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1
00:00:04,730 --> 00:00:09,230
Now get your yanky ass off my hotel.
2
00:00:10,370 --> 00:00:14,550
I don't care if the fire ain't got you
in the deep.
3
00:00:16,110 --> 00:00:19,150
This far's been tighter land for
generations.
4
00:00:20,750 --> 00:00:24,830
Well, since we did five of them sneaky
Japanese.
5
00:00:27,470 --> 00:00:30,030
In a while, I'll buy you a drink.
6
00:00:43,020 --> 00:00:44,480
Them shakes is bad today.
7
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,160
I must have tied me a hell of a one on
last night.
8
00:00:47,660 --> 00:00:49,780
No, Early, that ain't you. I can feel
it, too.
9
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,320
Maybe they're blasting down at the
quarry.
10
00:00:56,920 --> 00:00:57,920
Yeah,
11
00:01:01,740 --> 00:01:03,680
they're blasting down at the quarry.
12
00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:04,798
That's it.
13
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,580
It was Crystal, wasn't it? Huh? I seen
them big -ass pink britches going by.
14
00:01:08,820 --> 00:01:10,180
She's exercising, ain't she?
15
00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:14,160
Pipe down in there. I'm just trying to
eat my lunch. Peace here, please.
16
00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:17,260
What you got there? Meatloaf? With the
gibbets on the side?
17
00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:18,860
I like to dip it.
18
00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:21,220
A fat free gravy!
19
00:01:21,480 --> 00:01:24,500
He's trying to shed some LBs! Damn it,
what year is this?
20
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:28,320
And you carry this and add this in here
and subtract and put this in on here.
21
00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:30,180
Hell, it's 1614!
22
00:01:30,760 --> 00:01:31,880
No, it's 2011.
23
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:35,240
Denny! I know it! I know it! It's the
high school reunion year!
24
00:01:35,480 --> 00:01:37,820
Come on. So where's the event? I didn't
get my invite.
25
00:01:38,120 --> 00:01:39,460
Early in the night. Remember, you...
26
00:01:39,710 --> 00:01:42,930
Kind of dropped out in the second grade.
I ain't gonna have no damn cursing
27
00:01:42,930 --> 00:01:44,330
shoved down my throat by the government.
28
00:01:44,530 --> 00:01:45,590
It's a dead language.
29
00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:47,670
You let me out of here at school, Tim.
30
00:01:48,010 --> 00:01:49,970
I got to go put my smooth together.
31
00:01:50,390 --> 00:01:55,610
You told him? Well, he saw her. You know
she only gets off the mattress every
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00:01:55,610 --> 00:01:56,610
five years.
33
00:01:56,630 --> 00:01:59,250
Well, we'll have to move it to the VFW
then.
34
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:00,590
Well, it's there already.
35
00:02:01,070 --> 00:02:05,110
It's where we always have it. Then it's
the last place he'll look.
36
00:02:05,790 --> 00:02:07,860
Bye. God, that's genius.
37
00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:12,360
Yes, I've always been a bit of a genius
over you, haven't I, Sheriff?
38
00:02:13,180 --> 00:02:15,800
I spun your world into confusion.
39
00:02:17,100 --> 00:02:22,360
Well, I can see both sides of the issue.
Do we really have to argue? Why can't
40
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:25,040
we just shake hands and go our separate
ways?
41
00:02:25,860 --> 00:02:30,120
That's the extent of your support for
the SALT II treaty.
42
00:02:30,570 --> 00:02:33,250
As long as we all love Jesus, that's the
main thing.
43
00:02:33,670 --> 00:02:37,770
He'll tell us all the answers when we
get to heaven and find out who our dad
44
00:02:38,090 --> 00:02:39,730
What's that on your shirt?
45
00:02:39,970 --> 00:02:40,970
Where? Look at that!
46
00:02:42,050 --> 00:02:43,050
Debate that!
47
00:02:44,630 --> 00:02:48,430
Well, I may not have been all that damn
great in debate, but I did pretty well
48
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:49,530
in attendance that year.
49
00:02:49,950 --> 00:02:51,570
Yep, I was there.
50
00:02:52,090 --> 00:02:57,290
Tell me, will we be bringing a romantic
date this year, or are we sticking with
51
00:02:57,290 --> 00:02:58,510
Mom? Now, now.
52
00:02:59,050 --> 00:03:02,750
The bachelor never kisses Adele. Or
never kisses at all. Listen, you'll have
53
00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:07,090
little downtime to mingle, but I want
you in that parking lot checking IDs and
54
00:03:07,090 --> 00:03:08,770
picking up your own cigarette butts.
55
00:03:09,370 --> 00:03:10,550
Well, okay.
56
00:03:12,110 --> 00:03:15,730
Can't wait for the reunion to catch up
with you. Yeah, let's save it for
57
00:03:15,730 --> 00:03:17,710
Saturday. Yeah, well... Buddy. Okay.
58
00:03:18,790 --> 00:03:19,850
I'll just be outside.
59
00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:22,870
The register's up there.
60
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:24,270
Make it just...
61
00:03:24,840 --> 00:03:28,440
Here's some money. You give me a towel,
a locker, and you calculate my resting
62
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:32,540
metabolic rate and my body mass index. I
need to get cut like them old boys in
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00:03:32,540 --> 00:03:33,540
300.
64
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:37,040
About to get sideways tomorrow night.
65
00:03:37,960 --> 00:03:39,360
Gonna come undone.
66
00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:46,740
I got my books, Mr. Halen.
67
00:03:46,940 --> 00:03:52,620
You want to slap them out of my hand
now, or you... Excuse me, you seem to
68
00:03:52,620 --> 00:03:53,860
something on your shirt there. Where?
69
00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:57,440
He got you.
70
00:03:58,200 --> 00:03:59,420
That was good.
71
00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:03,080
Dumbass. I'll clean this shirt.
72
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,320
Damn it. I'm never fast enough.
73
00:04:07,520 --> 00:04:08,520
I'm never fast enough.
74
00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:15,880
Betty, bye, my little bitch.
75
00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:23,500
You know, there's a lot of loose
whispering about my being a bachelor.
76
00:04:24,110 --> 00:04:26,390
But I just like doing my own thing, you
know.
77
00:04:26,870 --> 00:04:31,850
Glenn's wife said she's going to Glenn.
And my mom keeps using that old no ramp
78
00:04:31,850 --> 00:04:32,950
access excuse.
79
00:04:33,430 --> 00:04:37,130
So I thought maybe you and I could go
out and have a good time.
80
00:04:37,590 --> 00:04:38,590
What do you say, Lil?
81
00:04:41,230 --> 00:04:42,890
I like to do things.
82
00:04:44,910 --> 00:04:47,090
Oh, hell. All right. Fine.
83
00:04:47,550 --> 00:04:49,150
Do they serve an early meal?
84
00:04:49,350 --> 00:04:52,210
Because I get gas. That's if I have food
that ain't rice.
85
00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:53,810
Or if I eat too late.
86
00:04:54,230 --> 00:04:55,970
Or if I have too much rice.
87
00:04:57,710 --> 00:04:58,850
The game is on.
88
00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:00,330
Hell yeah.
89
00:05:01,650 --> 00:05:03,730
Hey, where do you think you're going
with that hair?
90
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,930
Wouldn't you like class reunion?
91
00:05:07,550 --> 00:05:10,030
Yeah, that's down there at the old VFW,
right?
92
00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:13,950
Uh -huh. Hell, I knowed it. I thought
that you thought that if you moved it,
93
00:05:14,030 --> 00:05:17,310
then I wouldn't know it. But I knowed
it, and I done said it. I said it is
94
00:05:17,310 --> 00:05:18,310
right.
95
00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:23,300
No, hell no! It ain't at the BFW. You're
trying to mind -mess me. That's just
96
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:25,740
what they want me to think, I think. And
you better believe I do.
97
00:05:26,580 --> 00:05:27,800
Wait! Where you going?
98
00:05:32,180 --> 00:05:33,800
You seem so tense.
99
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:40,860
I get a really good SPSM. Oh, no, no,
no. I hate to complicate our
100
00:05:40,860 --> 00:05:43,020
with a meaningless romp, you know.
101
00:05:43,620 --> 00:05:48,850
Well... I wasn't thinking of romping so
much as maybe a quick rim job.
102
00:05:49,070 --> 00:05:50,270
Oh, Bill, we've got to tell you.
103
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:52,830
Buckle in. We're about to take a ride.
104
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:57,690
Go on and pass.
105
00:05:57,870 --> 00:05:59,030
You're good to go, friend.
106
00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:00,290
Y 'all come on around.
107
00:06:00,950 --> 00:06:04,350
I ain't going nowhere special. Now you
go on out to your class reunion.
108
00:06:04,570 --> 00:06:05,329
Hell, I'm good.
109
00:06:05,330 --> 00:06:07,410
Don't make me do this early. Do what?
110
00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:09,590
All right, son.
111
00:06:09,890 --> 00:06:11,050
Where you hit it tonight?
112
00:06:11,610 --> 00:06:13,170
Where are you headed? You're the police.
113
00:06:13,410 --> 00:06:14,670
Hell, you're supposed to tell me.
114
00:06:15,230 --> 00:06:19,590
BFW. Damn it. Every time. Well, I reckon
you ought to hold me in, then. For
115
00:06:19,590 --> 00:06:20,590
what?
116
00:06:21,030 --> 00:06:24,570
You know, I'm going to let you go with
the warning this time.
117
00:06:26,430 --> 00:06:28,850
I'm going to let you go with the
warning.
118
00:06:29,310 --> 00:06:34,710
All right, fine.
119
00:06:35,250 --> 00:06:36,229
Come on.
120
00:06:36,230 --> 00:06:37,230
Back of the car.
121
00:06:39,450 --> 00:06:40,650
You look tense, Sheriff.
122
00:06:41,420 --> 00:06:43,420
Give this old boy a FBSM.
123
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:45,480
Listen,
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00:06:45,800 --> 00:06:49,060
Early, I'm going to be in a world of
hurt if you make any trouble for me
125
00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:49,819
You understand?
126
00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:52,440
Oh, I ain't going to make no waves. Come
on, I got your back.
127
00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,760
I mean, you act like I ain't got no... 3
o 'clock 86!
128
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,580
Woo! Let's do this!
129
00:06:57,880 --> 00:07:01,760
This is a hoppy hunt! Come on now! You
down with the OPC? What is he doing
130
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:04,540
Well, I brought him in for questioning.
131
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,600
He's in verbal custody. Step away from
the steam tables and get back in the
132
00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:12,360
lock! But you said I could mingle. This
isn't a debate, because if it were, you
133
00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:16,360
just lost to the two -time district
regional runner -up, or don't you
134
00:07:17,220 --> 00:07:18,220
Hit the asphalt!
135
00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:24,220
Oh, you see that fine -ass bitch over
there? Mm -hmm. Now that I'm myself,
136
00:07:24,320 --> 00:07:27,280
I'm gonna ignore that bitch. Right
straight into her sumbitchin' face.
137
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,160
What do you want?
138
00:07:29,540 --> 00:07:34,940
Excuse me, do I recognize you? No, I
ain't. You know damn well who I am.
139
00:07:35,320 --> 00:07:36,320
Oh, that's right.
140
00:07:36,620 --> 00:07:40,360
You're the bitch what stole my heart and
stomped it into pieces when you run
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00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:41,360
around on me.
142
00:07:41,940 --> 00:07:42,940
Early?
143
00:07:43,360 --> 00:07:44,360
That's me.
144
00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:46,700
You ain't changed a bit.
145
00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:52,220
You still zone, tiny -ass runt. Can't
even break out of a full nelson.
146
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:58,300
You see this here knife, little guy?
147
00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:00,800
The blade is honzo steel.
148
00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,460
Handle of ivory from the ankler of a 28
-point super buck.
149
00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:09,840
That is a fine -ass knife.
150
00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:14,880
Well, you own that outright, huh?
151
00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:18,000
Just three more payments and she's all
mine.
152
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,600
Equity. I'm building something here.
153
00:08:22,380 --> 00:08:23,380
Hush now.
154
00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:27,400
Only thing I want out of that mouth is
your tongue.
155
00:08:28,860 --> 00:08:34,880
No, thank you.
156
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,080
It's clean.
157
00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:38,740
Nothing on my shirt.
158
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000
I'm fine.
159
00:08:41,230 --> 00:08:45,150
Well, I thought I was on a date with the
man whose nuts had dropped.
160
00:08:45,590 --> 00:08:47,510
I guess I thought you were, too.
161
00:08:47,910 --> 00:08:49,210
Just give me your drink tickets.
162
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:53,110
I'm going to have to get somebody tore
up if I'm going to get any action
163
00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:54,110
tonight.
164
00:08:55,370 --> 00:09:00,290
So I drained it, bought all the
lakefront property back for a fraction
165
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:04,050
price, then refilled it with pure
grapefruit vodka.
166
00:09:04,730 --> 00:09:06,610
I crushed that deal.
167
00:09:08,170 --> 00:09:09,170
Crushed.
168
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:13,100
I suppose I'm supposed to ask you
something now?
169
00:09:13,420 --> 00:09:16,200
I suppose, what are you up to?
170
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:18,180
I work for you, my son.
171
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:19,520
Oh, that's right, yes.
172
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:21,640
You're the one with the kids, right?
173
00:09:21,920 --> 00:09:22,879
Well, no.
174
00:09:22,880 --> 00:09:23,779
No? Gay?
175
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:24,780
What was it?
176
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:26,980
Yeah, they died in the fire.
177
00:09:27,340 --> 00:09:31,960
Oh, right, the dead one, yes. Yep, yep.
I saw that on Facebook.
178
00:09:32,380 --> 00:09:33,500
Yeah, pretty much to our support.
179
00:09:35,060 --> 00:09:38,540
Well, I need to get some roast beef on
tiny bread. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
180
00:09:38,620 --> 00:09:39,640
I know. Away from...
181
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:42,940
You. What is it now?
182
00:09:43,400 --> 00:09:46,280
Looks like you've got something on your
shirt.
183
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:48,260
You moronic imbecile.
184
00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:49,560
I don't believe you.
185
00:09:50,280 --> 00:09:51,740
That's for bullying me.
186
00:09:53,220 --> 00:09:56,600
Bullying. The media is all over it these
days.
187
00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,000
But is it their business?
188
00:09:58,360 --> 00:09:59,219
Hell no.
189
00:09:59,220 --> 00:10:04,160
Why must everybody prejudice against the
bully? Just because he likes to
190
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,780
separate you from the nerd herd and give
you a sound -ass whooping.
191
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:10,000
Stop bullying in its tracks.
192
00:10:10,360 --> 00:10:15,720
Visit DontBeALowHangingFruit .biz and
find out how you can stop being such a
193
00:10:15,720 --> 00:10:16,820
fat, juicy target.
194
00:10:17,180 --> 00:10:23,120
Tips like lose weight, get rid of them
zits, don't be such a pussy pussy, you a
195
00:10:23,120 --> 00:10:26,400
damn pussy, and give me that jacket
cause it's mine now.
196
00:10:27,080 --> 00:10:28,320
I'm Early Collar.
197
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:31,750
And I feel like this here was a message
they wanted me to convey.
198
00:10:32,070 --> 00:10:33,510
It ain't?
199
00:10:34,390 --> 00:10:37,890
I'll say what the hell I want to say,
you son of a bitch and pencil neck
200
00:10:37,890 --> 00:10:38,890
motherfucker.
201
00:10:44,650 --> 00:10:50,690
When you go deep enough, like a second
sight,
202
00:10:51,110 --> 00:10:57,870
I left the faucet on to get in a
203
00:10:57,870 --> 00:10:58,870
fight.
204
00:11:00,330 --> 00:11:01,330
Big Matt!
15951
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