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-(woman vocalizing)
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-(dramatic music playing)
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-They're right on my tail!
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I can't lose 'em!
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-(slow-motion screaming)
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-(rapid beeping)
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-(shattering)
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-Ski you later.
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-Americans know Rob Riggle as the star of the action-packed
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and very noisy "Ski Master" franchise,
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but with his Ski Master Academy enveloped in scandal,
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fans are left wondering,
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"Can he Riggle out of this one?"
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-Oh, please.
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I'm getting killed in the press, murdered online,
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and last night I was strangled in my sex dream.
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-(Gary scoffs) Oh, dude, me too. Right?
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There was this girl. She had, like--
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-No. No. Please, Gary, listen, all right?
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You're my manager... -Yeah.
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-...my agent, my brother-in-law... -Yeah. Uh-huh.
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-...and my sex addiction sponsor.
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-Still? -Yes.
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I need your help, man, please!
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-You got it. -All right.
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-With what?
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-The cadets, man, the academy!
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-All right, whenever I'm in trouble,
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the first thing I do is get rid of the cocaine.
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-Of course I got rid of the cocaine.
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-And there wasn't anything missing, right?
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-Huh? -Like, you didn't notice
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that there was less than you thought?
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-I mean, I don't weigh it, but--
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-And you should never weigh it, 'cause that's paranoid.
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No one's stealing from you.
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-All right. So, what should I do, man?
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-Well, how about a press conference?
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-Okay. -Yes.
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-Yes. That's a good idea.
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That's what I'm talkin' about. Gary, come on.
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-We gotta show people the real Riggle.
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-Yes. When? When do you wanna do this?
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-Oh, yeah. I totally forgot. Right now.
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-What? -Yeah. I invited them already.
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Those... -Rob: Oh!
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-(indistinct shouting) -Oh!
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I gotta change.
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-Hey.
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-♪ Now, now is the time ♪
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♪ The lake is the place ♪
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♪ To make some stuff explode ♪
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♪ And throw it all in their face ♪
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♪ So don't be a tool ♪
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♪ It's the ski master rule ♪
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♪ It's really great to be at ♪
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♪ Ski Master Academy ♪
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♪ Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy ♪
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♪ Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy ♪
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-(screaming)
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-♪ We will kick your ass ♪
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-Holy shit!
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When I think of this academy,
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when I think of our mission,
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it's always been the same,
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celebrating America
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through personal watercraft education.
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I believe that inside every single one of us,
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there's a ski master.
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-(Gary applauding) Oh, yeah. That was great.
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All right, people. Well, I think that, uh, sums it all up,
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unless there's any more questions.
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-(overlapping chatter) -Shit.
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-Man: Uh, how did you avoid bankruptcy?
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-Woman: What is the body count now?
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-Man: What's your relationship with Gary?
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-Man: Can you defend your academy
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after all that's happened?
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-Did you kill those people?
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-All right, listen up, nerds.
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I'll tell you the whole story, all right?
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-(rock music playing)
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-(inaudible)
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-Well, Dirk, how are we lookin'?
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First day of the new semester, huh?
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-Things are lookin' pretty good.
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-You know, people said I was crazy
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when I opened this place.
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Some people still say that.
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People can be dicks, but we'll show 'em.
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-Yeah. You know, I wanted to thank you again.
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After "Ski Masters" ended,
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I was in a dark place.
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Lots of painkillers. I gained a lot of weight. Ah.
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-Ah, you can't tell.
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-You know, people still say I look just like you
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from a distance.
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-(laughs)
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Wait. Do they?
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-I guess what I'm trying to say is, uh,
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thanks for lettin' me be the commandant of the academy.
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-Ah, hey, listen.
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Don't mention it, buddy.
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I figure it's the least I can do.
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After 10 years of doing my stunts
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and letting me take the credit,
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you deserve a dream job.
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(chuckles) -(firework whistling)
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-Who's that? What's that?
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-Oh, yeah.
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Preggers!
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Booyah, Preggers.
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-Hey! -(laughs)
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Hey, I want you to meet Dirk.
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Dirk here runs the show.
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Dirk, this is Preggers.
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-Oh, when are you due?
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-No, I ain't pregnant.
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I'm just named after my mama.
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-Hey, Preggers and I came up
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with a great idea for a new course.
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It's called Lake and Ski Culture.
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-That's right.
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We're just gonna spend the first day
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shootin' off bottle rockets
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at boogie boarders, you know what I mean,
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and probably just doin' some prison tats.
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-Okay. Okay. Uh, usually I set the curriculum, so, uh--
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-Well, now you don't have to worry about it. Huh?
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Come on, big guy. (laughing)
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You're welcome.
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-Heya, Rob. -Hey!
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-Hey. How you doing? -Dirk.
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-Good, good. -Oh, shit. Isn't that that dude
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that's in that movie that that girl...
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Like, what is her name? I don't like her.
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-Uh, yeah. Hi. I'm Dermot Mulroney.
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-He's our ski stunt instructor.
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Apparently, havin' a A-list celebrity
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has tripled our enrollment.
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-Hey, I heard you picked up
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a brand new fleet of super skis this year.
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-(laughs) You better believe I did.
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The academy has a credit card.
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Yeah. You can get whatever you want.
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I got skis. I got a horse.
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Come on, I'll show you. -Swipe that.
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-No.
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-Oh.
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-Uh, should you be smoking that next to those fireworks?
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-We're gonna have a problem, dawg?
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-(sighs heavily)
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-That's right.
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Comin' at ya! How we doin'? Great backpack.
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-Brit: Dad?
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-Hey, Brit Brit.
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Hey, shouldn't you be working on that on-land obstacle course?
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-No.
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I shouldn't be building a goddamn playground.
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I should be prepping a stunt course out in the water
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that'll grow these punks' pubes.
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-Well, they're all over 18.
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-Look, I've been riding these thunder-powered lake lickers
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since I was five years old,
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as horrible as that was, parenting-wise.
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Ground rules and training courses
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are beneath me, and you know it, Dad.
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-Listen.
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I've done some of the most incredible, mind-bending,
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awesome stunts ever seen by man,
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but I did 'em so you don't have to.
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Stunts are dangerous.
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I should know.
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-Yeah. Whoo! Jet skis are fun!
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Whoa! Ha! Yeah!
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-Besides, we have Dermot.
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Dermot will teach the stunts.
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You'll teach the safety,
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Sea-Doo wake regulations.
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Don't eat on skis. Uh... -Dermot: Hey, Rob!
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Hey, Rob, you gotta check it out!
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-This is kids' stuff, Dad.
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Why would anybody be eating on a ski anyways?
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-Dermot: All right, yeah! Listen to that baby purr.
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-Hey, safety can be badass, too.
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-What kind of fresh hell is this?
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-Oh, yeah.
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That's the new canoe camp.
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-Canoes?
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I hate canoes.
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They're just slow, floaty logs
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with a dipshit-sized hole cut in the middle.
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What kinda sick bastard opens a canoe camp?
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-Some Hall of Fame linebacker
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who played for the Chicago Bears from 2000 to 2012.
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-Oh, no.
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You mean...
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Brian Urlacher.
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Ha! As I live and breathe.
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What, uh...
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What brings you to this neck of the woods?
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-When I found out my new camp
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was across from Rob Riggle's Ski Master Academy,
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I just had to come say hi.
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-What's it been, um, a year?
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-I think like two or three. You look healthy, Rob.
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How you doin'?
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-Well, uh, no complaints, I guess.
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Um, how are you doing?
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-Oh, fantastic.
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-Great. Great.
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-Well, just wanted to come say ahoy.
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Please stop by the camp any time. We've got muffins.
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-(laughs) I bet you do. Oh, yeah.
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-Bye-bye. -Absolutely. Absolutely.
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God, I can't believe that guy!
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-Yeah. I mean, he's a doll, and he's kinda cute.
218
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He's got that sweet ass.
219
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-What? No.
220
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Bullshit! What are you...
221
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He just big-timed me.
222
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He does this every time I see him.
223
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He acts like he doesn't remember takin' a piss next to me
224
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at the ESPYS one year ago, one.
225
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-Now, do you think that when he said you looked healthy,
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he was calling you fat?
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-Well, now I do!
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-Hmm. -God! He got me again!
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-Well... -Let me tell you somethin'.
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There is no way I am gonna share the lake with that man.
231
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-Cool.
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-One way or another,
233
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Brian Urlacher and his shit-eating grin
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are gonna be outta my life.
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-Yeah. -(laughs) Yeah.
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-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yes.
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Wait. -What?
238
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-I didn't mean murder. That's...
239
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It sounded murdery, but I didn't mean murder.
240
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-How does someone get out of your life, then?
241
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-I just want him to move away.
242
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-To a shallow grave.
243
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-Not any grave, just stop saying death.
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Don't even think about death.
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-(dramatic music playing)
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-(whistle blowing)
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-All right. Let's see some hustle out there.
248
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Remember, the tires are waves.
249
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The poles are buoys, and this thing is...
250
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I don't know, piranhas.
251
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Let's pick it up, Todd.
252
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-First off, my name's not Todd.
253
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It's, uh, Big Pound.
254
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That's what everyone here calls me.
255
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-Actually, they don't. -Yeah, they do.
256
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When do we get to ride some actual crotch-soakers, Mama?
257
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I didn't sign up to jump out of tires and shit.
258
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-It's attitudes like Todd's here
259
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that make it dangerous for everyone else,
260
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and it is that danger that makes overprotective fathers
261
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try to block your goddamn dreams!
262
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Hypothetically.
263
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-Can you shred out there?
264
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Why don't you show us?
265
00:09:47,220 --> 00:09:49,120
-Oh, I wish I could.
266
00:09:50,060 --> 00:09:51,230
But first... (scoffs)
267
00:09:52,120 --> 00:09:54,190
I have to teach you all not to eat and ski.
268
00:09:55,110 --> 00:09:57,010
-What's wrong with ski-eating?
269
00:09:57,090 --> 00:10:00,020
-(Jeb breathing heavily)
270
00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,030
-Pardon me.
271
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,100
When do we address the vehicle's sinful nature?
272
00:10:04,180 --> 00:10:05,210
-I thought the pope just declared
273
00:10:05,220 --> 00:10:07,020
that jet skis weren't a sin.
274
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:09,090
-No, that's true, but I'm a Levitical scientist.
275
00:10:09,100 --> 00:10:10,170
We believe everything is a sin,
276
00:10:10,180 --> 00:10:12,180
but when we turn 25,
277
00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:14,140
we must learn a water sport,
278
00:10:14,150 --> 00:10:16,130
for that sin is the greatest pleasure
279
00:10:16,140 --> 00:10:17,140
one can be tempted with.
280
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,050
-You're a weird guy, Jeb.
281
00:10:19,060 --> 00:10:20,230
Okay. Okay.
282
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,020
Final lesson.
283
00:10:22,190 --> 00:10:24,210
No matter what Preggers offers you,
284
00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:26,060
do not ingest it.
285
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,100
Uh, class dismissed.
286
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:29,120
-(whistle blowing)
287
00:10:29,130 --> 00:10:31,010
-Dermot: Oh, hey, Dirk. -Dirk: Hey.
288
00:10:31,050 --> 00:10:32,160
-What? -Got you a gift.
289
00:10:32,180 --> 00:10:34,020
Uh, it's a sandwich maker.
290
00:10:34,030 --> 00:10:35,180
-Wow! Sandwich maker. -(laughing)
291
00:10:35,190 --> 00:10:37,050
-I love sandwiches! -Oh, good.
292
00:10:37,060 --> 00:10:38,130
-Dermot: Yeah! -Dirk: I'm so happy.
293
00:10:38,140 --> 00:10:40,140
-Dermot: I eat 'em, like, twice a day.
294
00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:41,200
-Dirk: Really? -With meat in 'em.
295
00:10:41,210 --> 00:10:42,210
-Aw!
296
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:45,210
-Lake and ski culture is a delicate balance
297
00:10:45,220 --> 00:10:48,140
between keepin' it 100, 24/7,
298
00:10:48,150 --> 00:10:52,040
while simultaneously bullshittin' everyone around you
299
00:10:52,050 --> 00:10:53,120
to get free stuff.
300
00:10:53,130 --> 00:10:57,130
Anyone who critiques that behavior is a hater.
301
00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,210
Okay?
302
00:10:59,100 --> 00:11:01,160
Now, most importantly,
303
00:11:01,170 --> 00:11:03,090
if you are a cop,
304
00:11:03,140 --> 00:11:04,230
I just need to know right now.
305
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,070
Let's just put it all out on the table, okay?
306
00:11:10,070 --> 00:11:12,100
I'm not lookin' at anyone in particular.
307
00:11:12,110 --> 00:11:13,200
I just want to know.
308
00:11:17,050 --> 00:11:18,050
-No.
309
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:21,000
-(howling) -(hooting)
310
00:11:21,030 --> 00:11:23,110
-(eerie music playing)
311
00:11:24,130 --> 00:11:28,050
-(woman laughing in distance)
312
00:11:29,230 --> 00:11:31,180
(woman laughing menacingly)
313
00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:38,230
-Hey.
314
00:11:39,100 --> 00:11:40,160
Hey, did you guys hear that?
315
00:11:42,090 --> 00:11:44,050
-Hey. Can you quiet down?
316
00:11:44,060 --> 00:11:45,110
I'm tryin' to sex dream.
317
00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:53,030
-Woman: Ooh!
318
00:11:54,020 --> 00:11:56,130
-(woman laughing menacingly)
319
00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,090
-(engine revving) -(laughing menacingly)
320
00:12:02,180 --> 00:12:04,000
(laughing menacingly)
321
00:12:04,010 --> 00:12:06,020
(coughing)
322
00:12:06,030 --> 00:12:08,030
(laughing menacingly)
323
00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:09,040
-(exclaims)
324
00:12:09,050 --> 00:12:10,110
-The Phantom Rider.
325
00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:11,150
-Who are you?
326
00:12:11,170 --> 00:12:12,210
-My name's Gil,
327
00:12:12,230 --> 00:12:14,210
watercraft mechanic, groundskeeper,
328
00:12:14,220 --> 00:12:17,040
lake hermit, and all-around character.
329
00:12:17,070 --> 00:12:18,100
-I'm Chauncey,
330
00:12:18,180 --> 00:12:20,120
the academy's fanciest cadet.
331
00:12:20,130 --> 00:12:22,040
-Well, stick around, little one.
332
00:12:22,100 --> 00:12:24,100
I've got a story worth hearing.
333
00:12:24,130 --> 00:12:26,020
-Mm, I don't know, sir.
334
00:12:26,030 --> 00:12:27,170
You're throwin' me quite a few red flags.
335
00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:30,120
-The year was 1989.
336
00:12:30,200 --> 00:12:33,000
The Fine Young Cannibals ruled MTV.
337
00:12:33,010 --> 00:12:35,120
Michael Dukakis had just broken my heart.
338
00:12:36,030 --> 00:12:38,110
This lake was a one-stop shop
339
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:42,080
for partyin', bonfire hand jobs, and lake DUIs.
340
00:12:42,090 --> 00:12:45,140
But on a night not unlike this one,
341
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,160
a beautiful young bride
342
00:12:47,170 --> 00:12:50,030
went for a sunset ride and died
343
00:12:50,050 --> 00:12:51,140
in a tragic accident
344
00:12:51,150 --> 00:12:53,010
that was no one's fault.
345
00:12:54,010 --> 00:12:56,000
Now her ghost
346
00:12:56,100 --> 00:13:00,110
is condemned to ski the lake every night,
347
00:13:00,120 --> 00:13:04,090
haunting light sleepers in the wee hours.
348
00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:06,120
-But there has to be a way we can break the spell.
349
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:07,180
What if we get the killer to repent?
350
00:13:07,190 --> 00:13:09,210
-What part of "no one's fault"
351
00:13:09,220 --> 00:13:11,160
don't you understand?
352
00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:15,160
Besides, this killer was condemned
353
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:17,060
to a fate worse than hell.
354
00:13:17,070 --> 00:13:20,210
His ski license was revoked for eternity.
355
00:13:21,170 --> 00:13:23,150
-It was you. You killed her.
356
00:13:24,020 --> 00:13:25,110
I mean, I don't mean to offend,
357
00:13:25,190 --> 00:13:28,000
but you got a real manslaughter vibe about you.
358
00:13:28,010 --> 00:13:29,110
-Oh, well, look at the time.
359
00:13:29,120 --> 00:13:31,210
I gotta get back to my shack and my tinkerin'.
360
00:13:33,220 --> 00:13:36,130
Get some rest as best you can.
361
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,200
It isn't easy sleeping through her screams!
362
00:13:41,020 --> 00:13:42,070
But it's doable.
363
00:13:43,130 --> 00:13:44,140
Ahh.
364
00:13:45,190 --> 00:13:47,140
-(Phantom Rider laughing menacingly)
365
00:13:49,220 --> 00:13:51,050
-Mr. Lake Commissioner,
366
00:13:51,100 --> 00:13:53,150
I would like to file a formal lake complaint
367
00:13:53,160 --> 00:13:55,030
against Brian Urlacher.
368
00:13:55,050 --> 00:13:56,080
-Oh, what a coincidence.
369
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:57,120
I got him right here.
370
00:13:57,230 --> 00:13:59,160
-Hey, Rob. -Oh, God!
371
00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:01,090
-Yeah, Mr. Urlacher was just in here
372
00:14:01,100 --> 00:14:05,190
asking me if I could help him organize a charity canoe event
373
00:14:05,200 --> 00:14:07,160
for something weird. What was it?
374
00:14:07,170 --> 00:14:09,020
-At-risk teens.
375
00:14:09,030 --> 00:14:10,090
-Yeah. At-risk teens.
376
00:14:10,170 --> 00:14:11,230
They're the worst. -The worst.
377
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,190
-Anyways, what's your problem with him, Rob?
378
00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:16,120
-Um, I didn't think I'd be filing the complaint
379
00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:17,190
in front of him.
380
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,210
-Rob, please.
381
00:14:18,220 --> 00:14:20,100
If I've offended you in any way
382
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,210
or made you feel uncomfortable at all,
383
00:14:22,010 --> 00:14:23,070
I completely support you
384
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,120
going through the proper channels.
385
00:14:24,130 --> 00:14:26,050
-This is the classic Urlacher bullshit
386
00:14:26,060 --> 00:14:28,000
I'm talking about, all right?
387
00:14:28,060 --> 00:14:31,000
Look, I'm just gonna bottom-line it for everybody.
388
00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,150
There's not enough room on this lake for the both of us.
389
00:14:34,070 --> 00:14:37,010
Besides him crowding the lake with his tacky canoes,
390
00:14:37,030 --> 00:14:41,210
this lunatic has been harassing me and my academy.
391
00:14:41,220 --> 00:14:43,020
-(sniffles)
392
00:14:43,030 --> 00:14:44,090
-Commish...
393
00:14:45,150 --> 00:14:47,010
have you ever been big-timed?
394
00:14:48,060 --> 00:14:49,180
-Oh, yeah. -Rob--
395
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,200
-(groans) -Give us a chance.
396
00:14:52,080 --> 00:14:53,210
Why don't you come by the canoe camp?
397
00:14:53,220 --> 00:14:55,150
-Uh, why don't I put a gun in my mouth
398
00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,050
and blow my fuckin' head off?
399
00:14:57,060 --> 00:15:00,200
-Come on. We're gonna have some wine, some cheese.
400
00:15:00,210 --> 00:15:03,070
My wife just picked up a beautiful Camembert.
401
00:15:03,080 --> 00:15:04,230
-Oh-oh! Okay.
402
00:15:05,010 --> 00:15:06,160
It's Cama-bert, all right?
403
00:15:06,170 --> 00:15:08,000
There's a "T" at the end. -Camembert.
404
00:15:08,010 --> 00:15:09,120
-It's bert. -Ber.
405
00:15:09,130 --> 00:15:10,210
-"T" at the end.
406
00:15:11,030 --> 00:15:12,130
"T" makes a "T" sound. -Ber.
407
00:15:12,220 --> 00:15:14,010
Ber. -"T."
408
00:15:14,020 --> 00:15:15,030
-Okay, guys, enough.
409
00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:16,100
We need some sort of detente.
410
00:15:17,110 --> 00:15:20,100
Look, I have the perfect solution,
411
00:15:21,200 --> 00:15:23,060
or at least one that's fast and easy.
412
00:15:23,070 --> 00:15:25,010
-(hammering)
413
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,130
-See? Compromise.
414
00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:29,070
One side is for the canoe camp,
415
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,180
and the other side is for Riggle's Ski Academy,
416
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,010
and that's why I make 26K a year.
417
00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:36,000
-(bird screeching)
418
00:15:36,010 --> 00:15:38,070
-What do you mean, you won?
419
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,230
-What do you mean, what do I mean, I won?
420
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,020
I won!
421
00:15:42,030 --> 00:15:44,050
The lake commissioner split the lake in half.
422
00:15:44,070 --> 00:15:46,020
We get half, and Urlacher gets half.
423
00:15:46,030 --> 00:15:49,090
Now, that dork only has half a lake
424
00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:51,150
to dork around on his stupid logs.
425
00:15:51,160 --> 00:15:53,000
-Yeah, but so do we.
426
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:56,160
Rob, we advertise access to a full lake.
427
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:59,220
Now we have to cut the cadet lake use fees in half.
428
00:15:59,230 --> 00:16:01,160
-No, Dirk. I won.
429
00:16:02,140 --> 00:16:04,040
Why can't you just be happy for me?
430
00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:06,080
-Okay, Rob. You won.
431
00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:09,000
-(laughing) Yeah, I did. (laughs)
432
00:16:09,010 --> 00:16:11,010
Ski you later.
433
00:16:13,070 --> 00:16:15,050
Oh, my God.
434
00:16:16,070 --> 00:16:18,150
Urlacher tricked me into givin' away half my lake.
435
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:21,100
God!
436
00:16:23,170 --> 00:16:26,050
This isn't over, you son of a bitch.
437
00:16:27,180 --> 00:16:29,130
-(Phantom Rider laughing menacingly)
438
00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:32,080
-Groundskeeper. Groundskeeper.
439
00:16:32,090 --> 00:16:33,220
-(cat yowls) -(Gil groans)
440
00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:35,170
-What?
441
00:16:35,180 --> 00:16:37,120
It's the middle of the night.
442
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,010
-I haven't slept in three days.
443
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,090
Please, Mr. Groundskeeper, you have to apologize
444
00:16:41,100 --> 00:16:42,200
for killing the phantom lake skier
445
00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,230
so she'll shut up and stop haunting the lake.
446
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,210
-All right. Let me get my pants on.
447
00:16:46,220 --> 00:16:48,120
-No. No time for pants.
448
00:16:48,130 --> 00:16:50,020
How do you live in this thing?
449
00:16:50,070 --> 00:16:51,130
-Rent-free.
450
00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:53,150
-(laughing menacingly)
451
00:16:54,060 --> 00:16:55,220
-Okay. We're really gonna do this?
452
00:16:55,230 --> 00:16:57,000
-Yes. You're gonna do it
453
00:16:57,010 --> 00:16:58,190
so I can please get some sleep.
454
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:00,070
-Okay. -(laughing)
455
00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:03,000
-All right. She's here. Do your thing.
456
00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:05,060
-Well, well, well.
457
00:17:05,070 --> 00:17:07,100
I wondered when my cries
458
00:17:07,110 --> 00:17:09,200
would drive my killer back here,
459
00:17:10,140 --> 00:17:12,070
begging forgiveness.
460
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,190
-Ugh. I have to beg, really?
461
00:17:15,140 --> 00:17:17,050
-Or just a standard apology.
462
00:17:17,060 --> 00:17:18,090
-Okay, fine.
463
00:17:19,010 --> 00:17:20,220
I'm sorry I mowed you down.
464
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:24,170
I was lit up on wine coolers. It was a different time.
465
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:26,150
No one knew how potent they were.
466
00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:29,020
I'm really sorry for any harm that I did,
467
00:17:29,030 --> 00:17:30,190
and I'm responsible for my actions.
468
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:34,100
-Then after 30 years,
469
00:17:34,180 --> 00:17:36,160
I can finally now rest.
470
00:17:37,060 --> 00:17:39,050
You sincerely apologized
471
00:17:39,140 --> 00:17:41,140
and agreed to give up the drink.
472
00:17:41,150 --> 00:17:43,000
-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa. Whoa.
473
00:17:43,010 --> 00:17:45,070
You got the apology. I'm not gonna quit drinkin'.
474
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,170
Drinkin's my favorite.
475
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:50,020
-Well, this was a complete waste of time, wasn't it?
476
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:56,040
For your sins, I will haunt this lake forever!
477
00:17:56,050 --> 00:17:57,180
(laughing menacingly)
478
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,050
Later, dipshits!
479
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,140
-Well...
480
00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:04,090
Mmm.
481
00:18:04,100 --> 00:18:05,200
I tried.
482
00:18:05,210 --> 00:18:07,030
-But you didn't.
483
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,080
-Brit: Hey, Dermot Mulroney.
484
00:18:11,100 --> 00:18:13,010
-Hey, Brit Brit.
485
00:18:13,110 --> 00:18:15,010
-Has my dad mentioned anything to you
486
00:18:15,020 --> 00:18:17,040
about me wanting to teach ski stunts?
487
00:18:17,050 --> 00:18:19,050
-No. He never really talks about you.
488
00:18:19,130 --> 00:18:20,200
The only reason I know he's your dad
489
00:18:20,210 --> 00:18:22,150
is 'cause, uh, Gil told me.
490
00:18:23,040 --> 00:18:25,110
-Great. Well, here's the thing. Um...
491
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,030
I've actually been riding since I was five.
492
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,040
-Wow. That's awesome.
493
00:18:30,050 --> 00:18:31,190
-If I show you my stuff out there,
494
00:18:32,110 --> 00:18:34,200
maybe you could put in a good word for me with my dad,
495
00:18:34,230 --> 00:18:36,170
and then I won't have to teach safety.
496
00:18:36,230 --> 00:18:38,120
-Safety's overrated, Brit,
497
00:18:38,130 --> 00:18:41,120
but I don't think you need to seek your dad's approval.
498
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,140
This whole lifestyle
499
00:18:43,150 --> 00:18:45,200
is about not caring what other people think,
500
00:18:46,180 --> 00:18:49,110
so just try to find the balance
501
00:18:49,120 --> 00:18:52,050
between following in your dad's footsteps
502
00:18:52,060 --> 00:18:53,230
and forging your own path.
503
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:57,060
Find the balance between caution and freedom,
504
00:18:58,060 --> 00:19:01,000
the balance between staying on your water stallion, and...
505
00:19:02,090 --> 00:19:03,160
falling off.
506
00:19:03,170 --> 00:19:05,030
-Balance.
507
00:19:06,040 --> 00:19:07,090
-Yeah.
508
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,080
-You know, Dermot Mulroney,
509
00:19:10,100 --> 00:19:12,150
you're not such a dumb celebrity gimmick after all.
510
00:19:13,130 --> 00:19:14,220
-Thanks, Brit Brit.
511
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,070
Hoagie time.
512
00:19:17,230 --> 00:19:19,080
Meatball sub.
513
00:19:19,180 --> 00:19:22,000
Think I'm gonna have lunch out on the waves.
514
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:25,170
Catch you out there, Brit Brit.
515
00:19:25,180 --> 00:19:27,160
-Are you sure you wanna eat and ski?
516
00:19:28,020 --> 00:19:31,020
-Yeah, yeah. No problem. No problem at all.
517
00:19:31,030 --> 00:19:33,040
-(inspirational music playing)
518
00:19:36,230 --> 00:19:38,060
-Yeah, looks like it's gonna be
519
00:19:38,070 --> 00:19:40,130
one hell of a summer for both of us.
520
00:19:42,220 --> 00:19:44,210
In fact, the chances are--
521
00:19:45,060 --> 00:19:46,100
(muttering)
522
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:47,160
(coughing)
523
00:19:48,010 --> 00:19:49,010
(coughing)
524
00:19:51,100 --> 00:19:52,220
(gagging)
525
00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:56,160
-(engine idling)
526
00:19:57,110 --> 00:20:00,000
-Oh, my God. Dermot Mulroney is dead!
527
00:20:00,010 --> 00:20:02,150
-This is... bullshit!
528
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:04,150
I only signed up for this academy
529
00:20:04,160 --> 00:20:07,080
so that I would be taught by Dermot Mulroney
530
00:20:07,090 --> 00:20:09,030
on a full-sized lake.
531
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,100
Screw this place.
532
00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:12,020
-Rob: Hold on! Hey, hey, hey. Hold on.
533
00:20:12,030 --> 00:20:13,220
Okay. Relax, everybody. Relax.
534
00:20:13,230 --> 00:20:14,230
This isn't a problem.
535
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:16,030
Look, we can fix this, all right?
536
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,160
No one's goin' anywhere, okay?
537
00:20:17,170 --> 00:20:19,110
-Eat shit, Rob Riggle.
538
00:20:19,170 --> 00:20:22,080
You know what? I'm gonna go try canoes.
539
00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:24,030
-No. No. Don't say that. -Woman: Yeah, let's go.
540
00:20:24,070 --> 00:20:26,150
-Hey, don't. Come back. No! -Man: I'm outta here.
541
00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:30,010
-Rob, we've just forfeited almost all of our tuition.
542
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:31,210
We could lose the academy.
543
00:20:31,220 --> 00:20:36,040
That means I have to go back to stunts, pills, and pie.
544
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:38,010
-On the bright side, though,
545
00:20:38,190 --> 00:20:42,000
this is an opportunity for me to take over stunt class.
546
00:20:42,010 --> 00:20:45,060
-Brit Brit, it's only been a minute.
547
00:20:45,070 --> 00:20:47,200
-Seriously, that is messed up. -Ugh.
548
00:20:47,210 --> 00:20:49,220
-I mean, technically, we could still save him.
549
00:20:49,230 --> 00:20:51,130
-(engine revving)
550
00:20:55,010 --> 00:20:56,000
-Well, not now.
551
00:20:56,070 --> 00:20:58,060
-This tragedy does teach us that
552
00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,200
it is important that you teach those safety courses.
553
00:21:00,210 --> 00:21:02,030
-Why am I being punished
554
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:04,030
because Dermot Mulroney is an idiot?
555
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:05,080
-Was.
556
00:21:05,090 --> 00:21:07,050
-Was an idiot.
557
00:21:07,090 --> 00:21:08,080
-(jet ski explodes)
558
00:21:09,090 --> 00:21:11,080
-(howling)
559
00:21:22,070 --> 00:21:24,130
-(hooting)
560
00:21:27,160 --> 00:21:30,030
-Hey, you're not ridin' the lake tonight. What gives?
561
00:21:30,210 --> 00:21:32,080
-You know, I just...
562
00:21:32,090 --> 00:21:34,030
I think I'm gonna put haunting on the back burner
563
00:21:34,040 --> 00:21:35,100
for a little while.
564
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,210
(moaning)
565
00:21:37,220 --> 00:21:39,190
Oh. Oh, yeah. That's the spot.
566
00:21:39,220 --> 00:21:42,050
-What's going on? Who's in there?
567
00:21:42,060 --> 00:21:44,010
-(slow ambient music playing)
568
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:48,050
-Hi, Gil. -Nice.
569
00:21:50,140 --> 00:21:51,200
Got room for a third?
570
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:53,050
-(Phantom Rider chuckles)
571
00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:55,060
-(roaring)
572
00:21:55,070 --> 00:21:57,060
-Man: Right on time.
39653
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