All language subtitles for The.Great.North.S04E16.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH

and because Rose
only played dumb

but was actually
a manipulative snake,

I have to put Dorothy as
my number one Golden Girl.

- Judy?
- What?

Falling asleep during my
Golden Girls ratings chat

is very rude.

Sorry, Alanis. I
didn't mean to doze off.

But, you know, midsummer,
the Alaskan sky is only dark

for a very short window and
it's, like, 2:00 a.m. right now,

so I am trying my best, okay?

And I do want to hear more
of your GG rankings... I love it...

but the whole reason I came
out here was to talk about me,

and, the clock's a-tickin'.

Yeah. This time of the
year is a little tough for you?

Since the summer solstice
thing in general is seen

as kind of a sacred time
for mothers and daughters.

And all the mothers and
daughters in Lone Moose

hold that big
softball tournament.

Maybe you feel a
little, well, left out?

Okay, that was a lot of assuming

for an imaginary friend.

And, look, maybe
I do have a longing

to play softball with my mom
and have a mother-daughter catch,

but, actually, that's not
what I want to talk about.

Okay. Lay it on me.

Well, you know how I've
been displaying my paintings

on the wall outside the
Maude's All-Day bathrooms?

Um, I've now sold 15 paintings.

Well, hey. I'm
so proud of you.

Yeah. So I don't even care

about all the
mother-daughter stuff going on

because, clearly, I'm
actually thriving right now.

Well, it doesn't
surprise me, Judy.

Heartache can lead to
some really powerful art.

I never could have
written "Head Over Feet"

if my ferret Devin
hadn't gotten stuck

in that Pringles can and died.

Judy, wake up. Don't fall off the roof.

Yup. In I...

- go.
- Okay.

She's... Yeah,
that'll have to do.

Look at this gorgeous beast.

Gentlemen, we've created a
Cabbage Patch full-grown adult.

It makes the Incredible Hulk

look like an
incredible pile of trash.

This dense-leaf daddy's
gonna get first place

in the Longest Day Largest
Vegetable Parade for sure.

Yep. Just a few days to go.

I'll stay on prune duty.

I've already fortified
the crap out of the fence.

And, Dad, if I could
borrow the generator,

I'd like to crank 2,000
volts through this thing.

Well, Ham and I have
been mostly reading

or playing music
for the cabbage,

since studies show it
can help their growth.

But today we're taking it to
the next level with some ASMR.

Listen to the soil.

It mushes with the hum of life.

Wonderful, boys.

Love how focused this team is.

Hey, Dad, before we go in,

can I give him a little kiss?

Absolutely, son.

Mwah.

Got another painting
for you, Maude.

Looks like another banger, Judy.

Am I using that right?

- No.
- Well.

Hey, you gonna stop by

the Mother-Daughter
Softball Tournament today?

Rebecca and Susannah
Peterson got caught corking bats.

They've been banned for
life, so it's anyone's game.

Um, no. No, I'm-I'm not.

All the mother-daughter
stuff this time of year,

it's, um, I don't know, a
little much, don't you think?

I mean, we get it.
Mothers have daughters.

Daughters have mothers.
Boring.

What I really need is to know

who's been buying
these paintings.

Would love to know
more about my fandom.

Actually, the same
person's bought all of 'em.

Really? Who is it?

I-I don't know who they are.

But they're always
wearing a big shroud.

That's kind of weird.

Are you overwhelmed
by the painting?

No, I'm overwhelmed
by breakfast clams.

Got to go. Move, move.

Hey, Jerry, over here.

Ready to enjoy some
mother-daughter slo-pitch?

Hell yeah. It's good
to be back in a ballpark.

I've really missed going
to watch our home team,

the Fresno Footlongs.

And eating all the
footlongs in the stands.

I'd eat so many I'd get sick.

Me too. And not to be gross...

and I know it's not possible...

but I'm pretty sure, one
time, one came out intact.

In the bun and everything.

Couldn't help but overhear ya,

'cause I was actively
eavesdropping,

but they don't
sell hot dogs here.

What? No footlongs?
This is a nightmare.

Wait, hey, hey, if you
got a little footlong money

burning a hole in your
pocket, I got a special deal

- on something pretty fun.
- Yeah.

I love those stupid giant
hands. We'll take two.

But, see, you've
each got two hands there.

The man has a point, HB.

I'm getting a severe
case of foam-mo,

'cause of those absolutely rad
foam fingers you guys got on.

Yeah, these
things are fun as hell.

You can do exaggerated pointing,

pretend to pick your nose.

I mean, I might
never take 'em off.

Really?

Well, I might never
take mine off either.

- Want to make it interesting?
- No.

- Now, don't turn this into that.
- Into what?

When we were kids,
Honeybee always made me do

these stupid bets.
And she'd always win.

Not always. You went the
longest eating just pickles.

Yeah, but I got a really
bad vitamin deficiency

and I lost my
eyesight for 42 hours.

Well, if you think
bets are stupid,

I guess you might as well just
take off your foam fingers now.

No. You take off
your foam fingers.

Never. I want you to
bury me with these on.

Sticking out the dirt like this.

So everyone will know I'm
number one at being dead.

Judy, wait.

Your new painting sold.

Right before you
came in. Same fan.

Maude, is there anything else

you can tell me
about this person?

Well, I think it's a woman.

And when she paid, I did see

she had the letters RBG
tattooed on her wrist.

Could be for
Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Could be for Rhonda
"Balloons" Grundelman,

owner of the balloon
store in Death Cliff.

I mean, both iconoclasts
in their own way.

And her car had a
bumper sticker that said

"If you don't like how I'm
driving, check your sexism."

A feminist
who loves my paintings?

I'm going to find
you, sweet soul sister.

So, do you want
your 15 bucks or...

Yes. But I am also gonna

stare wistfully out the
window just a bit more.

So you're gonna stalk and
follow this mystery buyer woman?

Judy, I never want to
limit your creative ideas,

but in this instance, I
actually very much...

-do? -I've got to meet her.

I mean, it's nice to think

that an adult lady thinks
my paintings are good.

The only time my actual mom
showed any interest in my art

was when she made
me doodle on her bar bills

so the waiters would
think it was cute

when she left without paying.

And you're sure
this isn't just about

the summer solstice
mother-daughter softball thing?

Alanis, I don't even have time

to think about
something like having

a classic mother-daughter
catch anymore.

I'm too busy blowing
the damn minds

of the Lone Moose art world.

- Okay, I just...
- All right.

Sweet dreams, Alanis.
Got to get some sleep.

Big stakeout tomorrow.

Hey, Dad,

can you give me
a ride to Maude's?

No can do, Judy.

It's the cabbage's bath time.

O-kay.

I guess I'll go see if
Ham or Wolf can take me.

Wolf? Ham?

Where are you?

Aah! I've been shot.

No. My
husband, Abraham Lincoln.

Guys, can either of you
give me a ride to town?

Judy, please. Don't interrupt.

We're rehearsing
our historical pageant

to present to the cabbage.

Is Honeybee around?

No, she took Jerry bowling.

Thinks that'll make him
take his foam fingers off.

Aah! Aah! My God!

Fine. I'll just get Lone
Moose's Lone Uber

since everybody's
too busy for me.

Read the room, Judy.

You're in a crowded theater
and I've just been shot.

All right, Maude, I just got

to meet this mystery buyer woman

who's been buying
all my paintings.

So I'm just gonna
sit right here and wait

until she shows up
again so I don't miss her.

- You just missed her.
- No1

Crap. Kyle, I need
your scooter, quick.

What's mine is yours, Jude Dude.

Bring her back with
a full tank of gas.

- It's electric.
- You heard me.

Wow.

Looks like she's an artist, too.

- Wa-wa-wee-wa.
- Hello there.

Sorry.
I'm just doing a routine,

peek-in-into-your-home
home inspection.

And it's completely
normal stuff.

And, by the way, yours
looks great. Sorry, I'm lying.

I am not a peek-into-your-home
home inspector.

Um, I'm actually the
person who painted

all of those paintings
you've been buying.

Please don't call 911
because you found

a weird girl-lady
looking into your house.

What? Call 911? No way.

You're the painter. I'm Sherry.

Probably your biggest fan.

Thank you.

I just had to meet the person
who's attached to the eyes

that really like my art.

Well, I'm so glad you found me.

Your art... it-it speaks to me.

No, no, it screams to me.

- Really?
- Yeah, I was just scrolling through my social media one day,

and I was like, "Hold
the phone, chicken bone,

this would look amazing
in my living room."

So I bought the painting,
and it did look amazing,

so I bought another one.

No, I did! I swear, I did!

Well, they do
look great in there.

You seem like a really
insightful young lady

to me, Judy.

Wow. Thank you.

I do follow the Artist's Way.

Well, I bought the book.

I'm gonna buy the book.

You'll have to let
me borrow that one.

You know, Judy, I think we
were destined to meet here today.

And I think we're destined to
have lunch together tomorrow.

You, me, that new high tea place
in the mall, the Gentle Teabag?

What do you say? I'm buyin'.

Yeah. Wow. Yes.

That sounds fun. Thanks, Sherry.

Yay. Girls' lunch!

Okay, so here's my card,

just in case anything
comes up before tomorrow.

It's got my number

and, and my blog.

But, ew, it's so stupid.

Don't read it.

MotherGoddessMayl.com.

Mother Goddess... is that you?

Yeah. It's just this thing

some of my close
friends call me.

You know, like an
inside joke or whatever.

I can't even remember
how it started anymore.

But I already committed
to the domain name,

- so, you know, here we are.
- I get that.

It's like when I committed to
the surfer look in fifth grade.

I put zinc on my nose and
called everybody "brah."

Yeah. It feels like
we really do get each other,

- don't we, Judy?
- I really think we do, Sherry.

Come on. You can
call me Mother Goddess.

Joking. Joking.

Okay, see you tomorrow,
my favorite artist in the world.

See you
tomorrow, too, my favorite...

my favorite person who
buys my art in the world.

You guys will not believe
what happened to me today.

Look at this one.

I swear to God, our
cabbage is smiling.

Dad, text that one to me.

Are those biceps?

Is it weird that I think

he could rescue me
from a burning building?

So I guess no one wants to
hear what I was gonna say...

My pruning's really paying off.

- He's my pride and joy.
- Ham and I

sat down and watched
Garden State with him today.

It was
incredible. We all wept.

Wow, you guys are
acting fully bonkers.

Honeybee, you can probably
take those off. Jerry's not here.

You only think he's not here.

I guarantee you he's hiding
somewhere in this house,

trying to catch me
removing them so he can win.

I'm sure he's not here.

Bless you, Jerry.

Thank you, sis.

But I'm still gonna win.

Curse you, sis.

Okay, well, I'm gonna
go eat in my room

and paint another
painting for Sherry, I guess,

since she's the only person who
seems to give a crap about me.

Bye, Judy.

And how are we enjoying
our corgis in a blanket?

Royally.

Judy, this new painting...
it's breathtaking.

Your parents must be so proud.

Um, it's actually just
"parent," singular.

Just my dad. Who's great.

But his usual compliment of
"Another fine piece by Jude"

can only carry my
self-esteem so far.

Tell me more
about this figure in the stars.

It's in so many
of your paintings.

She seems almost maternal?

Well, I hope this
doesn't sound crazy.

I kind of see someone in the
Northern Lights sometimes,

and I tell her my secrets.

That doesn't sound crazy at all.

I also talk to... well, I like
to call them Sky Beings.

Really? You do?

Yeah. I've had
incredible conversations

with historymakers
all across the cosmos.

Albert Einstein, Serena
Williams, Dennis the Menace.

It's kind of the basis of
this spiritual stuff I'm into.

Now tell me about the boat.

That's my family's boat.

Your family has a boat?

Well, I'd love to see it.

Hey, maybe you can take
me for a tour sometime.

Hey, well, we could
even go tonight.

It'd be so much fun to
do something together

on the Transversal.

- The what?
- Sorry. Just a fancy term

for the longest day of
the year. Also, I'm sure

it's too short notice to go
tonight. So, you know what,

- just forget it.
- No, no, I don't want to forget it.

I'll check with my dad.

Well, if you insist.

Ooh, they've got free
mints by the register.

Let me go load up my purse.

Excuse me, could I get
a box for my leftovers?

My brother Moon's
not going to believe

they make whole sandwiches
only out of cucumbers.

Sure thing. Hey, are
you in that lady's cult?

What? I don't
think she has a cult.

No, she does. My cousin
Perry was in it for a month

while he was unemployed.

He only got out when
he moved to Wyoming

to join a different cult.

Anyway, I'll go box
these up for you.

All right. Well,
toodle-oo, Jud-a-loo.

Hey, let me know
about that boat, okay?

It'd be great to
continue our friendship

- in the next realm.
- Sorry, what?

- Cult.
- I almost forgot.

I made you a little something.

It's your moonstone,

your birthstone, your sunstone,

and just a little stone
I found in the dirt

outside my trailer that
I thought looked neat.

Here, catch!

You catch.

What? I-I made this for you.

- Thanks. Love it.
- What? What are we doing?

You're so fun.

Here just keep it, Judy.
All right, I'll see you later.

Mother-daughter catch.

Hey, Dad, before we all head

to the Largest Vegetable
Parade, could I, um,

- could I talk to you for a sec?
- Give me a minute, Judy.

Moon's insisting he ride in
the trailer with the cabbage,

which is ridiculous

because I need to sit back here.

Okay, Dad, I'll just ask
you my question in the car.

Gonna go grab my
sunglasses, BRB.

I said it once,
I'll say it again:

he belongs on my lap.

No one is riding
with the cabbage.

He needs to meditate.

Guys we're gonna
be late. Let's just go.

Please put on the mixtape
we made for the cabbage, Dad.

It's all Huey Lewis,
and he likes it loud.

Hey! Hey, come back!

Okay,

seems like my family
left without me. I guess

I don't have to ask permission
to show Sherry the boat

because no one asked
me for my permission

to adopt a cabbage and worship
the ground it-it... cabbages on!

"Hey, Sherry, I'm a-boat
to make you very happy.

We are on for that tour."

Cover his eyes. He's
gonna get psyched out.

He's shaking.

Well, if Moon hadn't
been so overprotective.

Sorry I give a damn.

Greetings, Lone
Moose vegetable lovers. The parade

to the judging tent
will begin shortly.

And remember, I
am the only judge.

No checks or balances today.

Look it's starting.
Sunrise, sunset,

et cetera, et cetera. Let's
all get along, here we go.

Hey, Sherry. You, y-you
brought some friends?

These are just two of my buddies

from my spiritual
group, Corey and Maria.

- What is up?
- It's amazing to meet you.

And don't get freaked
out by the shrouds.

I mostly wear it because
it has a lot of pockets

- to hold all my Beanie Babies.
- We have a thing later,

so I just thought
they could tag along.

Sure, I guess.

Yeah. Um, I'll just
give you a quick tour.

Welcome aboard
The Mighty Kathleen.

FYI, I'm gonna skip the bathroom

because you can
never truly clean

a 30-year-old toilet.

And here's the dent
from where I knocked out

two of my baby
teeth and then later

two of my adult teeth,
and this is the wheel I use

to steer when it's
my turn to drive.

You steer this big boat?

You truly are an
amazement, Judy.

You just have to take
us out on the water.

Well, I shouldn't
without asking my dad,

even though he'd
probably just ignore me

and say something
about the cabbage.

So, you know what?

Yeah. Let's do it.
Just a quick little jaunt.

Do you mind if I take
my Beanie Babies

out of my pockets so
they can watch us sail?

Um, yeah. Sure, that's fine.

Did you hear that,
guys? She said it's cool.

Well, this is it.

The mother goddess is
out on the salvation vessel

- with the daughter of the prophecy...
- Who?

And we're headed to
the Transversal Vertex.

What are you talking about?

Sorry, the Transversal is simply

the door through
which we can all depart

the earthly plane
for the multi-realm.

Yeah, me and the babies
just got to get to the next realm.

She looks really
confused for being

the daughter of the
prophecy, Mother Goddess.

All of this is on my blog,
Judy. I assumed you read it.

Did you... did you not read it?

No. No one reads
anyone's blog, Sherry.

It's not the '90s.

Well, let me give
you the headlines.

This earth will be
dissolving this very evening

and the lucky few
who are on this boat

will be departing
for the next realm.

And speaking of departing,

I'm just gonna use

the little mother
goddess' room real quick.

Hey, Corey, Maria, can
you keep an eye on her?

She's my favorite.

No. Cult.

I'm so excited to vibrate into
the next realm with you, Julie.

Yeah. Same.

This realm is... whatever.

Yep. And it's
happening just in time.

I'm in so much debt
from buying Pelotons.

I have so many.
I can't sit, stand

or lie down in my home,
which is also being repossessed.

And I've been collecting all
the Beanie Babies ever made

and I'm only missing
Large Wallace and his squad

and I can't find them anywhere.

But Sherry told me there's

a mint-condition
set waiting for me

in the next realm.

And to, get to the next realm,

you have to...

Don't worry. It'll just
seem like we're dying.

Perfect, great, great.

Well, well, this
was fun, wasn't it?

But I'm just gonna turn
the boat around now

- and, head back.
- Hey.

Aah!

No turning back now.

- God. -Catch her!
- Hey!

Sit on her! Maria, sit on her!

Footlongs! Get your footlongs!

Boy. They actually
have footlongs tonight.

Over here. We'll take two.

- Just let me, Dang it.
- Wait,

maybe I can get my wallet.

You guys gonna pay or what?

Are we really gonna
miss out on footlongs?

- They're our favorite.
- I know.

- Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Jerry?
- On three?

One, two, three.

- Aw, what the hell?
- Ha!

Honeybee Shaw, stupid
bet champion of the world!

Did I do it right? That what you needed?

You hired this guy?

- Hell, yeah, I hired him.
- Well played, sis.

At least tell me the
footlongs are real.

Of course they're
real. I'm not a monster.

Now I can finally
check my phone.

It's been days.

Hang on. What
the... No, Judy!

You're up, bud. Remember,

just have fun out there.

But also holster your
best stuff for the judging.

When we pass Mayor
Peppers I don't just want him

to see you're the best,
I want him to feel it.

I want him to know it!

Guys, Judy's in trouble.

- Beef, can you track the boat?
- I can on Londra's radar.

- What's happening?
- I'll tell you on the way.

Let's go.

But we have to be
present with our vegetable

during the judging
or we're disqualified.

Moon, no. The large vegetable

I care about the most is
your sister Judy. Let's go!

Hey, Santiago, you want

a soon-to-be
prize-winning cabbage?

We got to go save our sis.

My own cabbage? This
is the best day of my life.

You are, like,

surprisingly good
at sitting on people.

So, here's Billionaire the Bear.

This is Biscuit, from Biscuit
and the Gravy Dogs, obviously.

-And of course, you probably
know my extremely limited -Yeah.

Beanie adult, Chef
Jo ël Robuchon

- of the Four Seasons New York.
- Okay.

Hey, Sherry, I really don't
want to go to the other realm.

Nonsense, Judy. I've
got something very special

waiting just for you
beyond the Transversal.

Something you really want.

Nope. That's okay. I
don't think there's anything

- I want that bad.
- Please, Judy,

it's so obvious you're
desperately in need of a mother.

Someone who will
do anything for you,

and you'll do anything for her.

It's practically bursting
out of your paintings.

I can be your mother goddess.

And our passage to the
next realm will cement you

as my eternal daughter
of the prophecy.

Aw, that's so sweet.

What? That's not
sweet. That is crazy.

You took advantage of me.

You tricked me with
praise and bracelets.

Are you even an RBG fan?

Yes. Red, blue, green...
my favorite colors, in order.

And that's not a bracelet, Judy.
That's a planar shift passport.

It guarantees your
entry to the next realm.

And I'm wearing this
crown because it will alert

the dimensional gate
guards to my high stature,

which, again, Judy,
you'd know all about

if you'd just read my blog!

Okay, I am realizing
Alanis was right,

and I was looking
for a mother figure

because this time of
year blows for me, but...

but you're not it.

A real mother-daughter
relationship isn't about

doing anything for each other.

I didn't want to doodle
on my mom's bar tabs.

I wanted her to
pay for her drinks.

And also stop drinking,
but that's a separate issue.

Wow, you need my maternal
energy so bad right now, it's insane.

No, Sherry, you know
what? You're right.

I don't have a mom in my
life, but I do have a family,

and they are gonna
be real mad at me

if I bite it out here with
you delusional freaks.

I don't need you.

You didn't even get my art!

It's about inequality
in rural areas!

Aah! No! Chef Jo
ël Robuchon Bear!

Judy, look.
It's the Transversal.

Here we go!

It's just an iceberg,
you looney tune.

No, no, no!

No!

You ruined everything!

No. Did we
miss the salvation?

No. The
veil between worlds

is still super thin.

Let's just...
jump in the ocean.

No. The water is still
very cold in the summer.

You will die and there won't
be any Beanie Babies at all.

What? That can't be right.

Don't talk to my
followers, Judy.

- You are not my daughter.
- Ha. You bet I'm not.

And Sherry, I'll talk
to whoever I want.

Judy, I'm sorry we
all got so caught up

in the giant vegetable.

Thanks, Dad. I'm okay.

But I am sorry I took
a cult out on our boat.

And I kind of didn't
want to say anything

because I don't
ever want you to think

that you're not enough,
but I guess I have been

sort of lonely for
a mother lately.

But then, when Sherry
almost slammed me

into an iceberg, I was thinking

there are lots of ladies in
my life who care about me.

Like Kyle, who
lent me her scooter.

And Alyson, who
encourages my art.

And Maude, who let me hang
my paintings at her restaurant.

And don't forget about me,
Judy. You wouldn't even know

who Countess Luann de
Lesseps was without my guidance.

True. It's kind of like I don't
just have one regular mom,

I've got some kind
of Franken-mom,

and she's made up of
parts of different people

spread all over town.

An arm over here,
a leg over here,

a heart at the, the,
um, the gazebo...

And when you guys
aren't obsessed with a stupid,

giant vegetable,
you're pretty okay, too.

Sorry. We got kind
of carried away.

But I mean,

- did you see the cabbage?
- Moon.

Our lovable leafy lad
didn't even end up winning?

The cabbage lost
to the Tuntley's tomato.

Screw you, Judy!

Your paintings
aren't even that good!

Not true. I saw her
latest work. It was, in fact,

- another fine piece by Jude.
- Thanks, Dad.

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