,537
Hey, come here, you.
452
00:21:14,604 --> 00:21:16,572
Happy birthday, mama.
453
00:21:27,149 --> 00:21:29,583
Come on, come on,
come on.
454
00:21:29,651 --> 00:21:31,085
Oh, hold that elevator.
455
00:21:31,153 --> 00:21:32,086
Hold it.
456
00:21:32,154 --> 00:21:33,087
Come on.
457
00:21:33,155 --> 00:21:35,456
Oh, been jogging?
458
00:21:35,524 --> 00:21:36,457
Yeah.
459
00:21:36,525 --> 00:21:37,958
[lady]
there he is!
460
00:21:38,027 --> 00:21:38,959
Get him!
461
00:21:39,028 --> 00:21:39,960
Get him!
462
00:21:40,029 --> 00:21:40,961
Oh!
- Oh!
463
00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:42,897
Oh, shoot!
- Oh!
464
00:21:44,533 --> 00:21:46,767
I forgot my hot milk.
465
00:21:46,835 --> 00:21:48,302
Aah!
- Aah!
- Aah!
466
00:21:48,370 --> 00:21:51,339
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
467
00:21:51,407 --> 00:21:54,275
Captions copyright 1993
touchstone pictures
and television
468
00:21:54,343 --> 00:21:59,047
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute
31789
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