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1
00:00:05,690 --> 00:00:07,430
My dream.
2
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:51,160
Yeah.
3
00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:56,360
What's that? Come on, now. Put on these
here edibles.
4
00:00:57,560 --> 00:00:58,940
Now, come on, Glenn's wife.
5
00:00:59,220 --> 00:01:00,260
Be a professional now.
6
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:04,160
I'm sorry, but them damn granny panties
just won't gonna do it for me.
7
00:01:05,400 --> 00:01:09,160
Doug'll get it. Thing is, Early, Doug
ain't the judge here no more.
8
00:01:09,420 --> 00:01:12,380
He's been forced off the bench. What the
hell?
9
00:01:12,700 --> 00:01:14,120
But Doug... was so chill.
10
00:01:14,340 --> 00:01:15,840
Always forgiving and forgetting.
11
00:01:16,180 --> 00:01:20,120
Well, it was actually that forgetting
part that got him in trouble. It's
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00:01:20,120 --> 00:01:25,360
dementia. He didn't even have any idea
who you were or what you was up to.
13
00:01:26,400 --> 00:01:31,400
I'll rise for the Honorable Judge
Quintavious Jammer. No, no, no, no, no,
14
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:32,700
no, no, no. The other one.
15
00:01:33,700 --> 00:01:34,700
Oh, okay.
16
00:01:35,300 --> 00:01:37,560
Get them asses up off them pews.
17
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,280
Get them asses up, Gil.
18
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:40,520
Get them up.
19
00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:45,840
Put them damn hands together and make a
clamor for Judge Quintavious the Hammer.
20
00:01:46,500 --> 00:01:48,600
Jammer! Ooh, yeah!
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00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:52,020
Ha, ha, ha! Keep that jammer clamor
going!
22
00:01:52,300 --> 00:01:56,160
All right, no more jammer clamor. What
do we got here?
23
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:02,540
Ooh -wee! Somebody been creeping around
being sneaky and freaky and taking a
24
00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:07,080
peeky. Your Honor, all I was trying to
do was simply spice up my relationship
25
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,079
with Glenn's wife.
26
00:02:08,410 --> 00:02:09,870
This here video will show.
27
00:02:10,470 --> 00:02:12,230
Oh, looky here. It's broke.
28
00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:13,269
Case closed.
29
00:02:13,270 --> 00:02:14,189
Case dismissed.
30
00:02:14,190 --> 00:02:15,950
Y 'all sumbitches ain't got nothing on
me.
31
00:02:16,150 --> 00:02:18,170
I find you guilty as charged.
32
00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:21,790
Fine. Put me in jail. I can do the time
standing on my head.
33
00:02:22,070 --> 00:02:26,530
What you want on that pizza, Early?
Double cheese, sausage, and them cheesy
34
00:02:26,530 --> 00:02:27,530
breads, too.
35
00:02:27,630 --> 00:02:28,629
No, sir.
36
00:02:28,630 --> 00:02:34,040
I'm not. I'm allowing the taxpayers to
fit the bill for your evil, evil ways.
37
00:02:34,180 --> 00:02:37,700
Not this time. It won't be no meat
lovers. It won't be no double cheese.
38
00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:39,800
It won't be no cheesy bread.
39
00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,420
Oh, I got something for your ass.
40
00:02:42,900 --> 00:02:44,120
It's about to be on.
41
00:02:45,940 --> 00:02:47,580
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
42
00:02:47,880 --> 00:02:52,360
I regard women's behinds and boobies
more than I regard their right to
43
00:02:52,620 --> 00:02:55,920
Because I'm a red -blooded American male
and I got needs, damn it.
44
00:02:56,160 --> 00:02:59,460
Hell, she should have been flattered I
took interest anyhow. Early, let's stay
45
00:02:59,460 --> 00:03:01,640
with the court -appointed text. Why I
gotta say all this?
46
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,520
Everybody knows I'm a dirty -ass dog.
47
00:03:03,860 --> 00:03:04,819
It's my thing.
48
00:03:04,820 --> 00:03:08,500
Well, Judge Jammer wants you to feel
ashamed about what you've done. That's
49
00:03:08,500 --> 00:03:10,660
he gives out these unconventional
sentences.
50
00:03:11,060 --> 00:03:14,340
I also think he kind of gets off on
shaming folk.
51
00:03:15,420 --> 00:03:16,420
Early?
52
00:03:17,020 --> 00:03:18,300
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
53
00:03:18,580 --> 00:03:22,900
I'm into being shamed. Well, I'm a
harlot with low self -esteem who
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00:03:22,900 --> 00:03:23,900
herself for money.
55
00:03:24,380 --> 00:03:25,800
Yeah, baby, I can read.
56
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:30,080
Ooh, yeah, baby. Early, Darla.
57
00:03:30,680 --> 00:03:33,520
Y 'all supposed to be doing this in the
middle of downtown.
58
00:03:34,140 --> 00:03:35,140
What, this?
59
00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,220
No, not that.
60
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:38,680
That's the same stuff.
61
00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:40,260
I'm cured now.
62
00:03:40,500 --> 00:03:45,060
Now get the hell out of my damn way,
because I'm drunk and pissed and naked,
63
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:46,060
I'm driving home.
64
00:03:50,940 --> 00:03:54,980
your whistle, launching your missile
into a prostitute's gristle.
65
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:56,300
Damn, boy!
66
00:03:56,440 --> 00:03:58,000
What you gotta say for yourself?
67
00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,860
I'm sorry, Judge, but I found Jesus. The
hell you did?
68
00:04:03,120 --> 00:04:05,980
Jesus wouldn't be a part of this sin and
divinity.
69
00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:08,640
Uh, permission to approach the bitch?
70
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:12,620
I said bitch! Excuse me?
71
00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:16,079
Aw, hell, he don't get it. You're damn
lucky somebody wasn't killed here.
72
00:04:16,339 --> 00:04:18,600
But we're still gonna have a funeral.
73
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:19,880
Oh, yes, sir.
74
00:04:20,459 --> 00:04:21,760
Yes, sir, we are.
75
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:28,220
Goodbye, party licker. May the flyers on
this grave be forever getting sideways
76
00:04:28,220 --> 00:04:34,820
tonight by all 180 proof of your...
Goodbye, madame Fatimene Puffery.
77
00:04:35,060 --> 00:04:39,980
When I was feeling down and depressed,
your fumes always lifted me up and freed
78
00:04:39,980 --> 00:04:44,220
me of my worries, my dignity, and most
of what was in my bowels.
79
00:04:44,440 --> 00:04:46,580
I got to have me some milk.
80
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:50,620
That there's public talking makes me
nervous. Go ahead, Early. Push the whole
81
00:04:50,620 --> 00:04:51,660
meth lab in there.
82
00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:54,980
Why can't you just put me in jail?
83
00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:57,060
I mean, y 'all got three pizza pies in
there.
84
00:04:57,300 --> 00:04:58,740
Now, toss in your truck keys.
85
00:04:59,060 --> 00:05:01,100
Judge Jammer don't want you on the road.
86
00:05:01,600 --> 00:05:02,600
Ugh, damn.
87
00:05:07,860 --> 00:05:09,540
Those were my keys, weren't they?
88
00:05:09,800 --> 00:05:11,140
I reckon they was.
89
00:05:11,660 --> 00:05:14,480
Woo -hoo! We got us a free coffee table,
y 'all. Hot damn!
90
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,130
It's a coffin. See?
91
00:05:17,890 --> 00:05:21,310
I just wanted one more for the road.
92
00:05:21,890 --> 00:05:25,610
Judge ordered y 'all to keep it in here
for five years as a reminder that
93
00:05:25,610 --> 00:05:29,250
drinking and drugging and driving lead
to dying.
94
00:05:29,510 --> 00:05:33,050
Pretty soon you'll be saying huffing's
part of the damn deal, won't you? Sorry,
95
00:05:33,070 --> 00:05:34,070
bud.
96
00:05:34,590 --> 00:05:38,370
Fine, then. But mark my words, this ends
today.
97
00:05:40,390 --> 00:05:41,390
Today!
98
00:05:42,530 --> 00:05:43,530
Hmm.
99
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:45,240
That's ominous.
100
00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:47,640
Is the judge in?
101
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:50,420
Oh, that's my reading glasses.
102
00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,160
I can't say a darn thing without them.
103
00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:54,860
Say, is the judge in?
104
00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:57,940
How about you hop in the X -ray bin,
please?
105
00:05:58,720 --> 00:06:03,140
Is the judge in? What time does the
judge get here? I just want to talk to
106
00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:08,640
Son, do you realize I could put you away
for this?
107
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:09,879
You could?
108
00:06:09,880 --> 00:06:13,540
Would you consider doing that? I mean, y
'all got the free pizza pies and all.
109
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,020
I mean, that there will teach me.
110
00:06:15,300 --> 00:06:17,520
You love using pizza, don't you?
111
00:06:17,780 --> 00:06:18,780
Yes, sir, I do.
112
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:24,520
And you got the proclivity for stuffing
items up inside your bone hole, don't
113
00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:26,360
you? Well, where you going with this?
114
00:06:28,370 --> 00:06:29,370
Damn, that's hot.
115
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:30,950
Blow on it. I'm sorry, Daddy.
116
00:06:31,690 --> 00:06:33,910
That judge says it's got to be piping
hot.
117
00:06:34,410 --> 00:06:37,850
It's going to burn the skin off the roof
of my butt. All right, now. Judge said
118
00:06:37,850 --> 00:06:41,150
I got to add the wild boy bread. Why the
hell is this happening to me?
119
00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:43,510
Why is that happening to me? That's my
question.
120
00:06:43,810 --> 00:06:46,190
Where's the damn sheriff? Hear ye, hear
ye.
121
00:06:46,590 --> 00:06:52,230
Instead of stopping a robbery in
progress, I was changing my profile pic
122
00:06:52,230 --> 00:06:53,810
kitty dressed as a Jedi.
123
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:56,640
I'm a sorry excuse for a lawman.
124
00:06:56,960 --> 00:07:00,460
Uh -uh. You're supposed to be doing that
in the center of town, Hoss. In front
125
00:07:00,460 --> 00:07:01,460
of the Lord and everybody.
126
00:07:01,660 --> 00:07:05,360
Yeah, well, there's so many punishments
going on downtown that they got to
127
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:06,360
spread us out.
128
00:07:06,700 --> 00:07:08,060
Here you, here you are.
129
00:07:08,540 --> 00:07:11,900
I was only trying to spice up my
marriage. I didn't even really want to
130
00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:17,000
All I did was park in a handicapped
space without a permit. This was the
131
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,000
sign they had left.
132
00:07:18,300 --> 00:07:23,540
Put along hoagie, $6 .99 with your
choice of chips and drink.
133
00:07:24,580 --> 00:07:28,620
Let's do this meatball hoagie deal
another day. I think we're getting lost
134
00:07:28,620 --> 00:07:29,620
the shuffle here.
135
00:07:29,780 --> 00:07:33,160
That Judge Jammer's got a bee in his
bonnet, that's for damn sure.
136
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:34,720
Hear ye, hear ye.
137
00:07:35,630 --> 00:07:40,050
I'd like to peep me some women while
they's trying on glaziers at the
138
00:07:40,490 --> 00:07:45,050
Well, hell, Granny, I told you I had
video of it. Well, you prattled on about
139
00:07:45,050 --> 00:07:47,770
so much, I figured I'd give it a whirl.
140
00:07:48,050 --> 00:07:52,750
I hate to say it, but something's got to
be done about Judge Jammer. If he's
141
00:07:52,750 --> 00:07:55,430
going to shame us, we're going to have
to shame him.
142
00:07:56,430 --> 00:08:00,330
I've always heard that a good way to get
a judge out of office is to catch him
143
00:08:00,330 --> 00:08:03,190
in bed with a dead woman or a live boy.
144
00:08:05,390 --> 00:08:06,810
Y 'all work it out amongst yourselves.
145
00:08:12,750 --> 00:08:14,730
The hell are you doing, little boy?
146
00:08:15,050 --> 00:08:18,990
Come on, Granny. You've lived such a
long and rich life. And there's plenty
147
00:08:18,990 --> 00:08:20,290
more left in the tank.
148
00:08:20,570 --> 00:08:24,470
All you gotta do is lay down naked with
the man for a few photos.
149
00:08:25,670 --> 00:08:29,070
Maybe a little ass, please. The hell you
say! The hell you say!
150
00:08:29,390 --> 00:08:33,809
When I said shame, really, I was
thinking more likely. Just get a hold of
151
00:08:33,809 --> 00:08:34,970
tax records or something.
152
00:08:35,250 --> 00:08:39,270
Maybe get his high school yearbook photo
and put it up on a big old billboard.
153
00:08:40,350 --> 00:08:43,110
Well, sounds like somebody's hasted out
a compromise.
154
00:08:44,210 --> 00:08:45,650
Great! Okay!
155
00:08:46,210 --> 00:08:47,650
I knew it!
156
00:08:48,570 --> 00:08:49,890
That's my little bitch.
157
00:08:53,710 --> 00:08:54,710
All right.
158
00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:55,800
Disrobe yourself.
159
00:08:56,720 --> 00:09:00,780
Now, we're going to sneak up in his
bedroom, and you get in close to him.
160
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:03,320
your arms around him. We're going to
snap a few shots, and we out.
161
00:09:04,420 --> 00:09:06,520
Maybe a little ass play. Damn it, I
know.
162
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,720
I know.
163
00:09:08,440 --> 00:09:09,480
Hold on.
164
00:09:10,580 --> 00:09:12,780
Damn, Daddy. Stop bitching and open the
door.
165
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,540
I ain't going through no damn plate
glass.
166
00:09:15,740 --> 00:09:16,719
What the hell?
167
00:09:16,720 --> 00:09:18,000
Hold on. Settle us down.
168
00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:24,060
Who dares enter the sacred realm of the
Naked Tickle Party slash potluck
169
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:26,560
fundraiser for cystic fibrosis?
170
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,460
Show thyself!
171
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:34,340
I didn't say nothing. It's just me,
Judge Jammer. Oh, no. There's no Judge
172
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:35,079
Jammer here.
173
00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:36,080
He's moved.
174
00:09:36,100 --> 00:09:38,520
He's renting this place out for this,
uh...
175
00:09:59,820 --> 00:10:02,960
I'm an unfit lawman, though, remember?
176
00:10:04,730 --> 00:10:05,730
It's just meatless.
177
00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:08,510
All right. Okay. All right, guys.
178
00:10:08,930 --> 00:10:11,150
There's got to be a way that we can work
this out, huh?
179
00:10:12,610 --> 00:10:15,830
All rise for the Honorable Judge Douglas
Peppers.
180
00:10:16,210 --> 00:10:17,230
Welcome back, Doug.
181
00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:19,770
Who's Doug?
182
00:10:20,590 --> 00:10:21,569
That's you.
183
00:10:21,570 --> 00:10:24,150
Doug, my man. Welcome back, hoss.
184
00:10:24,370 --> 00:10:25,970
Doug, welcome back.
185
00:10:26,990 --> 00:10:30,770
Let me just flip this nameplate around
for you. Thank you, Doug.
186
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:37,910
What song is this?
187
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:49,950
You could probably just go home, Earl.
188
00:10:53,590 --> 00:10:54,990
Now the drum solo.
15038
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