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1
00:00:10,378 --> 00:00:13,914
* Sometimes
the world looks perfect
2
00:00:13,981 --> 00:00:16,350
* Nothing to rearrange
3
00:00:16,417 --> 00:00:19,487
* Sometimes you just
get a feeling
4
00:00:19,553 --> 00:00:23,757
* Like you need
some kinda change
5
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:27,461
* No matter what the odds
are this time
6
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,930
* Nothing's gonna
stand in my way
7
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:33,367
* This flame in my heart
like a long-lost friend
8
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:38,639
* Gives every dark street
a light at the end
9
00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:41,342
* Standing tall
10
00:00:41,409 --> 00:00:45,279
* On the wings of my dream
11
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:48,116
* Rise and fall
12
00:00:48,182 --> 00:00:52,019
* On the wings of my dream
13
00:00:52,086 --> 00:00:53,421
* The rain and thunder
14
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:55,055
* The wind and haze
15
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:58,792
* I'm bound for better days
16
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,862
* It's my life and my dream
17
00:01:01,929 --> 00:01:05,533
* Nothing's gonna stop me now
* Nothing's gonna stop me
18
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,736
* It's my life and my dream
19
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:11,472
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now
20
00:01:19,012 --> 00:01:23,184
* Nothing's gonna
stop me now *
21
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:37,698
FEMALE:
Work your arms.
Work 'em. Work your arms.
22
00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:43,437
Higher, good.
Now kick, kick.
Loosen up. Kick.
23
00:01:43,504 --> 00:01:44,905
Higher, higher, higher.
24
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:46,374
Side twist.
25
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:49,042
Now back again.
Side twist. Keep it up.
26
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,412
Twist, twist.
Very good.
27
00:01:51,479 --> 00:01:54,282
Balki, don't do that.
28
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:59,387
It would help me if the floor
didn't shake before noon.
29
00:02:00,988 --> 00:02:02,890
Boy, you are grumpy
in the morning.
30
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,692
I'm grumpy all the time.
31
00:02:04,758 --> 00:02:07,228
I just hide it better
the rest of the day.
32
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:16,204
What are you doing?
33
00:02:16,270 --> 00:02:18,172
Buttock pinches.
34
00:02:21,609 --> 00:02:23,311
Don't forget to fold up
the couch.
35
00:02:23,377 --> 00:02:24,945
You left it open yesterday.
36
00:02:25,012 --> 00:02:28,749
I can't.
37
00:02:28,816 --> 00:02:32,386
No, it's not so simple.
38
00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:35,389
No, no, I think--
Balki, watch and learn.
39
00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:41,329
Take the little black handle.
Yes.
40
00:02:41,395 --> 00:02:44,765
Balki, watch and learn.
41
00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,370
You just lift and push.
42
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:54,308
Lift and push.
43
00:02:55,476 --> 00:02:57,945
Lift.
And push.
44
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:01,749
Push and lift!
45
00:03:03,050 --> 00:03:04,518
Lift! Oh!
46
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,220
Oh! Oh!
47
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:07,521
It's broken.
48
00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:09,757
No, I think
it's just a sprain.
49
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:12,793
No, I mean,
the sofa is broken.
50
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:18,799
Why didn't you tell me that?
51
00:03:18,866 --> 00:03:22,403
Well, because I was busy
watching and learning.
52
00:03:28,476 --> 00:03:30,278
No, no, Balki.
What are you doing?
53
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,414
Balki, Balki, no, no, no.
54
00:03:33,481 --> 00:03:36,284
Balki! No, no. Thank you.
55
00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:39,320
I don't need any pagan cures.
56
00:03:42,290 --> 00:03:44,024
Oh. I could've
bought a new couch.
57
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:47,428
But no-o-o,
I had to buy a used one.
58
00:03:47,495 --> 00:03:52,600
Well, I'm the one
that sleeps there,
so I buy the new one.
59
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:53,934
Whoa!
60
00:03:57,137 --> 00:03:59,440
What did we lose?
61
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:08,649
Don't you ever,
ever do that again.
62
00:04:08,716 --> 00:04:10,217
What?
63
00:04:10,284 --> 00:04:14,422
I was getting my money.
64
00:04:14,488 --> 00:04:17,691
Well, of course I do.
I want it to be safe.
65
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:21,529
Safe?
66
00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:23,464
get tired ransacking
the apartment
67
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:26,334
lie down to take a nap, bam!
Your money's gone.
68
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:31,372
No, I never
thought of that.
69
00:04:31,439 --> 00:04:32,840
Well, you should.
70
00:04:32,906 --> 00:04:38,211
Keeping money around
attracts burglars.
71
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:40,348
Why?
72
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:43,083
Because that
is what responsible people do.
73
00:04:43,150 --> 00:04:45,953
What if the building was
to burn down, then where
would your money be?
74
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:48,422
Step into the 20th century.
75
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:52,059
But I don't know
about banks.
76
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:56,397
What's to know?
Why do I have to
explain everything?
77
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:59,433
Look, today on our lunch hour,
I'll take you to my bank.
78
00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:01,502
You'll put that money
in a checking account.
79
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,070
But this is my mad money.
80
00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:08,041
Do you mean my savings too?
Yes, yes, your savings too.
81
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:09,643
Everything.
Now get it.
82
00:05:21,789 --> 00:05:22,990
I got it.
83
00:05:24,425 --> 00:05:25,859
You'll never get it.
84
00:05:29,497 --> 00:05:32,900
LARRY:
Can we get on with this?
We're on our lunch break.
85
00:05:37,204 --> 00:05:39,940
Oh, I'm Harrison Har...per.
86
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:43,310
Uh, Balki would like to
open a checking account.
87
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:44,845
I know. Sit, sit.
88
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,950
All right, you've got your
Money Market Manager Account.
89
00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:51,685
Requires a thousand dollar
minimum balance.
90
00:05:51,752 --> 00:05:53,487
Includes check guarantee,
credit card,
91
00:05:53,554 --> 00:05:55,723
overdraft protection,
which means you can
write checks
92
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:59,259
up to $5000 over your balance
and a free color TV.
93
00:05:59,326 --> 00:06:01,729
Oh, I like that one.
94
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:04,398
Balki, I think that's a little
out of your league.
95
00:06:04,465 --> 00:06:06,567
What is my league?
Little League.
96
00:06:09,302 --> 00:06:11,104
Our Happy Saver Account.
97
00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,973
Requires a minimum balance
of two dollars
98
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,709
and you get a free
Freddy the Frog bag.
99
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,244
He'll take that one.
100
00:06:17,310 --> 00:06:19,146
Balki, give him your money.
101
00:06:22,115 --> 00:06:23,417
Just one moment.
102
00:06:26,386 --> 00:06:30,958
When I put my money here,
what are you
going to do with it?
103
00:06:31,024 --> 00:06:33,427
The same thing
they do with my money.
104
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:36,564
They loan it out
to other people for interest.
105
00:06:36,630 --> 00:06:38,298
They give my money
to other people
106
00:06:38,365 --> 00:06:40,033
just because it's interesting?
107
00:06:40,100 --> 00:06:43,136
No, no, no. Interest is
what people pay the bank
108
00:06:43,203 --> 00:06:44,705
so that they can use your money.
109
00:06:44,772 --> 00:06:48,609
Well, if they're using my money,
why don't they pay me?
110
00:06:49,943 --> 00:06:53,013
Well, the bank
performs a service.
111
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:56,016
For instance,
you could come here
and borrow money yourself.
112
00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,352
I could come to this bank
and borrow my own money
113
00:06:59,419 --> 00:07:01,054
and then pay them interest?
114
00:07:02,289 --> 00:07:03,824
Well, yes.
115
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,893
Provided you have good credit.
116
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,029
What that is?
117
00:07:11,965 --> 00:07:14,902
that you don't need to
borrow your own money.
118
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,607
Would you like
to explain this to him?
119
00:07:19,673 --> 00:07:21,909
Not on your life.
120
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:25,245
When my money is here,
who is going to be watching it?
121
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:27,147
Well, Mr. Harper will watch it.
122
00:07:27,214 --> 00:07:28,882
Like a hawk.
123
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,452
Well then, I'm going to need
some references from you.
124
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:36,990
Balki, give him your money.
125
00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:40,060
But how do I get my money
when I want to use it?
126
00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:42,496
The bank gives you nice checks
with pretty little pictures.
127
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:45,599
And when you wanna
buy something, all you have to
do is sign your name to a check.
128
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,467
That's all there is to it.
129
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:48,936
You mean,
when I want to spend money
130
00:07:49,002 --> 00:07:52,339
all I have to do
is sign my name to a check?
131
00:07:52,405 --> 00:07:55,876
Let's get this done
so that we can go back to work.
132
00:07:59,613 --> 00:08:01,414
Take good care of it.
133
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:02,750
We will.
134
00:08:06,820 --> 00:08:09,222
A hundred
and twenty
135
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,891
That's what
this ordeal is about?
136
00:08:10,958 --> 00:08:12,693
A hundred
and twenty
137
00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,095
Just take the money, please.
Yes, yes.
138
00:08:15,162 --> 00:08:17,965
If you'll just pick out
the style of checks you want,
139
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,568
we can wrap this up
during my lifetime.
140
00:08:22,770 --> 00:08:25,973
Rainbows.
I love rainbows.
141
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:27,240
Rainbows it is.
142
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,010
Flo-o-owers.
143
00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,145
Okay, flowers.
144
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:35,816
Puppies!
145
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:43,857
Lower.
146
00:08:44,658 --> 00:08:45,959
Lower.
147
00:08:46,026 --> 00:08:47,928
Ooh! Argh!
148
00:08:47,995 --> 00:08:49,129
Lower.
149
00:08:52,432 --> 00:08:53,867
Ho-ho-ho!
150
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:58,471
Balki Claus is coming to town.
151
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:01,474
And what does he have?
152
00:09:01,541 --> 00:09:04,044
An apple
for Larry Appleton.
153
00:09:06,714 --> 00:09:08,949
Where do I come up
with them?
154
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:13,754
And for you, Susan,
your favorite sugarless gum.
155
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:16,256
Oh, thank you, Balki.
156
00:09:16,323 --> 00:09:18,592
Balki, this is very nice.
What's the occasion?
157
00:09:18,659 --> 00:09:21,795
Is today Mypos Apple
and Gum Day?
158
00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:26,834
Ask me how I paid
for these things.
159
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:29,302
Balki, how did you
pay for these things?
160
00:09:29,369 --> 00:09:31,071
I wrote...
161
00:09:31,138 --> 00:09:32,572
Checks.
162
00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:37,611
They came today.
163
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:42,650
Of course not.
Don't be ridiculous.
164
00:09:42,716 --> 00:09:46,620
I also got you
this nice bug light.
165
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,521
Well, I'm touched.
166
00:09:48,588 --> 00:09:50,157
Appleton, front and center!
167
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:52,726
I'm planning a real big
poker game tonight.
168
00:09:52,793 --> 00:09:55,796
Oh, uh, thank you,
Mr. Twinkacetti,
169
00:09:55,863 --> 00:09:57,865
but, no, I don't play poker.
170
00:09:58,732 --> 00:10:00,167
I wasn't inviting you.
171
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:07,307
Look, Appleton,
my wife hates for me to gamble.
172
00:10:07,374 --> 00:10:08,608
Tonight. Got it?
173
00:10:08,676 --> 00:10:11,679
So, if it ever comes up,
I was with you.
174
00:10:11,745 --> 00:10:16,950
Uh...
175
00:10:17,017 --> 00:10:20,688
Hey, I'm asking
for a favor.
176
00:10:20,754 --> 00:10:22,622
Man to man.
177
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,692
Men do those things
for each other.
178
00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:26,559
Some men in the
Nixon White House
179
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,762
did those things
for each other.
180
00:10:28,829 --> 00:10:31,398
You leave my heroes
out of this.
181
00:10:31,464 --> 00:10:34,201
You know, lying to your wife
is really terrible.
182
00:10:34,267 --> 00:10:36,937
News flash, sweet cheeks.
The ERA is dead.
183
00:10:37,004 --> 00:10:39,306
You lost.
Bow and get out.
184
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,442
Can I be candid?
185
00:10:47,748 --> 00:10:49,082
Now, come on, Appleton, huh?
186
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:51,952
It's part of the code
of the male brotherhood.
187
00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:54,087
What is this
male brotherhood?
188
00:10:54,154 --> 00:10:56,156
Don't worry.
No turnips allowed.
189
00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,960
It's okay, Balki.
190
00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:05,665
Forget it,
Mr. Twinkacetti.
191
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:07,000
I won't forget this.
192
00:11:07,835 --> 00:11:10,871
Oh, I just remembered.
193
00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:15,108
I want you to pick it up.
Shouldn't take you
more than a whole day.
194
00:11:15,175 --> 00:11:16,877
Mr. Twinkacetti.
195
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,479
Cousin Larry has a bad back.
196
00:11:19,546 --> 00:11:21,214
Even better.
197
00:11:23,183 --> 00:11:25,052
Cousin,
I'll do this for you.
198
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,654
Don't worry. I know
the correct way to lift
199
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:29,422
without putting stress
on my back.
200
00:11:29,489 --> 00:11:30,623
Ow!
201
00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,459
Cousin, would you please
let me fix this?
202
00:11:32,525 --> 00:11:35,162
No, I'm okay.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
203
00:11:38,131 --> 00:11:41,268
I'm, uh, looking for
a "Balki Bartokomous."
204
00:11:41,334 --> 00:11:43,603
Yeah.
That's him over there.
205
00:11:43,670 --> 00:11:45,405
The one
who can stand erect.
206
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:49,076
BALKI:
Oh, wonderful!
207
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:50,811
My cousin
will be so happy.
208
00:11:50,878 --> 00:11:54,882
Yeah, yeah,
all I want is $3028.43.
209
00:11:54,948 --> 00:11:59,019
No problem.
I have checks.
210
00:12:08,061 --> 00:12:12,766
* Touch me in the morning
211
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:17,237
* Then just walk away
212
00:12:17,304 --> 00:12:21,741
* We don't have tomorrow... *
213
00:12:23,510 --> 00:12:26,113
Twinkacetti cannot beat me.
214
00:12:30,984 --> 00:12:35,889
I just moved 12 tons
of bodybuilding equipment...
215
00:12:36,957 --> 00:12:38,926
By myself.
216
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:42,429
It was tough.
217
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:47,434
But I'm a better person for it.
218
00:12:54,641 --> 00:12:57,610
You also look shorter.
219
00:12:57,677 --> 00:13:02,215
That's because every vertebra
in my body is compressed.
220
00:13:04,551 --> 00:13:05,953
Oh, boy.
221
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:10,057
Oh, boy, oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
222
00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:24,304
Surprise.
223
00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,740
I bought you new furniture.
224
00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,310
It's a present
from me to you.
225
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:53,333
Oh, I can't believe
you did this.
226
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:57,270
I can't believe you did this.
Oh.
227
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:01,074
I know. I can hardly
believe it myself.
228
00:14:04,744 --> 00:14:09,883
Balki... Let... Let me make
something absolutely clear.
229
00:14:10,750 --> 00:14:12,685
See, my furniture was...
230
00:14:12,752 --> 00:14:15,722
Well, well...
It was my furniture.
231
00:14:15,788 --> 00:14:19,626
And this furniture is not.
232
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,331
Oh. You don't like it?
233
00:14:24,397 --> 00:14:26,967
No, no, no, it's not that
I don't like it.
234
00:14:28,835 --> 00:14:31,271
Yes, it is.
I don't like it.
235
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:37,277
Well, but you complained
about your broken sofa
236
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:39,579
and you don't like
your old furniture
237
00:14:39,646 --> 00:14:42,882
and I just wanted
to give you something.
238
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:49,522
Balki. Balki, you got rid of my
things. My things, My things!
239
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:52,259
I got it.
No, no, no, you don't got it.
240
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:55,195
You've got to understand.
Look, look.
241
00:14:59,199 --> 00:15:01,201
I'm gonna tell you something
about my upbringing
242
00:15:01,268 --> 00:15:02,835
that I've never told you.
243
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:07,607
You are?
Yes.
244
00:15:07,674 --> 00:15:11,144
You told me that.
245
00:15:11,211 --> 00:15:12,545
BOTH:
A lot of money.
246
00:15:12,612 --> 00:15:13,880
You told me that.
247
00:15:13,947 --> 00:15:15,882
We grew up
in a middle-class house...
248
00:15:15,949 --> 00:15:20,287
BOTH:
In Madison, Wisconsin--
249
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:22,122
Sorry.
250
00:15:22,189 --> 00:15:24,624
The point is,
with all those kids,
251
00:15:24,691 --> 00:15:29,896
nothing was ever really yours.
252
00:15:29,963 --> 00:15:33,133
So when I moved here,
see, I bought this furniture...
253
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:35,135
Well, not this furniture.
254
00:15:35,202 --> 00:15:37,170
But my own furniture.
255
00:15:37,237 --> 00:15:39,572
It was used,
it was a little uncomfortable,
256
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:41,408
but it was all mine.
257
00:15:41,474 --> 00:15:45,645
And then, tonight...
I... I come home...
258
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:52,452
You've taken away my toys.
259
00:15:54,921 --> 00:15:57,957
Oh, how sad.
260
00:15:58,025 --> 00:16:02,529
Intellectually, I know, I know.
I'm overly possessive.
261
00:16:02,595 --> 00:16:04,131
Almost neurotic about it.
262
00:16:04,197 --> 00:16:06,166
You are not.
I'm not?
263
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:08,935
Of course not.
264
00:16:09,002 --> 00:16:11,904
Erotic?
Don't be ridiculous.
265
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:16,476
Neurotic, neurotic, neurotic!
Okay. Don't get crazy.
266
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:20,813
Wait a minute.
267
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,650
Where'd you get the money
to pay for all this stuff?
268
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:26,586
Oh, that was no problem.
I just wrote a check.
269
00:16:27,654 --> 00:16:30,390
You wrote a check?
For how much?
270
00:16:30,457 --> 00:16:33,160
$3028.43.
271
00:16:33,226 --> 00:16:34,694
Three thou...
272
00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,664
Good deal, huh?
273
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,701
They even threw in
these plastic flowers.
274
00:16:41,768 --> 00:16:43,903
Balki, Balki, Balki.
275
00:16:43,970 --> 00:16:49,209
You only had $128,
less the pack of gum,
apple and bug light.
276
00:16:49,276 --> 00:16:51,044
Yes, but the man
at the bank said
277
00:16:51,111 --> 00:16:54,514
I can write checks for more
money than I have
as long as I...
278
00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,549
No.
...pay it back someday.
279
00:16:56,616 --> 00:16:58,085
No, no, no. No.
280
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,852
That's the Money Market
Manager Account.
281
00:16:59,919 --> 00:17:01,521
You have
the Happy Saver Account.
282
00:17:01,588 --> 00:17:03,590
Don't you understand
anything about banking?
283
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:08,728
In Mypos, money
is not that important.
284
00:17:08,795 --> 00:17:11,798
Two chickens is a pig,
two pigs is a cow
285
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,566
and two cows is a fortune.
286
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:19,339
You're the one that
made me go to a bank
and got me all confused.
287
00:17:19,406 --> 00:17:22,242
Yeah, yeah, okay.
Oh, sure! Argh! Ooh!
288
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:25,478
Yeah, blame it on me.
Yes, why didn't I see it before?
289
00:17:25,545 --> 00:17:28,548
Yes, it's all my fault
and I'll burn in hell for it.
290
00:17:29,949 --> 00:17:31,684
Boy, you're taking this hard.
291
00:17:35,255 --> 00:17:37,390
You wrote a check
for $3000 more than you have.
292
00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,659
You don't wanna go to prison
for this furniture.
293
00:17:41,828 --> 00:17:44,131
You're right.
It's my fault.
294
00:17:44,197 --> 00:17:46,599
No, look, look.
It's not your fault.
295
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:50,303
I made you get that bank account
and I didn't take the time
296
00:17:50,370 --> 00:17:52,038
to explain the basics.
297
00:17:52,105 --> 00:17:56,709
It's not a big deal.
298
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:59,179
Now what did you do with it?
Oh, that's no problem.
299
00:17:59,246 --> 00:18:01,348
I sold it to Mr. Twinkacetti.
300
00:18:03,383 --> 00:18:05,852
You sold it to Twinkacetti?
301
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:11,158
You sold my chair, my sofa,
my coffee table, my lamp?
302
00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:14,327
My rug?
You sold my lucky rug?
303
00:18:16,696 --> 00:18:18,865
Is this neurotic?
Yes.
304
00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:21,434
Yes, and so is this.
305
00:18:33,146 --> 00:18:35,148
That's my lamp.
306
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:37,217
We better hustle our buttocks.
307
00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,854
Those pinches paid off.
308
00:18:41,921 --> 00:18:44,357
Good morning, turnips.
Boy, am I a lucky guy.
309
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,693
Last night,
I won $600 in the poker game.
310
00:18:46,759 --> 00:18:49,028
And this junk
will be gone before lunch.
311
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:51,331
Mr. Twinkacetti,
I'm gonna buy back my furniture
312
00:18:51,398 --> 00:18:53,366
for what you paid Balki for it.
313
00:18:53,433 --> 00:18:55,368
Come on, Appleton.
314
00:18:55,435 --> 00:18:57,837
You think I could sell
this elegant decor
315
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,806
for a measly 75 bucks?
316
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,107
Seventy
317
00:19:01,174 --> 00:19:03,676
You sold my furniture
for 75 bucks?
318
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,846
Well, it made sense when
Mr. Twinkacetti explained it.
319
00:19:07,847 --> 00:19:08,915
I'll bet it did.
320
00:19:08,981 --> 00:19:11,284
You can't do this to me.
It's not fair.
321
00:19:11,351 --> 00:19:13,052
Oh, you're right.
322
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:15,255
I shouldn't take advantage
of a fellow member
323
00:19:15,322 --> 00:19:21,994
of the male brotherhood.
324
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:24,431
And I owe him nothing.
325
00:19:24,497 --> 00:19:27,767
Zip, as in the big O.
326
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,805
My God, my wife.
327
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:36,509
Edwina, my pet.
What a cherished moment.
328
00:19:39,746 --> 00:19:43,316
Hello, Mrs. Twinkacetti.
Oh, nice to see you, Larry.
329
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:45,385
And this must be Balki.
330
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:50,890
I have heard so much about you.
331
00:19:50,957 --> 00:19:53,393
Well, I have heard
so much about you too
332
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:55,795
and I don't
believe half of it.
333
00:19:59,566 --> 00:20:02,101
We kid around.
334
00:20:02,168 --> 00:20:05,137
Did you enjoy going to the
basketball game with my husband?
335
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,641
Basketball?
Loved it. Loved it.
336
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,043
Remember, turnip?
Bouncy, bouncy.
337
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:14,213
Why don't we step
into the office? I got
fresh coffee. We'll talk...
338
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,015
Balki, don't you see
what happened?
339
00:20:16,082 --> 00:20:19,552
Mr. Twinkacetti told his wife
he was with you last night.
340
00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,489
Oh!
341
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:24,991
Oh, boy.
342
00:20:28,328 --> 00:20:30,797
Oh, so now I'm a member?
343
00:20:30,863 --> 00:20:33,466
Are you kidding?
You're a lieutenant.
344
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:36,669
How much do you like me?
345
00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,938
Like you?
I'd give you a kidney.
346
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:42,509
You'll cover for me,
won't you, Balki?
347
00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,911
Do you mind
if I call you Turnip?
348
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:51,751
Watch and learn.
349
00:20:51,818 --> 00:20:55,488
I'll give you $65
for this furniture, Turnip.
350
00:20:57,023 --> 00:20:58,858
Two hundred.
351
00:20:58,925 --> 00:21:00,259
One seventy-five.
352
00:21:04,831 --> 00:21:06,766
One dollar.
353
00:21:06,833 --> 00:21:08,801
EDWINA: Donald?
Sold.
354
00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:14,040
Donald, the strangest thing.
355
00:21:14,106 --> 00:21:17,510
I found $600
in your office
356
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,912
hidden behind
your photo of Gordon Liddy.
357
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,783
You should keep
your money in a bank.
358
00:21:25,585 --> 00:21:28,120
Oh, I feel terrible.
I was thinking...
359
00:21:28,187 --> 00:21:30,357
I was thinking
that you probably didn't go
360
00:21:30,423 --> 00:21:32,325
to a basketball game
last night.
361
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,160
You know,
for one crazy moment
362
00:21:34,226 --> 00:21:38,130
I suspected you of playing poker
with your sleazy friends.
363
00:21:42,435 --> 00:21:44,604
But I know
that couldn't be true
364
00:21:44,671 --> 00:21:48,274
because our marriage
is based on mutual trust.
365
00:21:48,341 --> 00:21:51,077
And if you ever
violate that trust,
366
00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,580
I'll break your
chubby little legs.
367
00:21:58,918 --> 00:22:00,787
We kid around.
368
00:22:00,853 --> 00:22:03,423
Darling, I want you
to watch me spend your money.
369
00:22:03,490 --> 00:22:05,392
Oh, no.
Goodbye, boys.
370
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,693
Bye-bye now.
371
00:22:08,995 --> 00:22:10,663
You did good.
372
00:22:10,730 --> 00:22:13,766
Thank you.
I have a dark side.
373
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,772
Well, help me
get this furniture upstairs.
374
00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:22,842
And tonight, I'll teach you
how to balance your checkbook.
375
00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:27,113
Okay. Then I teach you
how to balance a broom
on your nose.
376
00:22:30,583 --> 00:22:32,452
Oh! Argh! Ooh!
377
00:22:32,519 --> 00:22:34,554
Cousin, your back
is still hurting.
378
00:22:34,621 --> 00:22:37,390
I think it's time
I took your back by the horns.
379
00:22:37,457 --> 00:22:38,958
Oh, Balki. Whoa!
380
00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:44,797
Balki. My back.
It doesn't hurt.
381
00:22:44,864 --> 00:22:47,467
Of course not!
Balki fixed it.
382
00:22:47,534 --> 00:22:49,636
Huh. That's incredible.
Yes.
383
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:52,204
Of course, sometimes
there are side effects.
384
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:55,642
Balki... I can't move my arms.
385
00:22:57,343 --> 00:22:59,512
That's one of them.
386
00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:05,084
Now what?
27604
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