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1
00:00:00,417 --> 00:00:02,336
[Principal Secretary]
Brought to you
by Voice Changer Pro.
2
00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:05,464
Be you, but mysterious,
but you!
3
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,383
[Principal Secretary]
Ants on a log!
4
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,093
I have ants... on a log!
5
00:00:10,094 --> 00:00:13,264
[chuckles] Ants?
On a log? For you?
6
00:00:14,849 --> 00:00:16,225
They're on a log.
7
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:21,646
We'll take two!
8
00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,231
[sighs] I'll need to sell
more than that
9
00:00:23,232 --> 00:00:25,316
to fix the cruddy, old
faculty lounge coffee machine.
10
00:00:25,317 --> 00:00:26,360
How'd it break?
11
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:29,363
It was under a lot of stress.
12
00:00:29,989 --> 00:00:33,909
[clamoring indistinctly]
13
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,124
[clamoring indistinctly]
14
00:00:41,625 --> 00:00:44,920
[both munch] Mm.
15
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:47,965
What? You don't like
ants on a log?
16
00:00:48,257 --> 00:00:49,925
I used to love these
as a little bird.
17
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,554
Everything looks healthy,
but none of it looks good.
18
00:00:53,846 --> 00:00:55,556
Hey, look, Helen has a table.
19
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,975
Health Muffins.
Buy 'em, don't, I don't care.
20
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:00,936
I bring coffee
from home now. [slurps]
21
00:01:02,146 --> 00:01:03,105
[sniffs]
22
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:11,113
Helen, this is delicious!
Mm, mm, mm!
23
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:18,078
I think I'm in love,
mm, with a muffin.
24
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:24,500
[clamoring, indistinct shouting]
25
00:01:24,501 --> 00:01:25,794
[exclaims]
26
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:31,926
[grunts, sighs, chuckles]
27
00:01:34,053 --> 00:01:37,389
So, you want to join
the "Helen's Muffins"
Sales Team?
28
00:01:37,890 --> 00:01:40,434
Before you do,
I'll need you to sign
these NDAs.
29
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,187
Wait, we don't get to bake?
30
00:01:43,687 --> 00:01:46,564
No, I'm the "Muffin Lady."
I do the baking.
31
00:01:46,565 --> 00:01:47,608
You're the salespeople.
32
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,111
Oh, yeah, then no.
I wanted to bake.
33
00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:59,244
I'm excited to see you
doing something positive
for once.
34
00:02:00,162 --> 00:02:02,456
I think the world
of sales sounds exciting.
35
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,626
Muffins! Muffins!
Get your health muffins!
36
00:02:06,627 --> 00:02:08,128
They're good for you!
37
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,509
Ooh, yum! I'll take ten.
38
00:02:13,759 --> 00:02:15,010
I'll take 11!
39
00:02:23,978 --> 00:02:26,772
Look, Bar, it's Tippy
from Let's Table That!
40
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:28,816
She needs a muffin.
41
00:02:31,777 --> 00:02:35,029
Hey, Tippy, uh,
how about a free sample?
42
00:02:35,030 --> 00:02:38,492
While that does sound lovely,
I already had a treat today.
43
00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:41,285
Oh, not like this one.
It's healthy.
44
00:02:41,286 --> 00:02:43,622
It's delicious,
and it's good for you.
45
00:02:43,956 --> 00:02:45,791
Oh, well, in that case...
46
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:52,047
Oh, my, my, my, my, my!
47
00:02:52,923 --> 00:02:55,509
Welcome to Let's Table That.
48
00:02:55,759 --> 00:02:56,884
Joining us today
is the creator
49
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:58,721
of Table Town's
latest health craze,
50
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,932
Helen, of Helen's Muffins.
But before we bring her on,
51
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:05,394
I understand she made
an ad! Let's take a look!
52
00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:08,647
♪ When you're lookin'
for a healthy treat to eat ♪
53
00:03:08,981 --> 00:03:11,025
♪ That'll make ya shine
from fur to feet ♪
54
00:03:11,442 --> 00:03:13,443
♪ It's really healthy
it's plain to see ♪
55
00:03:13,444 --> 00:03:15,486
♪ But we really can't
disclose the recipe ♪
56
00:03:15,487 --> 00:03:17,906
♪ But it's chock-full
of vitamins D and C ♪
57
00:03:18,323 --> 00:03:20,324
♪ And all the other ones
from A to Z ♪
58
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:23,245
♪ That's right, I'm here
to change your life! ♪
59
00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,916
♪ What's healthy
and it tastes real good? ♪
60
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,669
♪ Helen's Muffins
Helen's Muffins! ♪
61
00:03:31,045 --> 00:03:32,837
♪ What's your friend
and also your food? ♪
62
00:03:32,838 --> 00:03:35,174
♪ Helen's Muffins
Helen's Muffins ♪
63
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,633
♪ That's not all ♪
64
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:39,011
- What?
- ♪ There's still more! ♪
65
00:03:39,303 --> 00:03:40,887
♪ Are you ready for your dreams
to come true? ♪
66
00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:43,724
- ♪ Are you ready? ♪
- ♪ Helen's Muffins
Helen's Muffins ♪
67
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,476
♪ Are you ready
to break on through?
Come on, girl! ♪
68
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:48,352
♪ Helen's Muffins!
Helen's Muffins! ♪
69
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:51,189
♪ Are you ready
for a whole new you? ♪
70
00:03:51,190 --> 00:03:53,150
♪ Helen's Muffins!
Helen's Muffins! ♪
71
00:03:53,442 --> 00:03:59,530
♪ Whoa! Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Are you ready... ♪
72
00:03:59,531 --> 00:04:01,866
- ♪ For Helen's Muffins? ♪
- ♪ Helen's Muffins! ♪
73
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,578
♪ Helen's Muffins! ♪
[vocalizes]
74
00:04:04,787 --> 00:04:05,871
[♪ song concludes]
75
00:04:06,205 --> 00:04:10,751
Wow. Wow! And now,
introducing the witch
76
00:04:11,043 --> 00:04:13,669
behind Table Town's
newest health craze,
77
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:17,841
our resident Muffin Lady,
Helen!
78
00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,808
We've gotta start
by congratulating you
79
00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:29,561
on how quickly Helen's Muffins
has taken off!
80
00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,606
It's been such
an amazing journey, Tippy,
81
00:04:32,981 --> 00:04:35,067
and I did it all by myself!
82
00:04:36,860 --> 00:04:39,363
Ask me anything.
I'm an open book!
83
00:04:39,738 --> 00:04:42,949
Well, you're juggling making
a treat that is so delicious,
84
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:46,202
yet so healthy.
What's your secret?
85
00:04:46,203 --> 00:04:48,080
What? I'm not telling you
my secrets!
86
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,458
[distorted voice]
I wouldn't eat that
if I were you.
87
00:04:53,252 --> 00:04:54,878
W-- Why not?
88
00:04:55,212 --> 00:04:59,007
Not here.
Meet me after the show.
89
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,686
[gulps, munches]
90
00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,478
Principal Secreta-- Mm.
91
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,105
I think he wants
to be mysterious.
92
00:05:14,106 --> 00:05:16,316
Hello, Mysterious Character.
93
00:05:16,608 --> 00:05:19,778
So, you wanna talk
about Helen's muffins?
94
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,195
Listen carefully.
95
00:05:21,196 --> 00:05:22,864
The only way
to get to the truth
96
00:05:22,865 --> 00:05:25,450
is to focus on
"the ingredients."
97
00:05:27,119 --> 00:05:28,245
The ingredients?
98
00:05:28,495 --> 00:05:31,789
Yes. And ask yourselves,
what's really going on
99
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:33,250
beneath the muffin top?
100
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,919
Ah, I've said too much.
101
00:05:38,005 --> 00:05:39,755
Why couldn't you tell us
that at the studio,
102
00:05:39,756 --> 00:05:41,091
Mysterious Stranger?
103
00:05:42,050 --> 00:05:44,594
I was hungry!
You don't mind paying, do you?
104
00:05:44,595 --> 00:05:46,179
I lost money
on the bake sale this year--
105
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,681
I mean, the stock market.
106
00:05:48,974 --> 00:05:50,392
PS away!
107
00:05:57,107 --> 00:05:59,735
[♪ tense music playing]
108
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,114
Well, I'm off to whip up
a new batch
109
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,700
of these miracle
health muffins.
110
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:08,368
- Great!
- Great!
111
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:19,630
[computer beeps]
112
00:06:21,757 --> 00:06:24,885
Oh. Whoa. Holy smokes.
113
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,720
Tell us, Professor Totsy.
114
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:28,764
What terrible things
are in this muffin?
115
00:06:29,097 --> 00:06:30,474
I... I can't.
116
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:31,975
Why not?
117
00:06:32,351 --> 00:06:34,977
I can't because according
to science,
118
00:06:34,978 --> 00:06:36,188
this isn't a muffin...
119
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:38,857
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- It's a cupcake!
120
00:06:39,107 --> 00:06:41,859
- A cupcake?
- A cupcake!
121
00:06:41,860 --> 00:06:43,362
Oh, no.
122
00:06:48,325 --> 00:06:51,577
What? That's a very serious
accusation.
123
00:06:51,578 --> 00:06:52,996
And very wrong of you.
124
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:54,705
Of course, my muffins
are muffins!
125
00:06:54,706 --> 00:06:55,624
Says so right here!
126
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,959
Oh, give it up.
127
00:06:57,960 --> 00:07:00,128
We had them
scientifically analyzed!
128
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:05,634
Fine, you're both fired.
And you signed the NDA, right?
129
00:07:06,009 --> 00:07:08,887
Yes! But we don't know
what that means.
130
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,306
It means you can't say
anything bad about my muffins.
131
00:07:12,307 --> 00:07:14,518
Why would anybody
sign something like that?
132
00:07:14,726 --> 00:07:17,187
[chuckles] I really don't know.
133
00:07:24,736 --> 00:07:27,154
Barry, I don't think
I can let this stand.
134
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:28,574
It's not right!
135
00:07:29,074 --> 00:07:31,410
[♪ mysterious music playing]
136
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,376
[Helen yelps]
137
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:40,711
[Helen chuckles]
138
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:44,298
An oven thermometer?
139
00:07:44,881 --> 00:07:48,719
I think... Is this some kind
of reminder from Helen
not to talk?
140
00:07:49,094 --> 00:07:50,304
Eh, what's the message?
141
00:07:50,512 --> 00:07:52,514
Is it like
"the heat is on" or...?
142
00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,016
Eh.
143
00:07:54,558 --> 00:07:56,392
Either way, free thermometer.
144
00:07:56,393 --> 00:08:00,021
No. This pathetic attempt
at intimidation
145
00:08:00,022 --> 00:08:01,481
has only strengthened
my resolve.
146
00:08:01,815 --> 00:08:04,276
We have to let the public
know what Helen is up to.
147
00:08:07,112 --> 00:08:08,654
[phone ringing]
148
00:08:08,655 --> 00:08:09,698
Tippy Snooker.
149
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:11,950
[distorted voice]
Tippy, I'm calling
with a tip off.
150
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:14,327
A tip off for Tippy. [chuckles]
151
00:08:14,328 --> 00:08:15,454
I'm listening.
152
00:08:15,704 --> 00:08:17,371
What if I told you I have
a story
153
00:08:17,372 --> 00:08:19,416
that's gonna crack
Table Town wide open?
154
00:08:19,791 --> 00:08:22,711
Uh, well, we usually
do slice-of-life
type of stories.
155
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:24,254
[shushes]
156
00:08:24,588 --> 00:08:26,297
What if I told you
that Helen's Muffins
157
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:29,259
are actually... cupcakes?
158
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,096
How soon can you get here?
159
00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:42,396
- Were you followed?
- No.
160
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:44,316
- And your informant?
- He's safe.
161
00:08:44,566 --> 00:08:46,443
Good. Let's get you both mic'd.
162
00:08:47,611 --> 00:08:48,695
[coughs]
163
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:52,532
Okay, places, please.
In five, four...
164
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:59,205
One moment. I'm sorry,
but our bombshell
165
00:08:59,206 --> 00:09:02,167
muffin-cake exposé
was just shut down
166
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,835
by the powers that be.
167
00:09:04,961 --> 00:09:06,421
Shut it down, people!
168
00:09:06,880 --> 00:09:07,963
[bells ringing]
169
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,298
Wait, what?
170
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,258
Who are the powers that be?
171
00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:15,889
Me... am the powers that be.
172
00:09:16,723 --> 00:09:17,933
Glarbin?
173
00:09:18,308 --> 00:09:20,810
Yes. [munches]
174
00:09:20,811 --> 00:09:22,520
Glarbin, you can't do this.
175
00:09:22,521 --> 00:09:24,063
We have to tell people
the truth.
176
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,107
Do we though?
177
00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,818
If Tabletonians discovered
that the healthy muffins
178
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:31,196
they've been eating
are actually cupcakes,
179
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:36,201
it would destroy public faith
in our basic institutions.
180
00:09:36,660 --> 00:09:38,704
People need something
to believe in.
181
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,499
- But the cupcakes!
- But the... But the cupcakes!
182
00:09:47,587 --> 00:09:49,172
Sorry!
183
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:54,260
[laughs] Oh, welcome back
to Let's Table That.
184
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,595
I'm your host, Tippy Snooker.
185
00:09:56,596 --> 00:09:59,348
Tonight's story:
"Rubbing your belly
while patting your head."
186
00:09:59,349 --> 00:10:01,725
Science fiction,
or the latest teen craze?
187
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:02,811
We investigate.
188
00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,732
[scoffs] Oh, it's not over yet.
189
00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:13,154
- Here are the cold, hard facts!
- The muffin is no muffin.
190
00:10:13,155 --> 00:10:15,072
It's a cupcake, everyone!
It's a cupcake, not a muffin.
191
00:10:15,073 --> 00:10:17,117
- It is instead a cupcake.
- A regular, sugar-laden cupcake.
192
00:10:17,492 --> 00:10:19,494
Well, I'm sick of it!
Deal with it, Mom!
193
00:10:19,744 --> 00:10:22,330
[groans] I am done with muffins.
194
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:23,831
Oh, my gosh, Helen.
195
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:25,584
You're ready to do
the right thing, finally?
196
00:10:25,876 --> 00:10:27,461
The what? No.
197
00:10:28,211 --> 00:10:33,049
Now, that I'm the Muffin Lady,
my agent will only send me
out for silent baker roles.
198
00:10:33,216 --> 00:10:34,384
I'm never making
a muffin again.
199
00:10:34,676 --> 00:10:36,553
You never made a muffin
to begin with!
200
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,890
- The power of protest.
- The power of protest.
201
00:10:44,561 --> 00:10:47,022
The ants are the raisins.
[munches]
202
00:10:48,148 --> 00:10:50,400
[♪ end credit music playing]
203
00:11:12,506 --> 00:11:14,508
[♪ end credit music concludes]
15184
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