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1
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:13,847
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:13,914 --> 00:00:16,350
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,520
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,587 --> 00:00:22,790
* Like you need
some kinda change
5
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:30,030
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
6
00:00:30,098 --> 00:00:31,432
* This flame in my heart
7
00:00:31,499 --> 00:00:33,234
* Like a long lost friend
8
00:00:33,301 --> 00:00:38,005
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:41,175
* Standing tall
10
00:00:41,242 --> 00:00:45,279
* On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,149
* Rise and fall
12
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:51,985
* On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,421
* The rain and thunder
14
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,022
* The wind and haze
15
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,526
* I'm bound for better days
16
00:00:58,592 --> 00:01:01,895
* It's my life and my dream
17
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:05,566
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
18
00:01:20,248 --> 00:01:24,152
BALKI: Okay, Mama,
if you thought he parking lot
was spectacular,
19
00:01:24,218 --> 00:01:27,688
wait until you see what
I'm going to show you next.
20
00:01:27,755 --> 00:01:29,390
Because, Mama,
21
00:01:29,457 --> 00:01:32,560
this is where
Cousin Larry and I work!
22
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:37,298
Yes, Mama Bartokomous,
this is Cousin Larry's desk.
23
00:01:37,365 --> 00:01:39,933
And this is his
favorite coffee cup,
24
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:42,203
I gave it to him
last Christmas.
25
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:45,773
This is Cousin Larry's
pencil cup.
26
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:49,076
And this
is Cousin Larry's typewriter
27
00:01:49,143 --> 00:01:51,011
and this...
28
00:01:51,078 --> 00:01:52,613
Is Cousin Larry!
29
00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:55,349
Don't you want to just
pinch them little cheeks?
30
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:57,751
Eee-dee-dee-dee.
31
00:01:57,818 --> 00:02:00,354
Where'd you get the camera?
Cousin, I rented it.
32
00:02:00,421 --> 00:02:02,390
I'm... I'm going to make
a videotape story
33
00:02:02,456 --> 00:02:05,693
of my life for Mama.
34
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:09,597
Bartokomous family
reunion and jamboriki.
35
00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:15,636
Don't be ridiculous.
36
00:02:15,703 --> 00:02:18,572
I'm sending this tape
in my place.
37
00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,542
Everyone will ask,
"Is it Balki or is it Memorex?"
38
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:24,545
Where do I
come up with them?
39
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:28,249
Well, that's
a very nice idea, Balki,
40
00:02:28,316 --> 00:02:30,618
but you have
a minor technical problem.
41
00:02:30,684 --> 00:02:32,653
Cousin,
I'm way ahead of you.
42
00:02:32,720 --> 00:02:35,423
I have already
taken off the lens cap
43
00:02:35,489 --> 00:02:37,891
and I'm looking
through the small end.
44
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:43,231
No, what I mean is, your mama
won't be able to watch this
45
00:02:43,297 --> 00:02:46,434
without a video-cassette
playback machine.
46
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:49,270
See, the tape you're making
goes into a machine...
47
00:02:49,337 --> 00:02:52,206
You mean a VCR?
Mama has one.
48
00:02:54,942 --> 00:02:56,677
They have VCRs on Mypos?
49
00:02:56,744 --> 00:03:05,085
Well, they have one,
50
00:03:05,152 --> 00:03:07,321
Ah, but does she have a TV set?
51
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:09,257
Well, I tell you, last fall,
52
00:03:09,323 --> 00:03:11,892
Poknok the peddler
came through town
with his donkey,
53
00:03:11,959 --> 00:03:16,830
all loaded down
with pots and pans,
and dried herbs,
54
00:03:16,897 --> 00:03:20,268
and a 50-inch
rear-projection TV set.
55
00:03:21,769 --> 00:03:26,707
Mama got it on Poknok's
famous revolving credit plan.
56
00:03:26,774 --> 00:03:30,311
If you don't pay,
he straps you to a windmill.
57
00:03:32,880 --> 00:03:35,148
Well, you've got
the technology.
58
00:03:35,215 --> 00:03:40,254
What's your movie about?
59
00:03:40,321 --> 00:03:41,522
and call it,
60
00:03:41,589 --> 00:03:44,958
"24 hours In
The Life Of Balki Bartokomous."
61
00:03:47,295 --> 00:03:48,729
And we're leaving
Cousin Larry
62
00:03:48,796 --> 00:03:50,398
and them
pinchable little cheeks.
63
00:03:50,464 --> 00:03:52,266
Eee-dee-dee-dee.
64
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:55,503
And what do we see?
Balki's workplace.
65
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,571
Mama, this, this is my table.
66
00:03:57,638 --> 00:04:01,542
And this is a letter
that's going
to the second floor.
67
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,644
And this is a letter...
68
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:06,113
Hello, Larry.
69
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:09,182
Hi, Ms. Lydia.
70
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:12,286
Well,
you don't want to know.
71
00:04:12,353 --> 00:04:14,154
Yes, I do.
72
00:04:14,221 --> 00:04:15,856
Well, it's, it's the thing
73
00:04:15,923 --> 00:04:18,726
that frightens you most
in the whole world.
74
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,267
No, Ms. Lydia,
it's a video camera.
75
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:30,404
I'm... I'm making a tape
of my life to send home
to Mama
76
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:32,440
and I'm having
all my friends say hello.
77
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:34,041
Oh, Balki, don't worry.
78
00:04:34,107 --> 00:04:36,043
I've been working
with a therapist.
79
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:38,879
He taught me a way
to overcome my fear of cameras.
80
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,882
It's a new
Russian technique.
81
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:44,017
I would love to say
hello to your mama.
82
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:46,019
Okay.
83
00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:49,957
Mama, I would like you
to meet Ms. Lydia.
84
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,993
She's the Chronicle's
advice columnist.
85
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:55,295
Whenever you're ready, babe.
86
00:04:55,363 --> 00:04:58,031
Hello, Mrs. Bartokomous.
87
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:04,738
You have a fine son.
It's a pleasure knowing him.
88
00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,544
Do you need
anything else, Balki?
89
00:05:13,481 --> 00:05:15,616
That'll do it.
90
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,552
See you later, boys.
91
00:05:18,619 --> 00:05:20,821
You were very good.
Thank you.
92
00:05:29,062 --> 00:05:32,700
Okay, Mama,
time to watch me work.
93
00:05:45,178 --> 00:05:46,647
Excuse me, Balki.
94
00:05:46,714 --> 00:05:50,584
The film you're making,
is going to give your mama
95
00:05:50,651 --> 00:05:53,421
whiplash and motion sickness.
96
00:05:54,755 --> 00:05:56,924
Uh-oh, that's what
happened when she rented
97
00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:01,395
Jaws 3-D and forgot
to wear the glasses.
98
00:06:01,462 --> 00:06:03,597
Excuse us, Mama.
99
00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,800
You know,
I could help you.
100
00:06:06,867 --> 00:06:09,970
I have some experience
in filmmaking.
101
00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:11,238
You do?
102
00:06:11,304 --> 00:06:13,173
I was audio-visual monitor
103
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,809
in grade school
for five years.
104
00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:21,949
Well, you live with someone,
you think you know them.
105
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,985
I'm sure we could make a film
that would make your mama
106
00:06:25,052 --> 00:06:26,820
the proudest woman
at the reunion.
107
00:06:26,887 --> 00:06:28,622
Well, cousin,
that was my goal.
108
00:06:28,689 --> 00:06:31,959
I think we share a vision,
109
00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,194
That is
if you want my help.
110
00:06:34,261 --> 00:06:35,328
Oh, I do! I do! I do.
111
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,465
What...what...
What do we do first?
112
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:39,733
Well, the first thing
we're gonna do
113
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,570
is get a tape for this thing.
114
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:46,774
Wow!
115
00:06:48,108 --> 00:06:50,410
You are good.
116
00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,154
LARRY: Okay, here we go.
117
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:05,793
"A Day In The Life
Of Balki Bartokomous."
118
00:07:05,859 --> 00:07:08,562
Are you ready?
Yeah, I'm ready.
119
00:07:11,198 --> 00:07:12,432
(SIGHS)
120
00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,868
Good morning, Mama.
121
00:07:14,935 --> 00:07:16,670
(KISSING)
122
00:07:16,737 --> 00:07:18,706
Okay, I just...
I want to show you
the kitchen.
123
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,841
Mama, you won't believe
the things we have in here.
124
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:22,442
Cut! Stop. What are you doing?
125
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:24,411
I'm showing Mama the kitchen.
126
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,879
Balki, this is
the breakfast scene.
127
00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,481
You're supposed to come in,
grab your cereal,
128
00:07:27,548 --> 00:07:28,816
sit down,
and have breakfast.
129
00:07:28,882 --> 00:07:30,651
Did you look at the script?
130
00:07:32,352 --> 00:07:34,955
Yeah, where is the part
where I show Mama the kitchen?
131
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:38,125
I cut that part,
we were running long.
132
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:40,393
But I like the part
where I show Mama the kitchen.
133
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,862
Balki, it doesn't move
the story.
134
00:07:41,929 --> 00:07:45,566
But I like the part
where I show Mama
the kitchen.
135
00:07:45,633 --> 00:07:47,868
Okay, we'll shoot it
and deal with it in editing.
136
00:07:49,169 --> 00:07:51,471
Okay, uh,
take it from...
137
00:07:51,539 --> 00:07:55,075
"This is our kitchen."
Give me a minute.
138
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,781
This is our kitchen.
139
00:08:00,848 --> 00:08:02,750
And, Mama,
you just wouldn't believe
140
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:08,321
the things
we have in here.
141
00:08:08,388 --> 00:08:10,390
Fire...
142
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:12,760
(WATER SPLASHING)
Water.
143
00:08:18,098 --> 00:08:20,734
Winter in a box!
144
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:22,870
If you had one of these
145
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:24,605
you wouldn't have
to take your frozen foods
146
00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:27,340
to the top of Mount Mypos.
147
00:08:27,407 --> 00:08:30,644
Well, I guess,
I'll have my breakfast now.
148
00:08:33,747 --> 00:08:36,283
Cut! Hold it. No, no, no.
149
00:08:37,918 --> 00:08:39,352
The cereal's no good.
Let's go with the bran.
150
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:44,157
But, cousin, I always eat
Sugar Booms on Saturday.
151
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:46,293
Balki, do you want your mama to
think you always have a cereal
152
00:08:46,359 --> 00:08:48,662
loaded with sugar, and lacking
in nutritional value?
153
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:51,231
Well, I...
Don't you eat bran sometimes?
154
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:55,803
Well, I... I... I eat bran
on Mondays, Wednesdays,
155
00:08:55,869 --> 00:08:59,940
and on any day when
I feel a bit sluggish.
156
00:09:07,080 --> 00:09:09,016
Well, let's pretend
it's Monday or Wednesday
157
00:09:09,082 --> 00:09:12,152
or a day you feel
a bit sluggish.
158
00:09:13,854 --> 00:09:16,590
Pretending?
Ain't that lying?
159
00:09:16,657 --> 00:09:20,360
No, no,
we are making a movie.
160
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:23,030
We're filming the highlights
of your day, any day.
161
00:09:23,096 --> 00:09:26,266
Could be yesterday,
it could be today,
it could be tomorrow.
162
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:28,902
It will be tomorrow
at the rate we're going.
163
00:09:30,871 --> 00:09:32,572
The important thing
is to capture
164
00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:36,043
the essence of your life.
165
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,680
And that's not lying?
No, no, it's filmmaking.
166
00:09:39,747 --> 00:09:41,148
You take a seed of truth,
167
00:09:41,214 --> 00:09:42,916
fertilize it
with your imagination,
168
00:09:42,983 --> 00:09:45,518
water it with
exaggeration, and voila!
169
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,020
Docudrama!
170
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,928
Exactly. All right, come on.
Here we go, here we go.
171
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:56,463
Over here, all right.
172
00:09:56,529 --> 00:09:57,865
And we're gonna go
with the bran.
173
00:09:57,931 --> 00:09:59,733
All right, now just
show your mama
174
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,370
how you eat a nice,
nutritious breakfast.
175
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,984
Cut!
176
00:10:17,050 --> 00:10:18,418
We got enough
of the breakfast scene.
177
00:10:18,485 --> 00:10:21,054
Okay, now,
later on this evening,
178
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,056
I've arranged
a little get-together
here at the apartment.
179
00:10:23,123 --> 00:10:25,592
Instead of going out to film
all the people you know,
180
00:10:25,659 --> 00:10:29,162
they'll come here.
181
00:10:29,229 --> 00:10:31,598
Our party,
here in America,
182
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:35,435
sending our film
to their party in Mypos.
183
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:38,872
I see it,
and I love it!
184
00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,112
But, cousin,
I'd better change my shoes,
185
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,614
so that Mama can see me
in the new boots
she just sent me.
186
00:10:47,681 --> 00:10:51,251
Yes, yes, good,
change the shoes,
187
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:54,722
And, you know,
I see the character of Balki
188
00:10:54,788 --> 00:10:56,857
in a pale blue shirt.
189
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:03,697
Cousin, Balki Bartokomous
wears vests.
190
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,766
Now, on this point,
I'm going to have
191
00:11:05,833 --> 00:11:08,736
to put my foot down
on your face.
192
00:11:12,172 --> 00:11:14,775
I want this film to be truthful.
193
00:11:14,842 --> 00:11:17,377
Hey, we're on
the same side on this one.
194
00:11:17,444 --> 00:11:21,314
Go with the vest.
195
00:11:21,381 --> 00:11:22,682
Thank you, cousin.
196
00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,690
Yeah, hello, Don?
Uh, Larry Appleton.
197
00:11:30,758 --> 00:11:32,860
Yes, I just wanted to confirm,
I've got ten actors
198
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:36,096
from your theater group
for the film I'm shooting
this evening.
199
00:11:36,163 --> 00:11:37,898
Yeah, now,
they will be playing
200
00:11:37,965 --> 00:11:40,768
the star's closest friends
in a party scene.
201
00:11:40,834 --> 00:11:42,602
So, I want them
to dress accordingly.
202
00:11:42,669 --> 00:11:45,372
I want this film
to be truthful.
203
00:11:58,318 --> 00:12:01,354
Okay, everybody, listen up.
Quiet, people.
204
00:12:01,421 --> 00:12:03,423
I wanna go over this
one more time.
205
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:07,928
Now, we're going to do
the party sequence.
206
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:09,129
Now, we're gonna surprise Balki
207
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:11,164
because he's not
expecting anybody
208
00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,399
till much later.
209
00:12:12,465 --> 00:12:14,301
I hear someone coming.
Okay, here we go.
210
00:12:14,367 --> 00:12:17,404
We've only got one shot at it.
Let's really nail it.
211
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,272
Ready?
212
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:20,407
Action.
213
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:21,809
ALL: Surprise!
214
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:24,144
Oh, my gosh.
215
00:12:24,211 --> 00:12:25,478
Cut!
216
00:12:25,545 --> 00:12:27,747
Uh, a surprise party for me?
217
00:12:27,815 --> 00:12:29,649
I... I never even suspected.
218
00:12:29,716 --> 00:12:32,752
Thank you, Larry.
Thank you, Jennifer.
219
00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:37,457
Mary Anne,
the party's not for you.
220
00:12:37,524 --> 00:12:39,226
It's for Balki, remember?
221
00:12:40,293 --> 00:12:41,829
Oh, right.
222
00:12:42,796 --> 00:12:44,865
Come in. Come in.
223
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:53,140
Larry, who are
all these people?
224
00:12:53,206 --> 00:12:54,942
Oh, they're actors from
the neighborhood players.
225
00:12:55,008 --> 00:12:56,543
I hired them to be in the film.
226
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,479
Well, why wouldn't you
just use Balki's friends?
227
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:01,414
Well, I'm going
for a real festive look here
228
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,183
and Balki's friends
just don't...
229
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:04,885
(SNAPS FINGERS) pop on film.
230
00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:07,821
Well, thanks a lot.
231
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:10,423
No, not you, you're here.
You pop.
232
00:13:13,861 --> 00:13:16,163
Thanks, I try.
233
00:13:18,198 --> 00:13:22,435
Larry, don't you think
you should've asked Balki
before you did all this?
234
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,838
Jennifer, Balki asked me
to make this film for him,
235
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:28,208
and I am going to make this
the best film Mypos ever saw.
236
00:13:28,275 --> 00:13:31,078
It may be Balki's life,
but it's my film.
237
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,479
He's coming.
238
00:13:32,545 --> 00:13:33,613
Okay, all right. Over here.
239
00:13:33,680 --> 00:13:36,416
All right, come on, everybody.
240
00:13:36,483 --> 00:13:39,953
I wanna see surprise!
241
00:13:40,020 --> 00:13:42,455
Remember, you love this guy.
242
00:13:43,356 --> 00:13:45,492
Okay. Ready?
243
00:13:45,558 --> 00:13:46,894
Action!
244
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,096
ALL: Surprise!
245
00:13:50,197 --> 00:13:52,365
Great, hold the look,
hold the look.
246
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,202
Good, good. Cross over here.
Cross over here.
247
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:56,403
Big hug!
248
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,508
Say something.
249
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:02,943
Who are you?
250
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,246
Okay, good. Cross over here.
Cross over here.
251
00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:09,316
Good!
You are so surprised!
252
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:12,252
You're happy, You're happy.
253
00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,786
Choke back a tear if you can.
254
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:16,924
(CHOKES)
Yeah, good, good.
255
00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:19,092
Hi, Balki!
256
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:25,498
No. No, no, no. Come on.
257
00:14:27,034 --> 00:14:29,636
Cross back over here.
Cross back over here.
258
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,239
Cousin, cousin, who...
Who are all these people?
259
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:36,376
They're all your friends!
You love them so much!
260
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:40,647
Well, I recognize those two.
261
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:42,849
Good. Okay, now,
cross over here.
Cross over here.
262
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,385
Oh, and look who it is.
It's Mr. Gorpley!
263
00:14:45,452 --> 00:14:46,987
Big reaction!
Big reaction!
264
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,856
Big, big, big, big!
Okay, all right.
265
00:14:49,923 --> 00:14:53,060
Mr. Gorpley,
is there anything
266
00:14:53,126 --> 00:14:55,528
Balki is a real swell guy.
What's for dessert?
267
00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:58,398
LARRY: Terrific.
Okay, Balki, Balki.
268
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:00,934
Cross over here.
Wait a minute.
269
00:15:01,001 --> 00:15:04,037
No, no, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no.
270
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,738
Cross over here.
Come on, yeah...
271
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:09,509
Oh! And look who it is,
it's Ms. Lydia from work.
272
00:15:12,312 --> 00:15:16,116
Hi, Mrs. Bartokomous,
I'm Lydia Markham.
273
00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:21,088
And I'm so happy and proud
to be here at this party
274
00:15:21,154 --> 00:15:25,058
to honor
my best friend Bilki.
275
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,429
All of us
at the Chronicle love Bilki.
276
00:15:29,496 --> 00:15:32,065
He's such a joy to be around,
277
00:15:32,132 --> 00:15:34,934
and Bilki
is such a hard worker.
278
00:15:38,571 --> 00:15:44,877
Ms. Lydia?
279
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:47,614
Do I have another line here?
280
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:52,452
Cousin, could I...
Could I have a word with you?
281
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,155
Okay, Cut!
Hold your places, people.
282
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:02,395
I'm pretty sure,
that isn't Ms. Lydia.
283
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,834
Of course, it's not Ms. Lydia.
284
00:16:07,900 --> 00:16:10,037
Ms. Lydia talks to her hand.
285
00:16:11,504 --> 00:16:13,440
Your mama doesn't
wanna see that.
286
00:16:13,506 --> 00:16:15,208
I got an actress to play Lydia.
287
00:16:15,275 --> 00:16:17,177
But Mama will think
that is Ms. Lydia.
288
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:18,745
So what? It happens
in the movies all the time.
289
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:21,448
They always get an actor
to play a real-life person.
290
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,751
Oh, and I suppose
Crocodile Dundee
was some actor?
291
00:16:28,288 --> 00:16:30,690
Balki, buddy,
Ms. Lydia wanted to be here.
292
00:16:30,757 --> 00:16:33,060
She even wrote the words
the actress is saying,
293
00:16:33,126 --> 00:16:36,663
but remember,
we are trying to capture
the essence of your life.
294
00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:38,398
Yeah, but, but cousin...
We'll talk about it later.
295
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:39,766
Come on, we're losing
the energy of the scene.
296
00:16:39,832 --> 00:16:42,001
Okay, Jennifer, Mary Anne,
are you ready?
297
00:16:42,069 --> 00:16:44,737
Jennifer, why don't you start.
Okay, Balki, ready?
298
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,506
Action!
299
00:16:49,376 --> 00:16:52,845
Mrs. Bartokomous, you must
be very proud of your son.
300
00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:57,517
He's kind, and generous,
and loving, and I'm glad...
LARRY: Cut!
301
00:16:57,584 --> 00:17:01,521
Cousin, why you did stop her?
She was on a roll.
302
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,890
Jennifer, that doesn't sound
like the script I gave you.
303
00:17:03,956 --> 00:17:06,259
Well, Mary Anne and I
thought it would be nicer
304
00:17:06,326 --> 00:17:08,328
if we say what we really feel.
305
00:17:08,395 --> 00:17:11,198
I'm not paying you
to say what you feel.
306
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:13,233
You're not paying us at all.
307
00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:16,969
Okay, all right,
uh, ladies, uh...
308
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,773
Let me...let me explain
a basic fact of filmmaking.
309
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,243
I am the director,
you are the actresses.
310
00:17:23,310 --> 00:17:25,778
My job is to tell you
what to do,
311
00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:28,115
your job is to do it.
312
00:17:28,181 --> 00:17:30,383
Okay,
now let's take it again.
313
00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,919
I'm gonna get him.
No, no, Jennifer, Jennifer...
314
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:35,122
Cousin, I need to talk to you
for a moment in the kitchen.
315
00:17:35,188 --> 00:17:36,723
Balki, sit down,
let's finish this up.
316
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,558
Cousin, now!
317
00:17:39,859 --> 00:17:41,494
Okay, now.
318
00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,299
Make it quick,
these people have to do
319
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,636
Fiddler on the Roof
in 20 minutes.
320
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:53,240
Cousin, you were rude
to Jennifer and Mary Anne.
321
00:17:54,874 --> 00:17:57,644
Balki, buddy, babe,
a little spat
over creative differences.
322
00:17:57,710 --> 00:17:59,812
We'll make up
at the cast party.
323
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:02,615
Cousin, I agree with Jennifer.
324
00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,417
Why you don't let them
say what they feel
325
00:18:04,484 --> 00:18:06,353
instead of what you
make up for them?
326
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,421
Balki, everyone has
to follow my script
327
00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:11,891
if we're going to capture
the essence of your life.
328
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:17,464
Cousin,
this film is becoming
a pain in my essence.
329
00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:23,203
Now, now, now, first, you,
you bring in a lot of people
330
00:18:23,270 --> 00:18:24,837
who I don't even know,
331
00:18:24,904 --> 00:18:27,774
and then, you hire
an actress to play Ms. Lydia
332
00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,743
and don't think
I didn't notice
the difference in height.
333
00:18:32,479 --> 00:18:36,583
But, cousin, the straw that
broke Glen Campbell's back...
334
00:18:38,385 --> 00:18:42,589
is that you wouldn't let
Jennifer and Mary Anne
speak from their hearts.
335
00:18:42,655 --> 00:18:45,358
This is not my life.
336
00:18:45,425 --> 00:18:48,195
This is something
you are making up,
337
00:18:48,261 --> 00:18:51,531
and I don't want
to do it anymore.
338
00:18:52,732 --> 00:18:54,367
What?
339
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:58,004
Cousin, read my lips.
340
00:18:58,070 --> 00:19:02,309
It's over, finished,
kaputiki.
341
00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:08,648
So what are you saying?
342
00:19:09,616 --> 00:19:11,284
(SIGHS)
343
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,687
You're off the picture.
344
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:27,334
BALKI: (ON TV)
Mama, I would like you
to meet Jennifer.
345
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,802
This is
Cousin Larry's girlfriend.
346
00:19:29,869 --> 00:19:32,272
Balki, this is
a wonderful film.
347
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:36,709
Your mama will love it.
348
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:39,679
BALKI:
Mama, I want you to meet
someone really special to me,
349
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:41,948
my little lamb shank,
Mary Anne.
350
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:45,352
Okay, go.
351
00:19:45,418 --> 00:19:47,620
Mrs. Bartokomous,
I just want to say
352
00:19:47,687 --> 00:19:49,956
how glad I am
I met your son.
353
00:19:50,022 --> 00:19:52,992
He has a very special place
in my heart.
354
00:19:53,059 --> 00:19:56,396
Thank you so much
for letting him
come to America.
355
00:19:58,197 --> 00:20:00,166
(BALKI CHUCKLES ON TAPE)
356
00:20:00,233 --> 00:20:01,734
Whoa, whoa.
357
00:20:06,172 --> 00:20:07,507
Bye.
358
00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,977
Wow.
359
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,680
Well, Mama, um,
that about wraps it up.
360
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,583
I hope everyone's having
a great time at the reunion.
361
00:20:16,649 --> 00:20:19,185
Mama, I wish I could
be there with you.
362
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:20,920
You could tell me
everything that's happened
363
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,456
since the last time
I was on Mypos.
364
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,925
I wish we could go walking
in your garden again.
365
00:20:25,992 --> 00:20:28,528
We could go and,
and sit under the olive tree
366
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,397
and watch the sunset
367
00:20:30,463 --> 00:20:33,800
and spit pits for distance.
368
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:37,737
Well, maybe I'll see you
at the next reunion, okay?
369
00:20:37,804 --> 00:20:39,439
Bye-bye, Mama.
370
00:20:41,474 --> 00:20:44,544
(CLICKS TONGUE) Oh, Balki,
that was beautiful.
371
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:47,947
Yeah, it was.
372
00:20:49,248 --> 00:20:51,318
Oh, Larry, hi. Um...
373
00:20:51,384 --> 00:20:52,719
Well, it's getting late.
374
00:20:52,785 --> 00:20:55,855
Uh, you two
probably wanna talk.
Right.
375
00:20:55,922 --> 00:20:58,591
We'll come back
in the morning
and help you clean up.
376
00:20:58,658 --> 00:21:00,527
You know, I don't know what
Lydia's been doing to herself,
377
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:02,295
but she sure looks fabulous.
378
00:21:08,735 --> 00:21:11,304
I saw a little bit
of your, uh, film.
379
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:15,141
Looks good.
Thank you, cousin.
380
00:21:15,207 --> 00:21:18,077
You know my only regret
is that I don't have
381
00:21:18,144 --> 00:21:20,313
my closest and dearest friend
in the whole world in it,
382
00:21:20,380 --> 00:21:22,281
so that Mama
could meet him.
383
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,353
Well, I wish I could
have been in it.
384
00:21:26,419 --> 00:21:28,555
Well, I still
have the camera.
385
00:21:38,365 --> 00:21:42,101
Well, Mrs. Bartokomous,
everyone...
386
00:21:42,168 --> 00:21:44,937
Uh... Uh...
387
00:21:45,004 --> 00:21:46,873
Cousin,
just say what you feel.
388
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:49,709
They're your family, too.
Go ahead.
389
00:21:52,745 --> 00:21:56,048
I know you're all sad
because Balki's not there
390
00:21:56,115 --> 00:22:03,523
and I know you miss him.
391
00:22:03,590 --> 00:22:05,558
He's my best friend.
392
00:22:05,625 --> 00:22:09,396
And don't worry
about him because
393
00:22:09,462 --> 00:22:11,598
I'll look out for him.
394
00:22:11,664 --> 00:22:14,634
Well, we...we look out
for each other.
395
00:22:16,068 --> 00:22:18,037
I hope you're having
a great reunion.
396
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:21,741
Bye-bye, Mama.
Bye-bye, Mama.
397
00:22:25,712 --> 00:22:28,681
Now, can you take it again
and this time make it pop?
29478
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