All language subtitles for young_sheldon_s03e10_teenager_soup

previously on Young Sheldon. I saw
Connie for the first time since I broke

with her, and it's making me wonder if
she also is feeling lonely, and I made a

bad decision for both of us. I hate to
be the one to tell you this, John, but

she's kind of been seeing someone new.
She seems to be doing okay.

I hope he gets lost at sea and never
returns.

I'm having a lot of feelings.

Hey. Connie.

I thought I'd just, uh, say hi.

Would it be awkward if I asked you to
join us?

Oh, couldn't be any more awkward.

In many ways, a high school is like an
academic house of horrors.

There's the cafeteria, which, when even
freshly cleaned, maintains a subtle

aroma of tater tots and throw -up.

The schoolyard, where one is exposed to
bullying by delinquents and attacks from

above by eye -pecking demons.

But all of these pale in comparison to
the most horrific location of all. A

place teeming with the sweat and
secretions from hundreds of unwashed

The swimming pool.

Sorry, Sheldon. Water safety is a
required part of your P .E. class.

But other kids use that pool. It's
basically a big bowl of teenager soup.

It's out of my hands. It's a state
requirement.

If you don't like it...

Take it up with your congressman.

I did. He won't return my call.

Then I guess you're swimming tomorrow.

Except for the laughter, the glowing
eyes, and the lightning, that's exactly

it happened.

Yesterday I moved a mountain.

I did not to be your hero. I am a mighty
little man.

I am a mighty little man.

I'm a little nervous. You're the first
ex -girlfriend I've ever been friends

with. And you're also my first ex
-girlfriend. And that's because you...

about you just think of me as your
friend?

Okay, yes, that's good.

So, I understand you're seeing someone
new.

Tell me everything.

No. I assume that as friends we could
tell each other about our personal

Trust me, John, you don't want to hear
about these things.

Actually, I do.

Your happiness is very important to me.

What the hell?

His name is Dale.

He owns a sporting goods store, and
we've only been out a few times. But so

so good.

Well, that sounds wonderful. Good for
you.

Thank you.

Now, would you like to hear about the
women I'm dating?

You're dating other women?

Heavens, no.

Come on, Jesus. This is for your
birthday. Help me out.

Boy, Sheldon is really worked up about
this whole swimming thing.

Don't you think he should learn for his
own safety?

You really think he's ever going to go
near a body of water?

Yeah, it's only a matter of time before
someone throws him in one.

Well, break it to him gently.

Me?

Swimming's a sport, and you're a sports
person.

And he's a mama's boy, and you're his
mama.

How about we do it together?

Fine, but you can't hang me out to dry.

Of course not.

We're a team.

We're in this together, right? You bet.

She's going to hang me out to dry.

Observation is an important part of the
scientific method.

Darwin observed the finches.

Jane Goodall observed the chimpanzees.
And for some reason, Dr. Sturgis wanted

to observe my Meemaw's new suitor.

Excuse me.

Howdy. Can I help you? No, no. Just
browsing.

So any particular sport you might need
that for?

Depends. What the heck is it?

It's a cup.

A cup?

What kind of a cup has holes in it?

Well, it protects your private parts.

Oh.

Well, I can see how that might be
useful.

Well, this has been very informative.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

If you have any more questions, you let
me know. I certainly will.

All right.

Georgie, I want you to keep an eye on
that weirdo over there.

I know that weirdo.

He used to date my Meemaw.

That guy?

Yeah. He's, like, super smart.

I'm not sure I believe you.

Hey, Dr. Sargis.

Hello!

Wait. Uh -oh.

Hello? I may have made a questionable
decision regarding our friendship.

What have you done, John?

I went to the sporting goods store to
check out your new fella.

Did you speak to him?

Oh, yes. In fact, he sold me an athletic
supporter to protect my genitals.

Good. You may want to be wearing that
next time I see you.

Okay.

Shelly, can you turn the TV off for a
second?

But after this commercial break,
Professor Proton is going to use a

suck a hard -boiled egg into a milk
bottle. We'll make it quick.

Go ahead.

Your mother has something to tell you.

Your mother wants you to swim.

George. Mom!

Who's ready to suck egg?

That was the lamest tantrum I've ever
seen.

I'm being forced to swim tomorrow in P
.E.

Poor baby. You have to play in a pool
instead of sit in a classroom.

A pool of sweat, germs, and dead skin
cells.

Still better than learning.

Maybe it's time for me to run away from
home and join a traveling math club.

Just pretend to be sick.

That would be lying.

I'm not a liar.

Well, you better be a swimmer.

Or a drowner.

Ugh. Why don't you like me?

You're full of bacteria.

So are you.

But you don't hear me saying, ugh, it's
rude.

Look, I may just be pool water, but I
still have feelings.

Sorry, water.

Come on. My pH level is 7 .4, and with
three parts per million of chlorine, I'm

cleaner than your daddy's plate after
Thanksgiving dinner.

Wow, that's pretty clean.

Look how clear I am, Sheldon.

You can see all the way to the bottom.

Closer.

A little closer.

A little closer.

Gotcha!

Pull monster!

I don't feel well.

What's wrong, baby?

I don't know. I just feel awful.

Well, there is something going around.
Billy Spark's got some kind of bug.

That is consistent with what I said.

Good.

You're staying home today. I'll go make
you some tea.

Welcome to the dark side.

Mom says you're sick.

Really? Why? You love school.

Swim test.

Oh, sure. You would die.

If you're going to do this, let me give
you some pointers.

You've done this before?

Tell him.

Oh, he's the master. He coached me
through my last two... I slipped on the

during those.

I know.

First of all, you've got to cough even
when Mom's not in the room.

Got it.

And don't put the thermometer in the
tea.

114 fever is a giveaway.

Smart. Told ya. Oh, don't be afraid to
let her look in your throat. She's

checking to see if it's red. But it's
always red.

You are good.

Here, try spitting up a little phlegm.

We got work to do.

I'm sure he'll feel better tomorrow. And
you can send any homework that he needs

to do with his brother.

Thank you.

Doesn't this all seem a little
convenient?

You think he's faking it?

Today's a swim test. It's pretty
suspicious.

Jonas pops up something gross in a
tissue.

See? And that's why he's staying home.

Mary, come on.

No, I'm not changing my mind. My little
boy's not alone.

Connie Tucker?

Yeah? Here you go.

Thank you. You're welcome.

I overstepped the bounds of friendship.

Sorry, John.

Hello? So why the hell would your ex
-boyfriend send me a giant cookie?

You don't have a temperature. That's
good. You want to get comfy on the couch

and watch your Star Trek tapes?

No, thank you.

I know what'll make you feel better.

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of
fur.

Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr,
purr.

Soft liar, warm liar, little ball of
fur. Fib.

Happy liar.

Sleepy liar.

Fib. Fib. Fib.

Feel better?

Uh -uh.

Really? Cooper's out thick?

What a baby.

Really? Cooper's out thick? Oh, baby!

Hallelujah! Happy birthday to me.

Shelly, I'm going to run to the grocery
store real quick so I can make you some

soup. Okay.

I had lied to my mother and gotten away
with it. The guilt was more than I could

take.

I had to make this right.

I could confess and break my mother's
heart, or I could turn my lie into the

truth and actually get myself sick.

Hi, Sheldon.

Hello, Billy. I hear you're not feeling
well.

I'm not. I have a cold.

That's too bad.

Put her there.

Why? Shake my hand, Billy.

But my mom says that's how germs get
spread.

I know.

You do? When did you talk to my mom?

Is that for your patient?

Yes. He's still under the weather.

Oh, that's too bad.

Running a fever?

No. Sniffly nose?

No. But he couldn't even bring himself
to watch his Star Trek show.

Oh, dear. I better go call an ambulance.

You're not funny.

He ain't sick.

Here? Here.

Now, don't fill up on those. We've still
got two giant cookies to finish.

I'm sorry about all that stuff with
John.

He means well, but sometimes he can just
be a little quirky.

Yeah, I kind of figured that. Yeah, I
watched him play ping -pong with his own

crotch. I don't know what that is, but
I'm sure he did it.

Well, I mean, how'd you meet this guy?
Did you try to steal his pot of gold at

the end of the rainbow?

Okay, okay. He's a very sweet man.

Well, I bet he is.

If you must know, he's Sheldon's college
professor.

Smart, short, and weird.

That's a whole package right there.

Okay, that's enough.

Well, I gotta ask.

Do you feel like you're dating a
supermodel right now?

You didn't touch your soup, baby.

I'm not hungry.

You aren't feeling any better?

Well, it'll be in the fridge if you
change your mind.

Young man.

Yes, you.

Pretending to be sick. You should be
ashamed of yourself.

But I was afraid to go in the pool.

You are in a pool. A pool of your own
deceit.

If my mother were alive, I'd never lie
to her.

And I'd always eat her soup.

My grandson's trying to steal home, and
he trips and he falls and lands face

first on the plate, lost the tooth. We
won the game.

Get this.

He finds a tooth two days later when he
goes to the bathroom.

That's it?

You don't understand.

He found the tooth. I got it.

What's going on? You okay?

Actually, no.

I don't like the way you've been talking
about John.

I was kidding around.

Well, it bothered me.

Wait a minute. Hold on.

Your weirdo ex comes sneaking around,
checking me out, and all of a sudden I'm

the bad guy here? You don't get to call
him a weirdo.

You don't think he's a weirdo? Of course
he's a weirdo. You just can't say it.

Oh. I didn't think it was that big a
deal. Well, it is.

He and I are friends. And if you don't
stop making fun of him, you and I are

going to have a problem.

Are you saying that I'm being naughty
and you're threatening to punish me?

Because I might like that.

Uh -huh.

See, you're trying to be mad at me and
you can't.

Now you are getting punished.

Check, please.

Mom. Oh, baby, what are you doing out of
bed?

I don't need to be in bed.

I'm not sick.

What? I lied to you so that I wouldn't
have to take the swim test.

You lied?

I feel terrible about it.

You should feel terrible. I trusted you.

I'm sorry.

It's just that I was so afraid to get in
that pool, so I let Georgie and Missy

teach me how to fake it. They said it
was easy, but it wasn't. It really

Georgie and Missy taught you how to do
this? I cannot tell a lie. They sure

Okay, calm down.

Now, you listen to me. You shouldn't
have lied. It's always wrong.

But you made up for it by telling me the
truth.

So you forgive me?

I do, but I need you to do me a favor.

As far as your father is concerned, you
were sick.

Isn't that lying?

Honestly, no.

The following day, I returned to school.
I had no choice but to fulfill my

swimming requirements.

Much like Batman, I suited up and faced
my fears.

Unlike Batman, I did it with a doggy
paddle across the shallow end of the

Regarding pool sanitation, it turned out
I was right. It was teeming with germs.

Only I was the one who put them there.

As it happens, my interaction with Billy
Sparks did get me sick.

I, in turn, created a small epidemic,
taking down 128 students.

Four teachers.

And one principal. It didn't stop there.
I also infected my mother.

Father. Sister. Brother.

Meemaw. And Meemaw's friend, Dale.

The newly established boundaries of
friendship help keep Dr. Sturges

However, in an unrelated incident, he
crashed his bike into some garbage cans.

Luckily, he landed on his recently
acquired athletic cup.

That was a wise purchase.