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Come on.
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Come
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on.
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Come on, he's on down, he's on down,
down the road.
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Bring your right foot up, bring your
left foot down. Come on, let's keep
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don't you lose no ground.
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Cause the road you walk in might take
some time.
8
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You just keep on trapping and you'll
feel just fine. Come on, he's on down,
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on down, down the road.
10
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Come on, he's on down, he's on down.
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We'll be right back.
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don't you care
13
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Come on.
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gentlemen, it's the star of our show,
Tommy Cooper.
15
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You know, I was at Torquay last summer
for the summer season. A friend of mine
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said, you want to go to Torquay? It's
good for rheumatism.
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So I did and I got it.
18
00:03:19,430 --> 00:03:21,770
And while I was there, I tried to get in
the hotel. It was packed.
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So I went to this big boarding house.
20
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And I knocked on the door and then Landy
put her head out the window and said,
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what do you want? I said, I want to stay
here.
22
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She said, well, stay there and shut the
window.
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And while I was there, I bought one of
these frogman outfits.
24
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You've seen them. I bought the whole
lot.
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All that, big flippers, goggles, big
tank on the back.
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Everything. I had a photograph taken
like that and like that.
27
00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,400
Well, you never know, do you?
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00:03:50,020 --> 00:03:53,600
And I went to the bay and I jumped in,
because you're not supposed to dive in,
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you see, it's dangerous.
30
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And I jumped in and I went down about
155 feet.
31
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I did. Straight down like that.
32
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I may have turned a little bit.
33
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No, I didn't. I went straight down like
that.
34
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Very quiet.
35
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Very quiet.
36
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And I'm going along like that.
37
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I've got the instructions here.
38
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And I get rid of them, and I go like
that. I'm showing off a bit, you know
39
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I mean?
40
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:38,820
And the flippers are going like that.
41
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Not in the front, in the back, you know
what I mean?
42
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And I'm going on like that. A bit cocky,
I am, really.
43
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And I look ahead like that, and I see a
man walking towards me.
44
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In a sports jacket and grey pants.
45
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I thought, that's unusual for a
Thursday.
46
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I went towards them very fast, and I
don't care.
47
00:05:05,460 --> 00:05:09,960
And I get right up to them, and I take
this pad out, and I write on there, what
48
00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,660
are you doing down here walking about
the sports act in great flannels?
49
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And they take this pad from me, and it
writes on there, I'm drowning.
50
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,160
Hang on.
51
00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:30,060
Here's a little trick I'd like to show
you now, a little trick I picked up. I
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don't know who dropped it.
53
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Did you pick that up?
54
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I'm not afraid of work.
55
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I don't know where I get them from, I
don't really.
56
00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:48,160
The very famous egg and bag trick. I was
showing my wife this, she loves these
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tricks. And my wife has always got on a
diet.
58
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Different kinds of diets.
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00:05:55,100 --> 00:05:57,740
She's got one now, she drinks eight
glasses of water a day.
60
00:05:58,920 --> 00:06:02,620
And I lost eight pounds, and she gained
50 gallons.
61
00:06:06,830 --> 00:06:10,490
And she's got another one where she eats
bananas and coconuts all day long.
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Bananas and coconuts all day long.
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She hasn't lost any weight, but you want
to see her climb trees.
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Egg, bag, bag, egg, bag, egg, egg, bag.
65
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It will now disappear from the bag. The
egg there, look, will now disappear.
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And you won't have to sleep.
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He doesn't know where it is, do you?
68
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Look at that.
69
00:06:44,060 --> 00:06:45,060
Eh?
70
00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,500
Where is it? He doesn't know, do you?
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On the arm? No.
72
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Other one? No, I don't think so.
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This one?
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No.
75
00:06:56,060 --> 00:06:57,060
How's that?
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Eh?
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And he put you on his other peg and he
bring the egg out to a thunderous
78
00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,160
applause.
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00:07:15,100 --> 00:07:16,100
It's over.
80
00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:48,630
Empty! Empty!
81
00:07:49,030 --> 00:07:50,030
Empty!
82
00:07:55,270 --> 00:07:55,950
Who
83
00:07:55,950 --> 00:08:07,790
was
84
00:08:07,790 --> 00:08:08,790
talking there?
85
00:08:45,610 --> 00:08:49,250
Let grasses grow and waters flow in the
free and easy way.
86
00:08:49,670 --> 00:08:53,610
But give me enough for the fine old
stuff that's made near Galway Bay.
87
00:08:54,090 --> 00:08:57,990
Out does the air with another air, and
we'd fix both me and you.
88
00:08:58,410 --> 00:09:02,310
As home you're old, you can take a bowl
or a bucket of the Mountain Dew.
89
00:09:03,130 --> 00:09:07,010
Gather up the pots and the outing cans,
the mash and the corn and the barley and
90
00:09:07,010 --> 00:09:10,790
the bran. Hurrah, like a tittle from the
excise man, keep the smoke from rising.
91
00:09:11,110 --> 00:09:12,110
Barney.
92
00:09:13,650 --> 00:09:16,580
At the foot... Sub the hill, there's a
neat little still, where the smoke
93
00:09:16,580 --> 00:09:17,660
curtains up the sky.
94
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:21,420
By the smoke and the smell, you can
plainly tell, there's pot sheen brewing
95
00:09:21,420 --> 00:09:26,200
nearby. A policeman all from Downey
call, fly go and eat from two.
96
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:30,580
We'll give them the slib, then we take a
sip of the rail, old mountain dew.
97
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:35,120
Gather up the pots and the oats in cans,
the mash and the corn and the barley
98
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,600
and the bran. Hurrah, like a dibble from
the excise man, keep the scope from
99
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:39,940
rising, Barney.
100
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:53,870
Thank you.
101
00:10:13,820 --> 00:10:15,560
I don't know.
102
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,560
Well, ladies and gentlemen, I'll show
you a wonderful trick now. I will
103
00:10:57,820 --> 00:11:00,580
from this empty paper bag, a live dove.
104
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:09,340
I don't want to get that down too high.
105
00:11:10,640 --> 00:11:11,960
I'd like to show you a trick now.
106
00:11:12,660 --> 00:11:14,400
What I'm going to do is this.
107
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:16,720
Water! I don't know.
108
00:11:18,300 --> 00:11:20,640
Water! I must have water.
109
00:11:22,620 --> 00:11:23,620
There it is.
110
00:11:27,740 --> 00:11:29,520
Oh, it's freezing.
111
00:11:33,100 --> 00:11:35,640
Oh, thank you, sir.
112
00:11:36,300 --> 00:11:38,540
Oh, much obliged to you, sir. Thank you,
sir.
113
00:11:39,020 --> 00:11:40,240
Oh, thank you, sir.
114
00:11:44,920 --> 00:11:45,920
Hello, Joe?
115
00:11:47,580 --> 00:11:50,140
God. God, say hello to Joe.
116
00:11:54,830 --> 00:11:55,830
Say hello to Joe. Who?
117
00:11:56,090 --> 00:11:57,430
Joe. Say hello to Joe.
118
00:11:57,870 --> 00:11:58,870
Where?
119
00:11:59,590 --> 00:12:00,830
He's up there in that tree.
120
00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:07,570
Go on. Say hello to Joe.
121
00:12:11,390 --> 00:12:12,750
Go on. Say hello to Joe.
122
00:12:14,770 --> 00:12:15,890
All right. Hello.
123
00:12:16,370 --> 00:12:17,370
Say hello.
124
00:12:18,510 --> 00:12:20,490
Say hello to Joe. Hello, Joe.
125
00:12:22,010 --> 00:12:23,010
Is that Joe?
126
00:12:24,200 --> 00:12:26,300
A drink for old time's sake? Oh, sure,
Joe.
127
00:12:26,520 --> 00:12:28,280
What, one for my friend? Yeah?
128
00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:30,380
Oh, great. Yeah, have a drink with Joe.
129
00:12:30,680 --> 00:12:35,200
Here. Ah, good old... Cheers, Joe.
130
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:37,840
Say cheers to Joe.
131
00:12:40,900 --> 00:12:42,740
Go on, say cheers to Joe.
132
00:12:43,340 --> 00:12:45,120
Cheers to Joe. Say cheers to Joe.
133
00:12:45,900 --> 00:12:46,900
Cheers,
134
00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:48,320
Joe.
135
00:12:59,120 --> 00:13:00,120
Cracked in the first place.
136
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:01,880
Yes, it was. I saw that. It was.
137
00:13:03,660 --> 00:13:04,639
No, it was.
138
00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,640
That's how you got there, Joe.
139
00:13:05,820 --> 00:13:07,380
It was cracked. A gun.
140
00:13:07,740 --> 00:13:08,719
It was cracked.
141
00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:09,479
A gun.
142
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:11,900
Yes. Now you put that gun down, Joe.
143
00:13:12,140 --> 00:13:13,140
Put that gun down, Joe.
144
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:14,560
Put that gun down, Joe.
145
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:16,400
He's got a gun. He's got a gun. He's got
a gun.
146
00:13:18,840 --> 00:13:19,840
Put it down, Joe.
147
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:23,900
Put that gun down, Joe.
148
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:25,500
Put that gun down, Joe.
149
00:13:25,700 --> 00:13:26,700
Now you put that...
150
00:15:02,540 --> 00:15:03,540
Cheers, friends.
151
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,420
Take that! And that! And that!
152
00:15:38,540 --> 00:15:39,820
I shot him with a knife.
153
00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:45,360
Oh, Fred!
154
00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,720
Fred! Fred! Where are you, Fred? Oh,
there you are.
155
00:15:51,380 --> 00:15:52,380
Fred!
156
00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:53,520
Oh!
157
00:15:54,780 --> 00:15:55,780
Oh!
158
00:15:56,840 --> 00:15:57,840
Sorry, Jeff.
159
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:53,680
I need you leaving.
160
00:21:29,230 --> 00:21:31,730
Ladies and gentlemen, have a minute.
161
00:23:06,350 --> 00:23:07,710
I'd like to show you this wonderful
trick now.
162
00:23:07,910 --> 00:23:12,910
From the empty vase of these, I will now
produce a bouquet of flowers.
163
00:23:15,850 --> 00:23:16,870
A bouquet of flowers.
164
00:23:56,439 --> 00:23:59,240
oh oh
12130
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