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[SIRENS BLARING]
2
00:00:03,966 --> 00:00:05,125
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
3
00:00:05,150 --> 00:00:07,070
MAN: Hey, can somebody help me here?
4
00:00:07,599 --> 00:00:09,769
Help him! Help him!
5
00:00:09,770 --> 00:00:11,188
Oh, shit!
6
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[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
7
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[MULTIPLE VOICES SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
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♪ ♪
9
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[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
10
00:00:20,667 --> 00:00:22,586
[GUNFIRE, SIRENS BLARING]
11
00:00:22,587 --> 00:00:26,970
[SHOUTING CONTINUES, SIRENS BLARING]
12
00:00:26,971 --> 00:00:30,468
♪ ♪
13
00:00:30,493 --> 00:00:31,562
MAN: Don't worry. I'm turning...
14
00:00:31,563 --> 00:00:34,569
[MULTIPLE VOICES SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
15
00:00:34,570 --> 00:00:38,740
♪ ♪
16
00:00:38,765 --> 00:00:40,241
MAN: There's something
wrong with the plane!
17
00:00:40,266 --> 00:00:41,281
[AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING]
18
00:00:41,306 --> 00:00:43,559
♪ ♪
19
00:00:44,367 --> 00:00:46,123
MAN: Man, just got to keep going.
20
00:00:46,148 --> 00:00:48,030
MAN 2: So you're helping the
boys on the ground after all.
21
00:00:48,054 --> 00:00:50,265
- MAN 3: I hope you die!
- MAN 4: Got to jump, Yossarian!
22
00:00:50,289 --> 00:00:51,289
YOSSARIAN: No, come back!
23
00:00:51,314 --> 00:00:53,288
MAN 4: I'm right behind you.
I've got to get it out...
24
00:00:53,312 --> 00:00:54,320
[SCREAMS]
25
00:00:54,412 --> 00:00:56,719
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
26
00:00:56,820 --> 00:00:59,144
SCHEISSKOPF: You goddamn
spastics think I'm gonna let you
27
00:00:59,300 --> 00:01:02,503
prance around here like
a Busby Berkeley chorus line,
28
00:01:02,913 --> 00:01:04,633
then you've got another
think coming to you.
29
00:01:05,170 --> 00:01:08,551
I make you practice marching
more than any other squadron
30
00:01:08,552 --> 00:01:09,878
so you'll be better
for the Sunday parades,
31
00:01:09,902 --> 00:01:10,925
and what happens?
32
00:01:10,981 --> 00:01:12,821
- We look worse.
- SCHEISSKOPF: You look worse.
33
00:01:13,060 --> 00:01:14,263
Just meet me halfway.
34
00:01:14,332 --> 00:01:16,519
Don't I always meet you
more than halfway?
35
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,290
That may be why we never meet at all.
36
00:01:19,875 --> 00:01:20,949
Is it my fault?
37
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:25,387
Is any of this my fault?
I want to be told.
38
00:01:25,412 --> 00:01:27,943
I won't punish the man
who tells me the truth.
39
00:01:27,968 --> 00:01:29,646
- I swear.
- Oh, yes, he will.
40
00:01:29,671 --> 00:01:33,093
I would be thankful to the
man who tells me the truth.
41
00:01:33,118 --> 00:01:35,311
Why can you not walk a straight line?
42
00:01:35,336 --> 00:01:37,663
Why can you not turn a 90-degree angle
43
00:01:37,688 --> 00:01:38,936
after 11 weeks?
44
00:01:39,095 --> 00:01:42,358
Why do you not seem to
care that we are nine days
45
00:01:42,581 --> 00:01:45,331
from the Inter-Squadron
Parade Jamboree?
46
00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,968
What the fuck are you staring at?
47
00:01:49,198 --> 00:01:53,422
SCHEISSKOPF: How can we
finally, finally... I beg you...
48
00:01:53,704 --> 00:01:56,133
find a way of getting this thing right?
49
00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,251
I actually know the answer to this.
50
00:01:57,275 --> 00:01:58,704
- No, you don't.
- Oh, my God, Clevinger.
51
00:01:58,728 --> 00:01:59,728
No, really, I was looking
52
00:01:59,753 --> 00:02:00,861
- at the parade manual...
- Shut up.
53
00:02:00,885 --> 00:02:01,886
About breaking us into smaller
54
00:02:01,910 --> 00:02:03,245
- groups to start.
- You really need to shut up.
55
00:02:03,269 --> 00:02:04,276
And the $100 question...
56
00:02:05,949 --> 00:02:08,636
why is it so hard to restrict
the swing of your arms
57
00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:10,909
to a maximum seven-inch
lateral pendulum arc
58
00:02:11,052 --> 00:02:13,425
with a maximum four-inch
distance from wrist to thigh?
59
00:02:13,450 --> 00:02:15,329
Peele, if you please!
60
00:02:18,212 --> 00:02:19,798
Seven-inch lateral pendulum arc,
61
00:02:19,956 --> 00:02:21,440
four-inch distance wrist to thigh.
62
00:02:21,548 --> 00:02:23,050
- Thank you, Peele!
- Yes, sir!
63
00:02:24,143 --> 00:02:25,690
SCHEISSKOPF: Why is that so hard?
64
00:02:28,396 --> 00:02:29,573
Why is that so hard?
65
00:02:30,249 --> 00:02:32,425
Seven-inch swing, four-inch gap.
66
00:02:33,265 --> 00:02:34,698
Then we look tight.
67
00:02:35,908 --> 00:02:37,394
Then we look fierce.
68
00:02:37,942 --> 00:02:42,032
Then we stand out from all
the goddamn free-swinging arms
69
00:02:42,057 --> 00:02:44,190
that seem to be the
goddamn fashion these days.
70
00:02:44,301 --> 00:02:47,987
Then we win the goddamn pennant
because your goddamn hands
71
00:02:48,012 --> 00:02:50,057
ought never move more than
three and a half inches
72
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,363
in either direction, north or south,
73
00:02:51,387 --> 00:02:53,667
from the center of your thigh!
74
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,222
But apparently we're all
a bunch of mongoloids.
75
00:02:56,340 --> 00:02:57,700
He's talking about you, Clevinger.
76
00:02:58,024 --> 00:02:59,024
Reprobates!
77
00:03:02,500 --> 00:03:04,011
And I've been staying up at night.
78
00:03:05,124 --> 00:03:06,707
I've been saying to myself...
79
00:03:08,393 --> 00:03:10,316
"How are we gonna win this thing, boys?"
80
00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:13,027
And you know what'd do it?
81
00:03:13,645 --> 00:03:15,527
I got a friend in the sheet-metal shop,
82
00:03:16,036 --> 00:03:18,261
and he'd make me little
pegs of nickel alloy,
83
00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:20,761
and I could sink each one
of them into your thigh bones
84
00:03:20,786 --> 00:03:22,919
and connect it to your wrists
with strands of copper wire
85
00:03:22,943 --> 00:03:24,567
with exactly three and
a half inches of play,
86
00:03:24,591 --> 00:03:26,471
because apparently we're
all a bunch of pansies!
87
00:03:28,966 --> 00:03:33,144
So I'm asking you, somebody tell me,
88
00:03:33,169 --> 00:03:36,035
what is it that I am doing wrong?
89
00:03:36,855 --> 00:03:38,590
Somebody, anybody tell me,
90
00:03:38,615 --> 00:03:40,691
where have I failed?
91
00:03:42,187 --> 00:03:43,808
No, it's a rhetorical question.
92
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:44,892
- Sir!
- He...
93
00:03:46,472 --> 00:03:48,495
- Soldier?
- Jesus Christ.
94
00:03:49,180 --> 00:03:51,142
Well, sir, I've actually
been thinking about this.
95
00:03:51,214 --> 00:03:53,370
And, you see, I think it's
quite a simple solution.
96
00:03:53,558 --> 00:03:54,846
What's your name, soldier?
97
00:03:55,249 --> 00:03:56,249
Clevinger, sir.
98
00:03:56,274 --> 00:03:58,096
Air Corps Cadet Timothy Clyde Clevinger.
99
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:00,979
So I was thinking, the problem lies
100
00:04:01,004 --> 00:04:02,675
in the relationship
between the synchronization
101
00:04:02,699 --> 00:04:04,284
of the whole unit and synchronization
102
00:04:04,309 --> 00:04:05,629
of the individual lines, you see?
103
00:04:05,727 --> 00:04:07,096
You start small rather than big,
104
00:04:07,271 --> 00:04:09,025
you divide the unit
into practice groups,
105
00:04:09,050 --> 00:04:11,151
say six to ten men, well,
it's just human nature
106
00:04:11,176 --> 00:04:13,565
to take in information more
concretely in smaller groups.
107
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,018
So, sir, I would suggest your error...
108
00:04:16,043 --> 00:04:17,669
Clevinger, stop fucking talk...
109
00:04:17,699 --> 00:04:20,699
[GLENN MILLER'S "TUXEDO JUNCTION"]
110
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♪ ♪
111
00:04:21,950 --> 00:04:23,630
YOSSARIAN: This group
small enough for you?
112
00:04:24,690 --> 00:04:26,300
CLEVINGER: I still can't understand it.
113
00:04:26,991 --> 00:04:28,370
What is there to understand?
114
00:04:29,167 --> 00:04:30,284
They hate you.
115
00:04:31,143 --> 00:04:33,066
They hate you before you got here.
116
00:04:33,386 --> 00:04:34,894
They hate you while you're here,
117
00:04:34,919 --> 00:04:37,003
and they're gonna keep on
hating you after you leave.
118
00:04:37,194 --> 00:04:39,740
♪ ♪
119
00:04:40,241 --> 00:04:41,480
I'm sorry, buddy.
120
00:04:41,786 --> 00:04:45,083
♪ ♪
121
00:04:45,108 --> 00:04:48,113
[AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING OVERHEAD]
122
00:04:48,146 --> 00:04:50,409
♪ ♪
123
00:04:58,154 --> 00:05:00,542
MAN OVER RADIO: As the lead
bombardier in the squadron,
124
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:03,089
everyone else is following your cues.
125
00:05:03,667 --> 00:05:07,799
So, with this practice
run, set your sighting angle
126
00:05:07,824 --> 00:05:09,202
to 70 degrees.
127
00:05:09,227 --> 00:05:12,417
[AIRPLANE ENGINE RUMBLING]
128
00:05:12,442 --> 00:05:15,972
Now, clutch in, turn your
rate and motor switch on.
129
00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,394
The rate and motor runs within five RPMs
130
00:05:21,419 --> 00:05:22,558
of the chosen speed.
131
00:05:22,583 --> 00:05:24,262
Here they come, Nately.
It's the Red Baron.
132
00:05:24,286 --> 00:05:26,624
Take him down. [MIMICS GUNFIRE]
133
00:05:26,649 --> 00:05:28,609
MAN: You know what's
happening to your rate index?
134
00:05:29,516 --> 00:05:32,433
You're trying to find just
one point on that scale.
135
00:05:33,712 --> 00:05:34,988
But watch the indices.
136
00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:37,114
That's the only way you
keep track of where you are.
137
00:05:37,138 --> 00:05:38,503
So get in the habit now.
138
00:05:38,722 --> 00:05:43,113
So, you're lined up. What's next?
139
00:05:44,446 --> 00:05:46,032
Open bomb bay doors.
140
00:05:46,238 --> 00:05:47,532
Okay, go ahead.
141
00:05:47,793 --> 00:05:49,153
YOSSARIAN: Opening bomb bay doors.
142
00:05:49,189 --> 00:05:50,650
[WIND HOWLING]
143
00:05:50,901 --> 00:05:53,154
[AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING]
144
00:05:53,226 --> 00:05:54,993
MAN: Level carefully so you can keep
145
00:05:55,018 --> 00:05:56,520
the vertical reference line.
146
00:05:56,698 --> 00:05:59,024
Every calculation must be precise.
147
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,093
And next?
148
00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,290
- Bombs away?
- Correct.
149
00:06:08,060 --> 00:06:09,103
Bombs away.
150
00:06:09,128 --> 00:06:11,883
[WIND HOWLING]
151
00:06:18,276 --> 00:06:21,282
[AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING]
152
00:06:23,181 --> 00:06:24,969
- [MAN AND WOMAN LAUGHING]
- WOMAN: Whoo!
153
00:06:24,994 --> 00:06:27,196
[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]
154
00:06:27,623 --> 00:06:29,489
- [GRUNTS]
- [LAUGHING]
155
00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:31,693
Oh, God.
156
00:06:32,102 --> 00:06:33,396
Oh, God.
157
00:06:34,531 --> 00:06:36,614
[BOTH LAUGHING]
158
00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:39,138
[BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY]
159
00:06:39,164 --> 00:06:40,670
YOSSARIAN: You know, I
bet I could name two things
160
00:06:40,694 --> 00:06:42,661
to be miserable about
for every one you can name
161
00:06:42,686 --> 00:06:43,763
to be thankful for.
162
00:06:43,788 --> 00:06:46,349
MARION: Mmm, be thankful you're healthy.
163
00:06:46,611 --> 00:06:48,472
YOSSARIAN: Be bitter you're
not gonna stay that way.
164
00:06:48,496 --> 00:06:50,082
Be glad you're even alive.
165
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:51,820
YOSSARIAN: Be furious
how you're gonna die.
166
00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:53,076
MARION: Things could be much worse.
167
00:06:53,100 --> 00:06:54,592
Yeah, well, things could
be one hell of a lot better.
168
00:06:54,616 --> 00:06:56,780
MARION: You're naming only one
thing. You said you could name two.
169
00:06:56,804 --> 00:06:59,850
Mmm. And don't tell me that
God works in mysterious ways.
170
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,631
There's nothing mysterious about it.
171
00:07:01,656 --> 00:07:02,950
He's not working at all.
172
00:07:02,975 --> 00:07:04,877
- You know, he's playing.
- MARION: Mm-hmm.
173
00:07:04,902 --> 00:07:06,528
Or else He's forgotten all about us.
174
00:07:06,755 --> 00:07:09,292
He is a brainless, conceited hayseed.
175
00:07:09,317 --> 00:07:10,332
- MARION: [LAUGHS]
- I mean, how mu...
176
00:07:10,356 --> 00:07:12,745
how much reverence can you
have for a supreme being
177
00:07:12,889 --> 00:07:15,175
who finds it necessary to
rob old people of the power
178
00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,720
to control their bowel movements, hmm?
179
00:07:17,412 --> 00:07:18,823
Why the hell did He create pain?
180
00:07:18,888 --> 00:07:20,081
Pain is useful.
181
00:07:20,114 --> 00:07:22,527
Pain is a warning to
us of bodily dangers.
182
00:07:22,552 --> 00:07:23,950
And who created the dangers?
183
00:07:23,975 --> 00:07:25,951
Yeah, He was certainly
being... He was certainly being
184
00:07:25,975 --> 00:07:27,427
charitable when He gave us pain.
185
00:07:27,516 --> 00:07:30,380
Why couldn't He have used
a-a doorbell to let us know?
186
00:07:30,405 --> 00:07:31,755
[BOTH LAUGHING]
187
00:07:31,780 --> 00:07:34,153
Or one of... Or one of
His celestial choirs?
188
00:07:34,362 --> 00:07:36,366
You know, when you think
about the chance that He had
189
00:07:36,390 --> 00:07:38,342
to do something good, and
then you look at the stupid
190
00:07:38,366 --> 00:07:40,169
ugly mess that He made of it instead,
191
00:07:40,273 --> 00:07:41,591
His incompetence is staggering.
192
00:07:41,616 --> 00:07:43,068
Better be careful what
you say about Him, honey.
193
00:07:43,092 --> 00:07:44,426
He might punish you.
194
00:07:44,721 --> 00:07:46,081
Like He doesn't punish me already.
195
00:07:46,673 --> 00:07:48,550
YOSSARIAN: You know, one
day I'm gonna make Him pay.
196
00:07:48,574 --> 00:07:53,111
One day I'm gonna grab that
little yokel by His neck.
197
00:07:53,136 --> 00:07:54,924
You're gonna be in so much trouble.
198
00:07:54,949 --> 00:07:56,650
[LAUGHING]
199
00:07:57,820 --> 00:07:59,133
I thought you didn't believe in God.
200
00:07:59,157 --> 00:08:00,203
I don't.
201
00:08:00,830 --> 00:08:03,367
But the God I don't
believe in is a good God.
202
00:08:03,695 --> 00:08:06,429
Not the mean and stupid
God you make Him out to be.
203
00:08:07,298 --> 00:08:08,992
I'm not making Him
out to be anything.
204
00:08:09,017 --> 00:08:11,023
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm just reporting the facts.
205
00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:15,003
[LAUGHS]
206
00:08:20,825 --> 00:08:24,289
[JAN GARBER ORCHESTRA'S
"APACHE DANCE" PLAYING]
207
00:08:24,314 --> 00:08:27,601
- MAN: [LAUGHS]
- MAN 2: Take it easy, McWatt.
208
00:08:27,626 --> 00:08:29,835
Get in the goddamn bunk.
It's almost lights out.
209
00:08:29,860 --> 00:08:31,110
Hey, what time's the
parade drill tomorrow?
210
00:08:31,134 --> 00:08:32,762
- 0600.
- DUNBAR: Fuck, great.
211
00:08:32,787 --> 00:08:35,123
- Fucking meaningless.
- They have a meaning.
212
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,037
- YOSSARIAN: They're meaningless.
- That's not true, Yo-Yo.
213
00:08:37,061 --> 00:08:39,108
YOSSARIAN: Tell me one thing that's
not meaningless about parades.
214
00:08:39,132 --> 00:08:40,740
Discipline, chain of command,
215
00:08:40,765 --> 00:08:43,295
working together as a unit, geometry.
216
00:08:43,473 --> 00:08:45,912
DUNBAR: Bullshit, Clevinger.
Yo-Yo, you're right.
217
00:08:45,937 --> 00:08:48,097
- There ain't one thing he can name.
- MAN: Lights out!
218
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:49,778
Cohesion.
219
00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:51,241
Now you're just repeating yourself.
220
00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:52,265
CLEVINGER: No, I'm not.
221
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,304
No, you're out of your mind.
222
00:08:53,328 --> 00:08:55,088
Parades aren't designed
to teach us anything.
223
00:08:55,363 --> 00:08:57,075
They're designed to humiliate us.
224
00:08:57,402 --> 00:08:59,272
They're designed to make
us suffer the indignity
225
00:08:59,296 --> 00:09:01,185
of doing something entirely pointless
226
00:09:01,383 --> 00:09:03,177
so that sadistic fuck Scheisskopf
227
00:09:03,202 --> 00:09:04,830
can demonstrate he has power over us,
228
00:09:04,962 --> 00:09:07,146
'cause apparently that's
how sadists get their kicks.
229
00:09:08,605 --> 00:09:10,161
The more pointless the activity,
230
00:09:10,186 --> 00:09:12,966
the greater our humiliation,
and the more power he feels.
231
00:09:13,104 --> 00:09:15,467
And we can sit here and pretend
all we want that there must be
232
00:09:15,491 --> 00:09:17,873
some more noble war-effort-type purpose
233
00:09:17,898 --> 00:09:19,873
to all this walking around
in fucking rectangles,
234
00:09:19,898 --> 00:09:21,014
but there isn't one.
235
00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,483
We do parades so Scheisskopf
can feel like a tough guy.
236
00:09:24,870 --> 00:09:26,069
That's what parades are for.
237
00:09:26,437 --> 00:09:28,178
DUNBAR: Yeah, that's
what parades are for.
238
00:09:28,593 --> 00:09:29,764
They disgust me.
239
00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:31,983
Make me feel sick in the stomach.
240
00:09:36,449 --> 00:09:37,842
Yeah, me too, buddy. Sick...
241
00:09:39,065 --> 00:09:40,065
in my stomach.
242
00:09:43,592 --> 00:09:45,260
- DANEEKA: Feel this?
- YOSSARIAN: Yeah.
243
00:09:45,285 --> 00:09:47,553
- Ah, God, that hurts.
- DANEEKA: Mmm, how about here?
244
00:09:47,578 --> 00:09:48,709
YOSSARIAN: Ah, yeah.
245
00:09:48,734 --> 00:09:50,243
DANEEKA: And what about when I tap here?
246
00:09:50,267 --> 00:09:52,103
- How does that feel?
- YOSSARIAN: Ooh, rough.
247
00:09:52,128 --> 00:09:54,299
- DANEEKA: How does this feel?
- YOSSARIAN: Mm, it hurts.
248
00:09:54,323 --> 00:09:55,906
- DANEEKA: And here?
- YOSSARIAN: [GROANS]
249
00:09:55,930 --> 00:09:57,668
- DANEEKA: What about this?
- YOSSARIAN: [GROANS]
250
00:09:57,692 --> 00:09:59,498
- DANEEKA: And how about here?
- YOSSARIAN: [GROANS]
251
00:09:59,522 --> 00:10:00,595
- DANEEKA: Here?
- YOSSARIAN: [GROANS]
252
00:10:00,619 --> 00:10:02,259
- DANEEKA: When I tap here?
- [GROANS]
253
00:10:02,382 --> 00:10:03,399
DANEEKA: Mm-hmm.
254
00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:05,682
There's nothing wrong
with your appendix.
255
00:10:05,706 --> 00:10:06,822
Are you sure?
256
00:10:06,847 --> 00:10:08,097
DANEEKA: Next time say it's your liver.
257
00:10:08,121 --> 00:10:09,917
Something wrong with your liver,
I can keep you here for weeks.
258
00:10:09,941 --> 00:10:11,339
There's something wrong with my liver.
259
00:10:11,363 --> 00:10:13,067
Nice try. There's nothing
wrong with your liver.
260
00:10:13,091 --> 00:10:14,491
That shows how much you don't know.
261
00:10:17,296 --> 00:10:19,050
So how does a doctor
end up here, anyway?
262
00:10:19,243 --> 00:10:20,683
Did you sign up for this shit?
263
00:10:21,514 --> 00:10:23,441
Why aren't you off somewhere
doing regular doctoring?
264
00:10:23,465 --> 00:10:25,026
Believe me, I don't want to be here.
265
00:10:25,376 --> 00:10:26,855
I examined myself pretty thoroughly
266
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,816
and found that I was unfit for service.
267
00:10:28,922 --> 00:10:31,058
Now, you'd think my word
would be enough, but, no.
268
00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:33,456
They send some guy from the
draft board to look me over.
269
00:10:33,548 --> 00:10:35,105
Starts disputing my Four-F.
270
00:10:35,236 --> 00:10:37,114
You know, John, we
live in a... in an age
271
00:10:37,139 --> 00:10:38,909
of deteriorating spiritual values.
272
00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:42,168
It's really a... it's a terrible thing
when... when even the word
273
00:10:42,193 --> 00:10:44,614
of a licensed small-town
physician is questioned
274
00:10:44,639 --> 00:10:46,028
by the country he loves.
275
00:10:46,804 --> 00:10:48,747
- What's a Four-F?
- I just told you...
276
00:10:48,772 --> 00:10:50,293
it's my fitness for military service.
277
00:10:51,180 --> 00:10:52,773
I can't do these goddamn parades, Doc.
278
00:10:52,798 --> 00:10:54,743
- They're gonna kill me.
- Parades never killed anyone.
279
00:10:54,767 --> 00:10:56,283
- YOSSARIAN: I bet they have.
- Not many.
280
00:10:56,307 --> 00:10:58,179
- Come on, Doc.
- DANEEKA: I'll tell you what.
281
00:10:58,345 --> 00:11:00,710
I'll help you out when I
know it can do you some good.
282
00:11:01,124 --> 00:11:03,820
In the meantime, choose your battles.
283
00:11:04,669 --> 00:11:06,189
Parades are the least of your worries.
284
00:11:15,103 --> 00:11:16,103
[SIGHS]
285
00:11:19,641 --> 00:11:22,521
["THE U. S. AIR FORCE" PLAYING]
286
00:11:22,546 --> 00:11:25,466
[MAN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
287
00:11:27,014 --> 00:11:30,365
♪ ♪
288
00:11:40,582 --> 00:11:44,046
[MAN CONTINUES SHOUTING]
289
00:11:44,071 --> 00:11:47,524
♪ ♪
290
00:11:52,602 --> 00:11:55,899
[MAN CONTINUES SHOUTING]
291
00:11:56,836 --> 00:12:02,515
♪ ♪
292
00:12:07,952 --> 00:12:10,070
[MILITARISTIC PERCUSSION]
293
00:12:11,648 --> 00:12:17,046
♪ ♪
294
00:12:26,326 --> 00:12:27,326
Hey.
295
00:12:27,449 --> 00:12:33,294
♪ ♪
296
00:12:35,663 --> 00:12:37,171
[WHISPERING] Clevinger, are you okay?
297
00:12:37,508 --> 00:12:42,183
♪ ♪
298
00:12:42,426 --> 00:12:43,426
Hey.
299
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:46,626
♪ ♪
300
00:12:46,651 --> 00:12:47,651
Clevinger.
301
00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,311
[PEOPLE GASP]
302
00:12:49,442 --> 00:12:51,045
PEELE: Stumbling without authority,
303
00:12:51,289 --> 00:12:53,365
breaking formation while in formation,
304
00:12:53,390 --> 00:12:56,076
indiscriminate behavior, mopery,
305
00:12:56,246 --> 00:12:57,246
provoking.
306
00:12:57,271 --> 00:12:58,631
Do you want me to keep going, sir?
307
00:12:59,038 --> 00:13:01,311
- And his friend?
- Uh, that'd be, uh...
308
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:04,592
That'd be aiding and abetting
all of the above, sir.
309
00:13:04,872 --> 00:13:06,708
As to these charges, how do you plead?
310
00:13:07,022 --> 00:13:08,022
Not guilty.
311
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,770
And what makes you think we care?
312
00:13:11,361 --> 00:13:12,419
You're here because you're trouble
313
00:13:12,443 --> 00:13:14,446
and nobody likes trouble. Do you?
314
00:13:15,004 --> 00:13:17,091
- Do I like trouble?
- You think this is funny?
315
00:13:17,328 --> 00:13:18,982
In 60 days, you're gonna
be fighting the Hun,
316
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,420
and you think this is a big, fat joke?
317
00:13:20,444 --> 00:13:21,881
- I don't think it's a joke...
- Don't interrupt me.
318
00:13:21,905 --> 00:13:23,342
- And say "sir" when you do.
- Yes, sir.
319
00:13:23,366 --> 00:13:24,374
Didn't I just tell you
not to interrupt me?
320
00:13:24,398 --> 00:13:25,518
But I didn't interrupt, sir.
321
00:13:26,628 --> 00:13:28,178
Are you mentally retarded, son?
322
00:13:28,657 --> 00:13:29,984
CLEVINGER: No, sir. I'm just innocent.
323
00:13:30,008 --> 00:13:31,663
- I'm innocent until proven guilty.
- Says who?
324
00:13:31,687 --> 00:13:33,398
- Everyone, sir. The Bill of Rights.
- SCHEISSKOPF: Yeah.
325
00:13:33,422 --> 00:13:35,056
- The Declaration of Independence.
- You believe all that crap?
326
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,074
Yes, sir. I'm a free citizen in
a free country and I have certain...
327
00:13:37,098 --> 00:13:39,418
You are nothing of the kind.
You are a prisoner at my dock.
328
00:13:39,480 --> 00:13:41,631
So you stand here, and
you keep your mouth shut!
329
00:13:41,656 --> 00:13:42,656
Yes, sir!
330
00:13:46,566 --> 00:13:48,486
SCHEISSKOPF: Now, what
did you mean when you said
331
00:13:48,568 --> 00:13:50,577
- that we couldn't punish you?
- When, sir?
332
00:13:50,602 --> 00:13:52,149
I'm asking the questions.
You're answering them.
333
00:13:52,173 --> 00:13:53,186
- CLEVINGER: Yes, sir.
- SCHEISSKOPFF: You think we brought you
334
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:54,907
here so that you could ask me questions
335
00:13:54,932 --> 00:13:55,970
- and I would answer them?
- CLEVINGER: No, sir.
336
00:13:55,994 --> 00:13:57,550
Then what the hell did
you mean when you said
337
00:13:57,574 --> 00:13:59,808
- that we could not punish you?
- CLEVINGER: I'm sorry, sir.
338
00:13:59,832 --> 00:14:01,089
I never said that you
couldn't punish me.
339
00:14:01,113 --> 00:14:02,378
SCHEISSKOPFF: Now you're
telling us when you did say it.
340
00:14:02,402 --> 00:14:04,034
I'm asking you to tell
us when you didn't say it.
341
00:14:04,058 --> 00:14:06,369
When didn't you say
we couldn't punish you?
342
00:14:06,394 --> 00:14:08,026
I always didn't say
you couldn't punish me.
343
00:14:08,050 --> 00:14:09,260
That a bare-faced lie!
344
00:14:09,285 --> 00:14:10,932
You whispered that
we couldn't punish you
345
00:14:10,957 --> 00:14:13,004
to that dumb son of a
bitch standing right there!
346
00:14:13,029 --> 00:14:14,761
Oh, no, sir, I whispered to him
that you couldn't find me guilty.
347
00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:17,664
Well, I must be stupid, because
the distinction escapes me!
348
00:14:17,689 --> 00:14:19,408
You're a windy son of
a bitch, aren't you?
349
00:14:19,433 --> 00:14:21,463
- No, sir.
- No, sir? You're calling me a liar now?
350
00:14:21,488 --> 00:14:22,908
- No, sir.
- No, what, sir?
351
00:14:22,933 --> 00:14:24,323
- No, what...
- No, what?
352
00:14:24,348 --> 00:14:25,348
What, sir?
353
00:14:28,831 --> 00:14:31,308
- Read me back the last line.
- "Read me back the last line."
354
00:14:31,333 --> 00:14:33,011
Not my last line. Somebody else's.
355
00:14:35,180 --> 00:14:38,073
- "Read me back the last line."
- That's my last line again.
356
00:14:38,098 --> 00:14:39,597
Oh, no, sir. That's my last line.
357
00:14:39,710 --> 00:14:41,110
I read it to you just a moment ago.
358
00:14:42,204 --> 00:14:43,539
[GRUNTS]
359
00:14:43,564 --> 00:14:46,569
[TOMMY DORSEY'S "SONG OF INDIA"]
360
00:14:46,594 --> 00:14:49,140
♪ ♪
361
00:14:49,165 --> 00:14:50,636
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
362
00:14:50,743 --> 00:14:52,019
I'm sorry, buddy.
363
00:14:52,044 --> 00:14:55,383
♪ ♪
364
00:14:56,525 --> 00:14:58,683
MARION: Do you sleep with
me because you like me
365
00:14:58,708 --> 00:15:01,050
or because you hate my husband?
366
00:15:01,292 --> 00:15:02,615
[CHUCKLES]
367
00:15:02,857 --> 00:15:04,550
- A bit of both.
- [CHUCKLES] Hmm.
368
00:15:05,929 --> 00:15:07,386
I could ask you the same question.
369
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:12,581
Mm, you know, I'd say you're not allowed
370
00:15:12,606 --> 00:15:14,066
to hate him so much.
371
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:16,425
You should leave that to me.
372
00:15:18,429 --> 00:15:19,653
Besides, you're leaving tomorrow.
373
00:15:19,677 --> 00:15:21,238
You'll never have to see him again.
374
00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:25,885
You know why I joined the Air Corp?
375
00:15:26,224 --> 00:15:27,224
Mhm.
376
00:15:28,463 --> 00:15:30,327
'Cause I knew that I'd
be dragged into this shit
377
00:15:30,351 --> 00:15:31,357
one way or another.
378
00:15:32,208 --> 00:15:34,642
And I knew that bomber
crews required more training
379
00:15:34,667 --> 00:15:36,605
than anybody else in the military, so...
380
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,642
I just figured war would be over
381
00:15:39,667 --> 00:15:41,314
by the time my training
finished. [SCOFFS]
382
00:15:42,073 --> 00:15:44,384
Well, that was wishful thinking, hon.
383
00:15:45,930 --> 00:15:48,025
Yeah, I'm beginning to realize
I may have been wrong.
384
00:15:50,262 --> 00:15:52,400
[DISTANT EXPLOSIONS]
385
00:15:52,425 --> 00:15:54,888
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
386
00:15:54,913 --> 00:15:56,916
[AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING]
387
00:15:56,941 --> 00:15:58,902
[BOOMING]
388
00:15:59,586 --> 00:16:00,952
Jesus Christ!
389
00:16:01,216 --> 00:16:03,404
[MEN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO]
390
00:16:05,693 --> 00:16:07,348
All right, time to target?
391
00:16:07,373 --> 00:16:09,590
MAN OVER RADIO: 30 seconds
to the run, 30 seconds.
392
00:16:09,909 --> 00:16:10,956
Compression.
393
00:16:11,109 --> 00:16:13,254
MAN OVER RADIO: All
right, pay attention, boys.
394
00:16:13,988 --> 00:16:16,348
MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Okay,
steady. Hold steady!
395
00:16:16,373 --> 00:16:20,802
- Holding steady, three-four-nine.
- Three-four-nine at 9,000 feet.
396
00:16:20,965 --> 00:16:22,873
MAN OVER RADIO: Roger
that, holding at 9,000.
397
00:16:23,058 --> 00:16:24,264
MAN 2 OVER RADIO:
Yossarian, we're approaching.
398
00:16:24,288 --> 00:16:25,591
Are you on a steady heading?
399
00:16:25,616 --> 00:16:27,216
YOSSARIAN: Yes, I'm on a steady heading.
400
00:16:28,232 --> 00:16:29,880
MAN: We're getting hammered back here!
401
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,084
MAN 2: "Yankee Doodle,"
what's your status?
402
00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:32,468
YOSSARIAN: Opening bomb bay doors.
403
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,365
MAN: Let's go. Open them up.
404
00:16:34,390 --> 00:16:35,396
Open them up!
405
00:16:35,421 --> 00:16:37,583
MAN 2: Hey, McWatt,
reading at oh-four-two,
406
00:16:37,608 --> 00:16:39,208
holding at 5,000.
407
00:16:39,233 --> 00:16:41,194
MCWATT: Oh-four-two at 5,000.
408
00:16:41,586 --> 00:16:43,366
MAN OVER RADIO: They're gonna
have to get up a little higher.
409
00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:44,982
Let's just hold it steady right there.
410
00:16:45,007 --> 00:16:46,759
[BOOMING]
411
00:16:47,457 --> 00:16:49,482
- MAN: How we looking here?
- We're holding.
412
00:16:49,756 --> 00:16:51,685
MAN: Come on, let's drop
them! Just drop them!
413
00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:52,818
Here we go.
414
00:16:53,241 --> 00:16:55,131
MAN: Adjusting for drift, three degrees.
415
00:16:55,156 --> 00:16:56,897
MAN 2: Three degrees, roger that.
416
00:16:57,865 --> 00:17:00,169
- MAN 3: On your left!
- MAN 4: Oh, it's too strong!
417
00:17:00,194 --> 00:17:01,780
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
418
00:17:01,805 --> 00:17:03,933
MAN 5: How do I know?
I can't see anything!
419
00:17:04,188 --> 00:17:06,191
[RATTLING]
420
00:17:06,402 --> 00:17:07,982
We almost there, Yo-Yo?
421
00:17:08,115 --> 00:17:09,285
YOSSARIAN: Steady.
422
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:12,902
Closing in on target, fellas.
423
00:17:13,107 --> 00:17:14,525
[GUNFIRE]
424
00:17:15,304 --> 00:17:16,589
Holy fuck!
425
00:17:16,834 --> 00:17:18,691
MAN OVER RADIO: Yo-Yo,
come on. Where are they?
426
00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:19,973
YOSSARIAN: Holding steady.
427
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:21,997
MAN OVER RADIO: Can you
hurry the fuck up up there?
428
00:17:22,102 --> 00:17:23,939
- We're dying back here!
- YOSSARIAN: Holding...
429
00:17:23,963 --> 00:17:25,431
- MAN OVER RADIO: Come on!
- And...
430
00:17:25,456 --> 00:17:27,830
- MAN: Drop them already, Yo-Yo.
- MAN 2: Let's go! Drop them!
431
00:17:27,854 --> 00:17:29,091
Bombs away!
432
00:17:29,969 --> 00:17:32,747
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
433
00:17:32,912 --> 00:17:34,748
MAN: They're away! They're away!
434
00:17:35,146 --> 00:17:36,888
- And we're off!
- YOSSARIAN: All right!
435
00:17:37,051 --> 00:17:38,922
Over to you, McWatt! Get us out of here!
436
00:17:38,947 --> 00:17:39,947
We're done!
437
00:17:39,972 --> 00:17:41,864
MCWATT: All right, getting
us out of this shit.
438
00:17:43,153 --> 00:17:44,553
MAN OVER RADIO: We're
still getting strikes!
439
00:17:44,577 --> 00:17:46,834
We got to go! Jesus Christ!
440
00:17:47,688 --> 00:17:48,819
MAN: You all right up there?
441
00:17:48,971 --> 00:17:50,389
McWatt, are you okay?
442
00:17:51,584 --> 00:17:52,584
Fuck.
443
00:17:52,609 --> 00:17:54,738
MAN: We got you, we
got you. You're okay.
444
00:17:54,763 --> 00:17:58,227
♪ ♪
445
00:17:58,252 --> 00:17:59,479
[GROANING]
446
00:17:59,888 --> 00:18:02,225
♪ ♪
447
00:18:03,195 --> 00:18:04,195
Christ.
448
00:18:05,303 --> 00:18:06,807
Oh, Christ.
449
00:18:13,881 --> 00:18:16,580
♪ A buzzard took a monkey
for a ride in the air ♪
450
00:18:16,605 --> 00:18:19,800
♪ The monkey thought that
everything was on the square ♪
451
00:18:20,144 --> 00:18:22,763
♪ The buzzard tried to throw
the monkey off of his back ♪
452
00:18:23,076 --> 00:18:26,099
♪ The monkey grabbed his neck
and said, "Now, listen, Jack" ♪
453
00:18:26,803 --> 00:18:28,722
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
454
00:18:28,747 --> 00:18:29,920
♪ ♪
455
00:18:29,945 --> 00:18:31,819
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
456
00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:33,037
♪ ♪
457
00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:34,928
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
458
00:18:35,475 --> 00:18:38,514
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
459
00:18:39,177 --> 00:18:41,279
♪ Ain't no use in diving ♪
460
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:44,178
♪ What's the use of jiving? ♪
461
00:18:45,276 --> 00:18:47,272
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
462
00:18:47,945 --> 00:18:50,742
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
463
00:18:51,094 --> 00:18:54,274
♪ The buzzard told the
monkey, "You are choking me ♪
464
00:18:54,299 --> 00:18:57,221
♪ Release your hold, and
I will set you free" ♪
465
00:18:57,383 --> 00:18:58,657
♪ The monkey looked the buzzard ♪
466
00:18:58,681 --> 00:19:00,602
♪ Right dead in the eye and said ♪
467
00:19:00,627 --> 00:19:02,130
♪ "Your story's so touching ♪
468
00:19:02,155 --> 00:19:03,649
♪ But it sounds just like a lie" ♪
469
00:19:04,181 --> 00:19:06,070
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
470
00:19:07,235 --> 00:19:09,219
♪ Straighten up and stay right ♪
471
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,211
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
472
00:19:12,892 --> 00:19:15,772
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
473
00:19:15,797 --> 00:19:20,742
♪ ♪
474
00:19:26,908 --> 00:19:32,006
♪ ♪
475
00:19:32,031 --> 00:19:34,768
[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]
476
00:19:35,904 --> 00:19:37,797
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
477
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,891
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
478
00:19:41,993 --> 00:19:43,945
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
479
00:19:44,946 --> 00:19:47,575
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
480
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,219
[AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING OVERHEAD]
481
00:19:49,244 --> 00:19:51,453
ED DAVEY: It is time to
support the war effort.
482
00:19:51,558 --> 00:19:52,992
Buy war bonds.
483
00:19:53,102 --> 00:19:55,078
Buy them until we turn back Tokyo
484
00:19:55,103 --> 00:19:56,914
and there's a white flag over Japan.
485
00:19:57,477 --> 00:19:59,500
And what's more, keep those bonds.
486
00:19:59,656 --> 00:20:01,296
Hold them for your future.
487
00:20:01,455 --> 00:20:03,039
This is Ed Davey signing off.
488
00:20:03,227 --> 00:20:05,078
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
489
00:20:06,099 --> 00:20:08,234
♪ Straighten up and stay right ♪
490
00:20:09,419 --> 00:20:11,312
♪ Straighten up and fly right ♪
491
00:20:12,142 --> 00:20:15,883
♪ Cool down, papa,
don't you blow your top ♪
492
00:20:15,908 --> 00:20:17,493
♪ ♪
493
00:20:17,518 --> 00:20:18,898
♪ Fly right ♪
494
00:20:25,127 --> 00:20:26,789
- Hey.
- How'd it go?
495
00:20:26,972 --> 00:20:28,930
Oh, we took some flak.
496
00:20:29,129 --> 00:20:30,394
I bet you did.
497
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:33,511
Fellas, hi.
498
00:20:33,946 --> 00:20:36,746
This is Mudd. Henry Mudd.
He's your new bunkmate.
499
00:20:36,910 --> 00:20:38,020
I think there's been a mistake.
500
00:20:38,044 --> 00:20:39,324
I think there's been a mistake.
501
00:20:39,349 --> 00:20:40,726
I'm fairly certain
there's been a mistake.
502
00:20:40,750 --> 00:20:42,466
Well, it says right here he's...
503
00:20:44,108 --> 00:20:45,708
Well, he's bunking
down with you and Orr.
504
00:20:48,020 --> 00:20:49,692
Right, well, I'll leave you men to it.
505
00:20:50,590 --> 00:20:52,458
- Hey, Milo.
- MILO: Hi, Reverend!
506
00:20:52,540 --> 00:20:53,708
Yo-Yo. Orr.
507
00:20:53,876 --> 00:20:56,450
Oh, hi. I'm Milo Minderbinder.
508
00:20:56,601 --> 00:20:58,148
- YOSSARIAN: This is Mudd.
- Henry Mudd.
509
00:20:58,172 --> 00:21:01,130
Well, Henry, you've arrived
at precisely the right time.
510
00:21:02,633 --> 00:21:05,064
I'd say there's plenty more where
these came from, but there isn't.
511
00:21:05,088 --> 00:21:06,648
That's how special these two are to me.
512
00:21:07,265 --> 00:21:08,391
Go on. Take a few.
513
00:21:08,416 --> 00:21:10,477
- Now we're talking.
- MILO: You too, Henry.
514
00:21:14,844 --> 00:21:16,289
Come on, one for later.
515
00:21:19,981 --> 00:21:20,981
Beautiful.
516
00:21:21,006 --> 00:21:22,922
All right, gentlemen,
I'm doing the rounds.
517
00:21:22,947 --> 00:21:25,469
If anyone asks, these
are going two for a dime.
518
00:21:27,683 --> 00:21:29,508
Good to meet you, Henry Mudd.
519
00:21:35,673 --> 00:21:36,891
You can drop your bags.
520
00:21:52,683 --> 00:21:55,281
Uh, they told me to check
in at the administration tent.
521
00:21:56,543 --> 00:21:58,243
YOSSARIAN: Well, that's
what you should do, then.
522
00:21:58,267 --> 00:21:59,281
Do you know where it is?
523
00:22:00,351 --> 00:22:02,039
Well, you follow this path up here,
524
00:22:02,064 --> 00:22:03,782
and when you hit the
latrines, you take a left,
525
00:22:03,806 --> 00:22:06,006
and the Administrations is
the second tent on the right.
526
00:22:06,492 --> 00:22:07,492
Thanks.
527
00:22:08,324 --> 00:22:09,383
I'll be right back.
528
00:22:10,345 --> 00:22:11,347
Yeah.
529
00:22:18,008 --> 00:22:21,336
Great. That's fucking great.
530
00:22:25,152 --> 00:22:27,360
Oh, fuck. Third tent!
531
00:22:28,003 --> 00:22:29,891
It's the third tent on the right!
532
00:22:35,807 --> 00:22:37,392
[GROANS]
533
00:22:37,761 --> 00:22:40,767
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
534
00:22:56,957 --> 00:22:58,704
KORN: All right, I want you
to pay particular attention
535
00:22:58,728 --> 00:22:59,749
to this right here.
536
00:22:59,858 --> 00:23:02,758
The heaviest flak is
supported right here and here.
537
00:23:03,185 --> 00:23:05,138
- Yes?
- MUDD: Sir, I'm here to report...
538
00:23:05,163 --> 00:23:07,249
- Are you the gunner?
- MUDD: I'm a gunner, yes, sir.
539
00:23:07,437 --> 00:23:08,943
Crosby, your tail gunner's here!
540
00:23:08,968 --> 00:23:11,052
Hurry up, then! We're
going up in four minutes!
541
00:23:11,077 --> 00:23:13,498
This has been cleared last
week as another squadron...
542
00:23:13,523 --> 00:23:16,483
Uh, sir, I'm a side
gunner, not a... I don't...
543
00:23:16,508 --> 00:23:18,131
- KORN: Go, go, go!
- Yes, sir.
544
00:23:24,106 --> 00:23:27,529
[JAZZ MUSIC]
545
00:23:27,554 --> 00:23:32,858
♪ ♪
546
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:25,877
- YOSSARIAN: What?
- DUNBAR: Knife?
547
00:24:26,126 --> 00:24:27,804
YOSSARIAN: I'm not your
mother, Dunbar, but here.
548
00:24:27,828 --> 00:24:30,541
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
549
00:24:43,483 --> 00:24:44,483
What's your name?
550
00:24:45,067 --> 00:24:46,124
Major.
551
00:24:47,510 --> 00:24:50,140
- You're not a major.
- No, no. That's my name.
552
00:24:50,872 --> 00:24:52,772
YOSSARIAN: Well, I'm
not calling you Major.
553
00:24:52,797 --> 00:24:55,038
- What's your Christian name?
- Major. It... it's Major.
554
00:24:55,195 --> 00:24:56,960
No, your... your Christian name.
555
00:24:57,095 --> 00:24:58,585
He means what's your first name.
556
00:24:58,719 --> 00:25:00,759
That's what I'm saying.
My first name is Major, too.
557
00:25:00,897 --> 00:25:04,296
- You're kidding me.
- DUNBAR: [LAUGHS] You serious?
558
00:25:04,321 --> 00:25:05,374
It's a funny story.
559
00:25:05,399 --> 00:25:07,430
My... my mother was rather
exhausted from giving birth
560
00:25:07,454 --> 00:25:09,082
to me... she had lost a lot of blood.
561
00:25:09,282 --> 00:25:11,366
Uh, my father filled in the forms.
562
00:25:11,739 --> 00:25:14,326
- And he calls you Major?
- It's my middle name, too.
563
00:25:14,351 --> 00:25:15,415
DUNBAR: Let me get this right.
564
00:25:15,439 --> 00:25:19,093
Your father named you Major Major Major?
565
00:25:19,260 --> 00:25:21,281
He came back into the ward,
and he said to my mother,
566
00:25:21,305 --> 00:25:23,267
"I've named him Caleb in
accordance with your wishes."
567
00:25:23,291 --> 00:25:25,798
- But... but he was lying.
- [LAUGHS]
568
00:25:26,079 --> 00:25:28,228
You're Sergeant Major Major Major?
569
00:25:28,253 --> 00:25:30,757
Uh, yeah. I've... I've
made peace with it.
570
00:25:30,782 --> 00:25:32,620
Tell me this. Have you had a tough life?
571
00:25:32,788 --> 00:25:34,792
[LAUGHS]
572
00:25:34,817 --> 00:25:37,440
You can call me Caleb. Even
just... just Cal would be okay.
573
00:25:37,465 --> 00:25:38,471
DUNBAR: Hey, fellas!
574
00:25:38,496 --> 00:25:41,979
This guy's name is Major Major Major.
575
00:25:42,004 --> 00:25:44,969
[LAUGHTER]
576
00:25:49,347 --> 00:25:52,353
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
577
00:25:54,615 --> 00:25:56,409
- SOLDIER: Sir.
- [CHATTER FADES]
578
00:26:07,714 --> 00:26:11,552
[LIQUID SLOSHING]
579
00:26:12,544 --> 00:26:15,192
- What is this nonsense?
- It's meat, sir...
580
00:26:15,505 --> 00:26:17,747
and vegetables, I think.
581
00:26:18,040 --> 00:26:19,864
God, abominable.
582
00:26:21,016 --> 00:26:23,903
I will have sardines
on toast in my tent.
583
00:26:24,201 --> 00:26:25,247
Of course, sir.
584
00:26:27,807 --> 00:26:30,253
ORR: Did you hear about
that plane this afternoon?
585
00:26:30,487 --> 00:26:32,337
- YOSSARIAN: What plane?
- That plane went down
586
00:26:32,362 --> 00:26:33,698
that the kid was on.
587
00:26:34,222 --> 00:26:35,675
- What kid?
- Mudd.
588
00:26:36,569 --> 00:26:39,058
- Who's Mudd?
- The kid from our tent.
589
00:26:42,179 --> 00:26:43,179
Oh, shit.
590
00:26:43,212 --> 00:26:44,768
He didn't even unpack his kit.
591
00:26:44,793 --> 00:26:47,255
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
592
00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:48,972
- He went down?
- ORR: He's gone.
593
00:26:49,859 --> 00:26:51,319
Done and dusted.
594
00:26:51,601 --> 00:26:56,026
♪ ♪
595
00:26:56,152 --> 00:26:57,152
Poor guy.
596
00:26:57,479 --> 00:27:00,453
♪ ♪
597
00:27:25,355 --> 00:27:27,666
[LAUGHTER]
598
00:27:27,776 --> 00:27:30,531
♪ ♪
599
00:27:30,564 --> 00:27:32,065
[LAUGHTER]
600
00:27:32,090 --> 00:27:33,425
- Oh!
- [WHOOSH]
601
00:27:33,450 --> 00:27:35,019
[ALL SHOUTING]
602
00:27:35,290 --> 00:27:37,196
- MAN: Oh, fuck!
- There goes the hot water.
603
00:27:37,221 --> 00:27:38,221
MAN 2: Oh!
604
00:27:38,533 --> 00:27:39,860
♪ ♪
605
00:27:39,968 --> 00:27:43,743
Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, it's,
uh... it's a type of oil valve.
606
00:27:43,776 --> 00:27:45,779
I actually know how to modify that.
607
00:27:45,950 --> 00:27:48,955
♪ ♪
608
00:27:48,979 --> 00:27:51,984
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
609
00:27:52,009 --> 00:27:55,844
♪ ♪
610
00:27:59,699 --> 00:28:01,376
I'm not sure I can take this shit.
611
00:28:02,285 --> 00:28:04,618
DUNBAR: A little cold water
never hurt nobody, Yo-Yo.
612
00:28:06,041 --> 00:28:07,688
No, I can't fly more missions.
613
00:28:07,819 --> 00:28:09,400
CLEVINGER: We're winning
this thing, Yossarian.
614
00:28:09,424 --> 00:28:11,165
You've already flown 16 missions.
615
00:28:11,276 --> 00:28:12,626
25 and we can go home.
616
00:28:12,749 --> 00:28:14,962
Yeah, I can't do nine more.
617
00:28:14,997 --> 00:28:16,477
NATELY: Well, we're winning this war.
618
00:28:16,606 --> 00:28:18,109
That's what they say, anyways.
619
00:28:18,289 --> 00:28:20,141
You know, Rome is about to fall,
620
00:28:20,166 --> 00:28:21,206
and the Germans are toast.
621
00:28:21,260 --> 00:28:23,032
The Germans are toast. Exactly.
622
00:28:23,292 --> 00:28:25,391
No more planes. Ground troops only.
623
00:28:25,416 --> 00:28:26,496
And they're all retreating.
624
00:28:27,121 --> 00:28:28,969
So why the hell are we
still flying missions?
625
00:28:28,994 --> 00:28:30,759
'Cause we got to... we
got to polish them off.
626
00:28:30,783 --> 00:28:32,009
YOSSARIAN: Well, you
can polish them off.
627
00:28:32,033 --> 00:28:34,314
I don't want to be the one
who dies showing them the door.
628
00:28:49,495 --> 00:28:51,158
YOSSARIAN: There's something
wrong with my liver.
629
00:28:51,182 --> 00:28:52,213
DUCKETT: What's wrong with it?
630
00:28:52,237 --> 00:28:53,757
- Well, it hurts.
- Where does it hurt?
631
00:28:53,901 --> 00:28:55,541
- In my liver.
- Will you show me exactly?
632
00:28:55,664 --> 00:28:57,209
Uh...
633
00:28:59,182 --> 00:29:01,182
- That's not your liver.
- YOSSARIAN: Are you sure?
634
00:29:03,256 --> 00:29:04,821
Well, well, well...
635
00:29:05,272 --> 00:29:06,797
- YOSSARIAN: Doc!
- Let me guess.
636
00:29:06,901 --> 00:29:07,901
Liver?
637
00:29:08,727 --> 00:29:09,860
Thank you, Sue Anne.
638
00:29:10,174 --> 00:29:11,830
- Do I need to call the priest?
- What are you doing here?
639
00:29:11,854 --> 00:29:13,243
I asked myself the same question.
640
00:29:13,268 --> 00:29:14,618
I go where they tell me to go.
641
00:29:15,198 --> 00:29:16,211
So...
642
00:29:17,586 --> 00:29:19,055
are you actually sick this time?
643
00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:20,580
- I feel sick.
- Yeah, but are you sick?
644
00:29:20,604 --> 00:29:22,071
- I honestly feel sick.
- So do I.
645
00:29:22,096 --> 00:29:23,097
But that doesn't mean I am.
646
00:29:23,121 --> 00:29:26,581
Look, I've flown 16 missions.
The mission quota's 25.
647
00:29:26,606 --> 00:29:29,152
I have nine left to fly.
They're entirely pointless.
648
00:29:29,309 --> 00:29:31,003
I mean, the Germans
are on the run, right?
649
00:29:31,223 --> 00:29:33,433
So I figure I just wait it out in here,
650
00:29:33,526 --> 00:29:34,910
if that's okay with you.
651
00:29:34,983 --> 00:29:37,253
So the Germans fold, and
then what do you think happens?
652
00:29:37,286 --> 00:29:38,294
Then I go home.
653
00:29:38,319 --> 00:29:40,772
DANEEKA: You do realize we're fighting
a war in the Pacific right now?
654
00:29:40,796 --> 00:29:43,105
And as soon as Europe is done,
if you haven't already been
655
00:29:43,130 --> 00:29:44,883
formally discharged,
they're gonna ship you
656
00:29:44,908 --> 00:29:47,597
straight out there, and
you do not want to go there.
657
00:29:48,285 --> 00:29:50,167
They got malaria there. Yeah.
658
00:29:50,417 --> 00:29:51,903
They got fungus. They
got two kinds of fungus.
659
00:29:51,927 --> 00:29:54,230
They got a fungus that gets
in your brain and eats it.
660
00:29:54,569 --> 00:29:56,321
They got parasites. They got leeches.
661
00:29:56,447 --> 00:29:58,199
I'd fly your nine
missions, if I was you.
662
00:30:03,609 --> 00:30:06,614
[JOHNNY HODGES' "GOOD QUEEN BESS"]
663
00:30:06,717 --> 00:30:11,660
♪ ♪
664
00:30:16,006 --> 00:30:19,012
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
665
00:30:22,236 --> 00:30:26,139
♪ ♪
666
00:30:29,988 --> 00:30:31,769
- MILO: Hello, sir?
- [KNOCKS ON DOOR]
667
00:30:33,460 --> 00:30:34,837
Major de Coverley, sir?
668
00:30:35,056 --> 00:30:36,409
[METALLIC CLANKING]
669
00:30:41,151 --> 00:30:43,355
[JEEP ENGINES REVVING]
670
00:30:44,839 --> 00:30:47,844
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
671
00:30:47,869 --> 00:30:52,480
♪ ♪
672
00:30:57,769 --> 00:30:58,769
[HORSESHOE CLINKS]
673
00:30:58,794 --> 00:31:01,966
♪ ♪
674
00:31:03,355 --> 00:31:04,745
Hello, sir.
675
00:31:04,770 --> 00:31:06,815
♪ ♪
676
00:31:07,149 --> 00:31:08,706
Sorry to interrupt, sir.
677
00:31:08,884 --> 00:31:11,558
But I think you're
gonna want to see this.
678
00:31:11,686 --> 00:31:15,717
♪ ♪
679
00:31:17,902 --> 00:31:20,550
What? Where'd you get these?
680
00:31:20,905 --> 00:31:23,381
From the highlands of Scotland, sir.
681
00:31:23,668 --> 00:31:25,397
♪ ♪
682
00:31:25,422 --> 00:31:27,311
- Is that so?
- MILO: Yes, sir.
683
00:31:27,336 --> 00:31:29,130
These are highland lamb chops.
684
00:31:29,393 --> 00:31:34,147
♪ ♪
685
00:31:34,231 --> 00:31:37,069
These lambs... oh,
they're fed on the richest,
686
00:31:37,094 --> 00:31:39,724
greenest clover in all of
Great Britain all day long.
687
00:31:39,749 --> 00:31:42,358
I have a friend at the
RAF base in Donibristle
688
00:31:42,383 --> 00:31:44,427
who manages to clear a
little space for an icebox
689
00:31:44,452 --> 00:31:45,787
on one of the courier planes.
690
00:31:45,812 --> 00:31:48,279
I could have these for
you every week, sir.
691
00:31:48,304 --> 00:31:49,326
Donibristle.
692
00:31:49,351 --> 00:31:51,029
Sunday lamb chops, we could call them.
693
00:31:53,061 --> 00:31:54,084
Walk with me.
694
00:31:54,307 --> 00:31:56,645
♪ ♪
695
00:31:57,209 --> 00:31:58,994
MILO: They're not the
easiest things to come by.
696
00:31:59,018 --> 00:32:01,257
If our friend in Scotland
is sending us a steady supply
697
00:32:01,282 --> 00:32:02,287
- of lamb chops...
- Okay.
698
00:32:02,312 --> 00:32:04,064
- Give me another one of these.
- Of course, sir.
699
00:32:04,088 --> 00:32:06,849
If our friend in Scotland is sending
us a steady supply of lamb chops,
700
00:32:06,922 --> 00:32:08,892
I really should be giving
him something in return.
701
00:32:09,048 --> 00:32:11,025
Now, don't get me
wrong. He's a lovely man.
702
00:32:11,050 --> 00:32:12,657
But the lamb chop situation...
703
00:32:12,682 --> 00:32:15,728
[AIRPLANE ENGINES ROARING OVERHEAD]
704
00:32:15,993 --> 00:32:18,689
As we all know, sir, ours
is a mercantile world.
705
00:32:18,817 --> 00:32:20,150
It's a world of give and take.
706
00:32:20,175 --> 00:32:21,549
Our friend in Scotland, for instance,
707
00:32:21,573 --> 00:32:24,202
has a fondness for Sicilian
olives, which I can get.
708
00:32:24,365 --> 00:32:26,775
Now, if I was Mess
Officer, I'd have control
709
00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,581
of the flight manifests
of the cargo planes...
710
00:32:28,605 --> 00:32:30,306
the outgoings, the incomings,
711
00:32:30,331 --> 00:32:31,501
and so on and so forth.
712
00:32:31,604 --> 00:32:33,962
Our friend in Scotland would
be happy in the northern mists
713
00:32:33,987 --> 00:32:37,127
with his olives. You'd be
happy with your lamb chops.
714
00:32:37,477 --> 00:32:40,205
I could devote my full
attention to such matters,
715
00:32:40,230 --> 00:32:42,400
and it's not just Donibristle
we're talking about.
716
00:32:42,425 --> 00:32:45,026
Do you like strudel, sir?
717
00:32:45,125 --> 00:32:46,901
Everybody likes strudel, son.
718
00:32:46,971 --> 00:32:48,643
That's exactly right, sir.
719
00:32:48,668 --> 00:32:51,018
And when was the last
time you had strudel, sir?
720
00:32:51,175 --> 00:32:52,987
- Not recently.
- MILO: Me neither, I miss it.
721
00:32:53,012 --> 00:32:54,026
I miss it, too.
722
00:32:54,051 --> 00:32:55,322
- MILO: As do I.
- Me too.
723
00:32:55,375 --> 00:32:56,511
Well, it needn't be this way.
724
00:32:56,535 --> 00:32:58,487
We shouldn't have to miss strudel, sir.
725
00:32:58,512 --> 00:33:01,033
If I was Mess Officer, I could fix it.
726
00:33:01,979 --> 00:33:03,202
What's your name, son?
727
00:33:03,303 --> 00:33:06,190
I'm Milo Minderbinder,
sir. I'm 27 years old.
728
00:33:06,556 --> 00:33:09,561
[BENNY GOODMAN'S
"SING, SING, SING"]
729
00:33:09,585 --> 00:33:14,250
♪ ♪
730
00:33:27,920 --> 00:33:32,636
[ENGINES RUMBLING]
731
00:33:32,723 --> 00:33:36,649
♪ ♪
732
00:33:54,239 --> 00:33:55,874
MAN OVER RADIO: Clear
sailing today, fellas.
733
00:33:55,898 --> 00:33:57,618
MAN 2 OVER RADIO: Like
a day in the country.
734
00:33:58,060 --> 00:33:59,360
Clear skies up ahead.
735
00:33:59,385 --> 00:34:01,096
Beautiful day for a milk run, boys.
736
00:34:01,217 --> 00:34:03,304
MAN OVER RADIO: Blue skies. Cloud nine.
737
00:34:03,337 --> 00:34:05,006
Holding steady at two-four-eight.
738
00:34:05,108 --> 00:34:07,703
Two-four-eight, 70,200.
739
00:34:08,109 --> 00:34:09,938
Got to be on top of it. Where we at?
740
00:34:10,191 --> 00:34:13,047
MAN 2: Closing in on
target. 30 seconds to run.
741
00:34:13,126 --> 00:34:14,484
MAN 3: Copy that. 30 seconds.
742
00:34:14,518 --> 00:34:15,828
MAN 4: Yo-Yo, you ready?
743
00:34:16,115 --> 00:34:18,995
MAN 5: Yo-Yo, drop them, and
let's get the fuck out of here.
744
00:34:19,339 --> 00:34:20,539
YOSSARIAN: Holding steady.
745
00:34:20,656 --> 00:34:22,074
- MAN: Oh, shit!
- [GUNFIRE]
746
00:34:22,099 --> 00:34:23,891
Oh, hold on! We got it! Hold on!
747
00:34:23,916 --> 00:34:25,919
[MAN SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY OVER RADIO]
748
00:34:26,252 --> 00:34:27,985
MAN: Look out! Will
you hurry the fuck up?
749
00:34:28,050 --> 00:34:29,336
Jesus Christ.
750
00:34:29,361 --> 00:34:31,008
Not a milk run anymore, fellas.
751
00:34:31,033 --> 00:34:32,618
Here we go again. Hold steady.
752
00:34:32,955 --> 00:34:34,219
MAN: Harvey, where we at?
753
00:34:34,383 --> 00:34:36,836
HARVEY: Hey, McWatt, bring her to 066.
754
00:34:36,861 --> 00:34:37,891
MCWATT: Roger that.
755
00:34:37,916 --> 00:34:39,710
HARVEY: Steady! Steady!
756
00:34:39,735 --> 00:34:41,362
All right, boys, we're approaching.
757
00:34:41,387 --> 00:34:42,907
Yossarian, what's your heading?
758
00:34:44,254 --> 00:34:46,368
Hey, Yossarian, you got to get above me.
759
00:34:46,393 --> 00:34:49,357
[GUNFIRE, BULLETS RICOCHETING]
760
00:34:53,583 --> 00:34:55,016
Hey, Yossarian, you hear me?
761
00:34:55,431 --> 00:34:57,711
Yo-Yo, what the fuck
is going on down there?
762
00:34:58,904 --> 00:34:59,977
Yossarian.
763
00:35:01,160 --> 00:35:02,993
- Oh!
- HARVEY: Holy shit!
764
00:35:03,018 --> 00:35:04,250
What the fuck was that?
765
00:35:04,275 --> 00:35:06,528
[SCREAMING]
766
00:35:06,760 --> 00:35:09,056
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC]
767
00:35:09,081 --> 00:35:11,627
- Oh!
- MAN: Holy fuck!
768
00:35:11,871 --> 00:35:12,994
HARVEY: What happened to Dunbar?
769
00:35:13,018 --> 00:35:14,227
MAN: Was he wearing his chute?
770
00:35:14,252 --> 00:35:17,321
[GROANING LOUDLY]
771
00:35:17,922 --> 00:35:19,090
HARVEY: We're getting close!
772
00:35:19,255 --> 00:35:21,634
MAN: Hold steady. Seven-six.
773
00:35:21,860 --> 00:35:23,570
- Uh...
- MAN: Here I go!
774
00:35:23,595 --> 00:35:24,868
Okay. [GROANS]
775
00:35:25,334 --> 00:35:26,438
HARVEY: You there, Yo-Yo?
776
00:35:26,463 --> 00:35:27,715
MAN 2: Steady! Hold steady!
777
00:35:27,740 --> 00:35:29,235
HARVEY: Drop them, Yo-Yo.
778
00:35:29,295 --> 00:35:31,368
Go, goddamn it! Nately, we're holding!
779
00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:32,463
Shut up!
780
00:35:32,488 --> 00:35:34,274
Yossarian, we're
approaching. You got that?
781
00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:35,657
I got it, I got it!
782
00:35:35,682 --> 00:35:36,828
MAN: Ten seconds.
783
00:35:37,509 --> 00:35:38,711
YOSSARIAN: Steady.
784
00:35:39,325 --> 00:35:40,594
MAN: Oh, shit!
785
00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:41,898
And...
786
00:35:42,009 --> 00:35:43,010
MAN: Drop them!
787
00:35:43,035 --> 00:35:44,274
Okay, bombs away!
788
00:35:44,711 --> 00:35:47,289
Okay, uh, McWatt, get us out of here!
789
00:35:47,314 --> 00:35:49,469
Get us the goddamn fuck out of here!
790
00:35:50,188 --> 00:35:52,110
Oh, shit!
791
00:35:52,661 --> 00:35:54,438
Oh, fuck!
792
00:35:54,818 --> 00:35:57,823
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
793
00:35:58,144 --> 00:36:02,383
♪ ♪
794
00:36:13,481 --> 00:36:14,481
His face...
795
00:36:15,625 --> 00:36:16,742
it was right there.
796
00:36:18,958 --> 00:36:21,032
And it was one of those moments when...
797
00:36:21,858 --> 00:36:22,858
you know...
798
00:36:24,537 --> 00:36:26,876
It couldn't have been more than
half a second... less than that.
799
00:36:26,900 --> 00:36:27,953
But he was...
800
00:36:30,261 --> 00:36:31,407
I can see everything.
801
00:36:33,521 --> 00:36:36,672
Every hair in his nostril,
that crooked tooth.
802
00:36:38,464 --> 00:36:39,464
And his eyes...
803
00:36:40,181 --> 00:36:42,618
there was no life flashing
before them or any of that.
804
00:36:43,395 --> 00:36:44,586
It's just terror.
805
00:36:46,881 --> 00:36:47,881
That's all it was.
806
00:36:50,968 --> 00:36:52,012
Shit.
807
00:36:54,258 --> 00:36:55,813
Yo-Yo, that ain't right.
808
00:37:19,555 --> 00:37:20,915
- Gentlemen.
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
809
00:37:21,852 --> 00:37:23,172
- Gentlemen!
- [CHATTER CONTINUES]
810
00:37:24,565 --> 00:37:25,992
Gentlemen!
811
00:37:28,545 --> 00:37:29,906
Gentlemen!
812
00:37:34,797 --> 00:37:37,000
What's gotten into
you fellas today, huh?
813
00:37:37,025 --> 00:37:38,569
[CHATTER CONTINUES]
814
00:37:38,781 --> 00:37:41,870
[CHUCKLES] Come on, guys!
815
00:37:42,209 --> 00:37:43,209
Because...
816
00:37:43,234 --> 00:37:44,402
[GUNSHOT]
817
00:37:44,427 --> 00:37:45,722
[CHATTER STOPS]
818
00:37:54,515 --> 00:37:56,383
What is this, ladies' night out?
819
00:37:56,555 --> 00:37:57,836
Hmm?
820
00:37:58,049 --> 00:37:59,852
Is this ladies' night
out, by any chance,
821
00:37:59,877 --> 00:38:02,437
- Lieutenant Colonel Korn?
- No, sir, it is not.
822
00:38:04,264 --> 00:38:05,617
Are you ladies settled?
823
00:38:09,110 --> 00:38:10,110
All right, then.
824
00:38:12,622 --> 00:38:14,792
I'm Colonel Cathcart, and as of now,
825
00:38:14,793 --> 00:38:18,633
I'm in charge of you sorry-ass
bunch of homosexuals.
826
00:38:21,031 --> 00:38:25,215
Now, I understand that you were
very fond of Colonel Copeland.
827
00:38:25,648 --> 00:38:27,902
Well, guess what. Boo-hoo.
I know Jerry Copeland.
828
00:38:27,903 --> 00:38:29,404
He's an outstanding commander,
829
00:38:29,405 --> 00:38:30,991
and he is an upstanding American.
830
00:38:30,992 --> 00:38:32,180
And guess what.
831
00:38:32,620 --> 00:38:34,703
Nothing changes, gentlemen.
832
00:38:34,833 --> 00:38:36,734
Oh, the faces may change.
833
00:38:36,970 --> 00:38:39,453
But our purpose and our
resolve remain the same.
834
00:38:39,852 --> 00:38:43,057
We keep doing things the
same way we've been doing them
835
00:38:43,058 --> 00:38:45,852
because we are the United
States Army Air Force.
836
00:38:47,710 --> 00:38:49,180
And what is our purpose?
837
00:38:53,874 --> 00:38:54,874
Anybody.
838
00:38:57,398 --> 00:38:59,101
- Unbelievable.
- Soldier.
839
00:38:59,570 --> 00:39:02,265
- To defeat the enemy, sir.
- CATHCART: To defeat the enemy.
840
00:39:02,930 --> 00:39:06,771
Now, some of us... some of us
are making the ultimate sacrifice
841
00:39:06,772 --> 00:39:08,664
on land, on sea, and in the air,
842
00:39:08,828 --> 00:39:10,528
while others of us apparently think
843
00:39:10,529 --> 00:39:13,451
we are at the Ladies'
Auxiliary fucking Fund-raiser!
844
00:39:13,452 --> 00:39:15,180
You are American officers!
845
00:39:15,205 --> 00:39:17,500
And the officers of no
other army in the world
846
00:39:17,501 --> 00:39:18,906
can make that statement!
847
00:39:19,117 --> 00:39:20,494
You think about that.
848
00:39:22,595 --> 00:39:25,539
Now, let's get down to brass tacks.
849
00:39:26,086 --> 00:39:28,289
I am gonna toughen you ladies up.
850
00:39:29,078 --> 00:39:30,828
And here's where I'm gonna start.
851
00:39:32,759 --> 00:39:35,836
I have decided to raise the
mission count from 25 to 30.
852
00:39:35,861 --> 00:39:38,742
That's exciting, isn't it?
You're goddamn right it is!
853
00:39:38,834 --> 00:39:40,664
30 missions effective immediately.
854
00:39:41,508 --> 00:39:43,052
We're winning this thing, gentlemen.
855
00:39:43,053 --> 00:39:44,484
We're beating the bastards.
856
00:39:45,211 --> 00:39:46,797
So three cheers for us.
857
00:39:51,828 --> 00:39:53,515
- Hip, hip!
- A FEW VOICES: Hooray.
858
00:39:53,540 --> 00:39:55,789
- Hip, hip!
- ALL: Hooray!
859
00:39:55,814 --> 00:39:58,027
[ALL SHOUTING]
860
00:39:58,052 --> 00:40:00,726
You're goddamn right hooray!
861
00:40:01,247 --> 00:40:04,252
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
862
00:40:04,277 --> 00:40:08,336
♪ ♪
863
00:40:13,980 --> 00:40:15,492
Doc, look, you got to help me.
864
00:40:15,517 --> 00:40:16,894
Let's forget about the liver.
865
00:40:17,008 --> 00:40:18,927
You can ground me if I'm crazy, right?
866
00:40:18,952 --> 00:40:20,907
Oh, sure, I have to. I have
to ground anyone who's crazy.
867
00:40:20,931 --> 00:40:22,312
Then ground me. I'm crazy.
868
00:40:22,337 --> 00:40:24,672
- You're not crazy.
- But I am! Ask anyone.
869
00:40:24,697 --> 00:40:25,775
They'll tell you how crazy I am.
870
00:40:25,799 --> 00:40:26,805
Yeah, but they're crazy.
871
00:40:26,953 --> 00:40:28,126
Then why don't you ground them?
872
00:40:28,150 --> 00:40:29,630
Why don't they ask me to ground them?
873
00:40:29,668 --> 00:40:31,856
- 'Cause they're crazy. That's why.
- Of course they're crazy.
874
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:33,488
I just told you they're crazy, didn't I?
875
00:40:33,513 --> 00:40:35,082
And you can't have crazy people decide
876
00:40:35,107 --> 00:40:36,246
whether you're crazy or not.
877
00:40:37,325 --> 00:40:39,449
- YOSSARIAN: Is Orr crazy?
- DANEEKA: Oh, he sure is.
878
00:40:39,893 --> 00:40:41,684
- YOSSARIAN: Can you ground him?
- DANEEKA: I sure can.
879
00:40:41,708 --> 00:40:43,144
But first he has to ask me to.
880
00:40:43,537 --> 00:40:46,160
- Then why doesn't he ask you?
- Because he's crazy.
881
00:40:46,289 --> 00:40:48,653
You'd have to be crazy to want
to keep flying combat missions.
882
00:40:48,677 --> 00:40:50,941
Sure, I can ground Orr. But
first he has to ask me to.
883
00:40:51,267 --> 00:40:53,103
And that's all he has
to do to be grounded?
884
00:40:53,128 --> 00:40:54,608
DANEEKA: That's it. Just let him ask.
885
00:40:54,661 --> 00:40:55,724
YOSSARIAN: And then you can ground him?
886
00:40:55,748 --> 00:40:57,215
No, then I can't ground him.
887
00:40:57,635 --> 00:40:59,355
- Why not?
- Catch-22.
888
00:40:59,498 --> 00:41:02,488
Anyone who wants to get out of
combat duty isn't really crazy.
889
00:41:02,753 --> 00:41:06,324
Catch-22 specifies that a
concern for one's own safety
890
00:41:06,349 --> 00:41:08,138
in the face of danger...
real and immediate...
891
00:41:08,162 --> 00:41:10,043
is the process of a rational mind.
892
00:41:10,427 --> 00:41:11,427
What?
893
00:41:11,452 --> 00:41:14,037
Orr's crazy, and
therefore he can get out
894
00:41:14,062 --> 00:41:16,273
of flying combat missions...
all he has to do is ask.
895
00:41:16,353 --> 00:41:19,154
But as soon as he asks,
he's no longer crazy,
896
00:41:19,179 --> 00:41:20,709
and so he has to fly more missions.
897
00:41:20,833 --> 00:41:21,833
What?
898
00:41:21,858 --> 00:41:24,318
Orr would be crazy to
want to fly more missions
899
00:41:24,343 --> 00:41:26,209
and sane if he didn't, but if he's sane,
900
00:41:26,496 --> 00:41:27,717
then he has to fly them.
901
00:41:28,060 --> 00:41:29,693
If he flies them, then he's crazy,
902
00:41:29,718 --> 00:41:30,764
and so he doesn't have to.
903
00:41:30,875 --> 00:41:33,248
But if he doesn't want
to, then he's sane,
904
00:41:33,316 --> 00:41:34,897
and so he has to.
905
00:41:41,570 --> 00:41:43,280
That's some catch, that Catch-22.
906
00:41:43,890 --> 00:41:45,226
DANEEKA: It's the best there is.
907
00:41:50,103 --> 00:41:51,103
[DOOR CLOSES]
908
00:41:55,860 --> 00:41:58,865
[EXPLOSIONS]
909
00:41:59,099 --> 00:42:00,726
MAN: It's getting hot up here, fellas.
910
00:42:00,916 --> 00:42:01,944
MAN 2: Oh, shit!
911
00:42:01,969 --> 00:42:04,343
MAN 3: All right, boys, just
hold it steady right here.
912
00:42:04,368 --> 00:42:06,522
- Hold steady!
- Holy fuck.
913
00:42:06,547 --> 00:42:09,358
Closing in on target.
30 seconds to run.
914
00:42:09,660 --> 00:42:11,382
MAN: Okay, that's 30 seconds to run.
915
00:42:11,407 --> 00:42:12,819
30 seconds, fellas!
916
00:42:13,494 --> 00:42:16,804
- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]
- [BULLETS THUDDING]
917
00:42:17,634 --> 00:42:18,702
Hold steady.
918
00:42:19,398 --> 00:42:21,061
MAN 2: Okay, copy that!
919
00:42:22,186 --> 00:42:25,191
[GUNFIRE, BULLETS RICOCHETING]
920
00:42:26,629 --> 00:42:29,635
[AIRPLANE ENGINE RUMBLING]
921
00:42:31,842 --> 00:42:34,848
[AIR WHOOSHING]
922
00:42:38,134 --> 00:42:39,720
[GLASS SQUEAKING]
923
00:42:39,783 --> 00:42:41,703
♪ If I only had wings ♪
924
00:42:41,728 --> 00:42:45,191
♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪
925
00:42:45,637 --> 00:42:48,343
♪ With a tra la, la, la,
a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪
926
00:42:48,368 --> 00:42:50,210
♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪
927
00:42:50,235 --> 00:42:53,199
♪ Take a trip to the moon on high ♪
928
00:42:53,365 --> 00:42:55,811
♪ Ask him why he winks his eye ♪
929
00:42:55,945 --> 00:42:58,835
♪ With a tra la, la, la,
a twee, twee, twee, twee ♪
930
00:42:58,860 --> 00:43:01,265
♪ It's a pair of wings for me ♪
931
00:43:01,530 --> 00:43:04,159
♪ Dreaming, dreaming ♪
932
00:43:04,206 --> 00:43:06,459
♪ Watching the clouds roll by ♪
933
00:43:06,758 --> 00:43:10,897
♪ I'd be scheming, happy
in the bright blue sky ♪
934
00:43:10,922 --> 00:43:12,717
♪ If I only had wings ♪
935
00:43:12,756 --> 00:43:16,100
♪ I'd fly like a birdie in the sky ♪
936
00:43:18,209 --> 00:43:23,209
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
68806
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