All language subtitles for the_misadventures_of_romesh_s02e02

Okay, well, thank you very much for
coming. We're doing a second series of

Misadventures of Romesh Ranganathan, and
we're looking for some constructive

feedback.

So, I guess the first question I'd ask
is, what did you guys think of the show?

I thought you were really good in it.
Thank you so much.

Thank you. Because I'll tell you who
didn't.

This guy.

This is the cult of stupidity. Romesh
and his potty -mouthed, sarcastic

voiceover appeal to the sort of people
who think imagination, spirituality and

history are things to be sneered at.

At JohnMcCray189.

Arrogant, patronising, uninformed. So
different from my own experience, my own

experience of this fascinating country.

Can't even spell my name right. Unfunny
prick.

Terribly unfunny.

This dog reminds me of Romesh
Ranganathan.

It's not just about this feedback, it's
about getting your take. So, does

anybody else have any other thoughts?

Can I just say, I thought you were
really great in Travelman.

Do you mean Travelman with Richard
Ayoade?

We're done.

Against my better judgment, this time
I'm going to be visiting Mongolia,

Bosnia, Colombia and Zimbabwe.

Oh, my God. He is packing.

I want to know if our preconceptions of
these countries are justified.

Bosnia is the land of miracles.

Is there more to Zimbabwe than Robert
Mugabe?

Is there more to Bosnia than the war?

Is Colombia all about drug cartels?

Now this is beautiful.

I don't really think this is necessary,
do you?

Where are

you

travelling to?

I'm going to Mongolia.

Excellent. So, Ron, what do you know
about Mongolia?

What I know about Mongolia is very
little.

It is seen as the most remote place in
the world. You know, people go...

I'm heading to the middle of the answer,
Mongolia. You know, it's a punchline.

That's one thing I know about it. The
other thing I know about it is Genghis

Khan. So those are literally the only
two things I can tell you about

You're just going to feel a little
prick, OK?

So it actually says here that 8 % of all
Mongolians are descended from Genghis

Khan, which actually makes sense if you
think about it.

There are loads of Khans, aren't there?
Imran Khan,

Sadiq Khan.

Shere Khan.

James Khan.

Shaka Khan.

I flew

into the Mongolian city of Ulaanbaatar,
the capital of the most sparsely

populated country on Earth.

Only 3 million people live in Mongolia,
in a place roughly six times the size of

the UK.

I've been told to meet my local guide
Idra at a comedy club. So I grabbed the

first taxi I saw and headed into town.

You've

got

a lot of these sort of industrial
buildings with the smoke coming out the

right? Oh yeah.

I don't know what was happening, but
most of our power station in the city.

Yeah? Yeah.

So do you have pollution issues?

Oh, a lot.

It's one of the worst cities in the
world.

Really? Yeah. One of the worst in the
world?

Yeah. Now you can see the city covered
kind of by smoke.

Isn't it really annoying being a taxi
driver with all this traffic?

I'm not really a taxi driver.

I'm a lawyer.

But we do also on our free time kind of
taxi.

So you're not a taxi?

Oh, no, no.

I'm not a taxi.

So you just saw me and picked me up?

Yeah.

Does everybody do that?

Yeah. So if I was just driving along and
I saw somebody, I'd just pick them up?

Of course, yeah.

Everybody's trying to make some money.
Right, right, right.

The not -really -a -taxi -driver dropped
me off at the comedy club.

where I tracked down Idra, a TV
presenter, comedy compare, and local

entrepreneur. I've seen a lot of
Mongolians.

Hi, Ron.

How's it going?

You found it? Yes. How are you doing?

Welcome to Mongolia. Nice to meet you.
How do I pronounce your name?

It's Idra.

Idra. Yes, you can call me Idra. I,
Idra, anything.

Idra.

So would you say you're like a Mongolian
enthusiast? Are you proud and a fanatic

about the country?

Would you say? You are? What about
Mongolia do you like so much?

It's a very memorable place.

Memorable. Right. You could go to, I
don't know, fancy resorts and have good

times, but I don't think you would
remember that on your deathbed. Yeah,

wants to do that? Yeah, but you're going
to create a lot of moments that you

would absolutely remember when you were
100 years old. Okay. Before we go on a

trip, I should share a little life.

Philosopher with you your life is not
the length of time you were awake,

It's the collection of time you vividly
remember in the end of your life Yeah,

I'm not it could be bad. But in the end
when we look back it will be memorable

Okay, that's my point. You are offering
vivid Long -lasting memories what you're

not offering is any guarantee whether
those will be good or bad exactly, but

they will be remembered will be
remembered and it will be Worth

So you're saying I'm going to remember?
Yeah, I think so. Believe me.

Cheers, man. Cheers.

The next morning, Idra outlined his plan
for the

week. Travelling across his vast nation,
we'll be seeing everything from the

Gobi Desert in the south to the eagle
hunters of the west.

Taking in monasteries, nomads and epic
train journeys along the way.

We will start with a crash course in the
legacy of the Mongolian Empire, now

seen in the country's three manly
sports, archery, horse riding and

I mean, I don't really go in for horse
riding, and for a man with one lazy eye,

archery is frankly reckless.

So it was decided that we'd spend the
morning wrestling.

Every Mongolian kid tackle each other.
They grow up with a good notion of

wrestling techniques.

It's like soccer for European kids.

And I want you to have a little taste of
it and learn some defense techniques.

Why has he got a whip?

He's going to whip on your butt.

He's going to whip on your butt? To burn
more energy. If you're too slow, he's

going to punish you. Well, it's not
punishment. It's a little encouragement,

a manly style.

OK, so just to be clear, you've brought
me to a room filled with men in

underpants, and one of those men is
going to whip the other men?

Yeah.

What did he just say? Don't let the
police find out about our underground

club.

I asked if they had any spare kit, but
it became clear that borrowing someone

else's pants is considered disgusting.

Fortunately, Idra had bought me some new
ones, and by fortunately, I obviously

mean unfortunately.

First thing, this is... I don't need to
wear this. Nobody needs to wear this.

No, that was a mistake.

Okay. And also the other mistake was to
buy industrial Wolverine boots for this.

These are the biggest boots. Should be
fine. Should be fine, bro.

Should be fine. You're a big man.

Looks good.

Man needs big stuff.

Okay. You're ready. Let's go then. Yeah,
do it.

You look good.

Thank you. Wait, all right.

Wait.

It's the first time I'd say in my life
that I've worn the same thing that

everybody else is wearing, but still
felt horrendously embarrassed.

Because the outfit is not forgiving.

It's one step below just writing fat
bastard across my torso.

Hey, they welcome you.

I'm scared too.

What are you scared about?

A little bit scared.

Get a good grip. Get a good grip.

Exert a little bit.

You need to tell me what is about to
happen.

What is about to happen?

You went into it, and the guard would
go... Okay, do it, Ron. Do it. Do what?

I don't know what I'm supposed to be
doing. Go for it. Go for what?

Defend your position.

I don't know. Just do something.

What am I supposed to do?

Ron, I don't know. Just do something.

What am I supposed to do? Is the aim of
it to tweak his nipples?

Is the aim of it to pinch his... I don't
know what this sport is.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Whoa.

I'm serious, bro.

Go, go, go.

What is that?

That's a warning.

Do a good job or in the training, you'll
be smashed.

It was at that point that the session
very much got away from me as well as

from this production because nobody was
in control of what happened next.

Are you

okay?

But they were nice. They were very
friendly. They weren't...

They were as welcoming as you could be
when you're just pummeling the shit out

of someone that you've just met.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you, mate. Thank you, mate. Thank
you.

I requested

the

rest of the day off to visit a physio,
but Idra was keen to press on.

bundling us into the back of a Russian
camper van and driving us out of the

city.

It bore all the hallmarks of a Soviet
-era abduction, but Idra explained that

were going to see a statue of the
country's legendary leader, Genghis

In Britain, if I was in a vehicle and I
could smell fuel to this level inside,

that would be considered alarming.

Is that the same...

In Mongolia? Are you worried about how
much petrol you can... I mean, it is

strong, isn't it?

Yeah. Well, I kind of grew up commuting
in this type of van. Right.

Since childhood.

So I feel secure.

I mean, I would not justify it from a
technical point of view. No. But based

my experience, you should not worry
today. Okay.

I'm nervous even to fart.

I don't want to add anything more.

To the mix in here, do you know what I
mean?

Hey, Chinggis Khan statues right there.
Is that it?

Yeah. That is enormous, isn't it?

Born in 1162, Genghis Khan, or Chinggis
Khan to the Mongolians, was the founder

of the second largest empire the world
has ever known.

Rising from near total obscurity, he
brutally conquered an area stretching

Eastern Europe to Japan, killing an
estimated 40 million people in the

or 10 % of the world's entire
population.

weird, isn't it? His position so that he
ejaculates up onto his neck.

It's a good feeling.

He's revered in modern Mongolia. The
statue is symbolic of an effort to

Mongolian heritage after the years of
oppression the country experienced under

Soviet rule.

My perception of Chinggis Khan is grand
scale slaughter of people.

and took over a large part of the world,
right? Yeah, I understand. Sort of

aggressive takeover. I don't mean that
in a business sense. I mean that in a

killing everybody in sight sense.

So what is your take on that?

He was one of the most influential
figure who shaped the modern

world. For example, he was the first guy
who put law...

above anything else and also he
tolerated all religion and all

marriages i think he is not just the
founding father of mongolia but he is

also one of the founding fathers of the
world today right yeah he was said

to have killed around 40 million people
how does that sit with mongolians in

regards to sort of balancing up against
what they consider to be his positive

attributes

It's a historical fact, so I don't
really mean to justify all the deaths.

It was a long time ago. It was a long
time ago.

But I admire his legacy that is still
living today.

There could be maybe up to 30 million
descendants of him in the world right

Could be.

It's quite an admirable start, isn't it?
He's killed 40 million people, but he's

trying to single -handedly replace them.

Not content with erecting a giant 130
-foot statue of Chinggis Khan, there are

plans to make the site even more
impressive, with a massive army of 10

personalised mounted soldiers around the
base.

You are able to pay to be part of
Chinggis Khan's army. You get a life

statue of you on horseback being one of
Chinggis Khan's soldiers.

And so then I inquired about the price,
and that's when I was told it would

be... $15 ,000.

So I declined.

What did you get instead?

Well, for the statue lover that's on a
limited budget, they actually do a

smaller version for 200 quid. So I
decided to get one.

Are you happy with it?

Um... Am I happy with it?

Yeah, I guess so. I mean, it's a statue.

It is the ideal purchase if one of your
lifelong dreams was to have a horseback

statue of Dave Lee Travis.

The weird thing about it is they've done
the... They've actually done the horse

bits.

Up to here.

You can check it out, yeah.

It's so weird.

You idiot.

Why would they do the horse bits?

Are you mad?

That's 250 quid for that.

The next day.

I fought my way through an hour of
traffic to meet Idra in the centre of

city. I'd expected Mongolia to be about
huge open spaces, horses and goats,

clean air and zen living, but its
capital couldn't have felt more

In a country of just 3 million people,
nearly half live in the city, all

into a small dock in the middle of a
vast, otherwise empty country.

So I'm going to level with you. This is
much more urban and built up than I

anticipated it being.

This city was originally built for only
300 ,000 people during the Soviet time.

Right. But the population has grown into
1 .3 million.

Okay. That's way above. That's a million
more people than it was designed for.

Right. And the infrastructure is not
catching up fast enough.

And that's causing a lot of
environmental pollution.

It's a disaster level pollution.

Half the people live in a, we call it,
GER district.

GER is a nomadic, it's a nomadic house.

Okay. And because of that, they are
burning coal.

In the winter, when it gets colder than
this, maybe after a month, we will have

massive smog in the air.

Right. In several months of the cold
winter, this city turns into the most

polluted city in the world. It's
unbearable, I think.

Unbearable? Unbearable for a lot of
families.

So what will this city look like when
it's really cold, then? Would we be able

to see across this square?

Not really, not really.

The explosion in Ulaanbaatar's
population began in the decades

overthrow of Soviet rule in 1990.

Under the communist state, Mongolian
language and culture were outlawed and

religions were suppressed.

Now the country is experiencing a return
to traditional beliefs, with religions

such as shamanism undergoing a revival.

So what exactly is shamanism? Shamanism
is an ancient religion that was

practiced by Mongolians for thousands of
years.

Right. And Buddhism is a latecomer that
was adopted after Chinggis Khan's

conquest of Eurasia.

And shamanism is reviving and mostly
people who have deep problem in their

go to shamans for solution and
mitigation for their family issues.

Idra offered to introduce me to a
traditional shaman, a respected

figure. who could connect to powerful
ancestors from Mongolia's ancient past.

We tracked her down on the far side of
the city, working in a day job at a

beauty salon.

I'll translate for you. You can ask any
question you want. Any question?

Any question. Okay, great. Can I ask how
it is she has become a beautician and a

shaman slash shaman?

So how does it work then?

And does she have any control over when
it happens?

The normal term is twice a week it
happens.

The spirit will do twice a week?
Probably non -working hours.

Right.

On Wednesday after work hours, spirit
usually comes in.

Okay. And we can go there together.

So we can go there now?

Yeah, probably we should just... We'll
wait for her to finish this later, yeah.

Okay.

Will I find this experience as a
Westerner frightening?

Not in a way that it's haunting, but in
a way that it's just new and

unworldly. But man can be brave only
when he's scared.

Okay, I swear sometimes you make this
shit up.

Oh, look at this guy now. Come on. What
is this driving in this country, man?

Such was the state of the traffic, the
three -mile journey to the GER district

took us over two hours.

I mean, listen to it, man. It's crazy.

Are you serious right now?

I mean, everybody's on the line. This
guy's not. It's straight across the... I

think it's switching.

At one point, we came close to
abandoning the idea.

But Ayuna told us she only has access to
the ceremonial gear on Mondays and

Wednesdays.

The other shaman welcomed their spirits
on Thursdays and Fridays, and so...

If we really wanted to meet this spirit,
this was our only realistic window.

We ploughed on.

So this is the yurt district that we
were talking about earlier. You see

fences around here?

You smell the coal?

Oh wow, that is strong, isn't it?

Okay, here we are. Great. Here we are.

They had to put an ayuna into the
clothes that she wears to receive the

And then I knelt in front of her, him.

Don't face your back.

And he then talked to us about our
problems.

Now, there's two ways of interpreting
that. One way is

to say it's incredibly insightful
because I do have a problem with my eye.

The other side of the argument is I'm
wearing glasses and both my eyes don't

look in the same direction, so...

That could be an indication that there
is a vision issue.

He then said, is there a predator in the
family?

And my first thought was Lisa's mum.

But then it became clear...

But then it became clear he was talking
about an animal.

It can be a dog. Predator, no.

It could be anything, like... No.

Idris said, it could be anything, it
could be anything.

So then I just said, yes, it's a dog.

Yes, yeah.

Because I didn't want to be
disrespectful.

And then I thought we'd move on.

But it turns out the dog was to prove to
be quite focal to the whole ceremony.

So I thought, what's the easiest way to
draw a dog on its legs?

So I just drew it sat down.

But the head was so disproportionately
large to the body.

First of all, I had to screw up the
piece of paper.

And then burn it completely.

So look at the flames well, and then
this will replenish your physical fire

in you.

And also this will disconnect your
guilt.

He then took the ash, put it in a little
thing of vodka.

I then had to walk out with the vodka
out of this gate and then 21 steps

towards my home, which is in west.

So I had to walk 21 steps west.

and then tip the vodka out the outside
of my palm and then come back.

There we go.

Before coming out of the trance, he said
that he thinks that my major issues are

sorted out, but that I had many, many
small issues with my body that couldn't

really be resolved in one session.

Would you go back to get your other
issues resolved?

Yes.

Yes, I would.

If he happened to be in Crawley.

After three days in the city, it was
time to move on and explore the rest of

country. I'd enjoyed bits of my time in
the capital, but I still felt that I'd

not really experienced the best of
Mongolia.

When we first arrived in Ulaanbaatar, I
think you had this sort of textbook

reaction, which was, oh my God, it's
like much more built up than I thought

was going to be.

And so you've got that initial reaction,
but to be honest...

That has slightly been to its detriment
in terms of the fact that we have spent

time in a city that is not geared up to
deal with the number of people that are

there.

It's hugely polluted. So much so that
the more affluent residents move

during the winter because it's too much
for them. The traffic is insane.

It is...

rage encouragingly insane.

Every day in Ulaanbaatar is like your
worst day in the UK, traffic -wise. It's

mad. They've had to introduce traffic
calming measures, where if you've got a

certain number of plates, you can only
drive in the city on certain days. And

that is happening in the most sparsely
populated country in the world.

I mean, the pollution is at such a level
that apparently they're having to build

a second airport because during the
winter, when the smog is at its highest

levels, at the current airport, planes
can't see to land.

If Mongolia was just Ulaanbaatar, I'd be
arriving at a very swift conclusion

that it's not really for me.

But I'm looking forward to seeing a bit
more of the countryside and seeing if

maybe that's going to sort of alter my
first impression on it.

That night, we headed to the train
station to catch an overnight train down

the Gobi Desert, in the far south of the
country.

The Trans -Mongolian Railway is part of
a legendary route that stretches

from Moscow all the way to Beijing, a
journey which takes six nights and

five time zones.

We'd be travelling just one stop south,
but even that would take nine hours, and

so Idra decided to pass the time by
teaching me some key Mongolian phrases.

Can you say... What does

that mean?

It means I love my horse.

It's a line to make instant bond with
any Mongolian man.

Is that right?

Yeah, whatever trouble happens, just say
that.

How do you say in Mongolian, it's too
early in this friendship to be sharing a

cabin on a train?

Well... I can express that in terms of
horse.

Why is everything horse with you?

Because it makes more sense.

Like, you wouldn't say we're best
friends.

You would say our horses are best
friends.

Are you being serious right now? Yeah,
I'm serious. That's how you express it?

Right. I love your horse. That means I
love you, man.

Same thing.

Is that true?

That's true.

You wouldn't say, oh, we're getting
along well. You would say, oh, our

are rubbing.

to each other okay are you winding me up
now no it's uh it's true okay how do

you say my horse can't believe i've got
to spend nine hours with your horse

It is the desert.

Where are the sand dunes?

Covering most of southern Mongolia and
northern China, the Gobi is an area five

times the size of the UK.

Although despite the misleading title,
only 5 % of it is actually desert in the

sandy Lawrence of Arabia sense.

We were here to visit a unique Mongolian
Buddhist site that lies in the heart of

this vast expanse of nothing.

We're going to the energy center of the
earth.

What's the energy center? What does that
mean?

Mongolians believe that there's a spot.

Right. Where all the energy is
concentrated.

Okay. And how are we getting there?

We've got camels.

If I get on a camel, I'm just going to
get loads of shit on Twitter from

militant vegans.

He's going, I didn't realize
misadventures meant misadventures of

All that shit.

Hashtag horrendous animal abuse.

Hashtag camels are people too.

Are you saying that Twitter guides your
life?

No. Don't be ridiculous.

Instagram as well.

So you see, we are able to enjoy the
camels, and two of those camels would

had people on them, and they don't now,
as a direct result of what we've done.

How does that feel?

It feels good. I kind of get your point
now. Yeah? Yeah, these are happy.

I mean, admittedly, it's, I would say,
about 5 % as comfortable as I thought it

was going to be.

Yeah.

Where's the actual energy centre?

It's around here. This is it, yeah?

The energy centre and nearby monastery
were established around 1820 by Dantan

Ravja, Mongolia's most revered spiritual
leader.

who believed the site to be the location
of a gateway to the mythical land of

Shambhala.

In Mongolian culture, it's considered to
be the sacred place where all the

energy of the world converges.

This is where you

tie this blue cloth.

It's called khatak.

Khatak. Khatak, yes.

This symbolizes holy and clean spirit in
you.

Tie a beautiful knot.

There you go.

Let me just do one more.

How's that?

Looks perfect.

Pre the Soviets, this was like a big
religious hub.

Then the Soviets came and shut it all
down. And now it's come back to be sort

a place where people come to visit.

Regardless of what your beliefs are or
not, there is something.

I'm trying to look for another word
apart from energy, but there is an

these places.

Even if you don't believe it at all,
there is something nice about coming to

places like this, and there's sort of
like a vibe here.

It's good.

I also noticed that over there, lots of
people just sort of lying down. Oh,

that's the main point.

That's the main point? That's the main
point. This is the pinnacle of our trip

here. That over there? That over there.
What is that? That's the exact spot of

energy center of the Earth.

We lay there connect with Mother Earth
and get that energy.

I like the absolute tranquility.

Some people are known to transfer the
energy through mobile signal to their

families. Should I try?

Yeah. I'm going to try and call my wife.

Hello?

It's me.

Oh, sorry, sorry. I'm in this... No.

No, the reason I'm calling is I'm in an
energy circle.

Huh?

An energy circle thing.

Sorry, I just wanted to test it.

All right, I'll speak to you in a bit.

Okay.

All right.

Did she feel it?

What she felt was...

That it was too early for me to call
her.

In truth, the rejuvenating benefits of
the energy centre had failed to offset

the exhausting nine -hour train journey
required to reach it.

But Idris seemed content that we were
ready to move on.

He was taking me to meet a traditional
nomadic family.

But along the way, we stopped to look at
another Mongolian statue.

What do you think?

What exactly is this statue doing here?

It's a bit of a mystery.

Nobody really knows who's doing this and
why these statues are appearing

in different spots in Mongolia. I can
tell you the why. The why is because

amazing.

It's not shoddily done, is it? It's a
very well... Crafted? Correct, yeah. A

very well -crafted stone cock.

It is.

Is this part of the whole Mongolian
manliness thing? Do you know what I

Wrestling, archery, horse riding, huge
cock statue.

I have no idea, but a number of people
come to these statues to ask for

fertility.

You would have to touch it?

Yeah.

How much do you think it weighs?

Three tons?

Yeah.

What do you feel? What do you feel?

Stone!

What do you think about the flame?

Well, everyone's got them, haven't they?

Nothing unusual in that.

The old hot rod.

The thing that I find mind -blowing
about this statue is that nobody knows

it's here. You can't find any
information about it.

That, to me, is typical of the
difference between Mongolian attitudes

British attitudes, because if you were
in a nature reserve or a national park

Britain, nobody would go, oh, have you
seen that massive stone cock in the Lake

District? Yeah, what's that all about?
Don't know.

Just think it appeared there one day.
They're just cool with it. That would

never happen.

What's another good thing to do with a
statue that looks like a cock?

Get enough of a distance away so that
you can do funny pictures.

Cox's side, it was clear that there's an
awful lot of nothing in the Mongolian

countryside.

50 % of the population still live
nomadically out here.

Some 1 .5 million people spread more
thinly than anywhere else on the planet.

I was keen to learn how you meet
someone.

when the nearest available woman might
live over 50 miles away.

But Idri explained that monthly dance
nights are held and agreed to take me to

see one.

So we're going to check out this dance
party? Yeah, we're going to check out a

dance party in a small town.

It's nothing like clapping in the city.

OK. But we need to be a double -winged
man for my friend tonight.

So we're going to try and find him a
partner?

Yeah, it's all about him tonight.

OK.

This is it, yeah? Yeah.

Satellite dish, nice.

Oh, thank you.

Thank you.

So, this is a very nice place. How long
have your family had a gear in this spot

here?

How long do you think you'll be living
with your parents for?

Yeah, legend.

How do you go about meeting a girl?

It's Facebook.

It's Facebook, is it?

Wow. And is there anyone that you've got
your eye on particularly tonight?

Does she know that you like her?

Maybe, OK.

She thinks you're annoying.

Is that what he said?

Ichmir had proved himself to be a
perceptive young man, but he apparently

wanted Idra and I to go along with him
to the big dance night.

We went in and I was expecting just kind
of a straight kind of party, like a

club almost.

But it wasn't quite. It wasn't a club.
What is going on in there? And what are

those dancers that they're doing?

During the communist times of Mongolia,
the government would require every

citizen know five to seven dances.

And this is where people meet each
other. Right.

Well, we saw Ishma, he's in there.

You spoke to him, confirmed that his
potential partner is in there.

He seems to have almost no competitor.

No, there's no competitor.

I think just looking at him and looking
at the competition... Right.

He's obviously winning. He's clearly the
thoroughbred in there. Absolutely,

100%, right? Yeah.

The night had a sweet innocence about
it, like a school disco.

Only at this school disco, if you struck
out with a girl...

The next available one might live
several hundred miles away.

But Ichmir had a plan, a tactic that is
familiar to teenagers the world over.

We were to laugh out loud at his jokes
and generally give the impression that

were having the best night of our lives.

She just thought, oh my God, who are
those cool guys? That guy in the middle

just making them laugh so much. So we
started doing that and then we started

doing a little bit of bopping in the
sea.

Yeah!

Just really... Then we started going for
it. Oh, a bit of a wave.

A bit of a wave. And then, when the
moment was right, we stood up and then

started going for it.

And then Idra basically terrorised
everybody that wasn't in the couple.

And it worked.

Unbelievably, it worked.

That was amazing.

It's so good, it almost makes me think I
want to leave my wife and then get him

to set me up with...

Someone better. Do you know what I mean?
Because I did settle.

The following day, we got up early and
continued our journey back to

Ulaanbaatar, where we boarded a four
-hour flight to Ulgi, in the far west of

the country.

Idja was promising a change of pace,
saying that we'd be spending the next

days experiencing the true remoteness of
traditional Mongolian life.

Staying in a gear in the Altai Mountains
and meeting some eagle hunters.

We are now what looks like in the middle
of nowhere, but this is not enough.

This is not nowhere enough for you. No,
it's not. So we're going deeper into the

nowhere. Yeah.

I think you will find your own beauty in
absolute isolation.

As the overwhelming smell of petrol
filled the car, we traveled further and

further into the darkness.

And it became clear that something was
seriously amiss.

So our destination was supposedly 20
kilometers away. Now we have driven

over 70 kilometers.

And this valley is not ending at all.

I think we're right in the middle. And
there are different branches of mountain

range.

surrounding us, and it's impossible to
locate the right direction.

Okay, so we're lost.

We're not lost unless the driver gives
up. So the driver is upbeat, and the

driver is checking out the valleys to
find the gear. How many valleys are

Hundreds.

He's starting to panic.

He's starting to panic.

Because the driver has started to sound
negative.

He's starting to crumble.

What? Oh, what should we use to
navigate?

Oh, that's right.

It's like the end of the world out
there.

At this moment, As a captain of the car,
I would like to officially announce

that we are in a stage called We're
Lost.

Right, OK. Well, that's great.

The situation appeared hopeless. There
were no buildings, no landmarks. We had

no phone reception, no GPS.

And the only sign of life was a small
goat which forced our vehicle to a

halt.

This is nowhere.

This is proper remote, isn't it?

I've been slightly undermined by that
vehicle going past, but still, you get

idea.

How cold is it?

It's the wind.

It's the wind chill factor of, fuck me.

She'll be fine.

Miraculously, the owner of the goat
eventually realised his animal had

off the truck, returned to collect it,
and pointed the way through the

There are roads, we're not in, like,
complete wilderness.

Oh, look!

We found it? Look, turn around.

Holy!

Holy crap!

Hey!

Hey! We found it!

I think that hug is like a little too...
So, yeah, it's not... You got worried,

right?

Yeah, as a captain of this vehicle, I
was worried.

I'm going to have to confess that I
cannot sugarcoat it with being Mongolian

this time.

And I sincerely apologize for the...
That was bad, wasn't it? For the, yeah,

incidence of being lost. Okay, don't
worry about it. It's all good. Don't

Yeah. Fine, mate. We're here now. Yeah,
okay. Yeah, but we're men, right? Yeah,

sure. Let's go.

Let's go check it out.

No, not again. Come on.

Oh,

God.

Thank you

very much for having us. We're very
grateful.

Okay, great.

Salo and his family are eagle hunters,
whose ancestors migrated here from

neighbouring Kazakhstan.

Their life is part of a nomadic
tradition that, camera crews aside, has

unchanged for thousands of years.

So what is it you enjoy about this
lifestyle?

. . . . .

Hello, mate. Hey, mate.

How was your night?

It was wonderful.

Well, this is very nice. We do feel like
we're in the middle of nowhere, but

where exactly are we?

Straight up Kazakhstan.

Kazakhstan. And Russia just about there.
Yeah.

Just about there.

That's China.

On the way.

Cool. Yeah.

Hey!

You look great.

Are you excited buzzing to go hunting?

So how did we get there?

The problem is, if I don't ride the
camel, then ride the horse, then

going to go nuts, you know? Yeah. I just
can't.

I mean, it's my fault. I apologise.

I've painted myself into a vegan corner.

It's fucking freezing. Should we just
get in?

I mean, this is pointless, isn't it?

Yeah.

We're going to get in.

Eagle hunting has taken place in this
region for thousands of years.

a way to get the fox and rabbit furs
needed to survive in this harsh

environment.

In recent years, the area has hosted an
annual festival to celebrate this

ancient practice, drawing in hundreds of
eagle hunters from Mongolia and nearby

Kazakhstan.

That's it.

Jesus Christ.

I didn't expect it to be that big.

It's like a dragon.

Oh, God.

Yes. Yeah,

it's enormous.

I am deeply uncomfortable.

What's with the hood?

Any moving object?

Saulo wanted to demonstrate the awesome
capabilities of his eagle.

But having made such a big deal about
not riding camels or horses, I don't

really feel like I could be responsible
for killing a fox.

Obviously I don't want to hunt a fox,
but I still want to take part in

proceedings and show respect to our
host. So I have found a way that we can

fox hunting, but it's on my terms.

Okay, we're ready!

Where's the eagle?

It's escaped.

So,

what's plan B? We could try smearing in
meat and let it run again.

I would say it slightly undermines the
object of the exercise, but yeah, I'm

willing to do it. If it will make it, do
it.

Okay, let's go.

Go,

go, go, go. Go, go, go, go. It's not
moving.

It's like... Oh,

my

God.

That was incredible.

Incredible.

Smashed it.

Eagle smashed it, we smashed it.
Success?

Success. No fox had to die.

The car experiment worked.

Now all I've got to do is dry clean this
and give it to my youngest son.

My preconceptions about Mongolia were
all based on the fact that Mongolia is a

stereotype for being in the middle of
nowhere.

You could spend your time in
Ulaanbaatar, and if you didn't know

the rest of the country, you'd think the
place is the most overpopulated country

on earth. I mean, it's just people on
top of you. It's insane. The traffic is

unbearable. And then you travel outside
of the city, and you don't see anyone.

We're constantly in Britain and in the
West talking about how we want to get

mindfulness and we want to cut off and
we want to be able to distance ourselves

from the busyness of life.

Well, that is what Mongolia gives you.
It definitely has niche appeal, I would

say. And so, you know, if I'm speaking
for me personally, I wouldn't say it's

particular cup of tea, but if you're
looking for...

an opportunity to completely disconnect,
to cut yourself off from the rat race

or whatever other cliche you want to
use, to be completely immersed in nature

and get as far away from civilisation as
you can. Mongolia probably does that as

effectively as anywhere else in the
world.

Ladies and gentlemen, can I tell you
something? Mongolia has been absolutely

wonderful. Keep supporting UB Comedy
Club. You've got an amazing place there.

Well, that was humiliating.

When I think of Bosnia, it only evokes
those images

of tragedy and conflict.

Welcome to 1992.

Thank you.

I don't really think this is necessary,
dear.

Bosnia is the land of miracle.

Fucking hell.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.