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The newer tablets are portable and
thinner than ever, but not so small when
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00:00:04,180 --> 00:00:05,800
being forced inside a human rectum.
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00:00:06,300 --> 00:00:09,040
Slight. And of course, the classics.
4
00:00:09,340 --> 00:00:11,860
Curling irons, lava, spikes, popcorn.
5
00:00:12,180 --> 00:00:16,000
We're shoving the most cutting -edge
technology up people's asses. And now,
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00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:19,120
3D printers, the only limit is our
imagination.
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00:00:19,880 --> 00:00:24,020
Thank you, Satan. Hail, Satan. May you
reign for a million years. And I hope
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00:00:24,020 --> 00:00:26,300
applause, and then I'll take the
questions. I have a question.
9
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:29,320
Why do you praise yourself in the third
person?
10
00:00:31,360 --> 00:00:34,040
Well, obviously I'm Satan, so that's a
joke.
11
00:00:34,540 --> 00:00:36,320
Satan likes the ladies.
12
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:39,720
Satan don't play that. You know, that's
all. I get it.
13
00:00:40,160 --> 00:00:42,820
But what about this on the first slide?
14
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,680
Why does it say that your name is
Darren?
15
00:00:46,340 --> 00:00:47,620
Is that also comedy?
16
00:00:48,640 --> 00:00:51,560
Darren's such a ridiculous name. You
ever use these? Chopsticks?
17
00:00:51,820 --> 00:00:54,540
Yeah. Depending on the cuisine
sometimes.
18
00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:57,140
Just had some Chinese food. I had some
Mushu pork.
19
00:00:57,460 --> 00:00:59,480
Oh, Mushu's a real funny name.
20
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:03,560
Yeah, it's funny. I can still smell the
Mushu. Do you smell that? Like soy
21
00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,880
sauce? Mm -hmm. And I'm getting a little
ginger, maybe turmeric?
22
00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,620
Oh, there you go.
23
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:10,080
Yeah.
24
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,380
Where's the clicker thing?
25
00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:14,860
I need the clicker.
26
00:01:15,060 --> 00:01:16,780
Oh, for fuck's sake.
27
00:01:17,120 --> 00:01:18,120
Ah, boy.
28
00:01:23,370 --> 00:01:24,370
Hey, how are you?
29
00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:25,970
Uh, Darren Farley.
30
00:01:26,330 --> 00:01:28,090
Hey, yeah, great, thanks. Hey, Darren!
31
00:01:28,570 --> 00:01:31,930
Whoa, Cam, what's up, my man? How you
doing, man?
32
00:01:32,370 --> 00:01:35,930
Large and in charge. Oh, yeah, look at
that swag back there. There's a granola
33
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:39,530
bar in there. Nice. T -shirt. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. Likes your laser pointer.
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00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:43,890
Yeah. Cool. How's things been gluttony?
Any plans for expansion this year?
35
00:01:44,110 --> 00:01:46,270
Oh, hey, expansion, yeah, I get it.
36
00:01:47,130 --> 00:01:49,690
Look at Eric over there smooching on
Satan's ass.
37
00:01:51,420 --> 00:01:52,960
Oh, shit. Oh, all smiles. Here they
come.
38
00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,320
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
39
00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:55,940
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
40
00:01:55,940 --> 00:01:56,699
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
41
00:01:56,700 --> 00:01:58,540
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
42
00:01:58,640 --> 00:01:59,640
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
43
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:00,660
Hey,
44
00:02:01,020 --> 00:02:02,040
hey, hey,
45
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:07,320
hey.
46
00:02:08,909 --> 00:02:12,790
No, no, no. I'm doing things up the ass
in 2016.
47
00:02:13,170 --> 00:02:17,590
No, no, no. Terry and Luft is doing
things up the ass. Did you not get the
48
00:02:17,590 --> 00:02:22,070
email? I, uh, radical Islam. I can have
two hours, right? Nope, nope, nope.
49
00:02:22,130 --> 00:02:23,150
Moved it up. It's in 20 minutes.
50
00:02:26,290 --> 00:02:27,630
What's he really got to check email,
bud?
51
00:02:33,830 --> 00:02:34,830
Oh.
52
00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:37,670
What? Come on.
53
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:38,679
Who is this?
54
00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,240
It's Satan. Everybody whip.
55
00:02:41,560 --> 00:02:42,620
Hi, Satan.
56
00:02:42,940 --> 00:02:44,200
No, it's Troy.
57
00:02:44,600 --> 00:02:47,480
You're going to have to talk a little
louder because of all the whipping.
58
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,280
I need a PowerPoint presentation on
meeting the challenges of radical Islam.
59
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,260
need it in 20 minutes, and it takes 10
minutes to get here.
60
00:02:53,920 --> 00:02:55,580
Yeah, no problem. Where are you?
61
00:02:56,020 --> 00:02:58,280
North of Diary Lagoon, past Puss Valley.
62
00:02:58,500 --> 00:02:59,500
Past Puss Valley?
63
00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:01,000
Isn't that the edge of hell?
64
00:03:01,220 --> 00:03:02,680
Yeah, there's more hell.
65
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,160
I'll explain when you get here. Just
don't be late. Yes, sir.
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00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:07,999
It's your own.
67
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:14,220
And thanks to the good work of our
mascot, Cornelius J. Cornship, doing
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00:03:14,220 --> 00:03:18,220
cake giveaways in third world countries,
I'm glad to say that gluttony is
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00:03:18,220 --> 00:03:21,340
leading the way to a more diverse path
in 2016.
70
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:23,600
Thank you.
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00:03:24,260 --> 00:03:25,260
Thanks, Chip.
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00:03:26,440 --> 00:03:32,340
Now, Darren from Miscellaneous is going
to enlighten us to the challenges of
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00:03:32,340 --> 00:03:34,600
radicalism. Darren to the stage.
74
00:03:38,720 --> 00:03:45,440
How are we going to deal with the recent
75
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:52,300
influx of radical jihadists? I have a
multi
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00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:58,180
-pronged, at least two prongs to the
problem,
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00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,780
hopefully, when I speak.
78
00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:09,600
Dare you interrupt my presentation, you
lowly imps. But since you did, you
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00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,160
should plug in the USB cord into that
computer.
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00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:15,280
Here we go. First slide. Here we go.
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00:04:15,660 --> 00:04:16,659
Behold.
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00:04:17,620 --> 00:04:21,040
What the fuck am I looking at? We're
going to gay marry them, but we're going
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00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:24,380
put them all in burkas so they don't
know who they're gay married to. We are
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00:04:24,380 --> 00:04:25,480
going to gay marry them.
85
00:04:25,740 --> 00:04:28,700
We're going to dress them up in burkas
and they don't know who they're gay
86
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:31,660
married to. They don't know who they're
gay married to. I don't know. Do we
87
00:04:31,660 --> 00:04:32,780
really want women?
88
00:04:33,230 --> 00:04:34,230
Excite them, Darren.
89
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:36,630
Darren? Who's Darren?
90
00:04:36,870 --> 00:04:37,629
It's a nickname.
91
00:04:37,630 --> 00:04:39,690
They are a well -organized and highly
motivated Darren.
92
00:04:40,050 --> 00:04:42,590
They dug a tunnel in a purgatory, stoned
a bunch of dudes.
93
00:04:42,830 --> 00:04:44,890
Yeah, one of them made a knife out of
his own leg bone.
94
00:04:45,170 --> 00:04:47,270
They are hardcore, Darren.
95
00:04:47,570 --> 00:04:50,510
But they won't be doing that when
they're too busy having gay sex with
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00:04:50,510 --> 00:04:51,670
other. Next slide. Just go to the next
slide.
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00:04:53,350 --> 00:04:58,370
So, as you can see, we are going to
contain these jihadists in a canyon
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00:04:58,370 --> 00:05:01,330
surrounded by brown spiked pork. It's
pulled pork.
99
00:05:01,730 --> 00:05:02,730
Pulled pork.
100
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:08,970
And it's covered, as you can see, with
blood. Barbecue sauce. Barbecue blood
101
00:05:08,970 --> 00:05:11,710
sauce. Bloody barbecue sauce. No, it's
regular barbecue sauce. No, it's regular
102
00:05:11,710 --> 00:05:13,710
barbecue sauce. Muslims don't eat pork.
103
00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:19,350
And they don't drink. Which is why what
we're going to do then is put a stream
104
00:05:19,350 --> 00:05:22,310
of vodka throughout the whole valley.
They'll hate that.
105
00:05:23,570 --> 00:05:24,570
Next slide.
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00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:29,450
The pulled pork is going to get soggy
with my slush, man.
107
00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:35,220
Slush? Oh, when I take over your circle,
we're flooding your entire area with my
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00:05:35,220 --> 00:05:36,780
violent, escapable slush, D.
109
00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:38,420
We have to streamline.
110
00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:44,580
We're folding Miscellaneous into
treachery, and we've appointed Eric to
111
00:05:44,580 --> 00:05:49,000
that circle. No, Miscellaneous, that's
my circle. Well, it was your circle, but
112
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,480
I had some guys do a 3D simulation of
how the merger is actually going to go
113
00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,500
down, so it's behind you.
114
00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:57,580
Boom!
115
00:05:58,100 --> 00:05:59,540
Look at you, Darren, running.
116
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,120
At midnight.
117
00:06:01,610 --> 00:06:03,090
We are going to explode.
118
00:06:03,310 --> 00:06:09,230
The ridge between the two circles and
two will become one.
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00:06:09,950 --> 00:06:10,950
Laugh with me.
120
00:06:14,090 --> 00:06:15,090
Sorry, Darren.
121
00:06:16,330 --> 00:06:17,330
Hey,
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00:06:17,850 --> 00:06:20,070
five chains. How about that? You're
rapping now?
123
00:06:21,050 --> 00:06:23,190
All in all, it was a pretty dynamic
presentation.
124
00:06:23,730 --> 00:06:27,250
Let's not talk about it. I just can't
believe your real name's Darren and
125
00:06:27,250 --> 00:06:29,690
not really sitting. You've been on this
whole time. You call me sick.
126
00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:36,200
Not from the real scene. Got it? We got
it. Yeah. So we're just a circle.
127
00:06:36,540 --> 00:06:39,460
You know in a public school when they've
got overflow and they've got those
128
00:06:39,460 --> 00:06:40,460
trailers?
129
00:06:40,780 --> 00:06:41,840
Where are the trailer kits?
130
00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:43,360
Where are the trailer kits?
131
00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:45,580
Well, what are we going to do, Darren?
132
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:51,180
It may be the pee -pee talking, but I'm
telling how it is. And if I'm going to
133
00:06:51,180 --> 00:06:54,360
be sitting here all day with a bunch of
people who say they are, then I'm going
134
00:06:54,360 --> 00:06:55,720
to have some appetite. All right.
135
00:06:56,640 --> 00:06:57,940
Oh. No.
136
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,140
Give it back to him.
137
00:07:01,070 --> 00:07:02,070
It'll be worse.
138
00:07:02,190 --> 00:07:05,470
Might as well just order some
appetizers. You know what's going to
139
00:07:05,470 --> 00:07:06,470
see all this flush.
140
00:07:07,030 --> 00:07:10,230
All of this is about to be our circle.
We're going to be swimming in this
141
00:07:11,070 --> 00:07:12,110
I'll tell you what you do.
142
00:07:13,550 --> 00:07:15,070
You just go kill Eric.
143
00:07:15,990 --> 00:07:17,570
And you take over his circle.
144
00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:20,930
You'll be treachery at his own game.
145
00:07:23,510 --> 00:07:24,510
I like it.
146
00:07:25,490 --> 00:07:26,490
I'm in.
147
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:27,910
Darren's going to kill you tonight.
148
00:07:28,650 --> 00:07:29,650
I knew that.
149
00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:33,340
I also knew that you would come blabbing
to me about it.
150
00:07:33,540 --> 00:07:36,140
Still, though, pretty treacherous.
151
00:07:36,820 --> 00:07:40,560
I just thought I'd show you how I'd be
perfect for your inner circle.
152
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,040
Well, we prize loyalty above all.
153
00:07:48,020 --> 00:07:49,160
I'm kidding. You got a card?
154
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:51,600
Hi,
155
00:07:51,980 --> 00:07:52,980
I'm Gary.
156
00:07:54,180 --> 00:07:58,640
And I don't have a business card, but I
do have this napkin all covered with
157
00:07:58,640 --> 00:07:59,640
honey mustard.
158
00:07:59,790 --> 00:08:03,570
And it's got my name on it, so you can
remember it. And I will take down a rack
159
00:08:03,570 --> 00:08:06,890
of ribs right in front of you if you
want me to. I've seen gluttony. We
160
00:08:06,890 --> 00:08:07,890
our own excrement.
161
00:08:08,930 --> 00:08:10,190
Is this something you'd be interested
in?
162
00:08:11,070 --> 00:08:12,070
No.
163
00:08:13,130 --> 00:08:14,130
Sure? No.
164
00:08:15,350 --> 00:08:17,870
I'll call you if you... You know what?
165
00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:22,110
Actually, let me just... I don't have a
lot of these.
166
00:08:23,030 --> 00:08:24,030
So, thank you.
167
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,960
Set up the explosives. They're going to
go off right underneath the plunger. All
168
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,240
systems are go, Darren.
169
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,059
What? Is it cool with you, Dare, if I
call you Dare?
170
00:08:37,360 --> 00:08:38,360
Sure for Darren. No.
171
00:08:39,419 --> 00:08:40,659
Because the real Satan's here?
172
00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:43,360
Darren?
173
00:08:43,460 --> 00:08:47,260
I'm... No, don't. Pull it off. Darren!
174
00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,460
Get up here. You're a big part of this.
Darren has been a real champ during his
175
00:08:51,460 --> 00:08:54,480
difficult transition, so I want him to
do the plunger. Yes, Darren. Why are you
176
00:08:54,480 --> 00:08:56,520
so far away behind that rock?
177
00:08:58,459 --> 00:08:59,900
Oh, uh... I,
178
00:09:00,900 --> 00:09:02,980
uh... Come up. Depress the plunger.
179
00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:05,600
Fine.
180
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:09,680
I'll do it, Dave.
181
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:23,920
I'd like to have Gary come up and do it.
Gary, come on up. I don't want to do
182
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:25,380
it. Get your ass up. I don't want to do
it!
183
00:09:26,060 --> 00:09:27,500
I'm going to go. I got to get something.
184
00:09:28,780 --> 00:09:30,940
Oh, now, Eric, where are you trotting
off to?
185
00:09:31,340 --> 00:09:35,260
Come on, Satan. I mean, you should do
it. It's all for your glory, right?
186
00:09:35,460 --> 00:09:38,440
Well, I'm going to do that and get blown
to bits. That doesn't make any sense.
187
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,440
Both in the slush.
188
00:09:57,480 --> 00:09:59,140
Down on your knees, Darren.
189
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:03,360
I am now Satan. All of you bow down
before me.
190
00:10:04,140 --> 00:10:04,999
Yeah, kid.
191
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,580
I'm Satan. Hail Satan.
192
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:13,420
Build for me this barbecue pork canyon
with vodka stream at once.
193
00:10:14,200 --> 00:10:15,200
Whatever you want.
194
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,300
Your secret is totally safe with me,
sir. But what are we going to do about
195
00:10:19,300 --> 00:10:20,300
Gary?
196
00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,300
He's going to blab to everybody. You
know that he will.
197
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000
Hey, Darren, what's up?
198
00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,240
Listen, it was mind -blowing watching
you bow down to that big fat guy. I was
199
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,440
just like, what is even happening here?
Yeah, it was pretty crazy. But it's kind
200
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,180
of nice because it's like I can relax
around you now, you know?
201
00:10:37,020 --> 00:10:38,020
I'll bet, yeah.
202
00:10:39,080 --> 00:10:40,080
Guys like Chinese.
203
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,380
Oh, me a wreck of Chinese.
204
00:10:46,060 --> 00:10:47,280
What happened to Gary and Troy?
205
00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:52,600
Oh, they were both eating Chinese food
and running.
206
00:10:53,180 --> 00:10:57,680
And they both tripped, and the
chopsticks went up their nose at the
207
00:10:58,900 --> 00:11:00,000
Okay. Yeah.
208
00:11:00,500 --> 00:11:05,200
Okay. Yeah, we made a North Carolina
vinegar sauce, but it's not holding the
209
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:06,200
brisket together.
210
00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:11,980
So what I want to do is make a cornbread
burn here, you know, to keep the pulled
211
00:11:11,980 --> 00:11:16,500
pork out of the vodka. But this says
make benches out of coleslaw.
212
00:11:16,860 --> 00:11:20,600
How the hell do you make a bench out of
a coleslaw? Just do it.
213
00:11:22,470 --> 00:11:23,510
Satan wills it.
17259
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