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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:11,880 My dreams are all dead and buried. 2 00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:16,960 Sometimes I wish the sun would just explode. 3 00:00:18,780 --> 00:00:25,680 And when God comes and calls me to his kingdom, well, I'll take all you 4 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,300 sons of bitches when I go. 5 00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:29,339 My turn. 6 00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:31,520 Hey, hold on. Hey, man, let me grab that thing. Come on. 7 00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,150 the tram. 8 00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:42,770 There's that good -for -nothing son of a turd. Hey, there's the man of the hour. 9 00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:43,930 Let's play that right. 10 00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:45,650 Oh, let's see. Get busy. 11 00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,129 You gonna make it right? 12 00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,390 I think there's about a 20 % chance of showers. 13 00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:56,870 Go on. Damn, get some. Well, that's more of a drizzle. 14 00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:57,929 Let go. 15 00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,190 What happened to the money, Daddy? 16 00:01:00,170 --> 00:01:05,489 Well, first of all, The damn IRS bent me over and it was wham, bam, thank you, 17 00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:06,348 Uncle Sam. 18 00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:07,370 Hell, you know how it is. 19 00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:10,610 Oh, the IRS took everything but 42 cents? 20 00:01:11,310 --> 00:01:13,410 Uh, that's the way I remember it, yeah. 21 00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:18,330 Now, you just turn this son of a bitch into paper money. Are you here about to 22 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:19,330 lean on your property? 23 00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,510 Forget all that, except what the good Lord said. 24 00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:23,530 Read your damn Bible, son of a bitch. 25 00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:25,190 What's up, Pedro? 26 00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:27,570 You just turn this big boy into some jingle jangle. 27 00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:28,870 Si, 35. 28 00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,330 Yeah, blip -a -blingo, okay. 29 00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:33,420 Arriba. Let me get one fifth for the road. 30 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,800 Yeah! 31 00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:43,040 You know what? Let me get one more for the road. 32 00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:48,660 Woo! 33 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,700 Hey, you know what? I need one more for the road. 34 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,640 Yeah! 35 00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,600 That would be a lot. chaser for all this mess. 36 00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:14,000 Yeah, I told you. Winner, winner, chicken dinner. Let's go. Hey, hold on. 37 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:18,660 who wants to bet I can't do that a sixth straight time? I like that. We got some 38 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:19,660 takers. Hell, yeah. 39 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:29,040 You were paid 30 minutes ago. 40 00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,840 You left your cash in hand. 41 00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,080 Rich as crazy. 42 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,700 Well, my standard of living index is spiraling way the hell out of control. I 43 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,780 mean, you seen them damn numbers coming out of Washington? 44 00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,680 Let me explain to you what I am prepared to offer. 45 00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:44,920 Have a good one. 46 00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:47,740 Goddammit, I knew they wasn't going to give me that office. 47 00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:56,040 So best as I can tell, that damn gal in Accounting Dunn fouled up my paycheck 48 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,240 again. Oh, gal. 49 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,740 I thought you fired that bird -brained bitch months ago. 50 00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:04,280 Hell, I'd fire her so damn fast her head would spin if she was a real person. 51 00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:08,560 You don't seem very upset about it, Daddy. Look, sometimes you just got to 52 00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,560 the cards you're dealt. 53 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:11,840 Electronically. 54 00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:15,520 Hey, you think you can step to Egypt? 55 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,500 Well, hell yes, I do. I'm going to bring the page down. 56 00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:19,940 Round one. 57 00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,780 Clever old tablet deceiver. 58 00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:27,920 Uh -huh. Raise that bet. 59 00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:30,880 Sure about that, Early? You got that one pair? 60 00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,200 Nefahotep ain't got jack. 61 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,420 See the way that snake on his hat's a -wiggling? 62 00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:35,579 I call. 63 00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:36,580 Flip him, Hoss. 64 00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,160 Damn it. Hell, yeah. 65 00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,980 Power of twos, baby. Open that money tomb. 66 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,740 What do you know there, Early? You finally got some money from me 67 00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,520 Oh, I'll be getting that other monies. 68 00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,180 After. Come on now, Nefahotep. Bring on your boy. 69 00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:59,220 You never learn, do you? You got the power to prove 70 00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:06,060 it. Come on, come on, come on. Hell yeah, I win 71 00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:10,980 again. Maybe it's wrong, but it feels so right. 72 00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:15,780 The click of the button and the flash of the light. 73 00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:19,320 You next, baby. Come on. 74 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,360 My hot cinnamon toothpick done lost its flavor. 75 00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,620 Now my concentration's broke all to hell. No, no, no. You just calm down, 76 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:34,880 We'll get you a new toothpick. 77 00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:37,920 Damn it, that's a winter mint. It's fine to insult me. 78 00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:42,320 Well, well, Early. Who knew you was such a card shark? 79 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,520 Opinions is like buttholes, ain't they? 80 00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:49,300 Well, it just don't really kind of relate to what I just said, I don't 81 00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,920 does it? Well, you know what they say. 82 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,000 Opinions is very similar to buttholes. 83 00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,640 They don't say it as much as you do. 84 00:04:57,390 --> 00:05:00,890 Like very similar. Early, you've been at this for a few days now. 85 00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:04,930 Don't you think it's time for you to go back home and check in on your family? I 86 00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,010 am here around the clock providing for those people. 87 00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,370 Hell, I'm pumping this machine. 88 00:05:08,910 --> 00:05:12,170 Pit boss, get this high roller off of my machine. 89 00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:14,070 Yes, sir. I'll see what I can do. 90 00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:18,310 Excuse me, Early. I've got some terrible news for you. 91 00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:19,810 It's your mama. 92 00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,130 She's passed. 93 00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:24,690 Thank you for your concern. Just go on now. You're mushing me. Oh. 94 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,200 Then maybe it's your grandmama? Yep. She's with the maker now. Get the hell 95 00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,200 from me. 96 00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:35,380 The purple squid, the one that lived with you, she came to you? She never 97 00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:37,580 made it clear. Oh, hell, I got me a pyre going. 98 00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,300 Do what needs to be done. 99 00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,740 I'm doing what I'm doing. 100 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,360 Ah! 101 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,080 Oh! I had me a whole row of the old man with the crazy hat on cars. Damn it! 102 00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,490 So sorry about the technical difficulties with the machine. 103 00:05:57,750 --> 00:06:02,650 In the meantime, perhaps you'd like to take in a show? We set fire to hobos 104 00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:06,690 behind the store every day at 6 .30 and 11. Hell, shows is for old ladies and 105 00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:08,490 tourists. I am here for the competition. 106 00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,170 Very well, then. 107 00:06:10,390 --> 00:06:11,390 Pit boss. 108 00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,210 Cross his button finger! 109 00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:20,090 Anything worth doing takes time. You're doing it backwards. I can't wait around 110 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,069 for this mess. 111 00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:23,870 I got to get back down to my machine and break that nut cutter wide open. 112 00:06:25,190 --> 00:06:26,190 Well, what's this? 113 00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,970 You here to watch the master at work? 114 00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:31,990 Why don't you sit down and join us, Early? I want to talk to you a little 115 00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:33,350 I am sitting down. 116 00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:37,750 Early, these are all the people in your life that care about you. 117 00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:39,470 Also, Lil. 118 00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,170 Rusty, I'm going to let you start this off, son. 119 00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:50,330 Dear Daddy, you hadn't been home in a couple of days. I went to the bar. 120 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,780 The jail cell and all them places you frequent and stalk your ex -wife from. 121 00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:59,300 Woo! Woo -woo! But there weren't no sign of you. See what your sickness has done 122 00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:03,600 early. Well, son, I'm pretty happy to see his hair ain't passed out in the bed 123 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,500 somewhere. Hell yeah! I win again! 124 00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:10,020 Woo! Well, hell, that ain't as sick as if he's winning. Hey, hey, come on now. 125 00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:10,919 Back up, bitch. 126 00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,620 Daddy, check it out. He got you a straight flush. Come on, go on in. Mama 127 00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:15,620 a new hip. 128 00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,500 Oh, I got the pee -pee. 129 00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,880 Hold it now. You press this here bat button every time my light flashes. 130 00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:24,980 Make some boastful comments like, Who's your daddy in? I'm your daddy in. Sam's 131 00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:25,919 your daddy in. All out. 132 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,520 Now, clear pants to the privy now. Let's go. 133 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:28,780 Yeah! 134 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:33,900 Yahtzee! Well, you saw that I tried, Mr. Aylor. Well, it appears you didn't try 135 00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:34,900 hard enough. 136 00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,120 It's time to bring the hammer down! 137 00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,550 Well, I almost made it. I ain't prepping or nothing. 138 00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:43,250 Oh, look what they did to my hand, man. 139 00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:45,690 Oh, I'll bend your poker machine. 140 00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,870 It appears we had a little accident. 141 00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:52,730 Dammit, you broke my jackpot, didn't you, you damn purple fool? No. Sir, give 142 00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:53,730 that hammer over there. 143 00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:57,890 Early, you've got a choice to make. You can either have the hammer and the 144 00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:00,610 money, or you can just walk out. 145 00:08:01,070 --> 00:08:02,370 What's it gonna be, son? 146 00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,690 Oh, I got the hammer and the money. Yeah! 147 00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:09,860 Hang on, Earl, I think I did something wrong here. Hell yeah! 148 00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:16,640 One hand, here in my office right now. If I win, you agree never to play one of 149 00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,020 my vending machines again. 150 00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:19,760 And if I lose? 151 00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,340 Well, same thing. If I win, you lose. 152 00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:25,360 The same scenario would apply. 153 00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:26,900 Do you follow? 154 00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:31,280 I mean... I understand, if you say so. You know what? If I lose, I'll kill your 155 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,880 family as well. How's that sound? 156 00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:38,080 All right, then. I agree to your terms. And I'd like to add that you are a 157 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,960 terrible, terrible negotiator. What are 158 00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:47,680 they taking my boy? Your family 159 00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:52,760 is in a safe house. And if you ever want to see them alive again... As long as 160 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:53,760 they're safe. 161 00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:55,560 You're not even listening, are you? 162 00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,740 Hit. Hit. 163 00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,200 Hit. Hit. 164 00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:01,050 Hell, this button don't light up worth a damn. 165 00:09:01,690 --> 00:09:03,710 Don't press that. It's a $5 chip. 166 00:09:04,070 --> 00:09:09,330 This here's real poker. He will be physically handing you paper cards with 167 00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:13,170 coating, and then you make your choices based on the pictures they're in. 168 00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:17,210 Like them school cards in school that shows you how to spell and all? More 169 00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:18,210 fortune telling. 170 00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:22,170 I thought that was just a cookie thing. It is completely cookie unrelated. 171 00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:23,770 Let's just get on with it. 172 00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,010 Well, I got me a lot of chips here. 173 00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,950 I think I'll just go ahead and raise you. 174 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:32,420 Oh, you'll raise me, will you? In that case, I'd like to raise my bet just a 175 00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:33,420 little more. 176 00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,900 Then I'll raise that raise. 177 00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:38,260 And I'll raise the raised up raise what I just raised. 178 00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:40,100 I'll see you. 179 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,080 And I'll raise you again. 180 00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,300 All in. 181 00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:47,220 Sentimental value. 182 00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:51,720 That belongs to me. I don't see your name. Well, yeah, I do. Right there. 183 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,840 sorry. Look, let's just call it. All right, I call. Ha! You fool! I have a 184 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,460 house. Well, is that right? 185 00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,910 Well, I got me four of a kind. 186 00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,310 Booyah! Woo! 187 00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:02,710 Is that right? 188 00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:07,250 Well, I've got five of a kind. 189 00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,570 Oh, is that right? Yes, that's right. 190 00:10:10,850 --> 00:10:12,790 Is that right? Yes, that is right. 191 00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:17,600 Is it right? Yes, as I said, it is right. 192 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:23,560 Well, now, I got me a fox in a hen house, three ducks in a pond, four maids 193 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,060 -milking, a doc in a box, and a coldie for the road. 194 00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:30,520 No! Suck on that! Guys, I still got to deal the cards here, you know. 195 00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:33,940 Hell, this is child's play. 196 00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,960 Yeah, oh, yeah. 197 00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:40,380 I'm coming after you there, Blue Bear. 198 00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,580 Come on now. 199 00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:47,620 If I can just find the right... Hold to stick it in. A little to the right. 200 00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,520 Back. Oh, yeah. 201 00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,220 Hell, yeah. 202 00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:54,680 Damn it. 203 00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,020 All right. 204 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,400 This is the one. 16432

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