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1
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Hi, I'm Benji, and welcome to hell.
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Hey, it could be worse.
3
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I'm kidding. It could not be worse.
4
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By now, you've met with one of our rusty
whaling hooks, and you have questions
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like, what were my sins that landed me
here? What sort of additional tortures
6
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should I expect?
7
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Maybe you're thinking, is there a way to
escape?
8
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Or, would someone please return my
intestines into my gaping stomach wound?
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the boring video a part of the torture?
Quiet.
10
00:00:36,690 --> 00:00:40,810
We have a lot to cover. But luckily, we
have a lot of time.
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So let's hay Macarena over to the
answer.
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Hey, what are you doing? Huh?
13
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Ah. All right.
14
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Okay, everybody hang loose.
15
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I'll be back in 45 minutes.
16
00:00:55,540 --> 00:00:59,200
Well, looks like that was our only copy.
We'll have to reshoot it. I don't know
17
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why we have an orientation video.
18
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:04,720
Seems like it's better if they're
disoriented.
19
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:07,460
Why don't we make a disoriental tape?
20
00:01:07,660 --> 00:01:09,080
This video is dying out there.
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They come down to hell, they're
terrified, they're in shock, and then we
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them? Let's do something fresh.
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Let's do something new.
24
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What do you have in mind?
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New orientation video.
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All right.
27
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:30,190
Let's see it.
28
00:01:30,630 --> 00:01:35,310
Now, before I play this, I just want you
to know that it's not fully finalized.
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I'm not sure if this TV is color
calibrated or not. All right. Cool. Just
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it. Just so you know, also, before I
play it, there's some digital effects
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waiting on.
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And so when they come up, what I'm going
to do is I'll call them out. I'll
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describe them. Yeah, I get it.
34
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I wasn't sure whether to letterbox it or
not. Play it up.
35
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Hey, babe.
36
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Here we go.
37
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Straight out of Haiti.
38
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Crazy mother f***er named Satan.
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Hit your knees and start to blatant.
When you meet me, you best greet me.
40
00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:07,480
Or I'll put my horse hoof up your cheap
seat.
41
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:08,740
Hey, time off.
42
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There is not health benefits.
43
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You get one.
44
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Everyone here gets to live forever. And
I'm grating your brain like a block of
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cheddar. Yeah, boy.
46
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Or Gouda.
47
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I had nothing to do with this. You're in
it. What? You're in it. Straight out of
48
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Hades, dog!
49
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You see any ladies?
50
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William N. Beast, he's the only one
squirking. So the masturbator spider is
51
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jerking hard.
52
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He's a hell of a job.
53
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:40,860
This guy is the dopest motherfucker I've
ever met in my life.
54
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I'm a team player.
55
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Come on!
56
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That's where your face goes. Satan is
waiting to explode with the lobe.
57
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No one can save you, not even Bruce
Wayne. And if you don't believe me,
58
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don't you ask Bane.
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We got Bane.
60
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Who's this guy with the tube coming out
of his face?
61
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That's Bane. That's Batman's bisexual
nemesis. Yeah, and it may be a little
62
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difficult to understand, but what he's
saying is, he'll be bringing the thunder
63
00:03:08,090 --> 00:03:12,170
down on Brenda, and then you have my
permission to go.
64
00:03:14,990 --> 00:03:16,570
So what did everybody think of this?
65
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There's like three more minutes. Yeah,
we get the idea.
66
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I don't understand at all what Batman,
much less a
67
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peripheral villain of his, has to do
with our organization.
68
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I can count at least seven or eight
different licensing issues we're going
69
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have. Music, character usage.
70
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I also think it's weird.
71
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that the song is straight out of Hades,
and this is directed towards people who
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are coming into Hades.
73
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,820
I thought it was really dope.
74
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Yeah. I thought it was great.
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I really did, Gary. Congratulations,
Gary.
76
00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:04,880
It just came out of me. I've never seen
anything like this, where you take a
77
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:09,360
famous song, and then you spoof it, you
know? You spoof Weird Al Yankovic.
78
00:04:09,690 --> 00:04:12,710
I don't know who that is, but I think I
want all of our videos done just like
79
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that. Yeah, I completely agree.
80
00:04:14,770 --> 00:04:19,910
No, Benji, I want Gary in charge of all
internal videos from now on. But I run
81
00:04:19,910 --> 00:04:22,070
the video department. Yeah, not anymore,
Benji.
82
00:04:22,290 --> 00:04:23,970
You are going to rapes.
83
00:04:25,490 --> 00:04:26,469
Wait a minute.
84
00:04:26,470 --> 00:04:28,850
You like rapes. You're going to hot
liquids.
85
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Congratulations, Gary.
86
00:04:40,429 --> 00:04:42,010
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
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oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
88
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oh.
89
00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:11,089
Good energy, everybody.
90
00:05:11,090 --> 00:05:14,310
All right, I'm going to need two like
this and two like this when we come
91
00:05:14,350 --> 00:05:15,350
Tails later, if you would.
92
00:05:15,590 --> 00:05:16,890
Straight out of summoning snake.
93
00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:20,870
You got to do what it takes. Got to
raise the stakes when you summoning
94
00:05:21,510 --> 00:05:24,770
What are you doing? Damn it, Mike. Quit
doing the cutaways to the stakes.
95
00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:29,970
All right, I want you to stick to the
close -up of me. I thought maybe we
96
00:05:29,970 --> 00:05:31,170
eventually get to the snake.
97
00:05:31,510 --> 00:05:35,030
Why don't you turn that telephone cord
that I'm playing with, obviously like a
98
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snake, into some sort of snake? I was
wondering why...
99
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You couldn't just actually summon the
snake in the video instead of having me
100
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that with the phone. I don't have time
to watch a video that I haven't made yet
101
00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:51,160
to learn how to summon snakes, which I
don't know how to do.
102
00:05:51,660 --> 00:05:52,980
Let's keep editing some video.
103
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Tell you what, here, this is straight
out of making walls bleed. This is the
104
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hot realness.
105
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Straight out of making walls bleed.
We're about to paint this joint crimson
106
00:06:01,420 --> 00:06:02,420
indeed.
107
00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:06,660
Now, you're going to digitally add
bleeding walls into that, right?
108
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,520
Yeah.
109
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:12,640
Every one of these is straight out of?
110
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That's what I was saying.
111
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What?
112
00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:21,780
How do you mean? You could have done
Satan's Got Rack instead of Baby's Got
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Back.
114
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That's pretty funny.
115
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That's good.
116
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But it's not.
117
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I'll tell you what's funny.
118
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:29,560
All right, Straight Outta videos.
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The Straight Outta brand is very simple.
It is Straight Outta and then a bunch
120
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of words about different subjects,
right? And the only things that are the
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are the word Straight Outta and the
melody and the rhymes for each song and
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beat. When did you have time to do all
these? I have not made any one of these.
123
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,240
I just have the box.
124
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And the Straight Outta How to Repair the
Network video goes on this whole
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rigmarole about...
126
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R2 -D2 and C -T3P?
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C -3PO. I just didn't find any of that
helpful.
128
00:07:04,850 --> 00:07:05,950
Your fly is down.
129
00:07:06,390 --> 00:07:08,210
Oh, excuse me.
130
00:07:10,410 --> 00:07:14,910
Straight out of understanding how to log
into your email. You don't want to have
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an email fail. Are you going to log on
to your email?
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Here's to logging into email. Okay, hang
on. Cut, cut, cut, cut.
133
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Did you write these raps? Yes, these are
my rhymes. Yeah, of course they rhyme.
134
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:29,940
It's because you're saying the same GD
word, Ted.
135
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You've got to log into your email.
You're going to be forced to eat a whole
136
00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:34,519
bunch of kale.
137
00:07:34,520 --> 00:07:38,080
Or you're going to have to have sex with
Gmail. You see what I'm saying? Are we
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allowed to say Gmail?
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No, Ted.
140
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You pig.
141
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Do you not watch straight out of
workplace activity training?
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The force is not with you, my friend.
Take the buns off. A rapper you are not.
143
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Y 'all too white.
144
00:07:51,370 --> 00:07:57,950
Everybody in this dang room is too white
but me. I'm the blackest man
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that's ever been.
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I'm as black as Oprah's pocketbook.
Black as 85 % whole food dark chocolate.
147
00:08:06,470 --> 00:08:07,570
Let's do this again.
148
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:11,770
Gary. See what I'm dealing with here?
Shit.
149
00:08:12,150 --> 00:08:13,650
Yeah, showbiz, huh? Yeah.
150
00:08:14,620 --> 00:08:17,820
Hey, listen, Gary, I hate to tell you
this, but I badly need more of these
151
00:08:17,820 --> 00:08:21,660
videos. What's your thing, B? How many
you need? You know I love to work. I
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00:08:21,660 --> 00:08:28,060
a straight -out -of -video for every
letter of the alphabet. All 26 of the
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letters. Straight -out -of -A, straight
-out -of -B.
154
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:32,520
You get it. I want them all. Cool -mo B,
absolutely.
155
00:08:32,780 --> 00:08:35,020
All right, get it up. Yeah, dizzy -push
-izzy, absolutely.
156
00:08:35,360 --> 00:08:38,520
What is the deadline on all that? Oh,
tomorrow. I'm going to screen them in
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00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:39,520
auditorium for everyone.
158
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:42,799
What if I ask, like, why the whole
alphabet?
159
00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,080
I mind.
160
00:08:54,020 --> 00:09:00,800
To the end of the name, Jeff. And that's
my rap about the letter F.
161
00:09:01,760 --> 00:09:02,760
Cut.
162
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:07,880
All right, we nailed it. Okay. All
right, everybody. All right, action.
163
00:09:07,880 --> 00:09:11,480
going to do action on the other set.
Quiet on this different set. Action on
164
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,780
other set, though. All right, so action.
Action of the set.
165
00:09:14,060 --> 00:09:16,140
Straight out of the letter C.
166
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:21,180
It sounds like the letter D. Who's
rapping incoherently? I'm rapping.
167
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:26,200
Why are you rapping? You call action. I
call action on the other set, V .C. Oh,
168
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,940
I... All right, yes, you are wrong. I am
right.
169
00:09:29,540 --> 00:09:32,480
Next, we're going to be doing the letter
G as in goose.
170
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,820
So, action on the other, other set.
171
00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:40,620
It sounds like the letter C. I swear to
Christ, V .C., I'm going to split you in
172
00:09:40,620 --> 00:09:41,620
half.
173
00:09:55,500 --> 00:09:56,840
Fired. I'm fired.
174
00:09:57,660 --> 00:10:00,420
Sounds like someone could use a little
help.
175
00:10:00,820 --> 00:10:01,820
I can't do it.
176
00:10:02,120 --> 00:10:03,120
You can't.
177
00:10:03,940 --> 00:10:04,960
But we can.
178
00:10:05,980 --> 00:10:09,440
Okay, everyone, we're going to take
five, and when we come back, we're
179
00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:14,900
this live. No cuts, three cameras, like
a telethon. And we need to repair your
180
00:10:14,900 --> 00:10:18,080
instrument. I need some hot tea with
lemon ASAP.
181
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:19,620
We ain't got no lemons down here.
182
00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:23,480
There's a whole box of lemon over by
paper cut.
183
00:10:27,020 --> 00:10:28,460
You guys are in for a show.
184
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:31,280
Where's everybody else?
185
00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:32,879
Oh, no.
186
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:33,880
It's just you two.
187
00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:35,260
Let's get them strapped in.
188
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:37,480
Nice. I like the packaging.
189
00:10:37,760 --> 00:10:38,760
Oh, precious.
190
00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:45,540
I've got some eye drops here in case you
guys need a little moisture.
191
00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:50,120
I can't reach the eye drops. And we'll
see you guys in like 50 years.
192
00:11:01,340 --> 00:11:03,800
You know what is real surprising of all?
193
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:05,680
What? I sound black.
194
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,400
I really sound black.
195
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:14,720
If I could close my eyes, I would be
like, is that Harley Davidson Jr.? I
196
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:16,920
think of a black man's day right now or
too much pain.
16329
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