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1
00:00:00,810 --> 00:00:03,850
Did I ever tell you guys about the time
I went down to Georgia looking for a
2
00:00:03,850 --> 00:00:04,588
soul to steal?
3
00:00:04,590 --> 00:00:05,590
Yes. Okay,
4
00:00:06,170 --> 00:00:07,390
well, it's Golden Fiddle Week,
gentlemen.
5
00:00:07,610 --> 00:00:08,610
Sign one out with Bob.
6
00:00:09,550 --> 00:00:10,550
You know the drill.
7
00:00:10,730 --> 00:00:14,230
Find somebody topside and bet them a
golden fiddle for their soul.
8
00:00:14,550 --> 00:00:16,610
Just make sure you can win.
9
00:00:16,890 --> 00:00:20,570
I do not play a damn fiddle. You don't
need to be able to play a fiddle. Just
10
00:00:20,570 --> 00:00:24,810
challenge them to something you're good
at, like William here is a world -class
11
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:25,810
opera singer.
12
00:00:26,710 --> 00:00:27,710
Thank you.
13
00:00:38,570 --> 00:00:40,250
I can't believe he murdered his family.
14
00:00:47,690 --> 00:00:51,970
Scoot over, you dirty roofers, because
I'm the best that's ever been at
15
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:55,850
And I'll bet you a fiddle of gold
against your soul that I'm better than
16
00:00:55,850 --> 00:01:00,370
tent. I'm the best that's ever been at
tequila drinking. I bet I can make love
17
00:01:00,370 --> 00:01:02,930
to your son, and I'm the best that's
ever been.
18
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,989
I'll beat your ass at bar trivia.
19
00:01:05,290 --> 00:01:06,290
I would beg to differ.
20
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:08,900
Well, I'm good, but I'm not like a pro
at nothing.
21
00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,640
You just said you're the best it's ever
been. Bottom line. Can I make love to
22
00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:13,339
your son?
23
00:01:13,340 --> 00:01:14,340
Just one game.
24
00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:15,720
Come on, man.
25
00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:18,300
Calling the police. But I'm the best
it's ever been.
26
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,960
Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Steve.
27
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:23,240
Oh, my God.
28
00:01:23,340 --> 00:01:24,740
Hey, hey, hey, cabrón.
29
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:31,160
I bet three dudes that I could beat them
in nailing shingles to a roof.
30
00:01:31,450 --> 00:01:35,250
and I crushed their asses because I'm
the best there's ever been.
31
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:38,510
And they weren't even working very hard.
They nailed in a couple of shingles,
32
00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:41,310
and then the whole team said that their
back hurt.
33
00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:42,510
Where's your soles?
34
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:44,190
Oh.
35
00:01:44,830 --> 00:01:47,350
They left before I could do that.
36
00:01:47,690 --> 00:01:50,310
Yeah, and then they moved the ladder,
and they put it in the van, and they
37
00:01:50,310 --> 00:01:52,650
away out of shimmy down a drainpipe, and
I got stuck in a bush.
38
00:01:53,270 --> 00:01:57,930
So you basically shingled that roof for
free. And I'm the best at it.
39
00:01:58,460 --> 00:02:01,220
Yep, they said on their business card
they were the best. As a matter of fact,
40
00:02:01,300 --> 00:02:02,360
they were not the best.
41
00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,140
I'm the best there's ever been.
42
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:05,399
Where's your fiddle gear?
43
00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:06,400
Oh, I got it right here.
44
00:02:06,500 --> 00:02:07,500
Mm -hmm.
45
00:02:08,600 --> 00:02:09,600
Where's my fiddle?
46
00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,840
I want all those fiddles back by the end
of the week. Do you understand me? Yes.
47
00:02:15,180 --> 00:02:18,000
Otherwise, I'm going to find them, and
I'm going to restrain the veins in your
48
00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,520
dick, you little shit. I'm not looking
around.
49
00:02:20,340 --> 00:02:21,520
I need those fiddles back.
50
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:22,960
I'm at a solid goal.
51
00:02:27,530 --> 00:02:28,930
Have you seen my fiddle?
52
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:30,990
Where's my fiddle?
53
00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:37,230
I'm looking for my fiddle. Where is it?
I don't know. Where did you put your
54
00:02:37,230 --> 00:02:38,230
fiddle?
55
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:41,450
Here's my fiddle. No, that's my fiddle.
56
00:02:41,850 --> 00:02:48,590
It's got roof and tar all over it. You
diddle my fiddle. I just need a bottle
57
00:02:48,590 --> 00:02:52,330
Ferdinand. You reek of booze.
58
00:02:53,030 --> 00:02:54,770
Did you lose your fiddle?
59
00:02:55,820 --> 00:03:00,220
You've been here all Golden Fiddle Week
at Burglar's Cove getting slammered?
60
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:01,240
You!
61
00:03:01,540 --> 00:03:06,480
Toad! I got another Golden Fiddle for
your soul. And this time, I brought a
62
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:07,640
trivia expert. No.
63
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:11,300
By night's end, I'm going to be fiddling
while Troy burns.
64
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:16,080
That's a reference to Nero in Rome, 64 A
.D. But if I'm wagering my soul, you
65
00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,080
should wager yours, too.
66
00:03:17,200 --> 00:03:21,480
Done. Both of ours and the Golden Fiddle
in exchange for the fiddle you won from
67
00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:22,480
me last week.
68
00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:26,040
I... will end you.
69
00:03:27,160 --> 00:03:29,540
Good Will Hunting best screenplay what
year?
70
00:03:30,220 --> 00:03:31,220
95.
71
00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,880
97.
72
00:03:33,100 --> 00:03:34,600
This is going to be a piece of cake.
73
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:39,680
Sarah, I'll take 30 hot wings and a diet
soda delivered to my table post haste.
74
00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,840
You can take your tip out of my bar box
from last week's winnings when I took
75
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:43,840
him down.
76
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:48,260
I got a real ringer here. He knows
everything about pop culture and Canada.
77
00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:49,670
And dead celebrities?
78
00:03:49,970 --> 00:03:52,250
I've been in hell for the last ten
years. The only dead celebrities I know
79
00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:56,050
Jeffrey Dahmer and Adolf Hitler. I'm the
best that's ever been at bar trivia.
80
00:03:56,570 --> 00:04:00,430
Yeah, you're the best that's ever been,
all right. The best that's ever been at
81
00:04:00,430 --> 00:04:04,710
passing out drinking jello shots while I
sit there lifting Kenny Rogers' head. I
82
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:07,810
only know The Gambler. I've heard it
five times. They must think I'm
83
00:04:08,090 --> 00:04:09,090
I have two souls.
84
00:04:09,550 --> 00:04:11,650
Tony couldn't know the difference. What
are you doing?
85
00:04:11,870 --> 00:04:12,870
Hi.
86
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,250
What the fuck are you two doing in my
soul closet?
87
00:04:17,769 --> 00:04:19,910
It's a really funny story. Troy's an
alcoholic.
88
00:04:20,310 --> 00:04:24,270
And he lost both of our souls and our
fiddles in a bar trivia contest. So no,
89
00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:25,630
Troy, it's not a funny story.
90
00:04:25,930 --> 00:04:27,510
Hashtag golden fiddles. Hashtag souls.
91
00:04:27,810 --> 00:04:29,770
Hashtag suck it, Satan. Is this the guy?
92
00:04:29,990 --> 00:04:30,990
We're trending?
93
00:04:31,170 --> 00:04:35,370
These golden fiddles are recruitment
rules. They're bait. You are not to lose
94
00:04:35,370 --> 00:04:37,350
them in a bet. You lost to Charlie
Daniels.
95
00:04:38,110 --> 00:04:39,590
He wears a vest without a shirt.
96
00:04:39,870 --> 00:04:43,110
He's got a five -pound Confederate flag
belt buckle.
97
00:04:44,490 --> 00:04:46,150
And that's his proudest thing.
98
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,599
And he had kids.
99
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:48,600
Come with me.
100
00:04:49,520 --> 00:04:50,520
We're going to get raped.
101
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:54,360
Gentlemen, behold.
102
00:04:55,500 --> 00:05:00,520
Oh, is this some kind of tree? It's a
tree of knowledge, you dumb jit.
103
00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,420
Pick it up. Gobble up this fruit, all
right? It's a truck full of useless
104
00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:10,100
information. Come on, eat it up. You put
it in your mouth, up your ass, I don't
105
00:05:10,100 --> 00:05:11,100
care. Either way.
106
00:05:11,140 --> 00:05:12,780
Come on. This way. Come here.
107
00:05:13,290 --> 00:05:16,610
You got to help these two idiots win a
trivia contest. Come on. Oh, man, I got
108
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:19,630
to eat this moldy fruit because of your
dumb asses? Get in there. Get some of
109
00:05:19,630 --> 00:05:21,590
this. Come on. It tastes good. Drop it.
It's not right.
110
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:22,870
Keep it in, Gary.
111
00:05:23,210 --> 00:05:24,910
Swallow the seeds, too. All of it.
112
00:05:25,630 --> 00:05:27,130
Deep best was the fifth beetle.
113
00:05:27,470 --> 00:05:28,470
There we go.
114
00:05:28,730 --> 00:05:31,410
Those beetles used to be called the
quarrymen.
115
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:36,510
Is that true? The Simpsons is the
longest -running scripted television
116
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,110
I already knew that. Nice.
117
00:05:38,390 --> 00:05:40,110
Work it. Work it. Keep going.
118
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:42,130
You're not the real thing. What?
119
00:05:44,370 --> 00:05:46,210
I want my fiddles back, understand?
120
00:05:47,670 --> 00:05:48,990
Back for more, huh?
121
00:05:49,270 --> 00:05:51,170
And I see you brought reinforcements.
122
00:05:51,490 --> 00:05:52,690
No, right, newples.
123
00:05:53,590 --> 00:05:57,250
I'm referencing the question you got
wrong last week. I know. A golf ball on
124
00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:01,190
average has 336 dimples. Well, you're a
week too late.
125
00:06:01,650 --> 00:06:06,610
And by the end of this match, I want two
more fiddles, two more souls, and I
126
00:06:06,610 --> 00:06:08,650
expect to be crowned supreme ruler of
the underworld.
127
00:06:08,890 --> 00:06:11,490
Well, sorry, but we don't have the
authority to give you anything. It's a
128
00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:15,320
You're about to learn what my ass tastes
like, Toad.
129
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,680
I think the Dimples is a great team
name.
130
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:21,460
No, no, no, no. Man, that name sucks.
131
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:23,960
We need something like a play on the
tree of knowledge.
132
00:06:24,180 --> 00:06:25,280
The Fruity Boys.
133
00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:28,420
Big Dangling Fruits. No.
134
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:34,220
The Thinky Banana Buddies. What are you
talking about? Tiny G. Big R. Rapes. Big
135
00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:38,220
Rapes. I already turned our name in. Our
team name is Funnelingus.
136
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:43,120
Funnelingus? Yeah, yeah, because we're
here to have fun. But if we happen to,
137
00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:47,480
that wouldn't be bad either. All right,
everybody, welcome to Tuesday Trivia.
138
00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:51,220
We're so happy most of you are back with
us again this week. Get started.
139
00:06:52,380 --> 00:06:55,320
Our first category is music.
140
00:06:55,720 --> 00:06:59,280
What is the top -selling album of all
time?
141
00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:03,820
Michael Jackson's Thriller.
142
00:07:06,410 --> 00:07:09,790
What figure appears in the background of
every Seinfeld episode?
143
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,030
Superman.
144
00:07:11,470 --> 00:07:18,210
Superman. The musical Cats is based on a
book of poetry by what author?
145
00:07:18,590 --> 00:07:19,610
P .S.
146
00:07:20,410 --> 00:07:24,710
Eliot. What is the world's largest
island?
147
00:07:25,030 --> 00:07:30,890
Greenland. Greenland. Just an update on
our scores. Tied at the top, we have
148
00:07:30,890 --> 00:07:34,290
Funneling Goose and Todd, Eater of the
World.
149
00:07:34,860 --> 00:07:38,560
Which Elton John album was the first
album to ever be released?
150
00:07:40,340 --> 00:07:43,280
Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt
Cowboy.
151
00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:50,840
How tall is Big Bird? You have to wait.
The answer
152
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,660
should be 8 '2", is correct.
153
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:59,880
All right, it's time for our final
trivia question for all the marbles and
154
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,040
in bar bucks. Category is the Bible.
155
00:08:02,460 --> 00:08:07,760
The question is, in the book of
Thessalonians, what city did Satan stop
156
00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:09,220
from traveling to?
157
00:08:10,540 --> 00:08:13,340
Destroyed? I don't know what you said.
158
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,540
I've only read the Torah.
159
00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,320
Wait, wait, whoa, whoa.
160
00:08:16,580 --> 00:08:19,600
Todd's not writing anything down. Come
on, we have to get this.
161
00:08:20,020 --> 00:08:22,860
We have to eat more fruit, man. There's
no more fruit.
162
00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,840
How do we eat all the fruit already?
What are you doing?
163
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:26,100
I'm calling a friend.
164
00:08:33,230 --> 00:08:35,929
My ear hurts. I better rub it with my
knuckle like this.
165
00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:41,730
No, asshole.
166
00:08:42,669 --> 00:08:43,669
No.
167
00:08:45,470 --> 00:08:48,750
I'm picking up the phone. He must be
busy. Just use my phone. He'll answer
168
00:08:48,750 --> 00:08:49,750
immediately.
169
00:08:51,230 --> 00:08:55,330
Ew. Your hands are hot. Thank you for
handing me that piece of gum, Claude.
170
00:09:02,010 --> 00:09:03,010
My man.
171
00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:05,390
Hey, hey, hey, where did you stop Paul
from going to?
172
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:08,470
This is Gary, isn't it? You're using
Claude's phone.
173
00:09:08,710 --> 00:09:10,030
It's me, Claude. Shalom.
174
00:09:10,390 --> 00:09:12,570
Yeah. All right, this is Gary, okay?
175
00:09:12,790 --> 00:09:15,430
Okay, I got to go. I got to go.
176
00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:19,230
Where did you stop Paul from going to?
177
00:09:19,630 --> 00:09:20,890
Is your jaw locking up?
178
00:09:21,170 --> 00:09:24,410
Told you those spikes would give you
tetanus. Okay, yeah. Where did you stop
179
00:09:24,410 --> 00:09:25,410
Paul from going to?
180
00:09:25,770 --> 00:09:26,770
Paul from the Bible.
181
00:09:27,030 --> 00:09:28,030
Paul from the Bible?
182
00:09:28,570 --> 00:09:31,750
I don't know who that is, man. What are
we doing? Where did you stop Paul?
183
00:09:34,199 --> 00:09:35,199
Paul? Paul.
184
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,340
Paul who? Paul Simon? No, not Paul
Simon. Who are you, Lorne Michaels?
185
00:09:38,580 --> 00:09:42,760
Paul McCartney? No. Who did you stop
Paul from going to? I don't, I don't
186
00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:44,380
Paul? Your Paul?
187
00:09:44,680 --> 00:09:48,100
Paul from the Bible. Why did you stop
Paul from the Bible from going to?
188
00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:52,260
The Apostle Paul. Yes, yes,
189
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,620
yes. The Apostle Paul. This is in
Thessalonians, right?
190
00:09:56,840 --> 00:09:57,840
Hurry the fuck up.
191
00:09:57,900 --> 00:10:00,900
I need you to get me to answer.
192
00:10:01,140 --> 00:10:05,810
Yes. Thessalonica. Thessalonica. Very
funny story, actually.
193
00:10:06,350 --> 00:10:07,350
Hello?
194
00:10:08,730 --> 00:10:09,730
Thessalonica.
195
00:10:11,170 --> 00:10:12,410
Funneling us back on top.
196
00:10:13,230 --> 00:10:18,790
I just turned in Bethlehem. All answers
are in. And the final answer to the
197
00:10:18,790 --> 00:10:20,570
question is... Thessalonica.
198
00:10:22,710 --> 00:10:27,230
Thessalonica. I got it. Did you get it?
Oh, we got it.
199
00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:32,940
Verbally. But it had to be written down,
and your teammate clearly wrote
200
00:10:32,940 --> 00:10:36,920
Belteen. Do you want me to go buck wilds
and rip up this place?
201
00:10:38,280 --> 00:10:40,960
So, got all of our golden fiddles back?
202
00:10:41,220 --> 00:10:42,420
Yeah, in a way, yeah.
203
00:10:42,620 --> 00:10:44,660
Absolutely. What do you mean, in a way?
204
00:10:47,060 --> 00:10:50,120
Ah, is he the workman? I want a display
case built.
205
00:10:50,340 --> 00:10:54,300
Right here, big enough for all four of
my golden fiddles and four souls.
206
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:56,839
Who is this?
207
00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:02,140
I will see your face turn alabaster when
you find the servant is the master.
208
00:11:02,360 --> 00:11:05,260
Wrapped around your finger, the
police... Job eater of the world.
209
00:11:05,540 --> 00:11:07,080
Name's Todd Stoddsky.
210
00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:10,700
Oh, actually, while you're at it, could
you get rid of this?
211
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,580
Because my name's Todd, not Satan.
17500
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