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1
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,260
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Cooper.
2
00:00:16,260 --> 00:00:17,940
Just like that.
3
00:00:57,529 --> 00:01:02,050
I'm going to produce 2 ,000 ducks.
Ducks.
4
00:01:03,370 --> 00:01:04,690
In 20 seconds.
5
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,240
thank you
6
00:02:37,840 --> 00:02:40,060
Who are you? I am the manager of this
theatre.
7
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,120
Well, you've got a good job. We'll look
after it.
8
00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:44,440
What do you think you're doing?
9
00:02:44,860 --> 00:02:45,980
I'm producing ducks.
10
00:02:46,460 --> 00:02:48,360
You're producing ducks on my stage?
11
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,520
This is the new London Theatre, not
Everdale Farm.
12
00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:52,800
Now, get off the bus.
13
00:03:07,230 --> 00:03:10,370
Get the duck expert and get him a punt.
I certainly will.
14
00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:12,910
Right. Is there a duck expert here?
15
00:03:13,170 --> 00:03:14,170
Yes, sir.
16
00:03:14,350 --> 00:03:18,610
Well... What are you doing here?
17
00:03:19,110 --> 00:03:20,110
What are you doing?
18
00:03:20,870 --> 00:03:22,370
Well... Right,
19
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get that duck off.
20
00:03:25,270 --> 00:03:28,950
Get that duck... But we don't have the
stage clear of ducks in five minutes.
21
00:03:28,990 --> 00:03:30,150
You're out of the sphere of air.
22
00:03:30,810 --> 00:03:33,910
Well... Come on. Off, off, off, off. Get
off.
23
00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:44,160
Thank you.
24
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:46,160
Listen to that.
25
00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:48,260
Thank you.
26
00:03:49,700 --> 00:03:50,700
Ah.
27
00:03:51,780 --> 00:03:53,120
Listen to that.
28
00:03:53,360 --> 00:03:54,980
A citizen ovation.
29
00:03:57,920 --> 00:03:59,680
A citizen ovation.
30
00:04:00,860 --> 00:04:01,920
All right.
31
00:04:05,770 --> 00:04:09,630
Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to
introduce my next guest artist.
32
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The five Seagans sisters from Ireland.
33
00:04:12,830 --> 00:04:14,890
And they don't need any introduction.
34
00:04:19,350 --> 00:04:21,570
Because they already know each other.
35
00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:28,410
So here they are now. A nice big welcome
to the sisters.
36
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:48,960
Give me long
37
00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,560
distance.
38
00:04:54,100 --> 00:04:56,260
Long distance.
39
00:04:57,600 --> 00:05:02,240
Give me hair.
40
00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:08,060
One, two, three. Oh, operator.
41
00:05:10,030 --> 00:05:11,610
Thank you.
42
00:05:12,190 --> 00:05:13,590
Thank
43
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you.
44
00:05:53,740 --> 00:05:57,360
And every time she dialed it, she always
got a call.
45
00:05:57,940 --> 00:06:00,020
Operator. Operator. Information.
46
00:07:42,380 --> 00:07:43,380
I'd like to do now for me.
47
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,860
I'd like to show you now a wonderful
illusion, a wonderful trick.
48
00:08:06,380 --> 00:08:07,660
The very famous...
49
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,670
The very famous magic kettle.
50
00:08:20,670 --> 00:08:25,570
Now, from this kettle, I shall pour any
drink you pour. Any drink you pour.
51
00:08:25,950 --> 00:08:27,070
From this magic kettle.
52
00:08:46,350 --> 00:08:47,350
and start raiding the head.
53
00:08:53,610 --> 00:08:55,310
And he drinks towards the end.
54
00:08:56,390 --> 00:08:58,670
What would you like, sir?
55
00:08:59,290 --> 00:09:00,290
A beer?
56
00:09:00,590 --> 00:09:01,870
Beer? Would you like a beer?
57
00:09:02,130 --> 00:09:03,970
Right, here we are. A pint of beer.
58
00:09:05,890 --> 00:09:07,830
Here we are, sir.
59
00:09:08,990 --> 00:09:09,990
What would you like, sir? A beer?
60
00:09:11,210 --> 00:09:12,210
Would you take that?
61
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:17,180
Gin and tonic. A gin and tonic. One gin
and tonic, please. Right, gin and tonic
62
00:09:17,180 --> 00:09:20,980
coming up. Just taste that. Make sure
it's gin and... Whiskey.
63
00:09:21,220 --> 00:09:23,160
Yes, a whiskey. Is it genuine? Is it
genuine?
64
00:09:23,380 --> 00:09:24,820
There you are, that lady down there.
65
00:09:25,540 --> 00:09:28,080
A whiskey. A whiskey. Here we are. A
scotch whiskey. Scotch whiskey.
66
00:09:28,380 --> 00:09:29,440
One genuine scotch whiskey.
67
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,320
Mmm.
68
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:35,380
Lovely. Could we have a... I'll give you
a little Welsh whiskey, darling.
69
00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,880
It is Welsh whiskey. Look, it's got a
leak in it.
70
00:09:55,820 --> 00:09:57,620
Anything else you want? Yes, I want a
packet of crisps.
71
00:09:57,840 --> 00:10:03,440
A packet of... Well, before you have the
packet of crisps, I'll tell you what I
72
00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,740
want you to do. I want you to go and get
changed.
73
00:10:06,020 --> 00:10:08,540
What happened? For this wonderful big
trick, wonderful big illusion.
74
00:10:08,940 --> 00:10:09,940
What big illusion?
75
00:10:10,820 --> 00:10:11,880
I'll tell you what it is.
76
00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:16,340
This very big illusion is the very
famous motorbike trick. Oh, ah.
77
00:10:17,140 --> 00:10:20,040
Very dangerous. Would you go off,
please, to get changed?
78
00:10:20,460 --> 00:10:22,860
Yes. For this wonderful big illusion.
79
00:10:23,140 --> 00:10:23,999
Oh, okay.
80
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000
The motorbike.
81
00:10:35,089 --> 00:10:36,410
Who wants the kettle?
82
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:39,670
What? Who wants the kettle? Somebody
wants the kettle?
83
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:41,150
Right, alright then.
84
00:10:41,490 --> 00:10:43,490
Who wants this kettle as a souvenir?
85
00:10:52,970 --> 00:10:55,530
I'll take it off. I want the big ones,
please. Sorry. Take it off.
86
00:10:56,150 --> 00:10:57,150
OK.
87
00:10:58,310 --> 00:10:59,189
Come on, then.
88
00:10:59,190 --> 00:11:00,410
We'll get the big one now.
89
00:11:05,930 --> 00:11:06,330
Ladies
90
00:11:06,330 --> 00:11:15,150
and
91
00:11:15,150 --> 00:11:17,750
gentlemen, now, this is where it comes
to this wonderful big illusion.
92
00:11:18,770 --> 00:11:24,160
A wonderful big trick where she will
drive up, that ramp very slowly.
93
00:11:25,760 --> 00:11:26,760
Quietly.
94
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:33,460
And when she gets inside this crate
here, the crate will go slowly in the
95
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:40,700
Slowly in the air, and when I tap my
hand, she will disappear.
96
00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,320
If the wind is in the right direction.
97
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000
Are you ready?
98
00:11:49,060 --> 00:11:49,959
I'm ready!
99
00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:53,190
Right. The very famous satisfied trick.
100
00:11:54,770 --> 00:11:56,150
In there and disappear.
101
00:11:56,490 --> 00:11:57,490
Right, ready?
102
00:11:58,430 --> 00:12:00,050
He's coming down. Come on then.
103
00:12:07,890 --> 00:12:10,610
Are you ready?
104
00:12:12,810 --> 00:12:14,270
If you're ready, I'll break...
105
00:12:45,599 --> 00:12:47,820
Now, this is what they call a talent
trail.
106
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:53,000
Because the next gentleman who's going
to come on, I have never seen.
107
00:12:53,200 --> 00:12:55,700
But the producer said he was wonderful.
108
00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,600
Because they've been searching all over
the country.
109
00:12:59,300 --> 00:13:00,300
This producer.
110
00:13:00,940 --> 00:13:02,480
He's producing a show here tonight.
111
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:04,760
He's a nice fellow.
112
00:13:05,140 --> 00:13:06,620
He nearly bought me a drink once.
113
00:13:10,340 --> 00:13:13,540
But I'd like to now introduce you to
this man.
114
00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:17,390
He's a singer and he plays an
instrument.
115
00:13:22,770 --> 00:13:26,270
And he's, some people say he's a
virtuoso.
116
00:13:30,250 --> 00:13:32,970
But personally, I don't care what he
does when he's not on the stage.
117
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:40,270
But here he is now, I don't know what
he's like, lost behind to Bob Blackburn.
118
00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:54,580
This is how they'll never stop. Clippity
-clop, clippity -clippity, clippity
119
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:56,240
-clippity, clippity -clopping along.
120
00:13:58,340 --> 00:13:59,540
You'll train.
121
00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:04,180
Clippity -clopping down a mountain
chain.
122
00:14:05,020 --> 00:14:09,060
Soon they're going to reach the top.
Clippity -clop, clippity -clippity,
123
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:11,220
clippity -clippity, clippity -clopping
along.
124
00:14:13,900 --> 00:14:16,780
There's a plot that's worth a fight for
a minor in Corona.
125
00:14:17,060 --> 00:14:19,820
A guitar for a cowboy way out in
Arizona.
126
00:14:20,260 --> 00:14:23,040
That's right, the Cali call for pretty
Navajo.
127
00:14:25,740 --> 00:14:27,260
Get along.
128
00:14:27,860 --> 00:14:29,520
Get along.
129
00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:32,760
You will see.
130
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:37,700
Liberty shopping through the wind and
the rain.
131
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:43,190
Seems to tell they'll never die.
Clippity cloppity clippity clippity
132
00:14:43,190 --> 00:14:44,810
clippity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
133
00:14:44,810 --> 00:14:44,950
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
134
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:44,950
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
135
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:44,950
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
136
00:14:44,950 --> 00:14:45,410
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
137
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:45,410
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
138
00:14:45,410 --> 00:14:45,810
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
139
00:14:45,810 --> 00:14:51,170
cloppity cloppity cloppity cloppity
cloppity
140
00:14:51,170 --> 00:14:56,810
cloppity clopp
141
00:15:13,960 --> 00:15:15,340
I'm just a born actor, all right?
142
00:15:17,120 --> 00:15:20,320
I want someone here now just to think of
any car. What do you think of a car,
143
00:15:20,340 --> 00:15:21,340
sir?
144
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:22,780
Any car you like in the back.
145
00:15:23,080 --> 00:15:24,420
Don't tell me. Let me thought of one,
sir.
146
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:28,200
The gentleman there has just thought of
a car.
147
00:15:35,780 --> 00:15:37,120
Put your place in there, sir.
148
00:16:14,350 --> 00:16:16,190
Take your children's cards from that
pack, sir.
149
00:16:18,010 --> 00:16:19,970
They may have seen a duck do that
before.
150
00:16:22,850 --> 00:16:23,850
But be fair.
151
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:44,760
What was your answer?
152
00:18:03,380 --> 00:18:10,320
I'll put three different cards here on
153
00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:11,320
there like that.
154
00:18:34,410 --> 00:18:35,410
different goal, honey.
155
00:19:38,190 --> 00:19:39,330
Close the lid like that.
156
00:19:42,470 --> 00:19:44,670
Then you get three cards like this.
Look.
157
00:19:52,010 --> 00:19:53,590
Three cards. There's the clubs.
158
00:19:54,330 --> 00:19:55,330
All right.
159
00:19:55,790 --> 00:19:57,510
I turn the ace of clubs over.
160
00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,010
I go like that.
161
00:20:01,550 --> 00:20:03,490
And there's the queen there right there.
162
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,360
After the eight.
163
00:21:07,630 --> 00:21:09,750
And I tell you what, I don't know what
language it is, do you?
164
00:21:12,050 --> 00:21:13,730
I turn the ace of hearts over.
165
00:21:20,330 --> 00:21:26,950
And I go, one, two, three, and the ace
of hearts is gone.
166
00:21:33,310 --> 00:21:35,830
So the ice is fine, I'm gone.
167
00:21:43,790 --> 00:21:44,790
I mean, yeah.
168
00:23:06,510 --> 00:23:08,170
to sing some songs old and new.
169
00:23:09,630 --> 00:23:13,390
Songs which you may have heard before,
songs which you may have never heard
170
00:23:13,390 --> 00:23:14,390
before.
171
00:23:14,710 --> 00:23:19,530
And songs which you never heard before
will do now because you may have never
172
00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:20,530
heard them before.
173
00:23:23,190 --> 00:23:24,490
I don't want to talk about it.
174
00:23:28,790 --> 00:23:31,230
You must remember this.
175
00:23:32,010 --> 00:23:34,310
A kiss is still a kiss.
176
00:23:35,250 --> 00:23:37,690
That's how... is just as fine.
177
00:23:39,910 --> 00:23:45,370
There are funny little things in life as
time goes by.
178
00:23:48,750 --> 00:23:50,990
I went to love and woo.
179
00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:54,150
They still say I love you.
180
00:23:54,390 --> 00:23:56,730
I bet you can rely.
13493
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