All language subtitles for Key And Peele s03e05 Obama Shutdown.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:11,828 - [Inhales] Ripped By mstoll 2 00:00:11,911 --> 00:00:14,932 [Exhales] 3 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:16,210 - Hey, you know what? 4 00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:17,734 Let me hit that. 5 00:00:18,685 --> 00:00:20,804 - Really? - I can handle it. 6 00:00:21,242 --> 00:00:24,174 - I am certain that you cannot. 7 00:00:24,257 --> 00:00:26,750 - Nah, come on, I smoked a ton of weed in the '90s. 8 00:00:27,710 --> 00:00:29,212 - Right, the '90s. 9 00:00:29,404 --> 00:00:32,694 Um, you know, weed has gotten a lot stronger since then. 10 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:35,452 - You honestly think it's gotten so much stronger 11 00:00:35,535 --> 00:00:36,753 that I just flat-out can't handle it? 12 00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:37,754 You think I'm such a lightweight, 13 00:00:37,837 --> 00:00:39,222 that if I take one puff... 14 00:00:39,305 --> 00:00:40,824 - Keegan, you already took a puff an hour ago. 15 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:43,914 We've had the same conversation 15 times in a row. 16 00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,101 Yeah. 17 00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,574 [Flicks lighter] 18 00:00:52,585 --> 00:00:55,179 [Inhales] 19 00:00:58,224 --> 00:00:59,910 - Hey, you know what? Let me hit that. 20 00:00:59,993 --> 00:01:00,937 - Really? 21 00:01:01,021 --> 00:01:03,980 [Soul music] 22 00:01:04,063 --> 00:01:12,061 23 00:01:14,858 --> 00:01:16,559 Resync BluRay by LeRalouf 24 00:01:22,048 --> 00:01:24,448 [cheers and applause] 25 00:01:28,188 --> 00:01:29,439 Thank you. 26 00:01:29,522 --> 00:01:31,341 - Thank you so much for coming out. 27 00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,210 I am Keegan-Michael Key. - I'm Jordan Peele. 28 00:01:33,293 --> 00:01:34,945 - And we are Key and Peele. - Yes, we are. 29 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,214 - So thank you for coming. 30 00:01:37,297 --> 00:01:38,682 Thank you, thank you, thank you. 31 00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,951 - We wanna talk about the ladies for a second. 32 00:01:41,034 --> 00:01:42,219 - We wanna talk about them and to them. 33 00:01:42,302 --> 00:01:44,721 - Hey. - Hey! 34 00:01:44,804 --> 00:01:45,664 [Laughter] 35 00:01:45,748 --> 00:01:48,692 Guys, have you ever just woken up in trouble somehow? 36 00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:52,963 Like, "How did I get in trouble during an unconscious state?" 37 00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,030 - You just walk... sometimes, you'll just walk 38 00:01:54,113 --> 00:01:55,499 into the kitchen in the morning, 39 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:56,700 just be like, "Hey, what's going on? 40 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,398 You look nice." - Yeah. 41 00:01:58,816 --> 00:02:00,101 What does that mean? 42 00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:05,342 - You look nice, Meegan. I'm saying you look nice. 43 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:08,195 - What, was I fucking ugly yesterday? 44 00:02:08,995 --> 00:02:11,048 - No, I'm saying you look good today. 45 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,549 That's all I'm saying! 46 00:02:12,632 --> 00:02:13,884 - So what am I gonna look like tomorrow? 47 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,086 A monster? - No... What? No. 48 00:02:16,169 --> 00:02:18,388 I'm just saying you're probably gonna look great tomorrow too. 49 00:02:18,471 --> 00:02:20,369 - Probably? What the hell is "probably"? 50 00:02:20,453 --> 00:02:21,925 - I don't... 51 00:02:22,008 --> 00:02:24,094 - I mean, you're sure I'm beautiful, or you're not. 52 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:26,563 - I am... I'm sure that you're fucking beautiful. 53 00:02:26,646 --> 00:02:28,565 - You don't sound sure. 54 00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:31,134 - I said "fucking." What more... How more serious can I be? 55 00:02:31,217 --> 00:02:32,836 - Oh. Oh, nice. 56 00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:34,337 That's your answer for everything, isn't it? 57 00:02:34,420 --> 00:02:35,672 Isn't it? Sex? - What? 58 00:02:35,755 --> 00:02:38,773 I didn't say anything about sex! 59 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,804 - You didn't have to. 60 00:02:49,602 --> 00:02:52,522 [Jazz music] 61 00:02:52,605 --> 00:03:00,603 62 00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,182 [clears throat] 63 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:08,105 - Oh, honey, I am tired. 64 00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:10,941 I am going to bed. Good night. 65 00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,611 - Uh, well... 66 00:03:14,694 --> 00:03:15,635 [laughs] 67 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,932 - Is everything okay? 68 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:20,801 - Well, it's, uh... 69 00:03:20,885 --> 00:03:25,112 It's just that I was hoping that... 70 00:03:25,869 --> 00:03:26,981 well, that we could... 71 00:03:27,065 --> 00:03:29,674 and I-I wanna make this clear. 72 00:03:30,576 --> 00:03:33,129 I want to be straightforward. 73 00:03:33,212 --> 00:03:36,233 I want to have... 74 00:03:36,316 --> 00:03:37,634 - Okay. Uh, Luther? 75 00:03:37,717 --> 00:03:39,643 Are you available to translate? 76 00:03:39,727 --> 00:03:40,690 - Yes, ma'am. 77 00:03:41,487 --> 00:03:42,604 [Clears throat] 78 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:46,604 - I really was hoping we could spend some time together. 79 00:03:46,688 --> 00:03:48,887 - When was the last time we had sex, woman? 80 00:03:48,971 --> 00:03:50,033 Reelection night? 81 00:03:50,117 --> 00:03:51,814 What does a brother not named Bill Clinton 82 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,994 have to do to get some pussy in this house? 83 00:03:54,212 --> 00:03:57,920 - Well, you have been very busy lately. 84 00:03:58,004 --> 00:04:00,174 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You know what? 85 00:04:00,691 --> 00:04:02,925 If I could j... Can we get your translator? 86 00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:05,500 - Oh, yes, certainly. Uh, Katendra? 87 00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:09,911 - Yeah, honey? 88 00:04:10,049 --> 00:04:11,334 - Could you please translate 89 00:04:11,417 --> 00:04:14,073 "well, you have been very busy lately"? 90 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:15,338 - Sure. 91 00:04:15,815 --> 00:04:17,607 My pussy ain't one of your limousines 92 00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:19,009 that you can jump in and out of 93 00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:20,715 whenever you feel like. 94 00:04:20,799 --> 00:04:22,779 I don't see you all day, 95 00:04:22,862 --> 00:04:24,565 then you want a booty call? 96 00:04:24,993 --> 00:04:27,666 I need an emotional connection, nigga. 97 00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:30,320 - Thought this was romantic. 98 00:04:30,403 --> 00:04:33,390 - I'm fucking trying, bitch! Can't you see? 99 00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:35,058 I'm playing the romantic music. 100 00:04:35,141 --> 00:04:36,830 I got the Pinot in the glasses. 101 00:04:36,914 --> 00:04:38,460 What more do you want from me? 102 00:04:38,544 --> 00:04:40,994 An engraved invitation from my nuts? 103 00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:43,900 - Maybe we should make a date. 104 00:04:43,983 --> 00:04:45,168 - What am I supposed to do, 105 00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:46,670 jump out of my clothes every time 106 00:04:46,753 --> 00:04:48,721 little Barry stands at attention? 107 00:04:48,815 --> 00:04:51,518 You ain't my commander in chief, motherfucker, 108 00:04:51,602 --> 00:04:54,576 and my vagina ain't some cave in the Middle East 109 00:04:54,660 --> 00:04:56,746 you can fly your heat-seeking missile into 110 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:58,580 whenever you feel like it. 111 00:04:59,260 --> 00:05:02,152 - Well, I did mean to call you, 112 00:05:02,235 --> 00:05:04,321 but I had meetings all day long. 113 00:05:04,404 --> 00:05:07,385 - I'm dealing with these motherfucking Republicans, 114 00:05:07,469 --> 00:05:09,492 hearing "no, no, no" all day long. 115 00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:11,328 Then I come home, and you're not gonna let me 116 00:05:11,411 --> 00:05:13,163 get my jam on up in here? 117 00:05:13,526 --> 00:05:17,127 - Well, you know, I have had a busy day too. 118 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,190 - You act like I ain't got nothing else to do, nigga. 119 00:05:20,274 --> 00:05:24,323 I got these obese motherfuckers on my ass 24/7. 120 00:05:24,573 --> 00:05:27,307 What's more important... you getting your wick dipped 121 00:05:27,391 --> 00:05:30,978 or some eight-year-old fat-ass collapsing in his bunk bed? 122 00:05:31,096 --> 00:05:32,143 - Okay. 123 00:05:32,227 --> 00:05:34,674 - You seem to be forgetting job number one. 124 00:05:34,758 --> 00:05:37,278 You are my secretary of pussy, bitch! 125 00:05:37,362 --> 00:05:39,073 Get to work! 126 00:05:39,542 --> 00:05:41,088 - You. [Chuckles] 127 00:05:48,318 --> 00:05:52,035 [Moaning] 128 00:05:52,118 --> 00:05:54,604 - Luther? Katendra? - Yes, sir. 129 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:55,972 - We'll... we'll take it from here. 130 00:05:56,055 --> 00:05:57,540 - Absolutely, yes, sir. - Yes, ma'am. 131 00:05:57,623 --> 00:05:59,568 - Thank you. - Good night. Good night, ma'am. 132 00:05:59,652 --> 00:06:01,171 - [Laughs] 133 00:06:01,592 --> 00:06:03,613 - Come here. - [Chuckles] 134 00:06:03,873 --> 00:06:05,782 Oh, this feels good. 135 00:06:05,865 --> 00:06:07,717 - Um, Mom? Dad? 136 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:09,789 I know you already said that I can't go, 137 00:06:09,873 --> 00:06:11,788 but can I please go to the party tonight? 138 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:14,990 - Malia, use your translator. 139 00:06:15,702 --> 00:06:17,388 - If you don't let me go to this party, 140 00:06:17,472 --> 00:06:19,240 I will get a tattoo 141 00:06:19,420 --> 00:06:20,803 on my face. 142 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,029 - Have fun. 143 00:06:24,194 --> 00:06:26,046 [Soul music] 144 00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:29,105 - The Second Amendment of the Constitution states 145 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:32,242 that a well-regulated militia, being necessary 146 00:06:32,325 --> 00:06:33,943 for the security of a free state, 147 00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:37,113 the right of the people to keep and bear arms 148 00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,717 shall not be infringed. 149 00:06:38,801 --> 00:06:40,286 - Hear, hear. - Yes. 150 00:06:40,370 --> 00:06:43,190 - Please, gentlemen, we need all of your signatures. 151 00:06:43,274 --> 00:06:45,226 - Gentlemen. 152 00:06:45,310 --> 00:06:48,130 A point of order. 153 00:06:48,214 --> 00:06:51,401 What if someone made a gun 154 00:06:51,485 --> 00:06:53,162 that could shoot, say, 155 00:06:53,579 --> 00:06:56,375 50 people in 30 seconds? 156 00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:58,768 [Laughter] 157 00:06:58,851 --> 00:07:02,164 - Congressman Peele, we have many orders of business today, 158 00:07:02,248 --> 00:07:05,408 one of which is not judging your sense of humor, 159 00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:06,711 prodigious as it may be. 160 00:07:06,795 --> 00:07:09,379 [Laughter] 161 00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:11,123 - Then one man 162 00:07:12,037 --> 00:07:14,417 would be able to walk into a crowded area 163 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:17,620 and kill scores upon scores of people 164 00:07:17,703 --> 00:07:21,084 before anyone would have a chance to stop him. 165 00:07:23,513 --> 00:07:24,728 - Congressman Peele, 166 00:07:25,209 --> 00:07:28,092 where are you getting these harebrained ideas? 167 00:07:28,404 --> 00:07:32,936 How could you possibly know what the future holds? 168 00:07:33,060 --> 00:07:36,639 [Dramatic music] 169 00:07:36,722 --> 00:07:40,609 - Because I am from the future. 170 00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:42,379 I know what this amendment will bring, 171 00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:45,076 and I cannot let any of you sign it. 172 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,154 [Gunfire] [Screaming] 173 00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:59,235 174 00:08:16,195 --> 00:08:17,580 [sighs] 175 00:08:17,663 --> 00:08:18,980 I did it. 176 00:08:19,332 --> 00:08:23,286 - Did you see the... the muskets he had? 177 00:08:23,933 --> 00:08:25,334 - Magnificent. 178 00:08:25,418 --> 00:08:28,105 Hand me the quill, so I can draw them before I forget. 179 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,551 - Damn it. 180 00:08:37,917 --> 00:08:41,604 - Um, any basketball fans in the house tonight? 181 00:08:41,687 --> 00:08:43,006 [Cheers and applause] 182 00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,607 This is Los Angeles, home of the Lakers, 183 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,042 home of the Clippers. 184 00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:48,478 - Basketball is mesmerizing to us 185 00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,947 because it... besides... except for soldiers, 186 00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,558 athletes are like the toughest dudes we have. 187 00:08:52,642 --> 00:08:53,560 - Exactly. - Right? 188 00:08:53,644 --> 00:08:54,484 They're just big, tough, 189 00:08:54,567 --> 00:08:56,803 you know, masculine, physical dudes. 190 00:08:56,887 --> 00:08:58,418 Why they always be flopping? 191 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:01,560 - You'll see dudes not anywhere near another guy flopping. 192 00:09:01,644 --> 00:09:03,076 - Yeah. - You'll see a dude coming down. 193 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,327 My man's like pop, pop, pop, pop. 194 00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:05,562 He's coming down the court. He's like... 195 00:09:05,645 --> 00:09:06,696 - Dude over here, blocking him. 196 00:09:06,779 --> 00:09:08,565 - [Mutters] 197 00:09:08,648 --> 00:09:11,067 - Oh, see, now... - Come on... come on, man. 198 00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,902 - This dude. Oh. 199 00:09:12,985 --> 00:09:14,535 - Me? 200 00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:17,807 [Screams] 201 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,476 Me? 202 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:22,691 Oh, no, but no. But, ref, but how? 203 00:09:23,222 --> 00:09:25,915 That's against physics, y'all. That's against physics. 204 00:09:25,998 --> 00:09:27,550 - This dude's getting a free throw shot. 205 00:09:27,633 --> 00:09:29,686 I'm gonna take my foul shot right here. 206 00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:31,221 - Ooh. - No. No. 207 00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,933 I didn't do nothing. - Oh, no! 208 00:09:34,808 --> 00:09:37,623 - Still scoreless with only a few moments remaining. 209 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,330 Travino passes to Federnoir. 210 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:41,998 Slide tackle by Gozurp. 211 00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:44,248 Clearly a flop there. No contact made. 212 00:09:44,332 --> 00:09:46,903 [Operatic music] 213 00:09:46,986 --> 00:09:49,572 214 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,074 [whistle blows] 215 00:09:51,157 --> 00:09:59,155 216 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:36,166 [heart beating] 217 00:10:54,186 --> 00:10:57,774 [Heart stops beating] 218 00:10:57,857 --> 00:11:05,855 219 00:11:20,746 --> 00:11:22,599 [cheers and applause] 220 00:11:22,682 --> 00:11:30,680 221 00:11:42,234 --> 00:11:45,154 It all comes down to this as the Power Falcons 222 00:11:45,237 --> 00:11:46,889 prepare to take the free kick. 223 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:48,791 This is the last chance to win the game. 224 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,827 These are the dying seconds of the match. 225 00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:58,908 226 00:12:06,002 --> 00:12:08,885 And what is this? Can you believe it? 227 00:12:08,969 --> 00:12:10,646 Federnoir is back on the pitch. 228 00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,849 He's alive, and he's taking the free kick. 229 00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:17,043 He shoots. He scores. Oh, my! 230 00:12:17,127 --> 00:12:20,465 So many rules clearly broken leading up to that goal, 231 00:12:20,549 --> 00:12:22,158 but they've allowed it. 232 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:25,729 Power Falcons win this match! 233 00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:31,401 [Soul music] 234 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:32,835 - You ever at a party, 235 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,337 and people are just having a conversation 236 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,386 that's just impossible to break into? 237 00:12:36,558 --> 00:12:38,241 - Yes, yeah, yeah, yes. 238 00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:40,877 - Sometimes breaking into a conversation, it's difficult, 239 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,913 like getting into a double Dutch jump rope session. 240 00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:45,081 - Yeah, exactly. - You know what I mean? 241 00:12:45,164 --> 00:12:46,749 You gotta pick the right spot. 242 00:12:46,832 --> 00:12:48,518 - Or people will look at you weird, just like... 243 00:12:48,601 --> 00:12:50,286 I think the Oakland Raiders 244 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,055 Might be good this year 245 00:12:52,138 --> 00:12:55,091 This might be the year, they got a new dude 246 00:12:55,174 --> 00:12:56,592 He's playing quarterback 247 00:12:56,675 --> 00:12:58,561 And he's the one that I think 248 00:12:58,644 --> 00:13:00,229 Could bring them back - We'll wait for it. 249 00:13:00,312 --> 00:13:03,199 - We are the team to beat in the AFC 250 00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:06,153 Forget San Diego, the Chargers are the worst 251 00:13:06,237 --> 00:13:08,204 - I don't watch football I don't watch football 252 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:10,306 I am more of a basketball... 253 00:13:10,389 --> 00:13:11,941 Oh, my God. Oh! 254 00:13:12,024 --> 00:13:16,245 [Groans] 255 00:13:16,328 --> 00:13:20,287 [All moaning] 256 00:13:22,574 --> 00:13:24,454 Oh! [Laughs] 257 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,822 Hi. 258 00:13:25,905 --> 00:13:28,424 I wasn't expecting to see you 259 00:13:28,507 --> 00:13:30,975 all undulating up here. 260 00:13:31,059 --> 00:13:33,796 I-I just put my jacket on the bed 261 00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:35,431 when I first came to the party, 262 00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:37,734 but I didn't realize that the party 263 00:13:37,817 --> 00:13:39,168 made its way up here. 264 00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:40,470 But I'll get that now. 265 00:13:40,553 --> 00:13:42,090 I will, if you... 266 00:13:42,174 --> 00:13:45,273 Carol, I don't know if you're in there somewhere, 267 00:13:45,357 --> 00:13:47,009 but wherever you are, 268 00:13:47,092 --> 00:13:48,511 thank you for the invitation. 269 00:13:48,594 --> 00:13:49,812 I really enjoyed myself. 270 00:13:49,895 --> 00:13:51,447 I'll see you at work tomorrow. 271 00:13:51,530 --> 00:13:53,616 Okay, hey, sir, I think I see my jacket. 272 00:13:53,699 --> 00:13:56,018 I think... I think your arm is in the sleeve, actually. 273 00:13:56,101 --> 00:13:58,955 I'll grab... That's not my jacket, and that's not your arm. 274 00:13:59,038 --> 00:14:01,524 It's not your arm. White people are crazy. 275 00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:04,654 White people are crazy. Just looking for a jacket. 276 00:14:04,738 --> 00:14:07,129 Sir, okay, yes, very nice mustache. 277 00:14:07,213 --> 00:14:08,798 I've never seen one above the nose. 278 00:14:08,881 --> 00:14:11,000 That's interesting. That's not your nose. 279 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,969 Okay. Sorry to disturb you, sir. 280 00:14:13,052 --> 00:14:14,615 Just looking for a jacket, 281 00:14:14,699 --> 00:14:16,472 just an ordinary man looking for a jacket. 282 00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:18,076 You wanna say something to me, sir? 283 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,041 Are you try... Oh, wait a minute. 284 00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:21,477 Mm-mm. No, thank you very much, sir. 285 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:24,347 It tasted a little bit like salty butthole, but that's okay. 286 00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:26,883 It's tweed, the jacket I'm talking about, 287 00:14:26,966 --> 00:14:28,451 and it's got leather patches on it. 288 00:14:28,534 --> 00:14:30,119 Just... Oh, maybe this is it. 289 00:14:30,202 --> 00:14:32,388 Thank you, found it, and... Nope, that's not it, 290 00:14:32,471 --> 00:14:33,823 but congratulations, ma'am. 291 00:14:33,906 --> 00:14:36,842 You are doing great with what God gave you. 292 00:14:36,926 --> 00:14:38,995 Nope, don't look at me in the eyes, ma'am. 293 00:14:39,078 --> 00:14:40,983 I don't want you to steal my soul. 294 00:14:41,067 --> 00:14:42,865 Hi, ladies. Very nice to meet you. 295 00:14:42,948 --> 00:14:44,467 And, sir, yes, I do see you too. 296 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,678 Okay, yes. White people are crazy. 297 00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:50,311 Oh, no, I'm... I'm okay. I really am. 298 00:14:50,395 --> 00:14:53,176 I'm already seeing a-a group of people, 299 00:14:53,259 --> 00:14:54,577 and we're taking it slowly. 300 00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,053 We are taking it slowly. It's a church. 301 00:14:57,137 --> 00:14:58,681 Maybe some of y'all would be interested 302 00:14:58,764 --> 00:15:00,059 in looking into that. 303 00:15:00,143 --> 00:15:02,885 Not mine, but one somewhere, if that's... 304 00:15:02,968 --> 00:15:04,720 Okay, thank you, ma'am, for... 305 00:15:04,803 --> 00:15:06,155 There it is. I found it. 306 00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,857 Found the jacket. It's right here. 307 00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:09,225 I'ma pull it, and I believe 308 00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:11,994 it might be lost somewhere within you. 309 00:15:12,077 --> 00:15:13,362 I'm just guessing because that 310 00:15:13,445 --> 00:15:16,498 is just a little bit of resistance. 311 00:15:16,582 --> 00:15:17,867 All right, there we go. 312 00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:20,735 And you know what? That is going to be yours. 313 00:15:20,819 --> 00:15:22,772 Keep it, thank you. Cover yourself up. 314 00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:25,441 Carol, if you're in there, I'll see you at the office tomorrow. 315 00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:27,710 Just bring the bowl. You can finish the egg salad. 316 00:15:27,793 --> 00:15:29,731 My God, white people crazy. 317 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:34,884 [Upbeat music] 318 00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:37,176 - Welcome to Metta World News. 319 00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:43,442 I wish 320 00:15:44,098 --> 00:15:46,701 there was a genie in here. 321 00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:51,534 Well, that wraps up Metta World News 322 00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,903 for this Wednesday, March hybrid ice rink. 323 00:15:53,986 --> 00:15:56,572 I'm Metta World Peace. Good night. 324 00:15:57,186 --> 00:15:58,346 Hey, Jim, where's that genie? 325 00:15:59,658 --> 00:16:01,863 [Soul music] 326 00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,946 - The spoiler alert started in a... 327 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:05,748 you know, pretty... you know, not long ago. 328 00:16:05,831 --> 00:16:06,916 But now everybody's talking about spoiler alerts 329 00:16:06,999 --> 00:16:07,917 all the time. 330 00:16:08,135 --> 00:16:09,186 We hate spoiler alerts, 331 00:16:09,270 --> 00:16:11,454 and the thing is do not tell me 332 00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:14,056 that you're not gonna ruin the movie for me. 333 00:16:14,139 --> 00:16:15,925 By you saying "I'm not gonna ruin it," 334 00:16:16,008 --> 00:16:17,460 you're already ruining it. 335 00:16:17,543 --> 00:16:18,494 I know something special's gonna happen. 336 00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:19,996 - I know there's a twist. 337 00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:22,387 I know there's a twist, so just shut your mouth, 338 00:16:22,848 --> 00:16:24,433 say, "Yeah, movie was good, 339 00:16:24,516 --> 00:16:26,528 pretty straightforward beginning to end." 340 00:16:27,129 --> 00:16:28,571 - And I've been guilty of it 'cause, you know, 341 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:29,963 I'm the one... I'm the person who'll be like, 342 00:16:30,047 --> 00:16:31,365 "Have you seen... Did you see"... 343 00:16:31,449 --> 00:16:33,943 - No, don't. Dude, don't do it. 344 00:16:34,026 --> 00:16:35,912 See, now I know something's up. 345 00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,080 - It's not... but listen, I just wanna tell you this one thing. 346 00:16:38,163 --> 00:16:40,639 It's... I swear, it's not gonna ruin the movie. 347 00:16:40,723 --> 00:16:42,272 - 'Cause now I'm already thinking 348 00:16:42,356 --> 00:16:43,920 what could possibly happen with this. 349 00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:45,815 - It's not... Okay, listen, I'm... All right. 350 00:16:45,899 --> 00:16:47,452 You know what? No, it's good. 351 00:16:47,535 --> 00:16:50,473 It's... I'm just... - No, no, okay. 352 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:54,263 All right, just... If you can promise you're going to tell me 353 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,665 something that won't give anything away... 354 00:16:55,748 --> 00:16:57,099 - Yes, this is... It's not... 355 00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,754 This is not integral to the story, okay? 356 00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,536 Bruce Willis is a ghost. - Fuck you. 357 00:17:01,620 --> 00:17:05,223 [Laughter and applause] 358 00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,322 - Johnny. 359 00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:12,634 Okay, Carter. 360 00:17:13,899 --> 00:17:15,275 I can stay here all night. 361 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:18,384 So why don't you and I cut the crap, 362 00:17:18,570 --> 00:17:22,267 and you tell me what happened on March 15th? 363 00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,628 - And what's in it for Carter Finley? 364 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:26,862 - What's in it for you 365 00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:28,898 is I don't send you back to jail. 366 00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:31,901 [Dramatic music] 367 00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:36,238 368 00:17:36,321 --> 00:17:38,474 - [sighs] 369 00:17:38,557 --> 00:17:41,309 The guy's name is Cat Branchman. 370 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:44,981 I met him downtown at a club called The Clutching Kitten. 371 00:17:45,064 --> 00:17:46,482 You may have heard of it. 372 00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:50,486 It's down on the corner of Hang and Fur Street. 373 00:17:50,569 --> 00:17:52,002 - Cat Branchman. 374 00:17:53,839 --> 00:17:55,891 So what's a guy like you 375 00:17:56,154 --> 00:17:58,978 and a guy named Cat... 376 00:18:06,390 --> 00:18:08,643 [sighs] 377 00:18:08,921 --> 00:18:09,828 Okay. 378 00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:12,108 I know what you're doing, Finley. 379 00:18:12,191 --> 00:18:14,221 You're just using what you see in my poster. 380 00:18:14,305 --> 00:18:16,345 - I'm not, detective. 381 00:18:16,428 --> 00:18:17,913 I'm telling the truth. 382 00:18:17,996 --> 00:18:19,348 - We'll see how much truth you tell 383 00:18:19,431 --> 00:18:21,135 after a few weeks in solitary confine... 384 00:18:21,219 --> 00:18:22,618 - Fine, detective. 385 00:18:22,701 --> 00:18:25,805 You've twisted my arm. - That's better. 386 00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:28,624 - The guy's name wasn't Cat Branchman. 387 00:18:28,707 --> 00:18:30,149 - Thank you. 388 00:18:30,233 --> 00:18:33,768 - It was a Chinese guy named Mr. Meow. 389 00:18:33,852 --> 00:18:37,258 - Oh, my God. - He's the real gang boss. 390 00:18:37,616 --> 00:18:40,136 Story went he hung guys from trees 391 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:42,405 and took pictures of them. - Finley. 392 00:18:42,488 --> 00:18:44,140 - Used to run a club downtown... 393 00:18:44,223 --> 00:18:47,830 a front, of course... called it The Paw and Poster. 394 00:18:47,914 --> 00:18:48,744 - Finley. 395 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:53,117 - Ran it with a guy named Hong In Thar. 396 00:18:53,438 --> 00:18:54,367 - Okay. 397 00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:58,508 Let's try this one more time. 398 00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:06,271 Finley, who do you work for? 399 00:19:06,573 --> 00:19:08,358 - Um... 400 00:19:09,143 --> 00:19:10,195 Coffee. 401 00:19:10,279 --> 00:19:12,967 Mr. Coffee Coop. 402 00:19:13,404 --> 00:19:15,738 - You... Coffee Coop? 403 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:20,176 - His name was Baldy Tall Man Coffee Coop. 404 00:19:20,259 --> 00:19:22,111 - [Sighs] Now you're just talking about me. 405 00:19:22,194 --> 00:19:25,084 Finley, I'm gonna give you one more chance. 406 00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,138 Who is in charge? 407 00:19:28,482 --> 00:19:31,320 - His name was Angry Man. 408 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,673 - [Sighs] 409 00:19:32,757 --> 00:19:34,375 - The warehouse is located 410 00:19:34,459 --> 00:19:39,427 in the diploma for being a detective. 411 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,388 - I want a name. - Justin. 412 00:19:41,472 --> 00:19:42,723 - Thank you. 413 00:19:43,060 --> 00:19:45,267 - Hangtree... - Don't say "hang." 414 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:47,435 God damn it, do not say "hang." 415 00:19:48,387 --> 00:19:49,505 - Hang... - Nope. 416 00:19:49,588 --> 00:19:52,475 - Hangman Justin Cats... - Finley. 417 00:19:52,558 --> 00:19:53,476 - Poster. 418 00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,857 - Do not say "poster" or "cat." 419 00:19:58,230 --> 00:19:59,949 - Cat poster. - Okay, that's it. 420 00:20:00,178 --> 00:20:02,151 I'm losing my patience. 421 00:20:02,234 --> 00:20:04,653 Winslow, get this moron out of here. 422 00:20:04,736 --> 00:20:06,076 - I... 423 00:20:10,576 --> 00:20:13,496 [dramatic music] 424 00:20:13,579 --> 00:20:16,632 425 00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:20,205 - I'm losing my patience. 426 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,174 Let's try this one more time. 427 00:20:25,306 --> 00:20:27,158 I'm getting too old for this shit. 428 00:20:32,464 --> 00:20:34,585 - Well played, detective. 429 00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,687 Well played, indeed. 430 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:39,546 - Hey, Carter. 431 00:20:40,939 --> 00:20:42,663 You hang in there. 432 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,395 [Cheers and applause] 433 00:20:46,478 --> 00:20:50,249 Thank you so much for coming out tonight, everybody. 434 00:20:50,949 --> 00:20:52,535 Thank you. Good night. 435 00:20:52,618 --> 00:20:55,476 No, no. No. 436 00:20:55,560 --> 00:20:57,505 What, me? 437 00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:00,643 - I'm gonna do my one line here 438 00:21:00,727 --> 00:21:02,718 - Oh, yeah. 439 00:21:04,447 --> 00:21:05,894 - Whenever I stayed home from school, 440 00:21:05,978 --> 00:21:07,340 I'd always get caught just doing 441 00:21:07,424 --> 00:21:08,568 some stupid shit in my room. 442 00:21:08,650 --> 00:21:10,180 And she'd come home early. 443 00:21:10,264 --> 00:21:11,449 - Oh, so we're feeling better? 444 00:21:11,533 --> 00:21:13,144 - Oh, Mom, shit! I'm naked! 445 00:21:13,228 --> 00:21:14,207 What? 446 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,818 - I thought you said you were sick 447 00:21:15,902 --> 00:21:16,887 when I left this morning to go to work. 448 00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:19,570 - I am sick in the head. Ripped By mstoll 449 00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:20,617 Resync BluRay by LeRalouf 450 00:21:20,667 --> 00:21:25,217 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 31894

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.