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1
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:13,247
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:14,115 --> 00:00:16,050
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,117 --> 00:00:19,320
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,387 --> 00:00:23,624
* Like you need
some kind of change
5
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,228
* No matter what the odds
are this time
6
00:00:27,295 --> 00:00:29,730
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
7
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:33,234
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
8
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:37,438
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:38,272 --> 00:00:41,242
* Standing tall
10
00:00:41,309 --> 00:00:45,045
* On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:45,113 --> 00:00:47,981
* Rise and fall
12
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:51,685
* On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:51,752 --> 00:00:53,387
* Through rain and thunder
14
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,123
* The wind and haze
15
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:58,426
* I'm bound for better days
16
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,729
* It's my life and my dream
17
00:01:01,795 --> 00:01:06,167
* And nothing's gonna
stop me now *
18
00:01:23,717 --> 00:01:25,052
Okay, whose idea was it
19
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:27,121
to go to the zoo
in the middle of winter?
20
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:33,327
What a great day for the zoo.
21
00:01:35,196 --> 00:01:37,298
Balki, take off
the elephant nose.
22
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,101
It was embarrassing enough
at the restaurant.
23
00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:44,805
Oh, come on, cousin.
Lighten up.
24
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,308
Why you don't put on
your alligator nose?
25
00:01:48,809 --> 00:01:50,844
The nose goes on, I go out.
26
00:01:55,082 --> 00:01:56,550
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
27
00:01:59,220 --> 00:02:01,489
Balk-eye Bartookamouse?
28
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:07,094
I'm Balk-eye.
29
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,796
Could you please
sign your name?
30
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:18,706
With a pen.
31
00:02:30,384 --> 00:02:31,852
There you go.
32
00:02:32,853 --> 00:02:34,154
Thank you.
33
00:02:35,223 --> 00:02:36,890
What is it, Balki?
34
00:02:39,693 --> 00:02:40,828
No kidding.
35
00:02:43,030 --> 00:02:44,498
(BALKI GASPS)
36
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:51,339
Oh, what, did
the village idiot die
37
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:52,840
and they sent you his hat?
38
00:02:57,445 --> 00:02:59,513
Cousin, show some respect.
39
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,417
This is the headpiece worn
40
00:03:03,484 --> 00:03:06,053
by the official negotiator
on Mypos.
41
00:03:06,119 --> 00:03:09,257
No negotiating can take
place without this hat.
42
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:12,526
We call it The Hat
Of A Thousand Quibbles.
43
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,396
Well, it's beautiful.
44
00:03:15,463 --> 00:03:17,398
Does it come with instructions?
45
00:03:18,932 --> 00:03:20,634
Well, there's a letter.
46
00:03:25,306 --> 00:03:27,308
It's from King Ferdinand.
47
00:03:30,244 --> 00:03:37,285
Must be important.
48
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:43,156
"Dear Balki.
49
00:03:43,223 --> 00:03:46,394
"wants to buy
500 acres of land
50
00:03:46,460 --> 00:03:48,696
"on the north shore of Mypos.
51
00:03:50,163 --> 00:03:51,465
"And we want..."
52
00:03:52,933 --> 00:03:55,769
He wants me
to negotiate the sale.
53
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:58,339
And they, they set up
a meeting for tomorrow.
54
00:03:58,406 --> 00:04:01,709
Excuse me. I've got
to start my preparations.
55
00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,279
* Hey, beegy
56
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:10,651
* Yoomba conga neengy
57
00:04:12,119 --> 00:04:16,056
* Kongy fongy, hongi bongi
58
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:20,260
* Icky wicky, oh, yeah
59
00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:25,433
* Hongi bongi
60
00:04:25,499 --> 00:04:26,700
* Hongi bongi
61
00:04:26,767 --> 00:04:27,835
* Hongi bongi
62
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:28,736
* Hongi bongi
63
00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,203
* Hongi bongi, hongi bongi
64
00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:33,641
* Hongi bongi, icky icky
65
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:36,710
* Bong, bong, bong, bong,
bong, oh, yeah *
66
00:04:40,814 --> 00:04:42,416
Well, uh...
67
00:04:42,483 --> 00:04:44,752
We'll just
get out of your way.
68
00:04:50,491 --> 00:04:52,025
Bye, Balki.
69
00:04:52,092 --> 00:04:53,627
Bye, Mary Anne.
70
00:04:55,062 --> 00:04:56,229
Goodnight.
71
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,631
Bye, Larry.
72
00:04:58,131 --> 00:04:59,433
Goodnight.
73
00:05:04,271 --> 00:05:05,639
Goodnight.
74
00:05:09,209 --> 00:05:11,144
Balki.
Yes.
75
00:05:11,211 --> 00:05:12,580
What are you doing?
76
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,949
I'm doing the Hongi Bongi.
77
00:05:18,719 --> 00:05:22,055
It's the, the ritual
of purification.
78
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:24,592
I must be worthy
to wear the hat.
79
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:27,928
Also, it makes my negotiating
hormones kick in.
80
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,566
* Hey, beegy
81
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:36,303
* Yoomba conga neengy
82
00:05:36,370 --> 00:05:39,306
* Kongy fongy, hongi bongi
83
00:05:39,373 --> 00:05:42,976
* Icky wicky, oh ,yeah
84
00:05:44,578 --> 00:05:46,614
* Hongi bongi, hongi bongi
85
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:48,782
* Hongi bongi, hongi bongi
86
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,183
* Hongi bongi, hongi bongi
87
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,721
* Hongi bongi icky icky
88
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:56,824
* Bong, bong, bong, bong,
bong oh, yeah *
89
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:03,063
Balki, can I ask a question?
Sure.
90
00:06:03,130 --> 00:06:07,601
When you negotiate on Mypos
what exactly is your goal?
91
00:06:09,703 --> 00:06:12,072
Well, our goal
is for each side
92
00:06:12,139 --> 00:06:13,541
to agree on a fair price
93
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:15,743
and then party till we drop.
94
00:06:18,278 --> 00:06:20,514
* Hey beegy... *
95
00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:25,218
Balki.
Yes.
96
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,687
But, cousin,
I really have to--
97
00:06:26,754 --> 00:06:30,858
Balki, this is not Mypos.
It's America.
98
00:06:30,924 --> 00:06:32,392
Sit down.
99
00:06:36,664 --> 00:06:38,999
Balki, when Americans negotiate
100
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,134
they don't, they don't care
about a fair price.
101
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:44,237
All they care about is getting
as much as they can
102
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:47,040
for as little as possible.
You see?
103
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:48,576
Now the very first Americans
104
00:06:48,642 --> 00:06:50,911
negotiated a deal
with the Indians.
105
00:06:50,978 --> 00:06:53,180
They gave them $24
worth of beads
106
00:06:53,246 --> 00:06:55,048
for the island of Manhattan.
107
00:06:55,115 --> 00:06:57,585
And now Americans
are making billions of dollars
108
00:06:57,651 --> 00:07:00,087
by selling the same island
to the Japanese.
109
00:07:06,226 --> 00:07:07,661
These beads...
110
00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:16,570
Balki, I think you're going
to have to find someone
111
00:07:16,637 --> 00:07:20,407
to help you with American
negotiating techniques.
112
00:07:20,474 --> 00:07:22,576
You're right.
113
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:26,446
Cousin, would you be
my official
negotiating adviser?
114
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:30,618
There's a ceremony.
115
00:07:31,852 --> 00:07:33,687
I'd rather pass on that.
116
00:07:36,624 --> 00:07:38,759
It's mandatory.
Okay.
117
00:07:38,826 --> 00:07:41,629
Let's get the humiliation
over with.
118
00:07:43,564 --> 00:07:45,533
Cousin Larry Appleton,
119
00:07:45,599 --> 00:07:51,238
you are my official
negotiating adviser.
120
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,513
That's it?
That's it. Got any advice?
121
00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:05,853
(SERENE INSTRUMENTAL
MUSIC PLAYING)
122
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:14,562
Mr. Stanhouse will be
with you shortly.
123
00:08:14,628 --> 00:08:15,829
Thank you.
124
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,611
Cousin, this room
is beautiful.
125
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:31,945
It's even more beautiful
126
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,581
than the room
at the Holiday Inn
127
00:08:33,647 --> 00:08:35,783
where we went
to that Amway meeting.
128
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:38,986
Don't let it throw you.
129
00:08:39,052 --> 00:08:41,521
Yeah, and remember
what I taught you last night.
130
00:08:41,589 --> 00:08:45,192
Never ever accept
their first offer.
131
00:08:45,258 --> 00:08:49,062
Even if they offer you
$50,000, you say...
132
00:08:49,129 --> 00:08:51,331
$50,000? Ha!
133
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:53,533
You must be joking.
134
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,905
Ooh, look at this.
135
00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:03,877
Gentlemen, sorry
to keep you waiting.
136
00:09:03,944 --> 00:09:05,579
I'm J.R. Stanhouse.
137
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,147
Senior executive
ice president
138
00:09:07,214 --> 00:09:08,682
of Worldwide Amalgamated.
139
00:09:08,749 --> 00:09:11,318
In charge of corporate
acquisitions.
140
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:14,755
Larry Appleton,
senior executive
official adviser
141
00:09:14,822 --> 00:09:16,657
to the official
head negotiator
142
00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:18,692
for the sovereign island
nation of Mypos
143
00:09:18,759 --> 00:09:21,228
in charge of a lot
of important stuff.
144
00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:24,564
Very pleased
to meet you,
Mr. Appleton.
145
00:09:24,632 --> 00:09:26,767
And this is
Balki Bartokomous
146
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,136
official negotiator
for Mypos.
147
00:09:29,202 --> 00:09:30,570
Mr. Bartokomous.
148
00:09:37,144 --> 00:09:38,612
Gentlemen, uh,
shall we get started?
149
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,748
Oh, no, no, no.
Not yet.
150
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:42,182
Uh, Cousin Larry and I
151
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,652
have to prepare the room
for the negotiations.
152
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:46,720
Balki, is this really,
really necessary?
153
00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:48,121
Cousin, you agreed.
154
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:51,792
Okay. Ah, just bear
with us for a moment.
155
00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,930
BOTH:
* Hey beegy
156
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:01,468
* Yoomba conga neengy
157
00:10:01,534 --> 00:10:04,838
* Kongy fongy, hongi bongi
158
00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:07,307
* Icky wicky, oh, yeah
159
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,475
* Hongi bongi
160
00:10:08,541 --> 00:10:09,710
* Hongi bongi
161
00:10:09,777 --> 00:10:10,778
* Hongi bongi
162
00:10:10,844 --> 00:10:12,145
* Hongi bongi
163
00:10:12,212 --> 00:10:13,681
* Hongi bongi
164
00:10:13,747 --> 00:10:14,948
* Hongi bongi, icky icky
165
00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:17,550
* Bong, bong, bong, bong
166
00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,919
* Bong, bong, bong, bong, bong
167
00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,254
* Doo-wah *
168
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,298
This room
has been cleansed.
169
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:33,901
Please be seated.
170
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:49,549
Gentlemen, I trust
you're familiar
171
00:10:49,616 --> 00:10:51,885
with the piece
of land in question?
172
00:10:51,952 --> 00:10:56,990
Familiar with it?
173
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,826
Yes, we are,
Mr. Stanhouse
174
00:10:58,892 --> 00:11:00,728
and I must compliment you
175
00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:03,697
on your astute knowledge
of valuable real estate.
176
00:11:05,766 --> 00:11:07,400
Mr. Outhouse.
Oh.
177
00:11:11,571 --> 00:11:13,173
A question.
178
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:17,711
Why does your company
want 500 acres on Mypos?
179
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:21,214
Audits indicate that our debt
ratio is highly underleveraged
180
00:11:21,281 --> 00:11:23,550
and in order to avoid
certain tax liabilities,
181
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:26,686
we need to invest capital
before the end
of our fiscal year.
182
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:29,757
I know the problem well.
183
00:11:32,826 --> 00:11:33,961
for the land
in question.
184
00:11:34,027 --> 00:11:37,297
In addition, the two of you
185
00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:40,200
of ten percent
of the total purchase price.
186
00:11:42,102 --> 00:11:44,237
Now, after careful examination
187
00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:46,406
of the land on that part
of the island--
188
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,541
We get money?
189
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:52,012
Ten percent, to be paid
by Worldwide of course.
190
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:54,214
Now...
We get money?
191
00:11:55,849 --> 00:12:00,620
Gentlemen, for
the 500 acres indicated,
192
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:02,122
Worldwide Amalgamated
193
00:12:02,189 --> 00:12:06,226
will pay to the island
of Mypos 28 million dollars.
194
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:09,329
Sold! Sold!
It's a deal!
195
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:26,379
Sold! It's a deal!
Here, where-where do we sign?
196
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:28,615
Here, here, use my pen.
You can use my pen.
197
00:12:28,681 --> 00:12:30,851
Here we go! Here we go!
198
00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:36,857
Cousin Larry
can't say "sold."
199
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:39,259
Only the head negotiator
can say "sold."
200
00:12:39,326 --> 00:12:41,795
Of course.
I got a little excited.
201
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:44,331
Go ahead, Balki,
you're the head negotiator.
202
00:12:44,397 --> 00:12:45,833
Say "sold!"
203
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,143
As the head negotiator,
204
00:12:56,209 --> 00:12:58,812
I'm going to have
to study it,
205
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:04,284
I'll get back to you,
206
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:07,955
say, the second Tuesday
after the new moon?
207
00:13:08,021 --> 00:13:10,423
I must inform you, sir,
208
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:13,526
that Worldwide Amalgamated
209
00:13:13,593 --> 00:13:16,296
so our offer is only good
till 10:00 a.m. tomorrow.
210
00:13:21,501 --> 00:13:26,506
LARRY:
Balki, we are being offered
10% of 28 million dollars
211
00:13:26,573 --> 00:13:29,209
if you just say yes.
212
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:32,112
Cousin, people don't pay
millions of dollars
213
00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,713
for something
that's worthless.
214
00:13:33,780 --> 00:13:40,921
Of course, they do!
215
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:44,057
I don't know, cousin.
216
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:46,659
Balki, what more
do you need to know?
217
00:13:46,726 --> 00:13:47,928
Worldwide Amalgamated is
218
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:49,963
one of the nicest
multinational corporations
219
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:51,999
in the Fortune 500.
220
00:13:52,065 --> 00:13:53,733
Yeah, we read
the annual reports,
221
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:57,170
the press releases,
the cover story in
Time magazine.
222
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,172
I got this microfilm.
223
00:13:59,239 --> 00:14:02,509
But reading the tiny print
is giving me a headache.
224
00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,517
Now, could 28 million dollars
225
00:14:10,583 --> 00:14:14,121
improve the lives
of the people on Mypos?
226
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,622
Yes.
Yes?
227
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:19,026
Yes. We could,
we could build
better roads.
228
00:14:19,092 --> 00:14:20,293
Better roads.
229
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,395
New schools.
New schools!
230
00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:25,232
And there has been talk of,
of building a football stadium
231
00:14:25,298 --> 00:14:27,434
and luring the Raiders over.
232
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,871
Well, Balki.
This is your chance.
233
00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,106
Mypos will have the Raiders!
234
00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:35,842
The Raiderettes!
The silver and black!
235
00:14:35,909 --> 00:14:39,112
You mean, Bo knows
sheepherding?
236
00:14:41,481 --> 00:14:42,916
Yes.
237
00:14:45,485 --> 00:14:49,156
So, in the morning,
you'll accept this offer
238
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,158
and we'll get
expensive haircuts.
239
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:55,162
Oh, cousin,
I wish I could say yes!
240
00:14:55,228 --> 00:14:56,796
You can.
I can?
241
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,365
Yes, you can.
242
00:14:59,599 --> 00:15:02,469
No, I can't.
Why not?
243
00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:05,005
Because I don't know why
Worldwide wants
to buy the land.
244
00:15:05,072 --> 00:15:07,074
Balki, they told you why
they want to buy the land.
245
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:08,608
They've got a tax problem.
246
00:15:08,675 --> 00:15:10,477
In fact, if you'd say yes,
247
00:15:10,543 --> 00:15:12,012
we would have one problem.
248
00:15:12,079 --> 00:15:14,247
A big, beautiful,
kiss it on the mouth
249
00:15:14,314 --> 00:15:17,150
$2.8 million tax problem.
250
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,420
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
251
00:15:20,487 --> 00:15:24,757
Cousin, I want you
to calm down.
252
00:15:24,824 --> 00:15:27,127
You're getting
a greed-high again.
253
00:15:28,195 --> 00:15:29,629
(KNOCKING AT DOOR)
254
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,400
Why is this so hard?
255
00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,204
Balk-eye Bartookamouse?
256
00:15:39,239 --> 00:15:40,974
I'm Balk-eye.
257
00:15:41,041 --> 00:15:42,675
Could you please sign...
258
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:45,645
Uh, take this pen
and sign your name.
259
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:07,467
It's from Worldwide.
260
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:11,604
"Dear, Mr. Bartokomous,
effective immediately,
261
00:16:11,671 --> 00:16:17,577
Worldwide Amalgamated
withdraws its offer
of 28 million dollars.
262
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:21,081
Further evaluation
of the land in question
263
00:16:21,148 --> 00:16:23,216
makes it prudent..."
264
00:16:23,283 --> 00:16:27,220
Balki. I'm going
to the window now.
265
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:31,991
If you need me,
I'll be on the pavement.
266
00:16:33,260 --> 00:16:35,095
Take a sweater.
267
00:16:37,530 --> 00:16:40,033
BALKI:
'"So effective immediately,
268
00:16:40,100 --> 00:16:44,537
we are raising our offer
to 35 million dollars."
269
00:16:46,973 --> 00:16:50,577
Thirty million dollars?
270
00:16:50,643 --> 00:16:53,380
Balki, you are a genius.
271
00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,752
You held out and squeezed
272
00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,255
another seven million dollars
out of them.
273
00:17:02,322 --> 00:17:04,557
Do you think it would be
too much if we hired a butler?
274
00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:09,162
It seems like this
is an offer
I can't refuse.
275
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:12,599
You can't refuse?
You can't refuse?
He can't refuse!
276
00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:14,634
What are you going to do
with your share of the money?
277
00:17:15,402 --> 00:17:16,569
I give it to the poor.
278
00:17:16,636 --> 00:17:29,249
Good. They'll be taken care of.
279
00:17:29,316 --> 00:17:33,353
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
280
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:39,626
Mr. Bartokomous
is 20 minutes late.
281
00:17:39,692 --> 00:17:41,894
If he doesn't get here soon
to sign those papers,
282
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:43,263
I'm afraid our deal is off.
283
00:17:43,330 --> 00:17:44,531
Oh, don't worry.
He'll be here any minute.
284
00:17:44,597 --> 00:17:46,233
He's very hot for this deal.
285
00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:49,769
What do you think
of the new Mercedes?
286
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,108
Balki, where have you been?
287
00:17:55,175 --> 00:17:57,310
Mr. Bartokomous,
we were getting worried.
288
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:58,545
BALKI:
I'm sorry.
289
00:17:58,611 --> 00:18:00,147
I had to return
the documents
290
00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,614
to the archive
so I wouldn't be slapped
291
00:18:01,681 --> 00:18:04,184
with that ten cents
a day late charge.
292
00:18:04,251 --> 00:18:06,786
Mr. Bartokomous, shall
we get started?
293
00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:08,020
Certainly.
294
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,622
Mr. Appleton
has the contracts.
295
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,324
All we need
is your signature.
296
00:18:11,391 --> 00:18:13,326
Well, uh, before that,
297
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:16,329
there's something
that I must do.
298
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:19,932
Right, alright, alright. This,
this will just take a minute.
299
00:18:19,999 --> 00:18:22,369
* Hey beegy
300
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:25,172
* Yoomba conga neengy
301
00:18:25,238 --> 00:18:27,407
* Kongy fongy, hongi bongi
302
00:18:27,474 --> 00:18:28,908
* Icky wicky, oh, yeah
303
00:18:28,975 --> 00:18:30,042
* Hongi bongi
304
00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:31,110
* Hongi bongi
305
00:18:31,178 --> 00:18:32,345
* Hongi bongi
306
00:18:32,412 --> 00:18:33,846
* Hongi bongi... *
307
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:36,183
Stop, stop, stop!
308
00:18:44,357 --> 00:18:46,426
Now, sit down and listen.
309
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:49,762
Ahem.
310
00:18:52,064 --> 00:18:54,401
Once upon a time...
311
00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:57,337
there was a beautiful
island in the South Pacific
312
00:18:57,404 --> 00:18:59,572
called Tamiki.
And the Tamiki-ites--
313
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:03,843
Okay, uh, Balki,
Balki here's a thought.
314
00:19:03,910 --> 00:19:07,514
and then do story time while
they're making out our checks?
315
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,349
Cousin, cousin, I'm trying
to get this story
316
00:19:09,416 --> 00:19:10,883
off the ground, okay?
317
00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,985
Just, just...
318
00:19:13,052 --> 00:19:14,987
The Tamiki-ites
were very happy.
319
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:17,990
And then one day, they sold
part of their island
320
00:19:18,057 --> 00:19:21,794
to a big corporation.
321
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,297
to store things.
322
00:19:24,364 --> 00:19:26,533
What kind of things
did they want to store?
323
00:19:26,599 --> 00:19:29,269
Well, we're not talking
about things
324
00:19:29,336 --> 00:19:30,803
that you would store
in your garage
325
00:19:30,870 --> 00:19:33,340
like, uh,
Christmas decorations
326
00:19:33,406 --> 00:19:36,276
and old National Geographic's
327
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,645
and the occasional
Pez dispenser
328
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,913
where the candy comes out
of the fish head.
329
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:49,222
So... after a while,
330
00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,358
the palm trees
started to die
331
00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:54,894
and the water
started to smell bad
332
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,864
and the Tamiki-ites
started to get sick.
333
00:19:57,930 --> 00:20:00,066
And pretty soon
they had to move away
334
00:20:00,132 --> 00:20:01,501
from their beautiful
island home
335
00:20:01,568 --> 00:20:03,736
because it wasn't
beautiful anymore.
336
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:06,172
What the big corporation
was storing there
337
00:20:06,239 --> 00:20:07,707
was toxic waste.
338
00:20:09,041 --> 00:20:10,510
And do you know
what is the name
339
00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:12,945
of the corporation
that did this to Tamiki?
340
00:20:13,012 --> 00:20:14,414
I'm feeling a little queasy.
341
00:20:14,481 --> 00:20:16,449
Do you have any saltines?
342
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:19,519
The name of the corporation
343
00:20:19,586 --> 00:20:21,688
is Seifert Incorporated.
344
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,924
Seifert Incorporated?
345
00:20:24,991 --> 00:20:27,394
Well, Balki, that's
a very interesting fact
346
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:30,463
but these nice people work
for Worldwide Amalgamated.
347
00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:33,766
So, let's sign the papers.
348
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:37,637
Worldwide Amalgamated
owns Seifert Incorporated.
349
00:20:37,704 --> 00:20:39,306
Babasticki!
350
00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:44,143
I learned this fact
when I took
351
00:20:44,210 --> 00:20:46,145
the microfilm back
to the archives.
352
00:20:46,212 --> 00:20:48,047
And I would like
to take this opportunity
353
00:20:48,114 --> 00:20:51,751
to thank my official
negotiating adviser,
Cousin Larry
354
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:55,555
for suggesting that I show
the microfilm on the machine.
355
00:20:58,425 --> 00:21:00,993
I'm sorry, gentlemen.
We have no deal.
356
00:21:01,060 --> 00:21:03,029
Good day, gentlemen.
357
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,564
Find me another island.
358
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:11,471
No deal?
No deal.
359
00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,105
No deal?
No deal.
360
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,508
(CRYING)
But I wanted a deal.
361
00:21:15,575 --> 00:21:18,511
I wanted to have a deal.
362
00:21:30,523 --> 00:21:33,860
Come on, cousin. Come on.
363
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,896
Just think of it...
Think of it this way.
364
00:21:36,963 --> 00:21:39,466
We saved the lives
of everyone on Mypos.
365
00:21:40,833 --> 00:21:43,636
Well, I guess
that's a good thing.
366
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:48,575
But all that money.
367
00:21:48,641 --> 00:21:50,443
Cousin, I know. I know.
368
00:21:50,510 --> 00:21:52,579
I know. Come on, come on.
369
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:54,714
Ah, you're right.
370
00:21:54,781 --> 00:21:55,815
(SIGHS)
371
00:21:55,882 --> 00:21:57,950
We did a good thing.
372
00:21:58,017 --> 00:22:01,888
Well, actually, uh,
373
00:22:01,954 --> 00:22:04,924
I was just trying
to do the best thing for Mypos.
374
00:22:07,794 --> 00:22:09,396
(SIGHS)
375
00:22:12,064 --> 00:22:14,033
I can understand
why they asked you
376
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:16,302
to be the
official negotiator.
377
00:22:16,369 --> 00:22:18,538
That King Ferdinand
is no fool.
378
00:22:18,605 --> 00:22:21,674
Well, of course he's not.
Don't be ridiculous.
379
00:22:24,577 --> 00:22:26,979
He just likes
to wear the outfit.
380
00:22:28,815 --> 00:22:32,885
(THEME MUSIC PASSAGE PLAYS)
26521
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