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1
00:00:06,170 --> 00:00:10,550
She ran off and took our only chicken.
2
00:00:11,910 --> 00:00:15,710
When I broke jail, the house was burnt
and bad.
3
00:00:17,070 --> 00:00:21,110
The Japs, they moved the plant back to
Old Saucy.
4
00:00:22,590 --> 00:00:26,010
Some days life just doesn't seem that
bad.
5
00:00:26,690 --> 00:00:28,130
And I don't care.
6
00:00:28,590 --> 00:00:29,328
Hop there.
7
00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,550
Hey, man, let me grab that thing. Come
on.
8
00:00:32,150 --> 00:00:33,150
the tram.
9
00:00:34,250 --> 00:00:36,670
And now, back to Brock Will.
10
00:00:37,610 --> 00:00:42,370
Are you ready to Brock? That's right,
Brock Will here on Cool AM 1680 The
11
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,670
Let's chap some hides and whip some
opinions into shape.
12
00:00:45,090 --> 00:00:48,110
We got early in Dougal County. You're on
the heat seat. What's chapping your
13
00:00:48,110 --> 00:00:49,110
hide, friend?
14
00:00:50,550 --> 00:00:51,750
Uh. Yes, sir, Colin.
15
00:00:52,590 --> 00:00:53,950
Is it me on the radio now?
16
00:00:54,810 --> 00:00:57,150
Yes, you are, Colin. Go ahead. Am I the
ninth caller?
17
00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,180
I mean, do I get them Randy Travis
tickets?
18
00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,020
Sir, the Randy Travis ganza was two
weeks ago. Could you please just state
19
00:01:03,020 --> 00:01:08,060
business? Yeah, I want to say that the
problem with the economy is there ain't
20
00:01:08,060 --> 00:01:08,979
no damn jobs.
21
00:01:08,980 --> 00:01:13,260
I mean, I've been out of work since
Friday at 5 o 'clock, and I'm going back
22
00:01:13,260 --> 00:01:17,020
work Monday, but I ain't gonna like it.
Sir, that's called the weekend, and I
23
00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:19,400
know you're probably still balls deep in
the middle of it, but it's actually
24
00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:22,800
Tuesday for the rest of us. Look, I...
Can't collect my unemployment thanks to
25
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,580
big government bureaucrats who had tape
talk.
26
00:01:24,820 --> 00:01:27,620
Ain't one of them ever give me a
straight answer as to why I can't get no
27
00:01:27,620 --> 00:01:30,760
unemployment money check because I ain't
working on the weekend. I agree, sir.
28
00:01:30,840 --> 00:01:34,220
The government is out of control, but it
sounds like you are too, buddy. You can
29
00:01:34,220 --> 00:01:37,160
go ahead and pick those drawers off the
floor you just got opinion with.
30
00:01:37,920 --> 00:01:39,520
You've been opinion whipped.
31
00:01:39,960 --> 00:01:43,540
You got a big old mouth, son. You got
yourself a big old body to back up.
32
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:44,960
What in the damn...
33
00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,640
Yeah, another telephone tough guy. I'm
here every day, pal. Three to six. Chap
34
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:51,980
it hides on the fives. Rock, Bill. Hang
on, Hoss. We're on the edge.
35
00:01:53,120 --> 00:01:54,120
Okay,
36
00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,620
we're going to take a quick station
break.
37
00:01:56,160 --> 00:02:00,240
And when we come back, the ground zero
minus.
38
00:02:00,700 --> 00:02:02,440
No or hell no.
39
00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:04,640
You're listening to Cool A .O.
40
00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:09,139
1680. Dang it, Early.
41
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:12,920
Cool 1680. The heat is where I get all
my opinions.
42
00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:15,090
Now what am I supposed to think?
43
00:02:15,370 --> 00:02:18,110
Well, I guess you're going to have to
think for yourself. I mean, hell, that's
44
00:02:18,110 --> 00:02:19,170
how I got where I am today.
45
00:02:20,090 --> 00:02:23,810
Oh, now they're just filling time with
that extended Layla solo.
46
00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:26,350
Founder -like. Clowhand will get nothing
from me.
47
00:02:26,890 --> 00:02:30,510
Early, you have some strong and
unsupportable opinion.
48
00:02:30,950 --> 00:02:34,630
A wise hat once told me, rock out with
your jock out.
49
00:02:35,250 --> 00:02:36,250
Daytona 86.
50
00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:40,680
That's kind of become a mantra for me.
Well, I failed to see what that had to
51
00:02:40,680 --> 00:02:45,520
with anything. But I admire your
passion, and I think you have the fire
52
00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:46,520
the heat.
53
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:52,420
Live from our mountaintop bunker in
Dougal County on Cool 1680 The Heat. You
54
00:02:52,420 --> 00:02:57,660
can't spell freedom. You can't spell
liberty. You can't spell USA without the
55
00:02:57,660 --> 00:02:58,660
Big E.
56
00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:02,040
Thank you, thank you. We've got a lot to
get done today, so let's get started
57
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:02,638
with it.
58
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:07,020
The church should be taught in the
schools, and the schools should be part
59
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,020
the damn church.
60
00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:11,280
Now, you might say, Big E, hey, you quit
schooling in the second grade.
61
00:03:11,500 --> 00:03:15,960
That's right. I was 16, and I had a
family and a successful career,
62
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:20,060
and artificially inseminating bulls
before I was unjustly dismissed for
63
00:03:20,060 --> 00:03:22,400
heifer with a pot -bellied pig for my
own damn amusement.
64
00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,460
I done been discriminated upon by the PC
police.
65
00:03:25,780 --> 00:03:27,520
And we got Rusty in Dougal County.
66
00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:31,020
Rusty, what's flipping your lid, big
boy? Hey, Big E, I heard what you was
67
00:03:31,020 --> 00:03:32,140
saying and everything, but...
68
00:03:32,490 --> 00:03:36,470
the Constitution call for separation of
church and state? You hang on now, and
69
00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:38,410
I'll let you say what you want to say.
Now, you listen to me.
70
00:03:39,010 --> 00:03:41,170
One nation under God.
71
00:03:41,570 --> 00:03:42,610
What's that mean to you?
72
00:03:43,050 --> 00:03:44,990
Well, Big E, now, that's not the point I
was trying to make.
73
00:03:45,210 --> 00:03:47,030
Just hang on there, Bubba. Let me talk.
74
00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:51,750
To me, that means that Jesus is the
president and the commander -in -chief
75
00:03:51,750 --> 00:03:56,290
the armed forces and NATO and the
special ops and the 007s and all them
76
00:03:56,290 --> 00:03:58,530
00ers. Hell, he runs them all from
heaven.
77
00:03:59,050 --> 00:04:00,870
I'm pretty sure the Constitution...
78
00:04:02,250 --> 00:04:05,630
separate documents. Old Benjamin
Franklin did not die upon the cross so
79
00:04:05,630 --> 00:04:08,650
could spout that mess to me. Consider
your lead flipped, son.
80
00:04:08,910 --> 00:04:09,910
Wait a minute.
81
00:04:10,090 --> 00:04:12,330
Flushed. Granny in Dougal County.
82
00:04:12,570 --> 00:04:14,290
Well, what's flipping your lead, little
gal?
83
00:04:14,650 --> 00:04:16,230
Friends are taking my call.
84
00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:20,890
Is this in the numbers? Let's see the
people in the healthy bed in my house.
85
00:04:21,690 --> 00:04:24,630
Another damn lead flipper looking for a
handout.
86
00:04:24,850 --> 00:04:28,690
I'm locking you in the freedom box.
Locked in the freedom box.
87
00:04:29,050 --> 00:04:29,789
A cream.
88
00:04:29,790 --> 00:04:30,790
Mention the cream.
89
00:04:32,390 --> 00:04:35,230
Let me tell you something, friends. The
only thing I love more than God Almighty
90
00:04:35,230 --> 00:04:40,410
himself in America is Dan Halen's new
United We Tan, Divided We Ball, Hair
91
00:04:40,410 --> 00:04:42,250
Restoration, and Tanning Cream.
92
00:04:42,610 --> 00:04:47,810
Shampoo? It's a hot damn poo. I mean, I
got hair like a wild -ass beast, and I'm
93
00:04:47,810 --> 00:04:49,870
tanned like the hide of a leather
football.
94
00:04:50,130 --> 00:04:54,610
Just look at my long, luxurious mane.
But not right now, because the webcam's
95
00:04:54,610 --> 00:04:58,390
down. Coming up after the break, I got
me a message for the ACLU.
96
00:04:59,350 --> 00:05:00,350
ACLU in hell!
97
00:05:00,590 --> 00:05:05,430
Woo! Howly it is pimped. You're
listening to your new opinion courtesy
98
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:09,010
Biggie. Apparently that was great to
talk more about the cream.
99
00:05:09,370 --> 00:05:13,870
Utilize the cream in your beliefs.
Remember, the cream.
100
00:05:14,550 --> 00:05:19,910
The Biggie is back and shooting from the
hip. Where the brains are.
101
00:05:20,250 --> 00:05:22,190
What come up with the ideas?
102
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:27,030
Marriage is a divine institution between
one man and one woman. Where the man
103
00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:31,150
owns the woman unless the bitch runs
around on the man with an entire lance.
104
00:05:32,489 --> 00:05:36,110
Then the man should kill that cheating
ass whore. Use the cream.
105
00:05:36,410 --> 00:05:41,790
Well, what if the man's a half -pint
runt dick who can't keep up with me in
106
00:05:41,790 --> 00:05:42,790
sack?
107
00:05:43,390 --> 00:05:45,870
They should still be able to work it out
for the young 'un.
108
00:05:46,350 --> 00:05:47,550
Use the damn cream!
109
00:05:47,890 --> 00:05:50,010
Are you ready to get your lid flipped?
110
00:05:50,310 --> 00:05:55,430
It's the Big E. Every lie is sacred.
Except for that one son of a bitch we
111
00:05:55,430 --> 00:05:56,149
to abort.
112
00:05:56,150 --> 00:05:58,530
That freeloading sperm blossom ain't
worth a wheat penny.
113
00:05:58,790 --> 00:05:59,790
You listening, boy?
114
00:06:01,930 --> 00:06:04,250
I don't want no water spots. Use the
cream.
115
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:05,890
Get the cream in you.
116
00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:09,649
That's right.
117
00:06:09,650 --> 00:06:10,650
Death panels.
118
00:06:10,670 --> 00:06:14,350
Big government gonna decide whether you
live or die. Oh, no.
119
00:06:14,650 --> 00:06:15,710
You want that for your grandparents?
120
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,750
I might. Could make it easier on me.
121
00:06:19,010 --> 00:06:21,930
I mean, just cause you ain't all there
don't mean you can't operate a buff
122
00:06:21,930 --> 00:06:25,550
cloth. Now, let's put America back to
work. You hear me, old people? Bitch,
123
00:06:25,550 --> 00:06:30,350
the cream. Train your semi -automatic
crosshairs on the liberal bull mess.
124
00:06:31,310 --> 00:06:33,670
I'm the sheriff. I provide a service.
125
00:06:33,910 --> 00:06:37,950
You're taking my tax dollars and
redistributizing it to your pocket.
126
00:06:37,950 --> 00:06:42,970
Marxism there, Red. Well, you know, I
never thought about it quite that way.
127
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:44,370
That's right. I flipped your lid.
128
00:06:44,830 --> 00:06:46,750
Well, I'll be damned, Big E. You sure
did.
129
00:06:47,030 --> 00:06:50,870
Flipping the lids of the lid flippers.
I'm armed and dangerous with a truth
130
00:06:50,870 --> 00:06:53,850
bullet gun, and I fired truth in your
brain at close range.
131
00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:57,090
Pump your sawed -off shotgun with a Big
E.
132
00:06:58,990 --> 00:07:00,250
Oh, chill out, Luther.
133
00:07:00,670 --> 00:07:07,030
Just think, soon you'll be reunited up
in heaven with that girl you strangled.
134
00:07:07,370 --> 00:07:08,590
And what's next?
135
00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:13,270
People going to marry a paint can or a
orangutan or a person of the same sex
136
00:07:13,270 --> 00:07:16,630
just because they love it so damn much?
You're listening to Your New Opinion,
137
00:07:16,630 --> 00:07:17,630
courtesy of the Big E.
138
00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:20,890
Use the cream to cream.
139
00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,190
That's right, people. I am locked and
loaded with opinions.
140
00:07:24,490 --> 00:07:28,370
And I'm going to shoot Washington, D .C.
straight in the ear with my brain
141
00:07:28,370 --> 00:07:29,370
issues.
142
00:07:30,330 --> 00:07:35,210
Straight shooter. The Biggie. Shooting
the breeze and shooting the truth. I'll
143
00:07:35,210 --> 00:07:38,850
shoot the truth. Why you gonna take this
here gun away from me? Guns, guns,
144
00:07:38,870 --> 00:07:39,870
guns. Bang.
145
00:07:39,910 --> 00:07:42,790
Try to think again, but no skull meat.
He's a cowboy.
146
00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:49,130
Come on now, give it here.
147
00:07:49,470 --> 00:07:50,470
All of it, baby.
148
00:07:50,530 --> 00:07:51,530
In the bag.
149
00:07:51,570 --> 00:07:53,910
Woo! The Biggie in my store.
150
00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:56,570
With a hot gravy in the morning. That's
right.
151
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:58,890
Small business, man. It's all about you
guys.
152
00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:02,100
Now you get your ass. on the floor and
shut the hell up. I thought you'd have
153
00:08:02,100 --> 00:08:03,420
more hair using the cream.
154
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:07,940
Don't you look at me. Where the hell's
my book kiosk? How the hell do you
155
00:08:07,940 --> 00:08:10,720
to move units? You gotta get the standee
out here or I'll go in the foot
156
00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,980
traffic. I got a book signer with a meet
and greet here in 15 minutes.
157
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:18,460
Well, should we go on in and get them?
No, I think he said that'd be socialist
158
00:08:18,460 --> 00:08:22,980
and the truth is a gun that don't shoot
people in the truth bang.
159
00:08:23,500 --> 00:08:25,040
Something, something, shoot bang.
160
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,860
You know, he just puts it so well, and I
can't get close to what he says.
161
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:33,260
Hey, you look like you just got off the
beach and that.
162
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,179
Then give me some more. Now.
163
00:08:35,419 --> 00:08:36,359
Come on.
164
00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:37,360
All the way, baby.
165
00:08:37,500 --> 00:08:38,700
Which one you want?
166
00:08:39,059 --> 00:08:41,640
United we ten or divided we both?
167
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:44,920
Do them both, Denny. You know what Big E
says.
168
00:08:45,500 --> 00:08:47,160
Just use the cream.
169
00:08:48,920 --> 00:08:53,900
To Gwen's wife, finest piece of tail in
the region.
170
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:59,700
She's a big fan, so, uh, this X will
really mean a lot to her. I can neither
171
00:08:59,700 --> 00:09:00,840
read nor write. Next.
172
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,340
Begging with your ski mask.
173
00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:05,180
You here to shoot the truth with
original shoot truther?
174
00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,460
Daddy, Daddy, you're alive.
175
00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:16,180
Oh, what's he carrying on her about?
176
00:09:17,479 --> 00:09:20,160
Daddy says he needs to get back to his
right -wing radio program.
177
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:21,420
No, sorry, Early.
178
00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:26,120
You're no longer the right spokesman for
my patented two -cream system. Brock
179
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,540
Bell replaced you two weeks ago, right
after he shot you.
180
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:34,240
Brock Liberty Bell, glad to be back
chapping hides and whipping opinions.
181
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,140
at you better than ever. Well, this
leg's still got pins in it.
182
00:09:38,180 --> 00:09:40,560
Daddy says he's gonna take his show
underground.
183
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,540
He's gonna take you and Brock Bell on
all by himself.
184
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,600
Daddy, he's already gone. You really
want me to say that?
185
00:09:49,180 --> 00:09:50,800
Now get your ass on out of here.
186
00:09:58,040 --> 00:09:59,040
Amen,
187
00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:03,800
Biggie. The Mexicans are taking our
jobs.
188
00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:06,880
Oh, Granny, she's actually trying some
health care right now.
189
00:10:07,620 --> 00:10:09,620
That don't mean I don't still agree.
190
00:10:09,980 --> 00:10:11,860
You be telling that to Pine Cone he's
talking it to.
191
00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:16,100
Well, tell him. Magic commercial break.
192
00:10:17,020 --> 00:10:20,860
Hey, Big E, which cream goes where now?
193
00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:24,240
Crystal, hotter than a two -dollar
pistol.
194
00:10:25,580 --> 00:10:28,960
I'm fixing to stop loving you today.
195
00:10:31,340 --> 00:10:35,060
Crystal, girl, you hear that whistle?
196
00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:42,520
It's the sound of the wind blowing
through that bullet hole in your skull
197
00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:43,520
just made.
198
00:10:48,460 --> 00:10:53,320
I dream of dead and buried.
199
00:10:55,200 --> 00:11:00,480
Sometimes I wish the sun would just
explode.
200
00:11:02,180 --> 00:11:07,980
When God comes and calls me to his
kingdom,
201
00:11:08,020 --> 00:11:12,780
I'll take all you sons of bitches.
17549
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