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1
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:13,314
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,317
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,384 --> 00:00:19,420
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:22,456
* Like you need
some kinda change
5
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:27,361
* No matter what the odds
are this time
6
00:00:27,428 --> 00:00:29,730
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
7
00:00:29,797 --> 00:00:33,201
* This flame in my heart
like a long lost friend
8
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:37,271
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:38,672 --> 00:00:41,475
* Standing tall
10
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:44,612
* On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:48,149
* Rise and fall
12
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:51,919
* On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:53,387
* The rain and thunder
14
00:00:53,454 --> 00:00:55,123
* The wind and haze
15
00:00:55,189 --> 00:00:58,426
* I'm bound for better days
16
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:01,895
* It's my life and my dream
17
00:01:01,962 --> 00:01:05,099
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
18
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:26,854
Yes, sir. I'll have it for you
tomorrow morning.
19
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:29,823
Cousin, cousin, don't...
Don't... Don't do anything.
20
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,359
Just wait--
Balki, I'm fine.
21
00:01:31,425 --> 00:01:35,062
I got it. I got it.
22
00:01:35,129 --> 00:01:37,331
I'm fine. I'm fine.
No, Balki, I'm fine.
23
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:41,202
I'm fine. Get back.
Can you just get--
24
00:01:41,269 --> 00:01:42,570
No, no, no, Balki.
Cousin, don't--
25
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:45,439
No, no, no.
Oh, oh.
26
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,447
Now, you see,
it's a lucky thing
I was here.
27
00:01:56,217 --> 00:01:58,018
Now, very slowly,
let me just take--
28
00:01:58,085 --> 00:01:59,320
No, Balki--
Listen.
29
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,121
Just let me get
the top one.
30
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,794
Good thing, they don't let
you guys handle explosives.
31
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,167
Well, so what is all this?
32
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,169
Don't tell me you're still
writing that article?
33
00:02:15,236 --> 00:02:16,537
Oh, no, Balki,
I'm not writing it.
34
00:02:16,604 --> 00:02:18,272
I'm just doing the research.
35
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,607
Three feature reporters
are writing it.
36
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,310
Oh, well, that hardly
seems fair.
37
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,245
Oh, no, no.
38
00:02:24,312 --> 00:02:26,214
It's great.
I'm learning a lot.
39
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:29,016
See, the series
is on senior citizens.
40
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:32,253
And this afternoon
I interviewed a pair
of elderly brothers--
41
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,422
Oh, I love The Elderly Brothers.
42
00:02:34,488 --> 00:02:36,490
* Bye-bye, love
43
00:02:36,557 --> 00:02:38,759
* Bye-bye, happiness *
44
00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,462
Now, Balki.
45
00:02:41,529 --> 00:02:43,297
you were meeting
The Elderly Brothers?
46
00:02:48,101 --> 00:02:49,437
It was last minute.
Hmm.
47
00:02:51,138 --> 00:02:52,273
You tell me all about it
48
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,907
on the way
to the movie tonight.
49
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:55,309
Movie?
Yeah.
50
00:02:55,376 --> 00:02:57,010
Benji the Hunted
is playing at the theater
51
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,579
or a drive-in near us.
52
00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:00,381
Oh, oh, oh.
53
00:03:00,448 --> 00:03:02,950
Ah, Balki, I can't go
to a movie tonight.
54
00:03:03,016 --> 00:03:04,418
I've gotta stay home.
55
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,119
I've gotta go
through all these files
56
00:03:06,186 --> 00:03:07,288
and take notes on each one.
57
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:09,923
Oh, cousin, I'm sorry.
58
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,058
Oh, that's okay, Balki.
59
00:03:11,124 --> 00:03:12,326
You enjoy the movie.
60
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:13,927
Enjoy the movie?
61
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:15,463
Are you out of my mind?
62
00:03:17,331 --> 00:03:19,333
If you stay home,
I stay home.
63
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:20,701
Now, this is what
we're gonna do.
64
00:03:20,768 --> 00:03:23,637
I'll read you the files,
and you take notes.
65
00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:26,307
"Residents of
Oak Park, Illinois,
66
00:03:26,374 --> 00:03:29,109
"were surveyed,
and it was--"
Um...
67
00:03:29,176 --> 00:03:32,780
No, uh, Balki, I really
should read them myself.
68
00:03:33,914 --> 00:03:35,215
You're absolutely right.
69
00:03:35,283 --> 00:03:37,251
What kind of fool am I?
70
00:03:37,318 --> 00:03:38,919
Listen, this is what
we're gonna do.
71
00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:41,088
You read the files,
and I'll take notes.
72
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,257
I'll have to start sharpening
pencils right now.
73
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,201
Balki, I think what--
74
00:03:54,268 --> 00:03:56,103
Balki, I think
what we need to--
75
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,805
Balki. Balki.
76
00:04:00,908 --> 00:04:04,978
Balki, I better
take the notes myself.
77
00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,914
See, I've kinda
got my own system.
78
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:09,049
But to tell you the truth,
I'd feel terrible
79
00:04:09,116 --> 00:04:10,984
if you missed
Benji because of me.
80
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,220
Cousin, please, don't give it
a second thought.
81
00:04:13,287 --> 00:04:14,922
If you need a helping hand
82
00:04:14,988 --> 00:04:17,791
Balki will be there
to jump in with both feet.
83
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,613
Cousin, you'll never guess
what happened tonight!
84
00:04:40,614 --> 00:04:43,984
Wait a minute, Balki.
85
00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:45,519
Please.
86
00:04:46,186 --> 00:04:47,455
Please.
87
00:04:56,397 --> 00:04:59,166
I went to see
Benji the Hunted.
88
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:00,501
Mind blower!
89
00:05:02,370 --> 00:05:03,904
I mean, the whole movie
90
00:05:03,971 --> 00:05:06,507
is shown from a dog's
point of view.
91
00:05:06,574 --> 00:05:08,376
And you know, I never
thought about it before
92
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:09,710
but that Benji
must get a stiff neck
93
00:05:09,777 --> 00:05:11,211
from looking up
all the time.
94
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:12,880
Uh-uh-uh. Hey.
95
00:05:14,114 --> 00:05:15,783
But anyway, anyway
96
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:18,486
the really exciting thing
happened after the movie.
97
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,020
Okay, wait a minute.
Hang on, hang on.
98
00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,289
Let me finish this.
Let me finish this.
99
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,057
Let me finish, please.
100
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,595
Okay. I went...
101
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:29,497
I went to the night mart.
102
00:05:29,563 --> 00:05:32,099
Did you know, they let you
make your own hot cocoa?
103
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:33,567
Well, they do.
104
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:35,603
And it's not as easy
as most people think.
105
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,739
There's a trick to it.
106
00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:43,911
as you add the hot water.
107
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:45,713
Uh, Balki, Balki, Balki.
108
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:49,216
I've seen you
make hot chocolate
109
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,485
and hey, you're the best.
110
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:56,690
But I am up to my neck
in senior citizens here
111
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,992
so it would really
help me right now
112
00:05:59,059 --> 00:06:01,862
if you could just
save your story for later.
113
00:06:01,929 --> 00:06:03,664
But, cousin, cousin--
Later. Could you do that?
114
00:06:03,731 --> 00:06:08,769
Could you do that for me?
Wait a minute.
115
00:06:08,836 --> 00:06:10,137
Please.
116
00:06:13,441 --> 00:06:14,642
Okay.
117
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:18,446
Thank you.
118
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,165
What's your story?
Okay.
119
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,338
I made a new friend!
120
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,775
Great story.
I laughed. I cried.
121
00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,109
Now, can I get
back to my work?
122
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,946
No, so I'm at the night mart
123
00:06:53,013 --> 00:06:55,348
and I see this guy
trying to make hot cocoa.
124
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:56,784
And he doesn't know
what he's doing.
125
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:58,418
He's messing it all up.
126
00:06:58,486 --> 00:07:00,220
And he's ending up
with this brown glop
127
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,722
at the bottom of his cup.
128
00:07:01,789 --> 00:07:04,124
Disgusting.
So I went up to him
129
00:07:04,191 --> 00:07:06,760
and I decided I'll show him
how to make it the Balki way,
130
00:07:06,827 --> 00:07:09,196
which as you know entails
a degree of stirring.
131
00:07:09,262 --> 00:07:11,364
Well, that's nice.
That's nice.
132
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:13,734
You help someone,
you make a friend.
133
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:15,736
That's the way it works.
Yeah, but...but--
134
00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:17,538
Uh-uh!
Oh.
135
00:07:19,807 --> 00:07:22,409
So, well, it was a good thing
I was his friend
136
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,712
because I have to pay
for his hot cocoa.
137
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:29,750
Oh, you paid
for his hot cocoa.
138
00:07:29,817 --> 00:07:32,219
he realized he had forgot
his wallet at home.
139
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,154
Oh, getting
to the checkout line
140
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:35,523
realizing you don't
have any money.
141
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:36,724
That can be embarrassing.
142
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:38,091
You can say that again
143
00:07:38,158 --> 00:07:39,660
and it was a good thing
I was there
144
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,695
because I also had to pay
for his Dang Dongs.
145
00:07:41,762 --> 00:07:45,132
You paid for his hot chocolate
and his Dang Dongs?
146
00:07:45,198 --> 00:07:47,968
Yeah, yeah, I paid
for his Dang Dongs
147
00:07:48,035 --> 00:07:50,437
and his, uh,
double-stuffed Oreos
148
00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:52,940
and his Scooter Pies
and his Twinkies
149
00:07:53,006 --> 00:07:55,809
and his two gallons
of Cookies 'n Cream ice cream.
150
00:08:01,915 --> 00:08:04,818
Uh... Balki, I--
Cousin, cousin, cousin.
151
00:08:04,885 --> 00:08:07,487
I know what you're thinking,
and I asked myself
152
00:08:07,555 --> 00:08:09,389
the very same question.
153
00:08:09,456 --> 00:08:12,259
Isn't this just a little
too much sugar in one's diet?
154
00:08:16,630 --> 00:08:17,965
That's not
what I was thinking.
155
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:21,368
Well, you'll be happy to know
156
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,970
until after his dinner.
157
00:08:23,036 --> 00:08:28,008
Dinner?
158
00:08:28,075 --> 00:08:29,442
Wait a minute.
159
00:08:29,509 --> 00:08:30,978
Back up. Back up.
160
00:08:31,044 --> 00:08:32,279
Whoa!
161
00:08:36,249 --> 00:08:39,119
He took you to a very
expensive restaurant?
162
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:40,554
If he didn't
have any money,
163
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:44,692
how did he pay
for this dinner?
164
00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:47,360
he pulled out
all the stops.
165
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:50,831
He insisted we have the best
dinner my money could buy.
166
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:55,002
Cousin.
167
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:57,004
I don't know, it's pretty
unbelievable so far.
168
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:03,076
My new friend
is a world-famous athlete.
169
00:09:03,143 --> 00:09:05,846
You're right.
This is a part
I don't believe.
170
00:09:05,913 --> 00:09:09,316
At the 1984 Olympics,
he won four gold medals.
171
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,619
Two for running,
one for jumping
172
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,654
and one for handing
someone a stick.
173
00:09:17,524 --> 00:09:19,026
Let me guess, Carl Lewis?
174
00:09:19,092 --> 00:09:19,993
Get out of the city!
175
00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:21,629
You know him, too?
No.
176
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:26,900
No, I don't know him,
and neither do you.
177
00:09:26,967 --> 00:09:31,504
This Carl is a con artist.
No, cousin,
he is not an artist.
178
00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,173
He... Have you
been listening?
179
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:38,311
He's a runner and a jumper
and a stick-hander-offer.
180
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:42,049
Balki, Balki, your friend
181
00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:44,852
Carl Lewis isn't
the real Carl Lewis
182
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,987
and he certainly
isn't your friend.
183
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:51,324
He's a fake, a fraud, a phony
and probably hypoglycemic.
184
00:09:57,097 --> 00:09:59,366
Cousin, I'm surprised that
185
00:09:59,432 --> 00:10:00,934
you're saying these things
186
00:10:01,001 --> 00:10:03,370
about someone
you have not even met.
187
00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,072
Balki, just think about it.
188
00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:07,675
You met him in an all-night
grocery store.
189
00:10:07,741 --> 00:10:09,810
He borrowed money
to buy his hot chocolate.
190
00:10:09,877 --> 00:10:12,045
He borrowed money
to buy his groceries.
191
00:10:12,112 --> 00:10:15,615
He borrowed money to pay
for an expensive dinner.
192
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,851
Surprised he didn't
borrow money
to pay for a cab.
193
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:20,888
Only $20.
Twenty dollars?
194
00:10:20,954 --> 00:10:22,656
Well, I... It's all
that I had left.
195
00:10:22,723 --> 00:10:24,858
I hope he got home, okay.
Balki.
196
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,966
And he doesn't need
to borrow money from you.
197
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,469
Oh, cousin, is that
what's bothering you?
198
00:10:36,536 --> 00:10:41,008
I was wondering what you had
a bee in your pants about.
199
00:10:41,074 --> 00:10:44,812
Cousin, he's going to pay me
back tomorrow at the track meet.
200
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:50,150
What track meet?
201
00:10:50,217 --> 00:10:51,618
And he's leaving
202
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,520
two tickets
at the box office.
203
00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,856
All right, Balki,
listen to me.
204
00:10:58,191 --> 00:11:00,127
It's all part of the same lie.
205
00:11:00,193 --> 00:11:01,862
This guy already
has your money.
206
00:11:01,929 --> 00:11:03,530
You're never gonna
see him again.
207
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,132
Cousin.
208
00:11:05,198 --> 00:11:07,534
Do you know
what your problem is?
209
00:11:07,600 --> 00:11:09,937
You don't trust people.
210
00:11:10,003 --> 00:11:12,172
I trust some people.
211
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:17,310
I just don't trust strangers
who claim to be somebody famous
and take all my money.
212
00:11:17,377 --> 00:11:20,347
Well, uh, listen
you come with me tomorrow
to the box office
213
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:23,050
and when you see
those tickets, and you will,
214
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:26,286
your face is going to be
green with embarrassment.
215
00:11:27,988 --> 00:11:29,790
That's red
with embarrassment.
216
00:11:29,857 --> 00:11:31,825
And there
won't be any tickets.
217
00:11:31,892 --> 00:11:33,827
There will be tickets.
Ah.
218
00:11:33,894 --> 00:11:35,796
And you're going to come
crawling to me
219
00:11:35,863 --> 00:11:38,198
on your hands and face
and say, "Balki...
220
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,502
"Why... Why can't I be
more like you
221
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,004
"and less like me?"
222
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:46,406
Now, if you'll excuse me
I'm going to go upstairs
223
00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,675
and get Mary Anne and take
her out for a cup of coffee
224
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,711
because I'm sure she'll be
excited about my new friend.
225
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:57,250
Cousin, could I borrow some
money until Carl pays me back?
226
00:11:57,317 --> 00:11:58,351
Thank you.
227
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:20,440
Uh, please, two tickets
under the name of Carl Lewis.
228
00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,212
Balki, if there
are any tickets here
229
00:12:25,278 --> 00:12:27,614
I'll eat pigeon,
crow, any bird you want.
230
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,983
I got nothing for Carl Lewis.
231
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:32,886
Oh, um, try under
the name of Bartokomous.
232
00:12:32,953 --> 00:12:35,088
That's B-A-R-T-O
233
00:12:35,155 --> 00:12:36,924
with a komous at the end.
234
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:41,895
That's the thing.
235
00:12:41,962 --> 00:12:43,163
I got nothing.
236
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:48,335
Uh, did you try
under Bartokomous?
237
00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:51,438
B-A-R-T-O--
Yeah, yeah.
238
00:12:51,504 --> 00:12:53,907
But Lewis didn't leave
anybody any tickets.
239
00:12:53,974 --> 00:12:58,211
Well, eh...
240
00:12:58,278 --> 00:13:00,981
But your friend
didn't leave any tickets.
241
00:13:01,048 --> 00:13:03,150
Well, I... I want to see--
242
00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,452
Next.
243
00:13:05,518 --> 00:13:06,854
Balki.
244
00:13:07,888 --> 00:13:09,756
Hey, I'm sorry.
245
00:13:09,823 --> 00:13:11,224
I know you're disappointed.
246
00:13:11,291 --> 00:13:13,160
He probably just forgot
to leave the tickets.
247
00:13:13,226 --> 00:13:18,165
You know,
he is very forgetful.
248
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,067
and he forgot
to set the alarm.
249
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:22,435
And then when he woke up,
he was so weirded out
250
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:24,271
that he forget
to bring the tickets.
251
00:13:25,839 --> 00:13:29,642
Balki...
252
00:13:29,709 --> 00:13:32,846
just waiting to take advantage
of people like you.
253
00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,849
Well, uh, cousin,
maybe there are,
254
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:38,118
but my friend Carl
is not one of them.
255
00:13:38,185 --> 00:13:40,420
Your friend Carl
isn't even Carl.
256
00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,289
Cousin, do you know
what you are?
257
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:44,992
You are a doubting
Thomopoulos.
258
00:13:46,159 --> 00:13:48,295
I am not
a doubting Thomopoulos.
259
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:49,897
I'm a realist.
260
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,065
A realist who is freezing
his buns off.
261
00:13:54,334 --> 00:13:56,003
No, cousin...
262
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,305
We came here
to wait for Carl.
263
00:13:58,371 --> 00:14:00,073
And if you're not
willing to wait for Carl,
264
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:02,209
I don't know why you come
in the first place.
265
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,278
Balki, I came
to look out for you.
266
00:14:05,345 --> 00:14:06,746
I knew there wouldn't
be any tickets
267
00:14:06,813 --> 00:14:07,948
and I knew you'd be hurt.
268
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,282
Well, I'm not hurt.
269
00:14:09,349 --> 00:14:11,318
So you have
wasted your trip.
270
00:14:11,384 --> 00:14:12,352
Okay, fine.
271
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:13,653
You stand out here
in the cold.
272
00:14:13,720 --> 00:14:15,255
I am going home.
273
00:14:15,322 --> 00:14:17,357
All right, go home.
I will.
274
00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,426
Go home.
275
00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,594
You think I won't?
276
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,731
No, I think you will.
277
00:14:24,797 --> 00:14:26,433
I'm not a doubting Thomopoulos.
278
00:14:26,499 --> 00:14:28,168
Okay, here I go.
279
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,354
So you're just
gonna stay here?
280
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:50,090
Look at me.
Am I moving?
281
00:14:51,124 --> 00:14:52,993
Okay, okay. Fine.
282
00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,395
I guess there are
some things
283
00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:57,330
you've just got to
learn for yourself.
284
00:14:57,998 --> 00:14:59,299
I guess so.
285
00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:01,634
Good night, cousin.
286
00:15:28,628 --> 00:15:31,298
How long has
the track meet been over?
287
00:15:31,364 --> 00:15:33,200
Well, are you're sure
there's no one there?
288
00:15:36,369 --> 00:15:38,371
Is there anyone else there?
289
00:15:38,438 --> 00:15:41,441
I left him standing right
outside the will call window.
290
00:15:41,508 --> 00:15:43,410
Could you just run outside
and check for me?
291
00:15:45,979 --> 00:15:47,414
Oh, well, that's real nice.
292
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,283
That's real clever.
293
00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,419
Well, let me tell you
something, Buster.
294
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,187
I'm rubber and you're glue.
295
00:15:54,254 --> 00:15:55,755
Everything you say
bounces off me
296
00:15:55,822 --> 00:15:57,157
and sticks to you!
297
00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:04,697
I'll find him myself.
298
00:16:11,138 --> 00:16:13,173
That's called,
the Fosbury Flop.
299
00:16:15,175 --> 00:16:17,044
Balki, it's 1:00 a.m.
300
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,345
Where have you been?
301
00:16:18,411 --> 00:16:21,914
Funny, funny story, cousin.
302
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:26,419
Not two minutes after
your compact little legs
carried you away...
303
00:16:28,188 --> 00:16:30,890
...Carl came running
out of the stadium,
304
00:16:30,957 --> 00:16:32,592
apologized for not
leaving the tickets
305
00:16:32,659 --> 00:16:36,096
and swept me
into the stadium!
306
00:16:36,163 --> 00:16:38,465
And... And there were
no seats left
307
00:16:38,531 --> 00:16:40,267
so he had to give me
a press pass.
308
00:16:40,333 --> 00:16:42,135
A press pass?
It gets better.
309
00:16:42,202 --> 00:16:43,603
I'm sure it does.
310
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,406
Cousin, it was so much fun
inside that stadium.
311
00:16:46,473 --> 00:16:49,942
Everybody is running
and jumping and throwing things.
312
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,279
Hey, Balki...
313
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:55,415
Are you trying to tell me
that Carl really showed up?
314
00:16:58,251 --> 00:17:01,621
Half of communication
is being a good listener.
315
00:17:07,127 --> 00:17:08,561
I'm sorry to rub it in.
316
00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:10,797
I know how embarrassed
you must be
317
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:15,935
by being completely wrong.
318
00:17:16,002 --> 00:17:17,737
Oh, Balki.
319
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:22,142
Balki, Balki, Balki.
320
00:17:25,312 --> 00:17:26,646
Listen to me.
321
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:33,120
I know what you're
going through.
322
00:17:34,421 --> 00:17:37,490
In junior high,
I told Bobby Caruso
323
00:17:37,557 --> 00:17:40,827
that Henry Aaron
was a friend of my dad's
324
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,330
and that he was coming over
for dinner that weekend.
325
00:17:43,396 --> 00:17:46,099
Well, the next day,
every kid in the eighth grade
326
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,034
begged me for his autograph.
327
00:17:48,101 --> 00:17:49,569
Bobby Caruso's?
328
00:17:52,172 --> 00:17:54,307
Henry Aaron's.
329
00:17:54,374 --> 00:17:56,976
So what could I do?
I had to save face.
330
00:17:57,043 --> 00:17:59,679
I spent the whole weekend
signing pieces of paper
331
00:17:59,746 --> 00:18:04,117
that said "Best wishes,
stay in school, Henry Aaron."
332
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:15,462
Do you see what
I'm getting at?
333
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,565
But shouldn't you
be telling all of this
to Bobby Caruso?
334
00:18:22,469 --> 00:18:23,636
Balki.
335
00:18:23,703 --> 00:18:26,439
The point is
when you've been hurt
336
00:18:26,506 --> 00:18:31,211
you don't have to make up
a story to save face.
337
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:36,883
You...
338
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,419
You don't believe me.
339
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:43,256
Balki, this is Cousin Larry
you're talking to.
340
00:18:46,393 --> 00:18:48,795
I have never lied to you.
341
00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,330
And even before I knew you
342
00:18:50,397 --> 00:18:52,199
I never lied to you.
343
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,502
And even before
I never lied to you
344
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:57,604
I never lied to anyone,
345
00:18:57,670 --> 00:19:00,273
not even the littlest sheep
in my flock.
346
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:07,914
So you're gonna stick
to your story.
347
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,750
It's...the truth.
348
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,286
Okay, fine.
349
00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:15,288
Carl Lewis is your friend.
I'm happy for you.
350
00:19:16,656 --> 00:19:18,791
He is.
Hey, I believe it.
351
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,895
So, what'd you and Carl
do after the meet?
352
00:19:22,962 --> 00:19:25,432
Hit the night mart
and throw down a couple
of hot chocolates?
353
00:19:31,371 --> 00:19:33,105
Now, you're making fun
of Balki.
354
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:36,809
Look, let's just
forget the whole thing.
I gotta turn in.
355
00:19:36,876 --> 00:19:38,778
I've got
a big day tomorrow.
356
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:40,913
I'm playing handball
with the Pope.
357
00:19:43,450 --> 00:19:45,852
Oh, that must be
Morgan Fairchild.
358
00:19:45,918 --> 00:19:47,887
I met her at the Laundromat,
you know.
359
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:02,001
I'm looking
for Balki Bartokomous.
360
00:20:02,068 --> 00:20:04,437
Carl, come in.
Oh, hey, Balki.
How you doin'?
361
00:20:07,774 --> 00:20:09,108
Oh, thank you.
362
00:20:09,175 --> 00:20:10,910
You're Carl Lewis.
Yeah.
363
00:20:12,279 --> 00:20:13,980
Harriette is gonna
love these.
364
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,816
She's a big, big fan of yours
and your brother Jerry.
365
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:20,487
You must be Larry.
366
00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,489
Balki's talks
about you all the time.
367
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,391
You're Carl Lewis.
368
00:20:24,457 --> 00:20:26,859
I was the last time
I looked at myself.
369
00:20:26,926 --> 00:20:28,395
You're Carl Lewis.
370
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,397
Ooh.
371
00:20:33,833 --> 00:20:35,402
Okay. Bye, Carl.
372
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:37,704
And listen, if you ever need
a place to crash, feel free.
373
00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:39,772
I'll do that
and nice talking
to you, Larry.
374
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:54,587
That was Carl Lewis.
375
00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,359
Yes. Yes, it was.
376
00:21:25,318 --> 00:21:27,754
Yes, yeah...
377
00:21:27,820 --> 00:21:31,324
You know... You know,
I didn't believe you.
378
00:21:35,562 --> 00:21:36,996
No, you didn't.
379
00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,504
Carl must think
I'm a real jerk.
380
00:21:55,214 --> 00:21:56,749
I made fun of you.
381
00:21:58,050 --> 00:22:00,587
Oh, cousin, I forgive you.
Oh.
382
00:22:00,653 --> 00:22:02,254
You were just trying
to protect me.
383
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,757
Uh, yeah, I was, I was.
384
00:22:04,824 --> 00:22:06,726
And I promise,
385
00:22:06,793 --> 00:22:10,497
from now on I will never
doubt you ever again.
386
00:22:10,563 --> 00:22:13,299
Really?
Never. Ever, never.
387
00:22:13,366 --> 00:22:16,035
Never?
Uh, if you say it,
388
00:22:16,102 --> 00:22:17,870
I'll believe it.
389
00:22:21,974 --> 00:22:24,143
Well, what if I say that
390
00:22:24,210 --> 00:22:25,545
I had dinner with the mayor?
391
00:22:25,612 --> 00:22:27,647
I'd ask what he ordered?
392
00:22:29,716 --> 00:22:32,719
What if I say that NASA
wants me to be an astronaut?
393
00:22:32,785 --> 00:22:34,887
I'd mix up
a pitcher of Tang.
394
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:48,668
What if I said...
395
00:22:50,637 --> 00:22:55,307
...that I bought
a handful of magic beans
396
00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:58,077
and I threw them
out the window.
397
00:22:58,144 --> 00:22:59,912
And they grew up...
398
00:23:01,614 --> 00:23:04,116
...into a beanstalk
and it reached to the clouds
399
00:23:04,183 --> 00:23:07,487
and I climbed up it
and I met a giant
400
00:23:07,554 --> 00:23:10,423
who wrestled me
and I came down
401
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:12,158
with his golden goose?
402
00:23:24,403 --> 00:23:26,405
I'd believe you.
403
00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:28,541
Oh, cousin,
show a little judgment.
404
00:23:28,608 --> 00:23:30,743
I could lose my mind,
you know.
29034
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