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1
00:00:02,103 --> 00:00:03,737
Tomorrow's Big Trash Day,
2
00:00:03,771 --> 00:00:05,973
the garbage men's
favorite day of the year.
3
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:09,243
But this is Big Trash Eve --
my time,
4
00:00:09,277 --> 00:00:11,212
when the streets
are lined with gold!
5
00:00:11,245 --> 00:00:13,047
Isn't all
this stuff broken?
6
00:00:13,081 --> 00:00:15,916
What's broken about a mirrored
headboard with a crack in it?
7
00:00:15,949 --> 00:00:17,418
A toilet with no seat?
8
00:00:17,451 --> 00:00:18,719
Most of a hose?
9
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,322
Ooh!
What's that?
10
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,924
This might be
the last big TV.
11
00:00:23,957 --> 00:00:25,226
It's so deep.
12
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:27,995
I have to get this home
it's so deep.
13
00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,863
[ Grunting ]
14
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:31,399
So heavy.
15
00:00:31,432 --> 00:00:33,601
So splintery.
16
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,437
All the weight
is distributed so oddly.
17
00:00:36,470 --> 00:00:37,705
This, I like.
18
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:40,174
This speaks to me.
19
00:00:40,208 --> 00:00:42,343
Mm. Nice, loud springs.
20
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:44,678
Baby lambs on
a soiled comforter.
21
00:00:44,712 --> 00:00:46,714
And hello!
22
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,284
Dare I?
23
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:52,086
[ Squish ]
Perfect fit!
24
00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:53,787
Stan, you can finally
take me back
25
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:55,956
to The Green Burrito
without having to worry.
26
00:00:55,989 --> 00:00:57,691
Ugh. Green Burrito.
27
00:00:57,725 --> 00:00:59,293
No, thank you.
28
00:00:59,327 --> 00:01:01,862
♪♪
29
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:04,465
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
30
00:01:04,498 --> 00:01:08,302
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
31
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:11,439
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
32
00:01:11,472 --> 00:01:15,809
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
33
00:01:17,678 --> 00:01:21,115
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say
34
00:01:21,149 --> 00:01:23,551
♪ Good --
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
35
00:01:23,584 --> 00:01:24,618
Aah!
36
00:01:25,986 --> 00:01:30,291
♪ Good morning, U.S.A.
37
00:01:30,324 --> 00:01:32,426
Daddy's home
with street treasures.
38
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,395
No.
No more trash.
39
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,497
This stuff isn't trash --
unless you think
40
00:01:36,530 --> 00:01:39,967
a brand-new-to-us
dehumidifier is trash.
41
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,735
It is trash.
42
00:01:41,769 --> 00:01:43,637
That's outrageous.
43
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:45,973
Well, what about
an electric fondue pot?
44
00:01:46,006 --> 00:01:49,243
Splice a few wires, bingo-bango,
hot cheese on tap.
45
00:01:49,277 --> 00:01:50,678
I don't like fondue.
46
00:01:50,711 --> 00:01:53,013
That's outrageous.
47
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:55,015
But what about this stunner?
48
00:01:55,048 --> 00:01:56,950
Some dirty-ass
mattress?
49
00:01:56,984 --> 00:01:58,519
Stop being outrageous.
Look.
50
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:01,489
There's a beautiful
Spanish word painted on it.
51
00:02:01,522 --> 00:02:03,691
It's like
a Diego Rivera painting.
52
00:02:03,724 --> 00:02:05,993
We don't want
any of this stuff.
53
00:02:06,026 --> 00:02:09,197
Seems like you're all
missing the big picture.
54
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:13,201
A beautiful
34-inch picture.
55
00:02:13,234 --> 00:02:15,135
They don't make 'em
like this anymore, gang.
56
00:02:15,169 --> 00:02:17,871
It's the new biggest piece
of furniture in the house.
57
00:02:17,905 --> 00:02:19,873
The couch has been
put on notice.
58
00:02:19,907 --> 00:02:21,442
-Ohh.
-Aww.
59
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,011
He's so cute.
60
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:26,314
[ Sighs ]
He's a baby now?
61
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:28,216
[ Cooing ]
62
00:02:28,249 --> 00:02:30,984
Son of a bitch!
He is cute!
63
00:02:32,820 --> 00:02:34,288
[ All gasp ]
64
00:02:34,322 --> 00:02:37,124
I will never let anything bad
happen to you.
65
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,892
Okay, fun is fun,
but I must insist
66
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:40,961
that we now focus
on the TV.
67
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,731
That thing can't stay in here.
It could fall on the baby.
68
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:46,534
Maybe it should fall
on the baby.
69
00:02:51,439 --> 00:02:55,276
I'll never understand
the weight distribution.
70
00:03:00,248 --> 00:03:02,583
[ Scoffs ]
Fake baby.
71
00:03:02,616 --> 00:03:05,386
This TV is what's real --
real fun.
72
00:03:05,419 --> 00:03:07,588
What's this smushed
into the cable input?
73
00:03:07,621 --> 00:03:09,490
Hmm. Dog shit.
74
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,591
I'll use the antenna.
75
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:13,861
What a blast.
76
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:17,598
It's a party down here.
77
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,367
Hmm. No signal.
78
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,902
Let's try the old splits.
79
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:23,103
Nothing.
80
00:03:23,136 --> 00:03:24,772
Do a little scissor kick.
81
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:26,106
Side saddle?
82
00:03:26,139 --> 00:03:28,542
Nope. Now the one
people don't like to see,
83
00:03:28,576 --> 00:03:30,110
but sometimes it works.
84
00:03:30,143 --> 00:03:33,180
Both of them together
straight up!
85
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:34,348
Hmm.
86
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:36,417
[ Yawns ]
87
00:03:37,651 --> 00:03:40,220
Shh.
Don't wake up the ba--
88
00:03:40,254 --> 00:03:43,056
[ Door slams, Roger crying ]
89
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:45,559
Everyone's doing stupid stuff
except me.
90
00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:54,268
[ Jazzy piano music playing ]
91
00:03:54,302 --> 00:03:59,607
♪♪
92
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:04,945
♪♪
93
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:08,449
[ Elevator bell dinging ]
94
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,485
[ Elevator bell dings ]
95
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:12,953
Welcome, nighthawks.
96
00:04:12,986 --> 00:04:16,590
We've been expecting you.
97
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:19,460
The hour's late, but the party
is just getting started.
98
00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,094
I'm Alistair Covax,
99
00:04:21,128 --> 00:04:25,333
your host for a sophisticated
little soiree with jazz,
100
00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:28,602
stimulating conversation,
beautiful ladies,
101
00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:31,004
and more jazz.
102
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:32,340
Hmm.
103
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,941
Look. It's Charlie,
104
00:04:33,974 --> 00:04:36,777
sincerely one of the best
white, non-union jazz pianists
105
00:04:36,810 --> 00:04:39,146
in the entire city --
top five.
106
00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:42,249
Charlie, play some of
those notes you know I like.
107
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,117
[ Jazzy piano music playing ]
108
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,119
What is this show?
109
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,488
[ Keypad clicking ]
110
00:04:47,521 --> 00:04:49,790
No results for Alistair Covax.
111
00:04:49,823 --> 00:04:51,692
"Nighthawks' Hideaway."
112
00:04:51,725 --> 00:04:54,662
Nothing. Why is there
no record of this show?
113
00:04:54,695 --> 00:04:56,096
I need answers.
114
00:04:56,129 --> 00:04:57,631
TV answers.
115
00:04:59,166 --> 00:05:01,635
[ Elevator bell dings,
telephone ringing ]
116
00:05:01,669 --> 00:05:04,805
The star's of "Hawaii Five-O"
are in a prank war!
117
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:07,708
You think "Wheel of Fortune"
is on at 8:00?
118
00:05:07,741 --> 00:05:09,477
You're fired!
119
00:05:09,510 --> 00:05:11,712
-What, what, what?!
-I recently came into possession
120
00:05:11,745 --> 00:05:14,448
of a deep TV --
no need to congratulate me --
121
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:18,118
and I saw a 1960s show
called "Nighthawks' Hideaway."
122
00:05:18,151 --> 00:05:19,853
There's no such show.
123
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,689
There's never been such a show.
124
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,525
But every few months,
some lonely nutjob
125
00:05:24,558 --> 00:05:26,360
comes in asking about it.
126
00:05:26,394 --> 00:05:28,896
Oh, trust me.
I am not a nutjob.
127
00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,831
Good. Good.
128
00:05:30,864 --> 00:05:33,367
Word is these nutjobs
get together
129
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:35,869
at the Ukrainian
Cultural Center
130
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:38,872
to talk about this show
that doesn't exist.
131
00:05:38,906 --> 00:05:40,408
Cultural Center, huh?
132
00:05:40,441 --> 00:05:42,175
I mean, I saw the show
with my own eyes,
133
00:05:42,209 --> 00:05:44,578
but nutjobs like that
make me sick.
134
00:05:44,612 --> 00:05:46,980
Me too, pal.
You get it.
135
00:05:47,014 --> 00:05:49,082
Someone should round
these nutjobs up,
136
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,885
put them in a locked cage,
and just drop it in the sea.
137
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:54,588
Well, I don't know
about that.
138
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:57,591
♪♪
139
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:59,693
Hopefully these people
can give me some answers.
140
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:03,263
Hi, Stan!
141
00:06:03,296 --> 00:06:05,165
Sit. Sit, sit, sit,
sit, sit.
142
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,068
Uh...
143
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,771
So, you've seen
the show.
144
00:06:10,804 --> 00:06:13,006
Yeah. Strange
there's no record of it.
145
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:14,608
It gets stranger than that.
146
00:06:14,642 --> 00:06:16,276
There's only one episode,
147
00:06:16,309 --> 00:06:19,246
and it reruns over and over
and over on Channel 36.
148
00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:21,515
And get this.
Come closer. Come closer.
149
00:06:21,549 --> 00:06:23,751
No, thank you.
150
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:27,120
There's only one episode,
but it changes --
151
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:30,357
little things,
little differences in the show.
152
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:31,959
I keep track of them.
153
00:06:31,992 --> 00:06:33,193
Where's everybody else?
154
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,695
There used to be
more people,
155
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:37,130
but one by one,
they stopped coming.
156
00:06:37,164 --> 00:06:39,299
It's so good
to have you here, Stan.
157
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,201
It's not just me anymore.
158
00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:43,471
It's you and me
cracking the case
159
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,305
of the
"Nighthawks' Hideaway."
160
00:06:45,338 --> 00:06:48,308
We're the same now --
two men obsessed.
161
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:51,311
Ooh! It's like
I'm looking in a mirror!
162
00:06:51,344 --> 00:06:52,646
No, thank you.
163
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:58,085
Sometimes when the jazz
is playing, I like to do this.
164
00:06:59,453 --> 00:07:02,055
I move my chin
just a little.
165
00:07:02,089 --> 00:07:04,091
[ Jazzy piano music playing ]
166
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:06,426
This strange show.
167
00:07:06,460 --> 00:07:09,262
You stop bothering Stan!
168
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,465
Is -- Is that --
169
00:07:11,499 --> 00:07:13,767
It couldn't be.
170
00:07:13,801 --> 00:07:14,935
Tuttle?
171
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,004
No.
That's impossible.
172
00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,672
Wow! Great jazz!
173
00:07:18,706 --> 00:07:21,274
Shh. We're appreciating
the jazz.
174
00:07:21,308 --> 00:07:24,144
Oh, this jazz
is so good!
175
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,685
Covax:
Let me ask you something, Stu.
176
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:36,023
Two years in, are we any
better off with Hawaii a state?
177
00:07:36,056 --> 00:07:39,593
If the Ruskies got control
of that lava --
178
00:07:39,627 --> 00:07:41,261
game over.
179
00:07:41,294 --> 00:07:43,997
How can Tuttle be
on this old show?
180
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,499
[ Doorbell rings ]
181
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,368
Huh.
No sign of Tuttle.
182
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:50,938
But maybe --
183
00:07:50,971 --> 00:07:52,840
Every time.
184
00:07:58,879 --> 00:08:01,314
Ugh.
What is that smell?
185
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:06,219
[ Sniffs ]
186
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,989
They're both contributing.
187
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,724
There's a beauty.
188
00:08:13,226 --> 00:08:15,529
"I must go in!"
189
00:08:19,533 --> 00:08:21,802
A shadow puppet theater
of sorts.
190
00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:24,237
I wish I had time
for such childish games.
191
00:08:24,271 --> 00:08:26,006
Duck! Duck, duck!
192
00:08:28,776 --> 00:08:31,044
May I hold
baby Roger?
193
00:08:31,078 --> 00:08:32,546
Make sure
to support his head.
194
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:34,347
Yeah, no shit.
195
00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,750
[ Cooing ]
196
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,919
You guys are not gonna believe
where Tuttle is.
197
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:41,689
Come downstairs.
198
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,390
I don't know why
it's not coming in now.
199
00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,926
I saw him.
Tuttle was inside the TV!
200
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:50,330
Stan, you're down here
by yourself watching static.
201
00:08:50,363 --> 00:08:52,733
I can watch static
upstairs.
202
00:08:52,766 --> 00:08:54,434
Why don't you
come upstairs, Dad?
203
00:08:54,467 --> 00:08:56,570
Yeah, aren't you lonely
down here?
204
00:08:56,604 --> 00:08:58,906
Lonely?!
I have a TV!
205
00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,576
So itchy.
206
00:09:02,610 --> 00:09:05,212
Probably those fleece pajamas
I've been wearing.
207
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:08,415
Tonight, I sleep
on this mattress naked.
208
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,117
Let me put it
to you straight.
209
00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:14,688
Do you think the country
is becoming...feminized?
210
00:09:14,722 --> 00:09:17,457
I think that is you, Tuttle.
211
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:19,727
But how?
What did you figure out?
212
00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:22,562
Undoubtedly.
The TV dial is overrun
213
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,297
with the female agenda.
214
00:09:24,331 --> 00:09:26,767
And my new book,
"I Loathe Lucy,"
215
00:09:26,800 --> 00:09:29,236
is about putting
these hysterical sapphos
216
00:09:29,269 --> 00:09:30,604
back in their box.
217
00:09:30,638 --> 00:09:32,539
A tremendous read.
218
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,241
Shall we jazz?
219
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:36,076
I thought
you'd never ask.
220
00:09:36,109 --> 00:09:39,312
♪♪
221
00:09:39,346 --> 00:09:40,781
Welcome, nighthawks.
222
00:09:40,814 --> 00:09:43,150
We've been expecting you.
223
00:09:43,183 --> 00:09:46,286
The hour's late, but the party
is just getting started.
224
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:49,289
Do you think the country
is becoming...feminized?
225
00:09:49,322 --> 00:09:50,791
Let me
put it to you straight.
226
00:09:50,824 --> 00:09:52,793
Do you think the country
is becoming --
227
00:09:52,826 --> 00:09:54,261
Do you think
the country is becoming --
228
00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:57,731
Do you think the country is
becoming...feminized?
229
00:09:57,765 --> 00:09:59,266
Do you think the country
is becoming --
230
00:09:59,299 --> 00:10:01,101
Do you think
the country is becoming --
231
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,503
Do you think the country
is becoming...feminized?
232
00:10:03,536 --> 00:10:06,506
Undoubtedly.
The TV dial is overrun...
Look. It's Charlie.
233
00:10:06,539 --> 00:10:08,408
-...with the female agenda.
-Welcome, nighthawks.
234
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:10,678
And my new book,
"I Loathe Lucy,"
235
00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:12,245
is about putting
these hysterical sapphos...
236
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,081
-A tremendous read.
-...back in their box.
237
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:15,949
Shall we jazz?
238
00:10:15,983 --> 00:10:20,487
♪♪
239
00:10:20,520 --> 00:10:22,522
[ Roger crying, door opens ]
240
00:10:22,555 --> 00:10:23,691
[ Door opens ]
241
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,258
Steve:
What are you doing, Mom?!
242
00:10:25,292 --> 00:10:27,127
We said we'd check on him
every 10 minutes!
243
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:28,361
It's only been 3!
244
00:10:28,395 --> 00:10:29,830
Francine:
Sleep training is cruel.
245
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:31,331
I want to pick him up!
[ Door opens ]
246
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,133
Hayley: You're both wrong.
We need to give --
247
00:10:33,166 --> 00:10:35,836
-We're not giving him weed!
-It's a micro-dose
248
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:37,671
to help him sleep.
[ Door opens ]
249
00:10:37,705 --> 00:10:40,473
Klaus: We need to get in there!
He's afraid of the dark!
250
00:10:40,507 --> 00:10:42,843
Covax:
Oh. Leaving so soon?
251
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:44,544
Well, our party keeps going.
252
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:48,148
So, if it gets lonely out there
in the wee, small hours,
253
00:10:48,181 --> 00:10:50,050
remember, nighthawks,
254
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:52,786
you always have a friend
here at the Hideaway.
255
00:10:52,820 --> 00:10:54,287
♪♪
256
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:55,789
[ Static ]
257
00:10:55,823 --> 00:10:57,257
There must be
something I missed.
258
00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:06,066
♪♪
259
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:07,701
[ Grunts ]
260
00:11:07,735 --> 00:11:10,470
♪♪
261
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,072
[ Gasps ]
262
00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,540
Hmm.
263
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:15,308
Cannonball!
264
00:11:15,342 --> 00:11:16,676
[ Elevator bell dings ]
265
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:19,079
[ Jazzy piano music playing ]
266
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,548
Welcome, nighthawk.
267
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,717
We've been expecting you.
268
00:11:23,751 --> 00:11:25,585
I'm in the TV!
269
00:11:25,618 --> 00:11:27,687
I'm so relieved
I'm not crazy!
270
00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,223
It was just a magic TV,
that's all.
271
00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:33,526
Yes, please.
272
00:11:33,560 --> 00:11:36,229
Charlie, play some of those
notes you know I like.
273
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,698
What the hell
is that floating light?
274
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:40,734
Tuttle!
275
00:11:40,768 --> 00:11:42,669
Stan?
276
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:44,371
I remember you.
277
00:11:44,404 --> 00:11:46,106
Of course. You remember me.
I'm -- I'm like
278
00:11:46,139 --> 00:11:49,509
-your all-time favorite person.
-Oh, it's the rerunning.
279
00:11:49,542 --> 00:11:50,944
We just keep rerunning.
280
00:11:50,978 --> 00:11:52,445
I remember less
each time.
281
00:11:52,479 --> 00:11:54,614
I'm forgetting
my life, Sam!
282
00:11:54,647 --> 00:11:56,549
Tuttle, relax.
You don't like it here,
283
00:11:56,583 --> 00:11:58,351
-let's just go.
-We can't.
284
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,220
We're trapped here
forever.
285
00:12:00,253 --> 00:12:03,056
Ooh. Does forever
include this weekend?
286
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:04,958
'Cause the BET Awards
are on.
287
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:06,726
Young Man:
BET Awards?
288
00:12:06,760 --> 00:12:08,295
I remember those.
289
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,197
Those are
from the future.
290
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,698
I need to get back
to the future.
291
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,934
[ Gasps ]
"Back to the Future"!
292
00:12:13,967 --> 00:12:15,568
I love that movie!
293
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:17,104
And Michael J. Fox!
294
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:18,471
He was so great!
295
00:12:18,505 --> 00:12:21,775
Then [Gasps] that thing
happened to him.
296
00:12:21,809 --> 00:12:23,911
Oh, then the Towers.
297
00:12:23,944 --> 00:12:26,479
Then that pretty good
Denis Leary firemen show.
298
00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:29,282
I need to get back
to my time!
299
00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,785
It's not lighting up.
It's not lighting up!
300
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:33,887
Oh, boy.
301
00:12:33,921 --> 00:12:35,823
He'll pay for that
at commercial time.
302
00:12:35,856 --> 00:12:37,557
What happens
at commercial?
303
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:41,061
Technical Director:
And we're clear to commercial.
304
00:12:41,094 --> 00:12:44,164
[ Covax snarling, roaring ]
Young Man:
No! Please don't! Don't eat me!
305
00:12:44,197 --> 00:12:45,498
Stan: Yuh-oh.
No!
306
00:12:45,532 --> 00:12:48,268
No-o-o-o!!
Oh, boy.
307
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:49,970
Sounds bad.
[ People whimpering, murmuring ]
308
00:12:50,003 --> 00:12:52,572
Technical Director:
We're on in 3, 2 --
309
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:55,008
[ Jazzy piano music playing ]
310
00:12:55,042 --> 00:12:57,077
Oh, God. He's gone.
311
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,346
It's a good thing
I'm clearly irreplaceable
312
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,481
and integral to the show.
313
00:13:05,352 --> 00:13:07,587
[ Slow piano music playing ]
314
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:11,358
♪♪
315
00:13:11,391 --> 00:13:15,495
Charlie, now how about
something a little harder?
316
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:19,432
Here's a rowdy little number
called "Volcano Blast Freakout."
317
00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:23,136
[ Slow piano music continues ]
318
00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,138
Hot, hot, hot.
319
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:27,841
Did you hear that guy say,
"Don't eat me"?
320
00:13:27,875 --> 00:13:29,877
That makes me think
Alistair ate him.
321
00:13:29,910 --> 00:13:32,980
He doesn't like it when
people mess up his show.
322
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,548
You having
a nice time, Stan?
323
00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,717
[ Chuckles nervously ]
You know my name. That's cool!
324
00:13:37,750 --> 00:13:39,219
Hey, what is this place?
325
00:13:39,252 --> 00:13:42,722
This is a party, baby,
and parties are fun.
326
00:13:42,755 --> 00:13:46,726
So when the camera's on,
you will make nice conversation,
327
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:48,728
you will keep
a drink in hand,
328
00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:51,731
and you will listen to
and love
329
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:55,068
every bit of jazz
you hear.
330
00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:57,037
But I like swamp rock.
331
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,006
-No.
-What if we want to leave?
332
00:13:59,039 --> 00:14:00,740
Leave? Why?
333
00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:02,242
You're with other
nighthawks,
334
00:14:02,275 --> 00:14:05,578
solo creatures who enjoy
mature pleasures.
335
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:07,080
Face it, Stan.
336
00:14:07,114 --> 00:14:09,416
-You're a sensualist.
-I know.
337
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:10,750
But I have a family.
338
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,519
Do you, now?
339
00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,853
Yeah, I do.
340
00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,689
It's just hard to remember
their names.
341
00:14:16,723 --> 00:14:19,759
I told you.
I told you.
342
00:14:19,792 --> 00:14:21,528
Francine, Hayley,
Steve, Klaus,
343
00:14:21,561 --> 00:14:23,096
Roger. Good, good.
344
00:14:23,130 --> 00:14:24,998
Come on, Tuttle.
We can't forget.
345
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:27,534
I can't remember
my family.
346
00:14:27,567 --> 00:14:29,336
-You don't have one.
-Oh.
347
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:32,172
Don't worry.
I still have my family.
348
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,207
We got to get out of here.
349
00:14:34,241 --> 00:14:36,443
But how?
You saw that guy.
350
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:39,379
We can't call
the elevator.
351
00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:41,748
Maybe we don't have to.
352
00:14:41,781 --> 00:14:43,750
[ Elevator bell dinging ]
353
00:14:43,783 --> 00:14:45,785
[ Jazzy piano music playing ]
354
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,956
[ Elevator bell dings ]
355
00:14:48,989 --> 00:14:50,290
Welcome --
Pardon. Pardon.
Excuse me.
356
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,359
-Excuse me. Excuse me.
-I'm with him.
357
00:14:52,392 --> 00:15:00,233
♪♪
358
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:08,141
♪♪
359
00:15:08,175 --> 00:15:10,243
I think we got away!
360
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:14,381
It's all fake!
361
00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,216
Let's try the soup.
362
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,651
That's how you can tell
if it's a real diner.
363
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,287
We're still on the show.
364
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:21,388
Stan, look!
365
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,490
The tree!
366
00:15:23,523 --> 00:15:26,393
Follow the color!
367
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:27,494
This is the way home!
368
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:31,231
Langley Falls,
here we come!
369
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:32,966
And maybe there was
something appealing
370
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,667
about that bachelor vibe.
371
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:37,637
Because, boy, the family
was driving me nuts.
372
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,506
You wouldn't know
what that's like, but trust me.
373
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:42,175
I pretend my fingers
are my family --
374
00:15:42,209 --> 00:15:44,177
Mama Thumb
always nagging,
375
00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:46,679
Uncle Index
with the corny jokes.
376
00:15:46,713 --> 00:15:48,115
What can I say?
377
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,916
They're a handful!
378
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:52,185
[ Swamp rock music playing ]
Stan: ♪ I got Francine
379
00:15:52,219 --> 00:15:53,620
♪ I got Steve
380
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,655
♪ Uh, I got Harley
381
00:15:55,688 --> 00:15:57,757
♪ I got Clark,
I want to say Bruce ♪
382
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:58,958
Take it, Tuttle!
383
00:15:58,992 --> 00:16:00,660
Tuttle:
♪ I got no one
384
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,295
Take it, Stan!
385
00:16:02,329 --> 00:16:05,198
♪♪
386
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:07,267
Welp, see you around the
neighborhood, Tuttle, old boy.
387
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,503
Yeah.
I should get going, too.
388
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:12,339
Oh, yeah.
You have nobody.
389
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,041
Turn off the car,
you idiot.
390
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,276
You're coming inside,
you big, fat idiot.
391
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,710
[ Gasps ]
You mean it?
392
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,646
Yeah.
You live with me now.
393
00:16:19,679 --> 00:16:21,614
I'll convert the shed
into a room for you.
394
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:24,684
-I won't insulate it.
-Stan, I have a house.
395
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:27,054
It's nothing. You'll sleep
on some old car batteries.
396
00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:28,488
I won't hear
another word.
397
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:30,657
Now come watch me
hug my family.
398
00:16:30,690 --> 00:16:33,360
Beloved ones, I'm home!
399
00:16:33,393 --> 00:16:35,195
[ Jazzy piano music playing ]
400
00:16:35,228 --> 00:16:37,030
Welcome back, nighthawks.
401
00:16:37,064 --> 00:16:38,698
We've been expecting you.
402
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:43,870
♪♪
403
00:16:43,903 --> 00:16:47,307
Oh, no. I'm gonna
forget them forever.
404
00:16:47,340 --> 00:16:55,148
♪♪
405
00:16:55,182 --> 00:17:02,922
♪♪
406
00:17:02,955 --> 00:17:10,763
♪♪
407
00:17:10,797 --> 00:17:13,600
Have you heard the new hi-fi's
with the quadraphonic sound?
408
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:16,436
They're really the best
for listening to jazz.
409
00:17:16,469 --> 00:17:19,739
It sounds like,
"Skeedle-dee-deep-do-bop-do-bop,
410
00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:24,077
scoop-doop, sly-gar,
flarga-marga, smee-boo."
411
00:17:24,111 --> 00:17:26,179
A man can't be himself
in the kitchen.
412
00:17:26,213 --> 00:17:28,348
It's not his domain.
413
00:17:28,381 --> 00:17:32,385
But what about when he gets
hungry, and she's not there?
414
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:35,788
Well, the space-age
wet bar of tomorrow
415
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:38,057
can satisfy his hunger.
416
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,960
A Rumaki-Maker-Matic,
folks.
417
00:17:40,993 --> 00:17:44,131
Just plug it in, load the hopper
with chicken liver,
418
00:17:44,164 --> 00:17:47,066
and within minutes,
nuclear-hot hors d'oeuvres
419
00:17:47,100 --> 00:17:48,535
plop out all over
420
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:51,771
this green tray
that looks like a cabbage.
421
00:17:51,804 --> 00:17:54,474
-Ah!
-Ooh!
422
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,476
Now, picture it.
It's 11:15.
423
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:58,278
You're at the Sands.
424
00:17:58,311 --> 00:18:01,881
Frank Sinatra's overflow girls
are starting to get hungry.
425
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,484
They say they want melted
cheese and lots of it.
426
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,953
Time for fondue.
427
00:18:06,986 --> 00:18:08,288
Fondue.
428
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,989
With an electric
fondue set,
429
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,991
it's fast,
it's easy and clean,
430
00:18:12,024 --> 00:18:14,093
and lets you
eat more cheese
431
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:16,629
more quickly
than ever before.
432
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:18,598
Fondue! Fondue.
433
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:20,133
Electric fondue!
434
00:18:20,167 --> 00:18:22,101
Bingo-bango,
hot cheese on tap!
435
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,003
My wife!
My wife, Fondue!
436
00:18:24,036 --> 00:18:25,905
No, Fondine.
Francine!
437
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:29,842
I remember Francine, and, oh,
how she loved her fondue!
438
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:30,977
Tuttle! Wake up!
439
00:18:31,010 --> 00:18:32,679
-[ Screaming ]
-Francine!
440
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:34,181
Hayley! Steve!
441
00:18:34,214 --> 00:18:36,416
Klaus! Roger!
442
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:37,950
I'm not a nighthawk!
443
00:18:37,984 --> 00:18:39,986
I want my family!
444
00:18:42,222 --> 00:18:44,291
We're going to take
a commercial break,
445
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:47,627
and when we return,
I promise the party will be...
446
00:18:47,660 --> 00:18:49,529
back on track.
447
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,863
Stan, are you okay?
448
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:53,366
You're wearing the wall
like a hat.
449
00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:54,667
Whoa.
450
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:57,804
♪♪
451
00:18:57,837 --> 00:19:00,139
I came in
through the static.
452
00:19:00,173 --> 00:19:02,008
This is the way out!
453
00:19:02,041 --> 00:19:04,711
♪♪
454
00:19:04,744 --> 00:19:07,013
Technical Director:
And we're clear to commercial.
455
00:19:07,046 --> 00:19:10,283
♪♪
456
00:19:10,317 --> 00:19:11,818
[ Snarling ]
457
00:19:11,851 --> 00:19:13,820
♪♪
458
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,488
[ Continues snarling ]
459
00:19:15,522 --> 00:19:24,864
♪♪
460
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:28,167
[ Tapping ]
461
00:19:28,201 --> 00:19:30,570
[ Gasps ]
462
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:32,038
Let go of me, you monster!
463
00:19:32,071 --> 00:19:34,841
Tuttle: Ow! Stan,
you're kicking my face!
464
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:38,911
♪♪
465
00:19:38,945 --> 00:19:40,513
Oh! We're safe.
466
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:41,548
He can't get past the --
467
00:19:41,581 --> 00:19:42,849
[ Covax roars ]
468
00:19:42,882 --> 00:19:44,217
[ Both scream ]
469
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:46,353
[ Screaming ]
470
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:49,222
♪♪
471
00:19:52,058 --> 00:19:54,627
[ Singsong voice ]
Look what I did!
472
00:19:56,263 --> 00:19:57,397
Where the hell
have you been?
473
00:19:57,430 --> 00:19:58,898
I almost
went down there.
474
00:19:58,931 --> 00:20:01,434
Family!
Oh, sweet family!
475
00:20:01,468 --> 00:20:03,703
I want you to know that
I haven't forgotten you,
476
00:20:03,736 --> 00:20:05,238
even if I came close.
477
00:20:05,272 --> 00:20:09,108
I'm here now, and I want to do
what you want to do.
478
00:20:09,141 --> 00:20:11,944
I want to raise this child.
479
00:20:11,978 --> 00:20:14,046
-Daddy's here.
-I'm not doing that anymore.
480
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:15,348
Thank God.
[ Thud ]
481
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,183
[ Both grunting ]
482
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:22,389
♪♪
483
00:20:22,422 --> 00:20:27,560
♪♪
484
00:20:27,594 --> 00:20:29,028
Poor bastard.
485
00:20:29,061 --> 00:20:31,197
Feels good to have things
back to normal.
486
00:20:31,230 --> 00:20:32,799
-Stan?
-Whaddup?
487
00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:37,537
Have you heard the new hi-fi's
with quadraphonic sound?
488
00:20:37,570 --> 00:20:39,406
They're the best hi-fi's
for...
489
00:20:39,439 --> 00:20:41,574
-Ja-a-a-zz.
-Ja-a-a-zz.
490
00:20:41,608 --> 00:20:44,143
No. No! No!
491
00:20:44,176 --> 00:20:46,446
No-o-o-o!
492
00:20:46,479 --> 00:20:49,115
Announcer:
That's right! "American Dad!"
is now a show that exists
493
00:20:49,148 --> 00:20:54,487
on TV in the basement of
the family of "American Dad!"
494
00:20:54,521 --> 00:20:56,088
Another great episode.
495
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,825
So long, nighthawks.
496
00:20:58,858 --> 00:21:02,161
♪♪
497
00:21:02,194 --> 00:21:04,130
Bye! Have a beautiful time!
34009
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