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1
00:00:04,505 --> 00:00:06,440
Roger?
Did you get glasses?
2
00:00:06,540 --> 00:00:08,242
Not glasses,
Francine.
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:09,777
Transitions.
4
00:00:09,877 --> 00:00:11,379
(guitar riff plays)
5
00:00:11,479 --> 00:00:13,013
Best product
I've ever owned.
6
00:00:13,114 --> 00:00:14,748
Now I don't have to switch out
my regular glasses
7
00:00:14,848 --> 00:00:16,950
for sunglasses
every time I go outside.
8
00:00:17,051 --> 00:00:19,420
But you didn't wear
glasses before.
9
00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:22,256
But now I don't have
to switch 'em out!
10
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,592
Ugh! Eyes hurt like
a bitch, though.
11
00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:27,261
That dead hobo must've
been blind as a bat.
12
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:28,296
(clears throat)
13
00:00:28,396 --> 00:00:30,431
Mama? Papa?
14
00:00:30,531 --> 00:00:32,533
Barry invited me
to go with his family
15
00:00:32,633 --> 00:00:34,235
on a trip next month
to see the world's
16
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:36,070
largest
chest of drawers.
17
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:37,771
And I'd very much
like to go.
18
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,073
I don't know.
19
00:00:39,173 --> 00:00:41,109
We've never
met Barry's parents.
20
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:44,112
But judging from Barry, I think
it's safe to assume they're --
21
00:00:44,212 --> 00:00:46,647
and this is nothing against
Barry, we love Barry --
22
00:00:46,747 --> 00:00:49,117
monstrously stupid
sewer-people.
23
00:00:49,217 --> 00:00:51,051
Agreed.
Answer is a hard no.
24
00:00:51,152 --> 00:00:54,555
Another brilliant decision
by my genius parents.
25
00:00:54,655 --> 00:00:56,090
Sass-back.
26
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:58,426
In my very own home.
That's it!
27
00:00:58,526 --> 00:01:00,994
Not only are you not
going on that trip, Smartmouth,
28
00:01:01,095 --> 00:01:02,430
you're grounded
for two weeks!
29
00:01:02,530 --> 00:01:04,064
You're so unfair!
30
00:01:04,165 --> 00:01:05,599
You never let me
do anything!
31
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:06,767
I'm so frustrated,
I...
32
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:07,935
(thud)
33
00:01:08,035 --> 00:01:10,604
Ooh, I feel it
coming on!
34
00:01:10,704 --> 00:01:12,473
Don't you do it,
young man.
35
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:14,608
I think I'm gonna
go bananas!
36
00:01:14,708 --> 00:01:16,610
-Do not go bananas...
-It's gonna happen!
37
00:01:16,710 --> 00:01:18,779
-You best not go bananas, boy!
-I'm gonna go bananas!
38
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,281
Do it, Steve.
Go bananas.
39
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:21,915
-(scrapes)
-(groans)
40
00:01:22,015 --> 00:01:24,352
Aaahgg-blahh-jyaah!
41
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:26,820
(screaming indistinctly)
42
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:27,955
Is this what you want?!
43
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,790
Are you happy now?!
44
00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:33,494
(screaming)
45
00:01:37,665 --> 00:01:39,700
(continues screaming)
46
00:01:42,470 --> 00:01:45,806
Is this what you wanted?!
Me goin' bananas!
47
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:47,708
(continues screaming)
48
00:01:47,808 --> 00:01:50,844
Sounds like Steve's
goin' bananas again.
49
00:01:50,944 --> 00:01:51,945
(continues screaming)
50
00:01:52,045 --> 00:01:53,013
(thud)
51
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,114
Yep.
52
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,617
(patriotic music plays)
53
00:01:56,717 --> 00:01:59,287
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
54
00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:03,224
♪ I got a feelin' that
it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪
55
00:02:03,324 --> 00:02:06,560
♪ The sun in the sky
has a smile on his face ♪
56
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:10,631
♪ And he's shinin' a salute
to the American race ♪
57
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,803
♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
58
00:02:15,903 --> 00:02:18,071
-♪ Good -- ♪
-♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
59
00:02:18,172 --> 00:02:19,373
Aah!
60
00:02:20,708 --> 00:02:24,044
♪ Good morning, U.S.A. ♪
61
00:02:24,144 --> 00:02:26,547
♪♪
62
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,250
(sighs) I wish my parents
were more like yours, Barry.
63
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,718
They let you
do whatever you want.
64
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:33,487
I once spent the night
at Claim Jumper's!
65
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:34,488
That's it!
66
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:36,023
Claim Jumpers?
67
00:02:36,123 --> 00:02:37,325
Okay, but I think
they'll be
68
00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:38,826
on the look-out
for me this time.
69
00:02:38,926 --> 00:02:41,662
No, if our parents
became friends,
70
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:44,698
yours are so chill,
maybe they'd rub off on mine.
71
00:02:44,798 --> 00:02:46,500
Then we'd be able to
hang out all the time
72
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,701
and do whatever we want!
73
00:02:47,801 --> 00:02:49,570
It'll be like The Purge!
74
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:51,439
We could
go on a rampage!
75
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:54,875
-Rampage! Rampage! Rampage!
-Rampage! Rampage! Rampage!
76
00:02:57,445 --> 00:03:00,448
Everybody, the eclipse
is about to start!
77
00:03:00,548 --> 00:03:03,050
Everybody, take a pair
of special glasses
78
00:03:03,150 --> 00:03:04,852
from my giant tub of glasses.
79
00:03:04,952 --> 00:03:07,721
(chuckles)
I think these bad boys
80
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,057
will do me just fine,
thank you very much.
81
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:11,792
Roger, you could really
damage your eyes
82
00:03:11,892 --> 00:03:14,094
looking at the eclipse
with just your glasses.
83
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:16,730
Uh, they're not just glasses,
Klaus, they're...
84
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:18,366
-Transitions.
-...a lifestyle.
85
00:03:18,466 --> 00:03:20,268
(guitar riff plays)
86
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,270
(gasps)
It's starting!
87
00:03:25,138 --> 00:03:27,908
Ooh.
88
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:31,412
TUTTLE:
And here comes the sun!
89
00:03:32,446 --> 00:03:35,416
(sizzling)
90
00:03:35,516 --> 00:03:37,585
Pretty neat...
Pretty neat.
91
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,753
Welp, I'm blind.
92
00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:41,322
I do not blame
the glasses, though.
93
00:03:41,422 --> 00:03:43,557
Good product.
Solid product.
94
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:50,163
I can't believe Steve
talked us into going to dinner
95
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:53,100
with that goon Barry
and his cave-troll parents.
96
00:03:53,200 --> 00:03:55,068
Hey, I don't wanna
do this, either.
97
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:57,237
You think chowing down
on swamp stew
98
00:03:57,338 --> 00:04:00,674
with a couple of real-life ogres
is at the top of my bucket list?
99
00:04:00,774 --> 00:04:02,676
I think when you two
finally actually meet
100
00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,778
Barry's parents, you're
really gonna like them.
101
00:04:04,878 --> 00:04:05,779
Nope.
102
00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:08,349
(doorbell rings)
103
00:04:08,449 --> 00:04:11,285
Stan.
Francine.
104
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:12,520
Outta sight.
105
00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:16,657
Well, get the heck
in here, you three.
106
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,760
The fondue's
startin' to skin up.
107
00:04:19,860 --> 00:04:23,964
Whoa!
This place is incredible!
108
00:04:24,064 --> 00:04:26,800
So much mahogany.
109
00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:28,268
Thick wood.
110
00:04:28,369 --> 00:04:29,770
A man's wood.
111
00:04:29,870 --> 00:04:31,372
Mahalo. Mahalo.
112
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,541
Stan-o, c'mere, I gotta
show you the hi-fi.
113
00:04:33,641 --> 00:04:34,842
Outta sight.
114
00:04:34,942 --> 00:04:37,778
Mom, you know
Mrs. Robinson here makes
115
00:04:37,878 --> 00:04:39,947
a mean
Harvey Wallbanger...
116
00:04:40,047 --> 00:04:41,782
Oh, it's just vodka with
some orange juice
117
00:04:41,882 --> 00:04:43,384
and a scooch of Galliano.
118
00:04:43,484 --> 00:04:46,320
You put things
in your vodka?
119
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:50,558
Ooh, girl, I feel like I'm
at the Ritz Charleston!
120
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,526
You know, Dad,
Mr. Robinson played
121
00:04:52,626 --> 00:04:53,961
a little ball back in college.
122
00:04:54,061 --> 00:04:55,162
Ted, you played
a little ball?
123
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,364
Yep, little ball.
124
00:04:56,464 --> 00:04:57,631
Little college ball.
125
00:04:57,731 --> 00:04:59,667
I'll be damned,
a little ball...
126
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,735
Little ball up
at San Jose State.
127
00:05:01,835 --> 00:05:03,136
A little ball.
128
00:05:03,236 --> 00:05:04,738
-Hey, Franny!
-It was just a little ball.
129
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,239
You know Ted here
played a little ball?
130
00:05:06,340 --> 00:05:07,508
Ted played
a little ball?
131
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,377
Little ball up
at San Jose State.
132
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:11,879
I was actually coached
by John Elway's dad.
133
00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:13,080
(whistles)
134
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:14,515
Have you ever met
John Elway?
135
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:16,750
No. But I've always
wanted to.
136
00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:17,918
Me, too.
137
00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,052
Wow.
138
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,888
♪ With the rain in Shambala ♪
139
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:23,391
♪ Ah, ooh ♪
140
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,927
C'mon, Franny,
gimme a bump, sister!
141
00:05:27,027 --> 00:05:30,063
-Ooh! Whoop!
-(laughs)
142
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,867
♪ Ah, ooh, yeah ♪
143
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:35,703
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
144
00:05:37,738 --> 00:05:40,173
Bli-i-i-i-nd.
145
00:05:40,273 --> 00:05:41,942
Sa-a-a-a-d.
146
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:43,844
-(light switch clicks)
-Roger, we are not
147
00:05:43,944 --> 00:05:45,779
going to
let you just wallow in --
148
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:47,347
Wait, why are you
in a wheelchair?
149
00:05:47,448 --> 00:05:49,282
I didn't know what kind of chair
I was sitting down in
150
00:05:49,383 --> 00:05:50,451
because I'm blind!
151
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:52,953
(sobs)
152
00:05:53,053 --> 00:05:55,689
C'mon, Roger, you can still
live a full life.
153
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,090
Can I, Steve?
154
00:05:57,190 --> 00:05:59,059
I'll never see another
Thomas Kinkade,
155
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,395
or a fat guy
falling over on a Rascal.
156
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,464
I guess I'll just have to
kill myself.
157
00:06:03,564 --> 00:06:05,232
Not on my watch!
158
00:06:05,332 --> 00:06:06,934
We're making it
our mission in life
159
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,803
to help you rediscover
your trademark joie de vivre!
160
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:12,239
We'll see, Francine.
161
00:06:12,339 --> 00:06:13,707
We'll see.
162
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:15,709
♪ Just an old fashioned
love song ♪
163
00:06:15,809 --> 00:06:18,311
Seriously, how do two
smokin' hot 10s
164
00:06:18,412 --> 00:06:19,747
like you
give birth to this --
165
00:06:19,847 --> 00:06:21,148
and this is nothing
against Barry here,
166
00:06:21,248 --> 00:06:23,651
I adore Barry, I mean this
in the kindest way possible --
167
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,318
stomach-turning
hobgoblin?
168
00:06:25,419 --> 00:06:27,755
(laughter)
169
00:06:27,855 --> 00:06:29,790
Ah!
You got my number.
170
00:06:29,890 --> 00:06:31,124
Oh, we just like
to think of him
171
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,393
as our groovy,
little butterball.
172
00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,729
Barry, where've you been
hiding these two?
173
00:06:35,829 --> 00:06:37,097
They should hide him!
174
00:06:37,197 --> 00:06:39,332
-(laughter)
-Whoa!
175
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:42,135
Cease fire!
Cease fire!
176
00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:43,571
Mom, Dad, may I go
to the bathroom --
177
00:06:43,671 --> 00:06:44,805
Do whatever you want,
we don't care.
178
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,977
(whistling)
179
00:06:52,446 --> 00:06:54,482
-(light switch clicks)
-Whup, wrong room.
180
00:06:54,582 --> 00:06:56,984
Never been in this one before...
181
00:06:58,619 --> 00:07:01,288
(water sloshes)
182
00:07:01,388 --> 00:07:03,924
(Disco music playing
on speakers)
183
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,826
♪♪
184
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,962
So You Want
To Be A Swinger?
185
00:07:09,062 --> 00:07:12,533
So You're Currently
A Swinger?
186
00:07:12,633 --> 00:07:16,103
So You Want To Swing with
Your Son's Friend's Parents?!
187
00:07:17,204 --> 00:07:18,806
(gasps)
188
00:07:18,906 --> 00:07:22,275
Barry's parents aren't gonna
rub off on Mom and Dad.
189
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:24,778
They're gonna rub one out
on Mom and Dad!
190
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,147
That was probably more
disgusting than it needed to be,
191
00:07:27,247 --> 00:07:28,816
but, oh, my God!
192
00:07:33,487 --> 00:07:35,288
Did you know
your parents are swingers?
193
00:07:35,388 --> 00:07:37,625
Oh, yeah! They're always
saying stuff like,
194
00:07:37,725 --> 00:07:39,359
"You're money
and you don't even know it,"
195
00:07:39,459 --> 00:07:42,295
or "You're so money."
Or "That's money baby."
196
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:44,632
Listen, my parents
are prudes.
197
00:07:44,732 --> 00:07:46,534
If I don't get them out
of here before yours
198
00:07:46,634 --> 00:07:49,169
come onto them, they might
never let us hang out again.
199
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,071
-Understand?
-No!
200
00:07:51,171 --> 00:07:52,873
-Treehouse time!
-Treehouse time!
201
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,642
Treehouse time?
202
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:57,210
Have fun, you two!
203
00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,246
I spend most nights
in the treehouse
204
00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:01,849
while my mom and dad
have wrestling parties.
205
00:08:01,949 --> 00:08:05,085
Time to put on our blindfolds
and headphones!
206
00:08:05,185 --> 00:08:08,421
(muffled music plays)
207
00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:13,226
CONNIE: Yoo-hoo! Stan!
Francine!
208
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,696
Bananas Foster
in the hot tub!
209
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:17,064
Bananas Foster?
210
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,566
With the bananas shaped
like penises
211
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:20,267
and the ice cream
shaped like boobs?
212
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:21,535
I gotta stop them!
213
00:08:21,635 --> 00:08:23,571
(grunts)
214
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:25,172
(grunts, screams, thuds)
215
00:08:26,674 --> 00:08:29,376
-Stan! Nice suit.
-It's yours.
216
00:08:29,476 --> 00:08:31,712
Yeah, but you really
fill it out.
217
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:33,714
Give it a nice shape.
218
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:35,415
I need to go
to the hospital!
219
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:36,850
(dramatic chord strikes)
220
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,518
Ugh, it's always
the hospital
221
00:08:38,619 --> 00:08:39,553
with you, Steve!
222
00:08:39,653 --> 00:08:42,022
First when you were born
and now again?
223
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:44,091
ROGER: This is stupid.
I can't see.
224
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,258
Why are we going to a movie?
225
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:46,927
Because you're going to
experience life
226
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,228
just as you did before.
227
00:08:48,328 --> 00:08:49,763
Okay, but I've literally
228
00:08:49,863 --> 00:08:52,065
never gone
to a movie before.
229
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,568
GOONIE: Sloth?! You mean
the monster that killed Chunk's
230
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:56,904
entire family after
he went to live with them?
231
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,739
-Now, who said that?
-The other kid.
232
00:08:58,839 --> 00:08:59,773
-Shh!
-Shh!
233
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,109
GOONIE #2:
Goonies never look back!
234
00:09:02,209 --> 00:09:03,443
Was that the catchphrase?
235
00:09:03,543 --> 00:09:04,778
-What'd he say?
-What?
236
00:09:04,878 --> 00:09:06,880
-You're blind, not deaf.
-Huh?
237
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:08,716
Sorry, I'm listening
to a podcast.
238
00:09:08,816 --> 00:09:10,417
-(cellphone chimes)
-Oh, can you read this for me?
239
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,886
I'm expecting a text
from my friend McDaniel.
240
00:09:12,986 --> 00:09:15,255
-Shh!
-Which character was that?
241
00:09:15,355 --> 00:09:17,224
-That wasn't from the --
-Is it from McDaniel?
242
00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:18,726
I'm fighting with McDaniel
right now.
243
00:09:18,826 --> 00:09:20,994
So, if it's from McDaniel,
do not write back.
244
00:09:21,094 --> 00:09:23,563
-It's from Rafi.
-Uch, I'm fighting with Rafi.
245
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,065
He sucks so hard.
246
00:09:25,165 --> 00:09:26,433
Here, I'm gonna dictate
a message to you...
247
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,235
-Shut the hell up!
-Shut up, you dick!
248
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:29,803
Get outta here,
why don'tcha?!
249
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:32,906
Fine! I told you this was
a stupid idea!
250
00:09:33,006 --> 00:09:34,608
-Oh!
-Ah!
251
00:09:34,708 --> 00:09:37,077
That's it! I don't care
if you're blind, bro!
252
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,679
I'mma kick your ass!
253
00:09:38,779 --> 00:09:40,147
Aah! No, no, no, no!
254
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:42,582
(crowd gasping)
255
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:45,285
Did I just...
beat that guy up?
256
00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:46,519
Of course!
257
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,690
Losing my eyesight must have
sharpened my other senses!
258
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:50,924
-Actually --
-Shh.
259
00:09:51,024 --> 00:09:52,459
Look how happy he is!
260
00:09:52,559 --> 00:09:54,527
Especially my sense
of smell.
261
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:55,663
(sniffs)
262
00:09:55,763 --> 00:09:57,865
You, sir,
are a pedophile.
263
00:09:59,767 --> 00:10:02,169
♪♪
264
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,371
(mumbling)
...swingers...
265
00:10:04,471 --> 00:10:05,372
'Sup?
266
00:10:05,472 --> 00:10:07,340
I -- What are you doing
in my room?
267
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,042
Just going through
your stuff.
268
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:12,145
Jeez, you look stressed.
What's going on?
269
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,947
Mom and Dad loved
Barry's parents,
270
00:10:14,047 --> 00:10:15,849
but it turns out
they're swingers.
271
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:17,885
And now I'm afraid if
Mom and Dad find out,
272
00:10:17,985 --> 00:10:19,887
they won't let me be
friends with Barry anymore.
273
00:10:19,987 --> 00:10:21,354
Don't worry
about that.
274
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,290
Worry about Mom and Dad
becoming swingers.
275
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,525
What?!
They would never do that.
276
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:26,559
Oh, yeah?
277
00:10:26,694 --> 00:10:28,696
Sounds like Barry's parents
are grooming them.
278
00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:30,063
It's only a matter
of time before
279
00:10:30,163 --> 00:10:31,531
they claim their prey.
(chuckles)
280
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:32,833
Mom and Dad won't know
what hit 'em.
281
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,067
And then what?
282
00:10:34,167 --> 00:10:35,502
Divorce. 100%.
283
00:10:35,602 --> 00:10:36,536
They won't be able to
handle it.
284
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:37,671
Mom, sure.
285
00:10:37,771 --> 00:10:39,306
She's the female
Wilt Chamberlain.
286
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,008
But, Dad?
Not a chance.
287
00:10:41,108 --> 00:10:43,877
No way it doesn't destroy
their marriage.
288
00:10:43,977 --> 00:10:46,479
Oh, hell,
yeah, nunchucks!
289
00:10:46,579 --> 00:10:48,882
Michelangelo!
Michelangelo!
290
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,518
See ya later, nerd.
291
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:53,053
(laughter)
292
00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,488
Ugh, sorry about
dragging you
293
00:10:55,588 --> 00:10:57,224
to that awful
dinner last night.
294
00:10:57,324 --> 00:10:59,860
How 'bout that Connie and Ted?
What a couple of shitheads,
295
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:01,228
-am I right?
-FRANCINE: What?
296
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:03,697
Connie and Ted
are outta sight, man!
297
00:11:03,797 --> 00:11:06,366
Yeah. They actually suggested
hanging out again sometime.
298
00:11:06,466 --> 00:11:08,335
Absolutely not!
299
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:09,770
Now, you listen to me,
300
00:11:09,870 --> 00:11:12,372
I forbid you from hanging out
with Barry's parents.
301
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:14,875
Uh, I don't know
what's gotten into you,
302
00:11:14,975 --> 00:11:17,177
but how exactly
are you gonna stop us?
303
00:11:17,277 --> 00:11:19,012
"Uh," how about
this?
304
00:11:19,112 --> 00:11:21,114
If you so much as talk
to them again,
305
00:11:21,214 --> 00:11:23,550
I'll take away
your Internet privileges.
306
00:11:23,650 --> 00:11:25,018
I pay for
the Internet.
307
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:27,755
Yeah, but only I know
how to set it up.
308
00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:30,223
He's got us by
the long-hairs, Francine.
309
00:11:30,323 --> 00:11:33,060
Ted suggested we grow out our
pubic hair. It's natural.
310
00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,528
I can change the Wi-Fi
password in two minutes,
311
00:11:35,628 --> 00:11:37,965
and it's goodbye,
Jake Paul, Dad!
312
00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:39,366
-(gasps)
-You dick!
313
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,768
What's your problem?!
314
00:11:40,868 --> 00:11:42,402
You're the ones
with the problem
315
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:44,637
because you two
are grounded!
316
00:11:44,738 --> 00:11:47,207
-You're so unfair!
-Go to your room!
317
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,042
-We hate you!
-We hate you!
318
00:11:49,142 --> 00:11:52,045
(footsteps ascending stairs)
319
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:53,546
(door slams)
320
00:11:53,646 --> 00:11:54,815
(music plays in distance)
321
00:11:54,915 --> 00:11:57,885
♪ Jeremiah was a bullfrog ♪
322
00:11:57,985 --> 00:12:00,720
♪ Was a good friend of mine ♪
323
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,589
Roger was so happy
when he thought
324
00:12:02,689 --> 00:12:04,324
he beat that guy up
in the theater.
325
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:05,392
This is true.
326
00:12:05,492 --> 00:12:08,128
So, to further boost
his spirits
327
00:12:08,228 --> 00:12:10,430
I've recruited
his improv team,
328
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,132
Pizza Party Weekend --
329
00:12:12,232 --> 00:12:13,767
Pizza Party Weekend?!
330
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:15,803
I saw them bomb
at the high school gym!
331
00:12:15,936 --> 00:12:18,772
Yes. And today they'll be
working together to make
332
00:12:18,872 --> 00:12:22,309
Roger think he's thwarting
a terrorist train-jacking,
333
00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,612
based on my number one
all-time favorite movie --
334
00:12:25,712 --> 00:12:29,149
Under Siege 2: Dark Territory.
335
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,818
ALL: Chuckah-chuckah-
chuckah-chuckah!
336
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,953
(train whistle toots)
337
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:36,423
Listen to that engine sing.
We're really moving now!
338
00:12:36,523 --> 00:12:37,624
Nobody move!
339
00:12:37,724 --> 00:12:39,026
(firecrackers popping)
340
00:12:39,126 --> 00:12:42,095
This is an action-packed
terrorist train-jacking!
341
00:12:43,931 --> 00:12:46,499
Rog-ger.
You have to stop them.
342
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:47,968
Do you really
think I can?
343
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:50,470
We know you can,
we believe in you!
344
00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:51,972
Aah!
345
00:12:52,072 --> 00:12:53,773
Punch, Roger!
Punch!
346
00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,709
-(groans)
-I'm doing it!
347
00:12:56,810 --> 00:12:58,946
Good job, Roger!
Now climb!
348
00:12:59,046 --> 00:13:01,114
(rousing music playing
on CD player)
349
00:13:01,214 --> 00:13:02,883
Oh, man.
Now, we're like on the roof
350
00:13:02,983 --> 00:13:04,617
and a tunnel's coming up,
and there's a bunch
351
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,386
of samurais up here.
352
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,155
Oh, sick!
I'mma fight 'em!
353
00:13:08,255 --> 00:13:10,623
Good, now kick!
Chop!
354
00:13:10,723 --> 00:13:12,692
(grunting)
355
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:14,194
You did it!
356
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,464
You single-handedly defeated
all the terrorists.
357
00:13:17,564 --> 00:13:18,899
I'm a hero!
358
00:13:18,999 --> 00:13:21,334
Some of those terrorists
gave off a pleasing ham scent
359
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:22,569
when I hit 'em.
360
00:13:22,669 --> 00:13:23,803
(inhales)
361
00:13:23,904 --> 00:13:25,138
I liked that.
362
00:13:28,808 --> 00:13:30,643
Hey, kiddos,
still mad?
363
00:13:30,743 --> 00:13:32,579
STAN: We're sick.
Of you.
364
00:13:32,679 --> 00:13:34,714
I think we might just stay
in bed all weekend.
365
00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:37,050
(sighs)
366
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,819
(gasps)
367
00:13:39,920 --> 00:13:41,488
(gasps)
368
00:13:41,588 --> 00:13:42,923
(gasps)
369
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:45,725
-Aah!
-(screeching)
370
00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,560
Wait, but the news
said there were
371
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,930
three orangutans
stolen from the zoo...
372
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,032
-(rumbling)
-Ooh!
373
00:13:52,132 --> 00:13:54,935
I've gotta stop my parents
from making
374
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,670
the biggest mistake
of their lives!
375
00:14:00,573 --> 00:14:02,542
Have you seen
my parents?
376
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:05,845
Yeah, they went out of town with
my mom and dad for the weekend.
377
00:14:05,946 --> 00:14:08,015
They said they were going
to this place.
378
00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:10,217
(dramatic music plays)
379
00:14:10,317 --> 00:14:11,418
"Nudist Resort"?!
380
00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,420
But nude
is how you have sex!
381
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,188
Doesn't have to be.
382
00:14:22,129 --> 00:14:25,465
Thanks for letting us
hitchhike, Mr. Truck Driver Man!
383
00:14:25,565 --> 00:14:28,635
Helping children is
what truckers live for!
384
00:14:28,735 --> 00:14:32,105
Welp, time to deliver
this shipment of baby poison!
385
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,741
(laughs)
386
00:14:34,841 --> 00:14:36,543
(horn blares)
387
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,413
Okay, we've
got to get in there
388
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,749
and find our parents
before yours boink mine.
389
00:14:42,849 --> 00:14:45,718
But they'll never let in
a couple of kids.
390
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,057
Ahem.
391
00:14:50,157 --> 00:14:52,892
We are a single
human adult interested in
392
00:14:52,993 --> 00:14:55,895
purchasing a day pass to
your perverted establishment.
393
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:57,397
Very good, sir.
394
00:14:57,497 --> 00:14:59,299
$50.
395
00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,802
Very good, sir.
396
00:15:06,739 --> 00:15:08,841
Stanford and
Francine Smith!
397
00:15:08,942 --> 00:15:11,444
You two are coming home
with me this instant!
398
00:15:11,544 --> 00:15:13,280
You tracked us down
all the way here?!
399
00:15:13,380 --> 00:15:14,481
What is your problem?!
400
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:15,748
My problem is that
401
00:15:15,848 --> 00:15:18,986
you're too naive to see
that they are swingers!
402
00:15:19,086 --> 00:15:20,253
-We know!
-We know!
403
00:15:20,353 --> 00:15:21,354
You...
404
00:15:21,454 --> 00:15:22,789
know?
405
00:15:22,889 --> 00:15:25,125
Does that mean
you're swingers, too, now?
406
00:15:25,225 --> 00:15:28,861
No. We enjoy hanging out
with Connie and Ted,
407
00:15:28,962 --> 00:15:31,698
but we made it clear
that very first night
408
00:15:31,798 --> 00:15:33,833
that swinging
wasn't our thing.
409
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,303
We can maintain boundaries
for ourselves.
410
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:37,704
It's true.
411
00:15:37,804 --> 00:15:39,206
These two have a nickname
around here --
412
00:15:39,306 --> 00:15:41,008
"The Ah-ah-ahs."
413
00:15:41,108 --> 00:15:42,309
'Cause every time
you so much as try
414
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,711
to brush your genitals
up against them, it's,
415
00:15:44,811 --> 00:15:46,179
"Ah-ah-ahhh."
416
00:15:46,279 --> 00:15:47,380
ALL: Ah-ah-ahhh.
417
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:49,049
Ah-ah-ahhh.
418
00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:50,517
Ah-ah-ahhh.
419
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:53,453
(laughter)
420
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:56,389
(all moaning)
421
00:15:56,489 --> 00:15:58,391
(insects chirping)
422
00:15:58,491 --> 00:16:00,360
(knock on door)
423
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:02,695
Hey, are your parents
gonna be back soon?
424
00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,564
I feel like I owe them
an apology.
425
00:16:04,664 --> 00:16:05,965
-(door closes)
-(chuckles) I sure was dumb
426
00:16:06,066 --> 00:16:08,068
thinking they were all gonna
end up swinging, huh?
427
00:16:08,168 --> 00:16:09,802
BARRY (British accent):
Quite to the contrary.
428
00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:10,870
(gasps)
429
00:16:10,970 --> 00:16:13,040
People come here to swing.
430
00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:14,407
And swing.
431
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:16,409
Our. Parents.
432
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,411
Shall.
433
00:16:20,013 --> 00:16:22,082
Stan, Francine,
have either of you
434
00:16:22,182 --> 00:16:23,550
seen Roger
around anywhere?
435
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,218
Jeff said he was driving him
down to the docks
436
00:16:25,318 --> 00:16:26,586
to fight crime.
437
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:28,755
Said docks is where
the crime is.
438
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:29,989
Oh, no!
439
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:31,424
We must've done
too good a job
440
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,693
of convincing him
he had powers!
441
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:34,827
I have to stop him!
442
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,530
(laughs)
443
00:16:37,630 --> 00:16:39,199
(tires squeal)
444
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,001
Stop! Roger!
445
00:16:42,102 --> 00:16:43,603
You're going to
get yourself killed!
446
00:16:43,703 --> 00:16:46,106
Not Roger.
Call me...
447
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:48,108
Blind Justice!
448
00:16:48,208 --> 00:16:49,876
You don't have
heightened powers!
449
00:16:49,976 --> 00:16:51,411
We set all that up!
450
00:16:51,511 --> 00:16:53,380
Do I need to knock
some sense into you?
451
00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:54,414
(grunts)
452
00:16:54,514 --> 00:16:56,783
(heroic music plays)
453
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,452
Could it be...?
454
00:16:59,552 --> 00:17:00,787
Aah!
455
00:17:00,887 --> 00:17:03,223
All right, drug dealers!
456
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,692
It's lights out for evil!
457
00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:07,060
(Knives clanging,
guns cocking)
458
00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:08,395
Mind if I borrow this?
459
00:17:08,495 --> 00:17:11,298
I'd like to take a shot
in the dark.
460
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:12,932
(gunshots)
461
00:17:13,032 --> 00:17:14,201
Knife try.
462
00:17:14,301 --> 00:17:16,103
Mind if I take a stab?
463
00:17:16,203 --> 00:17:17,570
(knife thunks)
464
00:17:17,670 --> 00:17:19,139
(punches thumping,
farting)
465
00:17:19,239 --> 00:17:20,940
Oh, gross, one of these guys
totally just beefed.
466
00:17:21,040 --> 00:17:22,442
Wasn't me.
467
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:25,312
(rapid gunfire,
knives shinging, thumping)
468
00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:26,813
All right, I think
that's all of 'em.
469
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,548
Jeff, hit the lights!
470
00:17:28,648 --> 00:17:30,983
-(light switch clicks)
-Ahh.
471
00:17:33,486 --> 00:17:34,787
(farts)
472
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:38,391
Ugh, why won't that guy
stop farting?
473
00:17:39,759 --> 00:17:42,162
(insects chirping)
474
00:17:42,262 --> 00:17:44,797
As you may remember,
a few months,
475
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:48,568
but what seems
like years ago,
476
00:17:48,668 --> 00:17:50,837
your father convinced me
to stop taking
477
00:17:50,937 --> 00:17:53,240
what he thought
were mere vitamins,
478
00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:56,343
but were, in fact,
an anti-psychotic medication.
479
00:17:56,443 --> 00:17:57,510
STEVE: Yeah,
of course I rem--
480
00:17:57,610 --> 00:17:59,946
Without them,
I was no longer dumb,
481
00:18:00,046 --> 00:18:05,618
but rather,
a diabolically evil genius!
482
00:18:05,718 --> 00:18:07,086
Yes. I remember.
But --
483
00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:09,021
Meanwhile,
Hayley became upset
484
00:18:09,122 --> 00:18:10,323
when she discovered
the funds
485
00:18:10,457 --> 00:18:13,526
from her Eskimo Studies program
were going to a fraternity --
486
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,094
STEVE: Wait, what?
487
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:17,430
I don't think we were even
aware of those events...
488
00:18:17,530 --> 00:18:18,798
Silence!
489
00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:22,034
Anyway, when you took me
on this trip in such haste,
490
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:25,872
you once again deprived me
of my medication,
491
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:30,210
and sealed your
parents' marriage's doom!
492
00:18:30,310 --> 00:18:33,880
My plan is already
under way.
493
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:35,515
That was the bellboy.
494
00:18:35,615 --> 00:18:37,384
Says we both need
to come pick up a bag
495
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,551
in the steam room.
496
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,553
Steam room?
That seems odd.
497
00:18:40,653 --> 00:18:43,356
Even odder?
Our bags are all right here.
498
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:44,857
But hey, free bag.
499
00:18:46,493 --> 00:18:48,228
Cowboys and Indians,
huh?
500
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:49,529
(Southern accent)
The bellboy said --
501
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:50,730
(British accent)
No, that's not it.
502
00:18:50,830 --> 00:18:52,232
(deep voice)
The bellboy --
503
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:53,466
(British accent)
Damn, I've lost it.
504
00:18:53,566 --> 00:18:55,134
(high-pitched voice)
The -- The bellboy said --
505
00:18:55,235 --> 00:18:56,303
Yes, there it is.
506
00:18:56,403 --> 00:18:59,839
The bellboy said you both need
to pick up a bag
507
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,541
in the steam room.
508
00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:02,742
Oh, okay.
509
00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:05,878
Thanks for
the message, hun.
510
00:19:05,978 --> 00:19:10,082
(British accent) Now your
worst fear will come true!
511
00:19:10,183 --> 00:19:12,419
(laughs)
512
00:19:12,519 --> 00:19:14,053
This is the same guy
that bit my finger
513
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:16,022
'cause I was holding
a piece of cake.
514
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:20,527
Hello?
515
00:19:20,627 --> 00:19:22,395
Stan-o? Franny?
516
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:24,364
Luggage doesn't seem
to be here yet.
517
00:19:24,464 --> 00:19:26,699
Might as well grab
some pine, get slick.
518
00:19:26,799 --> 00:19:30,036
BARRY: In that steam
is a chemical aphrodisiac
519
00:19:30,136 --> 00:19:31,070
that makes humans
520
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,540
1,000 times hornier
521
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:36,243
than is naturally possible.
522
00:19:36,343 --> 00:19:38,711
No matter their agreement
not to swing before,
523
00:19:38,811 --> 00:19:42,382
they won't be able
to resist doing it now!
524
00:19:42,482 --> 00:19:44,617
Don't you want to see
your parents punished,
525
00:19:44,717 --> 00:19:45,885
young Steven?
526
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,555
For not letting you
do what you wanted?
527
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:51,691
But they only ever did that
because they worry about me.
528
00:19:51,791 --> 00:19:54,294
And now you're gonna
mess up my family?
529
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,429
That's makin' me mad,
Barry,
530
00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,865
gettin' me
real frustrated...
531
00:19:58,965 --> 00:20:01,601
Don't you do it, Steven.
Don't you go bananas.
532
00:20:01,701 --> 00:20:02,802
Oh, it's happening...
533
00:20:02,902 --> 00:20:04,637
-Don't you dare.
-No stopping it now...
534
00:20:04,737 --> 00:20:06,973
-You best not go bananas.
-Here I go!
535
00:20:07,073 --> 00:20:09,742
(shouting, screaming)
536
00:20:09,842 --> 00:20:16,082
♪♪
537
00:20:16,182 --> 00:20:18,318
(slow-motion screaming)
538
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:25,124
♪♪
539
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:29,562
Mom and Dad!
540
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:34,166
(steam hisses)
541
00:20:34,267 --> 00:20:36,936
Oh, no!
I'm too late!
542
00:20:37,036 --> 00:20:38,505
You all had sex!
543
00:20:38,605 --> 00:20:41,140
Yes, but only with
our respective partners.
544
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,109
We hung up a towel
as a barrier.
545
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,578
Although we did fist-bump each
other through it quite a bit.
546
00:20:45,678 --> 00:20:49,015
We told you we could maintain
boundaries for ourselves.
547
00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,784
Oh.
That's a relief.
548
00:20:51,884 --> 00:20:53,353
This whole scene here
is still really gross to me.
549
00:20:53,453 --> 00:20:55,622
I'll see you guys in the car.
550
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,591
You guys know what my favorite
part of having sex is?
551
00:20:58,691 --> 00:21:02,128
That end part.
That crazy feeling.
552
00:21:02,228 --> 00:21:04,130
Bye!
Have a great time!
38491
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