All language subtitles for The Chronicles of Libidoists (2024)_cht
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1
00:01:26,417 --> 00:01:30,167
泳池的身體
2
00:01:30,208 --> 00:01:32,833
那年剛補滿水
3
00:01:32,875 --> 00:01:36,083
等著夏日戀情綻放
4
00:01:46,167 --> 00:01:48,958
當人魚救起王子時
5
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:55,042
並不會知道海裡的故事這麼深，這麼冷
6
00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:10,625
他以為是失溫的雞皮疙瘩
7
00:02:10,667 --> 00:02:14,167
靠近才知道是天鵝絨般的花瓣
8
00:02:15,875 --> 00:02:17,333
火辣
9
00:02:32,208 --> 00:02:37,167
原來這就是心動的最初
10
00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:38,833
純愛的開始
11
00:05:04,250 --> 00:05:06,375
像現在這樣半夢半醒的
12
00:05:06,417 --> 00:05:08,542
最舒服了，不是嗎
13
00:05:10,333 --> 00:05:12,333
想上岸啦
14
00:05:22,125 --> 00:05:24,375
時間到了嗎
15
00:05:24,417 --> 00:05:25,750
還沒啊
16
00:05:27,875 --> 00:05:29,792
我把時間延長了
17
00:05:32,917 --> 00:05:34,625
像現在這樣半夢半醒的
18
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,333
最舒服了，不是嗎
19
00:05:37,667 --> 00:05:39,625
想上岸啦
20
00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,542
幹，別鬧啦
21
00:05:56,292 --> 00:05:57,542
喂
22
00:05:58,167 --> 00:06:00,542
該起床囉，小綠老師
23
00:06:03,125 --> 00:06:05,792
可是我不想上班
24
00:06:06,500 --> 00:06:09,125
但每個禮拜一的早上有朝會耶
25
00:06:09,167 --> 00:06:11,667
不到的話校長會唸喔
26
00:06:13,542 --> 00:06:17,917
對啊，長官真的很雞掰欸
27
00:06:17,958 --> 00:06:20,792
沒關係啊，你再睡一下
28
00:06:21,958 --> 00:06:26,125
像現在這樣半夢半醒的最舒服了，不是嗎
29
00:06:27,875 --> 00:06:30,167
我夢見你在夢裡夢到我
30
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:32,708
你怎麼知道…
31
00:06:32,750 --> 00:06:35,292
你猜啊，溫馨提醒
32
00:06:35,333 --> 00:06:37,625
例會真的會來不及喔
33
00:06:38,958 --> 00:06:40,458
祝你今天順利
34
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:46,750
下去…我要上班啦，快點
35
00:06:46,792 --> 00:06:48,417
下去
36
00:06:58,750 --> 00:07:00,208
幹
37
00:07:00,250 --> 00:07:02,458
我今天早上夢遺了
38
00:07:03,208 --> 00:07:06,208
蛤，你在說甚麼
39
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:19,250
早上醒來整個床都是濕的
40
00:07:20,833 --> 00:07:24,375
媽咧，簡直就是
41
00:07:24,417 --> 00:07:27,708
水漫金山寺
42
00:07:29,667 --> 00:07:33,250
我沒夢遺過，也沒聽過哪個女生會夢遺
43
00:07:33,292 --> 00:07:35,000
可是我夢遺過啊
44
00:07:35,042 --> 00:07:37,542
不是尿的味道
45
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:43,250
不好意思，那是甚麼味道
46
00:07:44,333 --> 00:07:45,792
為甚麼有百合
47
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:50,042
百合遇到沈香有一種廉價殯儀館的味道
48
00:07:50,083 --> 00:07:51,583
蝴蝶蘭呢
49
00:07:51,625 --> 00:07:54,125
報告總監，報價太貴
50
00:07:56,458 --> 00:08:00,583
蝴蝶蘭的花期比較長，應該會比較划算吧
51
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,917
太太覺得敬佛的花不宜太過豔麗
52
00:08:03,958 --> 00:08:05,583
我折衷兩位的意見
53
00:08:05,625 --> 00:08:08,875
沒有減少太多蘭花，增加一些百合
54
00:08:08,917 --> 00:08:11,583
整體看起來也比較豪華一點
55
00:08:11,625 --> 00:08:16,000
大廳是給客人的第一印象，太太很堅持
56
00:08:16,042 --> 00:08:18,833
嗯，對不起
57
00:08:23,625 --> 00:08:26,917
欸，小綠，該不會你上輩子記憶還在吧
58
00:08:28,083 --> 00:08:31,458
不會吧，都切掉幾年了
59
00:08:31,792 --> 00:08:36,750
不過最近的夢好煩喔，很像鬼打牆
60
00:08:37,207 --> 00:08:41,207
一直夢到同樣的人，同樣的…
61
00:08:41,667 --> 00:08:44,000
你有沒有聽過
62
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:56,417
觀世音菩薩 煩欸，不是啦
63
00:08:56,458 --> 00:09:01,458
我說的是登登…
64
00:09:01,500 --> 00:09:03,250
反正就是某個固炮 沒聽過
65
00:09:03,292 --> 00:09:05,750
每次事後菸在我身上彈的那種旋律
66
00:09:05,792 --> 00:09:08,708
Care？沒救了你
67
00:09:08,750 --> 00:09:10,708
滅火群那個嗎
68
00:09:11,042 --> 00:09:12,875
滅火群都是群得來速
69
00:09:12,917 --> 00:09:14,625
褲子脫了就要吸
70
00:09:14,667 --> 00:09:16,625
純幹沒有戀愛感我不行
71
00:09:16,667 --> 00:09:18,292
我說的是自由氏
72
00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:20,333
群主自介說自己手指很厲害
73
00:09:20,375 --> 00:09:22,833
練過布袋戲的那個單親霸
74
00:09:22,875 --> 00:09:24,917
傳說中被他愛上的女人
75
00:09:24,958 --> 00:09:28,375
就可以獨享馬賽海鮮湯的那個
76
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:30,000
你們到幾壘啦
77
00:09:30,042 --> 00:09:32,583
一壘而已啊，就打炮
78
00:09:32,625 --> 00:09:35,417
頂多賽後檢討的時候
79
00:09:35,458 --> 00:09:38,333
一起喝啤酒，吃多多鹹水雞
80
00:09:38,375 --> 00:09:41,167
多多
81
00:09:41,208 --> 00:09:43,750
是不是有手牽手逛夜市啊
82
00:09:43,792 --> 00:09:46,583
白，那都到三壘了好嗎
83
00:09:46,625 --> 00:09:49,958
我好好的人魚公主不當，幹嘛上岸當人啊
84
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,583
而且他根本不是菜
85
00:09:51,625 --> 00:09:53,625
你今天不用上班啊
86
00:09:53,667 --> 00:09:54,958
病假啊
87
00:09:55,458 --> 00:09:57,542
昨天醫生都警告我說
88
00:09:57,583 --> 00:09:59,500
我快瞎了，叫我不要再用電腦
89
00:09:59,875 --> 00:10:03,958
小綠老師，你現在是不是在追劇
90
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,417
嗯啊，要不然咧
91
00:10:05,458 --> 00:10:09,458
阿公，過門囉 阿彌陀佛
92
00:10:09,500 --> 00:10:11,750
我找了好多妹妹圖來比對
93
00:10:11,792 --> 00:10:13,125
為甚麼我覺得我的…
94
00:10:13,167 --> 00:10:15,500
你視訊開出來了 啊幹，對不起
95
00:10:15,917 --> 00:10:17,292
阿彌陀佛
96
00:10:18,375 --> 00:10:22,042
欸，我覺得我妹妹形狀怪怪的欸
97
00:10:22,083 --> 00:10:24,292
每一朵花本來就不一樣啊
98
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:28,000
哪有，我覺得一定是哪裡有問題
99
00:10:28,042 --> 00:10:30,625
所以怎麼做，都沒有傳說中那種…
100
00:10:30,667 --> 00:10:33,125
昇天到南天門的感覺
101
00:10:33,167 --> 00:10:37,333
別喔，你去過那裡之後就會掉到地獄喔
102
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:38,417
為甚麼
103
00:10:48,833 --> 00:10:51,208
總監，新的信封打樣來了
104
00:10:51,250 --> 00:10:53,125
請您過目一下
105
00:10:54,458 --> 00:10:58,208
這個logo我記得應該要燙兩個不同層次的銀
106
00:10:58,250 --> 00:11:01,708
然後這個紙的磅數好像也不太一樣了
107
00:11:01,750 --> 00:11:04,750
執行長在預算會議上指示的
108
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:10,875
報告總監，客人快到了先挑一下衣服吧
109
00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:13,042
你決定吧
110
00:11:13,083 --> 00:11:14,375
選黑的
111
00:11:15,500 --> 00:11:19,375
今天我們鼎海跟DR建設正式聯手合作成功
112
00:11:19,417 --> 00:11:22,208
來，大家舉杯 可以上了
113
00:11:22,250 --> 00:11:26,125
謝謝白叔叔，我替我爸爸敬各位
114
00:11:34,167 --> 00:11:38,500
菊理媛，有意思
115
00:11:38,833 --> 00:11:40,583
姊
116
00:11:46,250 --> 00:11:48,542
Matt喜歡喝的是威士忌
117
00:11:49,208 --> 00:11:51,625
報告執行長，我去後面拿麥卡倫
118
00:11:51,667 --> 00:11:54,833
不用了，沒有OMAR的話就用不麻煩了
119
00:11:54,875 --> 00:11:56,167
是
120
00:11:58,792 --> 00:12:00,333
欸，Queenie
121
00:12:00,375 --> 00:12:03,042
我怎麼看你跟Matt像陌生人哪
122
00:12:03,292 --> 00:12:07,708
以後我們兩家可是要長遠又深入的合作啊 對啊
123
00:12:07,750 --> 00:12:11,125
其實我以前在紐約的時候就認識Queenie了
124
00:12:11,167 --> 00:12:12,958
想追她的男生
125
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:15,750
多到可以組一個籃球隊
126
00:12:17,917 --> 00:12:19,708
是棒球隊
127
00:12:19,750 --> 00:12:21,000
人比較多
128
00:12:23,500 --> 00:12:25,417
Queenie長那麼漂亮
129
00:12:25,458 --> 00:12:27,958
白董，你一定很捨不得吧
130
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,875
其實我這一次回來
131
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:32,958
已經偷偷的跟Queenie約會了很久
132
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:36,083
今天這一局呢，就是要順便告訴爸
133
00:12:36,125 --> 00:12:38,250
姐跟Matt兩個的事
134
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:43,167
Queenie你保守秘密的功夫太到家了
135
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:45,708
給我自己一個驚喜啊
136
00:12:46,458 --> 00:12:49,042
驚喜
137
00:12:52,417 --> 00:12:57,167
來，這一杯敬我們DR建設還有鼎海
138
00:12:57,208 --> 00:13:02,583
以後我們兩大家族要一起打造天堂與人間，乾杯
139
00:13:02,625 --> 00:13:05,417
說得太好了，來，乾杯
140
00:13:13,958 --> 00:13:15,708
是你女兒不想回去見你的
141
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:17,042
我們的事跟她無關
142
00:13:17,083 --> 00:13:20,333
我警告你，贍養費你已經拖了半年
143
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,542
布丁
144
00:13:26,167 --> 00:13:27,792
過來吃飯
145
00:13:30,875 --> 00:13:32,375
為甚麼不理我
146
00:13:41,542 --> 00:13:42,542
喂，Sammy
147
00:13:42,583 --> 00:13:44,292
我之前寫給Lucifer的歌
148
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:47,708
中間的歌詞我想改一下，改成
149
00:13:48,333 --> 00:13:50,125
你從我的夢中甦醒
150
00:13:50,167 --> 00:13:52,208
我還貪戀他身軀的灣
151
00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:54,792
海沒有岸，床沒有框
152
00:13:54,833 --> 00:13:57,458
你這是在寫3P吧
153
00:13:57,500 --> 00:14:00,792
我擔心跟他的純愛形象會有落差欸
154
00:14:00,833 --> 00:14:02,667
你考慮一下囉
155
00:14:02,708 --> 00:14:06,375
這句歌詞是今天早上我靈光乍現想到的
156
00:14:08,708 --> 00:14:11,625
哪個女生給你這個靈感
157
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:12,667
你啊
158
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:19,375
你老婆前兩天有打給我
159
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:22,958
我說你們哪，總是在輸贏
160
00:14:25,042 --> 00:14:27,917
這個週末我會去海釣會帶一點海鮮回來
161
00:14:27,958 --> 00:14:29,375
你有沒有空
162
00:14:29,417 --> 00:14:31,583
週末有約了，抱歉
163
00:14:33,083 --> 00:14:36,667
沒關係，你忙 掰
164
00:14:37,708 --> 00:14:39,208
欸，大家都到齊了吧
165
00:14:39,250 --> 00:14:40,833
到了到了
166
00:14:40,875 --> 00:14:43,208
昨天晚上我有查了一下後台
167
00:14:43,250 --> 00:14:45,583
《外遇》的預告片反應還不錯
168
00:14:45,625 --> 00:14:47,500
可是火沒有炒起來
169
00:14:47,542 --> 00:14:49,792
不然這樣，大家角色互換一下
170
00:14:49,833 --> 00:14:51,667
A組的「在那編」「在海編」
171
00:14:51,708 --> 00:14:53,750
你們改成用台男的角度去酸異女
172
00:14:53,792 --> 00:14:56,625
那B組「在天編」就用女性的角度去罵沙豬
173
00:14:56,667 --> 00:14:58,000
越兇越好
174
00:14:58,042 --> 00:15:00,292
不是啊，我不要反串異男
175
00:15:00,333 --> 00:15:02,375
認真的時候會真的生氣
176
00:15:02,417 --> 00:15:04,125
而且我心臟不好剛做支架
177
00:15:04,167 --> 00:15:06,250
你剛做支架不就是要趁這次機會
178
00:15:06,292 --> 00:15:09,292
測試一下會不會心臟病復發嗎
179
00:15:09,333 --> 00:15:11,292
新的一天
180
00:15:11,333 --> 00:15:14,333
要找新的題材煽風點火，興風作浪
181
00:15:14,375 --> 00:15:16,833
如果沒有別的事情，其他人先下線吧
182
00:15:16,875 --> 00:15:19,167
「在那編」你留下來
183
00:15:22,917 --> 00:15:24,333
失戀啦
184
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:29,625
那你失戀去操客人祖宗八代有比較開心嗎
185
00:15:29,667 --> 00:15:31,625
要操就去操真人啊
186
00:15:31,667 --> 00:15:33,292
約炮約起來啊
187
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:34,958
在你失戀的時候去約炮
188
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,750
全世界的人都不會怪你
189
00:15:36,792 --> 00:15:39,000
還會反過來可憐你，同情你
190
00:15:39,042 --> 00:15:40,458
教宗還會賜福你
191
00:15:40,500 --> 00:15:42,250
老天保佑
192
00:15:51,917 --> 00:15:53,458
我長話短說
193
00:15:53,500 --> 00:15:56,417
贍養費我已經信託了，去找律師拿
194
00:15:56,458 --> 00:15:58,958
是你違約在先不讓Lorraine回來
195
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,542
而且我要提醒你
196
00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:03,458
歇斯底里的態度會影響小朋友的人格發展
197
00:16:03,500 --> 00:16:06,750
請你檢查你的態度
198
00:16:29,167 --> 00:16:31,958
你看，我做的南瓜蛋糕
199
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:37,125
店長稱讚說吃起來有栗子的味道，很特別
200
00:16:37,167 --> 00:16:40,167
你自己親手做的，這麼厲害
201
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,833
那先吃你的
202
00:16:43,042 --> 00:16:45,167
這裡禁帶外食耶
203
00:16:45,208 --> 00:16:47,917
不可以嗎
204
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,500
沒關係吧
205
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:53,083
不好吧，等一下被發現
206
00:16:54,833 --> 00:16:56,917
你是怎麼知道我們的
207
00:16:57,583 --> 00:16:59,458
是「19.5」先認識你的
208
00:16:59,500 --> 00:17:03,042
我看過你們的所有影片
209
00:17:03,083 --> 00:17:05,000
感覺滿厲害
210
00:17:18,791 --> 00:17:21,541
欸，你不覺得很奇怪嗎
211
00:17:21,583 --> 00:17:24,041
是甚麼時候開始流行把髮捲戴在頭上
212
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:26,750
然後出門逛街喝咖啡的
213
00:17:26,791 --> 00:17:28,458
我也不懂耶
214
00:17:28,792 --> 00:17:31,375
可能覺得自己很瞎趴吧
215
00:17:31,417 --> 00:17:33,458
其實我覺得滿幼稚的
216
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,500
我們班很多人也這樣子
217
00:17:36,292 --> 00:17:39,167
喔，你高中生啊
218
00:17:41,042 --> 00:17:44,458
想不到你年紀這麼小就喜歡吃綜合口味
219
00:17:48,417 --> 00:17:53,375
今天我生日欸，就不能違規一下嗎
220
00:18:01,792 --> 00:18:04,375
要不要試看看
221
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,625
我的有沒有比較濕
222
00:18:18,750 --> 00:18:21,125
全線預備，開始射擊
223
00:18:33,458 --> 00:18:34,917
張家福
224
00:18:34,958 --> 00:18:37,250
聽教官說你槍法很準
225
00:18:37,292 --> 00:18:40,625
每一槍都打到要害你想打死嫌犯啊
226
00:18:40,667 --> 00:18:43,833
再不及格你就一直補考，不要休假了
227
00:18:43,875 --> 00:18:46,083
報告長官，我每天都在看監視器
228
00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,750
醫生說再這樣下去我可能會瞎掉
229
00:18:48,792 --> 00:18:51,042
瞎掉還那麼準啊
230
00:18:51,083 --> 00:18:53,833
既然那麼辛苦那你趕快申請職災補助啊
231
00:18:53,875 --> 00:18:55,833
早點退一退啊
232
00:18:55,875 --> 00:18:58,958
然後拿到錢喔，可以趕快再去整一整
233
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:01,417
讓你看起來更像真的女人
234
00:19:03,792 --> 00:19:07,125
我本來就是真的，謝謝長官
235
00:19:47,708 --> 00:19:49,208
喂，真的假的
236
00:19:49,250 --> 00:19:50,958
要烙人過去嗎
237
00:20:45,833 --> 00:20:48,417
七點半手術房的嗎
238
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:06,542
名字
239
00:22:08,542 --> 00:22:10,125
Bajingan
240
00:22:10,625 --> 00:22:12,125
安全詞
241
00:22:13,083 --> 00:22:14,000
掰掰
242
00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,167
再一次
243
00:22:18,667 --> 00:22:19,917
掰掰
244
00:23:42,292 --> 00:23:43,958
看清楚
245
00:24:31,708 --> 00:24:32,833
十
246
00:24:43,667 --> 00:24:45,083
九
247
00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:51,000
說啊
248
00:24:55,750 --> 00:24:57,083
八
249
00:24:58,583 --> 00:25:00,167
說你愛我
250
00:25:03,125 --> 00:25:04,542
七
251
00:25:09,958 --> 00:25:11,542
六
252
00:25:17,417 --> 00:25:18,667
五
253
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,000
說你愛我
254
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:28,750
四
255
00:25:35,333 --> 00:25:36,583
三
256
00:25:41,875 --> 00:25:43,667
說你愛我
257
00:25:52,375 --> 00:25:53,750
說你是我的
258
00:26:04,292 --> 00:26:06,208
小綠老師，好不好吃
259
00:26:06,250 --> 00:26:09,875
甚麼蛋糕啊，這是發粿吧
260
00:26:09,917 --> 00:26:14,750
正確來說應該是南瓜口味的栗子蛋糕
261
00:26:14,792 --> 00:26:18,208
欸…我排了一個小時的多多鹹水雞請你吃
262
00:26:18,250 --> 00:26:20,583
結果換來這甚麼，乾掉的發粿
263
00:26:20,625 --> 00:26:22,708
人家小女生一片心意嘛
264
00:26:22,750 --> 00:26:24,625
不然房費我來出
265
00:26:25,792 --> 00:26:29,208
不要，訂房軟體點數要過期了
266
00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:32,458
可是我不會過期啊
267
00:26:34,042 --> 00:26:36,000
蒜味很重欸
268
00:26:39,417 --> 00:26:42,750
蒜頭就是Pesto
269
00:26:42,792 --> 00:26:47,167
鹹水雞是南國Pesto佐嫩雞
270
00:26:47,208 --> 00:26:52,292
哇賽，你味精工廠啊，這麼會唬爛
271
00:26:53,375 --> 00:26:55,167
你要懂得觀想啊
272
00:26:57,250 --> 00:27:00,875
你腦袋裡面想著歐洲，就會在歐洲啊
273
00:27:06,542 --> 00:27:08,583
欸，今天有點奇怪
274
00:27:08,917 --> 00:27:11,292
上次吃腳腳的時候覺得是25.5
275
00:27:11,333 --> 00:27:13,250
今天怎麼感覺是26啊
276
00:27:13,667 --> 00:27:15,042
煩捏
277
00:27:22,875 --> 00:27:25,917
小女生搭了兩個小時客運你不陪她
278
00:27:26,625 --> 00:27:29,125
人很多，要排隊好不好
279
00:27:29,167 --> 00:27:32,542
齁，這麼夯
280
00:27:33,625 --> 00:27:35,167
她是「19.5」約的啊
281
00:27:35,208 --> 00:27:39,375
而且她後面還安排了一對孿生兄弟丼
282
00:27:40,083 --> 00:27:41,625
刺激吧
283
00:27:42,417 --> 00:27:45,917
這麼哈扣，然後咧
284
00:27:47,042 --> 00:27:49,292
然後我跟那個小女生
285
00:27:49,333 --> 00:27:51,833
就先在咖啡店裡面坐著等
286
00:27:53,458 --> 00:27:58,375
我們兩個戴著藍牙耳機
287
00:27:59,292 --> 00:28:01,250
很小聲的
288
00:28:01,292 --> 00:28:03,000
聊色
289
00:28:07,500 --> 00:28:10,375
我們家是傢具行
290
00:28:12,792 --> 00:28:15,750
有一次趁大人不在家
291
00:28:17,417 --> 00:28:21,917
我和搬運哥哥在倉庫裡面
292
00:28:24,042 --> 00:28:27,083
忍不住親親抱抱起來
293
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:34,500
然後呢
294
00:28:36,500 --> 00:28:37,667
然後呢
295
00:28:37,708 --> 00:28:42,000
然後，他的那個前面
296
00:28:42,042 --> 00:28:46,458
有點鹹鹹，腥腥的
297
00:28:47,583 --> 00:28:49,750
他的頭
298
00:28:49,792 --> 00:28:53,917
像繃到不能再硬的氣球
299
00:28:54,333 --> 00:28:56,292
好紅喔
300
00:29:00,917 --> 00:29:04,917
我跟他就在旋轉椅上面做
301
00:29:06,375 --> 00:29:11,458
一次次的在各種不同的椅子上做
302
00:29:11,500 --> 00:29:15,458
味道就都留在那些椅子上
303
00:29:19,167 --> 00:29:24,083
她說暑假的時候
304
00:29:24,125 --> 00:29:26,750
倉庫很熱
305
00:29:27,375 --> 00:29:32,667
流出來的汗水吹到窗口一點點的風
306
00:29:32,708 --> 00:29:34,917
涼涼的
307
00:29:36,625 --> 00:29:39,917
我在想如果有一天
308
00:29:40,542 --> 00:29:43,708
做愛後蒸發出來的味道
309
00:29:44,208 --> 00:29:47,542
會不會讓坐在椅子上面的人
310
00:29:47,583 --> 00:29:50,000
莫名其妙的發情呢
311
00:29:51,375 --> 00:29:54,042
第一次雖然有點痛
312
00:29:55,375 --> 00:29:59,208
可是他的龜頭慢慢的滑進來
313
00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:03,333
然後撐開
314
00:30:04,792 --> 00:30:09,042
撐開好像它本來就應該回到那個位置
315
00:30:09,583 --> 00:30:14,125
然後我的下面把它熱熱的包住
316
00:30:40,583 --> 00:30:42,750
那個來自火星的女孩
317
00:30:43,458 --> 00:30:47,000
看見了乾涸多年的游泳池
318
00:30:47,042 --> 00:30:49,500
一直在那裡等著
319
00:30:50,250 --> 00:30:53,375
這時候雨季來臨
320
00:30:53,417 --> 00:30:55,958
它才從睡夢中醒來
321
00:31:03,083 --> 00:31:05,917
你死人哪，打算繼續裝聾作啞是不是
322
00:31:05,958 --> 00:31:08,417
遇到事情悶不吭聲就是想激怒我嘛
323
00:31:08,458 --> 00:31:10,458
律師馬上就會通知你，等著…
324
00:31:22,042 --> 00:31:23,875
幹，白
325
00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:27,208
今天早上我又水漫金山寺了
326
00:31:30,792 --> 00:31:33,500
你每次聽別人的故事就潰堤
327
00:31:33,542 --> 00:31:37,458
你不是說單親霸不是菜嗎，還約
328
00:31:37,500 --> 00:31:39,167
飯店點數要過期了
329
00:31:39,208 --> 00:31:40,667
是PUA
330
00:31:41,083 --> 00:31:42,750
甚麼PUA，我怎麼可能被PUA
331
00:31:42,792 --> 00:31:45,083
我破麻專業戶耶，還不了解
332
00:31:45,125 --> 00:31:47,167
那種ID人設是情傷浪子的
333
00:31:47,208 --> 00:31:49,458
百分百就是要激起聖母情結
334
00:31:49,500 --> 00:31:52,875
你吃了那男孩一整年的牛排，接下來他就要你…
335
00:31:52,917 --> 00:31:54,750
含他一整年的雞巴
336
00:31:54,792 --> 00:31:57,542
欸，我們群裡那個涼圓要上岸了
337
00:31:57,583 --> 00:31:59,625
我在想是甚麼厲害的角色把她撈起來
338
00:31:59,667 --> 00:32:00,792
結果查了一下
339
00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:02,333
你看
340
00:32:05,250 --> 00:32:06,792
怎麼可能
341
00:32:06,833 --> 00:32:10,667
不是，涼圓不是外貌協會嗎，這男的是…
342
00:32:11,625 --> 00:32:13,125
天賦異稟嗎
343
00:32:14,125 --> 00:32:16,958
涼圓說一切都是緣份派他來的
344
00:32:17,458 --> 00:32:19,708
在她遇到這個男的之前連續幾天
345
00:32:19,750 --> 00:32:22,417
她一直做滿天都是金魚游來游去的夢
346
00:32:22,458 --> 00:32:24,625
她去大稻埕找了一個很準的夢婆
347
00:32:24,667 --> 00:32:27,042
那個人就問她說，夢裡面會有那種
348
00:32:27,083 --> 00:32:30,958
屁眼上面都是大便，拖著游來游去的那種金魚
349
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:34,250
涼圓整個嚇爛，想說連這種細節她都知道
350
00:32:34,292 --> 00:32:37,167
然後夢婆就說，你的緣份到了
351
00:32:37,208 --> 00:32:42,292
印表機…你們那個誰啊，不要在那邊假會好不好
352
00:32:42,333 --> 00:32:44,625
調了印表機設定就要調回去啊
353
00:32:44,667 --> 00:32:45,708
又不是每個人都會用
354
00:32:45,750 --> 00:32:49,958
隊長，這個是要給 給那個誰
355
00:32:50,167 --> 00:32:54,292
監視器，看一下監視器
356
00:32:54,333 --> 00:32:56,208
那再麻煩學姊了
357
00:32:57,500 --> 00:32:59,125
然後呢…
358
00:33:00,250 --> 00:33:02,042
本來涼圓一見面就想閃人
359
00:33:02,083 --> 00:33:05,500
結果下大雨啊，那個男的就說要送她回家
360
00:33:05,542 --> 00:33:08,125
哪知道雨大到根本連車都開不過去
361
00:33:08,167 --> 00:33:11,042
那男的就背她涉水過街回家了
362
00:33:12,375 --> 00:33:14,417
你梗鋪這麼長就跟我說這些
363
00:33:15,375 --> 00:33:17,000
沒想到一進門
364
00:33:17,042 --> 00:33:20,208
每天便秘的涼圓不知道為甚麼突然屎意充滿
365
00:33:20,250 --> 00:33:22,208
藉口要洗澡就衝進廁所
366
00:33:22,250 --> 00:33:24,667
狂拉猛拉，大拉特拉
367
00:33:24,708 --> 00:33:26,458
我要生氣囉
368
00:33:26,500 --> 00:33:29,958
那天淹大水的結果是大樓的屎管整個大倒灌
369
00:33:30,000 --> 00:33:32,042
噴的整個廁所都是
370
00:33:32,083 --> 00:33:34,500
涼圓就一直尖叫，啊天哪，大便
371
00:33:34,542 --> 00:33:36,250
好了啦
372
00:33:36,292 --> 00:33:37,708
那個男的一聽到
373
00:33:37,750 --> 00:33:39,667
不顧一切踹開門救出涼圓
374
00:33:40,042 --> 00:33:41,625
Happy ending來了
375
00:33:42,417 --> 00:33:46,083
那個男的把一切的屎尿都清得乾乾淨淨
376
00:33:46,125 --> 00:33:47,750
事後絕口不提
377
00:33:52,125 --> 00:33:55,833
就這樣涼圓決定，是他了
378
00:33:55,875 --> 00:33:57,333
全劇終
379
00:33:57,875 --> 00:34:01,125
你說，這不是純愛嗎
380
00:34:02,167 --> 00:34:05,708
白，我們去找那個夢婆好不好
381
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,833
不要，我沒有夢
382
00:34:17,125 --> 00:34:18,417
查無此夢
383
00:34:19,875 --> 00:34:22,542
就是我這邊找不到你說的那個夢
384
00:34:22,583 --> 00:34:24,625
有可能它根本就不是夢
385
00:34:25,583 --> 00:34:28,250
來這邊的人都是因為真假不分
386
00:34:28,292 --> 00:34:31,167
執著在顛倒夢想裡
387
00:34:31,208 --> 00:34:35,583
「假作真時真亦假，無為有處有還無」
388
00:34:38,333 --> 00:34:41,250
意思就是你把假的東西當作是真的
389
00:34:41,292 --> 00:34:43,667
那真的東西就會變成假的
390
00:34:45,250 --> 00:34:46,417
啥洨
391
00:34:46,458 --> 00:34:50,833
耐心一點，我們可以把這個世界變成真的
392
00:34:50,875 --> 00:34:53,125
姊姊那你可以先告訴我夢的結局嗎
393
00:34:53,167 --> 00:34:55,375
人生哪有快轉這件事
394
00:34:55,417 --> 00:34:56,958
至於
395
00:35:11,583 --> 00:35:14,875
為甚麼你的夢總是同一個
396
00:35:15,458 --> 00:35:19,000
一直重複…
397
00:35:22,417 --> 00:35:25,500
名字 Bajingan
398
00:35:26,208 --> 00:35:27,708
安全詞
399
00:35:30,542 --> 00:35:31,667
掰掰
400
00:35:31,708 --> 00:35:33,125
再一次
401
00:35:37,958 --> 00:35:39,042
掰掰
402
00:37:44,667 --> 00:37:46,458
說你愛我
403
00:37:58,375 --> 00:38:00,000
說你愛我
404
00:38:01,292 --> 00:38:03,208
說啊
405
00:38:21,458 --> 00:38:22,583
說啊
406
00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:28,500
說你愛我
407
00:38:28,542 --> 00:38:29,792
不要啦
408
00:38:29,833 --> 00:38:31,875
我就不要說那個嘛
409
00:38:54,917 --> 00:38:56,500
說你是我的
410
00:38:57,625 --> 00:38:58,917
說你是我的
411
00:39:00,667 --> 00:39:02,167
說你愛我
412
00:39:07,417 --> 00:39:08,625
你還好嗎
413
00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:14,667
安全詞
414
00:39:15,583 --> 00:39:16,583
安全詞
415
00:40:25,667 --> 00:40:27,500
你可以先走沒關係
416
00:41:05,042 --> 00:41:07,000
還有十五分鐘
417
00:41:28,375 --> 00:41:30,458
慢慢就不痛了
418
00:41:38,250 --> 00:41:41,625
可是有些事情會一直在
419
00:41:42,542 --> 00:41:44,167
不會消失
420
00:42:06,042 --> 00:42:09,500
你溫柔的慈悲
421
00:42:09,542 --> 00:42:13,500
讓我不知道如何後悔
422
00:42:13,542 --> 00:42:17,625
再也不可能有任何改變
423
00:42:17,667 --> 00:42:21,083
再也癒合不了…
424
00:42:32,250 --> 00:42:35,417
陳為龍，反正你就是個沒肩膀的魯蛇
425
00:42:35,458 --> 00:42:37,458
東西寄過來，運費我出
426
00:42:37,500 --> 00:42:39,292
不要再盧洨了
427
00:42:50,667 --> 00:42:51,833
Neko
428
00:42:52,667 --> 00:42:54,708
你再不回來
429
00:42:54,750 --> 00:42:57,208
我把這些公仔全部都丟掉
430
00:43:03,167 --> 00:43:05,458
你老母不要你了
431
00:43:39,958 --> 00:43:42,875
幹，吃我錢
432
00:43:42,917 --> 00:43:47,208
煩耶操你媽，吃我們20塊，還我錢啦
433
00:43:56,875 --> 00:44:00,292
喂，張小姐，你機台又吃我們錢啦
434
00:44:00,333 --> 00:44:03,792
吃我20塊，快點過來，快點
435
00:44:04,792 --> 00:44:07,083
這邊有啦 這邊這邊，過來，快點
436
00:44:07,125 --> 00:44:08,833
可以把它搖下來
437
00:44:08,875 --> 00:44:11,417
媽的，滾出來
438
00:44:14,417 --> 00:44:15,833
邊一部
439
00:44:17,292 --> 00:44:18,667
邊一部
440
00:44:21,792 --> 00:44:23,167
哪一台
441
00:45:04,083 --> 00:45:05,667
我兒子下週回來
442
00:45:05,708 --> 00:45:08,042
我想帶他去環島走一走
443
00:45:12,417 --> 00:45:13,708
這麼巧
444
00:45:14,375 --> 00:45:16,500
Lorraine剛好也要回來
445
00:45:16,542 --> 00:45:18,708
要不要我安排一下行程
446
00:45:21,625 --> 00:45:24,167
我們現在這樣不是很舒服嗎
447
00:45:39,125 --> 00:45:41,667
我最近開始又動筆寫小說了
448
00:45:44,167 --> 00:45:46,333
你又再度心動囉
449
00:45:53,042 --> 00:45:55,417
這次是哪個繆思
450
00:45:57,250 --> 00:45:59,917
是個像火星人一樣的女生
451
00:46:01,833 --> 00:46:03,708
跟其他人不太一樣
452
00:46:11,417 --> 00:46:13,417
那你還來找我
453
00:46:14,875 --> 00:46:17,667
你是我避免迷航的指南針啊
454
00:46:22,833 --> 00:46:25,417
你有給她專屬旋律嗎
455
00:46:29,042 --> 00:46:31,292
趕快去煮你的馬賽魚湯啊
456
00:46:44,125 --> 00:46:45,750
也不是這個
457
00:46:57,833 --> 00:46:59,667
好像是欸
458
00:47:03,833 --> 00:47:05,333
來吧
459
00:47:22,667 --> 00:47:24,542
不好意思，你有沒有怎麼樣
460
00:47:24,583 --> 00:47:27,250
衝啥洨啊 你有沒有受傷
461
00:47:41,333 --> 00:47:44,750
欸，那個，剛剛拍的可以發限動嗎
462
00:47:44,792 --> 00:47:48,750
喔，欸，你剛最後彈的那首是甚麼啊
463
00:47:48,792 --> 00:47:51,167
你說讓你很濕的那一首喔
464
00:48:12,292 --> 00:48:15,250
來我們腳放下去試一下水溫
465
00:48:17,250 --> 00:48:20,625
水溫可以嗎，那先泡一下，謝謝
466
00:48:22,708 --> 00:48:25,000
我的媽那個屄的把你屄的他媽操爛
467
00:48:25,042 --> 00:48:26,583
我操你媽的
468
00:48:26,625 --> 00:48:28,417
今天晚上他媽給我舔屄喔
469
00:48:28,458 --> 00:48:32,292
操你媽，聽到沒，啊，給我舔屄
470
00:48:33,875 --> 00:48:37,833
你看，我的是不是很硬啊
471
00:48:37,875 --> 00:48:39,833
這樣有很猛嗎
472
00:48:41,792 --> 00:48:43,000
啥款
473
00:48:43,042 --> 00:48:46,833
你猜，甚麼是巴西里佐海鹽嫩雞
474
00:48:55,292 --> 00:48:56,917
等一下帶過去給你
475
00:49:27,542 --> 00:49:28,917
還在忙嗎
476
00:49:30,625 --> 00:49:33,875
我是說多多鹹水雞啦
477
00:49:33,917 --> 00:49:35,917
好想吃多多
478
00:50:03,292 --> 00:50:06,958
（把女生的床弄垮了，哭哭）
479
00:50:17,708 --> 00:50:19,875
小姐可不可以先讓我填單啊
480
00:50:21,833 --> 00:50:24,750
這甚麼意思，沒了
481
00:50:24,792 --> 00:50:26,208
全部都沒了嗎 沒有囉
482
00:50:26,250 --> 00:50:28,083
可是他剛才在點啊 後面的不用排了沒有了
483
00:50:28,125 --> 00:50:30,458
我剛剛等了一個多小時 沒有了，都沒有了
484
00:50:30,500 --> 00:50:32,625
那你應該提前跟我們講，不然我剛才排…
485
00:50:32,667 --> 00:50:35,458
沒有了，就已經賣完了
486
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,000
哥哥，沒了就沒囉
487
00:50:44,125 --> 00:50:47,083
靠，你也讓我等太久了吧，你也真是
488
00:50:47,708 --> 00:50:49,000
幹嘛
489
00:50:50,417 --> 00:50:52,833
等一下，冷靜冷靜
490
00:50:52,875 --> 00:50:54,958
違反道上規矩不行喔
491
00:50:55,833 --> 00:51:00,042
有甚麼關係，規矩就是拿來打破才會爽，走啦
492
00:51:00,083 --> 00:51:02,875
哪有人在外面牽手的啦
493
00:51:03,375 --> 00:51:07,792
肚子很餓耶，我為了你排了一個多小時，快點
494
00:51:18,833 --> 00:51:21,292
欸不要忙了啦，先來吃啦
495
00:51:25,500 --> 00:51:28,042
好吃嗎 不太行
496
00:51:28,792 --> 00:51:32,625
是嗎，是因為你沒有裝在盤子裡啦
497
00:51:33,833 --> 00:51:36,667
這樣比較有吃飯的樣子啊，有沒有
498
00:51:38,125 --> 00:51:39,875
這就是好吃的樣子
499
00:51:40,917 --> 00:51:44,125
要確定耶 試試看
500
00:51:47,333 --> 00:51:48,750
怎麼樣，說實話
501
00:51:50,542 --> 00:51:53,083
嗯，差多多一點
502
00:51:53,125 --> 00:51:55,167
差多多可多了欸
503
00:51:55,792 --> 00:51:57,458
多多就跟我一樣是極品
504
00:51:57,500 --> 00:51:59,792
可遇不可求，想吃還吃不到
505
00:51:59,833 --> 00:52:02,125
啊不就剛好我撿到你
506
00:52:04,000 --> 00:52:06,125
我也是順路來看我的蘭花女兒啊
507
00:52:06,167 --> 00:52:08,583
你看你這個後母怎麼照顧的
508
00:52:08,625 --> 00:52:09,917
快要爛根了啦
509
00:52:09,958 --> 00:52:13,750
哪有啊，你每次打電話來我都有照著你講的澆水
510
00:52:15,792 --> 00:52:18,542
你就比較不會照顧自己啊
511
00:52:18,583 --> 00:52:20,875
你看你的床，睡到都垮了
512
00:52:21,625 --> 00:52:23,417
我之前那個專屬的藍色床包呢
513
00:52:23,458 --> 00:52:25,708
你真的很像我爸一直碎碎念
514
00:52:25,750 --> 00:52:27,708
你不要動拜託我自己來啦
515
00:52:29,000 --> 00:52:30,375
小心啦
516
00:52:32,833 --> 00:52:34,292
攤開啊
517
00:52:43,167 --> 00:52:45,500
兩個人一起換床單還是太超過了
518
00:52:45,542 --> 00:52:46,583
不要鬧啦
519
00:52:47,625 --> 00:52:48,583
幹嘛
520
00:52:48,792 --> 00:52:53,167
會讓你回想到曾經一起換床單心痛的回憶嗎
521
00:52:58,917 --> 00:53:02,375
幹，那個小屌男
522
00:53:02,417 --> 00:53:06,042
幹嘛 這是我最喜歡的小說欸
523
00:53:08,208 --> 00:53:10,708
你也喜歡這本純愛小說喔
524
00:53:11,083 --> 00:53:13,042
「最初的心動」
525
00:53:14,083 --> 00:53:15,583
破掉
526
00:53:18,083 --> 00:53:21,208
這當年在網路上連載超級好看的
527
00:53:21,625 --> 00:53:24,417
真的好想知道他們的後續喔
528
00:53:25,167 --> 00:53:28,042
不知道為甚麼那個二等文豪不寫了
529
00:53:32,083 --> 00:53:34,333
繼續寫會爛尾吧
530
00:53:37,667 --> 00:53:40,750
主角他們要是認識到最真實的彼此啊
531
00:53:40,792 --> 00:53:42,542
故事就結束了
532
00:53:42,583 --> 00:53:46,583
你說認識彼此，純愛就不純愛了
533
00:53:47,750 --> 00:53:50,292
我是說，你口中那個二等文豪啊
534
00:53:50,333 --> 00:53:51,417
有可能啊…
535
00:53:51,458 --> 00:53:54,083
他在現實生活當中只是一個…
536
00:53:54,125 --> 00:53:57,958
會隨便亂尬的…爛咖
537
00:54:04,458 --> 00:54:06,792
純愛還是太逼人了
538
00:54:08,583 --> 00:54:11,917
還是早點認清我自己是個破麻
539
00:54:18,292 --> 00:54:20,958
「人面不知何處去」
540
00:54:26,125 --> 00:54:29,208
幹，那甚麼破臉啊，幹嘛
541
00:54:29,250 --> 00:54:31,667
以為自己真的是二等文豪喔
542
00:54:33,958 --> 00:54:35,208
我是啊
543
00:54:51,000 --> 00:54:52,917
是炮友要接也沒關係啊
544
00:54:52,958 --> 00:54:55,375
我今天那個來，先去洗澡
545
00:54:56,667 --> 00:54:58,583
你那個來我不介意喔
546
00:54:59,417 --> 00:55:01,083
想要闖紅燈喔
547
00:55:01,125 --> 00:55:04,625
萬一我真的是警察，小心我開單喔
548
00:55:41,458 --> 00:55:45,208
是我自己不想回台灣的，你不用逼媽媽
549
00:55:45,250 --> 00:55:49,875
我不知道你在說甚麼喔，而且我沒逼你媽啊
550
00:55:49,917 --> 00:55:54,167
你手機拿高一點讓我看看你，拿高一點
551
00:55:55,417 --> 00:55:57,333
你媽在你旁邊啊
552
00:55:59,375 --> 00:56:02,000
那你的意思是我可以不用回台灣囉
553
00:56:02,042 --> 00:56:04,333
那你幹嘛叫媽媽找律師
554
00:56:04,375 --> 00:56:07,500
那你跟爸爸說，你為甚麼不想回來看到我
555
00:56:07,542 --> 00:56:09,333
我長大了，今年不想
556
00:56:09,375 --> 00:56:11,000
請尊重我的意願，掰
557
00:56:11,042 --> 00:56:13,292
Lorraine別掛，我再跟你說兩句
558
00:56:21,125 --> 00:56:25,500
泳池的身體那年剛補滿水
559
00:56:25,542 --> 00:56:28,583
等著夏日戀情綻放
560
00:56:29,750 --> 00:56:33,875
他以為是失溫的雞皮疙瘩
561
00:56:33,917 --> 00:56:38,333
靠近才知道是天鵝絨般的花瓣
562
00:56:39,917 --> 00:56:41,208
火辣
563
00:56:44,333 --> 00:56:46,458
我教你接吻
564
00:56:46,500 --> 00:56:48,958
想像那裡是她的嘴唇
565
00:57:17,792 --> 00:57:22,167
如果你是女生
566
00:57:22,208 --> 00:57:24,792
我一定會很喜歡你
567
00:57:34,833 --> 00:57:38,458
這個好像還不錯喔 還可以還行
568
00:57:38,708 --> 00:57:41,292
但跟我們家寶貝的氣質還差一點
569
00:57:41,333 --> 00:57:43,708
還在找真愛啊
570
00:57:44,458 --> 00:57:47,167
沒啊，那你呢
571
00:57:50,208 --> 00:57:52,500
沒啊，這些純炮友而已
572
00:57:56,375 --> 00:58:00,833
就算有真愛，你我都逃不出這一局
573
00:58:01,833 --> 00:58:05,458
你看我們，金童玉女
574
00:58:06,667 --> 00:58:09,167
我賭你先輸
575
00:58:11,750 --> 00:58:13,792
這是誰啊
576
00:58:14,958 --> 00:58:19,542
你外婆呀，外婆
577
00:58:23,917 --> 00:58:26,333
陳為龍
578
00:58:26,375 --> 00:58:29,875
我是望你成龍，怎知變成蟲
579
00:58:29,917 --> 00:58:32,375
整天玩手機
580
00:58:33,667 --> 00:58:35,208
婆婆
581
00:58:37,667 --> 00:58:41,875
好了好了不要拍了，快點啦快點
582
00:58:43,458 --> 00:58:49,625
小時候你媽當你叉燒不如，要把你丟了
583
00:58:49,667 --> 00:58:53,292
還好是我把你帶回來，養這麼大
584
00:58:53,333 --> 00:58:55,958
結果還是叉燒不如
585
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,750
陳為龍，婦產科診所我找好了
586
00:59:11,792 --> 00:59:16,458
下禮拜五，四點半，手術要有人簽字陪同
587
00:59:20,417 --> 00:59:24,833
還有後天實戰秀是已經答應的工作，一定得去
588
00:59:24,875 --> 00:59:28,667
你要是敢不來的話，我馬上把夾娃娃機的押金沒收
589
00:59:28,708 --> 00:59:32,292
最後提醒你，我不是你的狗了
590
00:59:42,625 --> 00:59:44,417
嘿，最近好嗎
591
00:59:46,458 --> 00:59:50,000
Jason，等下跟你喝
592
00:59:51,542 --> 00:59:52,500
嗨，Matt
593
00:59:52,542 --> 00:59:55,792
嗨，好久不見
594
00:59:58,542 --> 01:00:01,250
氣色不錯啊 謝了
595
01:00:06,917 --> 01:00:10,500
我今晚不回家，你開心玩啊
596
01:00:11,500 --> 01:00:13,250
走吧，玩到爽啊
597
01:00:14,167 --> 01:00:15,708
嗨，Matt
598
01:00:15,750 --> 01:00:18,292
恭喜 謝啦
599
01:00:31,417 --> 01:00:32,792
Neko
600
01:00:34,500 --> 01:00:38,458
對不起，之前的事是我的錯
601
01:00:41,292 --> 01:00:43,708
我們今天不要綁，好不好
602
01:00:44,833 --> 01:00:47,000
下一組Neko
603
01:00:50,375 --> 01:00:53,625
上工了，把你的苦瓜臉遮起來
604
01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:13,833
現在讓我們來歡迎 Neko和外賣屌
605
01:01:37,333 --> 01:01:40,417
寶寶的事我會負責，回來吧
606
01:01:47,125 --> 01:01:49,083
算我求你了
607
01:01:54,500 --> 01:01:58,875
難道我們就一點點愛都沒有嗎，一點點愛
608
01:01:59,542 --> 01:02:02,083
打炮甚麼時候是為了生寶寶啊
609
01:02:02,333 --> 01:02:05,625
幹，他媽我有說小孩是你的嗎
610
01:02:05,667 --> 01:02:07,625
快點硬起來啦
611
01:02:07,667 --> 01:02:13,292
你就這麼想讓人看嗎，好啊，看啊
612
01:02:19,083 --> 01:02:23,125
對，我就是隻外賣屌你想換就換
613
01:02:23,167 --> 01:02:25,500
你在幹嘛 我不玩了行不行
614
01:02:25,542 --> 01:02:28,042
幹，瘋女人
615
01:02:35,250 --> 01:02:38,167
欸新郎 過來過來
616
01:02:38,208 --> 01:02:40,792
先生不好意思，總監她還在補妝
617
01:02:40,833 --> 01:02:42,208
是不是再稍等一下
618
01:02:42,250 --> 01:02:43,750
是嗎
619
01:02:47,042 --> 01:02:51,083
對不起，你這禮拜有空嗎，我們老地方見
620
01:02:52,833 --> 01:02:55,042
來，家屬一起複誦
621
01:02:55,083 --> 01:02:57,458
阿嬤過門廳喔…
622
01:02:57,500 --> 01:02:59,208
南無阿彌陀佛
623
01:03:00,083 --> 01:03:04,417
這甚麼鬼，你們是忍者喔
624
01:03:04,958 --> 01:03:09,333
阿嬤入新厝喔…
625
01:03:09,375 --> 01:03:13,625
天堂歡迎你…還是地獄
626
01:03:20,625 --> 01:03:23,958
好看 拉一下裙擺，很好
627
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:30,000
欸，不要忘了笑喔，仙女下凡了
628
01:03:31,167 --> 01:03:34,708
很好ok，裙擺再動一下 記得笑
629
01:03:36,583 --> 01:03:40,542
記得笑
630
01:03:49,042 --> 01:03:53,417
蔻里安佐海味米濃湯就是海鮮粥加香菜啊
631
01:03:55,125 --> 01:03:57,500
蔻里安就是香菜
632
01:03:57,542 --> 01:04:00,625
這麼假掰你也猜得到
633
01:04:00,667 --> 01:04:02,208
算你厲害
634
01:04:02,250 --> 01:04:05,417
報告長官，這位女士要報性侵案
635
01:04:07,083 --> 01:04:09,167
當事人是哪一位
636
01:04:11,917 --> 01:04:13,333
這邊請
637
01:04:16,500 --> 01:04:19,333
我女兒一定是被強迫的 沒有
638
01:04:19,375 --> 01:04:21,458
你說甚麼沒有
639
01:04:25,208 --> 01:04:28,417
好…
640
01:04:29,458 --> 01:04:31,833
他們的確有付我外拍費
641
01:04:31,875 --> 01:04:34,958
怎麼樣，這樣有犯法嗎
642
01:04:35,000 --> 01:04:40,708
代號「19.5」「孿生兄弟丼」「單親霸」
643
01:04:40,750 --> 01:04:42,542
總共四個對嗎
644
01:04:43,542 --> 01:04:48,208
那你再猜，粥為甚麼放了兩天都不會涼
645
01:04:48,250 --> 01:04:51,958
因為週休二日
646
01:04:53,583 --> 01:04:55,750
也太心有靈犀了吧
647
01:04:55,792 --> 01:05:00,667
有一家超好吃的海產粥，我請你
648
01:05:27,042 --> 01:05:29,125
你到底在哪裡
649
01:05:32,000 --> 01:05:35,000
狗奴敢耍主人喔，你完蛋了
650
01:06:19,167 --> 01:06:22,833
沒關係，看你要去哪
651
01:06:41,583 --> 01:06:42,958
逆向了
652
01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:57,875
小朋友，小小樹苗飛啊飛
653
01:06:57,917 --> 01:07:00,917
小小樹苗躲起來
654
01:07:56,417 --> 01:07:59,542
會不會開車啊，單行道耶
655
01:08:02,792 --> 01:08:06,167
踩剎車，方向盤左打
656
01:08:11,542 --> 01:08:13,042
不要慌
657
01:08:21,000 --> 01:08:22,542
油門輕踩
658
01:08:42,000 --> 01:08:44,250
原來你真的是單親爸喔
659
01:08:44,292 --> 01:08:48,125
我還以為你是味素工廠，講甚麼都加料
660
01:08:49,457 --> 01:08:52,250
我是一個劈過腿說過謊的人啊
661
01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:54,292
但我後來學會了說真話
662
01:08:54,332 --> 01:08:57,207
就一切簡單了，就不會再痛苦了
663
01:09:02,667 --> 01:09:05,667
豬籠草喔，酷喔
664
01:09:06,000 --> 01:09:09,750
欸，沒禮貌，人家是仙履蘭，是蘭花
665
01:09:09,792 --> 01:09:13,582
幹嘛，又生氣 跟她說對不起
666
01:09:15,667 --> 01:09:16,832
我的花
667
01:09:19,000 --> 01:09:20,707
你把她救活囉
668
01:09:20,750 --> 01:09:23,125
我就跟你說不能澆太多水
669
01:09:23,167 --> 01:09:25,332
我不澆水她就活啦
670
01:09:28,792 --> 01:09:33,207
咦，你叫甚麼名字
671
01:09:34,582 --> 01:09:35,832
布丁
672
01:09:35,875 --> 01:09:39,042
布丁，布丁你好
673
01:09:40,207 --> 01:09:42,167
畫面有點感人
674
01:09:42,207 --> 01:09:43,917
牠大概有一百年不讓我抱了
675
01:09:43,957 --> 01:09:46,167
我不知道喔，我沒有勾引牠
676
01:09:49,625 --> 01:09:52,625
欸，不嘴砲
677
01:09:52,667 --> 01:09:54,500
我給你一次機會
678
01:09:56,167 --> 01:09:58,583
問我一個問題，我誠實回答
679
01:09:58,625 --> 01:10:00,750
保證不摻味素
680
01:10:01,208 --> 01:10:04,583
一個，神燈不都是三個願望
681
01:10:06,792 --> 01:10:09,208
貪心，好啊，三個就三個
682
01:10:09,250 --> 01:10:12,333
那你想拿甚麼秘密來換
683
01:10:19,750 --> 01:10:22,542
跟你介紹一下，這個是…
684
01:10:22,583 --> 01:10:23,917
我知道
685
01:10:25,208 --> 01:10:26,708
你怎麼知道
686
01:10:45,625 --> 01:10:48,708
現在餐桌禮儀不是要先拍照嗎
687
01:10:49,958 --> 01:10:52,958
可是我吃到傳說中的馬賽魚湯
688
01:10:55,667 --> 01:10:58,625
你的不一樣
689
01:10:58,667 --> 01:11:00,333
我加了粥
690
01:11:09,083 --> 01:11:11,083
我去洗香香
691
01:11:13,458 --> 01:11:17,792
我想跟你一起洗 不要，我還要大便
692
01:11:17,833 --> 01:11:19,625
好啦，我們一起洗澡啦
693
01:11:19,667 --> 01:11:22,708
不要，不行 我想跟你一起洗
694
01:11:26,833 --> 01:11:28,083
喔
695
01:11:29,500 --> 01:11:32,625
你有我一支還不夠喔，要那麼多支喔
696
01:11:33,667 --> 01:11:34,625
對呀
697
01:11:45,792 --> 01:11:48,667
小綠老師，手機跳提醒耶
698
01:11:50,417 --> 01:11:52,792
明天早上八點要幫學生補考
699
01:11:53,833 --> 01:11:56,250
幹，忘記，謝謝
700
01:12:02,125 --> 01:12:03,333
白
701
01:12:04,417 --> 01:12:06,542
原來他說的都是真的
702
01:12:07,542 --> 01:12:10,583
而且我吃到傳說中的馬賽魚湯了
703
01:12:13,292 --> 01:12:16,833
他剛還對我生氣，超好笑
704
01:12:33,083 --> 01:12:38,000
如果沒想去哪的話，就跟我走吧
705
01:12:49,375 --> 01:12:52,667
如果是比較快樂的做愛
706
01:12:52,708 --> 01:12:57,292
生出來的小孩，應該會比較幸福吧
707
01:12:59,875 --> 01:13:05,583
像我就是那種年終週年慶來一炮
708
01:13:05,625 --> 01:13:07,500
跟贈品一樣
709
01:13:08,250 --> 01:13:14,625
你才不是，你很特別
710
01:13:14,667 --> 01:13:16,917
好像火星人一樣
711
01:13:18,167 --> 01:13:22,083
反而都在問我別的女生不會問的事
712
01:13:24,500 --> 01:13:26,917
其實我只是想知道
713
01:13:26,958 --> 01:13:29,458
到南天門是甚麼感覺
714
01:13:31,292 --> 01:13:34,375
我好想知道那些人說
715
01:13:34,417 --> 01:13:37,750
幹死我吧，幹死我
716
01:13:39,083 --> 01:13:41,375
是不是死了以後
717
01:13:41,417 --> 01:13:47,750
隔天醒來就可以變成一個新的好人了
718
01:14:03,042 --> 01:14:05,083
別人都已經走了
719
01:14:06,708 --> 01:14:08,917
我們還在原地想
720
01:14:15,000 --> 01:14:17,167
他為甚麼這麼狠
721
01:14:18,708 --> 01:14:21,833
可是想想，當初自己也狠過啊
722
01:14:24,333 --> 01:14:25,167
因為…
723
01:14:33,042 --> 01:14:35,333
我不想再騙我自己了
724
01:15:42,833 --> 01:15:44,042
姓名
725
01:15:47,917 --> 01:15:49,875
說你愛我
726
01:15:55,333 --> 01:15:56,417
住手
727
01:16:51,625 --> 01:16:53,583
說你愛我
728
01:17:25,958 --> 01:17:26,917
別扯
729
01:17:26,958 --> 01:17:28,000
不行
730
01:17:28,042 --> 01:17:29,250
別扯啊
731
01:17:31,500 --> 01:17:32,417
住手
732
01:18:18,792 --> 01:18:20,750
我再也受不了了
733
01:18:33,250 --> 01:18:35,208
昨天
734
01:18:35,250 --> 01:18:37,583
今天，到永遠
735
01:18:53,250 --> 01:18:55,458
你愛我，對吧
736
01:18:58,958 --> 01:19:00,792
說你愛我
737
01:19:06,333 --> 01:19:07,625
爽不爽
738
01:19:08,000 --> 01:19:09,000
不要
739
01:19:12,292 --> 01:19:13,125
說啊
740
01:19:13,167 --> 01:19:14,208
不要
741
01:19:14,625 --> 01:19:16,417
爽要叫啊
742
01:19:16,958 --> 01:19:18,042
說啊
743
01:19:18,875 --> 01:19:19,833
說啊
744
01:19:20,583 --> 01:19:21,375
說啊
745
01:19:22,833 --> 01:19:23,750
停下來
746
01:19:30,208 --> 01:19:31,667
說你愛我
747
01:20:05,542 --> 01:20:10,542
現在是中華民國112年5月11日，上午10點30分
748
01:20:10,583 --> 01:20:12,417
偵訊筆錄開始
749
01:20:13,708 --> 01:20:16,083
姓名，出生年月日
750
01:20:17,917 --> 01:20:21,458
陳健元，民國71年7月19
751
01:20:22,542 --> 01:20:27,875
陳健元，你涉及用金錢誘迫未成年少女發生性行為
752
01:20:27,917 --> 01:20:29,083
我們有證據證明
753
01:20:29,125 --> 01:20:32,708
你跟ID代號「南瓜女孩」進行性交易
754
01:20:34,500 --> 01:20:38,292
我是有跟她見面，但我們只有聊天
755
01:20:38,333 --> 01:20:42,417
可是所有的嫌疑人跟當事人都指控你耶
756
01:20:42,458 --> 01:20:44,542
說你有參與其中
757
01:20:45,500 --> 01:20:48,917
我當事人只有到車站接送該女並沒有參與
758
01:20:48,958 --> 01:20:51,208
請警方協助調閱旅館監視器
759
01:20:51,250 --> 01:20:53,375
就可以證明我當事人沒有參與
760
01:20:53,417 --> 01:20:56,542
所有相關地點的監視器我們都有拍到你
761
01:20:57,583 --> 01:20:59,583
我沒有進去那家旅館
762
01:20:59,625 --> 01:21:01,625
我剛說了，我就只有…
763
01:21:02,458 --> 01:21:04,083
只有怎麼樣
764
01:21:04,667 --> 01:21:07,917
我就只有…
765
01:21:07,958 --> 01:21:09,667
聽她說故事
766
01:21:26,417 --> 01:21:30,208
學姐，你還在修那個未成年性侵案的旅館硬碟喔
767
01:21:33,292 --> 01:21:35,208
這我之前修過了
768
01:21:36,083 --> 01:21:37,333
沒關係
769
01:21:40,417 --> 01:21:42,292
那學姐不好意思，我先走囉
770
01:21:51,500 --> 01:21:54,792
（檔案恢復 6/100）
771
01:22:07,792 --> 01:22:09,667
學姐，我先走囉
772
01:22:13,208 --> 01:22:15,083
（檔案修復失敗）
773
01:22:21,208 --> 01:22:27,042
哈囉，對不起，這麼晚吵醒大家起來上工洗地
774
01:22:27,083 --> 01:22:29,333
那個純愛小王子性愛影片外流的事
775
01:22:29,375 --> 01:22:32,750
誰去查一下，他女朋友甚麼底
776
01:22:34,375 --> 01:22:35,750
我找到一個讚的耶
777
01:22:35,792 --> 01:22:37,917
他女朋友據說高中還沒有畢業
778
01:22:37,958 --> 01:22:39,833
就在林森北做撈妹耶
779
01:22:40,708 --> 01:22:42,083
真假
780
01:22:42,625 --> 01:22:45,250
如果是真的就不要說謊
781
01:22:46,583 --> 01:22:49,250
沒有比誠實更重要的事情
782
01:22:51,083 --> 01:22:53,708
是男人就擔下來吧
783
01:22:57,792 --> 01:22:59,458
「在天編」
784
01:22:59,500 --> 01:23:03,542
我想，你直接在論壇上寫篇抒情文好了
785
01:23:03,583 --> 01:23:10,458
你就寫你…
786
01:23:10,500 --> 01:23:11,833
夢見…
787
01:23:15,083 --> 01:23:18,917
當王子在歡場遇到那個女孩的開始
788
01:23:18,958 --> 01:23:21,875
其實就發現他原來是個人魚
789
01:23:23,583 --> 01:23:25,500
但王子不在意啊
790
01:23:27,875 --> 01:23:29,125
真的嗎
791
01:23:32,708 --> 01:23:37,042
愛情故事裡都需要純愛的王子，對吧
792
01:24:55,917 --> 01:24:58,083
硬碟救回來了
793
01:24:58,125 --> 01:25:00,667
其實我不應該跟你洩漏案情
794
01:25:00,708 --> 01:25:03,667
但你的律師晚點就會通知你沒事了
795
01:25:07,125 --> 01:25:08,500
太好啦
796
01:25:09,375 --> 01:25:10,792
謝謝你
797
01:25:12,792 --> 01:25:15,500
我現在好想衝過去抱抱你喔
798
01:25:19,042 --> 01:25:20,417
其實我也好高興喔
799
01:25:20,458 --> 01:25:22,542
原來你就是二等文豪
800
01:25:24,042 --> 01:25:29,792
糟糕，現在我的底細被你摸得一清二楚囉
801
01:25:31,833 --> 01:25:37,250
希望認識彼此不是關係破滅的開始
802
01:25:42,958 --> 01:25:45,542
我想再吃一次魚湯
803
01:25:46,000 --> 01:25:47,625
當然沒問題啊
804
01:25:49,292 --> 01:25:51,083
我找一間好餐廳
805
01:25:52,833 --> 01:25:55,375
去你的秘密花園就行啦
806
01:26:03,500 --> 01:26:04,750
也可以
807
01:26:07,042 --> 01:26:10,042
關於你的事情，我絕對不會告訴別人的
808
01:26:11,875 --> 01:26:13,667
我的甚麼事
809
01:26:15,583 --> 01:26:19,458
比如說其實你是個警察
810
01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:23,083
然後，又像是一個火星來的人
811
01:26:28,292 --> 01:26:30,125
我是真的不在意
812
01:26:32,542 --> 01:26:35,708
但是我希望你親口告訴我
813
01:26:41,917 --> 01:26:44,458
「我絕對不會告訴別人的」
814
01:26:46,833 --> 01:26:48,917
「我是真的不在意」
815
01:26:59,417 --> 01:27:01,333
好熟悉喔
816
01:27:04,167 --> 01:27:06,375
好像甚麼的前奏一樣
817
01:27:17,333 --> 01:27:21,083
我是真心的
818
01:27:21,125 --> 01:27:22,833
完全不在意
819
01:27:31,500 --> 01:27:33,792
連幹話都說不出來囉
820
01:27:40,958 --> 01:27:42,958
總之我現在是真的
821
01:27:45,667 --> 01:27:47,917
我一直都是真的女人
822
01:27:54,833 --> 01:27:56,625
我的神燈
823
01:28:00,000 --> 01:28:03,375
下禮拜我生日，有趴踢喔
824
01:28:04,500 --> 01:28:06,417
我還有願望還沒許
825
01:28:07,792 --> 01:28:09,417
通告再發給你
826
01:28:26,917 --> 01:28:29,542
我在老地方等你
827
01:28:29,583 --> 01:28:31,375
我給你兩倍的錢，三倍的錢
828
01:28:31,417 --> 01:28:34,542
拜託你來，拜託
829
01:28:48,875 --> 01:28:55,292
Neko，寶寶的事我們一起來想辦法好不好
830
01:28:57,875 --> 01:29:02,458
一起，你先想好甚麼叫做在一起吧
831
01:29:28,875 --> 01:29:31,250
你在跟我開玩笑嗎 那我剛剛打給你怎麼不接
832
01:29:31,292 --> 01:29:32,708
你現在給我立刻去機場接Lorraine
833
01:29:32,750 --> 01:29:35,625
你有沒有搞錯，Lorraine她才幾歲
834
01:29:35,667 --> 01:29:37,167
你怎麼會讓她一個人搭飛機回來啊
835
01:29:37,208 --> 01:29:40,125
她就是瞞著我買的，你現在立刻馬上去機…
836
01:29:46,375 --> 01:29:50,458
嘿Lorraine，你到了嗎，你先不要亂跑
837
01:29:50,500 --> 01:29:53,542
你跟爸爸說你在哪裡，我過去接你
838
01:29:53,958 --> 01:29:57,375
謝謝，我自己會搭車回家，我有鑰匙
839
01:29:58,417 --> 01:30:02,167
好啊…還是你…你這幾天
840
01:30:02,208 --> 01:30:05,250
喔，這幾天有沒有想要去哪裡玩
841
01:30:05,292 --> 01:30:06,500
爸爸陪你出去玩好不好
842
01:30:06,542 --> 01:30:09,042
協議裡面只有說我得回台灣吧
843
01:30:09,083 --> 01:30:11,125
沒有說我要陪你度假
844
01:30:11,167 --> 01:30:15,167
我回來了就不要再逼媽媽了，把錢給她
845
01:30:16,500 --> 01:30:19,292
Lorraine，你注意一下你的態度
846
01:30:19,333 --> 01:30:20,583
你可以表達你的情緒
847
01:30:20,625 --> 01:30:22,583
但不表示你可以這樣跟我說話
848
01:30:22,625 --> 01:30:26,042
麻煩檢查一下你這句話的邏輯好嗎
849
01:30:27,625 --> 01:30:29,292
你知道爸爸很愛你
850
01:30:29,333 --> 01:30:31,417
你把那句愛你對你手機裡那些女生說
851
01:30:31,458 --> 01:30:33,333
看她們誰會信
852
01:30:52,958 --> 01:30:54,917
希望世界和平
853
01:30:55,417 --> 01:30:58,042
希望我今天可以
854
01:30:58,083 --> 01:31:00,042
一步登天
855
01:31:04,250 --> 01:31:05,708
南天門的天啊
856
01:31:09,333 --> 01:31:11,000
我要你
857
01:31:11,042 --> 01:31:12,708
幹他
858
01:31:23,833 --> 01:31:26,000
警察姐姐的話要聽喔
859
01:31:50,417 --> 01:31:53,750
如果這一切都搞得像輸贏
860
01:31:53,792 --> 01:31:56,000
這樣好可惜喔
861
01:35:21,542 --> 01:35:23,125
告訴我
862
01:35:23,167 --> 01:35:28,083
你在我身上彈的是甚麼歌
863
01:35:29,792 --> 01:35:31,625
我不要告訴你
864
01:35:32,375 --> 01:35:35,792
告訴你故事就結束了
865
01:36:02,500 --> 01:36:04,167
幹死我
866
01:36:04,958 --> 01:36:06,625
幹死我吧
867
01:36:07,958 --> 01:36:12,375
我也想變成一個好人，我也想
868
01:38:11,500 --> 01:38:15,208
心，跳漏了一拍
869
01:38:17,208 --> 01:38:20,375
原來那就是心動的最初
870
01:38:21,000 --> 01:38:22,875
純愛的開始
871
01:38:32,500 --> 01:38:37,000
火星人在離開地球的漫長寒冷旅程中
872
01:38:37,875 --> 01:38:41,958
回憶著電光火石的瞬間取暖
873
01:38:42,875 --> 01:38:45,250
後來想起
874
01:38:45,292 --> 01:38:50,458
居然還有一點，火辣
875
01:39:12,625 --> 01:39:14,000
上岸啦
876
01:39:19,417 --> 01:39:21,375
甚麼時候再見面
56100
