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1
00:00:05,433 --> 00:00:09,849
Mr. Johnson here came to our
country with a secret agenda,
2
00:00:09,860 --> 00:00:11,587
to secure a trade deal
3
00:00:11,607 --> 00:00:14,024
to export our Gjelgjiughm coffee.
4
00:00:14,044 --> 00:00:17,811
Gjelgjiughm will never
engage in a coffee trade deal
5
00:00:17,831 --> 00:00:19,485
with the United States.
6
00:00:21,365 --> 00:00:23,851
I can't believe we're going
back home without a deal.
7
00:00:23,862 --> 00:00:25,431
Hey, it was always a long shot.
8
00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:26,702
Look at it this way.
9
00:00:26,713 --> 00:00:29,261
We got to see a new country
and meet some lifelong friends.
10
00:00:29,272 --> 00:00:31,312
Randall, you've made
zero friends on this trip.
11
00:00:31,323 --> 00:00:34,402
But I did get to spend a
solid day in the museum.
12
00:00:34,413 --> 00:00:36,266
Learned a ton about Cannibal's Peak.
13
00:00:36,277 --> 00:00:38,635
The things those soccer
players did to survive...
14
00:00:38,646 --> 00:00:41,127
They had these life-sized dioramas...
15
00:00:42,427 --> 00:00:43,843
Hey, listen.
16
00:00:43,854 --> 00:00:45,389
You tried your best.
17
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:48,089
You have no experience in
international diplomacy.
18
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:50,069
The president just threw you in there.
19
00:00:50,080 --> 00:00:53,007
People train for years to
prepare for a situation like that.
20
00:00:53,018 --> 00:00:54,021
I know.
21
00:00:54,032 --> 00:00:56,172
It's just, getting back
into the political arena
22
00:00:56,183 --> 00:00:57,979
and failing... again.
23
00:00:57,990 --> 00:00:59,766
It's frustrating, putting in the work
24
00:00:59,786 --> 00:01:02,051
and still feeling
completely out of my element.
25
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:05,829
And honestly, it reminds me
of when I first started acting.
26
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,333
I was now one of the top
wrestlers in the country,
27
00:01:08,344 --> 00:01:11,363
and with that distinction
came new opportunities.
28
00:01:11,374 --> 00:01:13,214
Bubbles, nice, Vince.
29
00:01:13,234 --> 00:01:14,433
What's the occasion?
30
00:01:14,453 --> 00:01:16,883
The WWF has never been bigger.
31
00:01:16,894 --> 00:01:19,061
And so much of our
success is thanks to you
32
00:01:19,072 --> 00:01:20,576
and all you've brought to the company.
33
00:01:20,587 --> 00:01:23,398
I mean, we literally took
one of your catchphrases
34
00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:25,432
and made a whole new
show called "SmackDown!"
35
00:01:25,443 --> 00:01:27,387
Thank you, Vince.
36
00:01:27,398 --> 00:01:29,313
It means a lot to hear you say that.
37
00:01:30,595 --> 00:01:32,734
Mm, one sec.
38
00:01:32,745 --> 00:01:35,541
I hate sparkling water. It's unnatural.
39
00:01:35,561 --> 00:01:38,108
Artie, no more bubble water.
40
00:01:38,128 --> 00:01:39,501
I know I requested it.
41
00:01:39,521 --> 00:01:41,165
Maybe we picked the wrong brand.
42
00:01:41,176 --> 00:01:43,045
Is this the one with
the trees on the label?
43
00:01:43,056 --> 00:01:44,940
The label says it's from Poland.
44
00:01:44,951 --> 00:01:45,953
Poland?
45
00:01:45,964 --> 00:01:48,345
Artie, I can't be
drinking war-torn water.
46
00:01:48,356 --> 00:01:50,251
Okay, from now on, I'd like all my water
47
00:01:50,271 --> 00:01:52,188
to be peaceful and regular.
48
00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:53,819
You got it, Vince. No problem...
49
00:01:53,830 --> 00:01:55,377
Our ratings are through the roof,
50
00:01:55,388 --> 00:01:57,528
and there's a sense we can
attract an even wider audience
51
00:01:57,539 --> 00:01:59,347
by having some of our
superstars cross over
52
00:01:59,367 --> 00:02:00,827
into scripted television.
53
00:02:00,847 --> 00:02:02,698
And given you're one of our top guys,
54
00:02:02,718 --> 00:02:04,270
I'd like you to be the tip of the spear.
55
00:02:04,281 --> 00:02:06,049
You mean, like, as an actor?
56
00:02:06,069 --> 00:02:07,355
Are you open to the idea?
57
00:02:07,375 --> 00:02:09,399
I mean, I've never
seriously thought about it,
58
00:02:09,410 --> 00:02:12,839
but what kid didn't want to
be Schwarzenegger or Stallone?
59
00:02:12,859 --> 00:02:15,172
Action stars, exactly.
60
00:02:15,183 --> 00:02:17,992
And the show we'd like to
cast you in isn't just action.
61
00:02:18,003 --> 00:02:20,194
It's cyber-action.
62
00:02:20,214 --> 00:02:21,804
You ever see the movie "The Net"?
63
00:02:21,824 --> 00:02:23,457
No, not yet, but it's on my list.
64
00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:24,894
Oh, you got to see it.
65
00:02:24,914 --> 00:02:26,679
Sandra Bullock was
always sprinting somewhere
66
00:02:26,699 --> 00:02:28,376
while a computer was loading.
67
00:02:28,396 --> 00:02:29,859
The tension was incredible.
68
00:02:29,870 --> 00:02:31,970
Yeah, I was told it did for computers
69
00:02:31,981 --> 00:02:33,670
what "Speed 2" did for boats.
70
00:02:33,681 --> 00:02:35,165
And is Sandra gonna be in the show?
71
00:02:35,185 --> 00:02:37,559
They didn't say, but probably.
72
00:02:37,579 --> 00:02:39,474
I mean, I don't know
anything about acting.
73
00:02:39,494 --> 00:02:41,968
Oh, don't worry.
You're gonna be playing a wrestler,
74
00:02:41,979 --> 00:02:43,173
basically a version of yourself.
75
00:02:43,193 --> 00:02:45,654
That could be cool.
I know how to do that.
76
00:02:45,674 --> 00:02:47,787
And you're okay with
me missing TV for this?
77
00:02:47,807 --> 00:02:50,268
That's the best part.
You won't miss any matches.
78
00:02:50,288 --> 00:02:52,519
We'll fly you out for the shoot
and have you back next week
79
00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:53,606
for "Monday Night Raw."
80
00:02:53,617 --> 00:02:55,664
- Sounds like fun.
- Terrific.
81
00:02:55,684 --> 00:02:57,057
Artie!
82
00:02:57,077 --> 00:02:58,580
Set a call with the network.
83
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:00,615
Dwayne's jumping into "The Net."
84
00:03:00,626 --> 00:03:01,627
Got it.
85
00:03:01,647 --> 00:03:04,156
Do you want me to do that before
I change the water order, sir, or...
86
00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:06,588
Figure it out, Artie!
87
00:03:06,608 --> 00:03:08,599
Sorry about the kid.
88
00:03:08,610 --> 00:03:11,295
Um, I-I need to call you back.
89
00:03:11,306 --> 00:03:14,082
It can be anything you want it to be.
That's what's so great about it.
90
00:03:14,093 --> 00:03:17,176
Sometimes, you want banana bread
and a cheeseburger at the same time.
91
00:03:17,187 --> 00:03:18,745
Or smoked salmon and key lime pie.
92
00:03:18,756 --> 00:03:21,429
Oh, that is not a meal. That's chaos.
93
00:03:21,449 --> 00:03:24,114
I'm just saying, brunch
is a ridiculous concept.
94
00:03:25,821 --> 00:03:28,146
- Hey, babe, how was your day?
- Hey, good.
95
00:03:28,157 --> 00:03:29,698
Funny thing, I met with Vince,
96
00:03:29,718 --> 00:03:31,883
and our network partner
offered me an acting role
97
00:03:31,894 --> 00:03:34,268
on one of their TV shows.
98
00:03:34,279 --> 00:03:36,174
Yeah, it's only for one episode,
99
00:03:36,269 --> 00:03:38,281
but it's for a new
show called "The Net,"
100
00:03:38,292 --> 00:03:39,979
based on the Sandra Bullock movie.
101
00:03:39,990 --> 00:03:42,668
What? Oh, I love her!
102
00:03:42,688 --> 00:03:45,453
Do you know Sandra is fluent in German?
103
00:03:45,473 --> 00:03:47,890
She's part Samoan, 1/16.
104
00:03:47,910 --> 00:03:49,588
You have to look, but it's there.
105
00:03:49,608 --> 00:03:51,255
You know, I was
almost on the big screen.
106
00:03:51,266 --> 00:03:52,546
Yes, we know, Dad.
107
00:03:52,557 --> 00:03:54,052
You've told the story a hundred times.
108
00:03:54,063 --> 00:03:57,387
- You were almost in a movie?
- Well, thank you, Dany.
109
00:03:57,398 --> 00:03:59,424
I considered being in
the movie "Predator,"
110
00:03:59,444 --> 00:04:01,359
even made an audition tape.
111
00:04:07,626 --> 00:04:11,369
I ain't got time to bleed!
112
00:04:12,692 --> 00:04:15,875
Hi, I'm Rocky Johnson.
I'm 6'2", and I live in Hawaii.
113
00:04:16,392 --> 00:04:18,051
You almost played Jesse Ventura's part?
114
00:04:18,071 --> 00:04:20,183
Yeah, lucky for him, I
never sent the tape in.
115
00:04:20,203 --> 00:04:22,490
- Why?
- Role didn't have enough lines.
116
00:04:22,510 --> 00:04:24,927
No meat on the bones. Pass.
117
00:04:24,947 --> 00:04:26,884
Oh, this is so exciting, Dewey.
118
00:04:26,895 --> 00:04:29,497
But I hope this doesn't mean
you're taking a break from wrestling.
119
00:04:29,517 --> 00:04:31,863
You're finally seeing the
success you've worked so hard for.
120
00:04:31,874 --> 00:04:33,999
Don't worry, Mom. I'm gonna do both.
121
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,199
Vince is fully supportive, and he thinks
122
00:04:36,219 --> 00:04:39,072
this will help the WWF
develop an even bigger fanbase.
123
00:04:39,092 --> 00:04:40,682
So what kind of acting role is it?
124
00:04:40,702 --> 00:04:41,901
Well, Vince said I'm playing a wrestler,
125
00:04:41,921 --> 00:04:43,218
but I haven't seen the script yet.
126
00:04:43,229 --> 00:04:44,986
Perfect. I'm sure you'll do great.
127
00:04:44,997 --> 00:04:47,070
- Absolutely.
- Fantastic.
128
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,170
If you see Sandra Bullock,
129
00:04:50,190 --> 00:04:53,608
you ask for her autograph,
and you bring it to me.
130
00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:56,263
I will. Okay, let's eat.
131
00:04:56,283 --> 00:04:59,092
You get her autograph first.
132
00:04:59,585 --> 00:05:00,835
Okay.
133
00:05:03,422 --> 00:05:05,778
I was pumped for my first
day of filming "The Net,"
134
00:05:05,789 --> 00:05:08,841
but honestly, I had no idea
what I was doing, since...
135
00:05:08,861 --> 00:05:10,538
I've never been on a TV set before.
136
00:05:10,558 --> 00:05:13,149
Hell yeah, set's the bomb.
137
00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:14,492
Your trailer okay?
138
00:05:14,503 --> 00:05:16,901
I keep my LaserDisc locked
up in mine with my gun.
139
00:05:16,912 --> 00:05:18,154
No, my trailer's great.
140
00:05:18,174 --> 00:05:20,548
Much more privacy
than a WWF locker room.
141
00:05:20,568 --> 00:05:23,421
Totally, well, I once meditated
for three hours in mine.
142
00:05:23,441 --> 00:05:25,212
Lost an entire morning of shooting.
143
00:05:25,223 --> 00:05:27,250
Production wanted me dead, but whatever.
144
00:05:27,270 --> 00:05:28,656
I'm a director.
145
00:05:28,667 --> 00:05:32,481
Sometimes with art, you gotta
go deep to find the truth.
146
00:05:34,006 --> 00:05:35,140
Come on.
147
00:05:35,647 --> 00:05:38,111
So uh, how's this gonna work?
148
00:05:38,122 --> 00:05:39,741
This is my first time doing this.
149
00:05:39,761 --> 00:05:41,956
So in the previous
shot, you'll exit the car
150
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:46,104
while Angela, the star/computer
programmer/your combat trainee,
151
00:05:46,115 --> 00:05:48,141
watches you enter the
gym to find the crime boss
152
00:05:48,161 --> 00:05:49,621
doing dumbbell curls on a bench press.
153
00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:51,256
He'll be the guy wearing Lee jeans.
154
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,715
Then you'll agree to fight
his champion to the death
155
00:05:53,726 --> 00:05:55,719
in an illegal gambling match
156
00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:58,595
being broadcast worldwide on the Net.
157
00:05:58,606 --> 00:06:00,535
So the crime boss works out in jeans?
158
00:06:00,546 --> 00:06:02,204
- Yeah, he's a total maniac.
- For sure.
159
00:06:02,215 --> 00:06:04,980
So do I know that I'm fighting
to the death ahead of time,
160
00:06:04,991 --> 00:06:06,103
or is this a trap?
161
00:06:06,114 --> 00:06:07,983
I just want to make sure I understand.
162
00:06:07,994 --> 00:06:09,479
All you need to understand
163
00:06:09,490 --> 00:06:11,782
is that you're gonna kick
that dude's ass... hey, Monty.
164
00:06:11,793 --> 00:06:13,336
- And I'll take care of the rest.
- Okay.
165
00:06:13,347 --> 00:06:15,917
All right, everyone, let's
make some excellent TV!
166
00:06:15,928 --> 00:06:19,228
Dwayne, go ahead and stand right there.
Perfect, baby, perfect.
167
00:06:19,659 --> 00:06:20,909
Okay.
168
00:06:21,737 --> 00:06:23,435
Robes are off.
169
00:06:23,446 --> 00:06:24,946
And...
170
00:06:26,122 --> 00:06:27,872
action!
171
00:06:31,073 --> 00:06:33,534
Make sure you lock the door.
172
00:06:33,554 --> 00:06:36,514
I don't want him trying to run away.
173
00:06:54,357 --> 00:06:56,818
I really like how clear
you're enunciating your lines.
174
00:06:56,838 --> 00:06:58,428
Was just thinking the same thing.
175
00:06:58,448 --> 00:07:00,842
I can understand every word.
176
00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:07,306
So if those agents you
were talking to earlier
177
00:07:07,317 --> 00:07:09,895
use the Internet, they
can stop the fight?
178
00:07:09,906 --> 00:07:11,365
Well, sort of.
179
00:07:11,376 --> 00:07:13,762
First, they need to track
the video feed's IP address
180
00:07:13,773 --> 00:07:15,153
so they can locate me.
181
00:07:15,164 --> 00:07:17,375
Locate you? But they were just with you.
182
00:07:17,386 --> 00:07:18,996
What kind of federal agents are these?
183
00:07:19,007 --> 00:07:20,764
Boo, FBI! Kill yourselves!
184
00:07:20,775 --> 00:07:23,342
Well, actually, only
the guy is with the FBI.
185
00:07:23,353 --> 00:07:25,457
The female lead is a computer programmer
186
00:07:25,468 --> 00:07:27,597
whose technology skills
help them solve crimes.
187
00:07:27,608 --> 00:07:28,905
Where's Sandra Bullock?
188
00:07:28,916 --> 00:07:32,293
Why didn't anyone call her
before getting into this mess?
189
00:07:35,278 --> 00:07:36,873
We not gonna talk about them punches?
190
00:07:36,884 --> 00:07:37,884
Shh!
191
00:07:37,895 --> 00:07:39,861
Needless to say, that wasn't quite
192
00:07:39,881 --> 00:07:42,539
how I imagined my acting debut going.
193
00:07:44,592 --> 00:07:47,065
After the way the episode
of "The Net" turned out,
194
00:07:47,076 --> 00:07:49,309
I felt like I had to address
it with Vince right away.
195
00:07:49,320 --> 00:07:52,134
Yeah, I did an episode of
"Dr. Judy: Old West Surgeon,"
196
00:07:52,145 --> 00:07:53,300
so I get it.
197
00:07:53,311 --> 00:07:54,829
Hey, Vince. You got a sec?
198
00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:56,343
There's my guy.
199
00:07:56,363 --> 00:07:58,612
You ready to go toe-to-toe
with Steve Austin this week?
200
00:07:58,623 --> 00:08:00,054
Definitely, it's gonna be a great match.
201
00:08:00,065 --> 00:08:01,568
- All right.
- Listen.
202
00:08:01,579 --> 00:08:04,452
I just wanted to apologize
for last night on "The Net."
203
00:08:04,463 --> 00:08:06,266
I hope I didn't embarrass the company.
204
00:08:06,286 --> 00:08:08,181
- Are you joking?
- I wish.
205
00:08:08,201 --> 00:08:09,922
When you have a chance
to see the episode...
206
00:08:09,942 --> 00:08:12,037
Dwayne, I watched the show last night.
207
00:08:12,048 --> 00:08:13,465
You were sensational!
208
00:08:13,476 --> 00:08:14,622
- Really?
- Stop being modest.
209
00:08:14,642 --> 00:08:16,102
I hate false sincerity.
210
00:08:16,122 --> 00:08:18,452
It's like when people
ask, "How's your family?"
211
00:08:18,472 --> 00:08:19,671
They don't care.
212
00:08:19,691 --> 00:08:21,455
They don't give a fig about my family.
213
00:08:21,475 --> 00:08:23,501
Watch. Artie, how's your family?
214
00:08:23,521 --> 00:08:26,206
- Well, my mom just...
- See? I don't care.
215
00:08:26,217 --> 00:08:29,594
Dwayne, your episode was so
good that I'm rewatching it right now.
216
00:08:29,614 --> 00:08:30,943
I don't know.
217
00:08:30,963 --> 00:08:32,771
I thought my acting was kind of stiff.
218
00:08:32,791 --> 00:08:34,773
Dwayne, no one's watching your acting.
219
00:08:34,793 --> 00:08:36,873
They're watching you, the Rock.
220
00:08:36,884 --> 00:08:38,994
This is exactly the
type of entertainment
221
00:08:39,014 --> 00:08:41,780
that will bring more fans into the WWF.
222
00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,609
I also loved that scene
when flirty music played
223
00:08:44,629 --> 00:08:47,264
while you taught fake Sandra
Bullock how to neutralize a bad guy.
224
00:08:47,284 --> 00:08:49,788
My director said those
kinds of emotional layers
225
00:08:49,808 --> 00:08:51,224
are his artistic signature.
226
00:08:51,244 --> 00:08:53,357
Stay close to him. He's going places.
227
00:08:53,377 --> 00:08:55,446
Did the network execs say
anything about the show?
228
00:08:55,466 --> 00:08:57,622
They didn't seem to want
to discuss the episode,
229
00:08:57,642 --> 00:08:59,014
which is crazy to me.
230
00:08:59,034 --> 00:09:01,626
But everyone loves what
this crossover initiative
231
00:09:01,646 --> 00:09:02,975
is doing for our ratings.
232
00:09:02,995 --> 00:09:04,933
In fact, I've already
booked you another role,
233
00:09:04,953 --> 00:09:06,805
this time, on "Star Trek: Voyager."
234
00:09:06,825 --> 00:09:09,329
"Star Trek"? That's a major franchise.
235
00:09:09,349 --> 00:09:10,678
Nanu nanu.
236
00:09:10,698 --> 00:09:12,289
Exciting stuff, right?
237
00:09:12,309 --> 00:09:14,313
You shoot your episode next month.
238
00:09:14,324 --> 00:09:16,249
If Vince was happy
with what I was doing,
239
00:09:16,269 --> 00:09:17,990
then I was happy to keep doing it
240
00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:19,426
and just trying to get better.
241
00:09:19,446 --> 00:09:22,386
Plus, "Star Trek" was a
big, storied franchise,
242
00:09:22,406 --> 00:09:25,389
and I was excited to get a
chance to enter that universe.
243
00:09:25,409 --> 00:09:28,261
Another packed house for
"Thursday Night SmackDown!"
244
00:09:28,281 --> 00:09:30,307
Des Moines really knows how to party.
245
00:09:30,327 --> 00:09:31,364
I'm so jealous.
246
00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:34,311
I've been dying to see Iowa
ever since we watched "Field of Dreams."
247
00:09:34,331 --> 00:09:35,877
"Hey, Dad.
248
00:09:35,897 --> 00:09:38,532
Wanna have a catch?"
249
00:09:38,552 --> 00:09:41,056
- Emotional.
- So emotional.
250
00:09:41,076 --> 00:09:42,797
Hey, your dad's here. You wanna say hi?
251
00:09:42,817 --> 00:09:44,495
Nah, I'm good.
252
00:09:45,911 --> 00:09:48,020
Oh, that's my food. I better go.
253
00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:49,855
I gotta get back to reading too.
254
00:09:49,866 --> 00:09:52,285
I've barely started
this "Star Trek" book.
255
00:09:52,305 --> 00:09:54,548
I love how seriously you're taking this.
256
00:09:54,568 --> 00:09:56,681
You know I want to be
the best at whatever I do.
257
00:09:56,701 --> 00:09:58,030
Oh, I know. Bye, babe.
258
00:09:58,050 --> 00:09:59,600
All right. Bye, babe.
259
00:10:03,638 --> 00:10:05,429
- Hey.
- I have three dinners for...
260
00:10:05,693 --> 00:10:06,693
One guest.
261
00:10:06,704 --> 00:10:10,515
- Yeah, you can bring that in.
- Oh, live long and prosper.
262
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:13,524
Oh, what a nice thing to say. You too.
263
00:10:13,544 --> 00:10:15,285
Cool finger trick, by the way.
264
00:10:16,142 --> 00:10:17,384
Come on in.
265
00:10:20,377 --> 00:10:22,292
Live long and prosper?
266
00:10:23,467 --> 00:10:24,856
Oh.
267
00:10:26,497 --> 00:10:28,961
Please. Don't make me laugh.
268
00:10:28,972 --> 00:10:30,845
Ha, you?
269
00:10:30,865 --> 00:10:34,153
I'm insulted they would even
put you in the pit to fight me.
270
00:10:34,173 --> 00:10:36,661
Oh, wait, it's
"against me," not "fight me."
271
00:10:36,672 --> 00:10:38,132
- Let me start over.
- Hey, you okay, Dew?
272
00:10:38,143 --> 00:10:39,533
You seem kind of nervous or something.
273
00:10:39,544 --> 00:10:42,513
I just want to be prepared
so I can nail it when it's showtime.
274
00:10:42,524 --> 00:10:43,815
Brother, you performed at the main event
275
00:10:43,835 --> 00:10:45,599
in front of 30,000 screaming fans.
276
00:10:45,619 --> 00:10:46,905
I think you can handle this.
277
00:10:46,925 --> 00:10:48,559
This is so different, though.
278
00:10:48,579 --> 00:10:51,736
There's no live audience to
feed off of and respond to.
279
00:10:51,756 --> 00:10:53,433
I know this is just a way to help Vince
280
00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:55,953
expand the profile of the company,
but I still want to do a good job.
281
00:10:55,964 --> 00:10:57,511
Hey, don't even mention it, all right?
282
00:10:57,522 --> 00:10:59,516
We'll keep rehearsing them
till you get them lines down.
283
00:10:59,527 --> 00:11:01,093
You're gonna be the best
damn half-woman, half-cyborg
284
00:11:01,113 --> 00:11:02,653
this show's ever had.
285
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:05,216
Bruno, you're the
half-woman, half-cyborg.
286
00:11:05,227 --> 00:11:06,599
Wait, what?
287
00:11:06,727 --> 00:11:08,477
- I'm half-Borg?
- Yeah.
288
00:11:09,948 --> 00:11:12,147
Wow, okay.
289
00:11:12,167 --> 00:11:14,411
This script makes a lot more sense now.
290
00:11:14,431 --> 00:11:15,934
- It says...
- I didn't even see that.
291
00:11:15,954 --> 00:11:17,718
It's okay, it's okay. Okay, ready?
292
00:11:17,738 --> 00:11:19,981
Yep, start it over.
293
00:11:20,001 --> 00:11:21,418
So after a lot of practice,
294
00:11:21,438 --> 00:11:24,725
I was ready to bring
the heat on "Star Trek."
295
00:11:27,618 --> 00:11:29,904
Live long and prosper.
296
00:11:29,924 --> 00:11:31,819
Wrong species.
You're Pendari, not Vulcan.
297
00:11:31,839 --> 00:11:34,729
- Hi, I'm Kim, the director.
- I know. I was just...
298
00:11:34,894 --> 00:11:36,876
- I'm Dwayne.
- Nice to have you with us, Dwayne.
299
00:11:36,887 --> 00:11:39,176
Happy to be here.
Great script, by the way.
300
00:11:39,187 --> 00:11:41,002
I really love how quickly my character
301
00:11:41,022 --> 00:11:43,004
loses his temper, which I believe
302
00:11:43,024 --> 00:11:45,707
is an established trait
of the Pendari species.
303
00:11:45,718 --> 00:11:48,140
Uh, yes, the writer did a fine job.
304
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:50,098
Oh, yeah. I was thinking, though,
305
00:11:50,118 --> 00:11:51,926
you know, when I enter the battle pit,
306
00:11:51,946 --> 00:11:53,493
maybe I could address the crowd,
307
00:11:53,513 --> 00:11:54,989
fire 'em up, kind of like how I do as...
308
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,550
Love your attitude, but
as our alien of the week,
309
00:11:57,561 --> 00:11:59,689
you know, the role doesn't
allow for improvisation.
310
00:11:59,700 --> 00:12:01,165
- Alien of the...
- Mm-hmm.
311
00:12:01,176 --> 00:12:02,328
Oh.
312
00:12:02,348 --> 00:12:04,286
That's what the letters
on my chair stand for.
313
00:12:04,306 --> 00:12:06,158
Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't
overthink it, okay?
314
00:12:06,178 --> 00:12:09,170
We have 26 episodes to shoot
this season, so, you know,
315
00:12:09,181 --> 00:12:11,337
got to keep the intergalactic
trains running on time.
316
00:12:11,357 --> 00:12:12,817
- Got it.
- Ooh, no, no, no.
317
00:12:12,837 --> 00:12:13,992
Don't furrow your brow.
318
00:12:14,012 --> 00:12:16,262
It's real bad for your face bulges.
319
00:12:23,238 --> 00:12:25,307
Excuse me.
320
00:12:25,327 --> 00:12:27,832
Excuse me.
321
00:12:27,965 --> 00:12:29,662
Can I get some water?
322
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:33,311
Excuse me.
323
00:12:35,883 --> 00:12:36,968
You?
324
00:12:37,069 --> 00:12:40,221
I'm insulted they would even
put you in the pit against me.
325
00:12:40,232 --> 00:12:42,792
You're no bigger than
an Aldebaran Mud Leech.
326
00:12:42,803 --> 00:12:45,219
I must caution you against
dismissing me so lightly.
327
00:12:45,239 --> 00:12:46,959
I possess incredible strength.
328
00:12:46,979 --> 00:12:48,744
I think not.
329
00:12:48,764 --> 00:12:50,562
Damon, what are you doing?
330
00:12:50,573 --> 00:12:52,103
You don't shoot rehearsal.
331
00:12:52,114 --> 00:12:53,289
Sorry.
332
00:12:54,823 --> 00:12:57,274
Okay, so this is where
the battle horn will sound
333
00:12:57,294 --> 00:12:59,782
and the fight starts.
Nathan will lead you
334
00:12:59,793 --> 00:13:01,648
through the exact fight
choreography after,
335
00:13:01,659 --> 00:13:05,630
but basically, you
exchange blows, yeah, and...
336
00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:07,458
I assure you, this will be a lot easier
337
00:13:07,478 --> 00:13:08,981
if you cease your resistance.
338
00:13:09,001 --> 00:13:12,115
It would be a lot easier
if you ceased your punches.
339
00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:13,812
Oh, no, wait, sorry, my line is,
340
00:13:13,832 --> 00:13:15,858
"I assure you, it
would be a lot easier..."
341
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,686
- Let me start again.
- You know what, it's okay.
342
00:13:17,706 --> 00:13:19,122
If you flub a line while we're rolling,
343
00:13:19,142 --> 00:13:20,698
don't stop, just keep going.
344
00:13:20,709 --> 00:13:22,959
Okay, we can cut around it in post.
345
00:13:24,739 --> 00:13:25,989
Yeah.
346
00:13:26,133 --> 00:13:27,176
Yeah.
347
00:13:27,187 --> 00:13:28,406
So that's the gist.
348
00:13:28,417 --> 00:13:30,095
If you can just stand
on your first marks,
349
00:13:30,106 --> 00:13:32,014
we're gonna tweak some lighting
and get you both in wardrobe.
350
00:13:32,025 --> 00:13:33,537
- Yeah?
- Thanks.
351
00:13:33,548 --> 00:13:34,964
- I'm sorry about that.
- Mm...
352
00:13:34,984 --> 00:13:36,551
Kim's right.
I shouldn't have stopped mid-scene.
353
00:13:36,562 --> 00:13:39,020
Don't apologize. It's
great you care so much.
354
00:13:39,031 --> 00:13:41,362
Well, I do give everything 100%.
355
00:13:41,382 --> 00:13:43,015
A lot of guest stars don't.
356
00:13:43,035 --> 00:13:45,148
Andy Dick may as well have been drunk.
357
00:13:45,168 --> 00:13:46,758
Andy Dick did "Star Trek: Voyager"?
358
00:13:46,778 --> 00:13:48,297
- Yep.
- Hey, Jeri.
359
00:13:48,308 --> 00:13:51,685
Your opening line is actually,
"I possess superior strength."
360
00:13:51,696 --> 00:13:54,244
- What did I say?
- You said "incredible strength."
361
00:13:54,264 --> 00:13:56,942
The writer said your character
wouldn't use the word "incredible."
362
00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,989
Ah, okay. Thanks, Marisa.
363
00:14:00,009 --> 00:14:02,426
Well, looks like one of
us has lines that matter.
364
00:14:02,446 --> 00:14:04,187
Trust me, when you're
part of the main cast,
365
00:14:04,198 --> 00:14:05,919
you can't mess with the
"Star Trek" universe.
366
00:14:05,930 --> 00:14:07,999
Oh, yeah, I realized that right away
367
00:14:08,010 --> 00:14:09,861
while I was doing my research online.
368
00:14:09,872 --> 00:14:11,202
People have opinions.
369
00:14:11,213 --> 00:14:13,272
Oh, you are not kidding.
370
00:14:13,283 --> 00:14:15,657
But seriously, thanks
for being so prepared.
371
00:14:15,677 --> 00:14:17,659
Sometimes, an actor's job
is simply to play the role
372
00:14:17,679 --> 00:14:19,205
you're given on the show that you're on.
373
00:14:19,216 --> 00:14:21,159
I got it, know your role...
374
00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:23,891
And shut your mouth!
375
00:14:23,902 --> 00:14:25,101
- Wow.
- I'm a big fan.
376
00:14:25,121 --> 00:14:27,408
Thank you.
377
00:14:27,428 --> 00:14:29,699
You're hit. You're bleeding, man.
378
00:14:29,710 --> 00:14:31,692
I ain't got time to bleed.
379
00:14:31,823 --> 00:14:33,327
Nothing beats "Predator."
380
00:14:33,347 --> 00:14:35,198
Arnold's line is my favorite.
381
00:14:35,218 --> 00:14:37,418
Get to the choppa!
382
00:14:37,438 --> 00:14:38,713
Perfect.
383
00:14:38,724 --> 00:14:40,430
Ugh, let me guess.
384
00:14:40,441 --> 00:14:42,684
Jesse Ventura's chewing up the scenery
385
00:14:42,704 --> 00:14:44,164
with his chewing tobacco,
386
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:47,575
spitting all on his
machine gun like a...
387
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:50,213
let me know when it's over.
388
00:14:50,233 --> 00:14:53,085
I'd like a movie snack.
Do you have any popcorn?
389
00:14:53,105 --> 00:14:54,783
Of course.
390
00:14:54,803 --> 00:14:56,480
Oh, but it's stovetop,
391
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:58,569
and I'm kind of a microwave girl.
392
00:14:58,589 --> 00:15:01,179
I can teach you how to cook popcorn.
393
00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:03,748
You know, I've only
done two small roles,
394
00:15:03,768 --> 00:15:06,751
and I already have so much more
appreciation for this stuff.
395
00:15:06,771 --> 00:15:09,189
It would be so cool to
play a role like that.
396
00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:10,451
You could do that if you wanted to.
397
00:15:10,471 --> 00:15:12,583
Nah, everyone only wants me
398
00:15:12,603 --> 00:15:14,071
to play some version of a wrestler.
399
00:15:14,082 --> 00:15:15,987
I'm already a wrestler in real life.
400
00:15:15,998 --> 00:15:18,083
What's the point of being
one in another galaxy,
401
00:15:18,094 --> 00:15:21,360
or New Orleans, or
wherever "The Net" is set?
402
00:15:21,371 --> 00:15:24,900
Seattle. "The Net" is set in Seattle.
403
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,554
Listen.
404
00:15:26,574 --> 00:15:28,556
No one is happier at the success
405
00:15:28,576 --> 00:15:30,645
you've found wrestling than me.
406
00:15:30,665 --> 00:15:33,256
If you're happy, keep
doing what you're doing.
407
00:15:33,276 --> 00:15:35,302
You'll hear no complaints from us.
408
00:15:35,322 --> 00:15:37,826
But if this new challenge
is interesting to you,
409
00:15:37,846 --> 00:15:39,262
go after it.
410
00:15:39,282 --> 00:15:41,830
You make it look the
way you want it to look.
411
00:15:42,003 --> 00:15:44,453
There are no fences around you, Dewey.
412
00:15:45,332 --> 00:15:47,678
- Is it over?
- No!
413
00:15:48,291 --> 00:15:49,664
Jesse Ventura's great.
414
00:15:49,684 --> 00:15:51,188
Oh, he's good. He's very good.
415
00:15:51,199 --> 00:15:52,806
Don't let your dad hear you say that.
416
00:15:52,817 --> 00:15:54,410
Dad would have been pretty good in this.
417
00:15:54,421 --> 00:15:56,977
- Mm...
- Okay.
418
00:15:56,988 --> 00:15:59,639
Great episode of
"Star Trek" last night, Dwayne.
419
00:15:59,650 --> 00:16:02,198
I'm not a Trekkie, but you
were sensational as Blorg.
420
00:16:02,218 --> 00:16:03,330
Thank you, Vince.
421
00:16:03,350 --> 00:16:04,940
I was thinking, for your next role,
422
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,248
something completely
different, huh, like a comedy.
423
00:16:08,268 --> 00:16:10,293
- Yeah, I love comedy.
- Me too.
424
00:16:10,313 --> 00:16:11,512
Nothing funnier in
the world than someone
425
00:16:11,532 --> 00:16:13,427
stepping in dog crap.
426
00:16:13,456 --> 00:16:16,700
If I could make an entire
show of just that, I would.
427
00:16:16,711 --> 00:16:19,302
- I mean, I'd watch that.
- Right?
428
00:16:19,322 --> 00:16:20,608
Ding-dong, who's that?
429
00:16:20,628 --> 00:16:23,088
Oh, no, there's crap on my shoe.
430
00:16:23,108 --> 00:16:25,569
If you smell... dog crap.
431
00:16:25,589 --> 00:16:27,658
Just one after the other,
people stepping in crap.
432
00:16:27,678 --> 00:16:30,260
That's what crap sounds like!
433
00:16:32,596 --> 00:16:34,099
Anyway, I'm glad you're into it
434
00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:36,798
because I booked you an
episode of "That '70s Show."
435
00:16:36,818 --> 00:16:37,929
Are you serious?
436
00:16:37,949 --> 00:16:40,643
I don't joke around when it comes
to the best decade of all time.
437
00:16:40,654 --> 00:16:42,203
I mean, that's such a funny show.
438
00:16:42,214 --> 00:16:45,351
- What's my role?
- One that only you could play.
439
00:16:46,610 --> 00:16:49,245
My primetime comedy debut
was not only playing
440
00:16:49,265 --> 00:16:52,030
the role of another
wrestler, but that wrestler
441
00:16:52,050 --> 00:16:54,903
- was my dad.
- Looking good, son.
442
00:16:54,923 --> 00:16:56,173
Yeah.
443
00:17:00,052 --> 00:17:02,670
Even though I was playing
yet another wrestler,
444
00:17:02,681 --> 00:17:04,445
I was really proud to play my dad.
445
00:17:04,580 --> 00:17:08,248
And he was truly excited
about me playing him on TV.
446
00:17:08,259 --> 00:17:11,721
And of course, as always,
the Soul Man had some notes.
447
00:17:11,741 --> 00:17:13,157
Now remember,
448
00:17:13,177 --> 00:17:14,898
if you want to capture my essence,
449
00:17:14,918 --> 00:17:17,466
you need to let your mouth and
your muscles do the talking.
450
00:17:17,486 --> 00:17:19,033
No such thing as too much talking
451
00:17:19,053 --> 00:17:20,425
when you're playing someone
who is that good at it.
452
00:17:20,445 --> 00:17:21,687
Well, I'm pretty sure
they're gonna want me
453
00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:24,603
to stick to the script, but don't worry,
I'll make you proud.
454
00:17:24,623 --> 00:17:25,953
This is so exciting.
455
00:17:25,973 --> 00:17:27,998
I've never been on a soundstage before.
456
00:17:28,018 --> 00:17:30,218
And I just told one
of the lead actresses
457
00:17:30,238 --> 00:17:31,872
I hope she breaks her legs.
458
00:17:31,892 --> 00:17:33,776
She said that to the
woman that plays the mom.
459
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:35,191
It was amazing.
460
00:17:35,202 --> 00:17:36,575
Should we head to our seats?
461
00:17:36,586 --> 00:17:39,206
I heard they're handing out tuna
fish sandwiches before the show.
462
00:17:39,217 --> 00:17:41,112
We'll be cheering for you, sweetheart.
463
00:17:41,123 --> 00:17:42,935
Thanks, Mom. Love you guys.
464
00:17:42,946 --> 00:17:44,058
Love you too.
465
00:17:51,650 --> 00:17:52,650
Hey.
466
00:17:55,002 --> 00:17:56,374
You know what?
467
00:17:56,394 --> 00:17:58,072
When my son grows up,
468
00:17:58,092 --> 00:18:00,378
he's gonna become the
most electrifying man
469
00:18:00,398 --> 00:18:02,772
in sports entertainment.
470
00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:07,603
Bravo, Dewey!
471
00:18:07,623 --> 00:18:09,779
The only person who
could have done a better job
472
00:18:09,799 --> 00:18:12,525
at playing me on screen than you is me.
473
00:18:12,536 --> 00:18:16,655
I like Dewey's version of
you better than your version.
474
00:18:16,675 --> 00:18:19,136
Babe, you're really good.
475
00:18:19,156 --> 00:18:20,442
I agree.
476
00:18:20,462 --> 00:18:22,882
- Your hard work is starting to pay off.
- Thanks, Mom.
477
00:18:22,893 --> 00:18:25,969
For the first time, I felt like I
could see myself doing a version
478
00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:28,363
of acting the way that
I wanted to do it.
479
00:18:28,383 --> 00:18:29,622
I was also about to get one
480
00:18:29,633 --> 00:18:31,223
of the most exciting
phone calls of my life.
481
00:18:33,518 --> 00:18:35,326
- Hello?
- Great show, Bubba!
482
00:18:35,346 --> 00:18:38,199
Now, open your ears! I write screenplay.
483
00:18:38,219 --> 00:18:40,810
I mail you pages. We win Oscar!
484
00:18:40,830 --> 00:18:42,681
Hollywood champion number one!
485
00:18:42,701 --> 00:18:43,987
That was the call?
486
00:18:44,007 --> 00:18:45,776
No, that was the call before the call.
487
00:18:45,787 --> 00:18:47,682
Oh, it kind of felt
like you were teeing up
488
00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:49,529
the actual call there.
489
00:18:49,540 --> 00:18:51,125
Well, I can't wait to read it, Sheiky.
490
00:18:51,145 --> 00:18:53,388
Forrest Gump jabroni actor!
491
00:18:53,408 --> 00:18:54,778
Tell him he still owes me money.
492
00:18:54,789 --> 00:18:56,695
- Talk soon.
- Yes, Bubb...
493
00:18:56,715 --> 00:18:58,915
You didn't tell him.
494
00:18:58,935 --> 00:19:00,917
Wow, the phone's ringing off the hook.
495
00:19:00,937 --> 00:19:03,456
Everybody must have seen the show.
496
00:19:03,922 --> 00:19:05,685
- Hello?
- Hi, is this Dwayne?
497
00:19:05,696 --> 00:19:06,871
Yes, this is Dwayne.
498
00:19:06,882 --> 00:19:09,012
Dwayne, it's Lorne Michaels.
499
00:19:09,032 --> 00:19:12,885
Hi. Uh, it's great to talk to you.
500
00:19:16,039 --> 00:19:18,848
I think he said Bret
Michaels from Poison.
501
00:19:18,868 --> 00:19:21,198
I've been trying to track you down.
502
00:19:21,218 --> 00:19:23,244
Um, Vince and I were talking,
503
00:19:23,264 --> 00:19:25,507
and he thinks you've
got something special
504
00:19:25,527 --> 00:19:27,465
that would work for us
505
00:19:27,485 --> 00:19:30,033
and that you'd be a perfect fit.
506
00:19:30,053 --> 00:19:31,059
A fit?
507
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:32,660
To host "Saturday Night Live."
508
00:19:32,751 --> 00:19:34,465
No way.
509
00:19:34,476 --> 00:19:36,822
So you get the call
that every young comedian
510
00:19:36,842 --> 00:19:38,694
aspires to receive, but instead,
511
00:19:38,714 --> 00:19:40,525
it goes to a wrestler
who has no aspirations
512
00:19:40,536 --> 00:19:41,952
of hosting the show?
513
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,056
Let me guess, hosting
"SNL" is one of your dreams.
514
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:45,483
Hell yeah!
515
00:19:45,503 --> 00:19:47,746
And when that call comes,
I'll be ready with my pre-written
516
00:19:47,766 --> 00:19:49,270
"Wayne's World" sketch.
517
00:19:49,290 --> 00:19:51,209
I play Wayne's Korean stepfather
518
00:19:51,220 --> 00:19:53,666
who comes home from the Gulf War.
519
00:19:54,590 --> 00:19:55,852
Oh.
520
00:19:57,194 --> 00:19:58,757
Sounds like a fresh idea.
521
00:19:58,777 --> 00:19:59,966
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
522
00:19:59,977 --> 00:20:02,794
You want to develop it into,
like, a buddy comedy thing?
523
00:20:02,805 --> 00:20:05,382
I think it needs a little
bit more to it, but sure.
524
00:20:05,393 --> 00:20:06,424
- Yeah?
- Sure.
525
00:20:06,435 --> 00:20:08,095
- Okay, yeah, me and you.
- Yeah, down the road.
526
00:20:08,106 --> 00:20:09,116
Absolutely.
527
00:20:09,136 --> 00:20:10,299
Yeah, we'll work on it, like, tomorrow.
528
00:20:10,310 --> 00:20:12,389
- Down the road.
- Down the road tomorrow, sure.
529
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:13,833
Okay.
530
00:20:13,844 --> 00:20:17,339
So anyway, you get the call
from Lorne, and then what?
531
00:20:18,047 --> 00:20:20,736
Mr. Michaels, I would be truly honored
532
00:20:20,756 --> 00:20:23,217
to host "Saturday Night Live."
533
00:20:23,237 --> 00:20:27,047
Great. Glad to hear it.
534
00:20:27,067 --> 00:20:31,071
But I would love to
not play a wrestler in it.
535
00:20:32,541 --> 00:20:33,791
Yeah.
536
00:20:34,638 --> 00:20:36,705
I'll give that some thought.
537
00:20:36,716 --> 00:20:38,307
So they came to you
with an offer to host,
538
00:20:38,318 --> 00:20:40,373
and you came back to them with terms?
539
00:20:40,384 --> 00:20:41,387
Correct.
540
00:20:41,398 --> 00:20:42,692
If I was gonna walk into a new arena,
541
00:20:42,703 --> 00:20:44,555
then I wanted to be the
best that I could be,
542
00:20:44,566 --> 00:20:48,441
and for me, that was way
beyond just being a wrestler
543
00:20:48,452 --> 00:20:50,394
playing a wrestler for the joke.
544
00:20:50,497 --> 00:20:52,803
And luckily, Lorne agreed.
545
00:20:53,745 --> 00:20:55,205
The next thing I knew,
546
00:20:55,225 --> 00:20:58,252
I found myself walking
down a new kind of tunnel.
547
00:20:58,478 --> 00:21:00,732
It reminded me of just
five years earlier,
548
00:21:00,752 --> 00:21:03,948
when I was walking through
the tunnel to my first arena show.
549
00:21:03,973 --> 00:21:05,798
But this time, it was the tunnel
550
00:21:05,809 --> 00:21:08,227
to the iconic "Saturday
Night Live" stage.
551
00:21:08,238 --> 00:21:12,744
Ladies and gentlemen, the Rock!
552
00:21:12,764 --> 00:21:14,940
Why'd you stop? What's wrong?
553
00:21:19,267 --> 00:21:21,101
- Excuse me, Jerry?
- Yes, sir.
554
00:21:21,121 --> 00:21:23,190
Let's turn around and
head back to the estate.
555
00:21:23,210 --> 00:21:24,626
We're not going home.
556
00:21:24,637 --> 00:21:27,767
Talking about standing up to
power and asking for what you want,
557
00:21:27,778 --> 00:21:29,823
I'm surprised I
didn't think of it sooner.
558
00:21:29,834 --> 00:21:31,930
I have a plan that can
save this trade deal.
559
00:21:36,913 --> 00:21:40,414
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.addic7ed.com -
42093
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