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1
00:00:08,179 --> 00:00:11,880
My dreams are all dead and buried.
2
00:00:13,700 --> 00:00:16,960
Sometimes I wish the sun would just
explode.
3
00:00:18,780 --> 00:00:25,680
And when God comes and calls me to his
kingdom, well, I'll take all you
4
00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:28,300
sons of bitches when I go.
5
00:00:28,720 --> 00:00:29,339
My turn.
6
00:00:29,340 --> 00:00:31,520
Hey, hold on. Hey, man, let me grab that
thing. Come on.
7
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,150
the tram.
8
00:00:37,750 --> 00:00:42,770
There's that good -for -nothing son of a
turd. Hey, there's the man of the hour.
9
00:00:42,930 --> 00:00:43,930
Let's play that right.
10
00:00:43,950 --> 00:00:45,650
Oh, let's see. Get busy.
11
00:00:46,130 --> 00:00:47,129
You gonna make it right?
12
00:00:47,130 --> 00:00:50,390
I think there's about a 20 % chance of
showers.
13
00:00:53,890 --> 00:00:56,870
Go on. Damn, get some. Well, that's more
of a drizzle.
14
00:00:57,130 --> 00:00:57,929
Let go.
15
00:00:57,930 --> 00:00:59,190
What happened to the money, Daddy?
16
00:01:00,170 --> 00:01:05,489
Well, first of all, The damn IRS bent me
over and it was wham, bam, thank you,
17
00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:06,348
Uncle Sam.
18
00:01:06,350 --> 00:01:07,370
Hell, you know how it is.
19
00:01:07,970 --> 00:01:10,610
Oh, the IRS took everything but 42
cents?
20
00:01:11,310 --> 00:01:13,410
Uh, that's the way I remember it, yeah.
21
00:01:14,330 --> 00:01:18,330
Now, you just turn this son of a bitch
into paper money. Are you here about to
22
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:19,330
lean on your property?
23
00:01:19,470 --> 00:01:21,510
Forget all that, except what the good
Lord said.
24
00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:23,530
Read your damn Bible, son of a bitch.
25
00:01:24,190 --> 00:01:25,190
What's up, Pedro?
26
00:01:25,250 --> 00:01:27,570
You just turn this big boy into some
jingle jangle.
27
00:01:27,850 --> 00:01:28,870
Si, 35.
28
00:01:29,250 --> 00:01:30,330
Yeah, blip -a -blingo, okay.
29
00:01:30,750 --> 00:01:33,420
Arriba. Let me get one fifth for the
road.
30
00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,800
Yeah!
31
00:01:40,620 --> 00:01:43,040
You know what? Let me get one more for
the road.
32
00:01:47,660 --> 00:01:48,660
Woo!
33
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,700
Hey, you know what? I need one more for
the road.
34
00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:58,640
Yeah!
35
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:01,600
That would be a lot. chaser for all this
mess.
36
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:14,000
Yeah, I told you. Winner, winner,
chicken dinner. Let's go. Hey, hold on.
37
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:18,660
who wants to bet I can't do that a sixth
straight time? I like that. We got some
38
00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:19,660
takers. Hell, yeah.
39
00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:29,040
You were paid 30 minutes ago.
40
00:02:29,400 --> 00:02:30,840
You left your cash in hand.
41
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:32,080
Rich as crazy.
42
00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:36,700
Well, my standard of living index is
spiraling way the hell out of control. I
43
00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:38,780
mean, you seen them damn numbers coming
out of Washington?
44
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,680
Let me explain to you what I am prepared
to offer.
45
00:02:43,620 --> 00:02:44,920
Have a good one.
46
00:02:45,620 --> 00:02:47,740
Goddammit, I knew they wasn't going to
give me that office.
47
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:56,040
So best as I can tell, that damn gal in
Accounting Dunn fouled up my paycheck
48
00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:57,240
again. Oh, gal.
49
00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,740
I thought you fired that bird -brained
bitch months ago.
50
00:03:00,980 --> 00:03:04,280
Hell, I'd fire her so damn fast her head
would spin if she was a real person.
51
00:03:04,700 --> 00:03:08,560
You don't seem very upset about it,
Daddy. Look, sometimes you just got to
52
00:03:08,560 --> 00:03:09,560
the cards you're dealt.
53
00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:11,840
Electronically.
54
00:03:12,380 --> 00:03:15,520
Hey, you think you can step to Egypt?
55
00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:18,500
Well, hell yes, I do. I'm going to bring
the page down.
56
00:03:18,940 --> 00:03:19,940
Round one.
57
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:21,780
Clever old tablet deceiver.
58
00:03:26,500 --> 00:03:27,920
Uh -huh. Raise that bet.
59
00:03:28,220 --> 00:03:30,880
Sure about that, Early? You got that one
pair?
60
00:03:31,120 --> 00:03:32,200
Nefahotep ain't got jack.
61
00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:34,420
See the way that snake on his hat's a
-wiggling?
62
00:03:34,620 --> 00:03:35,579
I call.
63
00:03:35,580 --> 00:03:36,580
Flip him, Hoss.
64
00:03:38,020 --> 00:03:39,160
Damn it. Hell, yeah.
65
00:03:39,460 --> 00:03:41,980
Power of twos, baby. Open that money
tomb.
66
00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,740
What do you know there, Early? You
finally got some money from me
67
00:03:47,020 --> 00:03:48,520
Oh, I'll be getting that other monies.
68
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:52,180
After. Come on now, Nefahotep. Bring on
your boy.
69
00:03:52,540 --> 00:03:59,220
You never learn, do you? You got the
power to prove
70
00:03:59,220 --> 00:04:06,060
it. Come on, come on, come on. Hell
yeah, I win
71
00:04:06,060 --> 00:04:10,980
again. Maybe it's wrong, but it feels so
right.
72
00:04:11,420 --> 00:04:15,780
The click of the button and the flash of
the light.
73
00:04:17,579 --> 00:04:19,320
You next, baby. Come on.
74
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:29,360
My hot cinnamon toothpick done lost its
flavor.
75
00:04:29,640 --> 00:04:33,620
Now my concentration's broke all to
hell. No, no, no. You just calm down,
76
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:34,880
We'll get you a new toothpick.
77
00:04:35,420 --> 00:04:37,920
Damn it, that's a winter mint. It's fine
to insult me.
78
00:04:39,020 --> 00:04:42,320
Well, well, Early. Who knew you was such
a card shark?
79
00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:44,520
Opinions is like buttholes, ain't they?
80
00:04:45,820 --> 00:04:49,300
Well, it just don't really kind of
relate to what I just said, I don't
81
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:50,920
does it? Well, you know what they say.
82
00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:54,000
Opinions is very similar to buttholes.
83
00:04:54,820 --> 00:04:56,640
They don't say it as much as you do.
84
00:04:57,390 --> 00:05:00,890
Like very similar. Early, you've been at
this for a few days now.
85
00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:04,930
Don't you think it's time for you to go
back home and check in on your family? I
86
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:07,010
am here around the clock providing for
those people.
87
00:05:07,250 --> 00:05:08,370
Hell, I'm pumping this machine.
88
00:05:08,910 --> 00:05:12,170
Pit boss, get this high roller off of my
machine.
89
00:05:12,570 --> 00:05:14,070
Yes, sir. I'll see what I can do.
90
00:05:15,830 --> 00:05:18,310
Excuse me, Early. I've got some terrible
news for you.
91
00:05:18,550 --> 00:05:19,810
It's your mama.
92
00:05:20,130 --> 00:05:21,130
She's passed.
93
00:05:21,730 --> 00:05:24,690
Thank you for your concern. Just go on
now. You're mushing me. Oh.
94
00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:29,200
Then maybe it's your grandmama? Yep.
She's with the maker now. Get the hell
95
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:30,200
from me.
96
00:05:31,360 --> 00:05:35,380
The purple squid, the one that lived
with you, she came to you? She never
97
00:05:35,380 --> 00:05:37,580
made it clear. Oh, hell, I got me a pyre
going.
98
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,300
Do what needs to be done.
99
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:41,740
I'm doing what I'm doing.
100
00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:48,360
Ah!
101
00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:53,080
Oh! I had me a whole row of the old man
with the crazy hat on cars. Damn it!
102
00:05:53,770 --> 00:05:57,490
So sorry about the technical
difficulties with the machine.
103
00:05:57,750 --> 00:06:02,650
In the meantime, perhaps you'd like to
take in a show? We set fire to hobos
104
00:06:02,650 --> 00:06:06,690
behind the store every day at 6 .30 and
11. Hell, shows is for old ladies and
105
00:06:06,690 --> 00:06:08,490
tourists. I am here for the competition.
106
00:06:09,150 --> 00:06:10,170
Very well, then.
107
00:06:10,390 --> 00:06:11,390
Pit boss.
108
00:06:11,730 --> 00:06:13,210
Cross his button finger!
109
00:06:15,750 --> 00:06:20,090
Anything worth doing takes time. You're
doing it backwards. I can't wait around
110
00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,069
for this mess.
111
00:06:21,070 --> 00:06:23,870
I got to get back down to my machine and
break that nut cutter wide open.
112
00:06:25,190 --> 00:06:26,190
Well, what's this?
113
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:27,970
You here to watch the master at work?
114
00:06:28,890 --> 00:06:31,990
Why don't you sit down and join us,
Early? I want to talk to you a little
115
00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:33,350
I am sitting down.
116
00:06:34,570 --> 00:06:37,750
Early, these are all the people in your
life that care about you.
117
00:06:38,470 --> 00:06:39,470
Also, Lil.
118
00:06:40,650 --> 00:06:43,170
Rusty, I'm going to let you start this
off, son.
119
00:06:44,810 --> 00:06:50,330
Dear Daddy, you hadn't been home in a
couple of days. I went to the bar.
120
00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:54,780
The jail cell and all them places you
frequent and stalk your ex -wife from.
121
00:06:54,920 --> 00:06:59,300
Woo! Woo -woo! But there weren't no sign
of you. See what your sickness has done
122
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:03,600
early. Well, son, I'm pretty happy to
see his hair ain't passed out in the bed
123
00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:05,500
somewhere. Hell yeah! I win again!
124
00:07:05,920 --> 00:07:10,020
Woo! Well, hell, that ain't as sick as
if he's winning. Hey, hey, come on now.
125
00:07:10,020 --> 00:07:10,919
Back up, bitch.
126
00:07:10,920 --> 00:07:14,620
Daddy, check it out. He got you a
straight flush. Come on, go on in. Mama
127
00:07:14,620 --> 00:07:15,620
a new hip.
128
00:07:16,100 --> 00:07:17,500
Oh, I got the pee -pee.
129
00:07:17,880 --> 00:07:20,880
Hold it now. You press this here bat
button every time my light flashes.
130
00:07:21,420 --> 00:07:24,980
Make some boastful comments like, Who's
your daddy in? I'm your daddy in. Sam's
131
00:07:24,980 --> 00:07:25,919
your daddy in. All out.
132
00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,520
Now, clear pants to the privy now. Let's
go.
133
00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:28,780
Yeah!
134
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:33,900
Yahtzee! Well, you saw that I tried, Mr.
Aylor. Well, it appears you didn't try
135
00:07:33,900 --> 00:07:34,900
hard enough.
136
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,120
It's time to bring the hammer down!
137
00:07:37,970 --> 00:07:40,550
Well, I almost made it. I ain't prepping
or nothing.
138
00:07:40,910 --> 00:07:43,250
Oh, look what they did to my hand, man.
139
00:07:43,570 --> 00:07:45,690
Oh, I'll bend your poker machine.
140
00:07:46,070 --> 00:07:47,870
It appears we had a little accident.
141
00:07:48,430 --> 00:07:52,730
Dammit, you broke my jackpot, didn't
you, you damn purple fool? No. Sir, give
142
00:07:52,730 --> 00:07:53,730
that hammer over there.
143
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:57,890
Early, you've got a choice to make. You
can either have the hammer and the
144
00:07:57,890 --> 00:08:00,610
money, or you can just walk out.
145
00:08:01,070 --> 00:08:02,370
What's it gonna be, son?
146
00:08:03,210 --> 00:08:05,690
Oh, I got the hammer and the money.
Yeah!
147
00:08:06,260 --> 00:08:09,860
Hang on, Earl, I think I did something
wrong here. Hell yeah!
148
00:08:11,100 --> 00:08:16,640
One hand, here in my office right now.
If I win, you agree never to play one of
149
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,020
my vending machines again.
150
00:08:18,740 --> 00:08:19,760
And if I lose?
151
00:08:20,620 --> 00:08:23,340
Well, same thing. If I win, you lose.
152
00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:25,360
The same scenario would apply.
153
00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:26,900
Do you follow?
154
00:08:27,100 --> 00:08:31,280
I mean... I understand, if you say so.
You know what? If I lose, I'll kill your
155
00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:32,880
family as well. How's that sound?
156
00:08:33,580 --> 00:08:38,080
All right, then. I agree to your terms.
And I'd like to add that you are a
157
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,960
terrible, terrible negotiator. What are
158
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:47,680
they taking my boy? Your family
159
00:08:47,680 --> 00:08:52,760
is in a safe house. And if you ever want
to see them alive again... As long as
160
00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:53,760
they're safe.
161
00:08:53,780 --> 00:08:55,560
You're not even listening, are you?
162
00:08:56,560 --> 00:08:57,740
Hit. Hit.
163
00:08:58,200 --> 00:08:59,200
Hit. Hit.
164
00:08:59,530 --> 00:09:01,050
Hell, this button don't light up worth a
damn.
165
00:09:01,690 --> 00:09:03,710
Don't press that. It's a $5 chip.
166
00:09:04,070 --> 00:09:09,330
This here's real poker. He will be
physically handing you paper cards with
167
00:09:09,330 --> 00:09:13,170
coating, and then you make your choices
based on the pictures they're in.
168
00:09:13,390 --> 00:09:17,210
Like them school cards in school that
shows you how to spell and all? More
169
00:09:17,210 --> 00:09:18,210
fortune telling.
170
00:09:18,830 --> 00:09:22,170
I thought that was just a cookie thing.
It is completely cookie unrelated.
171
00:09:22,590 --> 00:09:23,770
Let's just get on with it.
172
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,010
Well, I got me a lot of chips here.
173
00:09:26,330 --> 00:09:27,950
I think I'll just go ahead and raise
you.
174
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:32,420
Oh, you'll raise me, will you? In that
case, I'd like to raise my bet just a
175
00:09:32,420 --> 00:09:33,420
little more.
176
00:09:33,540 --> 00:09:34,900
Then I'll raise that raise.
177
00:09:35,220 --> 00:09:38,260
And I'll raise the raised up raise what
I just raised.
178
00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:40,100
I'll see you.
179
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,080
And I'll raise you again.
180
00:09:42,300 --> 00:09:43,300
All in.
181
00:09:46,220 --> 00:09:47,220
Sentimental value.
182
00:09:47,580 --> 00:09:51,720
That belongs to me. I don't see your
name. Well, yeah, I do. Right there.
183
00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,840
sorry. Look, let's just call it. All
right, I call. Ha! You fool! I have a
184
00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,460
house. Well, is that right?
185
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,910
Well, I got me four of a kind.
186
00:10:00,310 --> 00:10:01,310
Booyah! Woo!
187
00:10:01,710 --> 00:10:02,710
Is that right?
188
00:10:02,910 --> 00:10:07,250
Well, I've got five of a kind.
189
00:10:07,470 --> 00:10:09,570
Oh, is that right? Yes, that's right.
190
00:10:10,850 --> 00:10:12,790
Is that right? Yes, that is right.
191
00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:17,600
Is it right? Yes, as I said, it is
right.
192
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:23,560
Well, now, I got me a fox in a hen
house, three ducks in a pond, four maids
193
00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:26,060
-milking, a doc in a box, and a coldie
for the road.
194
00:10:26,260 --> 00:10:30,520
No! Suck on that! Guys, I still got to
deal the cards here, you know.
195
00:10:32,580 --> 00:10:33,940
Hell, this is child's play.
196
00:10:35,520 --> 00:10:36,960
Yeah, oh, yeah.
197
00:10:38,580 --> 00:10:40,380
I'm coming after you there, Blue Bear.
198
00:10:40,580 --> 00:10:41,580
Come on now.
199
00:10:42,220 --> 00:10:47,620
If I can just find the right... Hold to
stick it in. A little to the right.
200
00:10:48,380 --> 00:10:50,520
Back. Oh, yeah.
201
00:10:51,220 --> 00:10:52,220
Hell, yeah.
202
00:10:53,680 --> 00:10:54,680
Damn it.
203
00:10:55,020 --> 00:10:56,020
All right.
204
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,400
This is the one.
16432
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