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The Bible says a lot about love. Love
thy neighbor, for God so loved the
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In 1 Corinthians it says, love is
patient, love is kind.
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But what does it mean to truly love
someone?
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You see, Jesus showed us that love means
always thinking about others. Why?
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Because I'm trying to unwrap a candy and
I don't want anybody to hear.
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He's talking
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about
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Robin. Who's Robin?
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Pastor Jeff's girlfriend.
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Mom set them up and now she thinks she's
cool.
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Shh.
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But I did set them up.
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Cool. So let's see what Jesus has to say
about that.
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Thanks
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for
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coming. Pastor Jeff, do chickens go to
heaven?
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Well, the Bible doesn't say much about
the souls of animals, but I like to
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believe that God loves all his
creatures.
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Why? My dad wants to eat Matilda.
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
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She stopped laying eggs, so it's off
with her head and into the fryer.
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Well, I will pray for her little chicken
soul.
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Just pray she's juicy.
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We have decided to get married.
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Oh, my gosh!
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Oh, my gosh.
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And we were hoping that you could help
us plan the wedding. Oh, my gosh.
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I did it again. I'm sorry.
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I would be honored.
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Just something small and simple.
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So when were you thinking? Spring?
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Summer? Next Sunday.
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Oh, that is soon.
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You're not.
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No. Because we haven't.
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You know. But we would like to. But we
can't because I'm a pastor. But we can
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once we're married. So Sunday it is.
Okay. Or maybe Saturday.
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Ooh, Saturday.
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Even better. I cannot wait.
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Me either.
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Still here.
42
00:03:09,930 --> 00:03:10,930
George.
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You will not believe what I get to do.
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What's that?
45
00:03:18,920 --> 00:03:22,360
Playing Pastor Jeff's web loop. Oh,
isn't that nice?
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It's going to be a lot of work. They
want this done by next weekend.
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Well, knock her up.
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In there.
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No, he is a man of God. He cannot have a
physical relationship outside holy
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matrimony. Oh, so that's the rush.
51
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Well, yes, but they also seem very much
in love.
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Love is great.
53
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Anyway, I am going to be extra busy, so
I'm going to need you to pick up the
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flag around here. You know, the kids,
making meals.
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Sounds good.
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Wait, what?
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I need you to help out.
58
00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:07,600
So Pastor Jeb wants to get lucky and I
pay the price?
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I am asking you to take care of your
children.
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And I'm asking you, why can't your
mother do it? George!
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Fine. That has to be the play of the
game, maybe even the season.
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And I can't believe what I just saw.
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Your dad can't eat Matilda.
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Sure he can. He eats everything.
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Billy, you raised her from a chick.
She's like your child.
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You wouldn't let somebody eat your
child.
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Does my child taste like chicken?
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Billy!
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Missy!
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Many inventions change people's lives
for the better. The light bulb, the
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vaccine, and one that doesn't get enough
credit, the home video cassette
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recorder.
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It didn't help keep people out of
wheelchairs, but it did keep me from
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Star Trek.
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Captain Block, Stardate 44307 .3.
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I'm preparing to leave by shuttlecraft.
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Georgie, why are there bathing suit
ladies where Captain Picard should be?
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Georgie!
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He's not home.
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What's going on?
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00:05:35,860 --> 00:05:38,040
Georgie taped over Star Trek The Next
Generation.
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So? Watch something else. I don't want
to watch something else. I want to watch
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Star Trek The Next Generation.
84
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And I want to feel bad for you, but I
don't.
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The television station's in Houston.
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00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:51,520
Drive me there. I'm sure they have a
copy of it. I'm not driving to Houston.
87
00:05:52,580 --> 00:05:54,860
Well, then I should warn you. I am very
unhappy.
88
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:58,900
Okay. In fact, I am peeved.
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Okay.
90
00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:07,380
I would slam this door right now, but it
would startle me, so just imagine I
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00:06:07,380 --> 00:06:08,380
did.
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00:06:11,460 --> 00:06:12,460
Okay.
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00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:17,700
I'm sorry Robin couldn't be here. She's
working extra shifts so she can take
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some time off after the wedding.
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For a honeymoon? How nice. Where are y
'all going?
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Oh, we don't really plan on leaving the
bedroom.
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Well, um, we have a lot to discuss.
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Reception, flowers, cake.
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Like I said, we're just looking for
something simple.
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Got it. Nothing fancy, just elegant.
101
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Right, but a plain bare bones elegance.
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How many guests were you thinking?
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It doesn't have to be big. I've been
married before.
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Well, Robin hasn't, and you're our
pastor. Your congregation is going to
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share in your special day.
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Those bones are sounding less bare.
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Sorry. Your small, elegant, bare -bones,
unforgettable, simple special day.
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Now let's talk centerpieces.
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00:07:05,790 --> 00:07:08,050
None of my friends had recorded the
episode.
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I called Tam.
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I called Dr. Sturgis.
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Those were all my friends.
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Fortunately, having a modem granted me
access to an even better kind of friend.
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The kind you don't have to see or talk
to.
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would you bring that packing poop
machine into our home? To save her life.
116
00:08:03,060 --> 00:08:03,959
about my life?
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She's not trying to kill you. Oh, yeah?
Then why was there hate in her eyes?
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That's how everybody looks at you.
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I got luck.
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00:08:11,460 --> 00:08:15,200
Dad, Missy put a chicken in my room. The
Sparks were going to kill her and eat
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her. What the hell's going on?
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How could you?
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What?
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I miss your mother.
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Would you look at these sugar flowers?
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I'm too busy looking at the price tag.
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Jesus Christ.
128
00:08:39,980 --> 00:08:44,140
Oh, you can't skimp on the cake. It's
the focal point of the entire wedding.
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00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:48,120
How about this? Get a bunch of ding
-dongs, stack them in the shape of a
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Everybody's happy.
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You do not want your wife to look back
at her wedding pictures and see a pile
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ding -dongs. I'm not sure she's going to
care.
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She don't care!
134
00:08:59,690 --> 00:09:02,630
But there are more affordable cakes here
that we can look at.
135
00:09:02,850 --> 00:09:06,310
Thank you. Maybe they have some stale
ones in the back that you can disappoint
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00:09:06,310 --> 00:09:07,310
your bride with.
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All right, here I am.
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What's the emergency?
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Sheldon's mad at Georgie because he
taped over a space show, but now he's
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in the garage because Missy brought home
Billy's chicken. And Missy's hiding in
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the bathroom because I brought home
fried chicken.
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Good luck.
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Come on, help me out.
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What are you doing to help? I called
your ass over here.
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Where's Mary?
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At church, planning Pastor Jeff's
wedding.
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And she left you in charge?
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Yeah. Well, that was dumb.
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Thank you. Okay, let's split up. You
want live chicken or dead chicken?
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Hey. Right in there.
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Hi. Hello.
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Hi.
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See ya.
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I'll take the chicken problems. Girl in
bedroom?
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All yours.
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00:10:10,380 --> 00:10:17,060
Would you like to try it on?
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Oh, no. I'm not here for me. Just
helping a friend.
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Oh, too bad.
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That dress would be stunning on you.
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Oh, I would look like a princess.
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What do you think? How handsome.
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I feel like I'm in the presence of James
Bond.
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Well, I don't have a license to kill,
but I do have a license to officiate
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funerals.
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00:10:38,750 --> 00:10:40,790
Should we pull some dresses for Robin?
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I suppose.
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00:10:42,350 --> 00:10:44,530
How about that? Oh, she'd hate that.
Keep looking.
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Come on and bring that bucket of chicken
out of there. No, we're not eating...
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00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:57,840
That one's from Kentucky.
170
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,020
They didn't know each other.
171
00:11:00,980 --> 00:11:03,780
George, why are you not in that bedroom?
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00:11:04,180 --> 00:11:06,260
Well, I'm just thinking of what to say.
173
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They're teenagers.
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If you wait any longer, they'll be done.
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I'm just going to grab a beer.
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George!
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Georgie?
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00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:20,740
What? That boy?
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Of course.
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00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:23,200
Really? What'd you say?
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You know, his stuff.
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The father says, and we had to talk with
the son.
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Good Lord.
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Did you tell him about protection?
185
00:11:32,940 --> 00:11:33,940
Oh, come on, Connie.
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00:11:34,180 --> 00:11:37,580
Well, it's important. What if he knocks
that poor girl up and ruins her life?
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Is that a swipe at me?
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00:11:39,420 --> 00:11:40,359
Well, it depends.
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Did you knock up my daughter and ruin
her life? Wait, I know the answer.
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00:11:45,620 --> 00:11:48,480
Hey, for your information, Mary is very
happy.
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The wedding's going to be perfect.
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Great.
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00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:02,350
Thank you.
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00:12:02,370 --> 00:12:06,490
She won't have to go down to City Hall
wearing the only thing that still fits
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00:12:06,490 --> 00:12:08,810
because she's trying to hide the fact
that she's pregnant.
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00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:10,450
Uh -huh.
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00:12:11,970 --> 00:12:14,410
She's going to get the wedding of her
dreams.
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If she cries on the dress, do I have to
buy it?
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00:12:21,130 --> 00:12:25,470
You know it takes two people to get
pregnant, right? I know that. Does
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Probably. We got cable now.
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00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:32,890
What? Is Matilda still in my closet?
202
00:12:33,330 --> 00:12:34,890
What? That's a yes.
203
00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:36,390
Ah!
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00:12:36,610 --> 00:12:37,950
The bathroom's flooding!
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00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:40,590
What happened?
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00:12:41,050 --> 00:12:43,290
I flushed the chicken leg and water
started going everywhere.
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Chickens were your job.
208
00:12:54,270 --> 00:12:55,610
Maybe you've been punished.
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00:12:55,950 --> 00:12:57,390
I'm a bad person.
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That went in my mouth.
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Stay back.
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00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,200
Calm down. We're taking her home.
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00:13:06,420 --> 00:13:07,420
To be murdered.
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00:13:08,240 --> 00:13:09,240
Okay, have fun.
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00:13:11,040 --> 00:13:12,300
Can y 'all keep it down?
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00:13:12,600 --> 00:13:14,480
I have a bone to pick with you, sir.
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00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:15,879
What'd I do?
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00:13:15,880 --> 00:13:17,540
You taped over my Star Trek episode.
219
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,120
So?
220
00:13:19,620 --> 00:13:23,860
So now I may never get to see it. What
if it was a two -parter? I can't start a
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00:13:23,860 --> 00:13:25,580
two -parter on part two. That's madness.
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00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:27,500
I think I'm gonna go.
223
00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,580
Okay. Hola, señorita.
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00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,340
She's in my Spanish class.
225
00:13:33,360 --> 00:13:34,360
I'll call you later.
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00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:36,660
Te veo mañana en la clase de español.
227
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:42,280
What? That means see you tomorrow in
Spanish class. I was going to ask how
228
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:45,160
thought you did on Friday's quiz, but
I'm guessing the answer is no bueno.
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00:13:47,540 --> 00:13:48,540
Adios.
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00:13:50,060 --> 00:13:51,060
What?
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00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:55,160
I'm sorry.
232
00:13:55,790 --> 00:13:58,870
This is your wedding, and I'm making it
all about me.
233
00:13:59,090 --> 00:14:01,050
No. I mean, you are, but it's fine.
234
00:14:01,270 --> 00:14:06,690
It's just every bride dreams of walking
down the aisle, and I never got to have
235
00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:08,110
that. Still on you.
236
00:14:08,410 --> 00:14:09,410
Okay.
237
00:14:09,790 --> 00:14:11,270
I'm sorry. I'll stop.
238
00:14:11,730 --> 00:14:14,650
Hey, even though I'm looking fly, I'm
still your pastor.
239
00:14:15,430 --> 00:14:18,710
Well, it's more than the wedding.
240
00:14:20,150 --> 00:14:22,750
Overnight, I became a wife and a mother.
241
00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,380
I feel like I missed out on a lot.
242
00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,520
Well, sometimes the Lord has his own
plans for us.
243
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,180
And if it helps, Robin and I always talk
about how much we admire you and your
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00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:33,180
family.
245
00:14:33,360 --> 00:14:36,460
Really? Your marriage may have gotten
off to a rough start.
246
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:40,360
But if that's what it took to get where
you are, maybe God knew what he was
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00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:41,360
doing.
248
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,560
You know what?
249
00:14:44,780 --> 00:14:46,680
Let's get back to planning your wedding.
250
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,480
Oh, no. You're done. You may be a great
wife and mother, but you stink at this.
251
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000
That's fair.
252
00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:55,860
Do I have to?
253
00:14:56,080 --> 00:14:58,180
You want to add grandkids to this mess?
254
00:14:58,580 --> 00:14:59,580
God, no.
255
00:14:59,840 --> 00:15:00,840
Georgie, we need to talk.
256
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:03,740
What now?
257
00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:11,060
You're of an age where your body has
urges.
258
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:12,840
Oh, my God.
259
00:15:13,460 --> 00:15:15,900
Georgie, you need to hear this. From
both of you?
260
00:15:16,360 --> 00:15:18,000
Who do you want to hear it from?
261
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:20,240
No one.
262
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,100
If I got to pick, I guess you.
263
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:23,579
Good choice.
264
00:15:23,580 --> 00:15:25,560
Don't forget to tell him about venereal
disease.
265
00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:31,360
This next part's so great.
266
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,740
What's going on here?
267
00:15:46,260 --> 00:15:49,740
Wesley Crusher was just accepted into
Starfleet Academy, and for his final
268
00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:53,340
mission, he's accompanying Picard on a
shuttle mission to Pentaurus V.
269
00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:56,720
No, I mean, who's your friend?
270
00:15:57,260 --> 00:15:59,080
Oh, he's not a friend. He's a stranger.
271
00:15:59,420 --> 00:16:03,200
I met him on a Star Trek bulletin board.
He had a copy of the episode Georgie
272
00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:04,220
taped over and brought it here.
273
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:06,820
Hello. I'm Nathan.
274
00:16:08,720 --> 00:16:10,340
I'm going to have to ask you to leave.
275
00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:12,520
Nathan.
276
00:16:13,120 --> 00:16:15,260
Okay, but I'm taking my tape with me.
277
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,380
That's fine. No, I need to see the end.
No, you don't.
278
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,400
Does anyone read us?
279
00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:26,220
And I know your mama want me to tell you
to wait till marriage, but I also know
280
00:16:26,220 --> 00:16:28,060
you're probably not going to.
281
00:16:28,940 --> 00:16:29,940
Did you?
282
00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:37,960
The important thing is that when you're
with a girl... You know how we were
283
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:42,480
running practice drills and we wear
protection so both people are safe?
284
00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,830
Yeah. Well, there you go.
285
00:16:47,710 --> 00:16:48,710
What?
286
00:16:49,310 --> 00:16:51,550
Same thing, but with your privates.
287
00:16:51,950 --> 00:16:52,950
Please leave.
288
00:16:52,970 --> 00:16:53,970
Thank you.
289
00:16:55,710 --> 00:16:58,530
Wesley, you will be missed.
290
00:17:01,710 --> 00:17:03,170
That was excellent.
291
00:17:03,630 --> 00:17:06,030
Yeah, top notch. Get out.
292
00:17:06,630 --> 00:17:09,970
Yeah, I think I've turned out pretty.
Who the hell is this?
293
00:17:10,329 --> 00:17:13,930
This is Nathan. He's been to four Comic
-Cons. And he's leaving.
294
00:17:14,410 --> 00:17:15,108
Are you sure?
295
00:17:15,109 --> 00:17:17,349
Beam your ass out of here.
296
00:17:18,609 --> 00:17:19,609
Yes, ma 'am.
297
00:17:22,030 --> 00:17:23,030
Want to beam up?
298
00:17:23,849 --> 00:17:24,849
Energize.
299
00:17:27,630 --> 00:17:30,910
Okay, that last part didn't happen. But
boy, would that have been neat.
300
00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:32,410
That was neat.
301
00:17:34,930 --> 00:17:35,930
We're done with pig.
302
00:17:43,580 --> 00:17:44,580
Energize.
303
00:17:46,660 --> 00:17:47,980
I miss him already.
304
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:56,900
Robin and Jeffrey, by their solemn vows,
freely made before God.
305
00:17:57,320 --> 00:18:02,360
Pastor Jeff and Officer Robin finally
had their ceremony, which was nice for
306
00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:06,920
them, but meant I had to go to church on
a Saturday and watch old people kiss.
307
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,520
You may kiss the bride.
308
00:18:37,040 --> 00:18:39,900
A little less conversation, a little
more action.
309
00:18:41,300 --> 00:18:45,780
All this aggravation ain't satisfaction
in me. No tone, no tone.
310
00:18:46,040 --> 00:18:47,260
Well, there it is.
311
00:18:48,940 --> 00:18:54,180
Where are they going in such a hurry?
312
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,440
Probably to unwrap their presents.
313
00:18:58,920 --> 00:19:00,160
Nothing's getting unwrapped.
314
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:01,500
Told you.
23566
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