All language subtitles for the_misadventures_of_romesh_s02e05_christmas_the_sahara

Hi, Ramesh. Thanks for coming in. Yes,
you're welcome. What is it?

So, there's a few days next year when
you're not on TV.

OK, go on.

OK, so we've got some ideas.

First one, you and your mum team up and
learn to cook in North Korea.

Yes.

You and your mum go whaling.

Yes.

You and your mum investigate ISIS.

Yes. You and your mum go swinging?

Yes. Great.

You and your mum? Yes.

What about a Misadventures Christmas
special?

I don't think so, Matt. I don't just do
anything.

The last one we did was all right,
wasn't it?

Yeah, but you know what else it was?

Freezing.

It was in the Arctic, camping out on the
frozen ocean.

Food was awful.

Accommodation was awful.

I had to shit into a bin bag.

So, if you can promise me it's not going
to be like that, I'll tell you what, I

will do it as long as you can 100 %
categorically, without fail, completely

assure me that we will not go anywhere
cold.

Sure, no problem. No problem. I promise
we will not go anywhere cold.

Congratulations. You just got yourself
Romesh Ranganathan.

Brilliant.

I had been tricked into travelling to
the world's largest desert, the Sahara.

Despite its isolation, much of the
desert is currently inaccessible. The

of terrorism makes Mali, northern Niger
and Libya completely off -limits.

My journey would begin on the edge of
the Sahara, in Marrakesh.

Gateway to the huge sand dunes to the
south.

Normally what happens with these shows
is that I think it's going to be a

certain way, there's nothing that would
appeal to me, and then all of a sudden I

have an epiphany and I go, do you know
what, it's actually magical.

Sahara, I've got to say, I cannot in a
million years imagine what it might

I know that it's going to be difficult,
I know that it's going to be

challenging.

And what I'm hoping is that I'm going to
discover something during this trip

that makes going through that
worthwhile.

Do you know what I mean? What that is, I
couldn't tell you. Obi -Wan Kenobi

rescuing me from an attack from some
sand people or something. That would be

ideal, but I can't imagine that's going
to happen.

I had been told to head to a local cafe
to meet my guide and host for the week,

Boo Boo, who was born and raised in the
desert.

He now owns and runs a luxury camp.

catering for the increasing number of
tourists.

Boubou, how are you?

How are you doing, man? Nice to meet
you. Nice to meet you. How are you?

Good, thank you. Welcome to Morocco.

Thank you very much.

So, you're from the Sahara.

What is it about the desert that you
love?

It's beautiful.

No light, just fire, sleep under the
stars.

I live without anything.

Then you discover something that's
different about your life.

It's nice to have experience.

It's nice to... I know it's very hot for
you.

Exactly how hot is it going to be?

Okay, you want to know the big number or
the little number?

I want to know the actual number.

Okay, 50.

50? Yeah.

But you have to survive.

But you have to survive?

Yeah. So I just don't think die?

No. That's your top tip for the Sahara?

Yes.

All right.

I'll try it.

You have to try it. You don't have
choice.

Boo Boo explained if I wore my shorts
and t -shirt in the 50 degree heat, I

would quickly be singed into a small
pile of dust.

And so before we set off, he took me
into the market to buy something more

suitable.

How do I look? Very nice.

This

is

the tournament.

Okay, are you taking the piss now?

Are you taking the piss?

No, no.

This is how the people wearing the
turban in the desert.

And do I look good?

Yeah.

Very nice.

How are you feeling? I feel like a Klan
member with a head injury.

Shall we start the sparkling process
then?

Yes. Please don't make me wear this.
That's my starting bit.

No, because I'm not trying to be... I'm
not trying to be insensitive or

disrespectful.

But he looks unbelievable in this one.

I look like a grand dragon.

That's the problem.

So how are you going to solve this
problem?

Well, thankfully, Boo Boo has said that
he's going to lend Yogi one of his

outfits, so...

I'm going to wear that.

And I'll keep this as a souvenir for any
time that I've got some spare self

-esteem that needs burning off.

Boo Boo's plan for the week was to head
over the Atlas Mountains, along the

ancient road of 1 ,000 casbahs, to reach
the desert dunes, 300 miles to the

south. From there, we would continue
into the politically troubled Western

Sahara. before eventually emerging at
the ocean.

But to start with, Booby wanted to show
me a brief glimpse of the immense

landscape we were entering, from the
peace and serenity of a hot air balloon.

It's so quiet now.

This is crap.

That's what it's all about, isn't it?

Shitting your pants in a basket.

Welcome to the air.

Your first time

in Berlin?

Yes, yes. How about you? First time in a
basket?

Yeah, yeah, but I watch a lot of videos
in YouTube

Where

exactly

we going baby going that way over this
month going to Sahara

I know that it's going to happen, but it
always feels like a surprise, doesn't

it?

This looks amazing.

The next morning, we started our long
journey, crossing the Atlas Mountains

driving along the palm fringe road of a
thousand Kasbahs, heading south to the

desert.

So what are the main risks? How can you
die in the desert?

Dehydration? Yeah, hydration and then
some animals.

What animals? Like me, scorpions.

Scorpion. Yeah, but scorpion doesn't
kill you. They give you just pain, like,

for four hours, five hours, and then
there's, like, one plant, it's very,

dangerous.

If you touch it, and then you put, like,
your fingers in your mouth, they give

you, like, they get you, like, very
thirsty, and then you need water, even,

like, if your stomach is full.

It keeps making you want to drink. Yeah.

And then what happens?

And then you die.

As we drove further and further south,
the landscape began to empty.

Eventually, at the far end of the Draa
Valley, we reached the remote town of

Tamagroot, home to a distinctive type of
world -famous pottery.

I mean, it's tasty, innit?

It's good, innit?

Are you not hot?

No. Be honest with me. I went through
it. Don't say it to be brave. No, no,

I went through it. Hello.

Hello, sir.

Nice to meet you.

What's your name?

Abdul. Abdul, nice to meet you. Nice to
meet you, sir.

Bubu took me to visit this, well, visit
a pottery factory.

And the area's famous for seven
different kilns. They're run by seven

families. And we're invited to look
around and give it a go.

Please, you first. Thank you.

Oh, wow.

Here, we have a table. Yeah.

The wheel, I found very off -putting.
The wheel's on the floor, and then you

pull up a plank of wood, and then you
clamber down into this sort of pit.

Let's just start.

So only the top half of you is exposed.

I mean, if you just walked into it and
not know what's going on, you just

Jesus Christ, that is a hell of an
accident.

But actually, the whole bottom half of
you is underneath the ground.

That's amazing.

Wow.

To kill it, maybe with wood.

you can get it maybe with your hands up
to your choice

so there's like a little

turntable and you just sort of do that
underneath to spin it

Here we go, now we get something.

You make the thing, that's tricky
enough.

And then you've got to sort of, as it's
spinning, just sort of slice off the

bowl.

There we go.

Abdul told me that the pottery's
distinctive green finish comes from the

amount of copper that is added to the
glaze.

Each final product is unique.

The imperfections adding to the
character of the piece.

Although it turned out that in the case
of my bowl, they were just

imperfections.

That was the winner.

Why? Can I ask why?

That's the winner.

Great. Brilliant. Great. Thank you very
much.

You're supposed to leave the clay for a
week.

You glaze it and then you put it in the
kiln.

Abdul said that the kiln has to be 1
,000 degrees.

Once it's at the correct temperature,
you put the stuff in, seal it up, so

completely seal it up, and then they
leave it for 24 hours, and then it's

to go.

And what's the temperature anyway?

The temperature's 43 degrees.

So how hot did it feel?

I would estimate it felt around 1 ,043
degrees.

You know, I hadn't really appreciated...

what the finished product was going to
look like. It was only when we went into

the shop that I saw how good the
stuff... I mean, the stuff looked

was great.

Really good.

It feels like we're on Cash in the
Attic.

Hello.

I'm Romesh, and this is Booboo, aren't
you?

Yeah. Yeah, and we're just going to try
and see if we can... how much we get for

these pots.

Yeah, you try.

Booboo loves his pottery, but he said
he's...

Willing to see what we can get for
these, don't you, Phoebe?

I like to bargain.

He likes to bargain.

You love a bargain, don't you, Phoebe?

Well done, Phoebe.

That's a bargain, mate. Proper bargain.

Lisa's going to love this.

Just pop it there.

We followed the road to Mohammed, the
point where modern civilization finishes

and the desert begins.

You are in the end of the route.

Are you excited?

Yeah, now we go just in off -road.

Look at this road.

The Sahara is the largest hot desert on
Earth, covering 10 countries and

spanning some 3 .6 million square miles.

It's a sparse, harsh environment where
only the hardest of people and the most

resilient wildlife can survive.

What do you think?

What do I think?

I didn't expect to see this many trees.

How do they survive?

They survive in the desert because they
go very deep. The roots go right down?

Yeah.

To find, like, more water.

I want to pick up one of this plant.

What plant?

The poisonous.

Why are you picking up the poisonous
plant? I want to show you.

Yeah, but didn't you just say you're not
supposed to touch it?

You see it?

That's the poisonous one. Very.

Okay, now we're just sat in the car with
the poisonous plant.

Yeah, it's our friend.

It's not our friend. Why are you putting
it near me?

Oh, shit, one of the leaves has fallen
off.

He's touched it.

Unbelievable.

Rule number one, stay away from the
poisonous plant.

Rule number two, don't pick up the
poisonous plant and put it in the car.

Jesus.

So now, you touch the leaf with your
hand, right?

Yeah. Please do not put your hand in
your mouth.

No, don't worry. Will you remember?

I remember.

Why I want to put my hand in your mouth.

Not in my mouth, in your mouth.

No, it's okay, don't worry.

Sensing I was beginning to panic, Booby
decided to pull over and give me some

lessons in desert survival.

Is the big one over there? Oh, that's
poisonous.

Yeah.

Why are there so many bloody poisonous
things in this desert?

He started by showing me what to do in
the event of a sandstorm.

How bad is it? How bad do the sandstorms
get?

Very, very, very bad.

You can't see even like five meters from
here.

It's not like that.

Huh? No.

How do you want to cover your... I'm
covered.

It's not for sandstorm, this one.

What's this for? You have to cover all
your face.

Oh, right. Okay, I'll do it.

Okay.

Thanks for doing this for me. I love
you. No problem. Thank you very much. I

love you too.

There we go.

What about your arms?

Bang. Good job.

Come. If there is a sandstorm, you have
to hide behind the tree.

How do you feel? Great.

This is how you cover yourself from
sandstorm.

It's like that. Always give like the
sandstorm your back.

Okay.

And then in the nighttime, if you want
to sleep, you know where you sleep. If

it's hot. And then there is like animals
around you.

No.

You have to climb up there.

You got to climb the tree? Yeah.

I go first.

Yeah.

This is the sleep?

Yeah. You sleep in the tray?

Of course.

Look.

Then don't have any animals that comes
to you like in the nighttime if you

in. And then it's cooler.

Okay, I don't think I'm going to be able
to do that.

Do you not fall out?

No.

What if you roll over in your sleep?

But the people, they put like more wood
here. Oh, I see.

Have you ever fallen out of a tree?

Of course.

So you can fall out of a tree? No.

But you have done it, though.

I've done it before. Yeah, so it can
happen.

If you fall out, don't hurt yourself.

OK. If you fall out, don't hurt
yourself.

As a final stage, Boo Boo showed me how
to deal with a snake bite.

You have to have a knife.

OK. In the dog.

Then you have to take the dog and then
open his side.

Then you put like your... The bit that's
been bitten? Inside the dog? Yeah,

inside the dog, in stomach.

In the stomach of the dog? Yes.

Why? Because they take all the poison
out.

This is how... Does it work?

Yeah, it works.

Who's the first maniac that tried that?

There is very old man. They lived all
his life in the desert. Yeah.

Even me before, I don't know that. And
then he told me.

They say to me, Bobo, I've been beaten
by snakes, and then I do that, and then

it works.

Otherwise, if he doesn't do that, he'd
die.

Right.

Give me your lip.

You feel it?

Feel what?

I feel like my arm goes out. Yeah, yeah,
sure.

Please put your arm up.

One of the bleakest things I've ever
been involved with.

How do you feel? Is it hot?

I mean, the arm feels hot, but that's
because it's inside a dog.

Boo -Boo's desert training had been by

turns fascinating, educational and
weird.

But truth be told, I hadn't particularly
expected to use it.

We made our way deeper into the desert,
heading to Boo Boo's camp.

And that was when, out of nowhere, the
sandstorm hit.

You want to make your pyramid? We'll
make it for you. Like this.

Okay.

Look how it looks like.

Now.

Now.

Try to cover the top first.

How's that? What about your face?

Put your arms in the tissue.

Okay.

Come hide behind the tree.

You're back to the wing.

Sid, make it up.

Bubu had told me that the most severe
sandstorms can rise up to 300 metres

the air and lift a person off his feet.

But, of course, this wasn't a severe
sandstorm.

And, more to the point, I had no reason
to be in it.

How's your first sandstorm going?

I understand if we're stranded out here,
but we're in the safety of a vehicle.

I've got out to hide behind a tree.

Leave the vehicle and take shelter.

Doesn't make sense, does it?

Come on, it's done.

It's done.

I'm done, mate. How is it?

Yeah, great.

The storm eventually abated, and we
drove on to Boo Boo's camp.

tucked at the base of a huge sand dune
called Erg Chegaga.

Although desert tourism remains niche,
an increasing flow of visitors are being

drawn to the region, some seeking
adventure, others attracted by the

healing qualities of the sand.

Look at this.

Booba, you're living large, Brian. This
looks unbelievable, man.

Welcome to the camp. Oh, my God.

Can I be honest with you? When you said
luxury camp, I doubted you, but this is

unbelievable.

This is welcome drink.

Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.

Welcome.

This looks amazing.

Thank you very much.

Can I get the tour?

Yeah, please.

I'll take you to show your tent.

This is very swanky, mate.

I like it. Chill out area.

Yeah. There's a fire camp here.

Oh, mate.

Please, come in first. Wow.

Jump in it.

How is it?

It's beautiful.

This is great.

Okay, Ramesh.

This is your shower outside.

Okay.

Just behind your tent.

Okay, baby, can I just point out
something?

I can see you very clearly.

I have to explain to you. You see me?

Yeah. I'm just pointing out a design
flaw.

So I'm just going to watch you shower
now.

Yeah, I want to. Okay, cool.

Okay.

All right. It's nice.

You have to try it. Before you go, you
have to try it. Yeah, sure.

Very easy.

Feels good. Sure.

Feels perfect.

After all this heat, now cold.

This is like the start to the worst
porno ever.

I showered and changed into some
traditional clothes that Boo Boo gave

An outfit that he assured me didn't look
ridiculous.

How come you look cool and I look like a
terrorist?

It's nice.

Oh, God. Oh, my God!

This is terrifying, man.

Holy shit.

Oh, my God.

Jesus.

Oh.

It's fine, yeah?

Yeah.

Okay, take the board, and then you climb
up there.

Give me that.

You know what you do? What? It's very
easy to climb without shoes.

No rush. Just slowly, slowly.

Slowly, slowly.

Okay.

The dunes at Erg Chagaga stretch for
over 30 miles of near perfect

Its dunes, which can rise as high as 60
meters, are constantly changing, slowly

shifting and spreading across the vast
landscape.

The camp's amazing.

And this is, I mean, obviously I had it
in my mind's eye what this is going to

look like. But when you're actually
here, it's pretty incredible.

When you're in the city, what is it
about it that makes you uncomfortable?

What don't you like about it?

It's not like I don't like the city. I
like the city just to be like for two

days with 3D.

Yeah. It's not like for longer.

But all the time, I like to come back
to... to the

desert.

I feel freedom.

I feel freedom.

The city, I feel like I am blocked, like
that.

Yes.

I'm not used to it.

Are you basically just like space?

Yeah, of course.

Like that.

Clean air. Yeah.

Look how far. You see?

Look. Yeah.

It is incredible.

You join the sunset.

After the sunset, there's the stars.

Beautiful.

Don't you ever find yourself, because it
is so empty, don't you ever...

I don't know, get bored or just feel a
little bit like alone.

No.

Cool.

Welcome to another day.

Thank you for welcoming me to another
day. The

next morning, we woke up early and
headed over to Bubu's childhood home,

a few miles from the camp.

Which one is your one?

This one. This is where you live? Yeah,
this is the second place I live. I live

here, like, for two years.

Bubu is of Berber descent, a group whose
presence in the area dates back 5 ,000

years, to a time when this entire region
was lush, grassy woodland.

Slowly, the grass turned to arid desert,
and most people left.

The Berbers were the ones who stayed
behind, developing a unique culture.

and a way to live in the brutal desert
conditions.

How different is it from when you were
here?

Now everything gets broke out. Before,
you have like the carpet, waters, fire

the corner, the kitchen there, and then
this is just the rooms to sleep.

You slept in here then?

Yeah. How many people in here?

Like eight people, because they have
like three sisters and five brothers.

All slept in here?

Yeah. It's not massive, is it?

It's not like you have like your private
room just for your own.

Here you share everything.

And where are your brothers and sisters
now?

I have like one brother, he passed away,
and then my sister, she passed away.

And then all the brothers and sisters,
they got married, they have his own

Are you the only one that stayed in the
desert then?

Me and my young brother.

And the others? They moved to the city.

Boubou told me that a small river once
ran through this place, allowing

residents to grow crops and survive.

Most of them now live in the nearby town
of Mohamed, the victims of both climate

change and a dam that was built 100
miles to the north that has left the

dry.

Some campaign for wells to be dug that
would allow them to return, but in the

meantime, their buildings are being
slowly reclaimed by the desert.

Have you got used to it, or is it
strange seeing the difference between

was and how it is now?

Yeah, it's...

If you

send your mind back, they make you very
sad.

Sometimes if you ask me for this
question, how I remember that, I

need a little time to answer, because
it's very hard.

Because I spend, like, beautiful times
here.

Yeah.

It's like kind of my plot.

It's very hard to forget.

But all the, like, kids here playing
around, take care of the goat,

playing with your friend.

Joke with your brothers and sisters.

Make a joke with your parents.

Like at night time, just sitting around
the fire, talking.

Yeah, it's very hard to forget that.

Although the majority of people have
long since abandoned the area, a handful

have remained.

Boubou took me to meet a local woman,
Hera, who still lives a few miles away

from the camp with her husband.

Hera is the name Hera. How long have you
lived here for?

And is that a vegetable garden you've
got there next to the well?

Want to go see?

Yeah, can we have a look? Is that all
right?

This one, it's a room for winter times
to sleep.

Okay.

If you're cooking in there, does it not
get incredibly hot, like unbearable?

Because I'm struggling to just be
standing here having this conversation.

If you don't mind me asking, how do you
make money out here?

Bibi said that lots of people have left
this area. Why is it that you stayed?

You've never come close to going, no?

It's now 48 degrees.

What does 48 degrees feel like?

It feels like two degrees below 50. It's
very hot. I don't know what to say to

you. Do you know what I mean?

It's very hot.

Why aren't you sweating?

Why am I not sweating?

Because once the body... I've gone
through sweating.

So in terms of protecting yourself from
the heat, the body starts sweating and

then eventually goes, there's no fucking
point doing this.

You're too hot. And now gradually what's
happening is I'm slowly dying.

She seems very charming. And the thing I
can't get my head around is when you go

and you see all of the big sand dunes
and stuff like that and you're sitting

on a sand dune and you're looking across
the desert, that's romantic and it's

lovely and I get the appeal of it. This,
I've got to be honest, I don't get the

appeal of it. I'm sort of talking to
her.

It's a very tough life. It's got
tougher.

Most of the Berber people have moved on
because life is just too difficult here.

You know, I'd like to know what are the
things about it she loves, objectively

speaking, that is the reason that her
husband and her stay here.

Can I ask you what is the best thing
about living in the desert?

And what's the hardest thing?

The taking care of the goat is the best
and the worst.

She said it's very hard.

Hard is taking care of the goats.

If you were to leave the desert, what do
you think you would miss the most?

You're a big fan of tea and goats,
aren't you?

Thank you.

Hena's favourite thing about the desert
was goats.

The hardest thing was goats.

And what she would miss most was goats.

It would be easy to just dismiss her as
some sort of goat -obsessed rural tea

lover. But I think that would miss the
point.

Talking to her, I feel, you know, in
hindsight, I feel a little bit silly,

actually, because I was trying to figure
out what objective reasons she had for

wanting to live in the desert.

And, you know, what are the quantifiable
reasons that you want to stay here,

because it seems so hard.

What I realised from chatting to her,
it's not about why is it? Tell me the

reasons. Why do you love the desert?
Give me specific reasons why the

so great. It's not about that.

It's Boo Boo and her both just have a
love affair

with this way of life and this
environment, and, you know, it's not

explainable.

I think probably they have a connection
with it in a way that I probably, as an

outsider, am never going to really fully
understand.

You look at it, and when I look across
there, and I think, yes, that is

And it's starting to cool down a little
bit now.

But the truth is, it's very difficult to
engage with that side of it when it's

just so... I know it sounds like an
obvious thing to say. It is so brutally,

life -slappingly hot.

It's too hot, man. It is too hot.

We left Boo Boo's camp.

and continued our journey south,
entering the disputed area known as

Sahara.

We had driven even further into the
middle of nowhere.

Here there were no hotels, there were no
luxury camps.

Instead, we would be wild camping.

A euphemism, it turned out, for no comfy
tents, no comfy beds, and most

alarmingly, no loos, comfy or otherwise.

Question, when you're wild camping, what
do you do for the toilet?

For toilet? Yeah. I just, like, go and
then pee outside and then make your shit

outside.

How many shits do you think you've taken
in the desert, estimate?

Me? Yeah. Law, I don't remember. I don't
know, like, a thousand.

So let's work this out. Yeah.

Let's call it 300 a year, 20 years.
Yeah.

You've done 6 ,000 shits in the desert.

You look like you're looking for
somewhere to park.

Yes. Why? I'm parking here because here
it's hide.

It's covered a little bit. So this
protects us from the wind? It protects

from the wind, yeah. So we're going to
camp here?

Yeah.

Okay. Do yours, I do mine.

It don't fly, eh?

What's going on?

Where is the door? Okay, this is the
door, okay?

Yeah. Turn this around.

Okay.

This is insane, man. Here.

I know Boo Boo's an expert, but I think
he's underestimated my incompetence. I

think my incompetence might cancel out
his expertise and we're just going to

out here.

I wouldn't trust that to sleep in my
back garden at home, let alone the

Is there anything you're looking forward
to?

Just a sweet embrace of death.

Are you shitting me?

That's it up.

That's the tent up.

Look at it.

It's like... Oh, my God!

Oh, my God.

Honestly... Yeah?

..these tents aren't going to work, are
they? Be honest with me.

No, actually, I'm thinking just about
you.

Because normally me, I sleep outside.

So you bought these tents for me?

Yeah. And then now it's so much wind, it
doesn't work.

How would you sleep normally out here?

Here? Just outside.

Little mattress, blanket, and sleep
under the tops.

What's the snake situation?

Don't worry.

No, but what is the snake situation? No.

No? No.

I don't see any. I don't see any either.
I'm asking, are there any? No.

I realise that some people think that
we're just pissing about here and that

might go to a hotel. To those people, I
would say, point out the hotel for me.

Tell me which hotel you anticipate us
staying at.

Because any hotel you see here is a
mirage that's been brought on by desert

madness.

There is nowhere to stay.

So it's that... Well, no, it's just
that. I was about to give an option.

is no option.

But it's just that.

The spot we had stopped to camp at was
hundreds of miles from civilisation, an

immense barren landscape, seemingly
untouched by human hands.

It felt more inhospitable than ever, and
unlike everywhere else I've been, the

idea of actually living there seemed
impossible.

This is a very unique experience for me,
to be this in the middle of nowhere.

It's incredibly isolated.

I mean, it is... You just don't see
anybody.

And it's actually got to the point now
where I've got so used to travelling

through the sides and not seeing anybody
that you get a bit freaked out when you

do see somebody.

But there is just nothing. You know,
people set up and sleep wherever, but

there's no buildings, there's no
schools.

There's no hospitals, there's nothing
like that.

It's basically absolutely zero
infrastructure.

It's just completely untouched,
essentially.

It's a very different landscape from
where we were when we were at the luxury

camp. In terms of there, you're just
surrounded by non -stop dunes, and

sort of the, I guess, the stereotypical
vision I had of what a desert would look

like, you know, that kind of romantic
dune after dune. You do have sand dunes

here, but...

It's sort of punctuated by large areas
of just sort of flat brush. It's very

different. It's slightly cooler, much
windier, but just as irritating.

Despite the lack of people, ownership of
this remote region of the Sahara

remains highly controversial.

In 1975, as the Spanish abandoned the
region, Morocco initiated what was known

as the Green March.

sending 350 ,000 citizens south in order
to establish a permanent Moroccan

presence in the area.

The indigenous people, the Sarawi,
fought a long war in an attempt to gain

control, costing the lives of some 20
,000 people.

Eventually, in 1991, a ceasefire was
signed and a referendum was promised.

giving people the choice between
independence or becoming part of

This still hasn't happened.

Most Moroccans consider the area to be
Morocco, while tens of thousands of

Sahrawi people remain in exile just
miles from where we camped.

If you basically go 20 miles that way,
what you'll find is the second longest

wall in the world. It's essentially two
huge sand dunes in that there's a dip.

And in that dip, sort of 20 miles this
side of the border, is just a load of

landmines, and that whole area is being
patrolled to prevent people crossing.

If you speak to any Moroccans, they
basically say that this is part of

but the UN don't recognise it as part of
Morocco, nor does anybody else.

And the easiest way to demonstrate this
is if you take a map of Morocco that was

bought in the UK versus a local one.

If you look here, you can see a clear
border to the Western Sahara.

that delineates that completely, whereas
if you look at this local map, you can

see just below Tantan is where the
border's supposed to be, and they've got

nothing there, so that's just part of
Morocco.

We're in Dakhla, and just here, all the
way along here, is where that wall runs.

What's great about being out here is
you're completely on your own and away

the complications of life, yet this
whole area...

is beset by huge complication, and it's
gone on for so long that essentially

it's become like a forgotten dispute.

Do you know what I mean? It's not one of
these fashionable things that you see

in the news all the time.

It's a weird one.

Boo -boo?

Yeah? Are there any spiders out here?

I don't know how many times you asked me
just today.

Are there any spiders?

I don't know how many times you asked me
today. Yeah, okay.

I have to keep asking. You didn't answer
the fucking question.

I am answering the question. How many
spiders are there? Are there any

How many times you asked me today?

Are there any spiders?

I understand spiders.

I don't need to show me with your hand.
Are there any?

Hello? Oh my God.

How did you sleep?

I got up in the middle of the night and
I went for a piss.

Then the wind changed and the piss went
all over the gondola.

Morning.

Good morning.

I tried to go back to sleep but it was
too cold to sleep out there without the

gondola on.

When I got into the car, as I was
climbing in through this door, the wind

the door shut onto my finger.

I think it might be broken.

Which hand?

This one.

I was deeply

regretting the decision not to fake the
entire camping sequence.

I'd had almost no sleep, my back hurt
from lying in the boot of the car, and

sand that had settled into my arse crack
overnight was already beginning to

chafe.

Fortunately, Boo Boo had a solution,
offering to heal me with a traditional

desert treatment.

He suggested that we do this thing
called a sand hamam, which is the

desert equivalent of a spa treatment,
essentially.

Okay, this is a good spot to dig the
hole.

Okay. You dig a hole, you put someone in
it, you bury them, and then you lie

there for 25 minutes.

Thank you for doing this, baby.

Welcome, my brother.

I mean, essentially, I went to the top
of the dune with a man and an axe, and

said, I'm going to bury you.

Take your tissues off.

Okay.

Your head here. Yeah.

Your legs over there.

The heat from the sand, the warmth that
the sand is carrying is supposed to cure

you of any sort of ailments with your
joints and, you know, apparently,

according to Booboo, it cures rheumatism
and things like that.

The sand? Yeah.

I'll put the turbot on. Yeah, please,
please, please.

Stay like that.

Oh, my God.

Is this what you were planning the whole
time? Yeah.

Boo Boo has got to be one of the nicest
human beings I've ever met. The

attention to detail in terms of the TLC
that that man delivered during the Santa

Man is incredible. I felt like I was
being mothered. I half expected him to

me to suckle. It was incredible.

A little bit more.

A little bit more.

A little bit more?

If it's hot, tell me. If you don't feel
well, tell me.

It's hot and I don't feel well.

I mean, the truth is my back does feel
better having done it.

But my argument would be I did just lie
down for half an hour.

OK? Yeah.

Look, the truth of it is, is I get the
desert now. I understand it.

And it has been a very enjoyable
experience spending time with Boo Boo in

isolation with the sand and the heat.

What the hell happened to my stuff?

It's here.

Everything is still here.

The best way I can describe it is a few
years ago, I got invited to like a very

intimate Prince gig.

And we were very excited because Prince
was an absolute legend.

And I stood in the second row and just
stood and watched an absolute genius

play through his songs.

And that first hour of that gig was one
of the most incredible experiences of

my life.

When he entered into hour three of the
concert, I've got to be honest with you,

my thought was, I've heard about enough
of Prince now. And that...

It's how I feel about the desert right
now.

We were nearing the end of our time in
the desert.

Wearily, we climbed back into the car
and headed in the direction that I was

needlessly informed was west.

Now, this is the last thing I want to
show you. Yeah.

It's to take you to another surprising
again.

There's not another level of camping
that's more basic than the one we did

because I don't want to do that.

No, you don't worry about that. Trust
me, it's beautiful. It's nice.

Okay.

This is properly amazing.

Thank

you.

I love it. I love it.

Beautiful, isn't it?

A good time to kiss?

I'm very happy we've touched you from
the beginning to the end.

You too, man.

I'm glad you didn't hear the kissing
comment.

Yeah.

This has been the most challenging trip
I've ever done.

There have been times, if I'm being
brutally honest, where I have wanted it

come to an immediate end. That's the
truth of it. There's no... That is the

truth. There have been times when I
thought, I don't think I can carry on. I

don't want to do this anymore.

And further than that, I don't think I
can do this anymore.

You go out within, I reckon, five
minutes of getting out of a vehicle or

out in the sun, you cannot visualise
being able to do what you've got to do.

And that is how brutal the conditions
are. I would say it's probably the most

punishing conditions that I've ever been
in.

But you do have moments.

where you just think, this truly is
unbelievable. Like, I can't believe I'm

here. When you're sitting on the top of
a dune as the sun sets, that is magical.

That is incredible. There's no getting
away from that.

When we did the wild camping, Boo Boo
went off for a little walk, just for a

little while, and I was completely on my
own, just by the car.

And that was, I don't think I've
experienced anything like that. That

That sense of being... That solitude. I
don't think I've experienced solitude

like that, ever.

You forget how much of your life is
spent with noise and people and things

of invading your senses.

You're just sat in the middle of nowhere
and you've just become fully aware of

how alone you are in this environment.

And those are sort of the things that
I've found really rewarding about it.

I guess, you know, when I think about
Boo Boo and myself, we couldn't come

more different backgrounds.

Yet, we've sort of looked beyond that
and focused on our similarities and

allowed those similarities to bond us.
And in these troubled times, you know,

particularly at this time of year,
obviously, you find yourself wishing

more people would do that and just come
together as one community.

I mean, after all, isn't that the
greatest misadventure of them all?

Merry Christmas while alone.