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1
00:00:06,220 --> 00:00:10,060
My dreams are all dead and buried.
2
00:00:11,300 --> 00:00:18,000
Sometimes I wish the sun would just
explode, would just explode. When God
3
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,020
and calls me to his kingdom.
4
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:26,120
I'll take all you sons of bitches when I
go. Let her blow.
5
00:00:28,280 --> 00:00:31,580
Hunter. I might let me drive that thing.
Come on.
6
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:32,920
Touch the trim.
7
00:00:34,980 --> 00:00:39,140
Hey, Daddy, I see one. I see one. All
right, now, calm down. Hold steady now.
8
00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:43,780
Let me light the eye and fire.
9
00:00:48,980 --> 00:00:50,980
That buck kind of screams like a man.
10
00:00:52,430 --> 00:00:54,930
Hey, dumbass, can't you see we bow
hunting out here?
11
00:00:55,170 --> 00:00:56,170
Must be worrying.
12
00:00:56,490 --> 00:01:01,650
Hold it, Early. You can't be bow hunting
here. This is a closed set.
13
00:01:02,170 --> 00:01:04,269
Y 'all making one of them filmy movies?
14
00:01:04,510 --> 00:01:05,730
Like what they got on the TV?
15
00:01:05,970 --> 00:01:08,230
That's right, Rusty. I'm part of the
crew.
16
00:01:08,530 --> 00:01:11,930
Uh -uh, no, sir. Y 'all ain't shooting
no damn movie on my back 40. Not without
17
00:01:11,930 --> 00:01:13,090
no monetarily computation.
18
00:01:13,790 --> 00:01:14,669
Hell no.
19
00:01:14,670 --> 00:01:15,469
Excuse me, guys.
20
00:01:15,470 --> 00:01:19,150
Oh, my God, Daddy. That's Tance
Jackerman. I seen him on the TV. You
21
00:01:19,150 --> 00:01:20,810
remind me a lot of Bubba Briscoe.
22
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,660
It's the character I play in this film.
He's a near -do -well black sheep of the
23
00:01:24,660 --> 00:01:27,420
family, but he does what it takes to
provide for his kin.
24
00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,240
I don't know no Bresco. Hey from
Lumpkin?
25
00:01:30,500 --> 00:01:31,500
He's fictional.
26
00:01:31,820 --> 00:01:32,820
Make -believe.
27
00:01:32,900 --> 00:01:36,040
Lumpkin's real. Just one time over.
Don't you try and trick me.
28
00:01:36,260 --> 00:01:37,840
What do you have going on for tonight?
29
00:01:38,540 --> 00:01:40,760
Well, it's a pretty damn busy evening.
30
00:01:41,020 --> 00:01:43,140
Got to inhale this here gallon of
mineral spirits.
31
00:01:43,500 --> 00:01:44,500
Been with Lestat.
32
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,320
Would you mind if I just hang out?
33
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:50,840
You know, shatter you. Is that some kind
of weird -ass Hollywood sax thing? No,
34
00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:52,840
no, no, no. I just want to see what
makes you tick.
35
00:01:53,060 --> 00:01:56,760
I got me a deer tick on my tank about as
big as a damn nickel. He wants to see
36
00:01:56,760 --> 00:01:58,220
my ticks, Rusty, not yours.
37
00:01:58,460 --> 00:02:00,660
Of course you'll be paid handsomely for
your time.
38
00:02:00,860 --> 00:02:03,000
You live here now. You see that tank?
39
00:02:03,240 --> 00:02:06,440
A southern man tells it like it is. Now
let's get it. Woo!
40
00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:08,620
Let's get it. Woo.
41
00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:11,940
Y 'all. Y 'all.
42
00:02:12,470 --> 00:02:14,050
No. It's y 'all. Y 'all.
43
00:02:14,670 --> 00:02:15,830
Y 'all. Y 'all.
44
00:02:16,170 --> 00:02:17,069
Y 'all.
45
00:02:17,070 --> 00:02:17,989
No R.
46
00:02:17,990 --> 00:02:20,010
Hell no. Yam. Y 'all. Yamons.
47
00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:21,730
Where the hell'd you get that?
48
00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:25,610
Man, it's harder than it sounds. No, no,
no. Repeat after me now.
49
00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,910
Y 'all fixing to tie a whoopin' on
Junior and them.
50
00:02:28,230 --> 00:02:32,110
You're all fixing to tie a whoopin' on
Junior and them. Junior and them, damn
51
00:02:32,110 --> 00:02:34,850
it. It's one word. Junior and them.
Don't break it up like a nerd.
52
00:02:35,070 --> 00:02:36,009
Hold on, let me.
53
00:02:36,010 --> 00:02:39,570
Me, me, me, me. My, my, my, my, my, my,
my, my, my, my. Stop praying to your Jew
54
00:02:39,570 --> 00:02:42,630
gods. Put this in your mind and you
never forget it.
55
00:02:42,830 --> 00:02:45,910
Say y 'all when you want to call on all.
56
00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:48,910
Say y 'all when you want to call on all.
57
00:02:49,130 --> 00:02:53,250
Yeah, there you go. You get me. Say y
'all when you want to call on all.
58
00:02:53,490 --> 00:02:54,490
There you go.
59
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:57,670
Now when you're mixing with a vexing,
you say fixing.
60
00:02:58,690 --> 00:03:01,530
I'm fixing to be mixing with a vexing.
61
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:04,700
You best be fixin' to get your licks in.
62
00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,080
It might help you learn the diction.
63
00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:14,240
Cause I'm fixin' to put my dicks into
your dicksin'. He's fixin'
64
00:03:14,240 --> 00:03:20,320
to put his dicks into my dicksin'. He's
got it. Hell yeah. Let's celebrate.
65
00:03:24,880 --> 00:03:26,560
Wow, you make that look easy.
66
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:27,989
Here, you try.
67
00:03:28,030 --> 00:03:30,190
All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You
lost your mind?
68
00:03:30,410 --> 00:03:34,710
This is my beer. You shotgun one of
yours. Okay, okay. I guess we'll go buy
69
00:03:34,710 --> 00:03:35,448
beer for me.
70
00:03:35,450 --> 00:03:36,930
That ain't how you do a beer run.
71
00:03:37,390 --> 00:03:39,030
This here's how you do a beer run.
72
00:03:39,570 --> 00:03:42,430
All y 'all fixing to go down on the
floor.
73
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:45,350
Damn, you don't use y 'all when you're
talking to one person.
74
00:03:45,570 --> 00:03:49,770
This here's a damn individual, and he's
got a name. It's Boyd. Oh, well, thank
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00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:51,190
you. Shut your mouth, dirt.
76
00:03:51,410 --> 00:03:53,210
Now go on and fetch the beer while I
stomp.
77
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:57,840
Boy, it's brains out. How about a half a
weitz in there? A cherry wheat? No, get
78
00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,380
the good stuff. The towel cans.
79
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:01,100
Oh, the police.
80
00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:04,100
Should we strip down to the waist and
try to fist fight him?
81
00:04:04,740 --> 00:04:05,740
Early?
82
00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:09,780
Hello? This is usually about the time he
passes out during this procedure.
83
00:04:10,420 --> 00:04:12,420
Hey, Mr. Jackerman, can we get a photo
together?
84
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:15,680
Yeah, sure, guy. Without fans, I
wouldn't have a job.
85
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:17,360
Well, I'd probably have a job.
86
00:04:17,600 --> 00:04:18,740
Easy asleep, yeah?
87
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:24,350
This here's Tanks Jackerman. So you best
let us both the hell out of here right
88
00:04:24,350 --> 00:04:27,390
now. I know who it is, Early. I'm just
trying to be cool.
89
00:04:27,650 --> 00:04:30,830
They don't like it when you treat them
like they're all things. That's right.
90
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:34,770
Just treat me like any other common
white trash lowlife. Like him.
91
00:04:35,010 --> 00:04:37,290
Well, as long as I got you in there.
92
00:04:38,060 --> 00:04:40,240
Let me pitch you an idea for a
screenplay.
93
00:04:40,620 --> 00:04:44,500
Don't sell this now. I'm just an actor.
You know them movies where a guy gets
94
00:04:44,500 --> 00:04:47,500
conked on the head and he kind of
switches identity with a kid?
95
00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:48,739
I did two of those.
96
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:54,900
Well, my movie's kind of like that, but
this guy switches places with a moose. I
97
00:04:54,900 --> 00:04:56,220
call it Loose Change.
98
00:04:57,720 --> 00:04:59,780
Why not just call it Moose Change?
99
00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:01,560
Moose Change.
100
00:05:01,780 --> 00:05:04,070
Hot! Damn, how'd I miss that?
101
00:05:04,410 --> 00:05:09,170
Tance Jackerman in my cell, writing a
movie with me. You know what? I think I
102
00:05:09,170 --> 00:05:10,570
got this whole jail thing.
103
00:05:10,870 --> 00:05:13,550
Why don't you go ahead and let me out?
Best let my ass out, too.
104
00:05:13,770 --> 00:05:16,130
Hell, I'm a consultant producer on this
here project.
105
00:05:16,390 --> 00:05:17,850
It is armed robbery.
106
00:05:18,150 --> 00:05:22,370
Look, I can tell you're a good cop. And
we may need someone to play a cop in the
107
00:05:22,370 --> 00:05:24,590
scene where the monster eviscerates a
bunch of cops.
108
00:05:24,790 --> 00:05:26,830
You think I could play a policeman?
109
00:05:27,050 --> 00:05:30,050
I knew there was a reason I had this
uniform.
110
00:05:32,700 --> 00:05:38,420
Here, you smell on this long and hard
until the face Jesus comes down and
111
00:05:38,420 --> 00:05:39,640
you who to punch.
112
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,980
I ain't fixing to do that, Hurley.
113
00:05:42,780 --> 00:05:46,100
I have a personal training session in a
couple of hours. Let's meet at my
114
00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:48,800
trailer at 7 .30 for breakfast. We'll
chew some fat.
115
00:05:49,940 --> 00:05:51,620
And here's 500 bucks for the day.
116
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,000
Thanks, bro.
117
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:54,040
Oh, no.
118
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:56,360
Just because you pay me don't mean you
can lay me.
119
00:05:56,620 --> 00:05:57,900
I'm going to use that.
120
00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,180
Just because you pay me don't mean
you're going to lay me.
121
00:06:02,890 --> 00:06:05,310
You're bringing shame upon this house.
122
00:06:05,530 --> 00:06:10,370
Them Hollywooders only aim to Jew -tize
you and homosexualize you. Shut your
123
00:06:10,370 --> 00:06:14,390
damn sperm, Gurgler. Hell, he just gave
me $500 just to hang out and be myself.
124
00:06:14,850 --> 00:06:19,890
Why can't you be cool like that, huh?
Well, I still don't approve, but let's
125
00:06:19,890 --> 00:06:23,290
take that money to the engine casino and
buy some cocaine.
126
00:06:24,330 --> 00:06:25,330
My head shot.
127
00:06:26,190 --> 00:06:31,010
I can horseback ride and ice skate. I do
several dialects, and I've got a spot
128
00:06:31,010 --> 00:06:32,010
on Italian.
129
00:06:32,430 --> 00:06:35,210
Mama mia, that's a spaghetti meatball.
130
00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:37,470
Me no like other races.
131
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:39,230
Uh, yeah.
132
00:06:39,350 --> 00:06:42,430
Tell you what, let's go ahead and try
the lines on the page.
133
00:06:42,890 --> 00:06:45,890
With the italiana, for me to say for
you.
134
00:06:46,110 --> 00:06:48,270
With the regular English, please.
135
00:06:49,110 --> 00:06:52,430
Cop three, heroic, hold firm, guys.
136
00:06:52,650 --> 00:06:54,910
That creature don't know what it's up
against.
137
00:06:56,150 --> 00:07:00,090
Okay. Maybe a little more bold. You're
really rallying the troops here, you
138
00:07:00,090 --> 00:07:02,910
know? Monster's coming to get you, so...
All right, got it.
139
00:07:03,430 --> 00:07:07,210
Cop three. He wrote it. You don't have
to read the character names. Just the
140
00:07:07,210 --> 00:07:09,210
lines would be great. Oh, okay.
141
00:07:09,890 --> 00:07:11,270
I got you. All right.
142
00:07:11,790 --> 00:07:16,390
Hold firm, guys. That creature don't
know what it is up against.
143
00:07:20,060 --> 00:07:22,720
Okay, that was wonderful. Thank you.
144
00:07:23,100 --> 00:07:27,660
My address is on the sheet there. Yeah,
we've got that here. Y 'all give me a
145
00:07:27,660 --> 00:07:32,580
call. I don't have an agent yet. So
don't forget to remember a meal.
146
00:07:33,640 --> 00:07:34,940
I hear you.
147
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:36,180
Oh, thanks.
148
00:07:37,260 --> 00:07:41,240
We do cocaine down here in the South, so
you need to observe me doing some
149
00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:45,260
cocaine. Give me one of your $100 bills.
I need you to roll it up, fill it with
150
00:07:45,260 --> 00:07:47,260
cocaine, and blow it straight up my ass.
151
00:07:47,500 --> 00:07:48,500
Where the hell were you, bro?
152
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:51,600
I've been being myself for two days
straight.
153
00:07:51,880 --> 00:07:54,740
It ain't my fault you didn't show up for
work.
154
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:58,680
Early, I was counting on you to be an
undependable black sheep from the wrong
155
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:01,960
side of the track, and you can't even
make it to a basic call time?
156
00:08:02,280 --> 00:08:04,040
I hear you, bro, but listen.
157
00:08:04,460 --> 00:08:10,040
I need today's money now so I can get
back my two days ago money back from
158
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:13,960
Chickasaw Cuisine or what took my money.
You know what? Here's $200.
159
00:08:14,220 --> 00:08:16,220
You and me, we're done.
160
00:08:16,440 --> 00:08:18,420
We're done when I say we're done.
161
00:08:18,640 --> 00:08:23,060
And we have many, many payments of $500
away. We're done.
162
00:08:23,540 --> 00:08:27,840
You can't have cocaine, too. Bring
cocaine. Skyler, we need you at gate two
163
00:08:28,760 --> 00:08:29,760
Roger that.
164
00:08:30,020 --> 00:08:33,600
He pays me to act like me. And I've
been...
165
00:08:35,639 --> 00:08:37,059
You owe me money!
166
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,240
And don't forget the booger sugar.
167
00:08:39,500 --> 00:08:41,179
I'm crashing hard here.
168
00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,239
Now, y 'all listen.
169
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:45,380
They're about to shoot that big monster
scene out by the river. Is that my
170
00:08:45,380 --> 00:08:47,760
shack? They stole my shack!
171
00:08:48,260 --> 00:08:51,240
Yeah, they wanted to rent our shack, but
it's just cheaper to build one. Hey,
172
00:08:51,240 --> 00:08:53,800
see if they'll give you that shack.
That's the better shack.
173
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:54,839
Now, listen.
174
00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,380
Please don't ruin this for me. I'm
actually good at this.
175
00:08:57,620 --> 00:08:58,620
Doing what?
176
00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,520
Well, hanging lights, mostly. Hanging
lights, huh?
177
00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:03,000
Well, hey, Granny.
178
00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:06,920
How many rusties does it take to hang a
light bulb?
179
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:12,000
One. Y 'all are both super high right
now. Y 'all need to go get you some
180
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,980
All right, dammit, I'll calm down.
181
00:09:14,480 --> 00:09:18,840
But you tell your old buddy, Tanks
Jackerman, that I'm gonna be here in
182
00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,520
Madder, old spirit.
183
00:09:22,820 --> 00:09:25,740
Also, would you please tell him that...
I know, Granny, you're interested in
184
00:09:25,740 --> 00:09:26,880
cocaine. Thank you.
185
00:09:28,220 --> 00:09:29,920
Monster climax pick 1A.
186
00:09:30,900 --> 00:09:32,260
And action.
187
00:09:35,500 --> 00:09:42,020
monster huh you mean the monster the
monster is you what's going on i can't
188
00:09:42,020 --> 00:09:46,080
have brought a knife to a monster fight
189
00:09:46,080 --> 00:09:53,000
audition to really dry it up since
190
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,740
your little stunt down at the river
early it's really dried up people coming
191
00:09:56,740 --> 00:10:01,070
around paying me to act like me too
Fangs are tough all over. Yeah, but you
192
00:10:01,070 --> 00:10:05,730
didn't spend $4 ,000 on headshots, did
you? They took your picture down at the
193
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,730
barbecue joint.
194
00:10:06,830 --> 00:10:10,790
Dammit, you take this over there and put
it up right next to the Oak Ridge boys
195
00:10:10,790 --> 00:10:15,230
on that wall of fame, and you can tell
them I got 10 ,000 more where that came
196
00:10:15,230 --> 00:10:17,270
from. Just come in. Straight to DVD.
197
00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:19,510
Finally. Pop it in, Boyd.
198
00:10:20,510 --> 00:10:24,350
I've been fixing to live on this river
all my cotton -picking life.
199
00:10:25,710 --> 00:10:31,010
If Jarl's standing my way, Jarl gonna
get what's coming to Jarl.
200
00:10:31,210 --> 00:10:32,490
Hard to believe he's British.
201
00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:36,890
All right, all right, fast forward over
to my scene. I got a speaking part, and
202
00:10:36,890 --> 00:10:37,890
I want to see this.
203
00:10:38,110 --> 00:10:42,090
Well, that guy's creature doesn't know
what it's up against.
204
00:10:42,390 --> 00:10:44,150
Holy hell, are you kidding me?
205
00:10:44,390 --> 00:10:45,510
Wait, roll that back.
206
00:10:46,590 --> 00:10:49,490
Yep, that's me right there. See that?
207
00:11:13,230 --> 00:11:14,230
Yargle.
17483
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