All language subtitles for The Cool Kids s01e22_English

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[air horn blows]

[Sid chuckles]

Y'all know what time it is?

Time for me to change my shorts?

No. It's time for...

HANK/CHARLIE/SID:
Friend-aversary!

[air horns blowing]

You guys...

Look at her, just dying to know

what Friend-aversary is.

Oh, let me guess.

It's the anniversary
of the day you guys met.

I think this calls for areenactment of the fateful day.

Hank, would you like
to set the scene?

I don't think I really need
a reenactment...

The year was 2016.

Beyoncé had just turned
lemons into Lemonade.

North Korea was...
doing they thing.

Celebrities were
dropping like flies.

And Sidney Delacroix walked intothe Shady Meadow dining hall

for the very first time.

CHARLIE:
And it looked

a little something like this.

Wherever will I,

a killer candidate for
lifelong friendships, park it?

Oh, no. David Bowie and Prince,both dead.

And my phone is dying, too.

I think I have a charger
that you may borrow.

No, I do not.

Hey, kid,
do you have a charger?

Moi?I do have a phone charger.

I do.

Oh, boy, does thing
have a fast-forward?

Cool. Would you like
to sit with us?

Out of all the peopleat Shady Meadows, you chose me?

I'm so honored, and I accept.

-And that is how
history was made.
-Yeah.

[air horns blowing]

[laughs] Well, that was
actually very sweet.

It took a long, long time,

but it was very, very sweet.

And, uh, I know exactly
what I'm gonna get you guys

for anniversary presents:
acting lessons.

SID:
So,

for the anniversary dinner
tomorrow night,

I'll kick things off
with three-layer dip,

followed by
thrice-baked potatoes,

and then triple-fried

3 Musketeers bars!

I really would like
to make fun of you guys,

but it just keeps getting
cuter and cuter.

[chuckles]:
So, I'm in.

What's the dress code
for the dinner?

Well, your dress code
gonna be pajamas,

'cause you ain't coming.

♪

So you are seriously gonna
have a special dinner

about the friendships of this
table and not invite ya girl?

We'd love to,
but our hands are tied.

See, the Founding Fathers
don't make the rules.

Yes, they do. Of course they do.

That's all they do!

Well, I guess
she's not gonna leave,

so let's dive right in.

The theme of this year's
Friend-aversary

is "Now and Then."

This is us "Now."

And this is us "Then."

Oh, man, I got ripped.
[laughs]

Okay, aren't we missing
something critical?

I should be
in the "Now" picture.

Well, you were
till I cut you out.

It's amazing what you can do
with Photoshop.

Plus, I gave us bulges.

How are you a Founding Father
if Hank and Charlie

were already friends
before you even sat down?

Well, these guys, plus Jerry...

HANK/CHARLIE/SID:
R.I.P.

They had
had a few lunches,

but I was the special sauce

that brought
this table burger together.

All right.

Well, if you're
the special sauce,

I should at least
be the pickles.

Well, I couldn't have said thatbetter myself.

And we all agree,

burgers are nasty with pickles.

Nastier than three old men
with fake bulges?

And by the way, you gave
yourself three balls, Sid.

Okay, where were we?

Now, I've taken care ofthe music, the food, the decor.

Let me show you

what I'm thinking about
for the patio concept.

Charlie, you did book the patio,didn't you?

Sid, I am offended
that you would even ask.

That said, the answer is no.

Come on, Charlie.
You had one job.

Relax.
I'll reserve it now.

-Allison.
-[snapping fingers]

-Allison.
-[snapping fingers]

Allison!

What?

Allison, we are hereby booking
the patio for tomorrow.

Well, it delights me to tell you

that the patio
is already booked.

[chuckles]
Oh.

Oh. Oh, am I smiling right now?

I forgot what that feels like.

Who booked the patio?

The only people I like
less than you monsters:

Judy and the cat ladies.

Good luck convincing her
to give it to you, fellas.

[laughs]

[laughing]

Well, the dinner's not dead.

We can just have it
in one of our apartments.

SID:We have to have Friend-aversary

on the patio!

It's tradition!

Plus, it's gonna take me
24 hours just to decorate!

What are we gonna do?!

[air horn blows]

Thank you. I needed that.

Oh, I wouldn't do that.

That's Jason Bourne
you're about to punch, mister.

Pipe down, Dudley.

You talk to that book
one more time,

I'm gonna make you eat it.

Whoa, Mama's steaming
from the hood.

Any chance this venom
has something to do

with the upcoming
Friend-aversary?

You know about Friend-aversary?

Know about it? I lived it.

And it haunts me to this day.

Goodbye, Margaret.

Wai... Uh, Dudley, wait.
Don't go, don't go.

W-What are you talking about?

Oh. Usually, people want me toleave after a couple sentences.

Hank and Charlie asked meto join their table before Sid.

I was their first choice.

[chuckles]:
Oh, Dudley,

I don't mean
to insult you, sweetie,

but I find that
very hard to believe.

That's because
you didn't know me in 2016.

I could drive at night,
and my knee didn't click.

I was high on my own supply,

and I turned them down.

So their whole
Founding Father story

isn't true?

Unbelievable.

Turning them down
is my greatest regret.

Now all I dream about is
spending time with you guys.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's great to dream, isn't it?

Perfect.

Sorry.
Might want to try

hanging it a little higher
next time.

Or you might want to knock

before blasting in like
the friggin' Kool-Aid Man!

Sid, could you and I both agree

that this wholeFounding Father thing is silly?

Come on,
let me come to the dinner.

I would love to have you
at the dinner.

I really would.

But you're not
a Founding Father.

Well, technically,
neither are you.

The heck you talking about?

I know that you were notHank and Charlie's first choice

to sit at the table.

Oh, Margaret,

what a sad lie.

So desperate to get past
the velvet ropes,

you'll say anything.

Wait, did you not know?

[stammers]

You mean it's true?

But what about...
the phone charger?

What about the Founding Fathers?

What about the special sauce?

It was all a lie?

Wait... Ooh.

Whoa. Ow! Ow! Sid!

-[grunting]
-Oh, sweet Margaret. Oh.

[Margaret grunts]

I had the most terrible dream

that all my best friendships
were based on a lie.

It was real?

-[whimpers]
-Oh!

[cat yowls]

Ooh.

[cats meowing]

Oh, dear God.

-Shut the door.
-Shut the door.
-Shut the door.

Afternoon, uh, Judy,

other cat ladies...

[meows]

...cats.

Hank, what are you doing here?

You hate cats.

What, us? What?

-Judy, you crazy.
-[laughs]: Yeah.

Yeah, we think it's weird when
there's not 22 cats in a room.

Listen, uh, Judy,
we need a favor, but first,

-we want to give you this
little token of our respect.
-Yeah.

CHARLIE:
Primo catnip,and we brought it for the cats,

but, uh, there you go,
she's eating it.

HANK:
So, uh,

you guys booked the patio
for tomorrow, but, see,

-we need it for our
Friend-aversary dinner.
-Yeah.

-Friend-aversary? [chuckles]
-Mm-hmm.

That sounds ridiculous.
[laughs]

Well, what are you using it for?

Caturday Night Fever,

a disco-themed dance party
for cats.

Great. And I can assume
none of you gals are married?

This is kind of "Kevin's thing,"

so you're gonna
have to ask Kevin.

Well, who the hell is Kevin?

So, uh...

what's up, Kevin?

No, no, no, no, no.
Face-to-face.

[groans]:
Oh, man.

Uh...

Hey, there, uh... Kevin.

You're looking good.

Your fur is on point.

What, you been
hitting the salmon?

[chuckles] Listen,

uh, it'd really be great
if you could

let us have the patio tomorrow,

so I can party with my friends.

Are we waiting for him
to answer or...?

Oh, Kevin says

he wants a kiss
to seal the deal.

I ain't kissing
no damn cat, man.

Kiss the cat, Hank.

JUDY:
[gasps] Oh. Oh.

The patio is yours, gentlemen.

-Hot damn!
-You're the man, Kevin.

All right.

And now Kevin wants
a kiss from mommy.

Let's get the hell out of here.

-Oh...
-WOMAN: Close the door.

-Hey, Sid.
-Hey, Sid, great news.

-Friend-aversary is on.
-Yeah.

Friend-aversary is off!

What are you talking about?I just kissed a tuna-breath cat.

I got whiskers in my teeth.

Well, Margaret told me
everything. [scoffs]

I was your second choice
to sit at the table?

Oh, Sid, it is no big deal.

Just because we asked Dudley
before you...

What?!

You went to Dudley before me?!

-What is happening right now?
-CHARLIE: Oh, Sid,

take it easy, okay?
You're gonna faint.

Oh, you would love that,
wouldn't you?

Well, I'm not gonna give you
the... satisfaction.

[thud]

Well, Margaret,
you got what you wanted.

You ruined Friend-aversary.

What holiday
you gonna ruin next?

What, you gonna boil
the Easter Bunny?

You gonna kick Santa
in the sack?

Are you actually
gonna blame this on me

for telling Sid about the lie
that you told him

two years ago that you didn't
tell me not to tell him

that I didn't know was a lie
that he didn't know?

She's trying
to confuse us, Hank.

Stand your ground.

You know, lost in all of this
is the fact

that I had to kiss a cat.

For nothing.
Because of you.

I want to know who you gonna
kiss to make this right?

'Cause it ain't gonna be me.

Sorry, I am not interested.

'Sup, y'all?

I'm just here
to set up for the party.

HANK:
Wait.

Friend-aversary is on?

You want me to go bring
the, uh, 3 Musketeerses?

Oh, I'm not setting up
for Friend-aversary.

I'm setting up
for Caturday Night Fever.

So once you get those
3 Musketeerseses,

why don't you feed 'em
to your butt?

And, Margaret, would you like
to be my plus-one?

Oh, Sid, that sounds great,
because you know how much

I love being invited to stuff.

So you just gonna ditch us
to hang out

with a bunch of cat ladies?

Meow, meow, bitches.

[disco music playing]

[chuckles]

How fun is this?

Yeah, I'm actually starting
to have a pretty good...

Oh, this sucks, Sid.

I mean, I know we're trying
to prove a point

to Hank and Charlie,
but this is a freak show.

-You don't even like cats.
-I love cats.

I've never been happier,

with the love of these
beautiful little creatures...

-[cat yowls]
-Ow!

Damn you, you dick!

We have so much fun together.

-We don't need Sid.
-Mm-mmm.

We can throw our party
without him.

Although he does handle thedecorations, music and the food,

it's really our
stimulating conversation

that makes our party great.

[sighs]

Yup.

[disco music continues]

Oh, come on, Margaret.

If we're not dancing,
it's gonna look like

we're not having fun
to Hank and Charlie.

-[laughs]
-Oh, Sid,

you don't have to do this.

I mean, is it really
that big of a deal

that you were
their second choice?

Yes, it is.

When I walked up to that table,

I felt butterflies in my tummy,

but to them, I was justsome rando with a phone charger.

I realize now
those guys never felt about me

the way that I felt about them.

My heart is broken, Margaret.

Guys, you really need Sid back,

and he definitely needs you.

He thinks your whole
friendship isn't real

because it started with a lie,

so you need to prove to him
how important he is to you.

Now, before you say no,
I just want you...

BOTH:
We're in.

Well, that was easy.

I got your text.

I'm still not speaking
to you guys,

but on the off chanceBradley Cooper is really here...

...you have my full attention.

Places!

[both grunt]

"In the beginning,

"Charlie and Hank
thought they were happy,

but something was missing."

"Hank, I think I'm happy,

but something is missing."

"Should we let Dudley
sit at our table?"

"That's a stupid idea, Charlie.You stupid."

"But wait a minute.
Look over there."

-"Who."
-"Is."

"That?"

Oh!

[imitating Sid]:
"I am Sidney
Lafayette Delacroix,

and I have nowhere to sit."

"Maybe we should
ask this awesome guy

to sit with us."

"Now, wait a minute.
That depends.

"It's true,
we have a seat at our table,

"but before we ask you
to sit with us,

we have some questions.
Are you funny as hell?"

"Yes."

"Are you a wizard
with a casserole?"

"Yes."

"And is your style
always on point?"

"Oh, friggin' hell yes!"

"Well, then, please,
have a seat."

CHARLIE:
"Oh, no, Hank,

what's that feeling
in my stomach? Bad clams?"

"No, Charlie,
those are butterflies.

Friendship butterflies."

You guys,

you really mean all that?

Sure do.

You know, uh,

something I never told you
about that day, Sid.

When we were charging my phone,

I kept unplugging it

'cause I didn't want you to go.

Yup, Charlie and I
are like two dying phones.

[chuckles]

And whenever our power
gets too low--

-ten percent or below--
-Yeah.

...you charge us up.

You not only
had a charger that day,

you were the charger.

Oh.
This is the sweetest thing

anybody has ever done for me.

And, Margaret,

I didn't think
I'd ever say this,

but in some very odd way,
you're turning me on.

Oh, uh, I'm really proudof the three of you. [chuckles]

Now could I please
take off this stupid wig

and get these three tennis ballsout of my pants?

Uh, well, our play's
not over yet.

-Um, Charlie.
-Oh.

[clears throat]

"'Cause even with
the addition of Sid,

the third piece of the group
still was not complete."

What are you guys talking about?

"Hi, I'm Margaret.

I'm going to sit here,

whether you like it or not."

Aw!

You guys included me.
[laughs]

"On first impression,
I do not like you,

but you will grow on me."

CHARLIE:
"You're going to grow

"on all of us. That's right.

"You're the new chapter
of our story.

We're sorry
we didn't include you."

-[Margaret chuckles]
-"I'm lucky to be
in this amazing group,

considering I'm a huge
pain in the ass."

-Hank wrote the script.
-MARGARET: Yes.

I figured.

The end.

[quiet laughter]

Margaret, this is
your official invite

to the Friend-aversary dinner.

Oh, well, I'll think
about it. I'm in.

-[laughs]
-Can I come, too?

Go hang with the cat ladies,
Dudley.

I wish.
Too much bad blood.

I really ran through
those broads back in 2016.

That's pretty good.

Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH

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