All language subtitles for young_sheldon_s03e13_contracts_rules

Previously on Young Sheldon. Dr.

Sturgis will be joining us for dinner. I
thought he was in the nut house.

We do not call it that.

That's what Dad calls it.

For starters, do not bring up his time
in the hospital.

In The Shining, Jack Nicholson goes nuts
and takes people around with an act.

When them elevator doors open, oh man.

Shelly, why don't you put your book down
and watch your sister play?

It's getting exciting.

It looks like everyone's just standing
there.

There's two outs, bases are loaded, and
the winner runs on second.

But if Misty throws one more strike,
they'll win.

And then we can go home?

That is exciting.

All three.

Full count.

Time.

What are you doing down there?

Pray for her. Right on it.

What the heck's going on?

I'm going to lose the game. Everyone's
going to hate me.

Listen to me. Just throw the ball over
the plate. This guy's not going to

Yes, he will. He's their best hitter.
You trust me, all right? He is looking

walk. He doesn't want to strike out
against a girl.

You sure?

Absolutely. Just throw it across the
plate. He will not swing.

Okay. Here, wipe your nose.

Attagirl. Now you got this.

Hey, we won. Let's get pizza.

Come on.

Nobody else is stronger than I am.

Yesterday I moved a mountain.

I bet I could be your hero.

Everybody dig in.

Fun fact. Did you know that pizza is
only one of many Mediterranean

You talking to me?

Shelly, this is Mr. Ballard's first time
eating with us. Let's make sure it's

not his last.

Interesting. Does a family meal mark an
escalation in your romantic

relationship? That's a good question.
Does it?

You know what? Why don't you go sit at
the kid table with your sister?

Where do I begin?

They're loud.

They're sweaty from skit.

Hey, Sean, if your pizza's too hot, put
ice on it. That's what I did.

So, George, how do I convince this one
to come fishing with me next weekend?

I told you, nobody's going to see this
face after a night in a tent.

Smart. You don't want that mug scaring
the fish.

Where are you going?

Lake Conroe.

Ooh, brace pop catfish.

Well, then why don't you come along?

You can even bring Georgie if you want
to. That'd be fun.

Of course, that's fun.

Mary, you mind if I go?

A bad old myself?

Bye.

It's a plan.

You got to remember to hoist your food
up into the tree so this one can't get

it. Very funny. You make fun of my face,
I'm going to have to make fun of your

enormous bear -like body.

Oh, how are you enjoying your first meal
with our family?

Well, everybody's mean. I love it.

Hello? George, John here. I'm calling to
confirm a time for beer and socializing

this weekend.

Damn.

I forgot we had plans.

I'm actually going camping.

Okay. I'm real sorry.

The invitation kind of came up last
minute.

You may not know this, but I love
camping.

Really? Oh, yes. I spend a year
backpacking through Asia.

I'd invite you along, but it's not
really my trip.

I'm going with Connie's friend, Dale.

Not a problem. I'll just hang out with
another friend this weekend.

Great. I just need to make one first.

Ballards. Hey, Dale.

About this weekend.

We're going to have to bow out.

Why? Everything okay?

Yeah, I just forgot I made plans with a
friend, and I feel bad canceling last

minute. Oh, heck. Does he like camping?
Bring him along.

Uh, that might be a little weird.

It's Connie's ex.

Boy, he didn't impress me as a camping
type.

Actually, he was hitting around about
going. Claims to be an outdoorsman.

Really? Oh, hey, I'd like to see that.

Bring him along.

You sure?

Yeah. Hell, if we get caught in a freak
snowstorm, he'll be the first one we

eat. Be like an appetizer.

Why can't I go fishing?

It's a boys' weekend.

Then why isn't Shona going?

Do you hear yourself?

Do you?

Well, since they get to do something
fun, why can't we?

Ooh, Chuck E. Cheese. That place is a
nightmare.

Something that could be fun is the
museum. No.

Let him finish.

We ought to hit a museum.

It's not going to get better.

The Museum of the American Railroad. Oh,
yeah, that's worse.

Suddenly camping with Dr. Stardust
doesn't seem so bad.

Excuse me, camping with who?

Well, Dale didn't mention it?

No.

I'm guessing John didn't mention it.

No. And when were you going to mention
it?

Well, I was never going to mention it.

So, John, I hear you're going camping
this weekend.

I am.

With the guy I'm dating.

I know. It was so nice of him to let me
tag along.

And don't you think that's going to be a
little awkward?

No more awkward than any other social
situation I find myself in.

I'm making my homemade gorp. Good old
raisins and peanuts. I'll have to give

you the recipe.

I think I can figure it out. Listen, I
want to warn you about Dale.

He's kind of a guy's guy.

Sometimes his sense of humor can be a
little mean -spirited. Just don't let it

hurt your feelings.

Well, you don't have to worry about me.
We physicists are no strangers to smack

talk. I once told Dr.

Linkletter he wouldn't know a randomized
trial if it crawled up his sphincter.

Do not be...

You're a goofy little friend.

Ha!

That's Dale. We're going to head out.

Here's some coffee for the road.

Thanks. Make sure your dad doesn't drink
too many beers.

You're funny.

And make sure your son doesn't drink any
beers.

Got it. I'll finish them all. Let's go.

Be safe.

Have fun.

Oh, I'm free.

It sure is a sweet setup.

Well, now, thank you very much.

This thing is nicer than our house.

It's not nicer than our house. Well,
don't be too sure now. I got microwave

air conditioning. I got stack old
playboys back there in the bathroom.

Okay, maybe.

Hey, there's John up here on the right.

Are you sure that's not a garden gnome?

How would you feel if there were
somewhere just like Chuck E. Cheese, but

instead of pizza and ball pits, there's
locomotives and placards explaining

their history? That's just the museum.

I didn't think she'd see through that.

So, Johnny, that's quite the outfit you
got on there.

Thanks. I just got one question. Where
do the merit badges go?

Because I look like a Boy Scout?

Yeah, that's kind of the joke there.

Well,

I accept your jocular insult as a token
of bonding.

Well, if you like that one, how about
this? I haven't seen legs that white

since... Hey, why don't we talk about
something else?

George, it's all right. You don't need
to protect me. I can take it, and I can

dish it right back.

Oh, yeah? Well, bring it on, babe.

Hmm. It would help if I knew a little
more about you. Were you, by chance, a

bedwetter?

I know it's been a while, but I really
have to talk to you.

I understand you might not want to hear
about my dating life, but if you hadn't

died, I wouldn't be in this situation.
So, this is on you.

How about a movie?

How about The Planetarium?

That's like a movie where you can see
real stars instead of, I don't know,

Kelly. We're never gonna agree.

Let's just do rock, paper, scissors.

No. Anecdotal evidence suggests that
players familiar with each other will

75 % of the time due to the limited
number of outcomes.

Well, what if we added a few more
choices?

Like rock, paper, scissors, candy pony.

Now you're just being silly.

But your idea of a winner -takes -all
competition is a good one.

We just need to come up with something
that is fair to both of us.

Ooh, what if we list all the spices in
Mom's spice rack alphabetically? I'll go

first. Adobo.

Black pepper. Cinnamon, coriander,
cumin.

We're not playing the spice game.

No. So now I have these two guys in my
life.

And I know that might sound like
bragging, but at my age, if you were

not hooked to an oxygen tank, you gotta
swat them away.

Still pissing you for dying.

I'm not going to just sit at home and
miss you.

I mean, you wouldn't want that.

You'd want me to go out and have fun.

Right?

Take your time. Think about it.

Hey, I'm John.

Three already. What are you using for
bait?

I made it myself.

It's cheese, garlic, and a little bit of
pig brains.

Pig brains? Where the hell do you get
pig brains?

From the butcher.

But you get some odd looks when you ask
for it. You get odd looks? Oh, I find

that hard to believe.

Like this.

I think he's pulling your leg, John.

Oh, I see.

Meaning, I get odd looks all the time.

That's funny.

Well, if anyone wants to try my bait,
you're welcome to.

Sure, I'll give her a go.

Dale?

No, I think I know how to fish, John.
Really? Because it doesn't look like it.

Well, maybe that's because all you're
talking is scaring the fish away.

Evidence suggests your theory is
incorrect.

Well, evidence suggests I need another
beer.

I bet.

Oh, that's nice.

You decided to stay home and play a
game?

Nope. We're inventing a new game and the
winner gets to pick what we do today.

We had to find a way to make sure that
it's completely fair to both of us.

So we made a list of 20 challenges that
combined stuff we're both good at.

Everyone who sees the challenge gets to
take a block and put it on top of their

tower. Whoever's tower reaches the
height of this rock at first wins.

Okay, I will leave you to it.

And finally, both parties agree the
loser will do the activity selected by

winner graciously without complaint.

For the purpose of this agreement, a
complaint is defined as any disparaging

comment, eye rolls, or name -calling,
including but not limited to dingus,

breath, and butt wipe.

Can we just sign it and play?

I've signed my name. Feel free to draw
an X.

I know how to write my name, Sheldon.

Damn it, I wrote Sheldon.

Dale is fun.

Kind of a good old boy.

Reminds me a bit of you.

It gets on my nerves.

So it kind of reminds me of you.

John's not anything like you.

He's not anything like anyone.

Maybe that's why I keep thinking about
him.

Fun fact.

In Finland, they make a fire. That's two
long logs sitting on top of each other

with a wedge of wood in between to let
the air flow through.

Uh -huh. Not your idea of fun, is it?

Mind if I grab a beer?

I'm not your father.

Hold on. This young man's underage.

So? So the laws of Texas are pretty
clear on the subject.

What a surprise. There's one more thing
you know more about than everybody else.

I don't know why you're surprised.

I know why you're here.

I'm just gonna stick with Dr. Pepper.

Why don't you get some more firewood,
Georgie?

Thank you.

I'm here because my friend George
invited me.

Uh -huh.

Well, your friend George invited you
because he felt sorry for you.

You know, Connie warned me you might
behave like this, and she was right.

I don't know why the hell she ever went
out with you.

Well, she did.

And we got along famously.

Until you broke up with her after you
got out of...

Out of what?

Say it.

Never mind.

Damn. Piddled on my shoe.

What a mess.

So enough about me. How about you?

You got your wings yet, or is that just
in the movies?

It's a wonderful life.

It's one of my favorites.

Ah, sorry, I didn't see you. I'll keep
it down.

Oh, it's all right. I talk to my wife
all the time.

I'm Kenneth.

This is Vanessa.

Connie. This is Charlie.

I'd introduce them, but they're
neighbors. They probably know each

Well, if he complains about someone
snoring, I'm sure it's her.

I didn't bury him with a tyranny, so
he's fine.

Well, you know what? I'll...

I'll come back in a few minutes and let
you finish your chat.

Really nice meeting you, Connie.

You too.

You see?

Gotta swat him away.

Okay. Each player alternates naming a
state while hula -hooping. The first

player who can't name a state or drops a
hula -hoop loses.

Ready?

Set.

Go.

Taxi! Darn it. So I won?

Yes.

Good, because I was just going to say
Texas again.

That was some good catfish.

Yeah, real good.

Gentlemen, I'm no longer enjoying this
outing, so I'm going home.

See ya.

Hang on, Dale. John, you can't just
leave.

We're in the middle of nowhere.

Not a problem.

I have my compass, a flashlight, and
half a bag of gort.

No, wait, wait, please. Let him go,
George.

You want to tell Connie you lost your
old boyfriend in the woods?

Well, he's a grown man for crying out
loud. Let him do what he wants.

Well, that's an argument for me having a
beer. Shut up. Come on, Dale. Do the

right thing.

Tell him to stay.

Fine.

John?

Oh, damn.

John!

Boy, for a little guy, he's fast, ain't
he?

You can't set it that way.

Does it say that on the rules?

Well, no.

And is this your signature?

Yes, but... Mom, we're going to Chuck E.
Cheese!

We're not going anywhere. It's almost
your bedtime.

Sorry, hon.

Well, all that matters is that I'm the
winner.

Yes, you are.

Actually, I was the winner.

We spent the whole day doing everything
I love.

Drafting contracts, arguing about rules,
and most importantly, never leaving the

house.

Come on.

I don't want to.

Just one more time.

Fine.

Rock, paper, scissors, candy, pony!

Rock, trips, pony.

I win.

How do you keep winning? You keep
picking pony.

Corp?