All language subtitles for we_interrupt_this_broadcast_s01e08

Yeah, so we found these in Grandad's
roll top. They've been in the family for

years, and we're not really sure, but I
think that these might actually be

Captain Cook's last letters to his wife
before he died.

Astonishing.

Now, if these are indeed the genuine
article, we may be looking at the most

important find in colonial Australian
history right here. Now, excuse me.

Didn't really have time for lunch, so
you don't mind, do you?

These have been rumoured to be in
existence for a long time.

But are they genuine?

Well, the paper is indeed 18th century
stock.

So that checks out.

Here's the rub.

Cook was rumoured to use a different
coloured ink to that of his official

dispatchers when communicating with his
wife.

And as you can see here, differently.

I think we have the genuine article with
us here today.

Wow, that's very exciting.

Oh, gloves.

Oh, yeah, sorry.

Sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

It's important to know how to stay under
the drinking limit.

For men, it's two drinks in the first
hour, unless you're really, really fat,

which case, basically have at it.

G'day, mate.

Hello. Do you know why I've pulled you
over today?

Uh, no, actually.

Couldn't help but notice your stickers
there, your stick figure family on the

back. It's just a bit of fun, you know.
It's a bit of fun, yeah. What's the

point in it? I see it all the time. I'm
like, what's that for? Just to signal to

everyone you've got a family.

I can.

Yeah. Yeah, right.

Really, you know. Yeah, don't read it.
Really.

Signalling.

It is good fun, isn't it?

It would not be good fun if you had some
way of, like, signalling, I don't know,

that you're about to change lanes, mate.

Sorry, what do you mean?

Oh, hang on a sec. Oh, just, oh, sorry.
Hang on a sec. I just.

Wow. Wow.

That's my Subaru.

Yeah. There was a way to change it,
wasn't it? There was a way to go, oh,

changing lanes.

Could have signalled with this, couldn't
you?

Stick it up your ass, mate.

I'm walking up to the judges and I'm
really nervous and I'm hoping they're

to like my ice cream.

The pressure is really on for Julie.

She knows she has to get this ice cream
perfect.

Even for us judges, this is the toughest
part. The long, slow wait.

It really builds tension.

Boom, boom, boom.

My heart is just thumping with
anticipation.

I hope my thumbs up helped her. It was a
nerve -wracking walk to the judges.

Um, I think you already did me.

Presenting my vanilla raspberry ice
cream with balsamic berry compote.

It's melted.

We did too many interviews this time,
didn't we?

Seemed to do that a lot.

There really is no greater joy than
making your own clothes.

Damien has been making his own shirts
for years.

Many people think making clothes is too
hard, but to make a poncho, all you have

to do is cut a hole in some material.

And if you can cut one hole, you can cut
two holes, assuming you still have a

basic level of hand strength.

And that's all it takes to make today's
project a reverse poncho.

Now, a poncho is great while I'm
standing up.

Because the material falls down my body,
keeping it warm.

But what about when I'm doing a
handstand?

Now, if I put this on my head, it looks
like I'm a big Scottish ghost.

Oh, no, you mustn't. You'll be cursed.

No.

But it doesn't go up there.

Those holes are for my legs. And if I
slip my legs through them and do a

handstand, my body will remain toasty
warm.

So there you have it.

The reverse poncho, or the upside -down
person's moo -moo. It's not perfect, but

it's the best thing that we've got until
someone invents an item of clothing

that covers you no matter what your
orientation.

Oh, sorry.

So I've officially lost track of which
one is which. And I thought if I could

hand out presents, then I'd be able to
tell who's who.

I have a present for Ken... Kendall?

I don't know how to pronounce that. It's
Kendall.

Oh, I can't. Kendall. Yeah, like, hey?

Um, I have a special gift for Chloe.

My face.

I'm not even sure if they know anymore.

I thought I was Chloe.

Oh. You could be Chloe.

Merry Christmas, sweetie.

Thank you.

Who's Rob?

Rob. Rob.

Rob.

Rob.

Rob. Rob.

Rob.

Robert Kardashian, our dad.

Yeah, he's dead. He died.

Yeah, he's dead.

Oh my gosh, you guys.

I was like so sad. A long time ago. I
was at my sweet 16th. Oh, okay.

Merry Christmas.

What's my biggest advantage?

Well, I found a way to dominate the
social game.

See, I've got a particular set of skills
that draw people to me, make them like

me, but also put them off guard.

Hang on.

What's this?

Found this behind your ear.

Yes, I am a magician, and, uh, you know,
when Michael the Mysterious is around,

things aren't always as they seem.

And the first person...

To be voted out unanimously is Michael.

Oh.

It's time to leave.

Mistake per chance?

No. Even I voted for you. That's how
much you suck.

Why don't you have a look at that piece
of papyrus again, my friend?

No. No.

Where did it go?

Nobody likes you. I don't like you. The
crew all hate you.

I beg to differ.

She's hot.

Oh, God.

Back

at

Triple Zero HQ, Operator Graham is in
the middle of a tense call.

Okay, please.

Listen to me, all right? We're going to
get through this together. The important

thing is that you do not panic.

Don't panic.

Now, are they still in the house?

Okay. All right. We've established that
your keys are still somewhere in the

house. Have you checked your handbag,
Mum?

All right, see you, Mum. Hey, I'll see
you on Sunday. Yeah, for John's thing.

Okay, love you.

Sorry to keep you holding.

So can you describe the crocodile that
is currently eating you?

Hello?

And what is it that you have brought
with you today?

Okay, so this is summer greens with
pickled grapes and radish, micro shiso

lemon myrtle emulsion. Ah, well, this is
interesting.

It's not something that we see often
here on the program. And that is because

here are from the Antiques Roadshow.
Whereas I believe you have mistaken us

MasterChef. Yes, yes.

I don't smoke while we're here, if you
want to... No, no interest whatsoever on

that. Unless, of course, the plate
itself could be an antique, in which

could be... You can see now it isn't
just a plate.

Oh, well, good luck on the rest of your
MasterChef journey.

Thank you.

Next. Brickman, I've completed the
pirate ship challenge. No!

Walk away.

It's... another stressful day at the
Royal Prince Albert Hospital,

with all the camera crews blocking the
corridor.

And Dr Mum, the mum doctor, is fed up
with this nonsense.

Okay, simmer down, Took. What's the
problem here? It's all time, is it?

Have you had enough to eat?

Look at you, skinny as a rake. My
goodness.

Nurse, can you please prepare 2 ,000
cc's of beef stroganoff? Thank you.

What? Pardon,

isn't it, darling?

Oh, thanks so much.

Always beeping and booping your
generation.

The patient is unconscious, Dr Mum.

Oh, throw up.

For goodness sake.

Welcome back to Small Death, big boys.

We were just having a bit of a bark
there.

Sorry, I'm just... I'm getting word from
my producers there's some breaking

news. They want me to... Read out some
breaking news. Sorry, I've got my

out here.

Apparently, NASA has just confirmed that
an asteroid is going to hit the Earth

in the next hour. Jeez.

What in the world? Apparently,

the entire planet's going to be
destroyed.

Tra -la -la -la -la -la -la.

Daddy's sweetie boy is here.

Hold off, Grogan. We're not going to do
the sweetie boy bit. Apparently, the

whole planet's going to be destroyed.

What do you mean? Well, I mean that it's
over. Our entire existence, everything

we've ever loved and achieved, it's
gone.

That's a bugger.

Righto, we've got to crack on with the
show anyway. So, like, obviously this is

a bit of bad news, but, you know, before
we pop off, let's flip around and see

some final thoughts. Budsy, what do you
reckon?

Um, uh... Good innings.

Well played.

Yeah, right, right, I suppose. Yeah,
school doesn't reflect... Again.

I just want to say, I love you all.

In the words of Maya Angelou, family
isn't always blood, and I don't want to

face this with fear in my heart, but
true and pure love.

Fogo's gold, sir!

Let's hit it with Pog! Yeah!

Come on, get in!

Oh, stick around.

We've got a bit of time before the world
ends. After the break, we're going to

have John Chubby Stevens and a couple of
pink Greeks. Come on! Come on, get it!

I'm over bad boys.

They just don't interest me anymore. I
just want someone sweet.

You know, I just want a sweet guy.

Just a sweetheart, that's all.

Daddy's little sweetie boy's here with a
sweetie for my sweetie.

Oh, well, more yummy lolly for Daddy's
little sweetie boy.

Yummy, yummy.

I should go, shouldn't I?

Well,

it's

the end of week one.

And I'm imagining there's some few tired
limbs here on the block.

And obviously the first week kick
-starts a 26 -week marathon of gruelling

yakka. Now, this season of the block...

We welcome our first ever Amish couple.

Now, how was your first week on the
block, folks?

Brother Scotty, we are done.

Done unwrapping your tools? I mean,
we've just got started on the bathroom

reveal week.

Dear overpaid tradesperson, our suburban
barn is complete.

Complete? You're better off leaving the
jokes to me there, young lady. The lady

spaketh not lies, Brother Scotty.

Whilst the others did squabble and rant
and do their master interviews, my fair

lady and I did toil in the glory of the
Lord.

So when they started a week ago?

Regrettably, it took longer than we
expected.

And how were you able to use some of the
sponsor's products?

We used not but the hands the Lord
gifted us.

So you weren't able to use the Mitre 10
vouchers?

No, no.

No, we didn't. Well, I'm awfully sorry,
but that does mean you're eliminated.

You, Scott Cam.

Oh, yourself, Scotty Cam.

Scott Cam, you and your tiny little hole
eyes.

We'll be back after the break.

Oh dear.

Oh dear.

Oi, do we have like a fantastic deal for
these guys or what, Jase? This is like,

I should never be telling them about it.
It's such a good deal.

Yeah, man. It's like full surround sound
system, brother. It's even got most of

its cords. This represents the pinnacle
of technology today.

These sounds coming out of this system
will electrify your ears and also your

heart. Yeah, it's got most of its cords.

60 bucks. 60 bucks, man. It was just
like a missed delivery because...

My cousin, he found out about it because
he worked fitting out to fit out to the

shopping center and they found it.

Yeah, it's like his cousin's like a full
electrics guy and it's like absolutely

just no one showed up for the delivery.
So it's like, it's full above board,

man. Just 60 bucks.

Just kiss it. Give us it. Give us it.
Give us it. Kiss it. Kiss it.

Give us it. Kiss it. Give us it.

60 bucks.

60.

It is not complicated, Hightower. If
those in House Crane continue to wish to

fight in the marshes, then they are
going to have to attack through dawn.

that is going to anger the, um... The,
uh... Nerd!

Oh!

Oh, my God.

It's a nerd.

I thought they were legend.

My newest advisor has knowledge both
great and terrible.

They have read all of the books,
including all of the spin -off ones that

has heard of. Too close. Impossible. No
mortal has such a thirst for fantasy.

Well, let me think about that. Nerd, we
were just speaking of Dawn.

Now tell us, who do they pledge
allegiance to?

Believe Lord of Dawn, a house Martel,
and their sigil words are unbent,

and unbroken. So they owe their
allegiance to nobody in Westeros. Thank

much, nerd. That's terrific.

He knows trivia.

Nothing of the politics of the realm.

I don't hide our plans to dethrone
Rhaenyra Targaryen in favor of your son.

too close again, thank you, but that's
useful information.

Mere rumors, I assure you, my lord.

Actually, the evidence on Reddit is
pretty irrepeatable, Your Majesty.

Sire, I tire of this nerd.

He smells weird.

Like a phantom.

Well, at least I'm not going to get
eaten by a dragon next week.

Oh!

Spoiler! Spoiler! Did you just say that
out loud? It's a spoiler alert!

Not cool!

Just get out of here!

No, no, no, no, no! Back to the shadows
with you nerds! No!

What up, dog?

Oh.

Hi,

I'm Sophie. It's my first day.

Oh, my God.

What are you wearing?

The school uniform.

A what? I don't know this one.

I think school uniforms are pretty
standard in Australian schools.

Where was your last school?

Prison?

Hey, rack off and leave her alone.

Yeah, don't worry, babe. We've got your
back. Just go to the vintage clothes

office. The vintage clothes office?

It's where we get all our threads.

You just walk down the hall past the
sickbay.

Past the fully sickbay.

Keep going, then you hit the riddle and
vending machine.

And then just left at the school
astrologist's office.

And keep going until you reach the
stairs near the vape station.

And then at the top of the stairs,
you'll find the personal brand advisor.

Okay, maybe I should just, um, maybe I
should just find the school office?

I have no idea what that is.

When the RBT cops find liquor in a car,
they confiscate it and have a cheeky

after -work drink on the median strip.

But first, they've got breathalysing to
do.

May I ask where you've been tonight,
sir?

Oh, yeah, just out at a restaurant.

Just have one glass of wine. Great, no
worries. I'll just get you to breathe in

that one. Yep, not a problem.

That's great, thanks.

Everything all right, I think?

Yeah, mate. Do you have a bit of garlic
for dinner?

Yeah, the restaurant was Italian, so...
Yeah. All right. Yep.

We're going to need some mint.

All right.

You won't respond to threats. How about
food? What do you want to eat?

I want my lawyer.

I'm not going to let you eat a lawyer.

You're in enough trouble as it is. I'm
not going to eat a lawyer. I want my

lawyer present.

All right, here's your lawyer present.

It's a new wig. She'll love it. Give me
my call.

What was that?

Warbling wood thrush. Oh, I thought that
sounded like... Pterodactyl.

Yeah, I'm going to confuse it.

All right, I confess.

Oldest trick in the book. Good cop,
pterodactyl cop.

Well, a very controversial poem there.

Sincere apologies to any dog owners who
were offended, especially by that last

verse. Yeah.

Now let's go to a press conference now
where halfback Paddy Jones is addressing

the recent allegations against him.

I would like to own up to the fact that
it was me who was caught in the

accessible toilet with three models.

I will admit that.

Afterwards, I relieved myself on a
patron.

and declared myself to be the fountain
of youth. And I would like to say that

behalf of me and the club and the sport,
I would just like to say that it was

the best weekend I have ever had.

Like, seriously.

My bucket list stuff popped here. It was
actually sick.

People of...

I am the supervillain, Dr.

Armageddon.

My demands are simple.

We need to fix the password situation.

Every time you try to log on for
something, you type in your password,

it doesn't work, and you go, oh, I...
Maybe I have to put one at the end of

And then you try that. You're trying
different combinations with capital

and characters.

And then you're like, fine. I have to
just reset the password, I guess. I'm

constantly resetting passwords.

That's all I do all day long. And you
reset the password. But then you write

like, sexydoctor007 for the new
password.

And then it goes, that's already a
password. And it's like, but I already

sexydoctor007. And it didn't work.

Also, don't.

Write down that my password is
sexydoctor007.

That's not it. Anyway, that's just an
example.

Tonight

on

60 Seconds, the doctor who's Australia's
newest Nobel Prize winner.

How did you get into medicine?

Ah, well, actually, it's quite a long
story. Well, we don't have time for

Give us key words.

Child. Fishing accident.

Father.

Dad. Just say dad.

Dad.

Well, don't say it again.

Can I ask you one last question?

Of course. That was it.

Don't take my hand, just wave.

At RPA, Dr Mum, the mum doctor, doesn't
want to interfere.

But she just can't help herself.

Hello, possum. Sorry I'm late. It's a
bloody madhouse out here today.

Looks like the patient may be single.

How is that?

Hey, which doesn't make any sense
because she's so pretty and so lovely.

her mum.

But my fainting has gotten worse and the
migraines have just gotten really

unbearable. All right, what I'm going to
do is I'm going to refer you to my

friend Liz.

Okay, now Liz, she's got a nephew. He is
gorgeous. He's single. He's a lawyer.

So I'll send you along to him. Okay,
now, Nerf, can you make sure she does

follow up with me? Let me know how that
goes. You just keep me updated. And what

a text I'll do, bloody kill ya.

Okay, pet, I'm off to make a pun.

Um, but is it still incurable?

Yeah.

Tonight.

Underbelly Delivery Wars concludes the
most exciting installment of television

you've ever seen.

Like, ever.

As the find -a -feed crew take action
against one of their own.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't two -timing Tommy gracing us
with his presence.

See you in your true colours, too.

At least it isn't pink.

It's not.

Pink, you idiot. It's Usher. Battle
lines are drawn.

Say hello to my little Freon.

And it's a fight to the finish.

The overhyped conclusion to television's
tastiest drama.

Underbelly Delivery Wars.

You can't ask that.

where viewers ask provocative questions
to Australians from underrepresented

groups, but all the good ones have been
done.

Bad Impressionists.

Wipe it from your mind.

We can do it, we can do it, we can do
it. Are you happy to answer questions

us now?

You're excited?

Yep.

You can't handle the troll.

I don't have one.

She's having.

But him.

I feel the same.

Jack Nicholson. Don't. Never let go,
Jack.

Yeah. I just was rolling off that. Never
let go, Jack. Do you do any other Jack

Nicholson's? Daddy's Angry from The
Shining.

Yes. Daddy's Angry from The Shining.

All work and Daddy's Angry. I want you
to draw me like one of your French

That's a great Jack. That's Jack
Nicholson from Titanic. I don't think

He won an Academy Award. He won an
Academy Award.

This is old Prime Minister's home for
four -year -olds.

OK, teams, let's see how you're going
with your paddle pop dick. The

Tower. Kevin, Julia?

I was constructing a robust tower and
Julia smashed it.

What I did, I did reluctantly and for
the good of the team.

Okay. Let's see how Henrietta and Scott
are going.

Well, Henrietta and I really gave it a
go and I think you'll be impressed.

I actually did everything.

Well, I just don't accept that.

You didn't even open your pocket. I'm
not interested in that.

Malcolm, Tony, I see that you also
haven't built anything.

Well, Tony ate them.

Tony, you're not supposed to eat the
marshmallows. No.

He ate the paddle pop sticks.

Tony. Tony. I,

of course, know us human beings can't
eat wood. I'm a normal man.

Fortunately, I was able to purchase this
glorious construction at a very

reasonable consideration. But you can't
spend money on completing this task.

Can't spend money? I'm sorry, I can't
understand what you're saying.

What I'm saying is that you can... Tony!

Tony, for heaven's sake.

What? Not in front of the kids, Tony.
Not in front of the children, Tony.

While others relax, the lifeguards have
to be ready to go at a moment's notice.

Don't worry, man. We'll get it back for
you. Here, stay calm.

Okay. Let's go, go, go!

Is that one?

Is it? Oh, no. Is that? Sorry.

Oh, it's a white.

Okay, it's a white. It's one of the
white birds.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. The white
bird. One of the white birds.

Which one is it?

In the sky.

The one with the sky.

We're at the airport where I once saw
Lisa McHugh.

And our border force agents are
questioning a returning traveller.

Did you pack this bag yourself?

Yep.

Because you have absolutely nailed it.

Truly, the roll of the socks, I enjoy
it. So neat. It's really great work, and

we see a lot of bags here. We see a lot
of bags here.

Oh, my God. I've been practising this
for a very long time, so it really makes

lot of sense.

Thank you so much. Hey, you're going to
Sydney.

Yeah. Oh, well done. Legitimately,
you're going to Sydney. Yeah.

Love that. Clap them off. I say.

Just love that.

OK,

guys.

This monster has been dominating our
lives for too long. So we go over the

one more time.

I am going to ride my bike out to the
portal and then lure him into my mom's

place. Yeah, and then I'll blind it with
my He -Man flashlight.

Then I'll send it back to the Upside
Down once and for all. Guys, can we just

use the power of friendship first this
time?

What? We always do this. We have this
crazy plan to defeat this all -powerful

monster using recognizable merchandise
from the 80s. It looks like we're going

to win, and then the monster starts to
win, and then we win using nothing but

the power of friendship.

So why don't we start with the power of
friendship first this time?

You guys are my best friends, and I know
that if we were together...

We can overcome anything.

Yeah. The one thing that scares me more
than this monster is losing you as a

friend. All this friendship is powering
me up!

First week of rehearsal and Kiki is in
the dance studio with her mother and

dance partner Darren is facing some
obstacles for this week's routine.

Yes, girl, yes.

And now bring some hip -hop into it.
Kaka!

Kaka! Amber Rose,

this is your final warning. What are you
doing here? This room is for

contestants only. I'm going to have to
ask you to leave. Well, yes, I know

Darren, but this week on Dancing With
The Stars...

What style is that?

Everything. It's like all the dance
styles together.

Ladies, you know how this show goes.
Every week, it's one dance style.

Yes, I know. Maybe for regular
contestants, but Kiki can do all the

Viennese waltz.

Tick -tock.

Hip -hop.

Irish dancing.

Irish dancing. Look, make eye contact
with her while she Irish dances, please.

Look at that. She's a 20 -throttle
threat.

It's like a triple threat, but 23
threads.

She's not 23 threads. She can do 22
styles of dance.

Your Majesty, if you'll just sit still.
Oh, fine.

What's this?

It's the first design for the new coin
featuring your royal likeness, sir. Ah,

picture of me.

I love it.

But may I query, what's this big round
thing that it's on?

That's a coin, sir.

Yes, yes, exactly.

What is a coin?

It's money, sir. Currency. No, no.

Currency is a gold bar or a small velvet
bag with conflict diamonds.

I don't think I've ever heard of these.

Coin. Well, sir, when ordinary people
want to buy something at the shop, say,

they pay for those things with coins.

For example, this five -pence piece.

Ah.

So the commoners think these trinkets
have special powers to buy things.

Oh, well, the little folk have their
superstitions. I'll leave them to it.

Excellent, sir. Now we'll move on to
stamps.

Hold on, I'm keeping this. If they think
that's worth five pence, then this must

be worth a fortune.

Weekends away with friends are a great
way to blow off steam, but a lot of

homestay rentals demand that you leave
the place looking clean, like just as

you've found it.

I have a hack for getting your deposit
back without having to lift a finger.

Just wake up before all your hungover
friends.

Bye, guys.

Love you.

At 000 HQ, operator Graham is once again
mounting the phones.

Hello? I need the fire department. My
house is on fire. Your house is on fire?

That's right.

The address is... The house where you
live is on fire?

How the hell did that happen?

I don't know how it started. Oh, jeez.

Oh, man, that's insane.

Oh, my house is on fire. Oh, boy.

You know, because that's where all my
stuff is, you know, my bed and my TV

I just bought and my fruit.

Yeah, so can you send a fire engine
to... I can't stop thinking about

not my house is on fire. It's really
stuck me up. No, listen... Sorry, can I

just... I'm just going to call my
neighbour real quick. Can you just hold

sec? Wait! Just one sec. Hang on.

Hey, Maureen, how you going? It's
Graham.

Yeah, good, good. Hey, listen, this is
going to sound crazy, but can you check

if my house is on fire?

Apparently that can happen.

OK. Oh, awesome. That's good. Thanks so
much. All right.

Hello, you still there?

Yeah, good news. My house is not on
fire.

How's yours going?

It's burned to the ground.

Don't worry about a fire truck.

Oh, cool. All right. Problem solved.

See ya.

This is Mordor on the Border.

Well, now that we have closed the case
of a sauna killer, it is time for some

pleasant and exciting news.

Our numbers in the Swedish National
Lottery have finally come up.

Our syndicate has won the first division
prize of 934 million kronor. We are now

all rich beyond wild dreams.

At last I can afford the fjord. I am so
happy.

For me, it will be having a different
cardigan for every day of the year.

Hooray. Wait.

I have played a practical yoke on you
all.

Our numbers did not come up. We are not
rich.

It was an amusing yoke, Detective
Salvaldo. I thank you for it.

Ah, I am laughing very much.

Well,

I am very upset and I want to kill you
all.

Some people don't have sense of humor.

Big catch Barry here.

Now I'm a skilled fisherman.

Probably the most skilled in my local
government area.

Sometimes skill isn't enough.

Sometimes you need a bit of luck.

And this rod right here has given me a
lot of luck.

It was passed down to me by my late
grandfather.

And every time I use it, I think of him.

The great angler who taught me
everything I know.

Oh, actually, I've got a photo of him.

Him right here, handsome devil.

This

is

old Prime Minister's home for four -year
-olds.

Malcolm Turnbull is teaching children to
pronounce words the way he does.

Okay, O is for ocean, as in if we don't
stop climate change, the

ocean will swallow up my mansion.

That's where I used to live, a big pink
house on the harbour. Can you say ocean?

Ocean. Very, very good.

And Kevin is teaching them words they've
never heard before.

As soon as I heard, was the part really
on the thick?

He needs a transplant, but there is a
parts shortage.

Supply chain issues.

So cold.

So cold.