Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,214 --> 00:00:08,216
I want to thank everybody
for coming out tonight
2
00:00:08,299 --> 00:00:11,511
and celebrating this joyous return
of Bruno into my life
3
00:00:11,594 --> 00:00:12,762
and into yours as well.
4
00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,682
I went through a very dark time,
5
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:19,102
a time I would wish on no one,
not even my worst enemies.
6
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:21,312
But the light is shining now,
7
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:24,149
and it's shining even brighter
on this little guy.
8
00:00:24,232 --> 00:00:25,984
So let's raise our cups to Bruno.
9
00:00:26,067 --> 00:00:27,235
-Hear.
-I love him.
10
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,905
And let's get
this motherfucking party started!
11
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:32,240
[cheering]
12
00:00:32,323 --> 00:00:34,200
[hip-hop song playing]
13
00:00:34,284 --> 00:00:36,619
-♪ All play, no work, right? ♪
-♪ Hey ♪
14
00:00:36,703 --> 00:00:38,788
-♪ Ain't nobody getting hurt, right? ♪
-♪ Hey ♪
15
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:41,332
-♪ So put it up 'cause it's your night ♪
-♪ Hey ♪
16
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,960
-♪ So will we stop having fun tonight? ♪
-♪ No, no, no ♪
17
00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:46,504
- ♪ Are we go getting in tonight? ♪
-♪Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
18
00:00:46,588 --> 00:00:48,465
-♪ Are we calling it quits tonight?♪
-♪ No, no ♪
19
00:00:48,548 --> 00:00:51,176
-♪ Oh, we go make a trip tonight ♪
-♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
20
00:00:51,259 --> 00:00:53,011
♪ Quick lean as I let the beat track ♪
21
00:00:53,094 --> 00:00:55,346
♪ As we toast up, let my whole team rock ♪
22
00:00:55,430 --> 00:00:58,224
♪ You know, we the ones
that you never seen front ♪
23
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,602
♪ Man, we live a dream job,
so we always praise God, uh ♪
24
00:01:00,685 --> 00:01:02,729
-♪ What's up? You losing gas? ♪
-♪ What's going on? ♪
25
00:01:02,812 --> 00:01:05,106
-♪ I'll be righteous bein' passed ♪
-♪ The 101 ♪
26
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:07,400
-♪ I could probably even teach a class ♪
-♪ Like 101 ♪
27
00:01:07,484 --> 00:01:09,944
♪Man, we represent our block,
sayin', "Tell me where you from" ♪
28
00:01:10,028 --> 00:01:12,489
♪ Aha, the Kingsborough,
ah, we been thorough ♪
29
00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:15,450
♪ For like life,
it's in our bone marrow, uh ♪
30
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:17,368
♪ Gold chains
That's the land of the Pharaohs ♪
31
00:01:17,452 --> 00:01:20,205
♪ We all get changed,
yeah, like Robert De Niro ♪
32
00:01:20,288 --> 00:01:21,664
[music slows and distorts]
33
00:01:23,458 --> 00:01:24,459
[sizzles]
34
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:25,960
[Malcolm groans]
35
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:27,921
[Malcolm sighs]
36
00:01:29,798 --> 00:01:30,799
Man.
37
00:01:31,716 --> 00:01:33,468
Shit got crazy last night.
38
00:01:33,551 --> 00:01:34,969
Hell, yeah, it did.
39
00:01:38,098 --> 00:01:39,432
Passed the fuck out.
40
00:01:41,810 --> 00:01:44,979
Come on, man.
What the hell did y'all throw on me, man?
41
00:01:45,897 --> 00:01:47,774
We didn't throw nothing on you, man.
42
00:01:56,449 --> 00:01:58,451
[panting]
43
00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:02,789
Oh, my God.
44
00:02:02,872 --> 00:02:06,251
-[whines]
-No, Macho. Come on, Macho.
45
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,174
♪ It's Bruno ♪
46
00:02:13,258 --> 00:02:15,009
♪ My little funny Bruno ♪
47
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:18,054
♪ Bruno ♪
48
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:19,013
♪ Yep, it's Bruno ♪
49
00:02:28,439 --> 00:02:29,440
What's this guy?
50
00:02:31,276 --> 00:02:32,944
Hey, man, that's not a dog!
51
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:37,031
[coughs] What's that, boss?
52
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:38,992
He said that's not a dog.
53
00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:41,870
Yo, cats are people, too.
They need exercise.
54
00:02:42,787 --> 00:02:44,497
Unreal. Come on, Skippy.
55
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:47,333
All right, man. See you later.
56
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,043
All right, yo.
57
00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,253
[dog barks]
58
00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:12,025
[scanner whirs and beeps]
59
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:18,406
Sir, your dog's rabies vaccines
need to be updated.
60
00:03:19,574 --> 00:03:21,034
Uh, excuse me?
61
00:03:21,117 --> 00:03:24,454
Are you, uh, Malcolm Bartello or Baby?
62
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:27,498
I'm Malcolm. How do you know my name?
63
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:30,543
Scanned your dog's microchip.
Keeps a database of all his owners.
64
00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:34,297
-Then who's Baby?
-Don't know. Probably another owner.
65
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:35,715
I'm the only owner.
66
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:39,177
Well, there's no last name, just Baby,
so could be a typo.
67
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:41,429
Anyway, those tags are expired.
68
00:03:41,512 --> 00:03:43,765
You're gonna have to
get his vaccination updated.
69
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:47,101
Now, you can pay this... online,
or you can mail a check.
70
00:03:47,685 --> 00:03:50,396
I'm not taking that ticket.
That's a bullshit ticket.
71
00:03:50,480 --> 00:03:51,606
You're a bullshit cop.
72
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:53,858
I'm a park ranger.
73
00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,153
Why don't you take some branches,
hold them together, and handcuff those?
74
00:03:57,237 --> 00:04:00,323
Or go solve a raccoon hit-and-run
or some shit like that.
75
00:04:00,406 --> 00:04:02,700
Those are not the duties of a park ranger.
76
00:04:02,784 --> 00:04:04,202
-Is this even a park?
-Yes.
77
00:04:06,663 --> 00:04:09,249
Seriously? This tree is a park?
78
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:10,333
Yes, it is.
79
00:04:11,125 --> 00:04:13,461
Look. What about Harvey?
How come you don't scan his dog?
80
00:04:13,544 --> 00:04:17,048
Hey! Is that that dog
from the dog-food commercials?
81
00:04:17,131 --> 00:04:18,466
Why, yes, it is.
82
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:19,926
Ha ha ha.
83
00:04:20,009 --> 00:04:22,679
She's even more beautiful in person, sir.
You have a great day.
84
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:26,015
Aw, thank you, ma'am.
You have a blessed day.
85
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:28,393
And thank you
for all your hard work and service.
86
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,103
You're not gonna scan
that dog's microchip?
87
00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:33,690
That dog is a celebrity.
I'm sure her vaccinations are up-to-date.
88
00:04:33,773 --> 00:04:36,985
What's this even about, anyway?
There's never been a park ranger here.
89
00:04:37,068 --> 00:04:39,237
Well, there's been a lot of dog theft
in the area,
90
00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:42,657
so the city sent me down here
to do a little broken-windows policing.
91
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:43,616
Broken windows?
92
00:04:43,700 --> 00:04:48,204
It's a theory in criminology that if you
come down hard on small infractions,
93
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:50,540
it'll reduce the larger ones.
94
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:53,084
So let me get this straight--
if you give me a ticket,
95
00:04:53,167 --> 00:04:55,253
that's gonna prevent my dog
from getting stolen?
96
00:04:55,336 --> 00:04:56,170
Yes.
97
00:04:56,921 --> 00:04:59,090
That's the stupidest shit I've ever heard.
98
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,801
-Your ticket.
-I'm not taking that ticket.
99
00:05:02,635 --> 00:05:05,138
Okay. That's all right.
The ticket will find you.
100
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:06,055
What the--
101
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:13,813
Well, I'm not paying it.
102
00:05:14,647 --> 00:05:16,232
You can take it to court.
103
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,818
-Well, then court it is.
-Well, just so you know...
104
00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:21,612
I never miss a court date.
105
00:05:21,696 --> 00:05:22,947
Neither do I.
106
00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,833
-[telephone rings]
-You can insert your card here.
107
00:05:33,916 --> 00:05:36,419
Oh, Bruno!
108
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:39,172
It's Bruno! Ha ha ha ha.
109
00:05:39,255 --> 00:05:42,258
♪ I'm gonna get some Bruno time,
Bruno time, Bruno time ♪
110
00:05:42,342 --> 00:05:44,844
Oh, puppy!
111
00:05:44,927 --> 00:05:47,180
-Oh, Bruno!
-[Malcolm] All right. All right.
112
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:50,683
-[receptionist] Bruno, come here.
-And, uh, what about my dog?
113
00:05:50,767 --> 00:05:53,061
You need to be loving on Trixie right now.
114
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:55,104
I just paid you $400.
115
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:02,779
-She's a feisty one, huh?
-Hmm.
116
00:06:03,654 --> 00:06:07,200
So, uh, here to see the vet,
get Bruno's rabies vaccination up-to-date.
117
00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:09,410
Sure thing, Malcolm.
She'll be with you in a minute.
118
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:10,370
Thank you.
119
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:17,835
Hey, Malcolm. You still picking up Huey
next Wednesday, right?
120
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:18,920
I got you.
121
00:06:20,713 --> 00:06:22,340
[barking]
122
00:06:22,423 --> 00:06:24,967
Bad Pebbles. Oh, no.
123
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,053
Don't mind little Pebbles.
He's just playing.
124
00:06:27,136 --> 00:06:29,555
He doesn't usually bark like this. Heh.
125
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:35,144
Do you want to buy him off me?
He's a great dog. I just travel a lot.
126
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:36,312
I'm good. Thank you.
127
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:38,147
[barking echoes]
I'M NOT PLAYING! I'M DEAD SERIOUS!
128
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:41,359
I WILL FUCK YOU UP! YOU HEAR ME!?
129
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:43,528
I WILL TEAR YOUR LITTLE PUGGLE ASS
TO PIECES!
130
00:06:43,694 --> 00:06:44,904
Pebbles, I said no! Quiet!
131
00:06:45,571 --> 00:06:46,906
OH YOU'RE SO LUCKY SHE'S HERE!
132
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,658
YOU BETTER PRAY SHE KEEPS HOLDING ME BACK!
133
00:06:48,741 --> 00:06:50,576
YOU BETTER PRAY MOTHERFUCKER!
134
00:06:51,327 --> 00:06:52,412
Bruno?
135
00:06:52,495 --> 00:06:55,123
[barking continues]
136
00:06:57,125 --> 00:07:00,044
How's the little guy doing?
How's he doing?
137
00:07:00,128 --> 00:07:01,337
All right. Watch the hands.
138
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,632
Oh, wait a second. What is this?
139
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,259
What is it? What?
140
00:07:07,468 --> 00:07:11,139
Oh, thank God. Never mind.
Thought I felt a bump behind his ear.
141
00:07:11,222 --> 00:07:14,142
Could've been a tumor.
They're very common in these breeds.
142
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:17,145
We should definitely do a full-body X-ray.
143
00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:20,148
Oh, you know,
I just came here for a rabies vaccine.
144
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:24,026
Right. So you wanna leave any future
physical problems up to chance
145
00:07:24,110 --> 00:07:25,403
and not do the X-ray?
146
00:07:29,824 --> 00:07:31,826
Okay. Yeah, sure. Let's do the X-ray.
147
00:07:31,909 --> 00:07:33,077
Smart choice.
148
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:36,497
We'll also give him the Bordetella
and the Giardia vaccines.
149
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:40,251
Bordetella? Giardia? Those sound like
Italian entrees. What is that?
150
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,086
Bordetella prevents kennel cough,
151
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:45,590
and Giardia can affect
Bruno's gastrointestinal tract,
152
00:07:45,673 --> 00:07:49,135
which can cause diarrhea,
vomiting, weight loss, and lethargy.
153
00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,305
Fine. I'll get them, too.
154
00:07:52,388 --> 00:07:55,766
Along with the parainfluenza
and distemper vaccines?
155
00:07:55,850 --> 00:07:57,935
Okay, how many vaccines are there?
156
00:07:58,019 --> 00:08:00,688
-Parainfluenza?
-Yeah, dog flu.
157
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:04,358
You want Bruno coughing and sneezing
'cause he sniffed some rat pellets
158
00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:06,819
on one of these Brooklyn streets
you walked him on?
159
00:08:06,903 --> 00:08:08,488
Bruno's a beautiful dog.
160
00:08:08,571 --> 00:08:11,741
It would be a shame
if something were to happen to him.
161
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,952
-All right. Just get 'em all.
-Okay.
162
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,372
What's... What's all this gonna cost?
163
00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:20,917
Let's see... about $1,200.
164
00:08:21,834 --> 00:08:23,461
Jeez, I can't afford that.
165
00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,671
No worries. We make payment plans.
166
00:08:27,423 --> 00:08:28,424
Okay.
167
00:08:29,342 --> 00:08:31,886
But there's a favor
I'm gonna need you to do for me.
168
00:08:49,445 --> 00:08:50,446
Bruno.
169
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:14,887
[bang]
170
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,230
[judge] Malcolm Bartello.
171
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,906
Bruno. Come on. Come on.
172
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,702
Stay.
173
00:10:24,248 --> 00:10:25,249
[judge] Okay.
174
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:29,837
Ranger Debecki, please be so kind
as to explain what happened.
175
00:10:29,920 --> 00:10:35,259
Absolutely. On the third of this month,
at approximately 11:42 in the morning,
176
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:38,429
I observed the defendant, Mr. Bartello,
177
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:41,932
walking his dog, Bruno,
at Grand Forest Park.
178
00:10:42,016 --> 00:10:44,602
Objection. It's not a park, Your Honor.
179
00:10:44,685 --> 00:10:46,103
There's just one tree.
180
00:10:46,187 --> 00:10:48,939
This is not a trial.
Do not interrupt the ranger.
181
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:54,362
I noticed the dog's rabies vaccinations
were out of date,
182
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,530
and, uh, as you know,
183
00:10:56,614 --> 00:11:02,495
according to section 1004-B
of this city's animal-regulation law,
184
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:05,164
no dog without
an up-to-date rabies vaccination
185
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:08,876
is allowed on city park premises.
186
00:11:08,959 --> 00:11:10,878
Hmm. Thank you, Ranger Debecki.
187
00:11:11,754 --> 00:11:14,256
Malcolm, what's your defense?
188
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:18,260
Well, Your Honor...
ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
189
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:22,264
I have a crucial piece of evidence
I'd like to introduce in this case.
190
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,975
Once again, not a trial. There is no jury.
191
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:28,729
Those are just other people with tickets
they're disputing like you.
192
00:11:29,855 --> 00:11:32,024
Permission to approach the bench,
Your Honor.
193
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,776
Sure. Just bring it over.
194
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,654
[sighs] As you can see here...
195
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:38,948
this...
196
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:42,034
is Bruno's up-to-date
official medical records.
197
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,579
Now if you would direct your attention
over to the rabies line,
198
00:11:45,663 --> 00:11:49,875
you'll notice Bruno received his shots
before the ticket was issued,
199
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:53,462
meaning that his vaccination
is actually up-to-date,
200
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:57,508
and Ranger Debecki...
either didn't check it properly
201
00:11:57,591 --> 00:12:01,679
or has defective...
non-calibrated equipment.
202
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,056
Impossible. Hah.
203
00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,768
Well, I mean, Your Honor,
who are we to believe here?
204
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:11,689
The word of
a certified veterinarian doctor
205
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:15,025
or a park ranger with faulty gear?
206
00:12:15,109 --> 00:12:19,155
After reviewing the medical record here,
it does state very clearly
207
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:24,076
that the rabies vaccination
was administered prior to ticket issuance.
208
00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:25,745
I'm dismissing the ticket.
209
00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:32,084
You have a nice day now.
Take care of yourself.
210
00:13:25,763 --> 00:13:27,807
[theme music playing]
16669
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
