Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:07,220
I used to make this piece of cake, and
my brother would just get so mad at me.
2
00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:09,620
Whoa! Did you see that?
3
00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:10,960
It was a spaceship!
4
00:00:33,860 --> 00:00:34,980
Where'd you get that gun?
5
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:36,500
My dad's nice, man.
6
00:00:51,360 --> 00:00:52,820
Damn, you ugly slut.
7
00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:54,580
Now you in hell.
8
00:00:55,220 --> 00:00:59,240
So people can't catch a break. No, no,
no, DJ, no. It's guys, it's aliens
9
00:00:59,240 --> 00:01:00,270
from... space.
10
00:01:01,070 --> 00:01:02,070
He's great.
11
00:01:02,250 --> 00:01:03,430
He's here to promote peace.
12
00:01:03,650 --> 00:01:05,510
He's here to save the universe.
13
00:01:06,030 --> 00:01:07,750
And he doesn't belong here.
14
00:01:07,950 --> 00:01:12,370
Hey, ex -files, if you die on Earth, you
don't believe in Jesus, you get the
15
00:01:12,370 --> 00:01:15,670
hook. Now hook him. See, that's what I'm
talking about. No, no, no! I will not
16
00:01:15,670 --> 00:01:17,950
face the wrath of the Intergalactic
Committee.
17
00:01:18,230 --> 00:01:21,390
And I refuse to gut any more molesters
until you bring them down.
18
00:01:38,890 --> 00:01:39,890
You all right, Eddie?
19
00:01:43,650 --> 00:01:45,610
Oh, thank you.
20
00:01:46,450 --> 00:01:47,470
Oh, my God.
21
00:01:48,050 --> 00:01:49,910
You healed all of Eddie's wounds.
22
00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:52,030
All right, do it again.
23
00:01:53,110 --> 00:01:55,190
Thank you.
24
00:01:57,390 --> 00:01:58,390
What?
25
00:01:59,570 --> 00:02:04,710
Because you healed Eddie's wounds, I'm
going to call you...
26
00:02:04,710 --> 00:02:09,669
Healy. Hey, what's going on?
27
00:02:10,150 --> 00:02:12,890
Eddie's been down here for 45 minutes.
He's completely unblemished.
28
00:02:13,090 --> 00:02:15,730
Well, it's because Healy's been healing
him with his healing powers, you
29
00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:16,730
knucklehead.
30
00:02:18,470 --> 00:02:22,490
Healy? Healy is short for Healifer, and
I am his Earth father.
31
00:02:22,730 --> 00:02:23,730
And it's amazing.
32
00:02:23,850 --> 00:02:25,330
It's proof that there's life in our
space.
33
00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,430
Yeah, I'm not really into sci -fi.
34
00:02:27,670 --> 00:02:29,270
It's not sci -fi. It's just thigh.
35
00:02:29,590 --> 00:02:32,590
Will you do me a favor? Will you cut his
head off and stick it on a spike and
36
00:02:32,590 --> 00:02:35,930
then slice his body up into pieces and
make him eat the pieces? He's proved
37
00:02:35,930 --> 00:02:38,730
there is life force out in the...
universe.
38
00:02:38,990 --> 00:02:43,470
He made my whip into a licorice whip
with a peppermint handle.
39
00:02:44,070 --> 00:02:44,909
Healy, huh?
40
00:02:44,910 --> 00:02:46,330
Yeah. Yeah. Come here, Healy.
41
00:02:47,730 --> 00:02:48,730
Heal this, huh?
42
00:02:50,850 --> 00:02:51,850
Whoa!
43
00:02:52,690 --> 00:02:53,690
That's awesome!
44
00:02:54,230 --> 00:02:57,130
He gave me hair. You look like Willy
Wonka's Coke dealer.
45
00:03:00,170 --> 00:03:04,710
He gave me licorice hair. He gave you
licorice hair! Cut his head off. No,
46
00:03:04,710 --> 00:03:07,690
from Zeta Reticulum! Cut his finger off,
too, and make him eat it.
47
00:03:11,050 --> 00:03:12,670
I don't want to do this.
48
00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:14,690
I know you're special.
49
00:03:15,290 --> 00:03:19,210
And you're my little peanut that I want
to keep in a little basket.
50
00:03:19,510 --> 00:03:25,090
But they don't care that you're special
or that you're cute or that you're my
51
00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:26,590
little peanut. Do they?
52
00:03:27,730 --> 00:03:29,730
Hold his big -ass weird feet.
53
00:03:30,390 --> 00:03:32,550
God bless you, little boys.
54
00:03:37,570 --> 00:03:38,570
Hey, look.
55
00:03:38,930 --> 00:03:39,970
What is it?
56
00:03:40,240 --> 00:03:42,100
I don't know, man. Looks like plants or
something.
57
00:03:42,300 --> 00:03:43,300
It's weed.
58
00:03:49,440 --> 00:03:50,500
Look at this, Gary.
59
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,740
Tomatoes. Asparagus.
60
00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:54,040
It was Haley.
61
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,360
He made the vegetables grow in the tar
sands.
62
00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,280
That's a pepper.
63
00:03:58,760 --> 00:03:59,800
A yellow pepper.
64
00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:03,500
William. No, pal. Can you do me a favor?
65
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:04,519
Sure, Gary.
66
00:04:04,520 --> 00:04:05,520
What's up?
67
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:09,420
I feel like my whole body's filling with
energy.
68
00:04:09,870 --> 00:04:13,210
Yeah, I guess that's what happens when
he eats something besides chalk for a
69
00:04:13,210 --> 00:04:15,150
change. Where do you get chalk from?
70
00:04:15,610 --> 00:04:17,029
I get it from a comics room.
71
00:04:17,589 --> 00:04:19,050
That's why I ain't no chalk, baby.
72
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:21,869
Come on.
73
00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,470
Hey, Haley, you're in disguise.
74
00:04:24,870 --> 00:04:26,790
Stop drawing attention to yourself.
75
00:04:27,170 --> 00:04:30,110
What the hell are you guys doing?
Nothing. You know, just hanging out with
76
00:04:30,110 --> 00:04:32,110
friend William, you know, just chilling
down.
77
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:33,730
That ain't William.
78
00:04:40,520 --> 00:04:42,780
That it was running slow, and so he's
fixing it.
79
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:46,080
He's ripping his intestines out.
80
00:04:46,940 --> 00:04:47,940
Hello, Gary.
81
00:04:48,140 --> 00:04:50,580
Oh, look at that. He made a little
translator.
82
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:54,760
I'm not sure what part of your planet
this is, but I want to go home. Well,
83
00:04:54,780 --> 00:04:58,100
guess what? I want to go home. This guy
wants to go home. Everybody here wants
84
00:04:58,100 --> 00:04:58,879
to go home.
85
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:00,720
You're a soul now. Your body's dead.
86
00:05:00,980 --> 00:05:03,320
I can get back into my body. On Earth?
87
00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,240
Yes, I can heal myself.
88
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:09,860
We're not exactly supposed to leave,
Healy. Help me get my body and I will
89
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:12,800
you to my home planet. We have a tree
that grows your favorite food.
90
00:05:13,140 --> 00:05:16,180
What do you mean, tell me? So you've got
a tree that just grows pad thai? Yes,
91
00:05:16,180 --> 00:05:20,980
and we have horny sex robots that exist
only to please you. All nude. Triple X.
92
00:05:21,200 --> 00:05:23,760
I want to go. I want to go. No, no, no.
Shut your mouth.
93
00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:28,620
Shut your mouth. Let me ask them. They
do hand jobs?
94
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:30,360
Well, they'll do anything.
95
00:05:31,020 --> 00:05:32,800
You can get more than hand jobs.
96
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:36,830
I'm gonna tell me they got like real
hands, right? And not like just claws.
97
00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:38,230
They're not gonna rip off my dick and
balls.
98
00:05:38,670 --> 00:05:39,670
Uh,
99
00:05:41,130 --> 00:05:41,849
you know what?
100
00:05:41,850 --> 00:05:47,170
You're gonna take me too because
otherwise I'm gonna tell Satan.
101
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:52,150
Please don't do this. You're also fixing
my eyesight because you know what? I'm
102
00:05:52,150 --> 00:05:53,210
sick of wearing these glasses.
103
00:05:53,470 --> 00:05:54,750
Okay, then down here.
104
00:06:03,020 --> 00:06:07,320
He was a liability, so I turned his face
into corn. All right, well, I'm going
105
00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:10,500
to go pack my stapler, then we can get
out of here. Leave the stapler. My
106
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:11,740
has plenty of staplers.
107
00:06:12,780 --> 00:06:14,960
Yeah, you just hide in there. Just shh.
108
00:06:16,020 --> 00:06:17,020
All right.
109
00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:23,720
Yeah, I just got to take the old machine
topside, get standard maintenance
110
00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:24,720
underwear.
111
00:06:26,280 --> 00:06:29,980
For some reason, these photocopy repair
places aren't down here. They're always
112
00:06:29,980 --> 00:06:30,980
up there.
113
00:06:31,150 --> 00:06:34,230
You know how it is with photocopiers,
because you're always using them, and
114
00:06:34,230 --> 00:06:36,930
they, like, need maintenance pretty much
standardly all the time, so I'm just
115
00:06:36,930 --> 00:06:38,050
taking her topside with her.
116
00:06:39,490 --> 00:06:40,490
Taking her topside.
117
00:06:40,570 --> 00:06:41,570
See you, buddy.
118
00:06:48,990 --> 00:06:51,770
According to my finger, my body's
nearby.
119
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:56,110
It's you!
120
00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:58,270
It's you! Oh, my God.
121
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:00,210
They're playing with your gut.
122
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:01,680
Let me wide open.
123
00:07:01,900 --> 00:07:03,700
Why, you animals, why?
124
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,580
That is too much to heal. There are my
space shorts.
125
00:07:06,860 --> 00:07:07,980
I can call my brother.
126
00:07:08,960 --> 00:07:10,160
Oh, hey, hey, hey, hey.
127
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:11,439
Mention me.
128
00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:15,180
You know, mention I'm coming with you
guys. Tell him that we can have some pad
129
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:18,920
thai on me. And my tree. The tree that
grows all my favorite foods.
130
00:07:19,560 --> 00:07:22,960
And then I can have some alone time with
that robot that's just going to give me
131
00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:23,960
hand jumps all night.
132
00:07:25,260 --> 00:07:26,640
Hold my translator.
133
00:07:27,080 --> 00:07:28,340
No, but wait, wait, wait. Listen, hey.
134
00:07:28,810 --> 00:07:30,230
I'm really excited to meet you guys.
135
00:07:30,510 --> 00:07:33,170
I think it's going to be fun. I can't
wait to meet you, son.
136
00:07:33,990 --> 00:07:34,990
Yes,
137
00:07:37,430 --> 00:07:39,530
I'm still alive. No thanks to you,
dumbass.
138
00:07:39,870 --> 00:07:41,450
That was just some stupid Earthling.
139
00:07:42,110 --> 00:07:46,090
I do not give a shit if you have to ask
off of work, Roy. This place is
140
00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:49,190
horrible. I'm going to push that we have
this entire planet destroyed.
141
00:07:50,810 --> 00:07:51,810
What the hell are you doing?
142
00:07:54,110 --> 00:07:55,570
Oh, Doctor, yes, yes.
143
00:07:56,340 --> 00:07:58,180
Aliens are normal to see every day.
144
00:08:01,180 --> 00:08:04,740
My brother wanted me to tell you thank
you for helping me. Why can't your
145
00:08:04,740 --> 00:08:07,360
brother just thank me in person while
we're on your home planet? He said he's
146
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,800
bringing the smaller ship and you may
not fit inside.
147
00:08:10,160 --> 00:08:12,900
Well, I can just take left up. Won't
that fix the problem?
148
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:16,720
There are many sandstorms on my planet.
You'll get a lot of sand in your pad
149
00:08:16,720 --> 00:08:17,720
tie. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
150
00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:19,280
Are you backing out on me?
151
00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,200
Is that what I'm hearing from you?
152
00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:23,620
Hey, where do you guys think you're
going with that box?
153
00:08:24,810 --> 00:08:28,570
A lot of the beings on my planet are
racist. You may have trouble finding
154
00:08:28,570 --> 00:08:31,130
with the way you look. I'll be fine as
long as there is no Satan.
155
00:08:32,370 --> 00:08:33,510
What about Satan?
156
00:08:35,150 --> 00:08:36,150
Who told you?
157
00:08:36,570 --> 00:08:38,929
Was it Troy? Troy has a speech
impediment.
158
00:08:40,010 --> 00:08:41,030
Shut your cornhole!
159
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:43,950
Get that cornhole.
160
00:08:44,530 --> 00:08:45,530
Come with me.
161
00:08:50,790 --> 00:08:52,370
This is a soul shredder.
162
00:08:53,050 --> 00:08:54,770
It'll shred your soul for good.
163
00:08:55,090 --> 00:08:58,470
You fall in there, you will cease to
exist.
164
00:08:59,030 --> 00:09:00,390
See ya, suckers!
165
00:09:01,950 --> 00:09:02,950
No!
166
00:09:04,870 --> 00:09:06,330
Let me die!
167
00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:09,950
Let's try it again. You gotta be kidding
me!
168
00:09:10,990 --> 00:09:12,010
Gilead, take a look.
169
00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:13,990
Thought you might like to see this.
170
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,140
the big ship anyway.
171
00:09:37,340 --> 00:09:39,620
Tell them to beat me up too. I got all
my shit.
172
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,180
See you later, Gary.
173
00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:42,480
It has been real.
174
00:09:43,620 --> 00:09:44,620
That's bullshit!
175
00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:49,500
Hey! Let go of me. You are not a good
fit. I'm coming with you anyway.
176
00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:55,900
Also, I don't like you. I demand
immunity by the name of the Galactic
177
00:09:55,900 --> 00:09:58,760
of Starfleet. Sounds like some made -up
bullshit.
178
00:09:59,200 --> 00:10:00,179
Your feet!
179
00:10:00,180 --> 00:10:01,780
You cut off your damn feet!
180
00:10:02,140 --> 00:10:04,300
Oh, don't worry. They will grow back.
You promise?
181
00:10:16,820 --> 00:10:19,920
Don't you have, like, a spell that can
clean all this stuff up?
182
00:10:20,180 --> 00:10:22,540
Yeah, I do, but I don't want to take
jobs away from people.
183
00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:24,480
Yeah.
184
00:10:24,900 --> 00:10:26,280
You said to him you promised.
185
00:10:27,380 --> 00:10:28,380
Promised.
186
00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:30,820
What, uh, what did he promise?
187
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:33,960
I mean, because it looked to me like you
were trying to escape.
188
00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:35,960
Certainly not.
189
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:39,810
Why don't you drop trial and tell me
what he promised?
190
00:10:40,810 --> 00:10:42,990
That finger's not going to heal me, is
it? No.
191
00:10:43,330 --> 00:10:44,330
Guess what?
192
00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:49,050
I'm not doing this like I normally do.
Yeah. I'm doing it the Gary way.
193
00:10:57,070 --> 00:10:58,070
Ew,
194
00:11:02,670 --> 00:11:03,890
here comes the airplane.
195
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:07,190
Looking for the hangar. You want it less
because I want it?
15118
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof