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1
00:00:03,020 --> 00:00:07,600
Eddie, I called you up here because
you're a tortured soul, right? Yeah.
2
00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,820
To me, you don't seem that tortured.
3
00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:17,320
Oh, no. The demons do a number on me. I
mean, you hear my screams, they echo.
4
00:00:18,420 --> 00:00:23,720
You hear that, right? I know those guys
are buddies of yours.
5
00:00:28,300 --> 00:00:33,520
Okay, you got things going on like, I
mean, Gary's on his phone a lot. Their
6
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,020
heart's just not into it. Hot pokers
again?
7
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:40,780
I think the main torture with these guys
is boredom.
8
00:00:43,780 --> 00:00:50,360
This little computer got a game on it
where you can be your own dolphin and
9
00:00:50,360 --> 00:00:53,080
can name it. Guess what I named mine?
What?
10
00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:55,360
Ted. Ted?
11
00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:58,940
Someone be flaming open with those
whips. Yeah, you're in a hurry to get
12
00:00:58,940 --> 00:00:59,940
ass whipped, ain't you?
13
00:01:00,020 --> 00:01:01,020
Y 'all flayed now?
14
00:01:01,820 --> 00:01:02,820
Flay master?
15
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:07,600
I can go for some coffee. Ooh, coffee
now. That'd be good. How do you take
16
00:01:07,600 --> 00:01:08,600
coffee?
17
00:01:09,660 --> 00:01:11,920
Black. Like I'm gonna make your bottom.
18
00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:13,720
You're doing those miracles.
19
00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:20,140
Hello? Yeah, hey, how's your torture
going?
20
00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:21,480
That's you guys!
21
00:01:22,080 --> 00:01:25,520
Phoning it in. Open up your books, your
torture manuals, your chapter one.
22
00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:29,340
Don't even start with me. Understanding
your pitchfork. Let's go.
23
00:01:51,630 --> 00:01:55,870
as a consultant to light a fire under
your asses because apparently real fire
24
00:01:55,870 --> 00:01:56,870
isn't enough.
25
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:58,410
Yeah, he dead.
26
00:01:58,510 --> 00:01:59,510
Gary, pay attention.
27
00:01:59,970 --> 00:02:03,090
Right. All right, I assume you guys all
have your books open to chapter one,
28
00:02:03,170 --> 00:02:04,128
yes? Yes.
29
00:02:04,130 --> 00:02:08,090
Start ripping those pages out. I want
you to take all those pages, roll them
30
00:02:08,090 --> 00:02:11,450
nice and tight, and then I want you to
shove those pages right up your ass.
31
00:02:11,690 --> 00:02:14,610
And then once you're done shoving them
up your ass, then you can pull them out
32
00:02:14,610 --> 00:02:17,930
of your ass because apparently that's
what you guys have been doing with your
33
00:02:17,930 --> 00:02:20,670
tortures, pulling them out of your ass.
Gary.
34
00:02:21,190 --> 00:02:23,510
Don't literally do it. Everyone take a
new soul.
35
00:02:23,730 --> 00:02:25,510
I want you to get to know that soul.
36
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:29,730
And I want you to design a unique
torture for each and every one of them.
37
00:02:29,730 --> 00:02:31,090
you guys to dazzle me with these.
38
00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:33,510
More importantly, you want to dazzle
him.
39
00:02:33,710 --> 00:02:37,210
Because if you don't... I'll take your
horns and you'll be demoted to a
40
00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:39,810
soul. Where can I take a shower and get
this shit off me?
41
00:02:40,030 --> 00:02:41,670
Uh, diarrhea lagoon.
42
00:02:42,489 --> 00:02:45,830
Diarrhea lagoon is not going to work.
Well, the acidity is like an astringent.
43
00:02:45,830 --> 00:02:48,750
don't want diarrhea on me. Where can I
get a clean shower, clean water to get
44
00:02:48,750 --> 00:02:51,270
all this muck off me? There's the donkey
cum waterfall.
45
00:02:51,670 --> 00:02:52,910
Donkey cum waterfall?
46
00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:57,610
Yeah. If someone piss on me, I want this
off me. If it's piss, I don't care. All
47
00:02:57,610 --> 00:02:58,610
right. I'll take it.
48
00:03:24,110 --> 00:03:26,470
Gary, you've been downloading porn this
whole week? No.
49
00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:31,170
Yes. But it's just this one picture.
50
00:03:37,710 --> 00:03:40,530
Very disturbing, Benji. You can teach my
seminar someday.
51
00:03:40,850 --> 00:03:44,010
Thank you. Way too much going on here.
Quality, not quantity.
52
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:47,130
I'm T -Head. My victim loves golf.
53
00:03:47,510 --> 00:03:51,050
You know what? Focus on his fears, not
his hobbies. But otherwise, a hole -in
54
00:03:51,050 --> 00:03:52,050
-one VC. Very good.
55
00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:56,020
So you must have a really great torture
already figured out, right? I'm gonna
56
00:03:56,020 --> 00:03:59,320
be... Staple in the head, guys.
57
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:01,100
That.
58
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:06,240
So you're doing exactly what VC was
doing, except you're just using little
59
00:04:06,240 --> 00:04:09,160
staples. VC's just ripping off a
Hellraiser, and nobody wants to talk
60
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:13,580
that. What he's doing is an homage to
Hellraiser. What you're doing is just
61
00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:18,519
blindly copying off VC. It's a parody of
him. I'm weird -owling what he's doing.
62
00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,540
Weird -owling him, okay. I have nothing.
63
00:04:21,269 --> 00:04:24,050
Gate for you? I have absolutely nothing.
64
00:04:24,310 --> 00:04:27,030
Help me. Please help me. I need help.
65
00:04:27,330 --> 00:04:28,330
Something wrong, Gary?
66
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:29,570
No, things are really good.
67
00:04:30,050 --> 00:04:33,070
My torture is so scary it makes me want
to cry.
68
00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:36,510
I'm going to blow everybody's asses out
of the water.
69
00:04:37,470 --> 00:04:39,610
Okay. I like the two. Nice.
70
00:04:41,190 --> 00:04:42,690
I'm T -Head. I know!
71
00:04:43,430 --> 00:04:44,430
All right?
72
00:04:44,730 --> 00:04:46,830
I know. Get the hell out of here.
73
00:04:48,780 --> 00:04:50,860
Just think of something horrific from
your childhood.
74
00:04:54,420 --> 00:04:55,920
Is this Scooby -Doo?
75
00:04:56,220 --> 00:04:59,160
No, I didn't have that, so I just got
you this scary thing instead.
76
00:04:59,580 --> 00:05:01,120
I don't know. Yeah, it's Scooby -Doo.
77
00:05:01,580 --> 00:05:05,440
Okay, if your mother calls, you tell her
I'm in the bathroom, all right? If you
78
00:05:05,440 --> 00:05:06,620
need to know, I'm at the game.
79
00:05:07,080 --> 00:05:08,440
Go Pythons, yeah?
80
00:05:15,690 --> 00:05:18,270
It's a sheer delight to meet you.
81
00:05:20,670 --> 00:05:27,630
I think
82
00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:28,630
I got it.
83
00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:29,850
Thanks, Troy.
84
00:05:37,050 --> 00:05:39,390
It's a sheer delight to meet you.
85
00:05:39,850 --> 00:05:43,830
You can't see, but I'm a puppet holding
pruning shears.
86
00:05:44,130 --> 00:05:45,990
Hello? The patient awakens.
87
00:05:46,470 --> 00:05:48,690
The surgery was a complete success.
88
00:05:49,210 --> 00:05:53,670
Oh my god. God, I can't help you here.
No, I was going to say, this is just
89
00:05:53,670 --> 00:05:54,670
that movie Sutures.
90
00:05:54,810 --> 00:05:56,570
This is nothing like the movie Sutures.
91
00:05:56,790 --> 00:05:59,450
Is there a phone hidden in one of five
incisions in my body?
92
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:03,010
Yes. Well, I'm guessing it's in this
bulge right here?
93
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:05,630
Yeah.
94
00:06:06,370 --> 00:06:08,090
Yeah, let's get the phone. Take out the
phone.
95
00:06:08,330 --> 00:06:12,930
Cool. Is it going to explode like in the
movie, Sutures? I don't feel any ideas
96
00:06:12,930 --> 00:06:14,510
from the movie, Sutures.
97
00:06:14,730 --> 00:06:16,530
Okay? It's a hack job film.
98
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:21,370
Sutures 2 through 8 were phoned in. All
right? They lost the whole original cast
99
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:22,490
and the original director.
100
00:06:22,870 --> 00:06:26,910
Okay. The only way to activate the bomb
that may or may not be in that cell
101
00:06:26,910 --> 00:06:30,810
phone, this sounds different from
Sutures, is that you need to take out
102
00:06:30,810 --> 00:06:35,550
phone. And you need to call your
estranged father to get the password.
103
00:06:36,460 --> 00:06:38,900
I mean, I like my dad, so it's not that
big a deal.
104
00:06:39,380 --> 00:06:44,160
My guy's dead.
105
00:06:44,940 --> 00:06:47,360
Gotta wait a day for his body to
reconstitute.
106
00:06:47,700 --> 00:06:48,700
What did you do?
107
00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:52,460
Pulled his skin off, made a skin suit,
and then I raped him. Because I thought
108
00:06:52,460 --> 00:06:54,460
it'd be shocking to get raped by
yourself.
109
00:06:54,740 --> 00:06:56,680
Yeah. But he was already in shock.
110
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,700
And then I ate him because I just wanted
to top myself.
111
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:03,820
I wish I could do it again because it's
just...
112
00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:07,540
I'm just a little OCD that way. You did
all that in seven minutes?
113
00:07:07,940 --> 00:07:13,140
Yeah. It's on my record. He was tough.
He was a bodybuilder. He was tender off
114
00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:14,980
the bone like a toddler.
115
00:07:15,240 --> 00:07:18,180
Can you get out of here so I can focus a
little? Oh, sure. Yeah. Okay. Don't
116
00:07:18,180 --> 00:07:20,200
work too hard. Get away from me. Get
away from me.
117
00:07:20,720 --> 00:07:22,420
You're so sensitive.
118
00:07:24,380 --> 00:07:27,420
Do you have any other specific memories
of your father that may make you cry or
119
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:28,039
be scared?
120
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:29,040
None that I'm aware of.
121
00:07:29,230 --> 00:07:32,450
Do you mean to tell me your dad never,
like, whacked you on the head and said,
122
00:07:32,570 --> 00:07:33,890
hello, is anybody home?
123
00:07:34,670 --> 00:07:38,970
No. My dad was pretty great growing up.
Oh, yeah. But what about the time when
124
00:07:38,970 --> 00:07:42,570
you were playing baseball and you missed
the ball and he was like, Gary the
125
00:07:42,570 --> 00:07:44,970
fairy, Gary the fairy.
126
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:46,530
Your dad did that to you?
127
00:07:48,010 --> 00:07:49,010
Yeah.
128
00:07:50,550 --> 00:07:51,489
Oh, man.
129
00:07:51,490 --> 00:07:55,310
It sounds like you should talk to him,
maybe. Like, tell him how you feel.
130
00:07:55,570 --> 00:07:56,570
What would I say to him?
131
00:07:57,430 --> 00:07:58,430
You know?
132
00:07:59,050 --> 00:08:01,890
Why did you lock me up in a hot car when
I was nine?
133
00:08:02,490 --> 00:08:04,930
Did you not know how to open a car door
when you were nine?
134
00:08:05,250 --> 00:08:06,270
I didn't know how to do it.
135
00:08:06,870 --> 00:08:08,130
I was told not to.
136
00:08:08,490 --> 00:08:11,490
I was afraid that if I walked out into
the parking lot, I'd get lost.
137
00:08:12,070 --> 00:08:13,370
Well, what's your dad's name?
138
00:08:14,090 --> 00:08:15,090
Lamar Bunda.
139
00:08:15,170 --> 00:08:16,990
Okay. What are you doing?
140
00:08:17,230 --> 00:08:20,050
Information for Lamar Bunda. No, no,
don't. We...
141
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:25,930
Lamar.
142
00:08:26,870 --> 00:08:28,090
You there? You there?
143
00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:29,980
Oh, what should I say?
144
00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:31,280
Hello?
145
00:08:31,780 --> 00:08:33,120
Is this Lamar Banda?
146
00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,460
Please take me off your list, please.
147
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:40,200
That was him.
148
00:08:40,659 --> 00:08:41,659
That was my dad.
149
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:44,720
Well, I mean, I have his address. Do you
want to go pay him a visit?
150
00:08:44,980 --> 00:08:48,060
How long do I have before I explode? Oh,
I didn't do any of that stuff.
151
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:49,440
Oh. Let's see.
152
00:08:50,660 --> 00:08:51,660
Whoa.
153
00:08:51,820 --> 00:08:53,460
This old fury's just like my dad.
154
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,500
What? Did you rent this? Oh, no, this is
mine.
155
00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:56,780
Want to get back?
156
00:08:57,560 --> 00:08:58,560
In the back? Yeah.
157
00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:00,480
All right.
158
00:09:06,520 --> 00:09:12,000
You see
159
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,780
that? Huh? That's how it's done.
160
00:09:16,980 --> 00:09:17,980
It's too easy.
161
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,940
I think Gary might be a little late for
the meeting.
162
00:09:23,160 --> 00:09:24,160
You think?
163
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:29,080
Guys, this is what I've been preaching
all week. He's got a hot car and a
164
00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:30,680
puppet, and he's in Gary's head.
165
00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:34,440
Not everybody has to be cut up and
eaten, Benji.
166
00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:37,580
Somebody's watching the end of the tape
here. I'm an adult. You're just a
167
00:09:37,580 --> 00:09:38,980
puppet. You suck on that puppet.
168
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,680
Yeah, all right. I'd like to leave this
parking lot. I ain't got my life. It's
169
00:09:42,680 --> 00:09:43,680
the sheer delight.
170
00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,160
Wait, where are you going?
171
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:46,480
Come on, man.
172
00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:48,200
Oh.
173
00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:55,800
Dad?
174
00:09:58,480 --> 00:09:59,820
It's been a long time.
175
00:10:01,560 --> 00:10:03,280
I didn't know you were in the Army, Dad.
176
00:10:03,640 --> 00:10:06,660
Yeah, I came home from the war, had a
kid.
177
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:09,540
I didn't know what I was doing. No, you
did not.
178
00:10:10,260 --> 00:10:12,980
I just didn't want you turning into a
big fairy.
179
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:18,560
Well, Pappy, I'm not a fairy. I know,
son. And I think I had a big hand in
180
00:10:18,900 --> 00:10:19,900
You did.
181
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:21,560
You really did.
182
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,580
Apparently they're on a fishing trip
together down in the Keys.
183
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:27,580
Troy, your biggest fear is being one
-upped by Gary.
184
00:10:28,600 --> 00:10:35,440
It was just nice to see my dad in his
element.
185
00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,500
Drunk.
186
00:10:37,700 --> 00:10:38,700
On the water.
187
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,760
Ignoring a lot of what I was saying.
188
00:10:42,660 --> 00:10:48,880
But there, me and Dad, we were pulling
up Martins left and right. Easy peasy
189
00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,820
Japanesey. Just jumping into the boat.
190
00:10:51,230 --> 00:10:54,190
Game warden came over and said we had to
throw all the Martins back. It's called
191
00:10:54,190 --> 00:10:55,190
Marlins, Gary.
192
00:10:55,730 --> 00:10:58,330
It's Marlins. I'll be a Martin in my
face!
193
00:10:58,970 --> 00:11:01,810
Yeah! Yeah! Coffee run. You guys want
coffee?
194
00:11:02,630 --> 00:11:04,370
I'd love a large macchiato. No!
195
00:11:04,850 --> 00:11:05,850
No.
196
00:11:05,970 --> 00:11:06,970
Get him a medium.
197
00:11:20,320 --> 00:11:21,320
Ha ha ha!
15893
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