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1
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,628
- [♪ theme music playing]
- ♪ Kiff! ♪
2
00:00:03,754 --> 00:00:04,963
♪ Kiff! Kiff! ♪
3
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,216
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
4
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:11,552
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
5
00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:16,599
♪ Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff!
Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ♪
6
00:00:16,600 --> 00:00:17,975
♪ Yeah ♪
7
00:00:17,976 --> 00:00:19,186
- ♪ Kiff! ♪
- [♪ theme music concludes]
8
00:00:20,771 --> 00:00:24,316
[both chuckle]
9
00:00:24,942 --> 00:00:28,695
[narrator] Brought to you
by Aggy Memnon's hot tub robes!
10
00:00:31,031 --> 00:00:33,700
[♪ slow mysterious music
playing]
11
00:00:45,337 --> 00:00:46,338
[zaps]
12
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:51,760
[gasps]
13
00:00:57,849 --> 00:01:03,854
[in alien language]
14
00:01:03,855 --> 00:01:05,691
[shushes]
15
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,987
Sorry, Miss Moufflé.
I'll check this book out
16
00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,114
so we can gasp at this
space fantasy masterpiece
at home.
17
00:01:13,115 --> 00:01:15,032
[sighs] At the rate
you both read,
18
00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,076
better take volume two home, too.
19
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,494
There's a volume two, too?
20
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:20,580
I don't even wanna be around
when you find out
21
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,958
they're making
Star Star Throne Quest
into a TV series.
22
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,544
- A TV series?
- A TV series?
23
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:32,134
[narrator] The stars
on this planet shine bright.
24
00:01:34,136 --> 00:01:37,681
This Zamien holds favor
with too many systems.
25
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:40,892
- It's me, Zamien!
- [gasps]
26
00:01:41,059 --> 00:01:42,185
[both gasp]
27
00:01:46,273 --> 00:01:48,692
- [shouts]
- [roaring]
28
00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:52,154
[Zamien] Must not die! Run!
29
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:55,240
[♪ grand dramatic music playing]
30
00:01:59,619 --> 00:02:03,582
All that, and it stars
Giancarlo from Smoldering Cove
31
00:02:03,915 --> 00:02:06,209
as the space-buckling hero
Space Friar Zamien?
32
00:02:06,543 --> 00:02:08,170
[hesitates] Do you wanna
watch it at your place or mine?
33
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:11,422
Barry? Barry?
Don't you understand?
34
00:02:11,423 --> 00:02:13,007
We can't watch SSTQ yet.
35
00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:15,510
- Why not?
- We need to finish the books.
36
00:02:15,927 --> 00:02:19,305
Only then can we
fully appreciate
this sure-to-be-amazing show.
37
00:02:19,306 --> 00:02:21,183
Okay, you're right. Let's do it.
38
00:02:21,642 --> 00:02:24,644
Well, if you're gonna do this,
you better go ahead
and take all 15 volumes.
39
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:27,563
No one ever said being
a fan of something
40
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:30,400
would be easy or enjoyable.
I wheel. You read.
41
00:02:30,817 --> 00:02:34,196
[♪ adventurous sci-fi music
playing]
42
00:02:36,198 --> 00:02:37,866
[inaudible]
43
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,252
"...floating in the midst
of space,
44
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,713
"Zamien knew
his Star Star Throne Quest
45
00:02:51,963 --> 00:02:53,548
"was just beginning."
46
00:02:54,132 --> 00:02:55,342
One down.
47
00:02:58,011 --> 00:02:59,595
[gulps] Kiff,
do you really think
48
00:02:59,596 --> 00:03:02,265
we can finish the series?
It's so long.
49
00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:04,266
This schedule accounts
for every free second
50
00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,185
that we're gonna spend
reading
51
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:07,187
between classes,
during recess,
52
00:03:07,479 --> 00:03:10,565
in the bathroom.
We're gonna be just fine.
53
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:17,948
You guys catch SSTQ?
So crazy!
54
00:03:18,740 --> 00:03:21,784
Four major characters
banished to the Nowhere Zone
55
00:03:21,785 --> 00:03:23,453
- in the first half?
- [yelps] Stop!
56
00:03:23,787 --> 00:03:26,080
I'm reading it first.
I didn't account for spoilers.
57
00:03:26,081 --> 00:03:28,249
Sorry. I barely spoiled
anything.
58
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:29,500
I didn't even say
that King Krendall
59
00:03:29,501 --> 00:03:31,001
was a sentient black hole.
60
00:03:31,002 --> 00:03:32,211
[shouts, wails]
61
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,798
Why-- Why-- Why--
why would you?
62
00:03:36,925 --> 00:03:40,386
Oh! You're the Chancellor
after the battle to save Zam--
63
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,180
[shouts] No, no, no,
no, no, no, no!
64
00:03:42,681 --> 00:03:44,558
[panting]
65
00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:48,687
[grunts, breathes heavily]
66
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:50,689
[pants] Okay.
67
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,731
There's gonna be
another episode on tonight,
68
00:03:52,732 --> 00:03:54,776
another tomorrow,
and another the next day.
69
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:58,363
And outside that door
is a spoiler-laden
nightmare garden.
70
00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:03,076
But this library
is a spoiler-free oasis!
71
00:04:03,243 --> 00:04:04,410
[shushes]
72
00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,539
If we read here,
any potential spoilers will n--
73
00:04:07,747 --> 00:04:08,748
[shushes]
74
00:04:21,303 --> 00:04:23,637
[Barry] How long can you
keep this up, Kiff?
75
00:04:23,638 --> 00:04:25,390
I mean, I've already given up.
76
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,516
You have?
77
00:04:26,892 --> 00:04:30,270
Yeah. I stopped reading
a couple hours ago.
78
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,772
But I could guard the door,
bring you snacks.
79
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,357
Thanks, pal.
80
00:04:39,029 --> 00:04:40,779
Uh, we need the Hush Room?
81
00:04:40,780 --> 00:04:43,324
Can't. Kiff's in there reading
the SSTQ series
82
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:44,910
before she watches the show.
83
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,828
Aren't there like a million
of them?
84
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:48,454
Yeah, but the books
are full of lore
85
00:04:48,455 --> 00:04:50,289
that casuals
wouldn't understand.
86
00:04:50,290 --> 00:04:51,833
[student] Full of lore?
87
00:04:53,335 --> 00:04:55,462
Run along now, children.
88
00:04:57,005 --> 00:05:00,634
♪ Let me tell you all
of a tale I know ♪
89
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:03,762
♪ About a squirrel who read
every book ♪
90
00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:07,098
♪ Before watchin' the show ♪
91
00:05:07,349 --> 00:05:09,600
♪ When it came to lore ♪
92
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:12,603
♪ She knew the books had more
So much more ♪
93
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:15,065
♪ She locked herself away ♪
94
00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,652
♪ To keep
those nasty spoilers at bay ♪
95
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:26,159
♪ She read and read and read
Day after day after day ♪
96
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,036
♪ Yee-haw ♪
97
00:05:29,454 --> 00:05:30,997
♪ And then word spread... ♪
98
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:32,582
Dreams do come true.
99
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:35,794
♪ And people started
reading books again ♪
100
00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:41,341
♪ It was a pretty magical thing
that happened ♪
101
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,802
♪ In that far-off land known
as Table Town ♪
102
00:05:44,803 --> 00:05:48,514
♪ And that's my song about
Kiff the Spoiler-Avoidin'
Squirrel ♪
103
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:51,810
- [phone chimes]
- Ah, the ratings
of last night's ep--
104
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:56,356
[gasps] No one watched?
105
00:05:57,023 --> 00:06:00,110
No one? Kenny!
106
00:06:01,027 --> 00:06:03,196
Why isn't anyone watching
my new show?
107
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:05,866
Uh, your show
might be tanking
108
00:06:06,199 --> 00:06:08,702
because of the folk hero, Kiff,
who is inspiring us,
109
00:06:08,994 --> 00:06:11,203
I mean, everyone else,
to read the books
110
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,830
instead of watching it on TV.
111
00:06:12,831 --> 00:06:15,125
Reading? Why read
when you can watch...
112
00:06:15,876 --> 00:06:17,335
me on TV!
113
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:22,340
This Kiff needs
to be taken down a peg.
114
00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:27,845
The Portex destroyed.
115
00:06:27,846 --> 00:06:30,432
Zamien betrayed
by DarkStar Pirates.
116
00:06:30,849 --> 00:06:34,143
And a clone sits upon
the Star Star Throne?
117
00:06:34,144 --> 00:06:35,353
Here's the last book.
118
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,816
Let's find out how Zamien
gets out of this one.
119
00:06:44,571 --> 00:06:47,157
Where is Kiff Chatterley?
120
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,785
I'm here to "spoil"
her little crusade.
121
00:06:52,370 --> 00:06:54,164
If you want to spoil Kiff,
122
00:06:54,456 --> 00:06:56,791
you're gonna have
to go through us.
123
00:06:59,544 --> 00:07:00,962
So be it...
124
00:07:02,631 --> 00:07:04,840
You should know,
I just read the script
125
00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:07,343
for the season finale.
I know everything
126
00:07:07,344 --> 00:07:08,887
about SSTQ.
127
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:10,055
[yelps]
128
00:07:11,556 --> 00:07:13,891
The Blade of Sorrows
is a red herring.
129
00:07:13,892 --> 00:07:15,101
[all gasp]
130
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,020
- [whispers indistinctly]
- [gasps]
131
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,069
- [whispers indistinctly]
- [both scream]
132
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,528
[whispers indistinctly]
...cliffhanger.
133
00:07:26,529 --> 00:07:28,238
[both gasp]
134
00:07:28,239 --> 00:07:30,700
[whispers indistinctly]
135
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:39,751
[screaming, clamoring]
136
00:07:40,752 --> 00:07:42,087
[screams]
137
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:43,672
[grunts]
138
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:47,801
[screaming, clamoring]
139
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,763
[both scream]
140
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:54,723
[student 1] So many pages...
141
00:07:54,724 --> 00:07:56,767
[student 2] I was only
seventeen chapters
away from the end!
142
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,561
[student 3]
What was it all for?
143
00:08:00,355 --> 00:08:05,819
[grunts]
144
00:08:09,864 --> 00:08:13,868
Captain Clifton
is killed by Dwidi.
145
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,246
[groans]
146
00:08:17,205 --> 00:08:20,333
Now, where is that little nerd?
147
00:08:21,209 --> 00:08:25,463
That means my fan theory
was right. [groans]
148
00:08:28,299 --> 00:08:30,134
What's wrong, girl?
She's shaking.
149
00:08:30,135 --> 00:08:31,803
That only happens
when danger's afoot.
150
00:08:39,811 --> 00:08:42,188
- [both scream]
- Kiff, let me in!
151
00:08:42,814 --> 00:08:47,068
- [pants]
- Miss Moufflé, what's wrong?
152
00:08:47,861 --> 00:08:50,989
- Or am I?
- [screams]
153
00:08:51,197 --> 00:08:53,032
- [laughs evilly]
- [gasps]
154
00:08:53,450 --> 00:08:55,285
[laughs evilly]
155
00:08:56,119 --> 00:08:57,369
And my agent said
156
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:59,706
I couldn't play
a beautiful librarian.
157
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,374
Now, which one of you
is ruining my ratings?
158
00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:07,839
I'm here to "spoiler" this
for you. [inhales sharply]
159
00:09:11,134 --> 00:09:12,468
No!
160
00:09:12,469 --> 00:09:13,928
[sucks in breath]
161
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,683
[muted high pitched beeping]
162
00:09:19,184 --> 00:09:20,851
[♪ dramatic music playing]
163
00:09:20,852 --> 00:09:22,562
[muted high pitched beep]
164
00:09:23,021 --> 00:09:24,939
- [♪ dramatic music playing]
- [speaks indistinctly]
165
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:28,234
[muted high pitched beep]
166
00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,820
[♪ dramatic music playing]
167
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,544
[muted high-pitched beep]
168
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,380
And that is why
he never went back!
169
00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,382
[whimpers]
170
00:09:52,050 --> 00:09:54,385
[sighs] Why did you do it,
Barry?
171
00:09:54,719 --> 00:09:57,889
[exhales]
I'm going home, Kiff.
172
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,642
You sure are, buddy.
173
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,686
You're gonna be just fine.
174
00:10:04,437 --> 00:10:07,690
No, no, I mean,
I can go home now
and watch the show.
175
00:10:08,024 --> 00:10:10,235
Oh, right. Thanks for saving me.
176
00:10:11,319 --> 00:10:13,947
So, you didn't hear any
of that?
177
00:10:14,197 --> 00:10:17,075
Well, I guess I better
say it all again.
178
00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,785
- [inhales deeply]
- Giancarlo, how could you?
179
00:10:19,786 --> 00:10:21,621
Zamien would never
do any of this.
180
00:10:21,955 --> 00:10:24,874
What? Are you saying
I was miscast?
181
00:10:25,500 --> 00:10:28,253
I'm saying Zamien loves books.
182
00:10:29,045 --> 00:10:31,339
He traveled across the galaxy
to retrieve
the Tome of Bluzinga.
183
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:33,216
Tome of what?
184
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:35,176
It's part of his backstory
in book six,
185
00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:38,971
which was the worst one,
but is integral
for Zamien's arc.
186
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:41,432
Whoa, I... [chuckles]
I had no idea.
187
00:10:41,808 --> 00:10:43,184
That wasn't in the scripts.
188
00:10:43,560 --> 00:10:46,688
Say, Kim,
how could I get more insights
for my performance?
189
00:10:47,146 --> 00:10:49,023
There's always more
in the books.
190
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,986
"...and with his cloned
infant father
191
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:56,656
"asleep in his arms,
Zamien walked away
from the Star Star Throne.
192
00:10:57,156 --> 00:10:59,492
"Thus, the Loop of Destiny
was closed,
193
00:10:59,701 --> 00:11:02,328
"enfolding the galaxy,
eternity,
194
00:11:02,579 --> 00:11:04,998
and Zamien's new heart."
195
00:11:05,665 --> 00:11:06,916
[sighs]
196
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,127
I get it now.
14485
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