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1
00:00:04,569 --> 00:00:08,270
My dreams are all dead and buried.
2
00:00:09,970 --> 00:00:13,890
I pray every day that my earth would
just explode.
3
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:22,350
Now when the good Lord comes and calls
me to his kingdom, I'll take all his
4
00:00:22,350 --> 00:00:24,810
heartache, some bitches down when I go.
5
00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:26,410
Just let it go.
6
00:00:30,970 --> 00:00:32,430
Blow it all to hell.
7
00:00:34,530 --> 00:00:36,130
Well, well, well.
8
00:00:36,430 --> 00:00:37,690
What do we got here?
9
00:00:38,090 --> 00:00:40,330
New debelishment going up next door.
10
00:00:40,870 --> 00:00:44,590
Somebody's building some high -quality
homes, that's for sure.
11
00:00:44,910 --> 00:00:48,970
City slickers coming in here, pumping
cash into our depressed local economy.
12
00:00:49,190 --> 00:00:51,250
No, sir. Not on my back, 40.
13
00:00:51,910 --> 00:00:56,350
But you sold them their land, didn't
you? But the location sucks a damn egg.
14
00:00:56,960 --> 00:01:01,180
Ooh, they asses. I sold them out the
nicest spot overlooking that waterfall.
15
00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:05,720
Yeah, you can't raise no chickens over
there. It's too damn purdy. This here is
16
00:01:05,720 --> 00:01:06,720
where the chickens is.
17
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,800
So no chicken crap over there? That's
right. They don't get the chicken crap
18
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:17,040
over there. We got the damn chicken crap
all over here.
19
00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:19,620
Yeah.
20
00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:21,820
Let's move over there.
21
00:01:22,640 --> 00:01:24,760
Yeah, move away from the chicken crap.
22
00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:31,790
Enjoying the free game, huh?
23
00:01:33,450 --> 00:01:36,050
I tell you what, with all those arms,
you're not going to miss a button.
24
00:01:39,190 --> 00:01:41,550
Nice to meet you. I'm Staff Sergeant
Shaver.
25
00:01:42,390 --> 00:01:45,330
That's one of them hands near my butt.
I'm about to get high score on this old
26
00:01:45,330 --> 00:01:47,010
boy. Oh, yeah.
27
00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:51,190
You really opened up a can on those
seahorses. Now, why aren't you blasting
28
00:01:51,190 --> 00:01:54,630
insurgent Blueberry? He's right there on
his knees. Come on, pop it. He's
29
00:01:54,630 --> 00:01:57,170
observing this holy season of ram -a
-lam -a -ding -donging.
30
00:01:57,400 --> 00:02:01,900
He's praying to a broccoli lord. Oh,
hell, he does that five times a day.
31
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:05,700
some laser -guided cake frosting up his
ass. Then he'll be able to meet his
32
00:02:05,700 --> 00:02:08,960
pagan, non -Christian, false idol of a
broccoli lord.
33
00:02:10,220 --> 00:02:14,740
That just don't feel right. Son, how
would you feel if you let him live and
34
00:02:14,740 --> 00:02:19,360
hijacks a butterfly and slams it into
the side of the gingerbread center? And
35
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,980
the next thing you know, all your
peppermint fairies are wearing scarves
36
00:02:22,980 --> 00:02:27,240
their faces. Or God forbid, he should
sneak into Glitter Junction and detonate
37
00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,340
peanut butter brickle cluster.
38
00:02:29,720 --> 00:02:31,000
All right, then.
39
00:02:33,140 --> 00:02:35,380
There you go, soldier. High score.
40
00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:37,400
Mission accomplished.
41
00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:41,750
Well, thanks for the game. I'm going to
go out in the parking lot and see if
42
00:02:41,750 --> 00:02:45,130
somebody will run over my foot and give
me some food money. Now, hold on, son.
43
00:02:45,350 --> 00:02:48,170
How would you like a career out of
playing video games?
44
00:02:48,390 --> 00:02:52,530
Plus, you could earn money for school,
travel, see the world. Well, the dusty
45
00:02:52,530 --> 00:02:53,269
part of it.
46
00:02:53,270 --> 00:02:55,390
Everything over there looks like a big
motocross track.
47
00:02:55,730 --> 00:02:59,590
That sounds pretty badass. Well, you
just sign your name right here and we'll
48
00:02:59,590 --> 00:03:02,290
hook you up with a free haircut and some
jewelry.
49
00:03:02,610 --> 00:03:04,070
Wait a minute. I've got to say, Buck,
wow.
50
00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:07,550
Y 'all gonna let me keep the business up
front and party in the back? The U .S.
51
00:03:07,550 --> 00:03:10,450
Army is dedicated to find the right
haircut for you.
52
00:03:13,230 --> 00:03:14,650
Gated community, huh?
53
00:03:15,230 --> 00:03:19,210
Guess they think they're better than us.
They ain't gonna keep me out. Just look
54
00:03:19,210 --> 00:03:20,210
who moved into town.
55
00:03:20,640 --> 00:03:23,500
And I don't keep my yard grass as damn
tall as I please.
56
00:03:23,940 --> 00:03:27,620
And I may play around the golf without
signing up for a tee time.
57
00:03:28,020 --> 00:03:33,740
I wear slutty clothes at the bus stop.
Oh, I may be old, but I can still wreck
58
00:03:33,740 --> 00:03:36,840
marriage. Here's where we're going to
live, right here. We're going to put a
59
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,660
in the ground and some beer. On ice and
all my horny pals are.
60
00:03:41,020 --> 00:03:43,600
It's kind of a clunky nickname. We
couldn't fit it all on the helmet.
61
00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:44,840
I got to wear a helmet?
62
00:03:45,199 --> 00:03:46,540
No, that's just for show.
63
00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:50,000
You're miles from the combat zone. Hey,
man, these are just like the controls
64
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,000
from the video game.
65
00:03:51,460 --> 00:03:52,460
Weird, huh?
66
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,880
Well, let's see if it works just like
the game.
67
00:03:55,140 --> 00:03:59,320
Now, don't twerk or facebox about this
now. I'm told your generation likes to,
68
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:03,360
you know, do some crap with your phones.
I don't know. Hey, man, can I mash me
69
00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,380
up some explody buttons now? You bet,
soldier.
70
00:04:05,660 --> 00:04:07,920
All right, now, which one of these
buildings should I tear the ass out of?
71
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:13,300
Damn it. No plumbing, no electrical, no
roofs, no walls.
72
00:04:13,740 --> 00:04:15,320
Ain't no wonder they ain't got no
buyers.
73
00:04:15,740 --> 00:04:16,940
Shoddy -ass construction.
74
00:04:17,899 --> 00:04:19,839
Frankly, I don't like the layout.
75
00:04:20,180 --> 00:04:21,360
Where's the privacy?
76
00:04:21,700 --> 00:04:25,760
They slapping up low -income housing
right next door to our lower -income
77
00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:29,330
But wouldn't that... Jack up our
property value.
78
00:04:29,810 --> 00:04:31,990
Damn fine, though. I ain't no master
magician.
79
00:04:32,470 --> 00:04:35,550
Neighborhood don't make no damn sense to
me. I mean, you've got to have a
80
00:04:35,550 --> 00:04:38,590
package store here and here and here.
81
00:04:38,970 --> 00:04:43,870
And there needs to be a striptease club
open on Sundays. That's right. So let's
82
00:04:43,870 --> 00:04:49,170
all get out and vote yes on Prop 16. You
know you can't put a titty house right
83
00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:50,190
next to a school.
84
00:04:50,590 --> 00:04:52,870
That ain't no school. That's a terrorist
training camp.
85
00:04:53,450 --> 00:04:57,070
That's different. Well, it's still a
trade school. They are learning the
86
00:04:57,350 --> 00:05:00,190
Wait, what the hell's a terrorist
training camp doing in my town?
87
00:05:00,430 --> 00:05:01,950
We got to drive them sumbitches out.
88
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:03,930
Vote yes on Prop 27B.
89
00:05:04,210 --> 00:05:08,830
Certainly aren't a lot of shopping
options, though. Everywhere you look,
90
00:05:08,830 --> 00:05:09,830
a target.
91
00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:12,010
Space alien attack!
92
00:05:12,310 --> 00:05:14,990
This cannot be good for property values.
93
00:05:15,370 --> 00:05:16,530
We're being disorientated!
94
00:05:17,830 --> 00:05:21,970
Quick, Randy! Inside the uranium
enrichment facility, there's a hospital!
95
00:05:22,650 --> 00:05:24,270
Damn alien space teenagers.
96
00:05:24,770 --> 00:05:27,070
Nothing better to do than to blow our
asses off.
97
00:05:27,530 --> 00:05:29,030
Grab your human shield, woman.
98
00:05:30,910 --> 00:05:31,910
Double shield.
99
00:05:32,590 --> 00:05:33,890
Woo, hell yeah.
100
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:36,870
I laid me a stone cold whooping on that
daycare facility.
101
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,230
Nice job, soldier.
102
00:05:38,570 --> 00:05:40,250
Go ahead and lay waste to the
playground.
103
00:05:40,570 --> 00:05:41,449
Wait a minute.
104
00:05:41,450 --> 00:05:42,470
Something's moving down there.
105
00:05:42,730 --> 00:05:46,550
Oh, I wouldn't worry about it. Keep
shooting to earn more gold coins.
106
00:05:47,610 --> 00:05:48,610
What the hell?
107
00:05:48,830 --> 00:05:49,890
We lost the feed.
108
00:05:50,390 --> 00:05:51,390
The drone's down.
109
00:05:51,850 --> 00:05:55,910
Maybe somebody just unplugged the game.
This is not a game, soldier, even though
110
00:05:55,910 --> 00:05:59,570
it's been carefully designed to look
like one. Don't you understand? If this
111
00:05:59,570 --> 00:06:02,510
were to happen over Afghanistan, the
insurgents would put their brightest
112
00:06:02,510 --> 00:06:04,670
engineers on figuring out our
technology.
113
00:06:05,070 --> 00:06:07,410
I said, what planet are you from?
114
00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:11,930
You best talk to me, robot. I have ways
to make him talk.
115
00:06:12,510 --> 00:06:14,030
I ask him questions.
116
00:06:14,780 --> 00:06:17,000
And then he'll answer with words.
117
00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:20,220
And then you corner him in the damn
kitchen and start prattling about your
118
00:06:20,220 --> 00:06:24,080
foot problems. But they don't make
proper shoes for winning with my foot.
119
00:06:24,080 --> 00:06:25,820
don't want to know, and neither do I.
120
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:28,640
Get to water. We're going to waterboard
his ass.
121
00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:30,980
Sweet or unsweet?
122
00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,460
Bitch, you brought tea.
123
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:34,920
Look, there's another one coming.
124
00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:39,480
Well, well, now. If it's a fight they
want, it's a fight they shall get.
125
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:40,800
Early dollars!
126
00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:45,390
I regret that you're home.
127
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:51,070
Back in the woods 40 miles from the
city. Ain't nobody up here but us squid
128
00:06:51,070 --> 00:06:52,070
billies.
129
00:06:52,970 --> 00:06:58,470
We got no money and we ain't good
looking. But we sure know how to give a
130
00:06:58,470 --> 00:06:59,650
healthy ass whooping.
131
00:07:01,390 --> 00:07:04,130
Tangle with us and we'll make you pay.
132
00:07:04,530 --> 00:07:06,430
Mountain folk will find a way.
133
00:07:07,130 --> 00:07:09,710
We always gonna find a way.
134
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:18,780
and we don't give up as long as the
moonshine fills my cup.
135
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:24,060
Let's roll by my side and take my gun.
We're gonna make the marathon and make a
136
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:25,060
canyon run.
137
00:07:28,420 --> 00:07:33,580
You can knock a weapon out of two -faced
and hey, mountain folk will find a way.
138
00:07:34,420 --> 00:07:36,980
We never don't find a way.
139
00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:43,340
I'm supposed to find a way.
140
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:48,720
Damn it, son.
141
00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,540
You're losing all our drones. I thought
you said you could play this game. Man,
142
00:07:52,540 --> 00:07:55,120
I swear there's something down there
attacking us. I'm doing everything just
143
00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:56,960
like in the game. Switch over to thermal
imaging.
144
00:07:58,720 --> 00:07:59,920
There, right there. Attack.
145
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:02,940
Oh, hell with you.
146
00:08:03,940 --> 00:08:06,540
What are you doing to me? I need to
amputate.
147
00:08:07,140 --> 00:08:08,140
Create a diversion.
148
00:08:08,560 --> 00:08:11,520
Now you get on up there in that clearing
and do some of that square dancing you
149
00:08:11,520 --> 00:08:12,520
love so damn much.
150
00:08:12,730 --> 00:08:14,030
But that's where they're shooting.
151
00:08:14,570 --> 00:08:15,950
Well, that's where I'm shooting.
152
00:08:19,470 --> 00:08:20,470
Granny?
153
00:08:22,930 --> 00:08:25,330
The terrorist. There he is. Actually,
it's a she.
154
00:08:25,610 --> 00:08:28,430
But I can see where you'd make that
mistake, though. She ain't always had
155
00:08:28,430 --> 00:08:32,650
beard. I don't give a damn whatever it
is down there. You light it up.
156
00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,279
He's bluffing.
157
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,060
Very weirdly.
158
00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,840
No, sir, it ain't no bluff. He believes
it.
159
00:08:55,120 --> 00:08:58,920
Well, he's still a moron. He taped a
bottle rocket and remote control to her.
160
00:08:59,020 --> 00:09:01,340
Bring it on, you son of a Martian bitch!
161
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:05,560
I'm your huckleberry, walking in the
valley of the shadow of the dolls.
162
00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:10,000
Beyond the valley of the shadow of the
dolls. Okay, now he's butchering lines
163
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,860
from Tombstone. It's a damn gun movie
with a Bible valley in it. Just
164
00:09:13,860 --> 00:09:14,860
him, son.
165
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:16,400
But they're my kin.
166
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:21,290
I can't do that. Do you want money for
college or not? Take them out!
167
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:48,650
I'm a countryman, dude. They bossed a
bluff.
168
00:09:51,070 --> 00:09:52,070
What bluff now?
169
00:09:53,590 --> 00:09:56,750
Well, you can't win them all. Right,
Sergeant?
170
00:09:57,930 --> 00:09:59,630
Now, where do I go to get my college
money?
171
00:10:00,530 --> 00:10:04,810
Pakistan. We ain't supposed to be over
there. We're not over there, but you
172
00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:05,810
be.
173
00:10:05,930 --> 00:10:07,150
Well, I quit.
174
00:10:07,630 --> 00:10:10,430
That's how my daddy do it when he don't
like what he's hearing. That ain't how
175
00:10:10,430 --> 00:10:11,470
the Army works, son.
176
00:10:11,750 --> 00:10:13,750
Now, go pack your gear. You ship out in
an hour.
177
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:26,330
Daddy, Daddy, how long I got to stay in
this wall of mud?
178
00:10:27,150 --> 00:10:28,550
How long you sign up for?
179
00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:31,670
Three years. Three years then.
180
00:10:32,230 --> 00:10:33,610
Shut up, mud.
181
00:10:40,850 --> 00:10:44,750
You stay in that wall now. I'm going to
go see if there's any meat left.
182
00:10:45,090 --> 00:10:46,710
Mountain folk will find a way.
183
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:50,090
We always going to find a way.
184
00:10:52,750 --> 00:10:59,070
We never back down and we don't give up
so long as the moonshine fills my cup.
185
00:10:59,270 --> 00:11:04,390
If the old farmer tries to take my gun,
we don't need a marathon to make a
186
00:11:04,390 --> 00:11:05,390
canyon run.
15960
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