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1
00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:05,750
Yo, yo, Shrek.
2
00:00:07,050 --> 00:00:08,050
Shrek.
3
00:00:08,630 --> 00:00:09,630
Shrek.
4
00:00:09,950 --> 00:00:11,450
It's Dustin Diamond, man.
5
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I'm bored, Squeak.
6
00:00:13,230 --> 00:00:16,470
Hey, why don't you squeak out one of
them funny TV jokes like you used to do
7
00:00:16,470 --> 00:00:17,490
back in the day, Squeak?
8
00:00:18,590 --> 00:00:19,529
All right.
9
00:00:19,530 --> 00:00:20,990
I got a funny joke for you.
10
00:00:21,210 --> 00:00:25,130
I get out tomorrow, and you got six more
years for selling weed.
11
00:00:30,950 --> 00:00:32,650
You're not going to get saved by the
bill.
12
00:00:33,050 --> 00:00:34,050
This time.
13
00:00:40,750 --> 00:00:42,690
It's Screech. Go to hell.
14
00:00:52,550 --> 00:00:53,550
Hello?
15
00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:55,830
Dad! Dad?
16
00:00:57,030 --> 00:00:59,750
Oh, kid, I'm... Wait, what the hell?
You're home!
17
00:00:59,950 --> 00:01:00,950
Check it out!
18
00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:16,590
who you two people are.
19
00:01:19,090 --> 00:01:23,030
Hey, Levi, I think I know the name of
that song.
20
00:01:23,250 --> 00:01:25,210
I think it's called Noise Complaint.
21
00:01:25,450 --> 00:01:28,690
See, Levi, you're disrupting the whole
neighborhood.
22
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Let Mama show you how it's done.
23
00:01:53,920 --> 00:01:54,920
Okay,
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listen. Don't freak out. You're in hell.
25
00:02:02,220 --> 00:02:03,720
What? Yeah. Why?
26
00:02:04,020 --> 00:02:05,680
For a lot of reasons that I think that
you know.
27
00:02:06,740 --> 00:02:09,979
Satan's a huge fan, though, and he wants
you to reprise your most popular role
28
00:02:09,979 --> 00:02:11,600
as lovable goofball Squeak.
29
00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:15,120
You are aware that it's Screech, though,
right? Listen to me. All right, it's
30
00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,770
Squeak. The Satan thinks that it's
squeak, so it's squeak from now on. All
31
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:21,730
right? I never want to hear the word
screech ever again.
32
00:02:27,390 --> 00:02:28,530
I'm in a sitcom.
33
00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:34,350
Whoa!
34
00:02:35,010 --> 00:02:36,010
Whoa!
35
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:41,450
There you are. We have to hurry, or
we're going to be late for League Night.
36
00:02:42,550 --> 00:02:43,550
Um...
37
00:02:44,400 --> 00:02:46,500
Why is it snowing inside the house?
38
00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:52,480
Honey, remember when you said, it'll be
a cold day in hell before you let anyone
39
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touch your prize bowling ball?
40
00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:57,200
I've never said that. Get in here, Levi!
41
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Papa, it's stuck.
42
00:03:03,220 --> 00:03:04,220
Wow,
43
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a hacky sitcom star being forced to star
in a hacky sitcom in hell for all of
44
00:03:09,700 --> 00:03:10,700
eternity?
45
00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:12,120
Pretty genius, sir.
46
00:03:12,440 --> 00:03:14,800
Hacky. No, it's funny.
47
00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:16,880
Razzleberries!
48
00:03:17,980 --> 00:03:19,320
Why the hell did I just say that?
49
00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,000
Oh, razzleberries better not be my
catchphrase.
50
00:03:23,280 --> 00:03:26,000
Razzleberries! Oh, come on, I'm being
forced to say it.
51
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,900
Razzleberries. See, that's going to be
the next dynamite, you know?
52
00:03:31,640 --> 00:03:33,100
What is that?
53
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:37,760
Well, that's a catchphrase, Claude. You
know, like, hey, sit down and potsy.
54
00:03:38,500 --> 00:03:39,500
Nanu nanu.
55
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Plain de plain.
56
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Jane, you ignorant slut, you.
57
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Yeah, that's a ticket. No soup for you.
I don't get any of those references, but
58
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I was referring to that.
59
00:03:55,740 --> 00:03:56,740
Razzleberries!
60
00:04:00,660 --> 00:04:01,660
Boob farts!
61
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Razzleberries! Boob farts!
62
00:04:11,940 --> 00:04:13,040
It's your turn, Squeak.
63
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:16,180
What are you doing? Trying to kill
myself.
64
00:04:17,420 --> 00:04:19,740
Judging by his bowling game, I don't
blame him.
65
00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:24,500
Seriously, though, you can't kill
yourself. We've all tried thousands of
66
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,120
Are you serious?
67
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:30,380
Tens of thousands of times. Come on,
man. I've spent my entire life trying to
68
00:04:30,380 --> 00:04:33,160
distance myself from Screech. Good.
That's good. That's good. Because if you
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00:04:33,160 --> 00:04:36,800
enjoy it, it's not a torture and Satan
will end it. So you gotta hate it, but
70
00:04:36,800 --> 00:04:38,420
then you gotta, like, enjoy it.
71
00:04:39,180 --> 00:04:40,180
Like life on Earth.
72
00:04:41,060 --> 00:04:43,440
Boy, you're up. Come on. Make your papa
proud.
73
00:04:44,180 --> 00:04:48,000
All right, all right. Guys are watching,
just like I showed you. Get in there.
74
00:04:51,240 --> 00:04:53,060
Levi, you're killing me. What's going
on, son?
75
00:04:54,960 --> 00:04:55,960
Sorry,
76
00:04:56,280 --> 00:04:57,600
Dad. I slipped on the ice.
77
00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:00,260
Spare me the sob story, you turkey.
78
00:05:00,600 --> 00:05:02,380
And don't eat that yellow snow.
79
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:04,660
See, you're getting it.
80
00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,160
Sparing turkey are dumb bowling terms.
81
00:05:07,680 --> 00:05:09,200
And the snow part, right?
82
00:05:09,420 --> 00:05:10,560
I was kind of putting a hat on a hat.
83
00:05:13,220 --> 00:05:14,760
Hyrule Lagoon is a sheet of ice.
84
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,040
Hell is literally freezing over.
85
00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,140
All because of that one line of
dialogue?
86
00:05:19,400 --> 00:05:23,460
Seems like a pretty thin B -story,
Satan. It's not a B -story, Claude,
87
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,500
What writer would think of something so
dumb?
88
00:05:26,160 --> 00:05:30,260
The magic I use to create the sitcom is
spreading like a virus.
89
00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,220
And if I can't stop it, hell could
become a frozen tundra.
90
00:05:34,620 --> 00:05:35,620
Hey, Satan!
91
00:05:36,380 --> 00:05:38,460
This hot poker ain't hot anymore.
92
00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,640
All right, well, then, just stick it on
your tongue.
93
00:05:43,100 --> 00:05:46,820
Yeah, but it's already been up my ass. I
know exactly where it's been, Eddie.
94
00:06:18,700 --> 00:06:19,700
I found something here.
95
00:06:20,140 --> 00:06:24,360
In order to reverse the spell and get
the snow to stop, I need the eyes of a
96
00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:25,299
small child.
97
00:06:25,300 --> 00:06:28,360
Oh, that's it? I thought you were going
to ask for something ridiculous.
98
00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,680
Where are we going to find a child in
hell?
99
00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:38,000
This child falsely accused a priest of
rape.
100
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:44,560
That's not even a joke. That actually
happened. I don't think an Iowa's child
101
00:06:44,560 --> 00:06:46,100
going to play very well with our
audience.
102
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,600
It's a bit of a down.
103
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:49,190
Am I right?
104
00:06:49,330 --> 00:06:52,050
It's even more of a downer. Being frozen
in hell for all eternity.
105
00:06:52,330 --> 00:06:54,470
Now you get out there and you go find
this kid and you rip his eyes out and
106
00:06:54,470 --> 00:06:56,770
bring him back to me. I can't take much
more of this. All right.
107
00:06:57,450 --> 00:06:58,450
Boob farts.
108
00:06:59,570 --> 00:07:06,570
Can we please do something about the
temperature in here? We actually can.
109
00:07:06,890 --> 00:07:08,670
You want to reverse the spell?
110
00:07:09,030 --> 00:07:13,430
And to keep hell from freezing over, all
you need to do is stab your son's eyes
111
00:07:13,430 --> 00:07:14,750
out. Wait, what?
112
00:07:15,350 --> 00:07:16,350
No.
113
00:07:16,590 --> 00:07:17,590
No.
114
00:07:17,710 --> 00:07:21,290
I'm sorry, I just don't see Squeak doing
that. Really? This is weird because,
115
00:07:21,450 --> 00:07:27,010
from my recollection, you stabbed
somebody in real life, Dustin. Look, I
116
00:07:27,010 --> 00:07:28,150
knife, yes, but it was for defense.
117
00:07:28,630 --> 00:07:31,270
Some guy tried to choke me and nicked
his arm. It was a big to -do.
118
00:07:31,830 --> 00:07:35,890
The media just loves to spin that whole
child star gone bad angle. That's why
119
00:07:35,890 --> 00:07:36,950
this show is so important.
120
00:07:37,390 --> 00:07:40,850
Gives me a chance to rehabilitate my
image. Wait a second.
121
00:07:41,330 --> 00:07:43,450
So none of this is a torture for you?
122
00:07:44,050 --> 00:07:45,050
I'm acting, Gary.
123
00:07:45,510 --> 00:07:46,690
Hello, I'm...
124
00:07:49,890 --> 00:07:51,430
Fine, I'll stab the boy's eyes out.
125
00:07:53,090 --> 00:07:54,090
It's my job!
126
00:07:57,130 --> 00:07:58,130
Fart.
127
00:08:00,710 --> 00:08:01,710
Boobie fart.
128
00:08:03,510 --> 00:08:04,510
Alright.
129
00:08:06,430 --> 00:08:07,430
Here, your eyeball.
130
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:09,990
I feel terrible about myself.
131
00:08:11,890 --> 00:08:14,890
I always wanted to see life through the
eyes of a child, but this is ridiculous.
132
00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:19,540
Yeah, sorry, buddy.
133
00:08:19,920 --> 00:08:23,880
After this whole child eye thing, your
character's just not testing well with
134
00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:27,060
audiences. I got like 15 seasons left in
me. Funnier when he was fatter. We'll
135
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:28,760
write a scene where I'm handling a
puppy.
136
00:08:29,040 --> 00:08:31,260
Where I save a puppy from a bunch of
snakes.
137
00:08:32,220 --> 00:08:33,220
What is that?
138
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:36,500
I'll be damned.
139
00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:39,100
It's a thermostat.
140
00:08:40,159 --> 00:08:41,400
Somebody must have nudged it.
141
00:08:44,059 --> 00:08:45,920
Snow is stopping.
142
00:08:48,240 --> 00:08:50,440
Boy, is our electrical bill going to go
through the roof.
143
00:08:55,060 --> 00:08:56,960
Take these and go.
144
00:08:58,520 --> 00:08:59,640
You guys have it.
145
00:09:00,420 --> 00:09:01,420
That is funny.
146
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,420
I guess I'll be going.
147
00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:06,360
That was funny.
148
00:09:18,410 --> 00:09:18,989
I mean it.
149
00:09:18,990 --> 00:09:19,990
Hey!
150
00:09:20,510 --> 00:09:23,450
Let's hear it for the man with the plan.
Hey!
151
00:09:24,110 --> 00:09:28,050
I just wanted to tell you, I really,
really love the direction the show is
152
00:09:28,050 --> 00:09:31,950
going. Thank you. And I've decided to
greenlight it for a thousand seasons.
153
00:09:32,350 --> 00:09:33,350
A thousand seasons?
154
00:09:34,570 --> 00:09:35,570
Razzleberries!
155
00:09:41,730 --> 00:09:46,250
Yeah, I'm kidding. It's canceled.
11814
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