All language subtitles for squidbillies_s06e09_return_of_gaga_pee_pap

My dreams are all dead and buried.

Sometimes I wish the sun would just
explode.

Inside the magic box is a token of all
that

we held and used to know.

My turn.

Hey, man, let me drive that thing. Come
on. Touch the tram.

He come up and got all the money out of
the register, and he give it back to me

and demanded I make change.

Hmm.

He wanted all the money in small
unmarked coins.

Man, he sat down and rolled them coin
rolls and said he wanted bills back for

it. He's laundering the money.

Go on, boy. Then he said, don't you call
the police, that he'd be watching me.

And he pulled out a folding chair and
sat down and started watching me.

I see. Well, two hours he was watching
me.

And this is you waking him up on the
tape here, right?

Yes, sir.

Then he asked me if he could stay here,
and I said no. This was the place of

business. So he gave up all the money
and left.

Hmm. Look here.

This is an M .O. we have seen before.

Are you saying? Yep.

We got us a wanted fugitive back in
town.

Hey, son.

What you doing here? I thought I told
you I don't never want to see you around

here no more.

I reckon we could talk.

You can talk all the hell you want, but
I ain't listening, hell no. If you ain't

listening, I'm not talking.

Well, I guess we gonna be standing here
for quite a while. What's that?

I didn't hear you. I ain't listening to
you now.

Oh, trying to flip it on me now, huh?

Fine. Come on in.

So I can show you ass to exit door. Now
get on out of here.

I guess I'll be on my way then. Well,
that sounds gooder than hell to me. Let

this cancer I have run through my veins
and take me out of your life for good.

Hell, I wish it could happen right now
so I could watch it. But unfortunately,

I'm a busy man.

So if you'll excuse me. Go on and watch
your stories and don't let me bother

you. Because I'm leaving.

Go on. Do what you said.

Because I'm busy as hell with my
television set. Well, all right then.

going to leave this gift by the studio.
Now, wait now. Don't be going so fast

for a second now.

What's that third gift you mentioning?

I always knew that you were having tooth
problems, so I got you some braces.

I just hope it ain't too late.

Hell, grave robbing again.

You ain't changed a whit. I have
changed, son.

I guess you just can't see it, because I
shot your eyes up so bad with your BB

gun when you was real young.

Don't be bringing up good memories to
try to get on with me.

I'm over it, what you've done. But you
see that frail old woman out there?

I said the three -quarters socket, not
the three -eighths.

She about broke her damn heart. Hell,
she can't re -lube no emotions.

Not like she can re -lube my chassis.

I'm ready. Get on over here. I'm coming,
I'm coming.

Oh, you.

You filthy rat.

You used me and left me to raise
children on my own. And then you run out

some floozy and that's all in the past.
I can change you.

Deal with the obvious physical
attraction right now and sort out all

at a later date more convenient to you.

Oh, God.

Touchdown.

You think they've done that?

Oh, God.

They ain't done at all. Hell no. They
far from done.

Now I'm done.

Now get off of me. I like how you're so
comfortable expressing your needs. I

didn't tell you to speak.

Make eggs over there.

Come on, Rusty. Let's talk a while.

All right, then.

Hell, he ain't here to heal no wounds.

He's here for that money he stole 30
years back.

They don't think I note it, but I note
it, and I said it, and I say it now, and

I think it, and I say it repeatedly,
otherwise it damn disappears.

He bangs like a loaded freight train an
hour late for the depot. Oh, God, that

sumbitch ain't nothing but a damn Trojan
horse a -snaking in here.

But inside all that horsewood is a wolf
in sheep's clothing.

Well, that ain't nothing but a Halloween
costume for a shark creature merged

with a gorilla.

The gorilla has, uh, that's how it
breathes on land.

Gorillas know sign language.

And it's got a thousand legs like a
millipede, all karate kicking your heart

two. Wait a minute.

Does that mean we're going to have
babies every part millipede?

Hell, there ain't no eggs left in your
hen house.

The snake of time doesn't seem to that.
Well, some people find me attractive.

Yeah, I guess there are a couple people
who like I'm a bald -ass purple dude.

Yeah. Something kind of strange about
it.

You know, Far?

Uh -huh.

It's hot.

Don't touch that shit, no matter how
shiny.

Okay. Ride on red don't mean you have to
go ride on red. I drove around in

circles for years before I figured that
out.

All right.

Getting girls pregnant feels good, but
it's also real easy.

Okay. They spray treasure everywhere in
the cemetery.

Eggs are full of cholesterol.

But some yellow things inside makes it
taste good.

That's on mail.

Law is a conspiracy by the American
Indians.

Okay. Now we're getting into my belief
system.

Rate me once, shame on you.

Rate me twice, I must have did something
to ask for it. That's what you believe?

Of course, that's prison talk.

Did I mention we was in prison?

We're not.

What? Why are you telling me all this,
Gaga?

I ain't gonna be around forever,
Russell.

When I go, I want you to bury me on this
hill, under this shade tree, with this

hang glider. That way, when zombie times
come, I'll be able to attack from

above. Oh, Gaga, you're gonna be around
for a long time.

You want your healthy stick?

Thank you.

Ain't never too early to think about
prevention.

This here is called mountain dancing. I
wasted my life doing this. I'll rest

easy knowing that you made the same
stupid choice as I do.

Okay. It's a simple step. Follow my
lead.

1 and a 2 and 3 and 4 and 5 and a 6 and
a 7 and 8 and

9 and a 10 and 11 and a 12. 45 and 46
and 47 and

48.

And 49.

Now you try.

Okay, so is it a one and a two? No, no,
that's not like it at all. To be a

dancing fool, you gotta be smart and a
meat up here. Where the opinions get

repeated from.

You put your hat there for the money.

Make sure you flip it over now. The open
part up.

That's a trade secret.

You say something about money? I knowed
it. I spent that money long ago, son.

Then you won't mind if I do. Go on, see
if I care.

Ain't no money down here.

Ain't no money down here neither.

Damn it to hell.

Ain't no money down here neither.

Hey, boy, speaking of digging, remember
that time I took you fishing that time?

Them ain't got nothing to do with each
other but yes.

I was but a young 'un. Give me all your
worms and nightcrawlers. Now, now, now.

They'll solve trouble, hook you right in
your belly button.

This is a bait raid.

Hey, hey, Daddy. You mean these? Are you
out of your mind?

I said no witnesses.

This has gotten all out of hand.

Take them hostage.

Yeah, you made me kill one worm every
hour.

Yeah, that was a long, confusing night.

Gaga, Gaga, you okay?

Gaga! Witchery!

Gumming up my lungs! Yes, the enemy's
got this thing!

Light it! Light it up!

Thar, that's better.

Gaga! Gaga!

Gaga! No!

You won't never thar from me when I was
young.

And you ain't cheering for me now.

Cause you dead.

The circle will be unbroken.

Bye and bye, Lord.

Bye and bye.

Elvira, oom -papa, oom -papa, oom -papa,
mao -mao.

They're the only two songs you used to
play, Gaga.

Now look at you, a fire in heaven,
playing them on a Gentile's harp.

That's the only way you'd allow that
kind of instrument in your band.

Yeah, he could be real picky about his
races.

I'm just glad I could hit it before life
quit it.

Come on, y 'all. He told me he wanted to
be buried with his hang glider. So he

can rain death down from above during
zombie times? Hell, not on my watch.

Early, I realize this is a delicate
time.

But this isn't going to be another one
of those dig and dash deals, is it?

they told me he spent the money a long
time ago.

And right now, I guess I believe him.

Is that a bag of money down there? You
say money? What money down there?

Look,

I got...

Hallelujah. Bring for us the money.

That must be why he picked this spot. He
wanted us to find it.

Dear Ernie, I told you I'd spend all the
money, but it was to buy these

collectible teeny weeny beeny wincies.

Nobity animals.

I got you again.

Gaga, Giga, Peep -Pop.

Whatever your dad.

A bunch of teeny weeny beeny wincies.

Get out of the hole, Gaga Peep -Pop.

You're under arrest.

Hey, Sheriff. Come on.

He's dead. Don't make me shoot you.
You're talking to a dead man, Sheriff.

Sheriff! I'll do it to your other knee
now. He's dead!

Oh, he's dead?

Oh, this is a funeral.

Uh, yeah.

Oh.

It's a tragedy any time you lose
somebody, ain't it?

Not every time.

I just washed down the river.

I stayed at foot for many years.

A garden is a table for all seasons.

Those seasons bring me joy.