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1
00:00:04,940 --> 00:00:08,780
My dreams are all dead and buried.
2
00:00:10,460 --> 00:00:14,200
Sometimes I wish the sun would just
explode.
3
00:00:15,620 --> 00:00:22,420
When God comes and calls me to his
kingdom, I'll take all your
4
00:00:22,420 --> 00:00:24,800
sons to the vicar's when I go.
5
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,300
My turn.
6
00:00:29,560 --> 00:00:32,560
Hell no. Hey, man, let me drive that
thing. Come on. Touch the trim.
7
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:36,520
Hey, Early.
8
00:00:36,540 --> 00:00:39,040
What in the world do you have on your
head?
9
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,179
My new lid.
10
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:45,020
National Asbestos Associations are
giving them out. I'm dead asbestos. I
11
00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:47,620
This here hat was once the drop ceiling
of a daycare.
12
00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,180
They going green now. This is poorly
translated from Chinese.
13
00:00:51,640 --> 00:00:55,420
Damn it, Early. You always got to look
for the made in the USA label.
14
00:00:56,620 --> 00:00:57,620
Oh, my Lord.
15
00:00:57,880 --> 00:00:58,880
What?
16
00:00:59,290 --> 00:01:02,990
You ain't supposed to be wearing that
hat no more. Yeah, they sent us this hat
17
00:01:02,990 --> 00:01:05,150
with regards to your hat.
18
00:01:05,690 --> 00:01:07,970
Ooh, this is a nice hat.
19
00:01:08,310 --> 00:01:09,870
Government needs to stay out of my life.
20
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:11,810
Freedom ain't free no more.
21
00:01:12,570 --> 00:01:14,810
Early, we got to get you to the doctor.
No.
22
00:01:15,430 --> 00:01:18,790
Fetch me my Cock Johnson championship
headache powders.
23
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:20,830
I'll be fine.
24
00:01:25,410 --> 00:01:27,590
Daddy? Oh, dear God.
25
00:01:29,109 --> 00:01:31,250
Well, the x -rays are in.
26
00:01:31,670 --> 00:01:33,010
You better have a look at this.
27
00:01:34,910 --> 00:01:37,150
What am I looking at exactly?
28
00:01:37,810 --> 00:01:40,490
What do you think it is?
29
00:01:41,410 --> 00:01:45,610
Is that your semi -erect penis there?
Could be. Could be.
30
00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:49,310
I better put this up.
31
00:01:49,570 --> 00:01:50,570
Save my battery.
32
00:01:50,930 --> 00:01:54,790
Aren't you going to give some sort of
diagnosis or something?
33
00:01:55,090 --> 00:01:56,009
For him?
34
00:01:56,010 --> 00:01:57,010
No, no, he's toast.
35
00:01:57,660 --> 00:01:58,660
Put a fork in that.
36
00:01:58,880 --> 00:01:59,880
What are you saying?
37
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:01,300
Put a fork in that, I said.
38
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,260
Who said that? Is he going to die?
39
00:02:04,820 --> 00:02:08,039
Probably. Unless he's like some sort of
god or something.
40
00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:11,380
He's not from ancient Greece, is he?
41
00:02:11,700 --> 00:02:12,700
No.
42
00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:14,200
Let me show you this image.
43
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,080
Poor doe.
44
00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:20,640
Big time.
45
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:24,860
You know, that guy don't know what the
hell he's talking about.
46
00:02:25,500 --> 00:02:29,840
We'll... Do a search on the web. Hell,
we'll go down to Atlanta where the real
47
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,380
doctors are. Well, I ain't got no
insurance for that mess.
48
00:02:32,760 --> 00:02:36,400
Then we'll go to a chiropractor and
we'll get a non -medical opinion.
49
00:02:36,800 --> 00:02:39,860
But if you're going to get better,
you're going to have to take that hat
50
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:40,860
now.
51
00:02:41,780 --> 00:02:44,260
There we go.
52
00:02:46,700 --> 00:02:51,660
What the... Where'd you get that? I
can't control my cravings. I'm down to a
53
00:02:51,660 --> 00:02:52,359
pack a day.
54
00:02:52,360 --> 00:02:53,360
Damn it, Early.
55
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:58,680
Can't you see these hats are killing
you? I know it ain't good for me, but I
56
00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,380
just ain't got the strength to quit.
57
00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:03,840
I'm sorry, buddy.
58
00:03:04,080 --> 00:03:05,080
It's okay.
59
00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:09,060
You want to do some big old donuts in my
car here?
60
00:03:09,780 --> 00:03:12,500
Yeah. You best get the hell out.
61
00:03:22,860 --> 00:03:24,560
So what did the doctor say about my
daddy?
62
00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,880
Uh, well, he's, uh, A -OK.
63
00:03:28,080 --> 00:03:29,340
He's gonna be fine.
64
00:03:29,980 --> 00:03:30,980
Fine as wine.
65
00:03:31,540 --> 00:03:32,580
Like a friendship.
66
00:03:32,920 --> 00:03:35,580
Uh, say, we're sweetly over time.
67
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:40,020
Hey, Hoss, you got you another car?
68
00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:44,700
Uh, yeah. I think I could radio for
another one. What's this?
69
00:03:44,980 --> 00:03:46,020
You crying, pussy?
70
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:48,140
You've just been such a good friend.
71
00:03:48,860 --> 00:03:52,540
I can't bear to see you go like this.
Hey, y 'all, looky here.
72
00:03:52,780 --> 00:03:53,780
This pussy's a crime.
73
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:57,280
Daddy, you ain't looking so good.
74
00:03:57,720 --> 00:03:58,820
Maybe you better lie down.
75
00:03:59,060 --> 00:04:02,860
Looks like I might come out ahead in the
dead pool after all. Bitch, I'm fine.
76
00:04:03,580 --> 00:04:04,740
It's just a headache.
77
00:04:08,860 --> 00:04:11,460
He ain't gonna be fine at all, is he,
Sheriff?
78
00:04:11,820 --> 00:04:14,020
No, he ain't got long, Rusty.
79
00:04:14,300 --> 00:04:15,800
Let's just give him what he needs.
80
00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:18,640
Make sure he's comfortable in his final
days.
81
00:04:20,560 --> 00:04:21,560
Give it to me.
82
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,700
All of it, you son of a bitch.
83
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:25,800
I'm going to have me a little nap here.
84
00:04:26,260 --> 00:04:30,180
When I wake up, I expect this here sack
to be full of monies.
85
00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:32,880
Cashy monies.
86
00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:37,040
You heard him, Boyd. Just hand it to me.
87
00:04:37,300 --> 00:04:38,360
I'll fill the sack.
88
00:04:39,100 --> 00:04:43,100
I was going to throw these taquitos out,
but if it'll make them feel like he got
89
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:44,900
one over, I'll make them. Thanks, Boyd.
90
00:04:45,290 --> 00:04:47,670
You were always there for Early when he
needed to rob you.
91
00:04:49,850 --> 00:04:51,670
I don't know what to say, Glenn.
92
00:04:52,030 --> 00:04:53,670
Put yourself in his shoes.
93
00:04:53,970 --> 00:04:56,550
I mean, it's what he wanted. But it's my
wife.
94
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,950
And I really don't want this. Please, y
'all.
95
00:04:59,290 --> 00:05:00,229
Don't fight.
96
00:05:00,230 --> 00:05:03,430
I can't stand to see it. Come on,
Glenn's wife.
97
00:05:04,450 --> 00:05:06,870
Wrap your fine -ass mouth around my
toes.
98
00:05:07,410 --> 00:05:09,250
I could go at any minute.
99
00:05:10,090 --> 00:05:13,510
Well, we'll never have to see him again.
100
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:15,360
There you go, baby.
101
00:05:15,840 --> 00:05:22,840
Early this year is the man from the Make
a Miracle Network.
102
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,080
He arranged his whole deal today.
103
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:28,780
Well, hey there, big guy. How are you?
Oh, no, no, no, sir. It's for my daddy.
104
00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:30,640
Oh, your daddy.
105
00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:36,940
Okay. That's right. You told me he was
seven. Oh, well, he got that gland
106
00:05:36,940 --> 00:05:38,840
disease that makes you look old.
107
00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:43,020
Yeah, but this one here just called him
daddy. No, he didn't. Fire it up, boys.
108
00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:48,560
I'm proud to be a confederate where we
still have slavery.
109
00:05:49,660 --> 00:05:56,580
And it's sad them Yankees had to die.
They shouldn't have met with Jamboree.
110
00:05:56,580 --> 00:06:02,140
I will stand up and salute these state's
proud members of the SEC.
111
00:06:08,300 --> 00:06:12,700
Daddy's butt drunk and mama's on the
griddle. Cooking up crystal meth ready
112
00:06:12,700 --> 00:06:15,480
little. Gonna tear your ass straight up
the middle.
113
00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:21,100
God bless the Confederacy.
114
00:06:23,840 --> 00:06:24,840
There you go.
115
00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:29,180
All the histories and schoolbooking
you'll ever need to know about is right
116
00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:33,100
there in laser light. Well, Early, I'm
just glad you could see it your way
117
00:06:33,100 --> 00:06:34,100
before you died.
118
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:36,720
Yeah. What else you got?
119
00:06:41,490 --> 00:06:45,590
Look, Hurley, it's Grammy award -winning
artist T -Pain. Hell, I know T -Pain.
120
00:06:46,090 --> 00:06:47,130
There you go, hoss.
121
00:06:47,390 --> 00:06:50,230
Um, what is this? I thought it was a
wrap.
122
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,170
I like driving my truck.
123
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:57,190
Auburn sucks. Yeah, you twiddle the
knobs and let me know when it drops. I
124
00:06:57,190 --> 00:07:00,930
thought this was kind of like just a
photo with the chain. You a damn drank.
125
00:07:01,130 --> 00:07:02,450
Hey, that's my wife, man.
126
00:07:02,910 --> 00:07:04,210
Ew, what else you got?
127
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:09,630
Okay, big guy. This is Kevin Gillespie.
Hey there, buddy.
128
00:07:09,870 --> 00:07:13,970
He was the fan favorite on Top Chef last
season. Top Chef on Bravo?
129
00:07:14,290 --> 00:07:15,290
You watch Bravo?
130
00:07:15,310 --> 00:07:16,310
Yeah? No?
131
00:07:17,230 --> 00:07:19,810
Are you ready for a new twist on a
southern classic?
132
00:07:20,070 --> 00:07:24,010
Well, how about skillet fried chicken
with pickled watermelon and... Please,
133
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:25,010
please don't!
134
00:07:25,110 --> 00:07:26,110
Wait, hey, Julie.
135
00:07:26,570 --> 00:07:30,910
You know, I don't want to offend you. I
know you have this disease and all, but
136
00:07:30,910 --> 00:07:32,890
I don't think you're really seven...
137
00:07:37,550 --> 00:07:39,470
This has all made me very tired.
138
00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:43,730
Early? Oh, God, no!
139
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:56,770
Yep, this'll do. I like it. Early, why
not just something simple and elegant
140
00:07:56,770 --> 00:08:01,030
like this pine box here? Since I'm...
Kind of footing the bill on this whole
141
00:08:01,030 --> 00:08:02,810
thing. You want me to go out with a damn
bang, don't you?
142
00:08:03,050 --> 00:08:07,050
Well, of course I... It's a coffin,
that's a bass guitar, and a bourbon
143
00:08:07,210 --> 00:08:10,370
It's genius. No, I know. It's my final
wishes.
144
00:08:12,330 --> 00:08:13,770
Don't you want me to be happy?
145
00:08:21,150 --> 00:08:24,710
Okay, we'll take the Michael Anthony.
146
00:08:24,910 --> 00:08:25,910
Yeah!
147
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:30,320
We call this year, Curb, the collar
killer.
148
00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:35,400
All my wildest kin met their maker here
and punched his ass in the face.
149
00:08:35,659 --> 00:08:38,020
This here was my great -uncle, Curlow.
150
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,059
His gal, Earl Otter.
151
00:08:44,820 --> 00:08:45,820
Dickie Jack.
152
00:08:45,940 --> 00:08:48,320
His memorial was a damn bloodbath.
153
00:08:50,540 --> 00:08:53,420
Oh, yeah, I was doing the escort on that
one.
154
00:08:53,940 --> 00:08:55,300
All right, y 'all come on around.
155
00:08:55,680 --> 00:08:56,680
You're good to go.
156
00:08:59,380 --> 00:09:03,160
Why are we here, Early? You know you
can't be buried on the shoulders of the
157
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:04,580
road. I ain't here to pick a plot.
158
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:06,340
I'm here to end it.
159
00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:07,820
The collar way.
160
00:09:08,500 --> 00:09:10,340
Boom! Oh, come on, Early.
161
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:15,220
With today's headache powder, science
and all, you could recover.
162
00:09:15,440 --> 00:09:19,940
No. Science is the devil's game. If
Jesus would have had himself a 454 big
163
00:09:19,940 --> 00:09:22,960
block, he'd have wanted them Jews to
kill him this way, too.
164
00:09:25,180 --> 00:09:25,999
You're right.
165
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000
You're right.
166
00:09:27,230 --> 00:09:30,090
You deserve to die with some dignity,
though.
167
00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:33,370
So go on, get your truck, boat, truck.
168
00:09:34,690 --> 00:09:35,930
Uh -uh. No, sir.
169
00:09:36,350 --> 00:09:38,230
Okay. Take the keys.
170
00:09:38,590 --> 00:09:40,550
Yes, I'll tell your granny you stole it.
171
00:09:40,870 --> 00:09:42,990
Come on, now. Let me hit you so it's
believable.
172
00:09:43,190 --> 00:09:45,970
We could probably cover that with a
story. That'd be them ribs.
173
00:09:46,210 --> 00:09:47,270
I kicked it orbital.
174
00:09:48,030 --> 00:09:49,670
That's exactly how I would have done it.
175
00:09:50,070 --> 00:09:51,070
Farewell, old friend.
176
00:09:51,900 --> 00:09:56,380
Just make sure you're safely inside the
pearly gates before you start calling
177
00:09:56,380 --> 00:09:57,380
everybody homeless.
178
00:09:57,580 --> 00:09:58,580
Don't you tell me what to do.
179
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:00,000
I'll do it. I'll clean.
180
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:01,700
Oh, you're such a pill.
181
00:10:02,340 --> 00:10:04,520
Hey, y 'all. Look what I found at the
library.
182
00:10:05,860 --> 00:10:06,860
Experimental procedures.
183
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:09,900
Yeah, they got them a treatment that
might be able to save Daddy. We've got
184
00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:11,480
stop him. Early. Wait.
185
00:10:15,120 --> 00:10:16,120
Wait, Early.
186
00:10:16,240 --> 00:10:17,240
Wait.
187
00:10:28,979 --> 00:10:30,560
Damn our bags.
188
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:33,180
Look here, I done chipped a damn tooth.
189
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:35,660
Yeah.
190
00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:37,600
Pizzle.
191
00:10:38,100 --> 00:10:39,100
Let's go early.
192
00:10:39,700 --> 00:10:43,980
What we do? I like driving in my truck.
He likes to drive in his truck.
193
00:10:44,980 --> 00:10:45,980
Auburn sucks.
194
00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,360
Auburn sucks.
195
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:51,080
I like driving in my truck. He likes to
drive in his truck.
196
00:10:53,100 --> 00:10:53,979
Auburn sucks.
197
00:10:53,980 --> 00:10:54,980
Auburn sucks.
198
00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:57,840
I like trucks.
199
00:10:58,140 --> 00:10:59,140
They like trucks.
200
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:07,080
I don't, uh, I don't care for Auburn. He
doesn't care for Auburn.
201
00:11:10,500 --> 00:11:11,500
Holes.
15480
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